Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => General Bullshit => Topic started by: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 08:18:37 PM

Title: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 08:18:37 PM
I love crisps but hardly ever eat them. Not sure why.

I read somewhere that prawn cocktail crisps get their flavour from some phosphorus compound! Isn't that wonderful?

Worcester sauce crisps are my favourite.

You can talk about Doritos and Wotsits and all of those things too if you want.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 08:21:11 PM
They don't even sell crisps anymore
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 25, 2016, 08:25:39 PM
These days, if you buy crisps you get arrested and thrown in jail.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 08:25:52 PM
Prawn cocktail crisps. Worcester Sauce Crisps. Doritos. Three of my least favourite things on earth. Wotsits are okay though.

I eat crisps every single day. Seabrook cheese and onion are the best but I haven't got any at the moment so have had some Walkers. A bag of cheese and onion and a bag of salt and vinegar. Eaten at the same time but not together. That's just silly.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 08:26:03 PM
What's the definition of a crisp?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on April 25, 2016, 08:27:08 PM
Pizza Hut do these now:

(https://www.pizzahut.co.uk/restaurants/r/SysSiteAssets/food/menu/starters-and-sides/crisps-with-cheese.jpg)

Like completely half arsed nachos.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 08:29:31 PM
Quote from: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 08:25:52 PM
I eat crisps every single day. Seabrook cheese and onion are the best but I haven't got any at the moment so have had some Walkers. A bag of cheese and onion and a bag of salt and vinegar. Eaten at the same time but not together. That's just silly.

What's silly is how they got the colours mixed up. GREEN for cheese and onion, BLUE for salt and vinegar, as every schoolboy knows. But not Walkers, oh no. Fucking arseholes.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 25, 2016, 08:29:44 PM
Quote from: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 08:26:03 PM
What's the definition of a crisp?

An extremely crispy thin potato slice in a bag.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: thraxx on April 25, 2016, 08:30:24 PM
Quote from: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 08:29:31 PM
What's silly is how they got the colours mixed up. GREEN for cheese and onion, BLUE for salt and vinegar, as every schoolboy knows. But not Walkers, oh no. Fucking arseholes.

THE ARROGANCE OF WALKERS
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 25, 2016, 08:32:13 PM
I had some Walkers Extreme Paprika crisps today. They were alright but not great. I'm fond of the onion ring and the cheese poof, any crisp or corn snack really. Except maybe pickled onion corn snacks which I'm not mad about but will eat if there's no other option.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 25, 2016, 08:33:48 PM
Quote from: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 08:29:31 PM
What's silly is how they got the colours mixed up. GREEN for cheese and onion, BLUE for salt and vinegar, as every schoolboy knows. But not Walkers, oh no. Fucking arseholes.

I did an extensive post about that self same subject a few years ago incorporating many pictures of salt 'n' vinegar bags of all varieties, all blue of course. Blue is the colour of salt 'n' vinegar.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 08:35:06 PM
Quote from: checkoutgirl on April 25, 2016, 08:29:44 PM
An extremely crispy thin potato slice in a bag.

Just one per bag?

What have I been eating, then?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 08:40:19 PM
If it's only one crisp then I'd expect it to be extremely large to compensate.



Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 08:48:24 PM
Quote from: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 08:40:19 PM
If it's only one crisp then I'd expect it to be extremely large to compensate.

To compensate for what?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Brundle-Fly on April 25, 2016, 08:50:28 PM
I really do miss this long discontinued flavour of Wotsits.

(http://imageshack.com/a/img922/4949/eGy0eJ.jpg)

The 1970's swimming pool vending machine maize based snack of choice.
Like all old skool, Wotsits, if you were lucky, you'd have purchased a mutant packet with those great, moist, glowing gobules of pure concentrated MSG at the bottom of the bag. Like chewing on a damp OXO cube. Bliss. Wouldn't get that with the new *spit* baked recipe.

You can have that for the next tour, Peter.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 08:50:59 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 08:48:24 PM
To compensate for what?


Compensate for the fact I only have one crisp, Ken.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 08:54:56 PM
Quote from: checkoutgirl on April 25, 2016, 08:33:48 PM
I did an extensive post about that self same subject a few years ago incorporating many pictures of salt 'n' vinegar bags of all varieties, all blue of course. Blue is the colour of salt 'n' vinegar.

It's logical, isn't it? The sheer fuckin balls on Walkers!


Quote from: Brundle-Fly on April 25, 2016, 08:50:28 PM
I really do miss this long discontinued flavour of Wotsits.

(http://imageshack.com/a/img922/4949/eGy0eJ.jpg)

The 1970's swimming pool vending machine maize based snack of choice.
Like all old skool, Wotsits, if you were lucky, you'd have purchased a mutant packet with those great, moist, glowing gobules of pure concentrated MSG at the bottom of the bag. Like chewing on a damp OXO cube. Bliss. Wouldn't get that with the new *spit* baked recipe.

You can have that for the next tour, Peter.

YEEEESSSSSS

and remember those potato puffs, or whatever they were called? Burtons, or something. Except they weren't really puffs, more like short tubes. But really nice. Especially the beef ones.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 08:57:28 PM
Quote from: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 08:29:31 PM
What's silly is how they got the colours mixed up. GREEN for cheese and onion, BLUE for salt and vinegar, as every schoolboy knows. But not Walkers, oh no. Fucking arseholes.


I agree totally. But what can I do? And you get Walkers everywhere nowadays. When I was a kid you couldn't get them in Scotland or Cumbria where I lived before moving to Yorkshire. I bought some Golden Wonder cheese and onion last week though. Green bag. As it should be.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 09:02:57 PM
Quote from: Brundle-Fly on April 25, 2016, 08:50:28 PM
I really do miss this long discontinued flavour of Wotsits.

(http://imageshack.com/a/img922/4949/eGy0eJ.jpg)

The 1970's swimming pool vending machine maize based snack of choice.
Like all old skool, Wotsits, if you were lucky, you'd have purchased a mutant packet with those great, moist, glowing gobules of pure concentrated MSG at the bottom of the bag. Like chewing on a damp OXO cube. Bliss. Wouldn't get that with the new *spit* baked recipe.

You can have that for the next tour, Peter.

Nonsense. Rancheros were THE after-swim snack. They sure taste like bacon.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Dr Rock on April 25, 2016, 09:06:22 PM
I can't remember who it was, but someone did a short film or something trying to get someone from Walkers to explain why they had the brass neck to have their salt 'n' vinegar crisps in a green bag while everyone else agreed blue was appropriate, and do you know what the man from Walker's said? Nothing, he just ran him over in a big posh car!!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: amnesiac on April 25, 2016, 09:10:09 PM
tell you what though the state of McCoys these days! I remember when they used to be thick! THICK AS A MAN COCK now they're these horrible weedy girl crisp thanks to the Euro! NO THANK YOU CAMERON
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 09:17:01 PM
Quote from: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 08:57:28 PM

I agree totally. But what can I do? And you get Walkers everywhere nowadays. When I was a kid you couldn't get them in Scotland or Cumbria where I lived before moving to Yorkshire. I bought some Golden Wonder cheese and onion last week though. Green bag. As it should be.

Cumbria, eh? Where in Cumbria?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: poo on April 25, 2016, 09:17:35 PM
One of the best things I did was wrap my foreskin around a wotsit so it was holding the wotsit and walk into a room where my mates were with my cock out and say would anyone like a crisp. We still laugh about that now we do, me and the lads.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Gulftastic on April 25, 2016, 09:18:57 PM
Straight cut Seabrooks cheese 'n' onion were the daddy. Especially when they didn't have foil bags like Walkers, presumably to keep costs down. They used to pretend it was for other reasons by putting 'SEE WHAT YOU ARE BUYING!' on the packet.

Also, in my teen years, I was a big fan of 'Wheelz', especially the 'mexican spice' flavour. Massive bags. I used to buy one nearly every dinner time.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: grassbath on April 25, 2016, 09:37:52 PM
Tyrrell's mixed root vegetable crisps are nice but a waste of money.

Is my thought on crisps.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 09:55:09 PM
Quote from: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 09:17:01 PM
Cumbria, eh? Where in Cumbria?

Carlisle. My sister and niece still live there.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 10:09:31 PM
Quote from: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 08:50:59 PM
Compensate for the fact I only have one crisp, Ken.

If you don't use your crisps as umbrellas why would a massive one be good.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 10:16:47 PM
Quote from: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 09:55:09 PM
Carlisle. My sister and niece still live there.

Nice place. I'm a Whitehaven marra.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 10:19:46 PM
Quote from: Brundle-Fly on April 25, 2016, 08:50:28 PM
I really do miss this long discontinued flavour of Wotsits.

(http://imageshack.com/a/img922/4949/eGy0eJ.jpg)

What gets me is that there are people posting on this very forum who aren't even old enough to remember crisp packets with real plastic windows.  They've only ever known foil wrappers.

I'm blaming youth but they're most likely stupid as well.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blue Jam on April 25, 2016, 10:32:41 PM
Quote from: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 08:25:52 PM
A bag of cheese and onion and a bag of salt and vinegar. Eaten at the same time but not together. That's just silly.

(http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/fatherted/images/8/8a/Dougal.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110426181320)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Dr Rock on April 25, 2016, 10:34:01 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 10:19:46 PM
What gets me is that there are people posting on this very forum who aren't even old enough to remember crisp packets with real plastic windows.  They've only ever known foil wrappers.

