WeFuckAnyCar.com

[The Mollusk]

DO NOT USE THIS SERVICE

Accidentally ended up on this website instead of the one where they buy your car (can't remember the name of it), absolutely fucking aghast at the scene that erupted outside my house this morning. Neighbours looking out the window, they know it's my car, they think I did it on purpose.

CANNOT BLOODY BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED

All I did was stick my details in for a quote and 45 mins later no questions asked there's a guy outside my gaff going hell for leather on the motor. They didn't even want the MOT service history or anything, seems like they literally will fuck any car.

DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID

Car's a write off now. The car buying website won't touch it. Display on the dashboard has all the hazard signs and "ASHAMED OF MYSELF" flashing on and off. Engine is flooded and I don't think I need to tell you with what. Fucking spank handprints on the rear bumper but I suppose that's the least of my worries, just adds insult to injury though really.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION WHEN TRYING TO SELL A CAR ON THE INTERNET, SOMEONE MAY END UP COMING ROUND AND SHAGGING IT

[non capisco]

I mean, it's an easy mistake to make, both businesses are advertised by Phillip Schofield.

[The Mollusk]

I mean, it's an easy mistake to make, both businesses are advertised by Phillip Schofield.

Yeah but he's only STARK BOLLOCK NAKED in one of the ads isn't he?? I know you're trying to make me feel better but I really have cocked up here I reckon. Seems really obvious now.

[non capisco]

Yeah but he's only STARK BOLLOCK NAKED in one of the ads isn't he??

He is fucking a car in both, though.

[Glebe]

David Cronenberg enters thread intrigued.

[The Mollusk]

Weird that the back seat is relatively unscathed. Must be some sort of irony in that, it can't be unintentional. They're having a fucking laugh

[Twit 2]

lovely bloke, fucks his car

[Glebe]

[The Mollusk]

Brum is, I am reliably informed, "a goer".

[shoulders]

lovely bloke, fucks his car

Loves his kids, works hard



Car fucked

[The Mollusk]

Reckon anthropomorphised cars might actually be a turn-off for car shaggers, bit of an insult to assume they want some visual form of sentience or humanity to help get them going. It's not the clip on eyelashes on the headlights mate it's the fffnnnn, the ffffucking ... nnnnnn it's the depth of the GRIP on the TYRES

[Glebe]

Brum is, I am reliably informed, "a goer".

Yes, he has a reputation for being a bit of a vehicular lothario!

[shoulders]

On my mum's insurance I'm fine to fuck ANY car

[The Mollusk]

Yes, he has a reputation for being a bit of a vehicular lothario!

The phrase "young, dumb and full of Brum cum" was a phrase quite openly bandied about in the Beeb and Ragdoll offices back in the day. It was a different time.

[The Mollusk]

Just a small handful of the people who have had relations with Brum over the years.

[The Mollusk]

It was said that when in Brum's company, if he gave you the "Brum-to-bed eyes" you were helpless to try and resist his advances.

[Glebe]

It was a different time.

This old chestnut. You can't keep separating the art from the sentient pest car.

[Huxleys Babkins]

#justice4tilly

[pancreas]

YMMV. Mine is fucking gasping for it, day and night. Was pleased to have a day off.

[Glebe]

[popcorn]

[pancreas]

Well I would, I don't know about the others.

[The Mollusk]

Fuck, you got me.

[MrsWarboysLover]

I might drop a CV in, I wouldn't mind being sent out on a job if I could run into the girl car from Cars, phwoaaar

[pancreas]

I don't think you get to pick and choose. 'WeFuckAnyCar.com'

[Glebe]

RE: Brum, he allegedly had a fling with series narrator Toyah. It came to an unfortunate conclusion when his wife discovered them at it in the garage.



Then there was his short-lived football career. As a reserve for West Bromwich Albion, he was overpaid, committed some career-ending fouls and was finally sacked when he was papped romping in a Dudley hotel room with two VW Beetles.

[The Mollusk]

That last pic is deffo one for Up The Arse Corner

[idunnosomename]

fucking HELL

[The Mollusk]

"Feel my wheels and put my hubs there" roars drunken sentient pest car

[Glebe]

Love the jingle for this, 'We fuck any car dot com!' You'll be watching GOLD or Drama or that in the afternoon and that ad comes on, always cheers me up!