Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => Picture Box => Topic started by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 11:12:42 AM

Title: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 11:12:42 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37481440 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37481440)

Quote
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have visited a remote First Nation community in British Columbia on day three of their Canadian tour.

The pair were welcomed to the Great Bear Rainforest by Heiltsuk people from the island village of Bella Bella, and presented with traditional vests.

A wild bear, a falling tree, some utterly berserk Heiltsuk bastard with a beaver trap - how do you hope this pair of scroungers and their "what have they ever done of any worth?" spawn come a fucking cropper in a forest in the middle of nowhere?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on September 27, 2016, 11:34:44 AM
By their helicoptor landing on top of you.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Milverton on September 27, 2016, 11:35:07 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37481440 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37481440)

A wild bear, a falling tree, some utterly berserk Heiltsuk bastard with a beaver trap - how do you hope this pair of scroungers and their "what have they ever done of any worth?" spawn come a fucking cropper in a forest in the middle of nowhere?

Who else was on the guest list?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Buelligan on September 27, 2016, 11:41:19 AM
(https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/1*vQPmm_XLoqpjhg_scvM7uA.jpeg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MoonDust on September 27, 2016, 11:41:59 AM
I am getting more and more concerned about these overtly violent threads towards the royal family. What if the Murdoch press gets a whiff of it? We're doomed.

I hate the royals too, but christ, these descriptions of how to get rid of them are getting a bit much. I know it's a joke, like, but still. And I know I've been guilty of similar stuff in the past but hey.

Even the Bolshies allowed the Ramanovs - who were far far far worse than our royals - to be under house arrest and fed and live comfortably.[1]

Let's be more like the bolshies.

I'll start:

You know what I'd love to do with the Royal family? Give them a decent living quarter with clean clothes and hot meals everyday, but not by any means let them leave the house and be under armed guard from people who may wish to rescue them. That'll teach 'em!
 1. Before being shot dead.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 11:44:20 AM
You know what I'd love to do with the Royal family? Give them a decent living quarter with clean clothes and hot meals everyday, but not by any means let them leave the house and be under armed guard from people who may wish to rescue them. That'll teach 'em!

I'd like to give them decent quarters, too, after I'd given them decent hangers and decent drawers.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MoonDust on September 27, 2016, 11:46:19 AM
See, that's the spirit.

Now by "hot meal" I do mean a selection of edibles from Greggs.

They'd fucking hate that!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Buelligan on September 27, 2016, 11:48:54 AM
If I'm honest, I simply do not care about the Royal Family.  I never think of them, unless I see something on the news, in which case I think - the Royal Family, not interested, I won't read that and move on.

I can't really believe anyone (apart from deranged or very old people) takes any genuine interest in them, why would they?  It's a boring subject, just like the daily life of Katie Price or who is on Strickly Downton, what knickers Egg Wallace wears or any other teeth-drilling waste of these mavellous fragmentary moments of life before returning to dust and silence are.

Unless it makes you laugh, of course.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 11:49:57 AM
I hope a poorly affixed roof tile comes loose during a gale and takes their fucking heads off. Not necessarily in some woods in Canada, and ideally during Trooping The Colour. Imagine Huw Edwards trying to do some of his award winning commentating during that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MoonDust on September 27, 2016, 11:52:03 AM
I'd like to see the Queen watch a documentary on the Russian revolution and feel slightly disturbed, for an hour, before forgetting about it.

Think on, Lizzie!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 11:55:43 AM
Where are you while you're seeing the queen watch the documentary, and what weapons are you holding?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MoonDust on September 27, 2016, 11:57:54 AM
Outside the window, with a bag full of writings by Lenin and Trotsky.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Milverton on September 27, 2016, 11:59:46 AM
The media coverage always gets me down and I think it does more harm than good. Some royal reporters are more supine than others, but they are all dreadful. Your heart must sink the day you get called into the editor's office to be given that gig. "Witchelled, and never called me mother."

This trip is seemingly about a project to get all fifty-three Commonwealth nations to commit to preserve a section of indigenous forest in perpetuity. That's not a bad thing, is it? Plus the tribe seemed to enjoy showing off their beads, carvings and Toyota 4x4s.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Milverton on September 27, 2016, 12:00:58 PM
I'd like to see the Queen watch a documentary on the Russian revolution and feel slightly disturbed, for an hour, before forgetting about it.

Think on, Lizzie!

She must be reminded of it every time she meets up with her Tsar Nicholas lookalike cousin. Michael, is it?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MoonDust on September 27, 2016, 12:01:17 PM
Meanwhile I'll send a letter to Prince Charles outlining a model for a socially democratic British republic. Whilst not as extreme as a Bolshevik revolution, it'd certainly rattle his bones.

Either that or give him a book on brutalism and post-modernist architecture and how they can transform the face of neo-classical dominated U.K. cities. That'd frighten the life outta him!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 27, 2016, 12:01:31 PM
YAY! Royal Family Bullshit Royal Tour Watch Thread! Paging Attila...

Good to see Prince George is still a petulant little shit- when it comes to diplomacy it seems he's his great-grandfather's great-grandson:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/prince-george-justin-trudeau-as-royal-tour-of-canada-kicks-off_uk_57e7ddb4e4b004d4d862f10f (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/prince-george-justin-trudeau-as-royal-tour-of-canada-kicks-off_uk_57e7ddb4e4b004d4d862f10f)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MoonDust on September 27, 2016, 12:01:34 PM
She must be reminded of it every time she meets up with her Tsar Nicholas lookalike cousin. Michael, is it?

Well, yeah. I hear Christmas is always awkward round theirs.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 27, 2016, 12:07:53 PM
Isn't this cute- someone made a cake effigy of Charlotte! I just want to cut its hair, hands and feet off and put it in a piping bag and kick it:

(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/25/22/38CA32BC00000578-3806714-William_shared_a_tender_moment_with_three_month_old_at_Sheway-a-127_1474839127227.jpg)

They also made some doilies but Kate decided to wear them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 12:16:08 PM
Isn't this cute- someone made a cake effigy of Charlotte! I just want to cut its hair, hands and feet off and put it in a piping bag and kick it:

Cute. Though personally I'd rather shove all the bits in a piping bag and then go around waving it like a giant conical dick making crude wanking noises and squeezing it to make it look like "princess" Charlotte's remains was a big load of jizz that I was spunking all over the place. The royal "we"? The royal bukkake, more like.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 27, 2016, 12:19:14 PM
The media coverage always gets me down and I think it does more harm than good. Some royal reporters are more supine than others, but they are all dreadful. Your heart must sink the day you get called into the editor's office to be given that gig. "Witchelled, and never called me mother."

This trip is seemingly about a project to get all fifty-three Commonwealth nations to commit to preserve a section of indigenous forest in perpetuity. That's not a bad thing, is it? Plus the tribe seemed to enjoy showing off their beads, carvings and Toyota 4x4s.

1 square foot of forest - the rest to be bulldozed for property.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 27, 2016, 12:19:56 PM
Also which of you were responsible for this protest? Come on, own up:

'No Kings, No Landlords': Anti-Royalist protesters brandish makeshift GUILLOTINE as they storm day two of Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's tour (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3806833/No-Kings-No-Landlords-Anti-Royalist-protesters-brandish-makeshift-GUILLOTINE-storm-day-two-Duke-Duchess-Cambridge-s-tour.html)

(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/25/22/38CA70FA00000578-3806833-image-a-1_1474840168659.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on September 27, 2016, 12:21:11 PM

(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/25/22/38CA32BC00000578-3806714-William_shared_a_tender_moment_with_three_month_old_at_Sheway-a-127_1474839127227.jpg)


Who's Wills doing a quick oral favour for in that!?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on September 27, 2016, 12:21:38 PM
(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/25/22/38CA32BC00000578-3806714-William_shared_a_tender_moment_with_three_month_old_at_Sheway-a-127_1474839127227.jpg)

Keeping the 'ethnic' at a safe distance behind a glass barrier.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: biggytitbo on September 27, 2016, 12:28:56 PM
I wish our Royal family no real ill will other than perhaps they all get electrocuted to death and replaced with John Goodman.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 27, 2016, 12:30:34 PM
Royal Gossip (http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/index.php/topic,8933.0.html) coming up with the goods on Kate Middlebum as usual:

(http://67.media.tumblr.com/e6f3679525e001fc4fc7aad4c887c749/tumblr_oe33ctOKqF1tti0r3o3_r1_540.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on September 27, 2016, 12:34:09 PM
Either that or give him a book on brutalism and post-modernist architecture and how they can transform the face of neo-classical dominated U.K. cities. That'd frighten the life outta him!

Splitting hairs, I know - but I'm fairly sure the Jug-eared shit-for-brains little runt LIKES Post Modern architecture - because he's toocloth-eyed to be able to tell it apart from your actual classical or baroque.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 12:34:18 PM
It raises the interesting question of who gets to eat the underage royal vag in iced form. It has to be someone, and statistically it's likely to be one of her parents or her brother. Old school royal behaviour there.

What did you do at the weekend? Me? I ate a cake effigy of my daughter's nappied vagina.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MoonDust on September 27, 2016, 01:31:35 PM
Splidding hairs, I know - but I'm fairly sure the Jug-eared shid-for-brains liddle rund LIKES Posd Modern archidecdure - because he's doocloth-eyed do be able to dell id apart from your acdual classical or baroque.

Sorry, "splidding"?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: PowerButchi on September 27, 2016, 01:37:16 PM
Be careful everyone, you don't want to end up like the William Wallace of the C21st - Peter Dow

http://peter-dow.blogspot.com/

And here's his dating page on his website. Loves his tits to hips ratio

http://scot.tk/lookingforawoman.htm#top
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 27, 2016, 01:56:36 PM
It isn't against the law to sincerely hope certain people die.

Neither thought nor speech.

In actuality if they were murdered I would abhor the act but celebrate the result.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 27, 2016, 02:07:04 PM
It isn't against the law to sincerely hope certain people die.

Neither thought nor speech.

In actuality if they were murdered I would abhor the act but celebrate the result.

According to the treason acts which are still on the statute books, the following text hasn't yet been omitted:

Quote
If any person whatsoever shall, within the United Kingdom or without, compass, imagine, invent, devise, or intend to deprive or depose our Most Gracious Lady the Queen, from the style, honour, or royal name of the imperial crown of the United Kingdom ... every person so offending shall be guilty of felony, and being convicted thereof shall be liable to be transported beyond the seas for the term or his or her natural life.

I don't when Wills compassed or Kates imagined the deprivation of the royal name from the queen, but somehow they seem to have had that punishment imposed upon them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: doppelkorn on September 27, 2016, 02:14:27 PM
It isn't against the law to sincerely hope certain people die.

Neither thought nor speech.

In actuality if they were murdered I would abhor the act but celebrate the result.



Ahhhh you've done 'em there! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Loophole mate. They can't touch you!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: marquis_de_sad on September 27, 2016, 02:22:44 PM
I would abhor the act but celebrate the result.

Co-incidently, this is also how the Church views human procreation.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Clatty McCutcheon on September 27, 2016, 02:25:50 PM
I thought John Wanoa had her bang to rights a while back, and was coming over to depose her and establish a benign regime of MOAI Crown Rule and Tidal Turbine Energy Power over these islands for all time coming?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BritishHobo on September 27, 2016, 03:48:26 PM
Matt Smith plays nobody's favourite crusty old fucker in Netflix's new dystopian TV series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWtnJjn6ng0
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 27, 2016, 05:16:30 PM
YAY! Royal Family Bullshit Royal Tour Watch Thread! Paging Attila...

Good to see Prince George is still a petulant little shit- when it comes to diplomacy it seems he's his great-grandfather's great-grandson:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/prince-george-justin-trudeau-as-royal-tour-of-canada-kicks-off_uk_57e7ddb4e4b004d4d862f10f (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/prince-george-justin-trudeau-as-royal-tour-of-canada-kicks-off_uk_57e7ddb4e4b004d4d862f10f)

Huzzah!

Oh, I've been hearing all about the Mountie Tour; gotta pal back home (a different one to the one with the Henry VIII tea pot collection) who is otherwise sound and rational but loves all things royal family. She's been emailing me daily links about them two over theres eh in Canada. She also thinks Prince George is absolutely sweet and lovely. I'm planning to stage an intervention next time I'm back home.