I remember when they were made out of... I dunno, The Titanic.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Dr Rock on April 25, 2016, 10:36:48 PM
For the purposes of facts, I occasionally eat a Prawn Cocktail flavour, or a Marmite flavour or a Worcestershire Sauce flavour - even though I don't like any of those things in real life! Apart from the last two.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on April 25, 2016, 10:37:52 PM
The 10 Crispmandments

1. Light blue is salt and vinegar.
2. Dark blue is ready salted.
3. Green is cheese and onion.
4. Light purple is prawn cocktail.
5. Dark brown is beef.
6. Light brown is chicken.
7. Red is tomato ketchup.
8. White is DIY salting.
9. Dark purple is up for grabs right now.
10. Thou shalt worship no other crisp packet colours before these, unless you're one of those Euro deviants and only have "family pack" size bags, almost every flavour of which is paprika.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 10:42:37 PM
Quote from: HappyTree on April 25, 2016, 10:37:52 PM
The 10 Crispmandments

1. Light blue is salt and vinegar.
2. Dark blue is ready salted.
3. Green is cheese and onion.
4. Light purple is prawn cocktail.
5. Dark brown is beef.
6. Light brown is chicken.
7. Red is tomato ketchup.
8. White is DIY salting.
9. Dark purple is up for grabs right now.
10. Thou shalt worship no other crisp packet colours before these, unless you're one of those Euro deviants and only have "family pack" size bags, almost every flavour of which is paprika.

Not bad, but PINK is prawn cocktail. You are in thrall to WALKERS
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on April 25, 2016, 10:51:08 PM
I was winging it on the purples and should have known I'd never get away with it on here. Truth be told, I never liked prawn cocktail flavour. Too sweet. Tasted odd on a crisp.

Here is my current crisp regimen: big bag of cheese balls. To recreate the munchie magic of clearing up the day after a party, I pre-stale my cheese balls by emptying them all into a bowl and leaving them uncovered for a day. Makes them nice and chewy.

Dill flavour crisps are the best thing here. I also like to add my own Worcester sauce into the bag. Shake it up à la Smiths and you have some slightly damp dream snacks waiting for you.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on April 25, 2016, 10:52:13 PM
Quote from: HappyTree on April 25, 2016, 10:37:52 PM
unless you're one of those Euro deviants and only have "family pack" size bags, almost every flavour of which is paprika.

I think we need to properly address this. Europeans insist on getting crisps wrong and they don't even feel the slightest twinge of remorse for this most heinous crime.

Just what the hell is their excuse!?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: amnesiac on April 25, 2016, 10:56:36 PM
what trainers is everyone waring?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: MuteBanana on April 25, 2016, 11:02:33 PM
Are you having a cold pint of lager?

Salt and vinegar crisps is what you need.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: alan nagsworth on April 25, 2016, 11:04:04 PM
As per most things, you can shove these new fangled artisan bespoke pheasant and apple e-liquid root vegetable crisps up your fucking arse and fuck off, and of course accept that the cheapo shite crisps are the fucking tops. Tangy Toms, Onion Rings (the absolute peak of all crisps), Space Raiders, Chipsticks, they're the best. The only alternative is McCoys who still manage to make a quality crisp. Walkers, with the exception of prawn cocktail, have always been wall to wall fucking shite. 99% irredeemable crap.

Personally speaking I don't want to live in a world where shit like this exists and my life is an endless day-by-day war waged against this cunt of an establishment:

(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/10/lead-asset-large_trans++eo_i_u9APj8RuoebjoAHt0k9u7HhRJvuo-ZLenGRumA.jpg)

You know who started this shit as well don't you? Fucking Walkers with their campaign of WHATS THE WACKIEST FLAVOUR YOU WANT TO SEE ON THE SHELVES, and these cunt concoctions:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/56/Do-us-a-flavour.JPG)

fucks sake i despair, i've got nowt else to say, going to bed
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: imitationleather on April 25, 2016, 11:07:12 PM
I remember trying that breakfast-flavoured crisp and immediately nearly being sick.

That's just not what food is supposed to do. Not even unhealthy snacks. Even with raw chicken you get a while before the vomitting sets in.

Also: Gin and tonic flavour? How the fuck does that work?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 25, 2016, 11:11:36 PM
I notice Walkers have brought back Walkers MAX Red Hot for the first time since 1999.

What are they like? These used to be true tabasco level spicy.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 25, 2016, 11:15:47 PM
My after swim crisps were always Wheat Crunchies Smoky Bacon.

Never compromise.  Never give in. Always go to war.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 11:15:47 PM
I made my own crisp once. It was very nice! Has anyone else ever made their own crisp before?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: non capisco on April 25, 2016, 11:16:44 PM
God. I've just remembered with a certain amount of shuddering horror the worst crisps I've ever tasted, again from the diabolical Walkers 'experimental flavours' stable. From their World Cup 2010 range, Paella flavoured crisps. The taste was like licking a moribund seaside pier.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: MuteBanana on April 25, 2016, 11:18:31 PM
Never had those because they looked liked teenagers crisps
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on April 25, 2016, 11:23:59 PM
Quote from: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 11:15:47 PM
I made my own crisp once. It was very nice! Has anyone else ever made their own crisp before?

I tried making a Quentin Crisp once, but it didn't come out right.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Brundle-Fly on April 25, 2016, 11:25:08 PM
Quote from: Jockice on April 25, 2016, 09:02:57 PM
Nonsense. Rancheros were THE after-swim snack. They sure taste like bacon.

With a hint of chlorine and infant piss?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HupHupHup on April 25, 2016, 11:35:22 PM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 25, 2016, 11:15:47 PM
My after swim crisps were always Wheat Crunchies Smoky Bacon.

Terrifying, I was just about to write this. You're not my mate Jim are you?
There was always a race to get the few rare packs of these from the machine rather than the Worcester sauce ones. Either way, they had to be fully and secretly consumed before our parents got there to pick us up. As we drove off Jim used to shout to his or my dad, "Step on it birdie, and lay an egg!" in a comedy New York accent. It always got a laugh and he claimed it was from a coolly inappropriate film he'd seen aged 7, but I've never come across it anywhere nor do I understand it.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on April 25, 2016, 11:39:40 PM
Egg-flavour crisps. I've just leaving this here.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Brundle-Fly on April 25, 2016, 11:46:20 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on April 25, 2016, 10:19:46 PM
What gets me is that there are people posting on this very forum who aren't even old enough to remember crisp packets with real plastic windows.  They've only ever known foil wrappers.

I'm blaming youth but they're most likely stupid as well.

Not like in our day with our 1940's revival Salt 'n' Shake crisps.

(http://imageshack.com/a/img923/8323/7FljcK.jpg)

Insert dated Thatcher joke here.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: pancreas on April 25, 2016, 11:47:15 PM
I'm extremely glad that this thread has come along because I just discovered the best crisp-like object I've ever had and can now share it. It's #1 in the images below.

Basically you can get them from Waitrose and they are a bit like a pimped version of cheese moments. Cheese moments are pictured #2, but, as I say, they are not as good.

Cheese moments are from the same family as bacon fries (which look a bit like tiny broken rashers of bacon if you squint) and scampi fries #3. Scampi fries have not yet been beaten by any other crisp which lie along the fish vector. This includes prawn cocktail crisps. Scampi fries taste a bit like rotten prawns mixed with genital discharge and salt. They're really great.

(https://www.ocado.com/productImages/316/31638011_0_640x640.jpg?identifier=d2c959d0de7be2309b6bc930dd4c2e2e)(http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDYwMA==/z/jSsAAOSwQItT71Pe/$_57.JPG?set_id=880000500F)(http://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/img/large/CS0046.jpg)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Vodka Margarine on April 25, 2016, 11:49:32 PM
Quote
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/56/Do-us-a-flavour.JPG)

Hang on sec, I remember all that 'vote for your favourite mad flavour' business. Walkers promised they'd add the winner to their standard repertoire. Did they balls! It's almost as if they knew damn well that the victorious 'Builder's Breakfast' flavour actually tasted like stale crotch sweat in a heatwave and would very likely bankrupt the entire organisation if seriously mass produced year upon year. What a bunch of deceitful, play it safe, lying crisp bastards.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: doppelkorn on April 26, 2016, 07:51:52 AM
Poppadoms: giant crisp, or very thin, shit bread?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: mook on April 26, 2016, 07:53:31 AM
unwieldy cheeseless poverty quavers
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: yesitsme on April 26, 2016, 08:44:17 AM
I'd ban the eating of crisps in public until people learn to eat the correctly.  I don't want to see you shovel handful after handful down your gullet, I don't want to hear you eating them rhythmically like the Scots Dragoon Guards are marching down the road, I definitely don't want to see you do the 'lift and tip' and if I EVER catch you licking your finger and wiping up the dust I will kill you and all your family.

If you are that hungry I will buy you antother bag of crisps.

The same goes for yogurt.  When it's done it's done.  You do not have to turn yogurt eating in to some kind of pot clawing scraping contest like you're trying to dig your way to freedom.  Through the bottom of a yogurt pot. 

I will say.  Plain Hula Hoops, S+V Hula Hoops, C+O Squares.

I also love nuts.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Jockice on April 26, 2016, 08:47:29 AM
Quote from: the science eel on April 25, 2016, 10:16:47 PM
Nice place. I'm a Whitehaven marra.


