Allotment

[Pink Gregory]

daaaaaaamn girlfriend

what size plot is that?

NEW PAGE SOIL CUNT

[king_tubby]

It's a half plot.

[confettiinmyhair]

I've been given a plot this weekend from the city council. It's on reclaimed land. Going to take a look tomorrow.

[Mr_Simnock]

I have never had an allotment but have a reasonable size garden and my approach with plants is that I like them to be either native and good for wildlife or useful in some way eg food. One option is Jerusalem artichokes - perennial and require zero care, in fact they spread like mad and are impossible to get rid of, outcompeting any weed plants - and with the bonus of being completely inedible to boot.

get thesen some herbs

[SpiderChrist]

Got into fruit and veg growing a bit over the past couple of years. Currently have tomatoes, chillis, runners, french beans, spuds, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries and tayberries growing. The raspberries and strawberries are "wild" (we planted both in pots a couple of years ago and they've spread) and later this summer we'll have blackberries (also wild). Oh and a couple of pumpkin plants to sort out too. Yum yum.

[thenoise]

get thesen some herbs

Herbs are going nuts at the moment. And radishes. I'll have shed loads of garlic too once the leaves turn yellow.

[king_tubby]

Onion white rot has cunted all our garlic to fuck. And there's no getting rid of it.

Shit.

[bgmnts]

Gutting!

[king_tubby]

Yep, 35 bulbs. Little fungus fuck sits about until it sniffs an allium and then BLAMMO. And it can remain dormant for 15 fucking years.

I fear for the leeks.

[thenoise]

Shit!

[king_tubby]

Well at least we're getting some decent strawbs.

[Ferris]

^wanking like mad over those. Ours are still green and unimpressive

[shiftwork2]

They are some absolutely splendid strawberries.  Jealous.

[king_tubby]

Cheating a bit as these are from the front yard, the allotment ones are less impressive.

Last year they double cropped and we were still getting the odd one in early November. Planet's fucked, lads.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Growing up the 80s the allotment was always a big paedo thing, which has put me off them for life.

With a median age of 86, I can see why the allotment community would seem a happy hunting ground for pederasts

[Pink Gregory]

With a median age of 86, I can see why the allotment community would seem a happy hunting ground for pederasts

it's not the hunting ground, it's the nerve centre!

[Mr_Simnock]

I've gone allotment mad recently, taken over one recently and me and biniput have been down most weekends to sort it out. Won't be growing much this due to having to completely rebuilding most of it. Lots of rotten fence posts, green house needs saving, sheds need lots of maintenance, flags need lifting up and weed proof matting needs putting down, some planters are now in a bad state and eed fixing. Enjoying all this sorting out a load. I really need lots of cheap wood, that would be the single biggest help so this year I'll be on the facebook lookout for anyone getting rid of bits of decking\fencing etc.

[confettiinmyhair]

See if you can get some from your local tip alongside Gumtree and FB marketplace.

Also consider using cardboard to suppress weeds. You can get it quite easily.

[Buelligan]

Can I bring this lovely lad to your attention? 

He has a stupendous Youtube channel and a lot of very good books available.  Definitely looks good for Corbyn.

Just been asked to take over a new garden myself - it's a wonderful thing.