King sausage fingers has septic arse

[jamiefairlie]

it would be very easy to make the man cum

Well, Camilla, you know

[Kankurette]

I saw this on Tattle and now you must share my pain.

It's said that an older bloke can have an enlarged prostate because he doesn't empty his sack enough.
Quite how that applies to jug lugs when he was emptying his sack more than Santa on Xmas eve, I have no idea.

[Mr Eggs]

1 wank a day for healthy prostate. Give him the money for the adverts now.



With a glove on and a banana.

[dissolute ocelot]

Isn't prostate surgery often the end of a man's ability to get it up? Imagine if no more Charles rampaging satyr-like round Sandringham sticking it in every orifice like Bart Simpson with the skeleton key. Without the lust that drives him, he'll be dead in a month.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Isn't prostate surgery often the end of a man's ability to get it up? Imagine if no more Charles rampaging satyr-like round Sandringham sticking it in every orifice like Bart Simpson with the skeleton key. Without the lust that drives him, he'll be dead in a month.

His Majesty will simply take one of these each morning:

[idunnosomename]

THE SUN SAYS: CLAP FOR THE KING'S BUTTHOLE

[Shaxberd]

Official line from the palace: "entirely routine stuff, nothing to worry about"

Daily Mail: "OMG JUG EARS' BUM MIGHT EXPLODE AT ANY MINUTE!"

Impossible to ever really know the state of a Royal Family member's health given that anything short of being certified dead is described as not a big deal.

[gilbertharding]

It's funny because in every single photo of Sir Prince Charles, his face looks exactly how you'd imagine it would if someone was down below with a cheeky finger up his Arris.

[Butchers Blind]

THE SUN SAYS: CLAP FOR THE KING'S BUTTHOLE

FFS!! Thousands dying in Gaza but yeah, these two.

[Kankurette]

If I was going to pray for something, it wouldn't be the royal anus.

[Butchers Blind]

Slam your toilet lids at 7pm for the King.

[Norton Canes]

Keep reading this as an 'enraged' prostate

[Langdale]

He's doing that thing where he's had a wank, and then after having a wee he's not massaged his perineum over the toilet to fully get the semen out of his pipes so he has that weird discomfort where it sort of feels like he needs a piss but it just generally feels uncomfortable, sources say.

Incredible. I think this is the first time I've seen public acknowledgement of this phenomena.

[gilbertharding]

If I was going to pray for something, it wouldn't be the royal anus.

This'll be the Anus horribilis her late majesty mentioned in 1992 or whenever it was (always with the common touch, those Battenbergs, eh?)

[Paul Calf]

He probably has a manservant for it.

"MUM! MUM! I MADE IT! I'M KING CHARLES' CHIEF RIMMING BUTLER! TOP OF THE WORLD MA!"

[curiousoranges]

He's getting his lizard blood replaced.

[Blue Jam]

It's funny because in every single photo of Sir Prince Charles, his face looks exactly how you'd imagine it would if someone was down below with a cheeky finger up his Arris.

...or like the Spice Girls are pinching his bum again.

[BlodwynPig]

Where are the "The King is dead..." threads?

[beanheadmcginty]

Shocked and disappointed that none of you so-called royalists celebrated the 5th anniversary of Phil cunting his Range Rover into a pleb yesterday.

[Oz Oz Alice]

It's a sad and fascinating day in anyone's life when your prostate becomes enraged. Last time it happened to me it was because in some particularly outrageous Grindr shenanigans a cockatoo (no jokes please) had nested up there having flown in through a carelessly opem window. As it kept pecking at the penises of my visitors I had to coax it out by squatting over a mirror I had placed some goldfish crackers on. My prostate was incandescent and we haven't spoke since. My sex life is in ruins and for what reason?

[idunnosomename]

Shocked and disappointed that none of you so-called royalists celebrated the 5th anniversary of Phil cunting his Range Rover into a pleb yesterday.

it's funny how the pleb he cunted ended up getting done on a bunch of other motoring offences

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-48438702

no idea what the fuck "failing to identify a driver accused of a speeding offence" is

[BlodwynPig]

Thoughts and Prayers for a speedy recovery

[Clatty McCutcheon]

no idea what the fuck "failing to identify a driver accused of a speeding offence" is

I think it means that a car registered in her name was caught speeding but she refused to say who was driving it at the time.

[Zero Gravitas]

Valet de chambre, waiting outside the door, overhearing Charles berate his equipment:
"Piss you bastard! Piss!"

[dissolute ocelot]

"Enlarged prostate searches surge after King's diagnosis"

Now imagining everyone's sticking their fingers up each other's bums.

Or possibly "enlarged searches" means they're also checking behind the tonsils.

[Blue Jam]

Poor Phil, he must be so stressed right now.

[Blue Jam]

Valet de chambre, waiting outside the door, overhearing Charles berate his equipment:
"Piss you bastard! Piss!"

Reckon he has a flunky to hold it for him?

[Zero Gravitas]

He doesn't hold it all the way though, he just does the shake and dab at the end.

Not sure who does the swift jab to the perineum bit to force the last drop out though, maybe it's down to mood?

[Blue Jam]

There's been some speculation that Kate's had a nervous breakdown, possibly caused with William treating her like crap and going upsettingly bald:

https://www.celebitchy.com/854112/levin_prince_william_took_care_of_his_mother_so_he_can_look_after_kate/

Angela Levin isn't just another "royal expert", she's one of Camilla's nasty friends and flying monkeys who plant stories. There could be some sneaky letting of a cat out of a bag here, or it may just be a bit more shit-stirring by Are Gracious Queen.

I have been wondering if this could be perimenopause-related. I'm Kate's age and "nervous breakdown" is how I'd describe my symptoms. If that's the case then I genuinely feel sorry for her, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Could all be baws of course. My money's still on an exorcism.

[dissolute ocelot]

Maybe she's got rabies and that's why they can't visit her. Bit by a rabid horse.

If it's true that Wills has only visited her once and the kids haven't been, then that seems surprising, although possibly not for the Windsors and of course maybe it's not true. Maybe they're too busy playing Prince Of Persia.