How is it round there nowadays? I've been there but not for years. Usually visit my family in Carlisle two or three times a year though.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: KennyMonster on April 26, 2016, 09:29:01 AM
Quote from: amnesiac on April 25, 2016, 09:10:09 PM
tell you what though the state of McCoys these days! I remember when they used to be thick! THICK AS A MAN COCK now they're these horrible weedy girl crisp thanks to the Euro! NO THANK YOU CAMERON

I disagree,

The smaller McCoys get the more closer they resemble my cock.[nb]Actually a modern day wotsit would be a better model[nb]But you'd need to double the cheese [/nb].[/nb]
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 26, 2016, 10:48:53 AM
Quote from: Jockice on April 26, 2016, 08:47:29 AM

How is it round there nowadays? I've been there but not for years. Usually visit my family in Carlisle two or three times a year though.

Like a lot of towns these days it's dead in the centre (Workington gets all the shoppers with its HMV and M&S), but the harbour/marina is lovely - great to walk down the piers - and some of the old Georgian houses are beautiful. I've grown very fond of the place in recent years. It has a real charm.

I like getting the West Coast train to Carlisle. It hugs the coastline, shuddering along at a snail's pace. You're really in the wilderness for most of the journey.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Jockice on April 26, 2016, 11:29:27 AM
Quote from: the science eel on April 26, 2016, 10:48:53 AM
Like a lot of towns these days it's dead in the centre (Workington gets all the shoppers with its HMV and M&S), but the harbour/marina is lovely - great to walk down the piers - and some of the old Georgian houses are beautiful. I've grown very fond of the place in recent years. It has a real charm.

I like getting the West Coast train to Carlisle. It hugs the coastline, shuddering along at a snail's pace. You're really in the wilderness for most of the journey.

Workington has an HMV and M&S. Whatever next? I like rural Cumbria. Very underrated.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Natnar on April 26, 2016, 11:52:50 AM
Quote from: doppelkorn on April 26, 2016, 07:51:52 AM
Poppadoms: giant crisp, or very thin, shit bread?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QduTLFILORY
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: DukeDeMondo on April 26, 2016, 02:52:56 PM
Quote from: pancreas on April 25, 2016, 11:47:15 PM
Scampi fries taste a bit like rotten prawns mixed with genital discharge and salt. They're really great.

Are they crisps, though? I dunno.

I only had £1.40 to spend on my breakfast this morning so I decided to get a 6 pack Savoury Selection - 3 x Scampi (Flavour) Fries, 3 x Bacon (Flavour) Fries - out the pound shop instead of getting somethin out Greggs or whatever, since then I'd have six things and that'd cover my lunch an' all. Maybe even dinner.

Opened the 6 pack Savoury Selection on the bus, enjoyed a packet of Scampi (Flavour) Fries. Virtually alone on the top deck of the bus, could munch away without having to worry about some tosser sitting sniffing and tutting at me over the head of the reek of the things, sitting there reading CaB and eating some Scampi (Flavour) Fries, no harm being done to nothing or nobody. Couple minutes later I'd finished them and I was still hungry so thought I might as well have a Bacon (Flavour) Fries while I'm at it. Bacon's more a breakfast sort of thing anyway, really. Munching away then at these Bacon (Flavour) Fries, still plenty Savoury Selection left for lunch an maybe even dinner.

I thoroughly enjoyed both (Flavour) Fries and before long I'd started convincing myself that enough time had passed and I could have another Savoury Selection if I wanted. Sure it's far closer to lunch time than it is to breakfast time now anyway if you take an early lunch.

Had another wee Scampi (Flavour) Fries. Sure why not.

Anyway I got off the bus 35 minutes later and I hadn't one Savoury fuckin Selection to my name, not Bacon (Flavour) or Scampi (Flavour) or fuck all bastard (Flavour) fuck all else. 

You can't not eat the fucking things. Leaving yourself alone with 6 of them for any length of time is a recipe for disaster.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: amnesiac on April 26, 2016, 03:09:22 PM
^ I like the idea of having a set amount of 'things' to eat during the course of a day. Might try that. Will start with 6.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 26, 2016, 03:18:52 PM
That's the first belly-laugh I've had on CaB!

Nice to read something proper funny instead of all the self-satisfied cunt rubbish you normally get.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bazooka on April 26, 2016, 04:15:11 PM
The biggest sin from Walkers as of recent times, was the the acquiring of Squares and Chipsticks from Smiths Snacks but only continuing the Salt N Vinegar flavour, unforgivable to think the other ones are in Crisp Heaven.

If you want flavour these days you have got to go with the Co-Op big bag range, Chardonnay Salt N Vinegar are probably illegal with the massive flavour hit you get, like those Disco's

Going to have to side with you people, Bacon Wheat Crunchies are the official crisps of swimming pools, to be eaten afterwards. T-Bone Steak Roysters are often overlooked along with Cheese n Onion Crinkle Cheddars.

Prawn Cocktail is demonic.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: amnesiac on April 26, 2016, 04:18:14 PM
After swimming we'd always have the crisps of parachute men, I can't remember what they were called! it was parachute men. Men with parachutes shapes. Does that ring a bell? parachute men. Can anyone remember what they were called? it was.. hang on it was called Sky Divers, and they didn't even have parachutes!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: non capisco on April 26, 2016, 04:20:18 PM
Quote from: Bazooka on April 26, 2016, 04:15:11 PM
If you want flavour these days you have got to go with the Co-Op big bag range, Chardonnay Salt N Vinegar are probably illegal with the massive flavour hit you get, like those Disco's

You can practically feel your heart twinge in protest just looking at a bag of those. Salty as Popeye's ballbag.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Dex Sawash on April 26, 2016, 06:22:07 PM
Quote from: the science eel on April 26, 2016, 03:18:52 PM
That's the first belly-laugh I've had on CaB!

Nice to read something proper funny instead of all the self-satisfied cunt rubbish you normally get.

They've all had self-satisfied cunt rubbish, etc
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 26, 2016, 06:32:07 PM
How many crisps would I need to administer per day to convert an otherwise ordinary human being into a sub-human fatso?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: confettiinmyhair on April 26, 2016, 07:06:12 PM
Quote from: Bazooka on April 26, 2016, 04:15:11 PM
If you want flavour these days you have got to go with the Co-Op big bag range, Chardonnay Salt N Vinegar are probably illegal with the massive flavour hit you get, like those Disco's

Pleasure spiked with pain. Disco's are legit crisps. Right up there with Beef McCoys.


Further questions:
Are mini cheddars crisps or cheesy biscuits?
Kettles or Tyrells?
Is it acceptable to eat Pringles and Doritos without a dip?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: weekender on April 26, 2016, 07:10:08 PM
Quote from: biggytitbo on April 25, 2016, 08:26:03 PM
What's the definition of a crisp?

Really?

>Flounce.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: alan nagsworth on April 26, 2016, 07:12:51 PM
Quote from: imitationleather on April 25, 2016, 11:07:12 PM
I remember trying that breakfast-flavoured crisp and immediately nearly being sick.

That's just not what food is supposed to do. Not even unhealthy snacks. Even with raw chicken you get a while before the vomitting sets in.

I feel like someone in Walkers' marketing team had a flicker of a thought that if they created a Builder's Breakfast crisp, they'd be on the fast track to satisfying the age-old futuristic vision of having invented an entire meal in a pill or something. An inconceivable mind-blowing culmination of so many well-loved flavours presented to an aghast boardroom.

"Imagine it, gang! An average crisp takes six bites to eat, and with each bite you get a different part of the meal. First bite, lovely buttery toast dipped in your bean juice to get you going. Second bite, ooh that's a nice herby cumberland sausage, and if you eat it on the left side of your mouth, there's a dollop of red sauce on it for you. I don't think I need to tell you what you get on the right side of the mouth, do I? Third bite, mmm! Scrambled eggs, and not sparing on the black pepper either! Fourth bite, and we're back to those baked beans we teased you with earlier, but what's that sweet and crunchy texture alongside it? It's a fucking HASH BROWN lads, there's no expense spared here! Fifth bite, bit controversial this one, but it's a great gristly chunk of black pudding. That'll separate the men from the boys! Sixth bite and of course it's old faithful, a whole TWO SLICES of crispy bacon, and again left side for red sauce and right for Daddy's Brown."

Obviously the logistics of this crisp are difficult in that you'd have to finish the crisp in six bites and you'd have to wait between each bite to savour each part of the meal, and really you'd only need to eat one crisp for breakfast every day, meaning an average bag of crisps would feed you for about two weeks and cost about £55 per bag (assuming you'd pay £4 for a fry-up of that size equivalent in your typical greasy spoon) but HEY it's fucking worth a punt isn't it? And creating a Builder's Breakfast crisp is the first step in the right direction, the direction to THE FUCKING FUTURE.

So in the end the whole campaign was sort of worth it I reckon.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on April 26, 2016, 07:14:19 PM
Quote from: weekender on April 26, 2016, 07:10:08 PM
Flounce.

Are they like Skips?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Van Dammage on April 26, 2016, 07:30:00 PM
Lads. Blue Doritos. Blue fucking Doritos are great.

And these :
(http://www.foodireland.com/mm5/Products/560251.gif)

(http://ansiopa.ie/WebRoot/Register365/Shops/950004533/52D6/7953/4916/B488/0D0D/C0A8/190C/D84E/Skip-Mp-6er-new-design_m.png)

(http://www.pennyjellies.com/image/cache/data/tayto_chipsticks-600x600.jpg)

(http://img.tesco.ie/Groceries/pi/632%5C5099678306632%5CIDShot_225x225.jpg)

YES MATE
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: NattyDread on April 26, 2016, 07:31:17 PM
Quote from: Bazooka on April 26, 2016, 04:15:11 PM

If you want flavour these days you have got to go with the Co-Op big bag range.

These grabbed my attention recently. Did the business very nicely indeed.