Also this Trudeau fella is dishy.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on September 27, 2016, 05:22:31 PM
(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/25/22/38CA32BC00000578-3806714-William_shared_a_tender_moment_with_three_month_old_at_Sheway-a-127_1474839127227.jpg)

"...but I couldn't eat a whole one!"

"William!"


Royal Gossip (http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/index.php/topic,8933.0.html) coming up with the goods on Kate Middlebum as usual:

It's Pippa's arse they really want, though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 28, 2016, 10:21:02 AM
Wills and Kate eat giant phallic clam (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/canada-royal-tour-2016-kate-8928930)

"Presentationally they are very challenging" said Wills:

(http://www.geoduck.org/_assets/img/pages/about/row-2/row-2-right.jpg)

I bet it wasn't really a clam they ate, I bet it was really a moose penis and the locals were all laughing at them.

Up in the Northern territories Kate was clearly feeling the cold. Should have packed some lightly-padded bras, Kate:

(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/28/01/38DBAACA00000578-3810409-image-m-253_1475023667099.jpg)

...while Wills should have packed some looser trousers. FFS Wills, we don't need to see which one George came out of and which one Charlotte came out of:

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtYrIuCWAAA3H4r.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: doppelkorn on September 28, 2016, 10:33:37 AM
You love the royal family. Admit it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alien Or Sutin on September 28, 2016, 10:54:55 AM
...while Wills should have packed some looser trousers. FFS Wills, we don't need to see which one George came out of and which one Charlotte came out of:

They're not tight trousers. What he's done here:

(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/28/01/38DBAACA00000578-3810409-image-m-253_1475023667099.jpg)

Is find a place to hide all three of these:

(http://www.geoduck.org/_assets/img/pages/about/row-2/row-2-right.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BritishHobo on September 28, 2016, 01:09:29 PM
Do William and Kate make anyone else feel queasy? Their engagement was the first I really noticed them, they were white noise to me before that, but I found a load of 'William & Kate: Their Relationship' books in a WHSmith Clearance Outlet the other day and something about them just made me feel a bit ill. One of them was written by a Sun journalist, and the story of their relationship was told alongside the story of how great and lucky the Sun had been to get so many exclusives, like being the first to announce they were dating, or getting the first picture of them kissing. Why was anyone captivated by these two as a couple? They're hardly Ross and fucking Rachel.

Eurgh.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 28, 2016, 05:02:09 PM



Just making up for the lack of red clothing with a little moose knuckle, is all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 28, 2016, 05:09:57 PM
Do William and Kate make anyone else feel queasy?

Each other, I suspect.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on September 28, 2016, 05:42:57 PM
Be careful everyone, you don't want to end up like the William Wallace of the C21st - Peter Dow

http://peter-dow.blogspot.com/

And here's his dating page on his website. Loves his tits to hips ratio

http://scot.tk/lookingforawoman.htm#top

Wow. That's...unusual, to say the least. Glad to see he really thinks he'd struggle loving a racist though!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Gurke and Hare on September 28, 2016, 09:29:14 PM
And here's his dating page on his website. Loves his tits to hips ratio

http://scot.tk/lookingforawoman.htm#top

Wow. He's quite the catch.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on September 28, 2016, 11:57:28 PM
Just had a look at that website and this jumped out:

Quote
I have demonstrated some of my abilities as a man in this website which I have produced myself. Most men would have to pay someone to produce a website as good as this.

Hmm....
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Urinal Cake on September 29, 2016, 12:24:48 AM
Matt Smith plays nobody's favourite crusty old fucker in Netflix's new dystopian TV series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWtnJjn6ng0
Get the hagiography in early before the Royals do something stupid. Again. I expect she won WWII.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Rock on September 29, 2016, 12:34:21 AM
Kate, if you're reading - looking a bit tubby again.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: HupHupHup on September 29, 2016, 12:51:22 AM
The continual lionising of Pippa Middleton's perfectly un-noteworthy arse by the press was what turned me against the lot of them. A shower of blandly-bummed shit mate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on September 29, 2016, 02:31:17 AM
The continual lionising of Pippa Middleton's perfectly un-noteworthy arse by the press was what turned me against the lot of them. A shower of blandly-bummed shit mate.

How dare you. The Pippa Mudflaps are perhaps the most important relic in British history.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 29, 2016, 09:59:22 AM
Wills and Kate bravely stood next to a train (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3812091/Duke-Duchess-Cambridge-early-start-packed-day-beautiful-Canadian-gold-rush-town-Whitehorse.html)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/28/23/38E58E2700000578-3812091-image-m-3_1475102239402.jpg)

Kate wearing an actual nice outfit there... but really this post is just an excuse to share this picture of Wills looking egregiously bald (touchingcloth, where are you? Report to the thread, please).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on September 29, 2016, 10:01:37 AM
Kate, if you're reading - looking a bit tubby again.

I'm sure she'll send you her condolences, plus some tips on dieting and healthy eating.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 29, 2016, 10:18:11 AM
(http://i.mol.im/i/pix/2016/09/25/22/38CA32BC00000578-3806714-William_shared_a_tender_moment_with_three_month_old_at_Sheway-a-127_1474839127227.jpg)

"It's got a soggy bottom. I'm sure the Norland staff will deal with it."

Also the predictable, Mary and Paul have let themselves go.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 29, 2016, 12:48:00 PM
Spur of the moment. It must be awful to have your life choreographed by the second. Anyone fancy doing a coffee table book of "Royals pointing their fingers vaguely into the distance as if interested by some yokel shit"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 29, 2016, 05:27:43 PM
The bar's set pretty high with that sort of thing there

http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

Ooh! and the sequel

http://kimjongunlookingatthings.tumblr.com/
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on September 30, 2016, 02:33:48 AM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/28/23/38E58E2700000578-3812091-image-m-3_1475102239402.jpg)

"Sorry, that's the egg panini doing it's job, there..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 30, 2016, 05:15:10 AM
Last night we watched the Twilight Zone episode 'It's a Good Life.'

Turns out they made a sequel

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37513244

The little girl looks as if she's having an absolute blast, but then Ron Nasty comes over to take centre stage.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 30, 2016, 08:25:42 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37513244

At 0:44 did I really hear Wills call his son "Lazy boy"? Bit rich coming from Wills, even if George is evidently still a little shit.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 30, 2016, 08:36:38 AM
Their management must be taking the piss, all of Prince William's recent engagements have involved him stooping forward to display his savagely balding horseshoe to the world.

I wouldn't be surprised if an 8 year Royal visit to Japan is next on the agenda.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 30, 2016, 08:45:17 AM
Last night we watched the Twilight Zone episode 'It's a Good Life.'

Turns out they made a sequel

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37513244

The little girl looks as if she's having an absolute blast, but then Ron Nasty comes over to take centre stage.

The lack of fawning audio commentary makes this seem like a paedophilic voyeur's home video.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 30, 2016, 09:24:36 AM
At 0:44 did I really hear Wills call his son "Lazy boy"? Bit rich coming from Wills, even if George is evidently still a little shit.

Watching the little girl gleefully play with balloons, squealing with genuine delight: raised a smile from this joyless old stick.

Watching Prince Grimace slap at balloons apathetically then squeeze them while looking around disdainfully to see if people were watching him: put me right off my PopTarts.

I swear that kid never looks as if he's having any fun or interest in his surroundings at all.

'Feeding Christians to the lions again? <tuh>'

(http://i.imgur.com/zkmwO5o.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 30, 2016, 12:35:30 PM
Their management must be taking the piss, all of Prince William's recent engagements have involved him stooping forward to display his savagely balding horseshoe to the world.

I wouldn't be surprised if an 8 year Royal visit to Japan is next on the agenda.

They've already got him stroking Shetland ponies in that video Attila posted, I suspect a visit to a tribe of pygmies will be next.

Watching the little girl gleefully play with balloons, squealing with genuine delight: raised a smile from this joyless old stick.

Watching Prince Grimace slap at balloons apathetically then squeeze them while looking around disdainfully to see if people were watching him: put me right off my PopTarts.

I swear that kid never looks as if he's having any fun or interest in his surroundings at all.

Charlotte's behaviour in that clip is just reassuringly normal, to the point that it makes George's look even creepier. Just look at how they both react to the animals: Charlotte is all "OH HAI MISTER DOGGY" while George is totally cigs about getting to sit on a Shetland pony, and his dad even has to threaten to not let him get back down again to get him to half-heartedly stroke its mane. Even Wills had more childlike wonder for the animals there- maybe George was just wondering when he would be old enough to shoot them. He gives me the creeps.

Wasn't Wills supposedly a petulant little sod as a child, while Harry was (and still is) his polar opposite? I think I can see what's happening here- maybe in 15 years' time George will be no less dour while Charlotte will have grown up to become Banter Chas.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 30, 2016, 02:17:54 PM
On second thoughts, this video of Charlotte isn't so cute:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1eOJqtAnpY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1eOJqtAnpY)

Biggy would tell her to get inside the dog.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 30, 2016, 05:40:31 PM
Watching the little girl gleefully play with balloons, squealing with genuine delight: raised a smile from this joyless old stick.

I think "princess" The Little Girl Gleefully one is the worst of all the royals, in many ways. I'm not saying she should be put to death this instant, but I wouldn't be sorry to see her killed first and in the most awful manner.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 30, 2016, 05:45:40 PM
For example: clawed to death by hepatitis-ridden Nazi eagles.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 30, 2016, 06:40:12 PM
On second thoughts, this video of Charlotte isn't so cute:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1eOJqtAnpY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1eOJqtAnpY)

Biggy would tell her to get inside the dog.

Notice how Prince Antony[1] comes over the moment he sees his sister in the limelight, ready to wish her into the cornfield.
 1. for ref: http://ciscohouston.com/docs/docs/greats/its_a_good_life.html
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 30, 2016, 06:52:18 PM
Tell me the thought of George the Twat being blinded by rats doesn't make you squirm with delight.

Tell me it isn't the most succulent and delicious tonic.

Tell me it isn't vivid in your mind like a fantasy.

A rat raises its claw in the signal of victory.

Tell me it isn't soaring through you like poppers.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on September 30, 2016, 06:56:47 PM
I saw a calendar photo of George in a Buchanan Street newsagent yesterday, Glasgow of all places.

His dead eyed joyless face reminded me of one of those dead Edwardian children who had been propped up for family photos.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 01, 2016, 11:35:18 AM
Also this Trudeau fella is dishy.

Kate agrees (http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/kate-middleton-acknowledges-canadian-prime-minister-justin-trudeaus-uber-hotness):

(http://www.bravotv.com/sites/nbcubravotv/files/styles/blog-post--computer/public/field_blog_image/2016/09/jet-set-kate-middleton.jpg?itok=qa6IC2Z5&timestamp=1475087281)

KATE: "Oh wow, oh gosh, oh my, that's a lovely head of hair you have..." *swoons*
WILLS: [Cunt].
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 05, 2016, 06:43:10 PM
I've only just seen the creepy "Thank you Canada" video posted on Twitter by The Lazy Duo's "people".

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/782345864610217984)

No, there hasn't been a state funeral you've all missed, this video simply looks like it was produced for the BBC coverage of a state funeral. It also looks like a trailer for a horror film in which a privileged family go on holiday to Canada and all get eaten by bears.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Paul Calf on October 05, 2016, 07:34:45 PM
I've only just seen the creepy "Thank you Canada" video posted on Twitter by The Lazy Duo's "people".

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/782345864610217984)

No, there hasn't been a state funeral you've all missed, this video simply looks like it was produced for the BBC coverage of a state funeral. It also looks like a trailer for a horror film in which a privileged family go on holiday to Canada and all get eaten by bears.

Lars von Trier's let himself go.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dex Sawash on October 05, 2016, 07:43:38 PM
Why is this subject Picture Box and not Les Tosseurs General Bullshit?
Don't care where it goes at all, just wondering.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Birdie on October 06, 2016, 07:15:16 AM
I believe that threads are sometimes moved to the relative obscurity of Picture Box when Barry Admin is concerned about the attention they might attract.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on October 06, 2016, 12:19:27 PM
Why is this subject Picture Box and not Les Tosseurs General Bullshit?
Don't care where it goes at all, just wondering.

