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Started by Jockice, January 07, 2022, 12:14:41 PM
Quote from: bakabaka on January 07, 2022, 01:04:04 PMOne of the hard parts of being on the autism spectrum is that you very rarely know why no-one will go out with you or what to do to improve your chances of starting a relationship. So most spend long periods being very lonely/isolated with little cause for optimism.
Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on January 08, 2022, 05:51:14 AMSome really interesting posts from jockie and kanks here, I'm glad you started this thread. eye opening weird attitudes jockie describes here,
Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on January 08, 2022, 10:28:35 AMThis is good rambling on, and interesting
Quote from: shoulders on January 07, 2022, 12:47:00 PMMy brother had a date where the woman that turned up was literally another person from the pictures they had used. He turned around and walked away. I think that was justified.
Quote from: shoulders on January 08, 2022, 09:05:16 AMWhile I am not exactly an absolutely A1 problem-free Regular Dude I don't think I'm on the spectrum (unless everyone has just been polite this whole time) and can say for sure that in the past I had no idea why no-one would go out with me or what to do to improve my chances of starting a relationship so spent long periods being very lonely and isolated with little cause for optimism.I take it that being on the spectrum has a compound effect on life experience and environmental factors though.
Quote from: shoulders on January 08, 2022, 09:05:16 AMI take it that being on the spectrum has a compound effect on life experience and environmental factors though.
Quote from: bakabaka on January 08, 2022, 07:51:36 PMAs an example, I was well into my 40's before I realised that 'Hippo' wasn't a term of endearment and that I had been bullied for years at school. Though it does beg the question 'Is it bullying if the victim doesn't know or suffer particularly?' but that's too much of a derail, maybe keep that for another thread.
Quote from: bakabaka on January 07, 2022, 01:04:04 PMBut we have it easy, because as your friend says, if a disability is invisible it doesn't count, right?
Quote from: Jockice on January 09, 2022, 10:53:48 AMAnd just to connect it with another person on this thread's experiences, she is now a sex worker, which seems to fit in with her life as a disabled person in a better way than a conventional job would.
Quote from: bakabaka on January 09, 2022, 12:52:50 PMAnd the visible/invisible comment was sarcasm as both are similar but different nightmares to live with.
Quote from: mothman on January 12, 2022, 12:19:58 AMSorry Retro, don't know what to suggest. Dare I ask... internet dating?
Quote from: monkfromhavana on January 12, 2022, 08:21:15 AMA mate of mine was once quite desperate for a girlfriend and saw that a woman had broken down in her car opposite his flat. He went across to assist (to be fair, even if it had been a bloke he'd have went over to offer help). He was chatting to her and helping when he noticed that she had a prosthetic leg. At the end of the procedure he asked her if she'd like to go out sometime and her response was "are you a 'devotee'?". He had no idea what that meant and left it at that.
Quote from: Jockice on January 20, 2022, 11:03:24 AMAs mentioned in this piece I found while internet surfing yesterday. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoKQzAhXkbwActually, this is a top series, with similar pieces on things you shouldn't say to people with ginger hair, wheelchair users and those who have cerebral palsy (or in my case something that appears to be cerebral palsy) but forgetting my own personal life, there are lots of others covering disability, cultural, race and gender/sexuality issues and even (of special interest to CaB members) gamers and bald men. Any of you lot on this?. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG2qreoFRvII spent hours watching them last night. Great stuff. It's just a shame they missed out phimosis. Which incidentally I had as a child. Genuinely. It was quite a drawback.
Quote from: jobotic on January 20, 2022, 11:42:57 AMLaughed.Those look really good. Who the fuck would say "have you had the op?" to a trans person? Or ask anyone they don't know very personal questions? I remember people hilariously saying "did you know you've got a spot there?" when I had bad teenage acne - no didn't realise, it's not like I don't obsessively look in the mirror to check how bad it is.I got a picture book out for my daughter the other day and the girl in it has vitiligo - but it's not mentioned and it's not what the book is about. That seems to be more common in kid's books these days - you'll have a character called Andy who has a wheelchair but it's not called Andy Has A Wheelchair.Sorry, post all over the place and nothing to do with dating - related to the BBC3 videos Jockice linked to.
Quote from: Jockice on January 20, 2022, 11:54:56 AMI'm glad that kids' books are like that nowadays. A definite step forward. I think youngsters today are being taught to be more tolerant.
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