Trenterpercenter's Real to Life Fully Operational Anus

[TrenterPercenter]

Hi guys,

So I'm been thinking and there is a gap in the market.  We've all heard of those toys the pornstars have made of their bits and that.  Well I've gone and made a toy of my own anus, only mine is fully operational as in it does really smelly farts and poos as well.  You can't choose when the poos and guffs happen as it is real to life staying true to my advertising claim.

So yeah I've got my prototype and I'm looking for investors.  Just think for £500 quid you could own a share of my anus.  Who wants in?

[madhair60]

I already own your ass

[Glebe]

Glebe Industries are working on a prototype arse as we speak!

[Fambo Number Mive]

Dragon's Den are taking submissions. Imagine Peter Jones recoiling as a smelly guff comes from your toy arse.

[TrenterPercenter]

Guys, we've ran into a few problems with the prototype, the main one being it appears to have become sentient and is refusing to poo or fart saying the terms and conditions of its contract are demeaning and discriminatory.  It's going to take me and Madhair to a works tribunal apparently.

Has this ever happened to anyone else before? Anyone know any good solicitors that practice in anus law?

This is not the start I had envisioned for the business if I'm honest.

[TrenterPercenter]

Update on my sentient anus works tribunal.

In short it looks like an out of court settlement is on the cards.  I hoped I could have avoided paying damages to my own anus on the grounds of intellectual property but it turns out you can't copyright your own arse!

Quite worried this sentient anus of mine is going to clean me out leaving me the only option of donning a superhero costume and climbing Westminster in protest.  Got a meeting with Glebe Industries later to discuss options.....

[Glebe]

Dragon's Den are taking submissions. Imagine Peter Jones recoiling as a smelly guff comes from your toy arse.

[TrenterPercenter]

OK back from Glebe Industries^TM and we think we've got a plan!  So whilst we can't actually patent the arse itself, I do actually own the farts and poo that reside within it still.  Essentially this sentient anus (that is referring to itself as "Ken" apparently) is on borrowed time, any emissions would equate to illegally handling property of my own anus.

It's just a waiting game now lads.

[Replies From View]

Excellent, so presumably you'll be selling jars of shit to children as the main thing of this.

[TrenterPercenter]

Excellent, so presumably you'll be selling jars of shit to children as the main thing of this.

Ken is more like a rudimentary Boglin than a jar, but yes technically shit and farts are part of the business model, though I stress our market is not kids this is a grown up anus for grown ups.

If I'm honest this is why I wasn't keen on having you on the board Replies, I mean who refers to their anus as a jar? It's so uncouth

"Ooof I've just opened a jar of eggs"
"I'm just going to rinse the cookie jar out"
"me go Jar Jar Plops now"

Why can't you be more like Glebe? You could learn a lot about anuses from him.

[Glebe]

Are there any Chaos Emeralds up this anus 'cos Ferris is on a nab!

[Ferris]

Checked earlier: not a sniff of it so you're all clear.