I thought that myself, but then I thought that it's entirely appropriate, as I quite like picturing all of these inbred fucktards in a box. A coffin box. Because they are dead. After having been raped to fuck.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 06, 2016, 02:06:26 PM
I've only just seen the creepy "Thank you Canada" video posted on Twitter by The Lazy Duo's "people".

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/782345864610217984)

No, there hasn't been a state funeral you've all missed, this video simply looks like it was produced for the BBC coverage of a state funeral. It also looks like a trailer for a horror film in which a privileged family go on holiday to Canada and all get eaten by bears.

Is it just my computer, or is it insta-filtered to fuck and playing in extended slow motion for everyone? Cos, yeah, that's how it looks here, and agreed, it's like the trailer to some grim death-by-clown horror film.

PS do they just not care how weird their time-travellers-from-1935 the kids look? Slo-mo George looks even more like a nasty little grump.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on October 06, 2016, 02:16:42 PM
some of you obvious motherfuckers are getting trolled by the royal family. shame on you for falling for it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: hamfist on October 06, 2016, 02:19:14 PM
fucking hell that video is weird !

I expect it to degenerate into apocalypse at any minute. Like they all look up in horror as the image saturates right out to white as the thermonuclear flash hits the lens, then as the camera recovers they're all on fire and being blasted to fuck.

Or maybe the camera jolts and swerves right around, and clownes are marching across a field with their big barbed cocks swinging around their knees and pterodactyls whirling overhead. And the camera comes back and Kate's on her knees, as into frame come two massive shoes.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on October 06, 2016, 02:59:19 PM
I've only just seen the creepy "Thank you Canada" video posted on Twitter by The Lazy Duo's "people".

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/782345864610217984)

No, there hasn't been a state funeral you've all missed, this video simply looks like it was produced for the BBC coverage of a state funeral. It also looks like a trailer for a horror film in which a privileged family go on holiday to Canada and all get eaten by bears.

Mute the video, and start it at the same time as you kick off the music from here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6kAwpgW29M (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6kAwpgW29M)

I don't want to turn the lights out tonight.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 06, 2016, 05:55:06 PM
It reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98lOJGTe1M0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98lOJGTe1M0)

I believe that threads are sometimes moved to the relative obscurity of Picture Box when Barry Admin is concerned about the attention they might attract.

Fair enough, but it's unusual to have this thread here when there isn't much Photoshopping in it.



Better rectify that:

(http://i63.tinypic.com/2m34aci.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on October 06, 2016, 07:09:37 PM
"Princess" Charlotte interfering with blue balls for not the last time in her life, there.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BritishHobo on October 07, 2016, 07:09:22 PM
Do you reckon there was ever a moment after Jimmy Savile died where the Queen or Prince Charles thought 'ah, it's a shame he'll never meet William and Kate's kids'.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Head Gardener on October 11, 2016, 10:37:30 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/zIoD2pO.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on October 11, 2016, 11:48:17 AM
"Low income person, 100 yards, five rounds rapid!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 14, 2016, 08:30:57 AM
It was interesting (stomach churning) on BBC breakfast this morning that they were talking about the death of the king and the clampdown on anything disrespectful in the media, to or public. The commentator said there was a personality cult around the king and his son was not well liked by the population.

With no hint of irony, Squeeee Naga, couldn't hide her relief that things like that were not possible in the UKir on the BBC
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on October 14, 2016, 10:41:14 AM
The Hussein Obamas have released a list (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/37644175/barack-obamas-gift-list-reveals-gem-covered-sculptures-and-matching-bikes) of all the gifts they received from royals and other foreign dignitaries over the past year.

The king of Saudi Arabia gifted a horse sculpture made of gold, silver, diamonds and other gemstones worth in the region of half a million dollars.

From the emir of Qatar, they received gold-plated clock mechanisms worth a quarter of a million dollars.

From Cuba, seven boxes of cigars.[1]

David Cameron gave a framed etching of Stonehenge, which seems like a woefully shitty gift by comparison. Until you consider what Banter Harry gave them.

Banter Harry's "gift" was a signed photograph. Of himself.

"Oh, modern...art, photography...this is...great...hey, Michelle, check out the picture. And, Harry, whose butt is this in the portrait?"

"It's MINE, your honour. Haha. Banter. Hahaha, Banter. You've been Bantered right up by prince Bantersaurus of Rex. POTUS? BANTERUS, more like. Haha. Banter."
 1. "The Cuban cigars were handed over to the Secret Service to dispose of." Yeah, I bet they disposed the shit out of those.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on October 14, 2016, 01:12:30 PM
It was interesting (stomach churning) on BBC breakfast this morning that they were talking about the death of the king and the clampdown on anything disrespectful in the media, to or public. The commentator said there was a personality cult around the king and his son was not well liked by the population.

With no hint of irony, Squeeee Naga, couldn't hide her relief that things like that were not possible in the UKir on the BBC

Sounds a bit like the BBC Sport article they did revealing that North Korea's Olympic medal winners are feted by the state with titles and honours, get plastered all over the media and receive a rapturous reception from adoring crowds on their return.

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/10/article-2200820-14F13209000005DC-440_964x500.jpg)

What an odd country.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on October 21, 2016, 03:11:35 PM
Diana's stepmum has carked it. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I am delighted.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on October 21, 2016, 03:19:04 PM
I'll always think of her as Barbara Cartland's daughter.

Young children may not know about Dame Cartland, but she may offer inspiration for Halloween:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/ee/Dame_Barbara_Cartland_Allan_Warren.jpg/407px-Dame_Barbara_Cartland_Allan_Warren.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 23, 2016, 02:38:14 PM
B'n'E are finally sick of doing proper jobs:

Queen 'at the centre of row between her sons as Prince Charles blocks Prince Andrew's request for Beatrice and Eugenie to be given full-time royal roles' (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3863928/Queen-centre-row-sons-Prince-Charles-blocks-Prince-Andrew-s-request-Beatrice-Eugenie-given-time-royal-roles.html)

Quote
Charles, 67, reportedly blocked the move, fearing an increase in the number of taxpayer-funded royals would threaten his popularity when he becomes king.

Chuck, no-one likes you anyway, you blithering gouty-handed bunglecunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 05, 2016, 12:26:38 PM
Check out this gouty-handed dunce:

Prince Charles tries out Oman sword dance (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37883092)

Quote
Prince Charles had a go at a sword dance during a royal visit to Oman.
The Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall are at the start of an official Middle East tour.

What exactly is the point of these inbred freaks?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Sam on November 05, 2016, 02:04:43 PM
Ci-devant cockroaches who should all be funnelled into meat grinders. They have no purpose, no fibre; they are contorted marionettes in a sick revue.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 08, 2016, 11:59:17 AM
Both the Guardian and BBC are currently reporting - as "breaking news" - that Harry has had his privacy violated by press speculation about whether he's in a relationship. Leaving aside the very impossibility for that to be breaking news in the truest sense of either word, perhaps the Hewitt cunt should renounce his royalship if he values his privacy more than his misappropriated wealth and his absolute nonsense excuses for careers.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: holyzombiejesus on November 08, 2016, 12:02:52 PM
The Guardian are reporting it more that he's complaining about the racist and mysoginsitic coverage rather than his privacy being invaded.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 08, 2016, 12:10:42 PM
The Guardian are reporting it more that he's complaining about the racist and mysoginsitic coverage rather than his privacy being invaded.

Bloody ginger kraut
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 08, 2016, 08:14:52 PM
Hmmmm, this new potential Princess Banter- American, mixed-race, divorcee... she's already among my picks for Death List MMXVII. I bet Prince Philip is busy haggling for another white Fiat Uno as I type.

I understand some nude photos of her have also been leaked but so fucking what- Banter Harry has already been there and done that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 08, 2016, 09:45:09 PM
Let's see these nudes.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 08, 2016, 10:20:19 PM
Wanting to view the nudes of a woman who conjoins her fluids with Inbred Helicopter Murderer is like coveting an eczema skin graft.

Outrageous, entitled and absurd. I hope an underwhelming maze scuppers their next charity drive.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 08, 2016, 11:15:13 PM
perhaps the Hewitt cunt should renounce his royalship if he values his privacy more than his misappropriated wealth and his absolute nonsense excuses for careers.

If Banter Harry had any sense he would abdicate, then he'd be free to grow old disgracefully with his American wife. They'd be like Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson, only Harry would be the one wearing the Nazi armband.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 09, 2016, 12:31:12 AM
Let's see these nudes.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 10, 2016, 12:00:09 AM
I hope they have been eaten by some sort of blind dune-dwelling worm golem. Along with the living bodies of all the 'family'.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 10, 2016, 12:13:51 AM
Why would anyone want to be photographed nude?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 10, 2016, 12:14:28 AM
Apart from an errant chimp of course, or mole rat
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BritishHobo on November 10, 2016, 07:37:13 AM
The Daily Mail is clearly fucked off about Harry's letter, but doesn't want to actually own up to that becau slagging off a royal is bad treason.

Apart from Sarah Vine, who's done a stampy-feet tantrum article.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on November 10, 2016, 11:37:52 AM
Wanting to view the nudes of a woman who conjoins her fluids with Inbred Helicopter Murderer is like coveting an eczema skin graft.

Ah, but sir, let me counter with the fact that Prince Bantz of Ledge does not want you to imbibe the nudie images. Doing so is an affront to him and troubles the not-so-young burden on humanity deeply. Bearing such in mind, do you still not want to look at the naked nobody's lady bits?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 10, 2016, 01:44:38 PM
No, because there are so so many better ways of irritating him, such as disposing of the gored corpses of his family members in a disused grain silo.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 11, 2016, 11:03:34 PM
Someone please batter the living pair of bollocks off of each of these grasping Cunts, especially the little vagina having one.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on November 18, 2016, 12:34:39 PM
Quote
The Government has announced funding for the Royal Family will almost double for the next ten years to fund renovation of Buckingham Palace

Quote
The Government says a ten-year refit at Buckingham Palace will cost £369m in order to "future-proof" the residence

Incidentally, just ten days ago the benefit cap was brought down to £20k a year including rent, reducing the income of 40,000 single parent families by as much as £7k a year.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: fit bird on November 18, 2016, 12:42:52 PM
It is estimated that the benefits of the upgrade, including longer summer opening hours, more private tours and savings due to the improvements, could be worth around £3.4m each year. So when you really think about it, it'll pay for itself in no time.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on November 18, 2016, 12:45:09 PM
Before Liz carks it, probably.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on November 18, 2016, 01:00:35 PM
Spend the £369m to knock down Buckingham Palace and build a multistorey carpark on the site imo.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Thomas on November 18, 2016, 01:09:57 PM
'Future-proofing' the palace.

Is it possible - or just conspiratorial of me to imagine - that there might be a bit of 'future-proofing' in recent popular media regarding the royal family? ITV's Victoria and Netflix's The Crown, for example. I wonder if the image of royalty is being warmed up to prepare for the Queen's demise. Keeping the idea of royalty popular for when they have to pass the throne on to the next guy.

Might just be telly though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on November 18, 2016, 01:20:42 PM
That's been underway since Diana was murdered and they realised how unpopular they actually were. They've spent millions on PR and it's done wonders for them.

The problem for them of course is that "Prince" William is slowly starting to look like his dad, and it's getting harder and harder to cover up how boring him and his wife are. Expect another backlash soon enough. It's only Banter Harry keeping them going at this point.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Absorb the anus burn on November 18, 2016, 01:25:15 PM
Some great comments on The Independent story.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/royal-family-funding-money-double-the-queen-prince-william-kate-harry-taxpayer-a7424641.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/royal-family-funding-money-double-the-queen-prince-william-kate-harry-taxpayer-a7424641.html)

(https://s12.postimg.org/cuzy21uz1/Screen_Shot_2016_11_18_at_13_16_42.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Thomas on November 18, 2016, 01:35:29 PM
That's been underway since Diana was murdered and they realised how unpopular they actually were. They've spent millions on PR and it's done wonders for them.

