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Top most hideous objects of decoration (LIST THREAD)

Started by pancreas, May 21, 2022, 01:06:17 PM

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touchingcloth

Gaudy, gilded Catholic tat in general, but infants of Prague in particular.



Be honest. If you saw a child that looked like that in reality, you'd try and steamroller the horror out of the cunt.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 21, 2022, 02:05:36 PMI actually quite like grey as a neutral colour but this recent trend of making the entire interior is horrifically drab, everything blends into everything else. It must be like living in series one of Red Dwarf.
People are told that you should paint your house neutral if you want to sell it. And then the buyer doesn't paint it.

A fair number of people on Come Dine With Me seem to have erotic photos of themselves on their walls. I guess it's making a statement. Not as good as erotic swan lady though.

Artificial plants in someone's home are desolate. Although these days lego plants seem to be a thing, and any ornamental adult lego is even worse.

LP sleeves on the wall. Particularly if there's only one and it's The White Album.

In the end, though, if it's tacky crap that's much better than beige Ikea crap. I'd rather go into a home and see 100 devotional candles and icons, or 10000 thimbles, than a print of the Eiffel Tower.

touchingcloth


Ferris

Quote from: The Mollusk on May 21, 2022, 02:05:29 PMNah it's everywhere, I've been in thousands of London properties for my job and I see it all the time. No one has good taste.

For an Airbnb you have to bland-it-up so that nobody is actively offended by your goatse wall hanging or whatever.

By going beige, ironically, you please no one (to your detriment). Pulling a kieth starmer.

TrenterPercenter

Ample opportunity to post a couple of pics of my cactus that just bloomed.  It's incredible, the flowers only last 24hrs and it is a rare thing for them to bloom out of their natural habitat.

Look at it.



Ferris

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on May 21, 2022, 02:20:15 PMPeople are told that you should paint your house neutral if you want to sell it. And then the buyer doesn't paint it.

Our gaff was all shiny grey when we moved in, it was awful. I painted a load of the rooms before we moved in or got furniture because I couldn't live in the weird monochrome.

The Mollusk

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on May 21, 2022, 02:20:15 PMLP sleeves on the wall.

I have framed promo posters of some of my favourite albums on my walls, am I a cunt?

I suppose it does depend on which album though. Thankfully I have exceptional taste so adorning my walls are LMFAO's Sorry For Party Rocking, Millie Jackson's Back to the S**t! and Virgin Killer by Scorpions.

pancreas

Quote from: The Mollusk on May 21, 2022, 02:39:35 PMI have framed promo posters of some of my favourite albums on my walls, am I a cunt?

I suppose it does depend on which album though. Thankfully I have exceptional taste so adorning my walls are LMFAO's Sorry For Party Rocking, Millie Jackson's Back to the S**t! and Virgin Killer by Scorpions.

I have a Derek & Clive LP up on the wall of my office. I don't imagine the students will have heard of Derek & Clive.

touchingcloth

Quote from: The Mollusk on May 21, 2022, 02:39:35 PMI have framed promo posters of some of my favourite albums on my walls, am I a cunt?

Yes, but the two things are unrelated.


The Mollusk

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 21, 2022, 03:10:11 PMYes, but the two things are unrelated.



How about I come round your house and decorate the place with your BLOOD AND BRAINS

touchingcloth

Quote from: The Mollusk on May 21, 2022, 03:13:49 PMHow about I come round your house and decorate the place with your BLOOD AND BRAINS

Sure, but it won't stop you being a cunt.

JesusAndYourBush

Anything by Thomas Kincaid / Bradford Exchange.

They advertise them in the back of magazines and I think I've posted images of them in the past.  Whenever I see one of the ads I always stop to have a good look at it because they really are a joy to behold - such utter glittery gaudy tat... a Santa Claus adorned with too much glitter and a little train that goes round it, a really gaudy glittery christmas tree made from glitter with a little train that goes round it, an AC/DC beer stein with horns adorned with loads of glittery tat, etc etc etc, and all at the reasonable price of 6 monthly payments of £howfuckingmuch?

thenoise

Travelling rah shit. Throws from India, Buddhas from Thailand, beads from Indonesia. Just paper your walls with money already and save the air pollution.

Possibly (but actually) racist statuettes of tiny black jazz men.




Sebastian Cobb

Some of the kleeneze tat is amazing as well. A kitchen roll holder where the endpieces are the head/tail of a cat. French maid upright vacuum cover.

