DESOLATION_V.swf

[Bazooka]

A ghost begs Derek Achorah not to shine a torch on his willy.

[petril]

school careers talk from a guy who sells football match videos via YouTube

[the midnight watch baboon]

A puddle shows Stu his baldness and missing tooth whilst he dances a jig.

[touchingcloth]

Dad uses sellotape to hang himself.

[pancreas]

Dad uses sellotape to hang himself.

None left for Mum. His final revenge.

[poo]

Lembit Opik

[Cuellar]

HISTORY DESO:

An Oxfordshire carpenter's rebellion against crooked landowners comes to nothing when only 4 people turn up.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Over and over and over and over and over

Like a monkey branded with a racist symbol

[the midnight watch baboon]

A Thorpe Park map, circa 1987, log flume obscured by anonymous discharge.

[petril]

millions spent and the new sports franchise logo is basically that of a 70s council supplier

[PlanktonSideburns]

HISTORY DESO:

A Gallile Carpenter's son rebellion against crooked romans comes to nothing when only 4 people turn up for his crucifixion.

[Lordofthefiles]

Nigel Farage gives the hair on his remaining testicle a side-parting and has a little chuckle to himself.

[petril]

a new venture in buying the rights to a defunct council logo to use on various apparel and merchandise

[Cuntbeaks]

An atrophyied leg is forced into an arsehole.

Carol Decker argues with a minimum wage checkout operator over the cost of a plastic bag.

A sweating gammon fist slams a Wetherspoons Large Breakfast when he realises the tomato is slightly undercooked. AGAIN.

[the midnight watch baboon]

A smoking in pregnancy cessation officer is made redundant after bosses concur 'she's pissing in the wind, eh fellas' in their district.

[touchingcloth]

To celebrate Brexit, every citizen is compelled to take part in the Great British Bake Off.

[Bum Flaps]

After watching the news, Barry tries and fails to pre-order Tom Watson's forthcoming weight loss book from the labour party website.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A bellicose seat upholsterer wails with every poisoned bowel movement, of which there are many.

[Cuntbeaks]

A giro that is meant to last a fortnight is spent within the hour on a chip shop fruit machine. The £5 jackpot is not forthcoming.

A morbidly obese neckbeard develops a taste for chip pan lard, on the side.

Ray Mears smashes a £40,000 camera lens after a boom operator eats the last slice of a Dr Oetkers Ristorante Pizza Pollo.

[poo]

A decoy blowjob goblin unwinds in front of MOTD2

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A fey Ladbrokes shunt-droid rails at the insult 'Faglin', directed at him by the permanent staff working there.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Raj realises he has made a gross error in judgement re the molecular build up of a seaweed burger after it bleats in agony above the white hot coals of a plant-based barbecue.

[Ferris]

Stone Cold Steve Austin's pub quiz team finishes last.

[touchingcloth]

"Smell this," your dad says. He's lapsed back fingering himself.

[pancreas]

The picture round on University Challenge is about types of doggo.

[Ferris]

The picture round on University Challenge is about types of doggo.

"Bueller, Selwyn College, Cambridge"

"smol?"

"No, I'm afraid you lose 5 points. Anyone? Come on? ...The answer was "longboi", your next starter for ten on frog memes..."

#1 RATINGS SMASH

[poo]

Paul Ross manically spoons weetabix into a paper mache arse

[poo]

Thunder roars, lights flicker, and crows scatter as Lembit Opik ejaculates onto the face of a gruffalo.

[buttgammon]

The Lib Dem-Plaid Cymru electoral pact breaks down after a Lib Dem candidate is caught molesting a dragon.

[Gregory Torso]

An inconclusive testicle examination coincides with some very conclusive diarrhoea.