The problem for them of course is that "Prince" William is slowly starting to look like his dad, and it's getting harder and harder to cover up how boring him and his wife are. Expect another backlash soon enough. It's only Banter Harry keeping them going at this point.

I think Banter is looking even more like Charles now, but perhaps that's just a plastic surgery measure to stem gossip about James Hewitt.

This trifling matter of £369m might tip the tide of public opinion, especially as it's so poetically close to that mythical weekly £350m.

I must express my disagreement with the thread title, while I'm here. I just hope they get democratically dethroned, and the very idea of 'a royal family' looked back upon as a bit of embarrassment.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on November 18, 2016, 01:43:15 PM
I find it bizarre that benefit claimants are so vilified when these fuckers are leeching hundreds of millions off the state. It goes to show what a relentless spew of media propaganda can do.

That's been underway since Diana was murdered and they realised how unpopular they actually were. They've spent millions on PR and it's done wonders for them.

The problem for them of course is that "Prince" William is slowly starting to look like his dad, and it's getting harder and harder to cover up how boring him and his wife are. Expect another backlash soon enough. It's only Banter Harry keeping them going at this point.

A few times recently, I've found myself feeling more positive that public opinion is changing against the monarchy but every time I start to feel optimistic, I recall the effect PR has had in the past and wonder what it would take for them to permanently lose the public's sympathies. I've been a republican for a long time now and even to me, it seems more absurd the more I look at it. Living in a republic has made the monarchy seem even more ridiculous, which I didn't think was possible. Looking at the amount of money the country spends on the monarchy while diverting it from other sources, it is absolutely unjustifiable. True, any head of state costs money but compare this to, say, the President of Ireland (who I think actually asked to take a pay cut, who was democratically elected, and who is a charming and endearing old man who looks like a little gnome who has a dignity and decency the royal family could only dream of) and the royals are hardly value for money.

I've always wondered if public opinion would harden after the Queen's death but again, I suspect another PR campaign could get them out of a jam. That said, I know Prince Charles and Prince William are unpopular and I hope that when people see a head of state they dislike being forced upon them, they will realise that the monarchy is an expensive, outdated, undemocratic sham.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Absorb the anus burn on November 18, 2016, 01:47:05 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/nov/18/buckingham-palace-to-undergo-370m-refurbishment#comments (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/nov/18/buckingham-palace-to-undergo-370m-refurbishment#comments)

The Guardian comments are worth reading too!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 18, 2016, 01:48:36 PM
Buck Palace is a heap of shit. There was some doc about it recently and most of the rooms apart from the ones you normally see, are like 1960s pantries or NHS vomitoriums.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 18, 2016, 01:49:59 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/nov/18/buckingham-palace-to-undergo-370m-refurbishment#comments (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/nov/18/buckingham-palace-to-undergo-370m-refurbishment#comments)

The Guardian comments are worth reading too!

Didn't take many scrolls (0.1) to get to the meat

Quote
nikkisixx 1m ago

Rather have money spent on this than wasted on other rubbish. Least it will look nice. Better than spending it on bombs, tax breaks for the rich or benefits for those who cannot be asked to get out of bed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on November 18, 2016, 01:51:56 PM
A few times recently, I've found myself feeling more positive that public opinion is changing against the monarchy but every time I start to feel optimistic, I recall the effect PR has had in the past and wonder what it would take for them to permanently lose the public's sympathies. I've been a republican for a long time now and even to me, it seems more absurd the more I look at it. Living in a republic has made the monarchy seem even more ridiculous, which I didn't think was possible. Looking at the amount of money the country spends on the monarchy while diverting it from other sources, it is absolutely unjustifiable. True, any head of state costs money but compare this to, say, the President of Ireland (who I think actually asked to take a pay cut, who was democratically elected, and who is a charming and endearing old man who looks like a little gnome who has a dignity and decency the royal family could only dream of) and the royals are hardly value for money.

I've always wondered if public opinion would harden after the Queen's death but again, I suspect another PR campaign could get them out of a jam. That said, I know Prince Charles and Prince William are unpopular and I hope that when people see a head of state they dislike being forced upon them, they will realise that the monarchy is an expensive, outdated, undemocratic sham.

It's the absurdity of it that gets me, as well as the mediocrity of the current royal family.

Whoever you are, whatever you achieve you can never be the head of state of this country, unless you were born into it. That's lunacy isn't it?

And for all the YOU WANT PRESIDENT BLAIR DO YOU? stuff from pro-Royalists...at least if it was President Blair someone would have fucking voted for him. I'm quite open to President Blair if that's what the people want.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bingo Fury on November 18, 2016, 06:07:06 PM
Quote
nikkisixx 1m ago

Rather have money spent on this than wasted on other rubbish. Least it will look nice. Better than spending it on bombs, tax breaks for the rich or benefits for those who cannot be asked to get out of bed.

Is that one of those "another think/thing coming" phrases? Are there swathes of people who go about their daily lives in the belief that the term is "can't be asked"?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 19, 2016, 11:45:43 AM
IPSO have ruled that pictures of Beatrice on a boat breached her privacy. So enjoy them, you cunts.

(http://i.imgur.com/lNFnZvf.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on November 19, 2016, 11:51:00 AM
She's rubbing Yakult into her chest while filming it on a webcab, the dirty royal!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 19, 2016, 06:21:06 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Qw4rLkI.jpg)

I haven't read beyond the headline, and I don't plan to. If they follow the lead of their mummy and daddy, though, then simple aspirations are exactly what they're going to have.

What do you want to do when you grow up, little boy piss sack?

I want to fly helicopters, but not, like, fly them fly them.

And what about you, little girl piss sack?

I want to do charity work, but not, like, work work.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 20, 2016, 02:42:07 PM
^^^ I had been about to post that. I suppose Evil George won't need to have any aspirations as he's going to be king anyway, good idea to let Charlotte down gently though - "Sorry love, he's the heir and you're the spare, get used to it".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 20, 2016, 03:34:05 PM
A few times recently, I've found myself feeling more positive that public opinion is changing against the monarchy but every time I start to feel optimistic, I recall the effect PR has had in the past and wonder what it would take for them to permanently lose the public's sympathies.

I'm not sure the royals really are that popular at the moment- I see a lot of positive stories about the royals, but underneath them I see lots of negative comments from disgruntled subjects. To me it seems that the royal PR machine has just massively ramped up its activity over the last ten years or so and is somehow getting media outlets to publish loads of sycophantic garbage, and to tone down coverage of the more sleazy and controversial stuff.

Over on the Royal Gossip forum there are suggestions that Kensington Palace monitor newspaper comments, and plenty of negative comments disappear from under Daily Mail articles, and "we are no longer accepting comments on this article" seems to appear very quickly whenever the comments are mostly negative.

I remember when the CoDmother turned 100 and the BBC filmed a seemingly big crowd of well-wishers outside Buckingham Palace, before other news outlets reported that the actual number was very low and the BBC had filmed the crowd to try and make it look bigger than it was. I see a lot of that still goes on- I'm proud to say that royal visits in Scotland seem particularly poorly-attended, but journalists will describe huge non-existent crowds rather than dare to admit that no-one really gave a toss about glimpsing a royal. I saw several pics from the India/Bhutan tour showed very sparse crowds, but I guess they had to be hidden for the royals to keep justifying the cost of these things.

I agree that Banter Harry is the royals' only asset at the moment. That's why he keeps being wheeled out to join Baldy and Donothing on their charity visits- the palace know they're unpopular and need all the help they can get. They must have thought their PR work would do itself after the last royal wedding when everyone thought the royal couple were a great bunch of lads, but Wills'n'Waity simply haven't turned out to be the photogenic, charismatic, down-to-earth modern royals they had hoped for.

On the subject of the PR machine, I do find it odd that Charles apparently refused to give Beatrice and Eugenie full-time royal roles because he thought that having two more people on the royal payroll would affect his popularity- does he really think that a £369 million renovation of a palace won't dent the popularity of the royals? I suppose with the palace they can at least pretend they're doing it for our benefit, maybe the renovation is just easier to get away with than granting Andrew and Fergie's kids an allowance to spend on more horrible frocks.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 20, 2016, 06:18:03 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Qw4rLkI.jpg)


And what about you, little girl piss sack?

I want to do charity work, but not, like, work work.

KEEP WRAPPING
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 20, 2016, 07:31:26 PM
KEEP WRAPPING

NEVER FORGET:

I DON'T KNOW KATE MIDDLETON BUT SHE SEEMS LIKE A LOVELY PERSON (https://youtu.be/BGGw0t27G7c)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 20, 2016, 10:24:06 PM
Thrusting out her lower jaw like FDR. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on November 21, 2016, 01:24:48 AM
Prince William wants George and Charlotte to have 'simple aspirations'

£369 Buckingham Palace renovation.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 21, 2016, 02:00:52 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/7omDyiw.jpg) (http://imgur.com/7omDyiw)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on November 21, 2016, 05:36:07 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/7omDyiw.jpg) (http://imgur.com/7omDyiw)

"Sorry, it's just that I've never met one of 'your people' before."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 21, 2016, 05:57:28 PM
"Sorry, it's just that I've never met one of 'your people' before."

I'm going to assume that Michelle is the one who said that and then quietly got the hell out of there.

The duchess looks as if she's auditioning for Clueless.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 21, 2016, 06:46:24 PM
Banter Harry's neverending gap yah continues:

Prince Harry in Antigua for 'formal but fun' Caribbean tour (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38046645)

Quote
The prince will visit six countries where the Queen is head of state- Antigua and Barbuda, Barbados, Grenada, St Kitts and Nevis, St Lucia, and St Vincent and the Grenadines

Nice work if you can get born into it...

Quote
A Kensington Palace source said the tour would have a "formal feel" but there would be "plenty of fun".

Quite right too- all that shagging Hollywood actresses has probably worn out the poor boy, he deserves a holiday. Don't work too hard, Banter!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 21, 2016, 07:08:20 PM
The murderer should be spending his gap yah covered in mucus in a jail cell.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 21, 2016, 07:16:00 PM
Formal but fun Caribbean tour.

Formal but fun exclusive nanny service.

Formal but fun £369million palace refurb.

Formal but fun questions of ginger heredity.

Formal but fun hairplugs necesssary immediately.

Formal but fun useless mallow sibling.

Formal but fun gouted to fuck digits.

Formal but fun paedophilic regicide. 

Formal but fun guillotine fest.

Formal but fun Fiat Uno smashathon.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 23, 2016, 09:30:45 AM
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/B447/production/_92615164_telegraph23-11.jpg)

Appropriate wording from the telegraph describing her in-laws.

She looks GONE in that photo too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 23, 2016, 06:49:19 PM
She looks GONE in that photo too.

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/29/18/38ED89C200000578-3814262-image-a-76_1475171926753.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/25/04/38C4097A00000578-3805952-image-a-66_1474774847739.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/14/13/3961AFD000000578-3837931-image-m-86_1476447062885.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 23, 2016, 06:55:41 PM
Meanwhile, Banter Harry continues to work hard for us:

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/11/22/07/3AA3588B00000578-3959508-image-m-35_1479800887107.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/11/22/07/3AA4B23200000578-3959508-image-m-27_1479799652167.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/11/21/23/3A9F28BD00000578-0-Howzat_Harry_The_prince_whacks_a_ball_out_to_the_boundary_as_a_f-a-1_1479771448643.jpg)

Also: BALDNESS, THY NAME IS BANTER:

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/11/21/23/3A9F560900000578-0-Harry_hits_the_dab_again_performing_the_popular_dance_move_with_-a-3_1479771448651.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Urinal Cake on November 23, 2016, 06:58:58 PM
I support Banter Harry and his efforts to repair the damage caused by colonialism through dance.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 23, 2016, 07:20:21 PM
The comments on the Daily Heil article are amusing- lots of people complaining that Gaston Browne, Prime Minister of Antigua, shouldn't have told Harry "You can have your honeymoon on Antigua LOL" and should have respected his privacy and behaved with a bit more decorum in the presence of a prince. FFS, the whole world has seen Harry's naked hairy ginger arse, it's a bit late for that now.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 23, 2016, 07:35:31 PM

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/14/13/3961AFD000000578-3837931-image-m-86_1476447062885.jpg)

Why did they photoshop out the person who was Heimliching her?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 23, 2016, 10:00:07 PM
Kick their bloody teeth out.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 24, 2016, 06:58:53 PM
Just look at this one:

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/29/18/38ED89C200000578-3814262-image-a-76_1475171926753.jpg)

If five years of endless holidays, the odd film premiere, a few rugby matches and having their sprogs brought up by nannies has aged them this much then I take back any suggestion I may have made about forcing them to do some actual work- the poor lambs would self-destruct.