(http://i0.wp.com/www.chilefoundry.com/wp-content/uploads/Burts-Guinness-Rich-Beef-Chilli-Flavoured-Crisps_sm.jpg?w=350)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 26, 2016, 07:37:40 PM
What is the lifespan of a crisp.

Is it true that crisps were once living flat crispy creatures that have had their teeth cut off to make them go dead and edible.

What makes crisps go in a packet.

Why do crisp packets have to have air inside.

What is the oldest crisp you would eat.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 26, 2016, 07:43:05 PM
Quote from: NattyDread on April 26, 2016, 07:31:17 PM
These grabbed my attention recently. Did the business very nicely indeed.

(http://i0.wp.com/www.chilefoundry.com/wp-content/uploads/Burts-Guinness-Rich-Beef-Chilli-Flavoured-Crisps_sm.jpg?w=350)

Yeah, they're very good. I only had a quid in my pocket and I bought them from a machine at Manchester Airport railway station.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: gib on April 26, 2016, 07:47:15 PM
I like the big bags of Beef & Onion they do in M&S, I do.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: gib on April 26, 2016, 07:49:30 PM
Also, when did school dinnerladies stop making crisps? You must remember. Once a week, they would would make actual crisps, dripping with oil and presented in one of those big aluminium roasting dishes. They were not nice crisps.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: amnesiac on April 26, 2016, 08:37:16 PM
(http://www.doyouremember.co.uk/uploads/raw-1326290460.jpg)





THREAD CLOSED
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Jockice on April 26, 2016, 09:17:22 PM
Quote from: gib on April 26, 2016, 07:47:15 PM
I like the big bags of Beef & Onion they do in M&S, I do.


Ooh, they are gorgeous!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 26, 2016, 09:47:55 PM
Can you still get Brannigans Beef and Mustard? They were spectacular.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on April 26, 2016, 09:53:56 PM
Best crisp I ever had was McCoy's thick crinkle cut jalapeno and cheese. The spiciness was perfect. Of course, when I discovered them they stopped making them about 3 weeks later. Now I make do with Kettle Chips sweet chili and sour cream, which are ok but verging on too sweet again.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Genevieve on April 26, 2016, 10:43:45 PM
Can't believe it, that last one stole my thunder!  I went out for a drink the other week and had a delicious summery ale called Ava, low alcohol for me, it tasted of pineapple but not sweet.  Plumped for the first crisps mentioned, the Kettle Chips sweet chilli and sour cream and the combination was beautiful.  Then it got better, I had a really good porter with wonderful depth of flavour, (sorry forgotten its name) porters tend to be up and down for me and I've been unlucky lately but this was great, then the crisp on offer was Kettle Chips Crispy Bacon and Maple Syrup and the combo was perfect again.  It reminded me of my favourite movie night snack - Butterkist popcorn and a Frazzle in the same bite.  These were not suitable for vegetarians unlike most bacon snacks.  I used to find Kettle Chips too hard but these were fine.  I fear I've reached the zenith and for the first time beer and crisps really made sense, it'll never reach these heights again.  The next crisps I had were those Walkers Sensations Chicken and whatever the other day and I had to put some hummus on.  I would like some of the meaty Nik Naks, or the spicy ones, whatever.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Attila on April 27, 2016, 06:53:58 PM
These were the only things left on our Easyjet flight by the time they got about 15 rows back (we were in row 25). They've got the look and texture of floor tiling, but are strangely more-ish when you're really hungry and everyone ahead of you has eaten the last cheese toasties behind the Iron Curtin on your flight to freedom.

https://www.finecheese.co.uk/delicatessen/cheddar-crackers-pouches-for-grab-go5.html

Now I want some more. I bet they won't be as nice.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Puce Moment on April 27, 2016, 07:02:04 PM
For those that are Irish or have been to Ireland, and have a predilection for cheese and onion crisps, any preference here?

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CKnKjkIUAAATy52.jpg)

This was quite the debate back in the 1980s in my extended family. I oscillated somewhat, but started to prefer the slightly over-cooked taste of the King crisps. But Tayto - fuckin' smashing.

When I go back to Ireland and eat them I can almost smell Dublin boozers and the taste of cheese and onion crisps mixed with lemonade or coke, sat in the corner of the room watching adults getting pished. Proustian rush crisps they are.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 27, 2016, 07:06:43 PM
Fucking red for that.

I bet they're called Ireland for all the crisp related ire they cause, eh readers!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Puce Moment on April 27, 2016, 07:17:49 PM
Look at that racist shit on the left though. Potato in a hat. Yeah sure, we're all potatoes in hats.

YEAH RIGHT
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 07:21:13 PM
Quote from: the science eel on April 26, 2016, 09:47:55 PM
Can you still get Brannigans Beef and Mustard? They were spectacular.

No

But now yes again

That's the answer - it's a yes
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: buttgammon on April 27, 2016, 07:27:48 PM
I think the accepted answer to the Irish Question is King cheese and onion, but Tayto salt and vinegar. I like both but prefer Bistro or Rancheros. Meanies too, although I haven't had any of those for ages.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: mothman on April 27, 2016, 07:40:30 PM
That World Cup of Crisps that Richard Osman ran over Easter left me convinced that when it comes to savoury snacks, most people are utter morons with no taste.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 07:45:38 PM
Quote from: mothman on April 27, 2016, 07:40:30 PM
That World Cup of Crisps that Richard Osman ran over Easter left me convinced that when it comes to savoury snacks, most people are utter morons with no taste.

Imagine liking ordinary Cheese and Onion as the best crisps, as in the best ever crisps there are, were, have been or ever will be.

This is why industrial quantities of people were murdered in gas chambers.[nb]that's how Walkers produce this particular flavour[/nb]
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 27, 2016, 07:46:24 PM
Hello I want somebody to answer my questions, please.

Quote from: Replies From View on April 26, 2016, 07:37:40 PM
What is the lifespan of a crisp.

What makes crisps go in a packet.

Why do crisp packets have to have air inside.

What is the oldest crisp you would eat.

I would like them answered as a matter of urgency, thank you.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on April 27, 2016, 09:24:05 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on April 27, 2016, 07:46:24 PM
I would like them answered as a matter of urgency, thank you.

You'll have to wait. The wheels of crisp bureaucracy turn at a glacial pace. Walkers have been waiting for their application to swap their Cheese & Onion with Salt & Vinegar pack colours for several decades now.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on April 27, 2016, 09:54:15 PM
What is the lifespan of a crisp. Almost 91 years.

What makes crisps go in a packet. Fear.

Why do crisp packets have to have air inside. To make it look as if there's enough of a snack in there to feed a human being.

What is the oldest crisp you would eat.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 27, 2016, 09:55:06 PM
Thanks HappyTree.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: TrenterPercenter on April 27, 2016, 10:15:35 PM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 07:45:38 PM
Imagine liking ordinary Cheese and Onion as the best crisps, as in the best ever crisps there are, were, have been or ever will be.

This is why industrial quantities of people were murdered in gas chambers.[nb]that's how Walkers produce this particular flavour[/nb]

best ingredient in the dish known as "the crisp sandwich" though.

wait a minute.

Oh internet you never let me down http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/23573/best-crisp-sandwich-------ever.aspx
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Genevieve on April 27, 2016, 10:20:29 PM
Quote from: mothman on April 27, 2016, 07:40:30 PM
That World Cup of Crisps that Richard Osman ran over Easter left me convinced that when it comes to savoury snacks, most people are utter morons with no taste.

The chocolate one was as bad, just a final bunch of low quality milk chocolates sans fillings.  Anyway, that's not for here.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 10:32:19 PM
Quote from: mook on April 26, 2016, 07:53:31 AM
unwieldy cheeseless poverty quavers

Unwieldy in the hands of the unready.

A mere disc to twist and spindle in the mitts of a truly capable snacktanian.

Not only a giant crunch-ufo but a tool for mopping, dipping and sopping.

Some waiters try to remove your poppadums and dip trays before the mains arrive but fuck you, I'm consuming all of this in full - I will cut you if you move for them one further time.

Never ever take Jamie Oliver's advice about microwaving poppadums though. Absolutely claggy, pointless dogshite that leaves you spending the next hour picking clag from your teeth and wondering why you didn't fry them like a real man.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 27, 2016, 10:39:08 PM
Or poach or scramble them.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: colacentral on April 27, 2016, 10:39:27 PM
(http://i25.tinypic.com/ev73x5.jpg)

My poverty stricken grandparents on my mum's side would always do their shopping at Kwik Save and get their No Frills crisps. Worst crisps I've ever eaten.

Not a crisp, but I'm fond of buying a pack of prawn crackers as a substitute every now and again. Spread english mustard on them - a heavenly combination.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: TrenterPercenter on April 27, 2016, 10:44:28 PM
Ah yes that well loved Scottish dish of chillies and raspberries.

Presumably scotch bonnets?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 10:49:53 PM
Highlander FUCKEN AYE there's a crisp.

