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March 29, 2024, 01:50:02 AM

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Breakups then

Started by spaghetamine, January 06, 2022, 06:58:35 PM

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spaghetamine

Got broken up with a few days ago, we were only together for six months but it still hurts like fuck. Pretty amicable split and I know it was for the best for that doesn't really provide me with much in the way of comfort. Bah. How do you all deal with this nonsense? Other than by crying and listening to sad music of course. Thinking that ripping some cardboard to shreds might be cathartic.

Butchers Blind

Get. On. The. Amphetamines. ASAP.

touchingcloth

Do you feel like pure shite?


Catalogue of ills

If you sense it was for best, then just think of all the unhappy years of co-dependent misery you've dodged. Did they really love mayonnaise?

Emma Raducanu

Think of all the time you have now to explore yourself.

C_Larence

Got broken up with a couple of months back, in quite a brutal way. Don't really have any advice except that time will help you feel better, but I know that's shit when you feel bad now.

Butchers Blind

Build a mecanno replica of the Titanic.

PlanktonSideburns


bgmnts

Never broken up with anyone so I'm coming out on top here.

shoulders

Quote from: spaghetamine on January 06, 2022, 06:58:35 PMGot broken up with a few days ago, we were only together for six months but it still hurts like fuck. Pretty amicable split and I know it was for the best for that doesn't really provide me with much in the way of comfort. Bah. How do you all deal with this nonsense? Other than by crying and listening to sad music of course. Thinking that ripping some cardboard to shreds might be cathartic.

Sorry to read this and be sure to take care of yourself and reach out to people who care about you.

Dealing with it? Maybe just time and a level of willpower where you can hold onto any remaining shred of self respect even if it burns any easier indulgent short term thoughts.

No-one tells you that practically speaking it can be like as though they actually died, but that was how it felt to me for the most part. As we had little then no contact it was simply like dealing with loss. I couldn't cry much but I felt like the breath had been stolen from me, somehow. Difficult to explain. Your brain reruns scenarios over and over but nothing can turn back the clock.

Different people will tell you a range of things but it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life by far.  It was so sudden then after vvery slow. Took a long time to get over. Even 3 years later I occasionally noted when a day had passed without thinking about her. Now I might think about it once a month but it isn't in my general headspace.

Thankfully everyone is different and you might find you can pull it around more quickly than someone like myself who churns things over and over.

Anyway, it's a shitty business, look after yourself.


itsfredtitmus

Will get better I promise xxx

Glebe

Hugs spaghetamine, and C_Larence too.

gib


touchingcloth

Quote from: Butchers Blind on January 06, 2022, 10:02:42 PMBuild a mecanno replica of the Titanic.

Build a Meccano replica of your ex.


thenoise

I recommend that you don't stay friend with her, don't meet up with her and try and seduce her but then drink too much and guilt trip her about how bad she made you feel and/or have sex with her. But you're probably going to do it anyway.

Alfigator

Definitely don't try and stay friendly or in touch or owt like that. Never works, just drags it out. Best to just cut all contact and delete the number straight away. Talk it out loud with family and friends, works so much better than bottling it up.

Chin up son, be rate in the end.

Ferris

Quote from: Alfigator on January 07, 2022, 12:32:42 AMBest to just cut all contact and delete the number straight away.

I did this and the ex came over to me in a pub (happened to be in the same boozer) and berated me for ignoring her so you have to watch it.

Drinking heavily for a few months then meeting other people, that's the ticket.

the Fallen

The optimal way to view this as not as something that's ended - boy, you're in for a shock if you believe in permanence - but something you achieved and had

And you are not only the same person you were who made it happen, but also now have the experience upon you. The musky smell of human contact. A knowledge of what worked. You've seen private parts, presumably.

You could slide under the nearest hobo if that jangles your jollies, though I urge you to treat this as a wake and not a funeral.

