Cricket 2019

[The Boston Crab]

You gone too far, bud.

[king_tubby]

You Australian? Your posts smell Australian. EAT A BOWL OF DOGSHIT.

[The Boston Crab]

Someone stop this guy. He's gone full Cricket 2019.

[Inspector Norse]

Some NEW NAMES in the England squad to face Ireland in their, let's face it, Ashes warm-up game.

Roy we all saw coming. Could come off like Warner did for the Aussies, could get found out quickly.
Gregory has really good first class stats: he can bat and is picking up wickets like a human pooperscooper right now, and I've not seen him play but have read he's a bit of a Stokesy "inspiration" kind of guy. Might be better suited to the short-form games to begin with.
Stone might play, but he's third choice fast man behind Archer and Wood surely. They seem really obsessed with finding guys who can bowl very fast but they only really need one in the team, I think, and that should be Archer when the Ashes roll around.

Difficult to know what they'll learn from the Ireland game, though. Ireland are all good pros but they're a county-level team really. Either England will gain confidence that could turn out to be misplaced when they come up against a serious test side, or they'll get embarrassed.

I expect we'll seeing an Ashes team like this, though Christ knows which order 5-7 will come in:

Burns
Roy
Denly
Root
Stokes
Bairstow
Buttler
Ali
Archer
Broad
Anderson

Denly is probably first man to be dropped unless he scores big this series. They should have words with Moeen and Broad and say that if they don't both perform, then they're out in favour of Woakes/Curran and Leach. It'd need to be a double change as just bringing in Leach for Moeen would mean Broad batting 9.

[sevendaughters]

Archer not in the Ashes camp, but Wood is.

[Inspector Norse]

Archer's been given time off to visit his family and have a sit down.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Just went to see the documentary The Edge tonight.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/cricket/2019/07/16/edge-film-review-cricketers-shown-fragile-best-leave-wondering/

Pretty much agree with this review. It focuses on the team building aspects through glimpses of interview insight mixed with camera phone footage of training, media interviews, backroom stuff and relevant in-game clips. We see how Flower was the perfect appointment at the time, but also how his approach burned everyone out. We hear Flower admitting to his weaknesses. They delve into the private torment of players in a way that is really well edited considering how it has to cram a lot in.

Some of the intra-team relationships, and fallings out are hinted at rather than spoken about outright. Some of the peripheral players are included which is nice (though weirdly Tremlett is excluded as though he wasn't there).

It is really a documentary about the fragile balance of team management, how you structure goals, how you reach a destination, and completely what not to do after that. Flower created a self-contained entity and the transition, along with the psychological management of those within that entity was woefully mismanaged. Or was it - you do wonder with Flower, such a sadist, that he would almost enjoy breaking things down to start over again.

One of the most insightful parts SPOILER is Prior stating that in a way the obsession with becoming number 1 made a lot of them, by requirement, not very nice people, and expresses his doubts whether it is possible to reach that level without becoming someone you and others don't like very much.  /SPOILER

The Australians are edited to make themselves look like utter wankers (not difficult in some cases), and the documentary was followed by a Q&A where the only real highlight was James Anderson stating "I hadn't thought about the subject for a while but it reminded me just how much I hate Australians."

[PowerButchi]

Archer is injured.

I'd like to see YJB as a new Alec Stewart, opening and keeping. Toblerone Jones is a glaring omission from the test 16. He's hitting form at just the right time, averages single figures with the ball over the past few weeks (EDIT: It's 10.25). A better shout than Lewis Gregory for me, Aggers.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah and while he was playing he proved he could hack it.

Anyway, long series ahead.

[poo]

2 WEEKS TODAY

[king_tubby]

First day of the women's Ashes and those Australians are gonna get dogshit pie all over their VD cardigans.

[EOLAN]

First day of the women's Ashes and those Australians are gonna get dogshit pie all over their VD cardigans.

Only first day of a women's Ashes test; not the actual Ashes series. Those Sheila's are already six points to nil up in the League table.