The narrow crinkle cut style is not often seen on these shores. Always we opt for the deeper, wider Gordon Ramsey forehead crinkle - WHY -- WHYYY
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on April 27, 2016, 11:05:59 PM
Quote from: colacentral on April 27, 2016, 10:39:27 PM
(http://i25.tinypic.com/ev73x5.jpg)

Do they come in multi-packs?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 11:08:50 PM
Fucking mate you can get these cunts in 30+ packets

Highlander is a potato boss
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 27, 2016, 11:15:39 PM
'chilli and raspberry' - I don't believe it. Someone's just fucking around. It makes absolutely no sense.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 11:19:12 PM
They do loads

Cod and Pasty
Codswallop and Cairnwater
Moss and Lichen flavour
Games Console
Fence and Lavender
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on April 27, 2016, 11:22:44 PM
Special Brew and kebab

and yer talkin'
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 27, 2016, 11:23:28 PM
Chilblains and Ariadne

Nestlé and Rowntree
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: mothman on April 27, 2016, 11:40:44 PM
Buckfast?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on April 27, 2016, 11:41:13 PM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2016, 11:08:50 PM
Fucking mate you can get these cunts in 30+ packets

Highlander is a potato boss

So, there can be more than one?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on April 28, 2016, 02:29:05 AM
One Crisp
A Kind of Crisp
One Year of Eating Crisps
Pain Is So Close to Salt & Vinegar
Crisps Will Be Crisps
Who Wants to Eat Crisps Forever?
Gimme the Crisp (Lineker's theme)
Don't Lose Your Crisps
Crisps of the Universe
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bazooka on April 28, 2016, 10:15:46 AM
They look like a good crunch.

A worthy mention to show respect, is the Cofresh brand of potato snacks (usually swirls or salted corns), Leicester(snack capital) based company that specialise in Indian flavour crisps/snacks. They do a chilli and lemon flavour pack, massive and for a £1.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bacon on April 28, 2016, 11:23:57 AM
kettle got a new line of chef's special crisps that all taste like shit. avoid avoid avoid

he has been warned!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Neil on April 28, 2016, 11:48:12 AM
I've moved from Tayto's Spring Onion, to what I believe is another brand of crisp deemed too good for mainlanders:

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/26/82/48/2682486abf2616a0f56e1d2696979b4a.jpg)

Hunky Dorys Buffalo flavour, absolutely yes. Although I still like the odd pack of Scampi Fries when I'm feeling posh.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: mook on April 28, 2016, 11:50:52 AM
buffalo? BUFFALO?! i've got more buffalo under my prodigious prepuce than there is that packet of fried up spud slithers. smatterwiyoupeople?!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Hat FM on April 28, 2016, 01:28:29 PM
These are my current go to crisp (http://veggies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/mccoys_thai.jpg)

but these are for when i have prepared myself properly for their onslaught (http://www.snackspot.org.uk/images/brannigansRoastBeefAndMustard.jpg)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 28, 2016, 05:42:09 PM
Quote from: Bazooka on April 28, 2016, 10:15:46 AM
They look like a good crunch.

A worthy mention to show respect, is the Cofresh brand of potato snacks (usually swirls or salted corns), Leicester(snack capital) based company that specialise in Indian flavour crisps/snacks. They do a chilli and lemon flavour pack, massive and for a £1.

And do they do a Spearmint flavour?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on April 28, 2016, 05:53:47 PM
Go to IKEA and buy a pack of Dill Chips. Your taste buds can thank me later.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on April 28, 2016, 05:56:49 PM
Quote from: HappyTree on April 28, 2016, 05:53:47 PM
Go to IKEA and buy a pack of Dill Chips. Your taste buds can thank me later.

I call them my "taste pals".
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Van Dammage on April 28, 2016, 06:54:14 PM
Quote from: Neil on April 28, 2016, 11:48:12 AM
I've moved from Tayto's Spring Onion, to what I believe is another brand of crisp deemed too good for mainlanders:

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/26/82/48/2682486abf2616a0f56e1d2696979b4a.jpg)

Hunky Dorys Buffalo flavour, absolutely yes. Although I still like the odd pack of Scampi Fries when I'm feeling posh.

Yes. Hunky Dory Buffalo. Lovely stuff.

Quote from: buttgammon on April 27, 2016, 07:27:48 PM
Meanies too

Unfortunately there's fuck all in Meanies packs anymore. 10 crisps if you're lucky.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: buttgammon on April 28, 2016, 08:14:34 PM
I like buffalo Hunky Dorys too, although I've still got a packet lying unopened in my cupboard from about three months ago, which never happens with me and crisps.

As for Meanies, the packets seem to be a non-standard size, so that might account for their relative stinginess compared to other snacks.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 29, 2016, 07:04:49 AM
All the flavours

Space flavour
Gymnasium
Pilau Rice
Sweat on the Cob
Pit Quim
General Election
Artifice and Bavarian Smoked Teeth
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Mr Eggs on April 29, 2016, 07:41:03 AM
I emailed Burtons and demanded scampi flavour fish n chips.

They fucked it up.

(https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kGixL-dL2XM/Vv1N5EzONgI/AAAAAAAABMc/vDRkwwsMqFIhr0AkoFalpJfnyV68OISuw/s1600/BurtonsFishnChipsBrown%2526TomatoSauce_Multipacks.jpg)

Red sauce is the shit. Not had brown yet.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: AllisonSays on April 29, 2016, 09:37:29 AM
They sell those fish'n'chips crisps at a vending machine in my office, I might sample them later. Is it possible to eat too much crisps? I cam home from the pub last night having had my tea before going out - still fairly lucid, only had two pints and two bottles - and ate one of the one pound, too-big-for-one-person-really bags of Monster Munch.

I could easily do that every night I reckon, pub or not. Same with supermarket own-brand tortilla chips, I'd eat a family-sized bag of them in an evening no bother. Can't have the fucking things in the house.

In response to the implicit thread question - Brannigans beef and mustard are the best crisp, followed by Buffalo Hunkie-Dories. Scampi fries are delicious but not a crisp.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: colacentral on April 29, 2016, 11:19:26 AM
Not-a-crisps could be their own subgenre of food.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the hum on April 29, 2016, 11:25:24 AM
(http://veggies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/coop_streaky_1.jpg)

Every supermarket has its own-brand equivalent (I presume), but anyway that there's the Co-Op's budget Frazzles. Every bit as good as the originals, but cheap and in big bags. Addictive as crack and every packet contains about a month's intake of salt. Think I'll go and buy some right now.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 29, 2016, 06:28:30 PM
All the flavours


Slag Heap
Tonsilitis
Hard on & Bergamot
Blemished Ceramics
Food 71A
Pulled Gannet
Dog
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: amnesiac on April 29, 2016, 08:21:24 PM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 29, 2016, 06:28:30 PM

Hard on & Bergamot


unused REM lyrics

Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: holyzombiejesus on October 19, 2016, 02:18:36 PM
I've resurrected this thread to announce that these...

(https://sites.create-cdn.net/siteimages/41/7/7/417741/13/3/3/13330082/423x500.jpg?1473522601)

...might well be the nicest crisps that I have ever eaten.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: MjjW on October 20, 2016, 09:36:34 PM
For those complaining about the amount of Meanies per pack (6 months ago), I recommend upgrading to Mega Meanies. (http://www.technogypsie.com/photogallery/2010/june/062410/JPEG/062410-053.jpg)
Which I have bought a bulk load off of ebay to be shipped across the sea to me this very week.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on October 20, 2016, 09:39:24 PM
Quote from: MjjW on October 20, 2016, 09:36:34 PM
(http://www.technogypsie.com/photogallery/2010/june/062410/JPEG/062410-053.jpg)

You've got some on your finger.  Or that person has, if it's not you.

Actually turns my stomach a bit.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on October 20, 2016, 10:09:47 PM
Quote from: holyzombiejesus on October 19, 2016, 02:18:36 PM
I've resurrected this thread to announce that these...

(https://sites.create-cdn.net/siteimages/41/7/7/417741/13/3/3/13330082/423x500.jpg?1473522601)

...might well be the nicest crisps that I have ever eaten.

You may well be correct. The first mouthful is weird, but then your taste buds adjust and it's surprisingly nice. The best of that range.

The worst is the sausage and brown sauce one, which tastes like stale wine. Can't work out how they fucked that up.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on October 21, 2016, 12:32:11 AM
Cheese/Cucumber and Salad Cream is the only one I haven't tried yet - didn't like the look of it but I'm going to try it if you two say it's good. Agree about Sausage and Brown Sauce being nasty, as is Cheese Toastie and Worcester Sauce, although they both sound like they should be gorgeous. Roast Chicken and Mayonnaise and Ham and Mustard are both overpoweringly artificial-tasting, the 'mustard' in the latter is very strong, which might be okay if only it tasted halfway authentic. 

Best by far is Bacon and Tomato Ketchup (at least until I've had CC&SC), which is more or less redolent of a classic crisp flavour.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: drambo on October 21, 2016, 12:39:36 AM
there's entire threads dedicated to salt and vinegar crisps on here and it's a prickly area, but these deserve mention for those stuck for replacing all the now watered down healthy sell-outs. these will have you breathing fire again.

(https://rachyslair.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/crisps.jpg?w=500)

i had to give up on store bought crisps as a staple and start making my own out of spelt or kale. laugh away.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: imitationleather on October 21, 2016, 01:12:37 AM
Those crisps are indeed good. I rarely eat crisps nowadays because they are just filth, and so I prefer to keep them for a special occasion (or a long train journey). I know, that sounds pathetic, as though my life is so joyless that I have to reserve crisps as a special event that gets put in my diary, but here I am. Anyway, when I do think I deserve a crisp treat I go to town and eat an entire big bag of those fuckers. Makes me feel ill and gives me spots (at 30!) but fuck is it worth it at the time.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Cloud on October 21, 2016, 02:06:45 AM
Quote from: holyzombiejesus on October 19, 2016, 02:18:36 PM...might well be the nicest crisps that I have ever eaten.

Yum yum yum (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8Jtm1eNpeU)!

I agree wholeheartedly
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Rocket Surgery on October 21, 2016, 03:08:08 AM
I'm not reading a five page thread about crisps, but have we done "Herring-flavoured" yet?

