The Grand Old Nonce of York: Andy's trial is GO

[idunnosomename]

Watch out
Paedo's about
Watch out
Paedo's about
Oh you better watch out
There's a paedo about

[Paul Calf]

He was a stupid, racist old cunt, and I wasnae  the least bit bothered about his carking it, but I find this " He's not dead really! Hope he gets well soon! LOL! " stuff bordering on the Colin Huntish. The boys and girls of CaB are better than that.

This is bordering on treason: wishing death on the consort of the reigning monarch.

He'd be turning in his grave if he WAS dead.

[DrGreggles]

Quite right, Lisa. We should all make more of an effort to elevate the tone. Certainly, no-one could accuse you of not leading by example.

Right, everybody, you heard him. Which actress have you been wanking over this week?

Hope he pulls through

[Fambo Number Mive]

[Dr Rock]

So he hasn't paid yet? Clocks ticking...

[Jittlebags]

That's only 700,000,000 individual Duchy Original Shortbread biscuits, that equates to 31,000 packs, so if every second person in the UK bought a pack, we can bale His Royal Nonceness (alleged, nothing proved in a court of law) out.

[touchingcloth]

Right, everybody, you heard him. Which actress have you been wanking over this week?

Can we widen it to public figures more generally? If so, Prince Phillip. I'm saving all of the cummies I've done over him in an old jam jar (an old Robinson's jam jar - I know what my boi likes) and I plan to present them to him when we recovers and we finally get to meet. CHIN UP OLD BOY CHIN UP FOR MY CUMMIES.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Sure he will pay that back in no time

[kalowski]

Charles looks like he's been on the Del Boy impersonator course.

[Paul Calf]

He's given up waiting for the Mother of Death to die having realised that she's not mortal. He's seeking immortality through comedy via the tried and tested route of comedy dining.

[Blumf]

Thanks everyone, for stumping up

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60667111

The Duke of York is paying the financial settlement to his accuser Virginia Giuffre and formally ending a civil case brought against him in the US, according to court documents.

"Stipulation of dismissal" papers have been filed which will bring an end to the sex assault case.

The amount to be paid by Prince Andrew in the settlement agreed last month has not been revealed.

Money well spent

[Butchers Blind]

Hope she was worth it.

[Ferris]

Key phrase for me:

The amount to be paid by Prince Andrew in the settlement agreed last month has not been revealed.

Surprised the beeb bothered to report this correctly - the 12 million is a red herring, I think that's a compelled charitable donation as part of the settlement.

I'd guess the actual amount to Giuffre is in the tens of millions. It can be discussed after the jubilee according to the settlement, so we'll find out eventually.

Ferris Sez: fifty million quid, nailed on. Thanks for the bailout, plebs!

[steve98]

Key phrase for me:

Surprised the beeb bothered to report this correctly - the 12 million is a red herring, I think that's a compelled charitable donation as part of the settlement.

I'd guess the actual amount to Giuffre is in the tens of millions. It can be discussed after the jubilee according to the settlement, so we'll find out eventually.

Ferris Sez: fifty million quid, nailed on. Thanks for the bailout, plebs!

He (Andrew) has always been there for us during the difficult times: The Falklands, saving priceless paintings from the Windsor castle fire, Royal Knockout; it's only right we should be here for him during his.

I've pledged that the next time I'm given an unemployment benefit rise I'll give the extra each fortnight to him (And you can quote me on that.)

[steve98]

Imagine a device where an electrode is placed either side of your head, with 50,000 volts ready to flow. You'll be fine as long as you don't... sweat (Electricity loves saline).

Would Andrew wear that device (and risk death) to prove that he really is telling the truth about being unable to sweat? I say he would (As long as it was fair and didn't force him to undergo dangerously extreme procedures.)

Or you could have him in a wired-up gimp-suit in a carnival, and the public pay a tenner to try and make him sweat (They get 1 minute). Sometimes it works (Tits being waved in his face), he sweats, and he gets a blast of electricity;, but most of the time it doesn't (Threatening him with vigilante violence.)

[steve98]

You can't feed him hot curry. That wouldn't be fair (Korma maybe, but nothing hotter.)

[Jittlebags]

Swan Dopiaza.

[Dr Rock]

He can sweat again now. He had some procedures done. It's in the Newsnight interview.

[Alberon]

He never gave any details od that procedures, did he?

Probably reading the initial allegations from Giuffre was what did it.

[JaDanketies]

I feel now the British taxpayer has stumped up several million in compo for Guiffre, it's her duty to try to get one of our national megapeeds jailed in return

In fairness I suppose maybe the mean-average taxpayer might have only contributed £1 or £2 towards Andrew's sex crime payout fund, which is good value when you think of it like that. Basic rate taxpayers might have only contributed a couple of pennies tbf

[Paul Calf]

I imagine 'not getting any megapeeds jailed' is a condition of the settlement.