What made up names have you given to your neighbourhood cats

[Vodkafone]

We have two on the go:

Terrible Ian

Possibly feral, scrawny, lopsided, torn ear. But what Terrible Ian lacks in physical prowess and presence (which is a lot), he more than makes up for in balls-out 'fuck the lot of you' attitude. He has managed to expand his kingdom to many gardens, which he spends all day mooching about in, pissing and shitting on and generally giving it all that. You can almost hear all the catflaps clattering shut when he appears, as all the local cats go "Shit, it's Ian!"

Henge

Stocky grey shorthair. Has chunky but strangely long legs and a stubby tail, so if it is standing and you are side-on to it, it looks like a henge.

[mippy]

Bob Hoskins - stocky black and white fella with a white tip on the tail that likes to prowl our road.

[king_tubby]

There was a young cat up the road who liked to hang out in our yard and house, called Rufus.

Except he wasn't called Rufus, when my partner asked his owner what he was called she assumed she meant her toddler not the cat and that lead to some embarrassment on the local cat Facebook group a few weeks later...

Anyway, there used to be an unspayed male stray locally who was known as 'Scrapyard Dog' cos he was so gnarly and fought everything. A lovely end to this story, he was taken in, de-balled and lived out his remaining years in luxury with people on the next street.

[king_tubby]

There's also 'No Tail' (real name Millie) named because, um, she has no tail. Not a Manx though, lost in an accident.

[Terry Torpid]

Cunt Cat

The fucker is always having a go at the birds on my birdfeeder. I've tried hanging it higher, but Cunt Cat always finds a way. I can't find a spot that isn't next to a wall or a tree which could serve as a jumping off point.

The cunt also sets off my motion-sensor security camera, which sends an alert to my phone, so about five times a day I momentarily think villains are scoping the house. It's bad enough when I'm away, but it's actually worse when I'm at home, because if I can't see anyone out the window, it can't be the gas man or a courier, so it must be prowlers sneaking around, and they're about to break in and bugger me. Then I check the live feed and it's that fucking cat. Cunt Cat, the cunt.

[JesusAndYourBush]

We called a neighbours cat Hitler because he had a Hitler moustache.

[touchingcloth]

Satan
Epstein
Jimmy

[Kankurette]

Sean Dyche, a large and horrible ginger and white tom who looks like the raspy-voiced Everton manager and hangs out in my garden. He even came into my house once, which is why I have an electronic cat flap. Gary hates him - I think he's the cat who beat Gary up. One time Gary frightened the life out of me when he saw Sean Dyche in the garden and screeched. He always looks at me insolently when I shout at him to fuck off.

When my parents were in Cottenham, their neighbours had a black and white cat who I called Bob. Bob was Smudge's archnemesis. I think he died after he ate a rubber, the berk.

[dr beat]

Bastard

[Norton Canes]

That Cat - Seems to think walking along our dry stone wall is a skill we should applaud

That Other Cat - Polite, will bring mice if given ham

[Rev+]

Linford because my references to sportspeople are just that current.  I generally like all cats but he can fucking do one.  He'll be sat on the low wall out the front of his house, and when he spots me he decides that we're having a race.  I've entered into no contract so don't break pace, so he'll stop every few houses for me to catch up, before bolting again.  When we reach the end of the course - where the road intersects with another, busier one, which he's clearly scared by, the big pussy - he'll pivot around and slowly walk back past me, as smug as a cat can look, happy in another win.  Cunt.

When I was a teenager there was a neighbourhood cat called, imaginatively, Hopalong, on account of having a front leg missing.  I know the reasoning behind putting a bell on a cat's collar, but the owners could have given her a pass for that one.  Must have driven the poor little bugger mad.

[touchingcloth]

Do That Again and I'll Kick Your Cunt In

Two cats.

[BlodwynPig]

King Tubby for obvious reasons
Mippy - doesn't meow but mips, think it has a lisp

[king_tubby]

King Tubby for obvious reasons

Oh and why's that then?

[Captain Z]

Guggle Nunny and Bumpy Tanna

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

We initially called him Grumpy Cat, because he would hiss at us if we got remotely close. Later on, his owner stopped being able to look after him, so Grumpy Cat changed tack and tried to make friends with us and was renamed Jolly Roger. Didn't stop him from shitting all over our garden.

[Vodkafone]

Guggle Nunny and Bumpy Tanna

YESSSS!!!!!!!

[madhair60]

i don't name random cats i see

[Sarnie Rudeboy]

Handsome Paul

[BlodwynPig]

Madhair, for obvious reasons.

[touchingcloth]

Terri Schiavmeow

[studpuppet]

We discovered one of our cats (Pasha) had been going into the house five doors up from our house, when the bloke that lived there saw us outside our front door with him. "Yeah, he's been coming in and sitting by the fireplace with us. We call him Gary..."

[Dex Sawash]

No outdoor cats here, the coyotes eat them. Have named the deer. One with the broken foreleg that sticks out straight forward is "Stumpy" (after Stumpy off Carnivale) the albino one is "Whitey" and the spotted baby ones are all "Steve Freeman"

[Pink Gregory]

Scragglecat - old, skeletal black cat with creaky meow.  Definitely now dead soon.

Prick Cat - big ginger and white tom with a shitty expression.  Self explanatory.

[Dr Trouser]

Negative Geoff - exact copy of a cat we used to have called Geoff, except he's the inverse colouring. Also doesn't have a very positive attitude

[Russ L]

Babbycat
Big Sylvia
Little Sylvia
Funny Lookin'
Pointyface
Wideface
Strangetail

Not particularly funny but all genuine.

[curiousoranges]

We call our neighbours' cat Chonk because it's a little fatty.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Scout's Friend, because it comes and looks at our cat Scout through the window.

My mum has one that gets into her house and she calls it BIG BOY.

[Shaxberd]

Gingernuts - massive orange lad that likes to sit directly on top of the storm drain in my back yard and sunbathe.

[hamfist]

Tripod, the 3 legged cat