If not, there.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: MjjW on October 21, 2016, 10:12:25 PM
QuoteYou've got some on your finger.  Or that person has, if it's not you.

Actually turns my stomach a bit.

Not my finger thank goodness. I would not waste such precious morsels. According to the watermark that is the hand of a 2010 Techno Gypsie. Big thumbnails eh.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on October 21, 2016, 10:39:13 PM
Quote from: Rocket Surgery on October 21, 2016, 03:08:08 AM
I'm not reading a five page thread about crisps, but have we done "Herring-flavoured" yet?

If not, there.

When you bite into a Herring-flavoured crisp does it go "SO ERRRRRR"?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: holyzombiejesus on October 21, 2016, 10:53:35 PM
Quote from: Blumf on October 20, 2016, 10:09:47 PM
You may well be correct. The first mouthful is weird, but then your taste buds adjust and it's surprisingly nice. The best of that range.

Spot on. First time I tried them, I initially thought they were foul. Then, 2 or 3 seconds later, I was in crisp heaven.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on October 22, 2016, 01:31:37 AM
Tried the Cheese and Cucumber for the first time today to complete the collection, and like others here my first reaction was ugh, then not bad. However, by the end of the bag it was back to ugh. The salad cream flavour came through momentarily, but ultimately it's just another weird chemical taste.  So, a clear win for Bacon and Tomato Ketchup, but I wouldn't be sad to see that go either.  Walkers, I hereby declare you to be bloated and rubbish.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Dex Sawash on October 23, 2016, 04:32:43 PM
Crisps for Cunts

QuoteA Swedish microbrewery has created exclusive crisps that are made from some of the fanciest ingredients around. But, would you be willing to fork out £46 for just five?   

(https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/article_medium/public/thumbnails/image/2016/10/20/11/st-eriks-crisps.jpg)

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/the-world-s-most-expensive-crisps-a7371291.html
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Puce Moment on October 23, 2016, 04:51:08 PM
I had some cheese and onion McCoys yesterday. Holy fuck, are those some weighty and motherfucking oily fucking crisps. At one point, after stuffing a particularly large handful into my gob, I realised how much oil was swimming around in there.

Delicious.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: im barry bethel on October 23, 2016, 04:51:36 PM
Golden Wonder 24 multpackl (+6 free) £3 in Icelands

Ready salted
Salt & vinegar
Cheese & onion
Smokey bacon
Prawn cocktail
Roast chicken


That's all you'll ever need
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on October 23, 2016, 05:20:14 PM
Quote from: Puce Moment on October 23, 2016, 04:51:08 PM
I had some cheese and onion McCoys yesterday. Holy fuck, are those some weighty and motherfucking oily fucking crisps. At one point, after stuffing a particularly large handful into my gob, I realised how much oil was swimming around in there.

Delicious.

A lot of it might have been your tasty saliva.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on October 23, 2016, 05:21:04 PM
Quote from: im barry bethel on October 23, 2016, 04:51:36 PM
That's all you'll ever need

What about toilet paper?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: mobias on October 23, 2016, 05:24:15 PM
Quote from: Blumf on October 20, 2016, 10:09:47 PM

The worst is the sausage and brown sauce one, which tastes like stale wine. Can't work out how they fucked that up.

You at utterly wrong about that. I tried all the the new 'novelty' flavours of Walkers crisps and found the only ones I really liked were the sausage and brown sauce ones, which I found really quite yummy.

They all seemed too artificially flavoured for my tastes, almost unnervingly accurate. Like you were eating lot of heavily scientifically researched chemicals, which of course you are.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on October 23, 2016, 05:31:05 PM
See, that's the thing about crisps.  More and more of the salt and vinegar crisps nowadays taste like actual salt and vinegar, which is absolutely missing the point.  Crisps are not a healthy range of unprocessed, natural ingredients prepared by your gran, and they should stop pretending to be.  They should taste like they did in the 1970s, not uncannily like the thing they are trying to emulate.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bazooka on October 23, 2016, 10:58:06 PM
Will some good soul go and buy me a pack of bacon Wheat Crunchies from a swimming pool snack machine?! Please I am desperate, I will pay for the inconvenience.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 23, 2016, 11:04:20 PM
The cucumber sandwich crisps are one of the few packets I've ever not managed to finish, as I thought there was a real risk I was going to be sick. Started badly and got worse. Disgusting.

Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on October 23, 2016, 11:09:08 PM
Mark my words:  crisps designed to taste like Wham chew bars and Refreshers are only just around the corner.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: shiftwork2 on October 23, 2016, 11:15:27 PM
I'd like to add my name the growing list of those outraged by cucumber sandwich crisps.  I couldn't finish the crisp, let alone the bag.  And that's not hyperbole.

I'd also like state for the record that this isn't part of the Britain First boycott of Lineker-endorsed products.  I, for one, am looking forward to our Kristallnacht and eventually building gas chambers for migrants.  So it's nothing to do with that, just that the crisps are horrible.  Rancid.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bhazor on October 23, 2016, 11:30:13 PM
(http://jlbrooks.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/thumbnail/800x800/43a333e6783b28683908bd4d75495aa3/s/-/s-dori-c50_2.jpg)

These are great. Everything else is shit. Just shit.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 23, 2016, 11:37:02 PM
They are like burping up some sick but in the process being reminded that, among the bile and chunks it tastes oddly acceptable.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on October 23, 2016, 11:39:22 PM
Quote from: Bhazor on October 23, 2016, 11:30:13 PM
(http://jlbrooks.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/thumbnail/800x800/43a333e6783b28683908bd4d75495aa3/s/-/s-dori-c50_2.jpg)

These are great. Everything else is shit. Just shit.

I too have a 'habit' with that flavour. Worse still the bastard supermarket didn't have any on the selves today so I'm jonesing bad.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Thursday on October 23, 2016, 11:39:37 PM
I like that McCoys do CHARGRILLED chicken flavour.

"No, we don't do roasted chicken like those twats at Walkers. Fucking CHARGRILLED mate. Clearly, clearly if you're going to do a chicken flavoured crisps you obviously want it to be CHARGRILLED, unless you're a fucking idiot"
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 23, 2016, 11:45:18 PM
And after you've had their immense thai chicken flavour crisps you won't go back to the chargrilled chicken anyway.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: thenoise on October 24, 2016, 01:14:15 AM
Quote from: Dex Sawash on October 23, 2016, 04:32:43 PM
Crisps for Cunts

(https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/article_medium/public/thumbnails/image/2016/10/20/11/st-eriks-crisps.jpg)

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/the-world-s-most-expensive-crisps-a7371291.html
Swedish crisps, that look suspiciously like Paprika flavoured Pringles from where I'm sitting.  I wouldn't buy them for 46p.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: thenoise on October 24, 2016, 01:16:52 AM
(http://goodtoknow.media.ipcdigital.co.uk/111/0000138fe/65ef_orh100000w614/crisps-sensatins.jpg)

Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: pancreas on October 24, 2016, 06:12:03 PM
'A Restaurant Selling Posh Crisps And Dip Is Coming To London'

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/hipchips-crisp-restaurant-soho-london_uk_580e20ace4b056572d835eeb

Grave.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on October 24, 2016, 06:26:33 PM
The restaurant should be called "Rispcrisps".
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Uncle TechTip on October 24, 2016, 08:30:08 PM
Quote from: thenoise on October 24, 2016, 01:16:52 AM
(http://goodtoknow.media.ipcdigital.co.uk/111/0000138fe/65ef_orh100000w614/crisps-sensatins.jpg)

Yeah, them. They do a lemon chicken one and clearly they are designed to be eaten together, imagine that delicious flavour and multiply it by some arbitrary amount.

Currently I'm on the special offer merry go round as Tesco are alternating half price on big bags of Kettle Chips or Tyrells. The latter cheese and chive starts off OK but becomes a bit bland whereas the bright yellow Kettle cheese and onion monstrosity, I could eat several giant packs and have to tell myself to stop.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: pancreas on November 03, 2016, 03:57:16 PM
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81TcgcBesTL._SL1500_.jpg)

Rather nice actually.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Vodka Margarine on November 03, 2016, 04:13:35 PM
(http://i0.wp.com/farm6.staticflickr.com/5489/14386444602_e0ec294f7e.jpg?resize=342%2C500&ssl=1)

Anyone had a bash at these? The 'very hot' ones are indeed very hot and seem to be somewhere between about one in ten and one in fifteen. Or between one in twenty two and one in thirty eight, if like me you managed to crush half the sodding packet before opening. Good fun. I think they're meant for people with lots of well fun mates.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on November 03, 2016, 05:47:18 PM
Only tried one bag of Roulette because they seem to be hard to come across. Pretty tasty. The hot ones didn't seem that much hotter than Chilli Heatwave, although that didn't stop someone trying to get them banned because it gave her daughter an asthma attack.

To go back to the new almost entirely crap new Walkers range, I'm now addicted to the only flavour I liked in the first place, Bacon and Heinz Ketchup. I'll be sorry to see it go.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Flatulent Fox on November 03, 2016, 05:59:44 PM
Righto.
(http://img.dooyoo.co.uk/GB_EN/315/food-drink/food/golden-wonder-nik-naks-cream-n-cheesy-flavour.jpg)

   Nick nacks sour creme and chive is the rolls royce of snacking as far as I'm concerned.The rotten bastards stopped selling them now though.

