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Midget Gems #CANCELLED

Started by Blue Jam, January 13, 2022, 06:27:33 PM

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Blue Jam

Anyone for some Mini Gems?

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-59981811

(seems fair enough, not a very nice name really was it?)

H-O-W-L

Don't ask what they call Walnut Whips abroad.

Ian Drunken Smurf

I bet they'll do something spiteful like put them up out of reach of people...

Alberon

Next they'll be wanting to rename Cripple Creams!

H-O-W-L


Blumf

They renamed Opal Fruits to Starburst, and I did nothing...

Quote from: Alberon on January 13, 2022, 06:37:08 PMNext they'll be wanting to rename Cripple Creams!

They better not come for my 'Obbling Scroungers.

Brundle-Fly

Naa, they'll be coming after Crunchy Hunchbacks next, you mark my words!

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Quote from: Blue Jam on January 13, 2022, 06:27:33 PMAnyone for some Mini Gems?

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-59981811

(seems fair enough, not a very nice name really was it?)

Thought they were Maynards to be honest

Johnny Yesno

They'll be coming for the Iced Gems next to avoid offending people who were murdered by the Mafia.

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Whatever became of Cretin Clumps?

touchingcloth

Quality Street took its name from a ghetto where a lot of the Windrush Families were forcibly moved to, so I imagine Nestlé must be shitting themselves now.

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Quote from: Replies From View on January 13, 2022, 06:46:53 PMThought they were Maynards to be honest

Phew - it turns out 'Midget Gems' is a generic product name, with the article pointing out that Tesco will be following suit.

Hopefully Maynards themselves will stand firm and Britain won't have to lose its soul for the fashionable trend of appeasing those who self-identify as midgets yet don't like to be routinely compared with miniaturised gelatine chomps.



IT COMES WITH THE TERRITORY MATE!  CHEW OR BE CHEWED!!

touchingcloth

OH, WE'RE "ALL SORTS" ARE WE? CAN'T EVEN TELL US APART?

mothman

I like midgets, but I couldn't eat a whole one family.


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"With the rebranding we will also sneakily be reducing the number of gems per pack.  If anyone calls us out on it, we can say no we haven't reduced the number of midget gems because these packs never contained any midget gems - these are mini gems which are entirely new product."



"One of the benefits of no longer needing to source midgets for our recipes is that we can say good riddance to Yorkshire and its shrunken ways."

JesusAndYourBush


Kankurette

They don't look like tiny Iced Gems. I am offended.

the Fallen

What next

Non-hepcats wanting Squares banned?

"My fav crisp is salt and vinegar Perfectly Fashionable Enoughs"

jobotic


Blue Jam

"jaffa cakes" is another generic, non-copyright term isn't it? Is it offensive to men who are firing blanks?

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Funny Feet ice creams - famously originally named Elephant Men

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Jammy Dodgers are offensive to paedophiles

touchingcloth

Are they even actual fucking gems?

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Quote from: touchingcloth on January 13, 2022, 07:27:06 PMAre they even actual fucking gems?

As long as they have real gems in the ingredients it is legally okay to call them that.

What we are going to see in coming months is the factories all shifting from Yorkshire to wherever Mini Coopers etc are built; I couldn't be fucked to read the entire Wikipedia article to work it out, sorry.

jamiefairlie

So is it ok to call midgets mini-people now?

Blue Jam

Is the name "sausage dog" problematic? They do have doggie achondroplasia after all. They also aren't sausages, their meat is not reconstituted.

*insert your own Alan Johnson quote here*

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Quote from: Blue Jam on January 13, 2022, 07:48:13 PMIs the name "sausage dog" problematic? They do have doggie achondroplasia after all. They also aren't sausages, their meat is not reconstituted.

Luckily no confectionary items are called "sausage dogs", otherwise they would be "for the can" as Wallace would say in A Close Shave.

Blue Jam

Yeah, but sausage dogs have such lovely big sad brown eyes, I hate the thought of upsetting them even if I do find them absolutely f***ing hilarious to look at.

Link sausages should be banned because frankly they're just rude. Was Lorne sausage invented by a Puritan? I bet it was. Square is as square does.