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Penguin bar query

Started by Fambo Number Mive, January 13, 2022, 10:37:25 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Blumf

Quote from: Brian Freeze on January 14, 2022, 12:37:45 AMWhen did the different coulour wrappers stop? They're all red now.

Really? How do you tell yer mint from yer orange? Are they doing a Revels?

Replies From View

Q) How does a penguin get its beak out

A) By eating all the feathers from inside the glassware shop

shiftwork2

Explain that on account of it seeming, at first pass, to be fucking shit.

Brian Freeze

Quote from: Blumf on January 14, 2022, 01:13:25 AMReally? How do you tell yer mint from yer orange? Are they doing a Revels?

Flavoured penguins? What the fuck?

Replies From View

They've had mint and orange chocolate for longer than they've had ordinary chocolate of its own self.  So of course penguins, being relics of the pre-ordinary phase, would still mark out their territory by pissing on their eggs.

the Fallen

They had a brief phase in 2018 where they printed minor factoids taken from various recent military skirmishes, but it's back to puns in these jolly times

Replies From View

Do they still produce blackened GRIEF WRAPPERS for people to eat penguins at funeral services

The Mollusk

Q. A penguin walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?"

A.
[close]

Ray Travez

What's black and white and red all over?

A Marxist penguin

Replies From View

P-p-p pick up AIDS



that was a great campaign but they abandoned it in the 80s when AIDS started to mean something else :(

SpiderChrist

Quote from: The Mollusk on January 14, 2022, 07:55:33 AMQ. A penguin walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?"

A.
[close]

That has made me sad

The Mollusk

Quote from: Replies From View on January 14, 2022, 08:56:35 AMP-p-p pick up AIDS



that was a great campaign but they abandoned it in the 80s when AIDS started to mean something else :(

Someone read aloud a penguin joke to me once and it gave me hearing aids

Replies From View

Q) do penguins prefer warmth or coldness


A) coldness!

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on January 13, 2022, 02:42:24 PMThe Aldi hooky versions don't have jokes.

As much as I admire Aldi and Lidl's flagrant trademark skirting, Asda get the nod here for improving Penguin bars with their Puffin bars.

Can't remember if they had a joke or not though.

ProvanFan

Hard to believe they used to contain real penguin paste.

flotemysost

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 15, 2022, 05:47:18 PMAs much as I admire Aldi and Lidl's flagrant trademark skirting, Asda get the nod here for improving Penguin bars with their Puffin bars.

Can't remember if they had a joke or not though.

They could branch into even more diverse ornithological genuses, would love to see a Skua bar or a Blue-Footed Booby bar. Range of jokes might be a bit limited with the latter, I guess.


Replies From View

Still absolutely livid, by the way, that there exists no white chocolate coated custard cream named after polar bears. 

Absolutely obvious thing to do, name and concept, Arctic and Antarctic both covered thereafter, but couldn't be arsed because they are intrinsically shit.

Why would they not do it?!  I'm sure they would be tolerable, and I would buy one packet to try them out.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: flotemysost on January 16, 2022, 06:13:02 PMThey could branch into even more diverse ornithological genuses, would love to see a Skua bar or a Blue-Footed Booby bar. Range of jokes might be a bit limited with the latter, I guess.



The problem with a Booby bar is the link to John McCririck's pet name for his long-suffering wife.

Glebe

Quote from: Replies From View on January 16, 2022, 06:18:04 PMStill absolutely livid, by the way, that there exists no white chocolate coated custard cream named after polar bears. 

Absolutely obvious thing to do, name and concept, couldn't be arsed because they are intrinsically shit.

Why would they not do it?!  I would buy one packet to try them out.

This is why your business ventures keep failing.

I have spoken.

Replies From View

Quote from: Glebe on January 16, 2022, 06:20:58 PMThis is ways your business ventures keep falling.

I have spoken.
This is ways your business ventures keep falling.

I have spoken.

Well you are a fucking idiot for posting replicants

Glebe

Quote from: Replies From View on January 16, 2022, 06:22:12 PMWell you are a fucking idiot for posting replicants

I have fixed any replicants that occurred you ponce.

Sebastian Cobb

are you a replican or a replican't?

Glebe


ProvanFan

Quote from: Replies From View on January 16, 2022, 06:18:04 PMStill absolutely livid, by the way, that there exists no white chocolate coated custard cream named after polar bears. 

Absolutely obvious thing to do, name and concept, Arctic and Antarctic both covered thereafter, but couldn't be arsed because they are intrinsically shit.

Why would they not do it?!  I'm sure they would be tolerable, and I would buy one packet to try them out.

Could do flamingos, based on those Pink Panther wafers.

Replies From View

Quote from: Glebe on January 16, 2022, 06:24:42 PMI have fixed any replicants that occurred you ponce.

Well then you are as deceitful as you are plankton-minded.

Replies From View

Quote from: ProvanFan on January 16, 2022, 06:40:23 PMCould do flamingos, based on those Pink Panther wafers.

Ok but that would reach towards an altogether warmer climate, which would be confusing at this stage.

mothman

Just for you Replies, I'm going to get some custard creams and dip them in melted white chocolate.

ElTwopo

Quote from: Magnum Valentino on January 13, 2022, 05:51:19 PMAlways liked "what's green and smells? The Incredible Hulk's guff", especially because I've never since heard anyone called farts "guff".

Guff is, like, hassle.

Before bloody Marvel came along, the punchline to that was 'Kermit's Bum'.

ElTwopo

Oh and then there was the follow up question 'What's green and smells of pork?'

'Kermit's willy'

Weirdest episode of Family Fortunes ever.


Gurke and Hare

Quote from: Replies From View on January 16, 2022, 06:18:04 PMI'm sure they would be tolerable, and I would buy one packet to try them out.

I can almost hear Duncan Bannatyne writing the cheque from here.