Then again, ATOS would probably still pass them as fit for work, unless they have a TOO INBRED TO WORK rubber stamp- and they probably do.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Mr Eggs on November 27, 2016, 07:22:37 PM
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/celebrity/celebrity-news/princess-beatrice-cuts-ed-sheerans-face-with-a-sword-20161127-gsyq7s.html

So she was doing a comedy knighting routine on James Blunt and sliced Ed Sheeran up? Bollocks. She was harvesting Blunt's pointy little head and that ginger cunt stopped her.

Quote
But, The Sun reported that when Princess Beatrice lifted the sword to tap him lightly on the shoulder, she accidentally swung it back, cutting Sheeran on the cheek.

Yeah. Right.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phil_A on November 27, 2016, 07:54:32 PM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/29/18/38ED89C200000578-3814262-image-a-76_1475171926753.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/25/04/38C4097A00000578-3805952-image-a-66_1474774847739.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/14/13/3961AFD000000578-3837931-image-m-86_1476447062885.jpg)

Looks like she's on the verge of cracking, Lucy Saxon style. It's like she's had a sudden realisation of the horror she's bought into the world. Maybe the Royal Handlers are keeping her dosed up after one too many screaming fits.

In that top picture she's thinking "One quick squeeze and I could end this now...just one..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phil_A on November 27, 2016, 08:03:32 PM
£369 Buckingham Palace renovation.

£30,000 fucking rattle that looks like a tacky novelty you'd buy in a gift shop. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/05/01/princess-charlottes-first-birthday-30000-gold-rattle-among-prese/)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 01, 2016, 10:40:28 AM
... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...


Rich waste of resources meets famous woman, TWICE IN ONE DAY!!!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38165415
Quote
Prince Harry has met Barbados's biggest star, Rihanna, twice in a day at events marking 50 years of independence.

At an afternoon event in Bridgetown, Prince Harry kept the singer waiting as he stopped to greet the president of Guyana first, before turning to her.

Rihanna, who has had eight UK number ones and 29 UK top 10 hits, stood to greet the prince, who said: "Hello, it's very nice to meet you."

The pair later sat side-by-side on stage at a celebratory concert.

Twice!!!!

Most people you'd only meet once, but he managed to meet someone twice in the same day!!

Fucking amazing innit?!!

Mind blown!

... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...     ... BREAKING NEWS ...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 01, 2016, 10:57:58 AM
If this thread achieves anything, it's that it makes you really lament Tommy Mair's paucity of ambition.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 09, 2016, 01:59:33 PM
Prince Harry shagging on our dime and lying to the press about it:

Prince Harry breaches Royal policy as he jets off to see Meghan Markle at end of Caribbean tour (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/06/prince-harry-breaches-royal-policy-jets-see-meghan-markle-end/)

Quote
Prince Harry has risked criticism over the use of taxpayers’ money after he flew to Canada to see his girlfriend Meghan Markle rather than returning to London after his Caribbean tour.

Kensington Palace had explicitly stated that the Prince, 32, would be flying straight back to London at the end of the tour, because he has public engagements in the UK to fulfil this week.

But instead, the Prince cancelled his seat on the British Airways flight home, and made a 1,700-mile detour to Toronto to see the woman from whom he cannot bear to be parted.

His trip was in contravention of official Palace policy that working visits should not be combined with personal travel.

Hmmm...

Quote
Although the Prince paid for his own ticket to Canada

Awwww, how sweet! I wonder where an unemployed soldier managed to find the cash... oh...

Quote
the cost of diverting at least one police protection officer to Toronto to guard him will be met by the taxpayer.

Also shagging on Canada's dime.

Lying to the press is not a good idea, Prince Banter- right now you workshy inbreds need all the good press you can get:

http://www.inquisitr.com/3778407/prince-harry-comes-under-scrutiny-for-romantic-canada-detour-to-visit-girlfriend-meghan-markle/ (http://www.inquisitr.com/3778407/prince-harry-comes-under-scrutiny-for-romantic-canada-detour-to-visit-girlfriend-meghan-markle/)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 09, 2016, 03:25:21 PM
Also, linked to in today's Popbitch email:

http://popbitch.com/home/2016/12/08/part-iii-battle-royal/ (http://popbitch.com/home/2016/12/08/part-iii-battle-royal/)

Quote
On the same day that Harry made his statement about the press, his girlfriend, Meghan Markle, had some lawyers write to IPSO on her behalf, asking them to tell their members to back off. Her lawyers also warned that, in taking an interest in her life and her fledgling relationship, the Editor’s Code was in serious danger of being breached.

They claimed that the UK media:
– “…is unfairly and wrongly creating a market for coverage and intrusive speculation about our client’s private life”
– “…should not publish material obtained as a consequence of harassment (anywhere) whether outside the jurisdiction of UK”
– “…should not under any circumstances harass our client if and on any occasion she is visiting the United Kingdom”

Reading between the lines here, it seems that not only are the English media being held accountable for any harassment that Meghan and her family suffer when they’re in the UK, they’re being held accountable for any harassment they endure anywhere.

Basically this was a warning that if any photographer or publication anywhere in the world writes anything bad about her, or attempts to photograph her, then the UK is going to be blamed – so it’s up to them to make sure it doesn’t happen.

It’s a smart, if slightly mafia-flavoured, move. You can’t go after the US media because of that pesky First Amendment, so you head to Europe (where Article 8 of the ECHR protects a person’s right to privacy) and you shake them down instead. You make the US media their problem. Rein them in, you say, or we’ll hold you responsible for it.

Interesting stuff about IPSO, the body that replaced the PCC, in there too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 09, 2016, 06:03:31 PM
Was great to see the fams influence exerted during the hacking trial

Oh wait

Almost like as per usual they only start giving a shit when it affects them personally.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 09, 2016, 11:08:02 PM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/11/21/23/3A9F560900000578-0-Harry_hits_the_dab_again_performing_the_popular_dance_move_with_-a-3_1479771448651.jpg)

HARRY: My tears for Africans.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 14, 2016, 08:22:16 AM
a wonderful festive cuntfest

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-38304158 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-38304158)

Quote
"He then squeezed one of thehis berries on it and was like 'I find this stuff weird' and then she was like 'oh, I really like it'.

Quote
"Then he wanked off with the tree on his shoulder, holding her hand, and she was holding in her other hand a bunch of mistletoe."

The real cunts in the story

(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/76BB/production/_92959303_ollycianjonty.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on December 14, 2016, 09:18:16 AM
Why doesn't the one that's married to Kate shave that ridiculous bit of hair off?  Look pal you're bald, face it.  Get a diamond encrusted 12 blade Faberge bic out and have done with it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 14, 2016, 01:10:25 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/76BB/production/_92959303_ollycianjonty.jpg)

Christmas at Hogwarts has become "major twatfest".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 14, 2016, 02:20:22 PM
He was like "I find this stuff really weird", and she was like "oh, I really like it."


End them with axes immediately.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 14, 2016, 02:30:03 PM
Quote
Kensington Palace said it would not comment on the matter.[/size]


Why would they? Why would anyone? Why would you even ask for a comment? How would you even ask for a comment?


"We've heard from our sources that Harry has bought a Bantermas tree."


"..."


"Can you comment on Harry buying a tree?"


"Get in the fucking tower."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 14, 2016, 06:58:38 PM
Palace press office send BBC a story about Prince Harry buying a christmas tree.

BBC journalist "Can we get a comment from the Palace regarding this story?"

"No"

BBC journalist smirks and files another hefty payslip in the cabinet.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 14, 2016, 07:39:35 PM
Banterprince Balding Fast

Not long now

Days even
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 14, 2016, 10:54:52 PM
What's that on your bonce, my liege?


A diaphanous wisp of Hewitt.


Can I have one also, sire?


Roger, and aye, if you suckle on the balding royal dong.


Forsooth. And what garb, what vestments must an interminable whelp such as I don when imbibing of thine reddish member?


Brocade.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 18, 2016, 11:16:43 AM
PR firm priming again.

Fozzy Bear gets his own special puff piece

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38355368 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38355368)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 18, 2016, 12:01:03 PM
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/79AF/production/_93015113_mediaitem93015112.jpg)

suck back, he's morphing into rory mcgraph(sp?). the cunts
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 18, 2016, 12:04:00 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/17BD9/production/_93014279_338a7a93-4a03-4dd9-963e-fb1ab900ca5b.jpg)

state of it! one hundred & fifty eight years of sickening privilege & they can only muster up one shit eating grin between them. 
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 18, 2016, 12:46:39 PM
If you stare at the queen for a bit, she ages hideously
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 18, 2016, 12:51:50 PM
nah... i don't like looking at her for too long.

there's a little dot of something on my monitor, when i scroll it to just the right place ol' queenie gets a biindi. imagine how furious that would make prince phil!? the cunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: shiftwork2 on December 18, 2016, 12:52:17 PM
This country is fucking bonkers isn't it?  In a bad way.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 18, 2016, 01:29:42 PM
Interesting happenings over at my guilty pleasure, the Royal Gossip forum- ie, the forum which is even more scathing about the royals than we are:

http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/index.php/topic,8994.0.html (http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/index.php/topic,8994.0.html)
   
Quote
MOVED: Prince Harry is dating Meghan Markle V
« on: December 16, 2016, 02:45:05 pm »
This topic has been moved to Members Only Board.

http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/index.php?topic=8991.0

Thank you for your patience with this. Mods are discussing the best way to research and vet the large volume of members applying.  That takes time and we don't have a large staff to handle it all.  As soon as this is stabilized we'll reopen it.  Thanks again!  YM

There's been a lot of discussion of Meghan Markle- five threads so far, she's like their very own Corbyn- and now discussion is restricted to the top secret members' only forum[1] and members are vetted, presumably because Kensington Palace and Quentin Letts are lurking and want in. Along with that unprecedented "leave my bird alone" letter from Banter Harry and that Popbitch article detailing the legal threats from Mrs Banter's people, this is all getting rather creepy.

All those inane articles about Bants and Meghan being "spotted" doing mundane things, wearing matching bracelets etc seem to be part of some big plan to micromanage the public's perception of this relationship too. I reckon it must be pretty serious and Meghan is being groomed to be Princess Banter, like the time when Waity Katie was given a bodyguard and that signalled that she was about to join The Firm. So romantic, aren't they? Anyway, I wouldn't be at all surprised if we get a 2017 royal wedding or if Prince Philip is spotted haggling for a second white Fiat Uno.
 1. Damn, I'm going to have to register now, aren't I? I want to see what sordid stuff is in there...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 18, 2016, 02:22:34 PM
No tomb for Elizabeth and Charles, no long slow sleep of death embalmed. Burned like the heathen kings of old.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 18, 2016, 06:38:24 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/17BD9/production/_93014279_338a7a93-4a03-4dd9-963e-fb1ab900ca5b.jpg)

Is it just me or does Charles have a fat hand?

No tomb for Elizabeth and Charles, no long slow sleep of death embalmed. Burned like the heathen kings of old.

Meanwhile, Phillip will be roused out of his racist slumber and encouraged to take charge again. He has no hope of victory, but he will face them nonetheless.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 18, 2016, 07:54:46 PM
Is it just me or does Charles have a fat hand?

GOUT.

(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/17BD9/production/_93014279_338a7a93-4a03-4dd9-963e-fb1ab900ca5b.jpg)

"Oh Mummy, when will you just do the decent thing and die, heheheh?"

[Never son, never. I am in league with David Icke's Lizard People and Brucie, dream on sunshine]
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Serge on December 18, 2016, 08:00:42 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/17BD9/production/_93014279_338a7a93-4a03-4dd9-963e-fb1ab900ca5b.jpg)

state of it! one hundred & fifty eight years of sickening privilege & they can only muster up one shit eating grin between them.