There's upsides to everything. I'd say sorry for your loss, but really, you've lost nothing. There is no other way, there never was any other possibility, What If is senseless torture you must not do, these are the breaks and I think you've done magnificent. You had something for six months and it had its time.

All you're missing right now is perspective and distance will provide. You still have you. You lovely, caring thing.

Pijlstaart

I was broken up with once, many many years ago, I'd been using a fart sack, it was a duvet cover but I called it a fart sack, I'd crawl into it at the end of the day and let out all my saved-up farts and keep it balled-up in the wardrobe. It was very wrong of me and I know that now, not something I can justify, but anyway, she discovered the fart sack and felt she could never view me as a life-partner, a friend or even an equal. Would have preferred an "it's me or the sack" ultimatum, but she was resolute.

Think there's only one thing you can do, revenge, don a headband, do some training montages, boxercise, zumba, tyre-swing, maybe you can draw lines on maps, high-five an older man, just get your mind and body ready for the final showdown. Maybe a comedy of manners, washing line hijinks, maybe grow out your big toenail and deinonychus her, revenge is a versatile medium.

#21
Just be thankful it was relatively early days and there were no kids or a mortgage or similar financial commitment involved. I've calculated that if me and my partner were to split, I'd be so fucked financially and situationally that I might as well die. Which is nice.

It helps me understand why so many people cheat, rather than doing the "right thing" and ending the relationship first before finding someone else. Even if there weren't the sexual excitement aspect, the relief of knowing you have a potential glide path to another stable, affordable living situation must be bliss.

willbo

Breakups are bad for me because I have autism and severe anxiety so it takes me years to bounce back. I had a bad time with a short relationship 2 years ago. It wasn't working - I wanted it to end myself - but I was very isolated and they were the only person I had to talk to in my life, so it was very rough. I was in very bad emotional pain for a while and feeling very lost. I did a lot of crazy things like get tattoos and go to reiki.

Tony Tony Tony

Some wise advice above from the sages of CaB.

Can I throw in my two pence worth?

I find Getting back in the swim of things to be the best way. I understand prozzies are most amenable.

imitationleather

Breaking up seriously fucking sucks if you don't already have someone else lined up.

Buelligan

I had myself lined up.  Raring to go, I was.  Lavished all my attention, time and money on myself and I've never been happier.

Pretty sure this one's a keeper.

thenoise

Quote from: Tony Tony Tony on January 07, 2022, 10:28:31 AMI understand prozzies are most amenable.

Are they wearing/insisting on masks at the moment? Enquiring for a friend.

thenoise

P.s. dont badger her for a full explanation of why she broke things off, even if she offers an honest explanation which she probably won't, she probably isn't even being honest with herself.

the Fallen

Quote from: thenoise on January 07, 2022, 10:38:08 AMAre they wearing/insisting on masks at the moment? Enquiring for a friend.


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Type of Visit:   Incall
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Amount Paid:   85
Recommended:   Yes


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Having been shown to the room you must have a shower.

The Lady
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I have given Zara a recommendation, but she has not made it onto my A-List. Currently this consists of Jamie and Jayda,others were on it but they have left Ego Massage. Therefore it is unlikely that I will book her again.

JaDanketies

I honestly don't feel like I've ever given much of a shit about being broken up with, or breaking up with someone. I don't respond to grief in the extreme ways other people do, either. I think there might be sommat a little wrong in the ol' noggin; I can even point to a bunch of traumas and life experiences that made me feel this way.

To me, every relationship is transient and nothing is ever secure. It's crazy to me that other people feel secure about anything.

Quote from: the Fallen on January 07, 2022, 07:52:18 AMThere's upsides to everything. I'd say sorry for your loss, but really, you've lost nothing. There is no other way, there never was any other possibility, What If is senseless torture you must not do, these are the breaks and I think you've done magnificent. You had something for six months and it had its time.


you're gonna leave this world with exactly as much as you had when you entered it