These are not nick nacks.
(http://www.my-grocery-list.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/KnickKnacks-Strawberry-62g.jpg)

Poor show Golden wonder.Poor show.
(http://www.kpsnacks.com/assets/images/brands/niknaks.png)
Also they didn't respond to my emails about my excellent idea : GIANT nick nacks.Multiple layer of nick nack/flavor/nick nack/flavor.Maybe four or five in a bag?
Rib 'n' saucy are pretty good though.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 03, 2016, 08:31:02 PM
Rib n Saucy

Almost a lost classic

Almost

Dirty but great
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on November 03, 2016, 09:13:02 PM
Quote from: Flatulent Fox on November 03, 2016, 05:59:44 PM
These are not nick nacks.
(http://www.my-grocery-list.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/KnickKnacks-Strawberry-62g.jpg)

Do they mean that the biscuits are coated in strawberry flavouring?  In that case it should be "Strawberry Flavouring Coated Biscuits".

They might otherwise mean "Strawberry Flavoured Coating Biscuits" - ie the biscuits are 'coating biscuits', like some chocolate is 'drinking chocolate'.

Other than that, dunno.  They look shit, like all yank products.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on November 04, 2016, 09:23:06 AM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 03, 2016, 08:31:02 PM
Rib n Saucy

Almost a lost classic

Almost

Dirty but great

Used to be amazing, but their flavour strength has gone way down to just a light dusting. 15 years ago you could eat a pack then eat a whole raw onion and still get Rib n Saucy flavored burps.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Cloud on November 08, 2016, 11:38:18 PM
Currently eating a cheese, cucumber, cheese cucumber and salad cream sandwich crisps, and salad cream sandwich.

I call it a cheesecucumbersaladcreamsandwichception, and it is good.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on November 09, 2016, 12:06:50 AM
Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on November 04, 2016, 09:23:06 AM
Used to be amazing, but their flavour strength has gone way down to just a light dusting. 15 years ago you could eat a pack then eat a whole raw onion and still get Rib n Saucy flavored burps.

Ribena and Saucy more like.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bazooka on November 09, 2016, 10:42:45 AM
The majority of sweet chilli/barbeque/thai/tomato flavour crips etc are so sweet they should only be eaten as a dessert. Tyrrells sea salt and cider or balsamic vinegar crips have more sugar in than a bloody trifle. Get lost, and I have a really sweet tooth.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 09, 2016, 06:24:48 PM
WRONG
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on December 06, 2016, 02:15:17 AM
I'd just about given up on Salt 'n' Vinegar, what with the Walkers version becoming horribly astringent, and the Kettle and Tyrell's type starting to hurt my probably diseased gums, but I've just tried these from Aldi.
(http://i.imgur.com/3AOEiOV.jpg)
Works out at around 15p a packet, but they're bloody gorgeous, the perfect chip-shop flavour.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on December 06, 2016, 09:13:15 AM
The fucking colour!

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KHvGKN4z3TA/ThZxVXY_jHI/AAAAAAAAAug/1Om_ic-V5Oc/s1600/DarthVaderNooo.jpg)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bazooka on December 06, 2016, 10:06:58 AM
Quote from: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on December 06, 2016, 02:15:17 AM
I'd just about given up on Salt 'n' Vinegar, what with the Walkers version becoming horribly astringent, and the Kettle and Tyrell's type starting to hurt my probably diseased gums, but I've just tried these from Aldi.
(http://i.imgur.com/3AOEiOV.jpg)
Works out at around 15p a packet, but they're bloody gorgeous, the perfect chip-shop flavour.

Tyrells and Kettles are pathetic now a days, unless it is cheese/cheddar and onion or black pepper. Discos, Co-op wipe the floor with them when it comes to salt n vinegar.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: non capisco on December 06, 2016, 10:14:34 AM
Co-Op's salt and vinegar crisps are absolutely bloody lethal. The 'salt' part should be in capital letters and there should be a drawing of a man clutching his chest and trying to mouth 'ambulance' on the front.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 09, 2016, 12:14:43 PM
They're delicious.

Big crisp news - Tesco have just developed a masterpiece. Limited Edition so get out there and bulk buy these.

Beef Steak and Spiced Mustard.

I find most steak or beef crisps dull at best, tasting of arse sweat and cigs at worst. I don't give over to hyperbole about this flavour easily but it's fucking brilliant.

The first such crisps to actually have a lingering steak flavour but what makes them is the spiced mustard. Brilliantly well balanced and a hint sweet. Try stopping yourself eating the fucking lot. Try. It's fucking impossible.

Best thing is = thick crinkle cut so these are luxurious and satisfying.

They have done a pigs in blankets flavour as well.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on December 09, 2016, 02:19:27 PM
Anyone else very partial to prawn cocktail and Worcester sauce?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: the science eel on December 09, 2016, 02:22:46 PM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 09, 2016, 12:14:43 PM
They're delicious.

Big crisp news - Tesco have just developed a masterpiece. Limited Edition so get out there and bulk buy these.

Beef Steak and Spiced Mustard.

I find most steak or beef crisps dull at best, tasting of arse sweat and cigs at worst. I don't give over to hyperbole about this flavour easily but it's fucking brilliant.

The first such crisps to actually have a lingering steak flavour but what makes them is the spiced mustard. Brilliantly well balanced and a hint sweet. Try stopping yourself eating the fucking lot. Try. It's fucking impossible.

Best thing is = thick crinkle cut so these are luxurious and satisfying.

They have done a pigs in blankets flavour as well.

Good lad. Off there now.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Clatty McCutcheon on December 09, 2016, 02:23:25 PM
Quote from: Dex Sawash on October 23, 2016, 04:32:43 PM

(https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/article_medium/public/thumbnails/image/2016/10/20/11/st-eriks-crisps.jpg)


It's terrible when you mislay your crisp tweezers, isn't it? You could have cupboards full of multipacks but not be able to scoff any of them because the tweezers have gone walkabout again.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on December 09, 2016, 02:27:42 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on December 09, 2016, 02:19:27 PM
Anyone else very partial to prawn cocktail and Worcester sauce?

and Tomato Sauce.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on December 09, 2016, 02:29:49 PM
Quote from: Blumf on December 09, 2016, 02:27:42 PM
and Tomato Sauce.

Just been eating some of a bumper pack of Wheat Crunchies.  Love the tomato sauce ones of them.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on December 09, 2016, 02:55:58 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on December 09, 2016, 02:29:49 PM
Just been eating some of a bumper pack of Wheat Crunchies.  Love the tomato sauce ones of them.

Please! The bastards withdrew Worcester Sauce flavour. Utter cunts!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: buttgammon on December 09, 2016, 06:32:50 PM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 09, 2016, 12:14:43 PM
They're delicious.

Big crisp news - Tesco have just developed a masterpiece. Limited Edition so get out there and bulk buy these.

Beef Steak and Spiced Mustard.

Fuck yes, they're awesome. I got a packet a couple of days ago while I was nursing a dreadful hangover and found they were the only food I could stomach. Admittedly, I vomited them up almost immediately but when I finished the remaining half of the bag later in the day, I was fully able to appreciate their brilliance. They're like crinkle-cut Brannigans, true gods among crisps.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 09, 2016, 06:58:24 PM
Very good description. The hint of spice makes them.

The pigs in blankets were mediocre.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on December 09, 2016, 07:02:26 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on December 09, 2016, 02:19:27 PM
Anyone else very partial to prawn cocktail and Worcester sauce?

HOW WOULD WE KNOW??
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on December 13, 2016, 12:42:20 PM
These...

(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/5FvU2Cifvvao71niIzRtiF90QgeUATKCQhZFlkIAslEuIHCjnBmzxWceor94_cWxyxbfSNjsssvMqAacFy11NQ9vpOb1Wgsw8A2-AcQ09kByo7UHtpDbGjyf=s0-d)

...are quiet nice.

Flavour : 4.5/5 (looses the vinegar of Walkers Tomato Sauce, gains a nice mellow garlic tone)
Crispiness : 3/5 (on the weak side for crinkle cut)

There's some others in the range (https://newontheshelves.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/oh-my-guru-crisps-in-tesco.html).
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: ASFTSN on December 13, 2016, 08:54:15 PM
Man in office on work placement today kindly offered to do a shop run.  He asks if I would like anything, and I reply 'Some salt and vinegar crisps of some kind' and then and for some reason, no doubt wanting to be 'cool'*, added - 'any sort really', and handed him a pound . 

'One of the big or small bags[nb]of crisps[/nb]?' he asked.

'Big' I said, hedonism prevailing.

Twenty minutes later or so he returns with - a tube of salt and vinegar pringles.  I ate seven or eight like the starch hog I am, but disquietedly, all the while wondering what had happened?

Had my instructions been followed by a rube, a person who was too incapable - or too lazy - to pay attention?[nb]I was in that shop on Monday and the pringles are right by the checkout[/nb] Was the purchase a sly gesture at my vagueness?  Or was it my own fault, expecting a hapless colleague to know about crisps?  Is this the consequences of not wearing your crisp knowledge like a badge?


*Attempt successful
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 13, 2016, 08:55:16 PM
Fuck I could go for those tesco finest beef steak and Spiced Mustard ones right now.

Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Bazooka on December 13, 2016, 09:32:51 PM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 13, 2016, 08:55:16 PM
Fuck I could go for those tesco finest beef steak and Spiced Mustard ones right now.

I will post some through your letter box shortly, in a packet or not.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: buttgammon on December 15, 2016, 12:07:15 AM
Can't find the Tesco Finest beef steak and spiced mustard ones here in Dublin; I had them during a trip to London. I'm going back to my native Wales for Christmas on Monday evening and the first thing on my itinerary is to go down to Tesco and buy a load of them.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: imitationleather on December 15, 2016, 12:13:39 AM
I ate an entire bag during Spurs v Hull. This thread made me do it, m'lud.

