Obvious things you've only just realised (2018 Thread )

[Huxleys Babkins]

Read that as both SIDES of the bread and thought 'Christ! Really?! I've never seen anyone do that, that is insane'

Unless you have a sandwich toaster, in which case you should be buttering the outsides too for a crispy golden finish. Just lash on that butter like a fucking madman. Quad-buttering.

[Darles Chickens]

Unless you have a sandwich toaster, in which case you should be buttering the outsides too for a crispy golden finish. Just lash on that butter like a fucking madman. Quad-buttering.

Nooo, you use cheese as butter on the inside sides.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I've always buttered the insides too. That's how mum used to do it, so I've carried on the tradition.

Just thinking now about my dad's triple bypass and eventual death from total organ failure and wondering if I should stop.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I had a row with my wife the other day because she was insisting everyone butters both slices of bread for sandwiches and I was saying people only butter one, you profligate maniac.

It's interesting that you settle disputes by rowing rather than shouting at each other, like my partner and I do. Presumably it's the shared effort needed to propel the boat that brings about a degree of harmony and understanding.

[Replies From View]

Toasts aren't even needed in late 2018 - early 2019.  Go with warmed breads.

I place two slices of bread on top of each other in the microwave.  Between the two slices of bread, I place a foil rectangle thing of butter like you steal from your local Debenhams cafe.  A 'blast' of about half an hour is enough to 'liberate' the butter perfectly within the two slices of bread.  Try it!

[MoonDust]

A TV remote, or remote controller, gets its name from being a controller that is remote from the TV. I.e., it controls remotely.

Can't fucking believe I've just realised this one!

[Gregory Torso]

The hymns "To be a Pilgrim" and "He who would Valiant be" are indeed the same hymn.

Whenever we had to sing this in school, my mate Darren would piss himself laughing because he thought a pilgrim was a kind of bird. What a thick bastard. That's why he got on the skag when he was 15.

[Ferris]

Whenever we had to sing this in school, my mate Darren would piss himself laughing because he thought a pilgrim was a kind of bird. What a thick bastard. That's why he got on the skag when he was 15.

Haha what a wally

[kalowski]

Toasts aren't even needed in late 2018 - early 2019.  Go with warmed breads.

I place two slices of bread on top of each other in the microwave.  Between the two slices of bread, I place a foil rectangle thing of butter like you steal from your local Debenhams cafe.  A 'blast' of about half an hour is enough to 'liberate' the butter perfectly within the two slices of bread.  Try it!

Microwaved bread? I'm not coming to your house for tea.

[checkoutgirl]

A TV remote, or remote controller, gets its name from being a controller that is remote from the TV. I.e., it controls remotely.

Can't fucking believe I've just realised this one!

What did you think the "remote" part was there for? Is it just something you never bothered to think about?

For the first 35 years of my life I thought the "light" in "many hands make light work" meant light as in brightness as opposed to the type of light that it obviously means which is not heavy or easy. Idiot.

[mothman]

Microwaved bread? I'm not coming to your house for tea.

You won't need to, it's burned down.

[Replies From View]

You won't need to, it's burned down.

It's so wonderful - you get all the blackened stone and wood, and people coming out all choking half to death and crying about their babies still being inside.  It's like the old days, except in colour.

[popcorn]

Actually thanks to Peter Jackson the old days are now in colour anyway.

[zomgmouse]

I just sit on my slices of bread till they're warm which also means that they are buttered... by my butt

Hehe, butt

[Sebastian Cobb]

I just guff on them, saves me having to put eggs or bovril on them.

[popcorn]

I just guff on them, saves me having to put eggs or bovril on them.

But if you don't eat eggs or bovril you will never guff.

[Replies From View]

Actually thanks to Peter Jackson the old days are now in colour anyway.

And they run at a more natural speed now, as well.

[Dex Sawash]

Has everyone's username always been displayed in red?

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

I think that's brown.

[Ferris]

It is burnt ochre, you philistines.

Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ochre

[petril]

it's orange. it's physically orange

[New Jack]

Orange and blue, is CaB, mofos

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

It is burnt ochre, you philistines.

Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ochre

It ranges in colour from yellow to deep orange or brown

Don't shit a shitter mate.

[Ferris]

Don't shit a shitter mate.

I despair.

[MoonDust]

What did you think the "remote" part was there for? Is it just something you never bothered to think about?

That's exactly right. Just never thought about it. Took it face value that that's its name.

[Replies From View]

We can all agree that it's not red yeah.  At least that.

[Replies From View]

What did you think the "remote" part was there for? Is it just something you never bothered to think about?

For the first 35 years of my life I thought the "light" in "many hands make light work" meant light as in brightness as opposed to the type of light that it obviously means which is not heavy or easy. Idiot.

When I was a kid there were remote controlled cars and radio controlled cars.

Remote controlled cars had a wire connecting them to the controller.  Radio controlled cars had no wire.

Here ends my TED lecture of 2018.

[MoonDust]

It's not red and it's not orange. Nor is it fully brown, though could be shit coloured. I'm inclined to agree most with Ferris.

[MoonDust]

When I was a kid there were remote controlled cars and radio controlled cars.

Remote controlled cars had a wire connecting them to the controller.  Radio controlled cars had no wire.

Here ends my TED lecture of 2018.

Me too. I also had a remote controlled plane. It couldn't fly very high.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Radio control is a subset of remote control ahh.