This looks like one of those movie posters where they couldn't actually get the cast together for a group shot and have just badly photoshopped them into one hideously unrealistic image. It is a 'shop, isn't it? They're not in the same room.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 18, 2016, 10:04:04 PM
If you stare at the queen for a bit, she ages hideously

Forsyth isn't the only one who has a Dorian Gray-style portrait in his loft...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 20, 2016, 11:33:53 AM
Time to retire, ma'am?

"Time to die"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: ollyboro on December 20, 2016, 11:38:18 AM
Cocks and tits bitten off by a pack of rabid corgis.....In the study.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on December 20, 2016, 12:08:06 PM
Forsyth isn't the only one who has a Dorian Gray-style portrait in his loft...

Only the queen's painting isn't in the loft: it's walking around married to her grandson Boom-Tishhhhhh.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 20, 2016, 12:50:01 PM
Karma to anyone who can stomach photoshopping that picture so that Charles is wopping out his fat, gouty cock, which is certainly an act which would explain both of their expressions.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 20, 2016, 12:58:12 PM
Time to retire, ma'am?

Quote
I've seen things you plebs wouldn't believe. Paraplegic sons of empire rowing a ridiculous barge. I watched Micahael Fagan leap naked in the dark over the Buckingham palace gates. All those moments will be lost in time, like signets on Charles. Time to retire.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285)

Rutger Hauer's let himself go.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 20, 2016, 02:14:38 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285)


Rutger Hauer's let himself go.

That's really good
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 20, 2016, 06:47:28 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/17BD9/production/_93014279_338a7a93-4a03-4dd9-963e-fb1ab900ca5b.jpg)

"I WANT MORE LIFE... FUCKER!!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 20, 2016, 10:55:57 PM
This is a rather nice demonstration - if demonstration be needs be - of where Wills picked up his nation beating laziness. What does it mean, exactly, to step down from a job when your job involves literally no work? I'd have more respect from some millennial cunt publicly and lavishly announcing that they were giving up political activism, and meaning by it that they were no longer go to retweet hashbooks on The MyBo.

And this is also a rather nice demonstration - if demonstration be needs be - of where Chas picked up his gouty digits. Look at queenie's fucking graspers! She looks like one of them machines from off of open face coal mining.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 21, 2016, 05:22:41 AM
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/001D/production/_89892000_89891999.jpg)

that is really is a lovely coat. it just undeniably is.

how ever much it cost us, it was worth it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 21, 2016, 06:33:00 AM
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/001D/production/_89892000_89891999.jpg)

L-R: Art Garfunkel, Ron Howard, Syd Little, Ruth Madoc has let herself go.

Fuck me, that probably is Ruth Madoc!

that is really is a lovely coat. it just undeniably is.

how ever much it cost us, it was worth it.

Dogs normally come with a fur coat, though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 21, 2016, 08:37:48 AM
That hat though? On first glance, nothing, but stare at it...jesus, she looks like Trumpton come alive
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 21, 2016, 10:44:21 AM
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/001D/production/_89892000_89891999.jpg)

that is really is a lovely coat. it just undeniably is.

Pretty sure 1980s office furniture was covered in the same material. Brenda's gone retro-80s mad! It'll be spangles and BMX tricks next.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 21, 2016, 02:33:49 PM
BOOOOOM - its coming to an end

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38394780 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38394780)

Queen and her husband on death beds.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on December 21, 2016, 03:04:26 PM
And at Christmas too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 21, 2016, 05:08:13 PM
And at Christmas too.

It's what God would have wanted
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on December 21, 2016, 06:28:57 PM
Can they at least hang on till after New Year please, I don't want festivities cancelled out of "respect" or anything.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on December 21, 2016, 06:36:25 PM
I'm heading back to Ireland on the 28th so any time after that is fair game as far as I'm concerned, especially as I intend to buy some champagne in duty free on the way back. Why not have a double celebration?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on December 21, 2016, 06:46:09 PM
It'd be really annoying if she went when most of us are off work anyway. Could really do with it happening when the weather is good, but when I don't have holiday booked. An unexpected pair of days off for national mourning would be proper good if the sun was out.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on December 21, 2016, 09:24:40 PM
Yeah, it'd be better if she popped her clogs in July, but this is 2016 so expect her to go just before the New Year celebrations.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 21, 2016, 09:28:23 PM
Christmas Eve please...can you imagine the awkwardness when the BBC broadcast the Queen's speech the next day...ha ha ha...imagine a load of people scratching their heads!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 21, 2016, 10:12:44 PM
Why are all you miserable cunts getting excited about the prospect of the queen dying from illness, when you could be hoping against hope that Tommy Mair and Marine A escape from prison and head for Windsor Castle by way of the nearest knife shop?

Extra points to Mr A if he skewers her while shouting "shuffle off this lizards' coil, you cunt of death", and then films himself saying "I've just committed regicide, boys", and then gets all angry and defensive and that when a jury convicts him of regicide.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 21, 2016, 11:42:35 PM
I wonder are the Royal Family 'into' bumming?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 22, 2016, 09:38:26 AM
I wonder are the Royal Family 'into' bumming?

(Allegedly) yes.

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0f/HRH_Prince_Charles_79.jpg/342px-HRH_Prince_Charles_79.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 22, 2016, 10:40:06 AM
(Allegedly) yes.

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0f/HRH_Prince_Charles_79.jpg/342px-HRH_Prince_Charles_79.jpg)

FUCKING HELL!

i do my very best to avoid anything to do with the royals. i don't wish them ill at all, i just want them not to be. but it's very difficult to look at that man & not realise that there is something very wrong with the world. & judging by the longevity shown by the stock he comes from there is a very real possibility that he will be able to pollute the planet with his existence for another quarter of a century.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on December 22, 2016, 11:02:48 AM
Props to him for this, at least  (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38401857)

Quote
The Prince said: "Whichever religious path we follow, the destination is the same - to value and respect the other person, accepting their right to live out their peaceful response to the love of God."

I mean the CoD has had over 50 years to say something like this, and all we ever get is a 'well done' to are brave boys.

Actually this Thought for the Day thing is a dry run for his proper Christmas Day speeches, isn't it. Excited.


Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 22, 2016, 11:17:03 AM
there's not a single chance that i'm going to watch one minute & eleven seconds of that mumbling insult to decency. don't encourage them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on December 22, 2016, 11:44:12 AM
FUCKING HELL!

i do my very best to avoid anything to do with the royals. i don't wish them ill at all, i just want them not to be. but it's very difficult to look at that man & not realise that there is something very wrong with the world. & judging by the longevity shown by the stock he comes from there is a very real possibility that he will be able to pollute the planet with his existence for another quarter of a century.

You'd live for a long time too if you had an ambulance and dedicated medical team on constant stand-by wherever you went.

Nicholas Witchell on the news last night looking all serious outside Buckingham Palace in the freezing talking about how CoD and The Fixer have "heavy colds" (which I always thought was code closeted gays used when dying of AIDS) was fucking hilarious. More please, BBC! I want to hear about how the elderly people are unwell!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 22, 2016, 12:30:33 PM
FUCKING HELL!

i do my very best to avoid anything to do with the royals. i don't wish them ill at all, i just want them not to be. but it's very difficult to look at that man & not realise that there is something very wrong with the world. & judging by the longevity shown by the stock he comes from there is a very real possibility that he will be able to pollute the planet with his existence for another quarter of a century.

The other day I was being all morbid and wondering why the royals never get cancer when pedigree dogs, fancy rats, guinea pigs and other animals which have been inbred to fuckery are all more prone to it than normal. Hell, even Princess Margaret didn't get cancer despite all of her efforts. I think we should do experiments on them to find out what their secret is- they're like naked mole rats, only much less cute and some of them are much balder.

Anyway: The CoD is also stepping down as the patron of 25 charities. DEAD SOON:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38380285)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on December 22, 2016, 12:38:11 PM
As it's such an unglamorous thing to die of they probably undergo cancer screenings on a weekly basis and whenever they get it just duck out of the public eye for a bit during treatment under the guise of suffering from a "heavy cold".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 22, 2016, 03:49:36 PM
The other day I was being all morbid and wondering why the royals never get cancer when pedigree dogs, fancy rats, guinea pigs and other animals which have been inbred to fuckery are all more prone to it than normal. Hell, even Princess Margaret didn't get cancer despite all of her efforts. I think we should do experiments on them to find out what their secret is- they're like naked mole rats, only much less cute and some of them are much balder.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WspeHC7eoOI

(or, without the MST3k treatment -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdNVG0wEV90)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 22, 2016, 04:32:00 PM
It would be ironic if the queen got cervical or ovarian cancer and died from having a cunt of death, and the reason for the irony would be that a very popular nickname for her throughout the United Kingdom and Commonwealth is "HRH The Cunt of Death".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Petey Pate on December 22, 2016, 04:36:38 PM
Quote from: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-britain-religion-charles-idUSKBN14B1C6
Britain's Prince Charles said on Thursday the rise of populist groups across the world had deeply disturbing echoes of the fascism of the 1930s, and warned against a repeat of the "horrors of the past" to prevent religious persecution.

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/07/18/22/2AA8337000000578-3166699-Sources_said_there_were_fears_the_20_second_cine_film_pictured_d-m-20_1437254970966.jpg)

Never forget.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 23, 2016, 05:26:51 PM
At this time of year it's only right to wish sincerely every member of the Royal Family a death.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Consignia on December 24, 2016, 01:00:34 PM
At this time of year it's only right to wish sincerely every member of the Royal Family a death.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38427565

Early Christmas present for you.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 24, 2016, 01:03:54 PM
Fucking get in mate
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Petey Pate on December 24, 2016, 01:28:52 PM
The child was spared from a life in which he/she would never know what it would be like to live a normal life.  A life without camera lenses pointing at him/her everyday, a life with the freedom to pursue any hobby or interest that he/she wants, a life where status was obtained through hard work and personal achievement rather than by random accident of birth.

For the Royals to even considering having children is a form of child abuse.

Merry Christmas everyone. x
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 24, 2016, 01:37:22 PM
A delightful Christmas present, but a bit European of Zara to unwrap it on Christmas Eve, isn't it? It's almost like this Saxe-Coburg-Gotha lot aren't proper Brits at all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on December 24, 2016, 05:14:09 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38427565

Early Christmas present for you.

He looks a real thug, doesn't he!?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 24, 2016, 05:23:42 PM
He was a rugby player who had the nickname Crash.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: biggytitbo on December 24, 2016, 05:31:25 PM
As an extra special festive gift to the world the least the Royal Family could do is have Prince Edward executed for Christmas. I mean it'd be no big deal for them but imagine how happy it would make countless millions around the world.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 24, 2016, 05:37:18 PM
I would be delighted, as would popular entertainer Sting.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: biggytitbo on December 24, 2016, 06:31:35 PM
It's making me smile just thinking about it actually.


Imagine the Queen majesty gives her Christmas speech and behind her is this curious red curtain  and you're wondering all through what this curtain is for and what's behind it.


Then at the end, as a big reveal, she gets up and pulls the strings and behind the curtain is some gallows and Edward with a hood over his head. They could maybe leave it on that cliffhanger and have the actually execution later in the night. Do wonders for BBC ratings as well.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 24, 2016, 06:40:48 PM
It's making me smile just thinking about it actually.


Imagine the Queen majesty gives her Christmas speech and behind her is this curious red curtain  and you're wondering all through what this curtain is for and what's behind it.


Then at the end, as a big reveal, she gets up and pulls the strings and behind the curtain is some gallows and Edward with a hood over his head. They could maybe leave it on that cliffhanger and have the actually execution later in the night. Do wonders for BBC ratings as well.


Or tell Edward he's allowed to step in and give the speech this year, and as he's wittering away, then the men come in, haul him off his chair, push aside the wardrobe that's stood by the wall, and reveal the tiny room with the noose. Done and dusted from chair to lever pull in about 35 seconds, like the snap of a Christmas cracker.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 25, 2016, 12:45:36 AM
I think for Christmas this year Poo should be given access to the royal family and as many dildos as he requires.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 25, 2016, 01:14:38 AM
I think for Christmas this year Poo should be given access to the royal family and as many dildos as he requires.