To be honest I wasn't that bowled over by them. Not such a meaty crisp fan.

The Co-Op Salt and Vinegar ones are King Crisp for me but I haven't had any for months now.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on December 15, 2016, 12:16:39 AM
Quote from: buttgammon on December 15, 2016, 12:07:15 AM
Can't find the Tesco Finest beef steak and spiced mustard ones here in Dublin; I had them during a trip to London. I'm going back to my native Wales for Christmas on Monday evening and the first thing on my itinerary is to go down to Tesco and buy a load of them.

They're not in Carmarthen Tesco's, if that saves you a trip.

And possibly nowhere else either, fuck's sake 2016.

(http://i.imgur.com/9V7H6Sj.png)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: buttgammon on December 15, 2016, 12:17:51 AM
Oh fuck!

For what it's worth, I'm going to be a stone's throw away from the absurdly big Tesco Extra in Wrexham so if they don't have them, nowhere will.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: imitationleather on December 15, 2016, 12:19:20 AM
When I got them in my local Tesco Express I did notice that they were the last bag they had. It was partly that which spurred me in to buying them as I'd gone in just for washing up liquid.

I could also afford the washing up liquid so it wasn't like I chose the crisps over clean plates or anything although obviously given the choice I would have done.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on December 15, 2016, 12:19:49 AM
Quote from: buttgammon on December 15, 2016, 12:17:51 AM
Oh fuck!

For what it's worth, I'm going to be a stone's throw away from the absurdly big Tesco Extra in Wrexham so if they don't have them, nowhere will.

The Beast Market! If anywhere's going to have them...
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Stoneage Dinosaurs on December 15, 2016, 12:29:09 AM
Quote from: Cloud on November 08, 2016, 11:38:18 PM
Currently eating a cheese, cucumber, cheese cucumber and salad cream sandwich crisps, and salad cream sandwich.

I call it a cheesecucumbersaladcreamsandwichception, and it is good.

They should do bread flavoured crisps to make the sandwiching process more simple.

Anyway, had a disappointing moment a while back where I found a much-craved packet of Roysters T-Bone steak crisps in a shop after being without them for over 2 years, only to find that they weren't as nice as I remember them being. More like WRONGsters (I'll edit this when I think of a better pun)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: buttgammon on December 15, 2016, 12:30:21 AM
Quote from: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on December 15, 2016, 12:19:49 AM
The Beast Market! If anywhere's going to have them...

The very same! I hope the beasts have given way to crisps.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on December 15, 2016, 12:27:05 PM
Quote from: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on December 15, 2016, 12:29:09 AMAnyway, had a disappointing moment a while back where I found a much-craved packet of Roysters T-Bone steak crisps in a shop after being without them for over 2 years, only to find that they weren't as nice as I remember them being. More like WRONGsters (I'll edit this when I think of a better pun)
They probably aren't as nice as they used to be, like the fate of so many crisps.
I used to love their southern fried chicken flavour, full on black-peppery goodness.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on December 15, 2016, 12:38:03 PM
Surprised there hasn't been a Walkers and Nestle crossover yet.  Kit Kat flavoured crisps would be disgusting but fast sellers, which is all that matters really.

There was a man with his cock out in Costcutters yesterday.  Try saying "cock out in Costcutters" twenty times fast.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on December 15, 2016, 12:54:54 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on December 15, 2016, 12:38:03 PM
Surprised there hasn't been a Walkers and Nestle crossover yet.  Kit Kat flavoured crisps would be disgusting but fast sellers, which is all that matters really.

Salt and Vinegar Kit-Kats mate. Wave of the future!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on December 15, 2016, 01:08:00 PM
Quote from: Blumf on December 15, 2016, 12:54:54 PM
Salt and Vinegar Kit-Kats mate. Wave of the future!

Doesn't even have to be Kit Kats if they'd rather do Yorkies or Maverick bars.  That's the beauty of it.

Prawn Cocktail Smarties mate.  Then the advert could say "wave of the future" with some prawns waving from some waves, like sea waves.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: A Car With No Doors on December 15, 2016, 01:24:55 PM
This thread reminds me I haven't had Nik-Naks in ages, and that they are probably the Best Crisp because effort has gone into both taste AND presentation. Fuck off with your thin sliver of potato bullshit.

Also, I don't really believe people actually enjoy Worcester Sauce. I think it is a myth.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: imitationleather on December 15, 2016, 01:25:49 PM
I enjoy Worcester Sauce.

Get a load of Mr. Mythbusters over here.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Blumf on December 15, 2016, 01:26:57 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on December 15, 2016, 01:08:00 PM
Prawn Cocktail Smarties mate.

Nah mate, you want meat flavours with Smarties. Orange for chicken, brown for beef, red for pork, and the yellow can be mustard.

Any other colour is a lie!
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Cuellar on December 15, 2016, 01:27:49 PM
I absolutely hate all crisps and have recently vowed to never eat a single bag more.

They're just salt. They make your mouth feel like shit and they're awful. Just awful.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 15, 2016, 01:45:41 PM
I prefer a flan
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on December 15, 2016, 04:07:46 PM
Quote from: Blumf on December 15, 2016, 01:26:57 PM
Nah mate, you want meat flavours with Smarties. Orange for chicken, brown for beef, red for pork, and the yellow can be mustard.

Any other colour is a lie!

Well you are allowed Prawn Cocktail Smarties and that's that.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: A Car With No Doors on December 15, 2016, 06:29:38 PM
Quote from: imitationleather on December 15, 2016, 01:25:49 PM
I enjoy Worcester Sauce.

No you don't.

Quote from: imitationleather on December 15, 2016, 01:25:49 PM
Get a load of Mr. Mythbusters over here.

Neither have you busted any myths: instead you're just perpetuating a lie fed to us for years by politicians and other such figures of authority.

Have any of you actually seen a crisp in real life? I bet you haven't. I know I haven't.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: HappyTree on December 19, 2016, 05:19:40 PM
I lamented the demise of McCoy's cheese and jalapeno and had been in a kind of crisp limbo since then. But a few weeks ago the supermarkets suddenly started buying these in:

(http://www.elmenyrandi.hu/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/chips_lays_strong_spicy_curry1.jpg)

Just spicy enough to leave a tingle. This + a garlic dip and I need never cook again.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Stoneage Dinosaurs on December 19, 2016, 06:51:32 PM
Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on December 15, 2016, 12:27:05 PM
Roysters southern fried chicken flavour

You fuckin what

Get me the crisp archive so that I can track these down
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Dex Sawash on December 20, 2016, 02:58:47 AM
Saw these yesterday, would not bang

(http://i.imgur.com/i7yxWGN.jpg)
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: New Jack on December 20, 2016, 03:21:41 AM
Gave up crisps. It's hard but I've conned myself into the logical conclusion that they are pointless to eat.

Gave up sugar too. Been a month. I'm lucid, energetic, and annoying. Fructose is allowed, I'm not mad. 

I don't drink tea or coffee anyway, so I'm further narrowing my avenues of smalltalk and fuelling rumours I'm an alien.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 20, 2016, 05:27:07 AM
What are you trying to achieve?

Also isn't fructose the worst one?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: New Jack on December 20, 2016, 05:40:00 AM
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 20, 2016, 05:27:07 AM
What are you trying to achieve?

Also isn't fructose the worst one?

Happiness

No

Where's the fruit thread,  and don't link to Social Injustice
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on December 20, 2016, 08:05:20 AM
Quote from: Dex Sawash on December 20, 2016, 02:58:47 AM
Saw these yesterday, would not bang

(http://i.imgur.com/i7yxWGN.jpg)

They aren't even biscuits, those.  And that isn't gravy either.

There is something actually wrong with this world.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: mrpupkin on December 20, 2016, 10:46:19 AM
Long time crisp reader first time crisp writer here, huge fan of the black pepper flavoured crisp. Kettle Chips and Marks and Spencer are the big horses in this race as far as I'm concerned - the Kettles are firmer with more sting to the pepper while the Marks are flakier and slightly milder so depends what mood/shop I'm in really. Can anyone recommend another black pepper crisp to take on these horses?
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on December 20, 2016, 11:04:36 AM
Scones & Cream of Mushroom Soup Flavour Potato Crisps.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: New Jack on December 20, 2016, 11:47:10 AM
What kind of person eats those packs of only plain Square crisps?

If you have to buy a crisp named after what you are, there you go. That's why I used to love Frazzles
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: ASFTSN on December 20, 2016, 12:16:08 PM
New Jack your brief posts in this thread remind me of Kevin Eldon's character talking to Sean Lock about what he misses from when he used to smoke cigarettes in Fifteen Storeys High. 'Ware this thread if you want to sty away from crisps!

And S+V Squares are actually really good if one doesn't want to commit to the delectable 5 hour flavour hum from a pack of McCoys.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: boki on March 19, 2017, 09:37:56 PM
Lads[nb]and birdlads[/nb], I've just had a packet of these fancy garlic and rosemary flavoured parsnip crisps that Aldi do and OH MAH GAWD you just gotta.  100g pack, just smashed down like it wasn't there.  I want more.
Title: Re: CRISPS, tho'
Post by: Replies From View on March 19, 2017, 10:41:44 PM
I was just thinking then about how great a snack would be that was built from baked guano pieces instead of maize or potato.  They could be flavoured with exactly the same flavours as ordinary maize and potato snacks, don't worry.