Video Game Fan 2000

I saw a breadbin once that was coloured like garfield but the door was designed to look like a human mouth


Pimhole

Anyone else just monitoring this thread for when something in your own house comes up?

cosmic-hearse



During the early days of lockdown, when we would regularly Go For A Walk, I would wander down many a suburban London street & see loads of horrendous fake leaded windows. There's a much broader point to be made about the utter sterility of early 20th century housing in this country, but these pointless, ugly, self-defeating pieces of glass really sum it up.

holyzombiejesus

Glass coffee tables. Even ignoring the Una Stubbs thing, they're horrible. Everything about them makes me wince.

Composite picture frames.

Fluffy cushion covers

Rugs with a really deep pile.

Overly big TVs.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on May 21, 2022, 01:08:04 PMtranslucent toilet seat full of seashells

Wife refused to let me buy one that had little yellow bathtub ducks in it.

badaids


Anything that has, or a variation of, 'keep calm and carry on' on it.

badaids

Quote from: The Mollusk on May 21, 2022, 01:40:07 PM

On the wall of every single London Airbnb ever.

And those pictures of like Marilyn Monroe, or James Dean that have a colour isolation effect on and are covered in like squiggles of glittery metallic paint and sequins stuck on them.

Dex Sawash

We moved to our house almost 4 years ago. Wife is exceptionally sensitive to huffing fumes so repainting possibilities in north carolina are confined to max 3 week window each spring/autumn where temperatures allow windows to be left open around the clock several days straight. Haven't gotten to the laundry room yet. Here's the last people's leftover laundry, uh, wall thing.


Spoiler alert
[close]


dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Dex Sawash on May 21, 2022, 06:49:43 PMWife refused to let me buy one that had little yellow bathtub ducks in it.
Bathrooms are a minefield. I've no idea what constitutes acceptable bathroom decor. Furry loo seat covers? Razor blade loo seats? Wicker mats? Plastic mats? Map of the world shower curtains? Clouds or stars on the ceiling? Daily Mail cartoons? Humorous signs about not peeing on stuff? Ducks? Your children's more enigmatic sculpture? Novelty loo brushes? 10x magnifying mirrors? Coloured toilets? Baths with legs? Recessed baths? Wet rooms? Air fresheners that would cleanse the stench of 10 Downing St? Family portraits? Bookshelves? Mould?

NattyDread 2



This sort of pish is all over the highlands and beyond. They're bloody everywhere.

kalowski

Quote from: badaids on May 21, 2022, 06:53:06 PMAnything that has, or a variation of, 'keep calm and carry on' on it.
I'm marketing a "Keep Calm and Have a Wank" poster for those irreverent single blokes who just don't care!

Brian Freeze

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 21, 2022, 01:53:48 PMAs well as porcelain horses my grandparents had little carts attached to them made out of dismantled clothes pegs.

Once you start accumulating this tat it ends up requiring its own furniture to put it in, like standing display cases. Best to nip it in the bud really.

For years and years us grandkids bought gran a little swarovski style animal or flower for birthdays and christmas and holiday presents. There were dozens of them, she had two mirrored shelves in the chimney breast and she'd alternate the displays frequently to keep on top of the dust and to keep us guessing as what would be out when we visited.

It wasn't quite a death bed confession but not far off when she told us she'd never liked any of them and had done it all for our benefit.

Sebastian Cobb

Hahaha!

My parents neighbours are about 10 years older than my parents and have gone into a ritual of tacky Christmas lights in the garden, it started to amuse the children of the neighbours on the other side but they'll be about 30 now, I think then it carried on for the grandkids, who will be teenagers. Slippery slope innit.

The Mollusk

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on May 21, 2022, 07:25:13 PMBathrooms are a minefield. I've no idea what constitutes acceptable bathroom decor. Furry loo seat covers? Razor blade loo seats? Wicker mats? Plastic mats? Map of the world shower curtains? Clouds or stars on the ceiling? Daily Mail cartoons? Humorous signs about not peeing on stuff? Ducks? Your children's more enigmatic sculpture? Novelty loo brushes? 10x magnifying mirrors? Coloured toilets? Baths with legs? Recessed baths? Wet rooms? Air fresheners that would cleanse the stench of 10 Downing St? Family portraits? Bookshelves? Mould?


Basically all you need in a bathroom is a nice mirror and fuck loads of plants. And maybe a toilet, which if utilised correctly can carry out all of the standard ablutions, eliminating the need for any of the other so-called amenities.