(http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj506/Chuckopixs/queenprincegif_zpsavgjoitc.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Tungsten Paint Trophy on December 25, 2016, 01:16:08 AM
A bit of inside news for you: a friend of mine works at Buckingham Palace and she says the Queen has lost a lot of weight recently and is looking very, very frail. So anyone who's looking for a candidate for their death list next year might do well to take a punt on Lizzie.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 25, 2016, 05:44:16 AM
Hopefully it won't be boring frailty that does her in, but an entire truckload of sodomites going absolutely berserk.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on December 25, 2016, 10:51:22 AM
A bit of inside news for you: a friend of mine works at Buckingham Palace and she says the Queen has lost a lot of weight recently and is looking very, very frail. So anyone who's looking for a candidate for their death list next year might do well to take a punt on Lizzie.

Nah, she's just spent three months doing the Insanity DVDs. Shaun T will personally deliver the "I Earned It" t-shirt LIVE at 3pm on BBC One.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 25, 2016, 11:34:48 AM
A bit of inside news for you: a friend of mine works at Buckingham Palace and she says the Queen has lost a lot of weight recently and is looking very, very frail. So anyone who's looking for a candidate for their death list next year might do well to take a punt on Lizzie.

Yeah it would be great please please die now
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: biggytitbo on December 25, 2016, 01:14:56 PM
I be the she's dead already and they're just waiting to announce it. Chas certainly looked uncharaetsically chirpy on the news this morning.


Also HAHA all those tossers who travelled 12000 miles to queue up at 6:00am to see the queen majesty.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quincey on December 25, 2016, 06:50:39 PM
Queen urges Britons to "take a deep breath"

2017: Queen urges Britons to "continue to breathe in and out". She then reads out a list of people whom the Government feels should stop inhaling and exhaling and just expire.

2018: Queen leads nation in mass suicide.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 25, 2016, 10:55:49 PM
2016 'Queen' dies haha looser
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 26, 2016, 12:55:37 AM
2019: family filled to death with wasps.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on December 26, 2016, 11:32:29 AM
The CoD is so dead isn't she. They're just waiting for after the bank holiday to announce it. Or maybe after New Year.

The royal PR machine is so slick these days that they know her maj popping it over Christmas and New Year would expose exactly how few people give a shit. Better to slip the news out on January 3rd or 4th, they'll have the news cycle to themselves.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: hamfist on December 26, 2016, 11:42:42 AM
Wouldn't her death be the ideal time to push for a republic ? Why crown gouty when we could just stop now ?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on December 26, 2016, 12:08:32 PM
I think it'll be a delicate issue for republicans for a while. I think the transition between monarchs is the perfect time to think about the monarchy but at the same time, it's inevitable that anyone who dares to raise the issue 'too soon' will be berated as callous or worse so it has to be done carefully. At the same time, I think we have to get the idea out there at a time when an unpopular, misinformed tampon has just become the head of state for the rest of his life without the public having any say, and once that has sunk in, the ridiculousness of monarchy should dawn on a lot of people.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on December 26, 2016, 12:13:02 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/161B8/production/_93125509_eex26p001-1st.jpg)

(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/A250/production/_93125514_1001ic-dtndt-1-261216-a001c.jpg)

I hate that fucking child so much. Every time I see a photo of him it is abundantly clear that he is purest evil in human form. The only comfort is that despite the 26 year head start he's still going to go bald before I do.

Do those posh nannies in the brown uniforms that are raising these kids teach you to suck sweets in the manner which most makes you like a cunt or something?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on December 26, 2016, 01:17:42 PM
I love the fact that "Parents 'must get tough on diet'" is right next to a giant picture of the little cunt eating sweets - even that oversized toilet roll can't resist having a dig at baldie and his wife.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on December 26, 2016, 01:25:53 PM
The CoD is so dead isn't she.

I don't know what CoD stands for.  Am I just being incredibly dense?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 26, 2016, 01:27:48 PM
Cunt of Death

The Telegraph photo makes it look like We Hate Prince George is holding a severed ghoul's hand.

In many ways, he is.


Their persistence with long socks is tragic. That alone marks him out as a detached freak.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 26, 2016, 01:45:39 PM


(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/A250/production/_93125514_1001ic-dtndt-1-261216-a001c.jpg)



Doesn't he grow up to be the cut-rate Damien in

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077332/

(http://i.imgur.com/QesiyNW.jpg?1) (http://imgur.com/QesiyNW)


My thoughts, exactly, Kirk

(http://i.imgur.com/8VK8sbG.jpg?1) (http://imgur.com/8VK8sbG)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: hamfist on December 26, 2016, 03:57:29 PM
I think it'll be a delicate issue for republicans for a while. I think the transition between monarchs is the perfect time to think about the monarchy but at the same time, it's inevitable that anyone who dares to raise the issue 'too soon' will be berated as callous or worse so it has to be done carefully. At the same time, I think we have to get the idea out there at a time when an unpopular, misinformed tampon has just become the head of state for the rest of his life without the public having any say, and once that has sunk in, the ridiculousness of monarchy should dawn on a lot of people.

I think you're right. The worst thing it'll be all the brexit cunts who'll be wanting King Gout, you know the ones who were so vocal about getting away from unelected leaders and so convinced about the sheer power of democracy. How big do you think the (pro-brexit && monarchist) intersection is compared to the (pro-brexit && republican) slice ?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Tungsten Paint Trophy on December 26, 2016, 06:01:27 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/A250/production/_93125514_1001ic-dtndt-1-261216-a001c.jpg)

When he's older, he's going to be the spit of Sebastian Flyte.

(http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/59/5932/JJ4RG00Z/posters/anthony-andrews-brideshead-revisited.jpg)

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9a/02/77/9a027746455af1d5389e67f84f9e35c4.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on December 26, 2016, 06:12:12 PM
Except bald.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 26, 2016, 06:18:28 PM
When he's older, he's going to be the spit of Sebastian Flyte.



(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9a/02/77/9a027746455af1d5389e67f84f9e35c4.jpg)

That's the one!! I knew he reminded me of someone, and it wasn't quite Simon Ward.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 26, 2016, 06:22:25 PM
Looks more like a snivelling streak of dehydrated piss to me.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on December 26, 2016, 08:17:15 PM
I think you're right. The worst thing it'll be all the brexit cunts who'll be wanting King Gout, you know the ones who were so vocal about getting away from unelected leaders and so convinced about the sheer power of democracy. How big do you think the (pro-brexit && monarchist) intersection is compared to the (pro-brexit && republican) slice ?

I'm convinced there must be a big overlap between monarchists and brexiters (and was intrigued to hear another suggestion (https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/dec/26/queen-did-back-brexit-run-up-to-referendum-laura-kuenssberg) that the Queen herself supported leave). The irony is obvious, but I always took 'democracy' in this context to mean 'democracy when it's on my side'. More importantly, I would link ideas of tradition and nostalgia to brexiters and monarchists alike and I think that despite the awkwardness of people who bang on about democracy supporting the monarchy, there is a strong cultural continuum between the two in terms of valuing a country that is anchored in its (often heavily mythologised) past.

As for the other side, there must be an untapped seam of people who are upset with the direction of the country and who will eventually see that the monarchy is hardly conducive to changing direction.. I can see why it isn't seen as a significant day-to-day issue for most people but I hope that seeing the inheritance of power in action will change that, as it shows an unjust, outdated, undemocratic system directly imposing itself on a democratic country in the twenty-first century. I don't think I would necessarily correlate remainers and republicans though; I think it's more a matter of potential support for republicanism rather than any active republican sentiment now. Most remain voters I know simply don't give a fuck about the monarchy, and that's fine.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on December 26, 2016, 08:44:45 PM
Funny how they're putting out the Queen's supposed support of Brexit, now.  Maybe she is on the way out, so isn't in a position to say it's not protocol to go publicising her views?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on December 26, 2016, 10:46:48 PM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/04/09/article-0-0044BCBD00000258-697_306x423.jpg)

Prince Evil's coat is pure Stalin isn't it. Monster in training.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on December 27, 2016, 02:15:29 PM
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/161B8/production/_93125509_eex26p001-1st.jpg)

(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/A250/production/_93125514_1001ic-dtndt-1-261216-a001c.jpg)

I hate that fucking child so much. Every time I see a photo of him it is abundantly clear that he is purest evil in human form. The only comfort is that despite the 26 year head start he's still going to go bald before I do.

Do those posh nannies in the brown uniforms that are raising these kids teach you to suck sweets in the manner which most makes you like a cunt or something?

You ruined my christmas. I like my christmas being ruined. Wish I had positive karma to give you. Rage is my comfort and you posted my fuel. (this really isn't sarcasm, I mean it)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 27, 2016, 10:47:35 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/FQbaa3J.jpg)

Me? "Prince" George of Cambridge? Here? In church? Trouserless? About to display my fat and gouty cock in the quire? With my reputation?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 28, 2016, 12:30:48 PM
"Clumsy" Kate Middlebum keeps meeting with little "accidents":

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4067036/Clumsy-Kate-does-duchess-plaster-hand.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4067036/Clumsy-Kate-does-duchess-plaster-hand.html)

Look Kate, I hate to break it to you but those Matchbox Fiat Unos you keep finding at the top of the stairs are not being left there by Prince George.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 28, 2016, 12:47:07 PM
^ didn't michael jackson go through a phase of stinking plasters all over himself just before he went full tonto? & when i was a teenager one of my mates sister did it too & she ended up sectioned. CO-INCIDENCE?! we will never know.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 28, 2016, 12:51:01 PM
The Cambridges are so normal and down-to-earth, aren't they? Living a quiet and private existence in Norfolk, sending little George to a state nursery while daddy serves the community in his big shiny air ambulance...

...oh hang on:

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge set to move back to London as they eye new schools and Prince considers giving up career as helicopter pilot (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/27/duke-duchess-cambridge-eye-move-back-london-familys-norfolk/)

Quote
Since they became parents three years ago, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have turned Anmer Hall in Norfolk into their perfect family home, offering a “normal” childhood for Prince George and Princess Charlotte away from prying eyes.

In 2017, however, they are expected to leave it behind after deciding Prince George should be schooled in London and that Kensington Palace should be their full-time base.

The Duke and Duchess are also ready to step up their royal duties, with the Duke contemplating giving up his career as a helicopter pilot to take up a full-time public role.

“Decisions about schooling and nurseries are all part of that.”  The Duke and Duchess are understood to have put Prince George’s name down for £6,500-a-term Wetherby School in London, the pre-prep school attended by the young Princes William and Harry.

Officially, they have made no final decision on schooling, but the Duchess is said to be privately resigned to moving back to London.

...they're moving into Kensington fucking Palace, they've signed Prince Damien up to a £6,500-a-term pre-prep school in London, Prince Baldy will be giving up his pretend job as a balloon modeller an air ambulance pilot to concentrate on doing fuck-all his royal duties full-time, and poor Kate Middlebum is ecstatic about being able to live out the rest of her days shopping in Knightsbridge "resigned" to going with them!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 28, 2016, 12:53:25 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/FQbaa3J.jpg)

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on December 28, 2016, 01:09:31 PM
The Cambridges are so normal and down-to-earth, aren't they? Living a quiet and private existence in Norfolk, sending little George to a state nursery while daddy serves the community in his big shiny air ambulance...

...oh hang on:

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge set to move back to London as they eye new schools and Prince considers giving up career as helicopter pilot (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/27/duke-duchess-cambridge-eye-move-back-london-familys-norfolk/)

...they're moving into Kensington fucking Palace, they've signed Prince Damien up to a £6,500-a-term pre-prep school in London, Prince Baldy will be giving up his pretend job as a balloon modeller an air ambulance pilot to concentrate on doing fuck-all his royal duties full-time, and poor Kate Middlebum is ecstatic about being able to live out the rest of her days shopping in Knightsbridge "resigned" to going with them!