[MiddleRabbit]

I know I'm a dinosaur and all that, but women's cricket is fucking shit.

Women's football doesn't seem much worse than men's football, in fact, some of it seems much more palatable - the better behaviour of the players primarily.  I don't object to Megan Rapahoe, she just seems a bit American in terms of her total lack of self awareness and that's not restricted to women, is it?  Fair dos, but I can't be arsed.

But cricket?  The batting's not too bad, except they can't hit it very far and the boundaries being brought so far in is a bit crappy.  The fielding is almost always appalling but it's the bowling that really stinks.  The 'fast' bowling is fucking embarrassing.  Not even up to a decent amateur status - the test teams' fast bowling looks to be about fourth division amateur status.

Oh, and as bad as a lot of the commentary is on Sky - the men, I mean - the women they get on make the likes of Nasser Hussain and Michael Clarke sound insightful.

So yeah, chicks and cricket, eh?  Pfff.  I'll get back to the 18th century now, thanks for your time.

[gilbertharding]

I know I'm a dinosaur and all that, but women's cricket is fucking shit.

Women's football doesn't seem much worse than men's football, in fact, some of it seems much more palatable - the better behaviour of the players primarily.  I don't object to Megan Rapahoe, she just seems a bit American in terms of her total lack of self awareness and that's not restricted to women, is it?  Fair dos, but I can't be arsed.

But cricket?  The batting's not too bad, except they can't hit it very far and the boundaries being brought so far in is a bit crappy.  The fielding is almost always appalling but it's the bowling that really stinks.  The 'fast' bowling is fucking embarrassing.  Not even up to a decent amateur status - the test teams' fast bowling looks to be about fourth division amateur status.

Oh, and as bad as a lot of the commentary is on Sky - the men, I mean - the women they get on make the likes of Nasser Hussain and Michael Clarke sound insightful.

So yeah, chicks and cricket, eh?  Pfff.  I'll get back to the 18th century now, thanks for your time.

It's quite good if you listen to it on the radio.

[poo]

What a cunt

[king_tubby]

Only first day of a women's Ashes test; not the actual Ashes series. Those Sheila's are already six points to nil up in the League table.

Oh aye, forgot the women's game is also run by lice ridden livestock rapists with weeping sores all over their sexual organs.

[king_tubby]

T20's back and the Worcestershire Bearfuckers are shitting HIV into the mouthes of the Nottinghamshire Nonce-enablers.

[king_tubby]

Hales now spunking gak snot in to Worcestershire hog's eyes.

[king_tubby]

Fucked him now, mind. Right up his arse.

[poo]

Sorry no one cares about county cricket

[king_tubby]

You wesel.

[king_tubby]

Big Fat Samit now in to tear these bears a complete new AIDShole.

[king_tubby]

Worcestershire Ra-PAEDS reverse fuck big fat Samit in every orifice.

[poo]

Relax a bit.

[king_tubby]

Relax my BALLS.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Big news tonight guys, Croatia and Morocco have been thrown out of the ICC for non-compliance. There'll be tears on the Dalmatian coast Slaven


Also Zimbabwe government interference somethingsomething

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/27216480/we-had-good-party-one-cricket-greatest-games-martin-guptill

In case you couldn't like New Zealand anymore ^

Imagine India in this situation. The BCCI still would have been filing their lawsuit against ICC to get the result overturned.

Instead: "we got over it pretty quickly" "realised we were part of one of the greatest games in cricket history"

Amazing. How to be men.

[king_tubby]

Piss those hobbit raping cunts right in their clap ridden tits, they fucked the Maoris and now they're fucking you right in the ear and laughing whilst they do it. You penile wart.

[king_tubby]

Apologies for last night, I'd been drinking.

You smelly dildos.

[sevendaughters]

nice interview by Guptill that. I'm set to leave Worcester by the end of 2019 so I might plop down a few quid to see him tonk it about while I can.