Coffee bastard

[Incy Wincy Mincey]

I don't mean to disparage baristas but I'm confused as to how one could be better than the next? Bean selection, roasting etc fair enough, but making it in one of those machines they have looks to be a piece of piss. What am I missing?


If you buy your machine from Richer Sounds that's a no-no.

Richer Grounds.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I quite fancy him to be honest.

[Magnum Valentino]

Knew this sounded familiar - this isn't the first time someone's started a thread about him

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=94104.0

[Cuellar]

Does he do the the thing where you give your beans a little spray of water before grinding them, I've seen that on coffee wankers Instagram

[Jerzy Bondov]

That genuinely works and is worth doing, it makes way less mess.

[Milo]

I enjoy making and drinking coffee.

[Butchers Blind]

Coffee bastards can be filed alongside wine wankers.

[Urinal Cake]

Coffee bastards can be filed alongside wine wankers.

It's easy to shit on anybody who is passionate about a hobby that you have little interest in. But it's food and drink- it's ephemeral, it's passive. Like I guess grinding and brewing coffee is some sort of activity.

[Gurke and Hare]

literally anyone: "here's a way to even slightly improve your coffee"

Pour it down the sink and have a nice drink instead?

Wasn't there a "bubble tea is s4c" thread about a week ago? Or was that an old one I found when I was searching for something?

[touchingcloth]

Knew this sounded familiar - this isn't the first time someone's started a thread about him

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=94104.0

Curse you @holyzombiejesus for infecting my Youtube recommendations. Curse you. I hope you get all grinded up and steeped by bastards at a needlessly precise temperature and for a needlessly precise length of time.

Does he do the the thing where you give your beans a little spray of water before grinding them, I've seen that on coffee wankers Instagram

Someone should do the thing where they give him a little spray of piss before dropkicking him into an industrial shredder.

[Goldentony]

I love coffee so much I shag its arse john you should see me im unstoppable until I blow off and then im stoppable

[Goldentony]

these repellent twats and their bastard devices going around

[Goldentony]

some hidden agenda

[madhair60]

Pour it down the sink and have a nice drink instead?

why don't you drink a full-to-the-brim thermos of dog cum?

[Gurke and Hare]

why don't you drink a full-to-the-brim thermos of dog cum?

Because I don't drink coffee so there's no need for me to get the taste out of my mouth with something less unpleasant.

[madhair60]

and he states, with the authority of experience: dog semen tastes better to me than coffee

each to their own my canine cum chugging friend

[mechanical blood goat]

I enjoy making and drinking coffee.

No no, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to get really really angry about other people enjoying things or having haircuts or not just making do with a cup of good old British ditchwater and a shard of roof tile like we did in the Blitz.

[madhair60]

No no, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to get really really angry about other people enjoying things or having haircuts or not just making do with a cup of good old British ditchwater and a shard of roof tile like we did in the Blitz.

so much this

[touchingcloth]

All this coffee nonsense! You get all these coffee people, don't you? Cold brew this, shat out of a weasel that. Let's have a bit of black, let's have a bit of flat white. Ooh, that's a snazzy bouquet. Oh, this smells of, I don't know, quiffs. Sometimes you just want to say, sod all this coffee, just give me a pint of... boba for cunts.

[Butchers Blind]

Starbucks and other chain coffee houses are basically taking the rise with all that nonsense on their menus. Just serve it black and hot.

[Cuellar]

Definitely going the other way now, with all the hipster coffee places that I frequent only having 'BLACK' or 'WHITE' up behind the bar.

[phes]

No no, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to get really really angry about other people enjoying things or having haircuts or not just making do with a cup of good old British ditchwater and a shard of roof tile like we did in the Blitz.

he's a weird target for all that tbh. He's obviously a total coffee geek but he's pretty unwankery about it. Obviously it's mostly in service of growing a YouTube channel and his business, but half his stuff is about how not to get caught up in bollocks and waste your money on stuff you don't need and coffee that tastes like shit to you

[Zero Gravitas]

I once had a pu'erh I didn't like...

Perfectly rational.

This guy gets it in the neck...

CALM DOWN TEA-HEADS!

https://meileaf.com/article/coronavirus-advice/

[The Crumb]

I learned everything I need to know about coffee from this cheerful chappy

[Cuellar]

We're getting shrinkflationed on coffee now, have you seen this? Used to be 227g in bags (never known why, but we inherited a coffee jar from a Dutch relative that must have been from the 50s or something and 227g fit perfectly in it and I wouldn't put it past the Dutch to have been the ones who set this standard) and now you're seeing 200g bags as standard.

[Norton Canes]

227g = ½lb. So really, it's nice we're now getting a more rounded metric number. I'd gladly pay the price of 27g of coffee for the privilege.

[The Mollusk]

coffee

[madhair60]

coffee

this!

[The Mollusk]

I'm gonna be up on the stage, drinking my own bean, hard

[Cuellar]

227g = ½lb. So really, it's nice we're now getting a more rounded metric number. I'd gladly pay the price of 27g of coffee for the privilege.

Suspected it would be something like this.

But they're not rounding us UP to 250g are they!!!