Sturgeon DEMANDS to know if your KIDS are BUMMING or BEING BUMMED

[Rizla]

GARDIAN ARTICEL
A MORE INDEPTH LOOK IN SOME CUNTS BLOG

As one who benefitted from a scottish education in the 80s and 90s, I don't recall ever being officially asked how much bumming I was getting done. Of course this is the sort of thing we must expect when a CABAL of NEOLIBERAL TECHNOCRATS take charge.

What worries me as a father of 4, is, as cunt's blog points out, the fact they don't even know the difference between Census and Survey, and the vagueness over who is actually behind this, what it is for, how the data will be protected, which answers will flag up vulnerable children. And from what I can gather from "YES twitter", any objections to any part of this means you are a HOMOPHOBIC.

One thing CaB has taught me is to be vigilant of people looking for wanking stories, so this naturally rang a few alarm bells. What do YOU think - should the First Minister be privy to whether or not your DD's and DS's engage in "bum banditry"? Or should NOSEY NIC keep her beak out of OUR KIDS ARSEHOLES? Over to you.

[imitationleather]

Oh great, another child sex thread.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Nobodies fuckin business imo. I don't really like the idea of censuses in general though.

[pancreas]

What's the problem with this? Sounds reasonable to me.

[imitationleather]

What's the problem with this? Sounds reasonable to me.

I BET IT DOES YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS

[pancreas]

You might be concerned about the quality of the data, but objecting to the question on moral grounds strikes me as reactionary.

I BET IT DOES YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS

YOUR BLOCKED BUMMED

[stonkers]

By all means question it, but constantly framing the whole discussion around anal, like the Alba lot insist on doing, is homophobic yes.

[Gurke and Hare]

Asking 14 year-olds if they've had it off? Yeah, that data's going to be dead reliable.

[ProvanFan]

I'm sure I answered a survey like this at school in the 00s. Can't remember if it asked about DISGUSTING GAY SEX UP THE BUM IN CAPITAL LETTERS, mind. Could also have been a prank.

[greencalx]

It's probably worth having some reliable statistics around these issues. However this doesn't seem like the optimal way to obtain them, as I can imagine a number of reasons why people might not answer honestly (in both directions).

[imitationleather]

(in both directions).

Yes I have definitely done it in both directions ✅

[greencalx]

only two? Lightweight.

[Rizla]

By all means question it, but constantly framing the whole discussion around anal, like the Alba lot insist on doing, is homophobic yes.

"Homophobic Yes" was of course Alba's original choice of name.

[Ferris]

According to the graudian: Nicola Sturgeon said she wanted to 'properly understand the reality young people face' but surely this requires you to be facing entirely the other way.

[Catalogue of ills]

Can't they just ask them to produce their Gay Cards?

[Captain Z]

Oh no, I thought the question said "Alan sex".

[stonkers]

"Homophobic Yes" was of course Alba's original choice of name.

Would have been accurate

[Blumf]

I assume the survey will have the appropriate "yes, but they go to a different school, so you wouldn't know them" answers.

[jamiefairlie]

Is Scotland independent yet?

[PlanktonSideburns]

By all means question it, but constantly framing the whole discussion around anal, like the Alba lot insist on doing, is homophobic yes.

HSART be like

[bgmnts]

Asking 14 year-olds if they've had it off? Yeah, that data's going to be dead reliable.

Round to the nearest thousand where applicable.

I dont see much of a problem though, I feel that's generally the age when people start asking questions about and discovering sex.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

I'm sure I answered a survey like this at school in the 00s. Can't remember if it asked about DISGUSTING GAY SEX UP THE BUM IN CAPITAL LETTERS, mind. Could also have been a prank.

I was a bit bemused by the fuss over this too, as I can remember filling in something similar at school back in the mid 90s. Can't remember whether any arse sex questions featured either, but I do remember most people just exaggerated or made stuff up for a laugh. They probably concluded from our results that ours was a school full of sexually promiscuous, barbiturate-abusing, 20 bottles of spirits per week-drinking, 100 a day smokers. Unless teenagers have changed drastically in the last two or three decades, surely the results this time round will be much the same.

[thenoise]

A more detailed survey could easily determine which experienced were genuine and which were imaginary.

For example, my first 'girlfriend' Pauline, an older girl than me at 12, used to let me drink her breastmilk, and her boobies were so big she could flop them over her shoulders. Which I would then mime with a theatrical gesture. My mate Richard was so impressed.