I think this is another sign the CoD hasn't long to go. Wills has to be in place to be the new Prince of Wales, and chief public face of the royals, when Chuckles steps up at last to the throne.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 28, 2016, 01:27:46 PM
I think this is another sign the CoD hasn't long to go. Wills has to be in place to be the new Prince of Wales, and chief public face of the royals, when Chuckles steps up at last to the throne.

Also the CoD hasn't put up much resistence to Banter Harry's decision to date a mixed-race American divorcee- has she finally accepted that interfering in her family's marriages never ends well or can she just not be arsed anymore because she's 90 years old and DEAD SOON?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 28, 2016, 01:45:56 PM
Funny how they're putting out the Queen's supposed support of Brexit, now.  Maybe she is on the way out, so isn't in a position to say it's not protocol to go publicising her views?

Laura Kuenessberg is reporting it, right?

It was an easily taken out of context comment. The Queen was referring to the mechanics of it, not explicitly expressing a desire to leave.

In any case, whatever she thinks is irrelevant. This is how low we've sunk is it, just doing her undying bidding?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 28, 2016, 03:25:00 PM
Also the CoD hasn't put up much resistence to Banter Harry's decision to date a mixed-race American divorcee- has she finally accepted that interfering in her family's marriages never ends well or can she just not be arsed anymore because she's 90 years old and DEAD SOON?

Nah, Chuck, Willis, and Omen McDamien-face all mean Bantz is of no concern or worth to CoD. She probably doesn't even send him a Christmas card these days, not even one of them cheap charity ones.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Here Comes Mongo on December 29, 2016, 01:12:12 AM
I think you're right. The worst thing it'll be all the brexit cunts who'll be wanting King Gout, you know the ones who were so vocal about getting away from unelected leaders and so convinced about the sheer power of democracy. How big do you think the (pro-brexit && monarchist) intersection is compared to the (pro-brexit && republican) slice ?

I'm a Brexit cunt who doesn't have any love for the Royal Family. My main concern about removing them is that it would result in further powers for the prime-minister (or president) which are far out of proportion with those already held by the monarchy. Also, I enjoy hating them and laughing at their ludicrousness.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on December 29, 2016, 02:43:04 AM
I think this is another sign the CoD hasn't long to go. Wills has to be in place to be the new Prince of Wales, and chief public face of the royals, when Chuckles steps up at last to the throne.

Yup, that's what I read into it.  So Kate probably iS "resigned" to it, sadly.  How long before the poor love starts throwing herself down the stairs at Kensington Palace?  Although at least William seems to genuinely love her, so hopefully that'll be less likely than last time round.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 29, 2016, 09:53:51 AM
When Chas finally sits on his mummy's chair, will his official title still be The Cunt of Death, or will it change to something more masculine but with the same initials, a la HRH?

The Chode of Death, in honour of his gout-blighted member.

The Chinky of Death, in honour of his real character of a dad, who always called a spade a lazy shovel-eyed soil-chucker.

The Cumpkin of Death, in honour of the King of The Fringe.

The Cunt of Death of Death, in honour of his nationally known mother.

The Cheeky Nandos of Death, in honour of me having no idea what this is, but just wanting to appear bang on trend so people like me.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 29, 2016, 12:52:48 PM
Has to be totally different.

A new name for a new evil.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on December 29, 2016, 01:18:03 PM
When CoD goes it's going to be like when Pope John Paul II died, or indeed when Alex Ferguson retired. One guy in the job for my entire life and then a sudden succession of loads of new ones[1]. Because Charlie isn't going to last more than a decade as King.
 1. Okay Fergie was appointed as Man Utd boss exactly one month after I was born, but I wasn't much in to my football in those days
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Lemming on December 29, 2016, 01:23:22 PM
Chode of Despair is sufficiently masculine, feels new and fresh but retains the same initials, and conveys the sense of foreboding evil.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 29, 2016, 01:24:52 PM
After Charles it will be an entirely bald king - how is that going to work?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 29, 2016, 01:48:19 PM
Bit of Blu-tack will hold the crown on, no worries.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Steven on December 29, 2016, 02:13:00 PM
What a bunch of money-grubbing cunts.
 (http://Britains Queen Elizabeth II Family Secrets)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Gulftastic on December 29, 2016, 09:02:15 PM
Rumours about the COD's demise abound on twitter.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on December 29, 2016, 09:13:54 PM
All I'm finding is this, which is clearly a clumsy hoax:
https://www.twitter.com/potnoodlefring3/status/814572422074691584

Oh and this report of a slightly less clumsy one:
https://www.twitter.com/BuzzFeed/status/814563760165617664/photo/1
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on December 29, 2016, 11:36:56 PM
A new refusnik emerges - Hillsborough campaigner Phil Scraton refuses OBE (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-38457928).

Quote
I could not accept an honour tied in name to the 'British Empire'.

Legend.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on December 30, 2016, 07:36:07 PM
Would he still be so opposed if it was renamed to the Bumming Empire? Same initials, but much more acceptable.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on December 30, 2016, 08:03:36 PM
I wonder how Lynn Faulds Wood would feel about that (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38470922) (another noble refusenik)?

Quote
"I would love to have an honour if it didn't have the word 'empire' on the end of it. We don't have an empire, in my opinion," she added.

"I think honours are really important and should be given to people who have done really good stuff.

"And I've changed laws and I've helped saved a lot of people's lives, so maybe I'm deserving of an honour, but I just wouldn't accept it while we still have party donors donating huge amounts of money and getting an honour."

Faulds Wood, 68, said she would like to see an "appraisal" of the honours system, adding: "Let's drag us into the 21st Century."

The campaigner went on: "We're a very backward-looking country at the moment.

"We shouldn't have lords and ladies and sirs. We should give people honours, yes, because plenty of people deserve them, including, I hope, myself.

"But it's not a fair system."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on December 30, 2016, 08:08:42 PM
Bumming Emporium then? Now no one can have any objection.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Urinal Cake on December 30, 2016, 08:20:47 PM
Brummie Empire. Jousted by Bill Oddie.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Malcy on December 31, 2016, 02:28:04 AM
Just read that when the queen dies she will be buried 12 days later. And the BBC will cancel all scheduled comedy output until after the funeral!! What?!?! Fuck that for a carry on.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on December 31, 2016, 02:38:56 AM
Just read that when the queen dies she will be buried 12 days later. And the BBC will cancel all scheduled comedy output until after the funeral!! What?!?! Fuck that for a carry on.

if that includes r4e i'm going to go [banned member] on them cunts. i can't fall asleep unless i'm soothed slumberwards by some of that comforting ol' shite. fucking shambles.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on December 31, 2016, 03:25:13 AM
After Charles it will be an entirely bald king - how is that going to work?

He could wear a wig, but what if he is mentally ill? Or has phimosis?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Malcy on December 31, 2016, 11:46:51 AM
if that includes r4e i'm going to go [banned member] on them cunts. i can't fall asleep unless i'm soothed slumberwards by some of that comforting ol' shite. fucking shambles.

Ah shit, i wasn't even thinking about radio as well. Bollocks.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 31, 2016, 05:42:46 PM
Some Daily Mail leeching[1] for yah:

Quote
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/12/31/12/3BBB69D800000578-4077950-image-a-20_1483187960468.jpg)

'The Cambridges are the reluctant royals.

'They would much rather be at home with the children but so would most British parents.

'Unfortunately, ordinary people don’t get the choice.'

According to the court circulars, the Queen attended 332 events in the year she turned 90, with Prince Philip going to 219.

Charles has been to 530 events, while his wife Camilla has attended 221.

Royal author Phil Dampier told the Sun: 'I have long thought that William and Kate are not doing enough.

'The Queen and Prince Philip are in their 90s, and Charles and Camilla are pushing 70, so it is time the younger generation stepped up.

In other words: benefit scroungers.
 1. Link
here (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4077950/Kate-William-slammed-doing-HALF-official-engagements-Charles-Diana-did-age.html)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quincey on December 31, 2016, 05:57:09 PM
I thought the Queen was meant to be apolitical but she seems to favour Brexit.  Pro-Leave press are creaming themselves, of course.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 31, 2016, 08:29:52 PM
Out of date picture of Wills there from the 'vague wisp' era. We are now in the 'appalling shining desolation' era. Come on.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 04, 2017, 10:43:40 PM
Six people now on trial in France for profiting from those paparazzi pics of Waity's norks:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4084466/Six-trial-France-accused-profiting-paparazzi-photos-topless-Duchess-Cambridge-sunbathed-France.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4084466/Six-trial-France-accused-profiting-paparazzi-photos-topless-Duchess-Cambridge-sunbathed-France.html)

Comments heavily moderated of course.

Any other female celebrity would have the Mail buying the pictures themselves and then publishing them under a headline including the phrase "flaunting her curves" and leaving the comments wide open to a torrent of pervy misogynistic crap... and once again we see Wills'n'Kate don't give a shit about press intrusion when it affects the plebs but the second it affects them they act to get Closer magazine shut down for five years...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 05, 2017, 12:07:07 AM
Not to mention having the option at any time to pull an Edward, retire from public life and lead the same existence as the rest of us, the shitends.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on January 05, 2017, 08:47:53 AM
So close!

Quote
The Queen is a fan of late-night walks. When she struggles to sleep she will sometimes put on a mac and walk around the palace grounds, an ex-guardsman told me. On one occasion he was patrolling inside the perimeter of the Palace walls at 3am when he spotted a figure in the darkness. Thinking that he had come across an intruder, he shouted: “Who’s that?” To his surprise it was the Queen. “Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you,” he blurted out. Realising that he had spoken out of turn, he waited for a dressing-down. “That’s quite all right,” HM replied. “Next time I’ll ring through beforehand so you don’t have to shoot me.”

From The Times.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: mook on January 05, 2017, 09:18:37 AM
what sort of warped minded slumper would pay to own these?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38508089

fucksakes, i just find that massively creepy.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on January 05, 2017, 09:26:52 AM
The Queen is a fan of late-night walks. When she struggles to sleep she will sometimes put on a mac and walk around the palace grounds, an ex-guardsman told me. On one occasion he was patrolling inside the perimeter of the Palace walls at 3am when he spotted a figure in the darkness. Thinking that he had come across an intruder, he shouted: “Who’s that?” To his surprise it was the Queen. “Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you,” he blurted out. Realising that he had spoken out of turn, he waited for a dressing-down. “That’s quite all right,” HM replied. “Next time I’ll ring through beforehand so you don’t have to shoot me.”

So is there a 'shoot to kill' policy in the grounds of Buck Pal?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on January 05, 2017, 09:56:24 AM
The Queen is a fan of late-night walks.

We can go for a walk were it's quiet and dry
And talk about precious things
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on January 05, 2017, 01:35:13 PM
what sort of warped minded slumper would pay to own these?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38508089

fucksakes, i just find that massively creepy.

I was just dropping by to post that same link, and to say that I would pay to own those, mainly so I could put them straight in the bin.

Quote from: Drincess Piana
The boys are well and enjoying boarding school alot.

Drincess Piana, there, proving - like her spawn - that breeding and expensive schooling aren't all they're cracked up to be. If she wasn't dead, I'd put her in the fucking bin alongside her tawdry little notes.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 05, 2017, 05:56:13 PM
Not to mention having the option at any time to pull an Edward, retire from public life and lead the same existence as the rest of us, the shitends.

Or Wills could just fucking abdicate and they could both live off his inheritance for the rest of their pointless lives...

Magazines like Closer are generally full of intrusive long-lensed pics, photos of celebrities looking fat/sweaty/spotty etc, and speculation over celebrities' potential eating disorders, post-pregnancy weight loss, etc. One would think that press intrusion and eating disorders would be among Wills' biggest concerns, thanks to his mothers' experiences of these things. Wills and Kate are also supposed to be major champions of mental health charities and so could take more of a stand against media outlets which trivialise eating disorders and addictions and harass vulnerable sufferers like Amy Winehouse and Kerry Katona with no thought for the consequences... but no, once again they only bother to use their power, influence and wealth to help themselves.

All this over someone who is essentially a WAG... It's amazing how women who marry footballers are treated as fair game by the media but women who marry royalty are a protected fucking species.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on January 06, 2017, 04:02:13 PM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/01/05/build-new-royal-yacht-britannia-deliver-20-year-old-conservative/ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/01/05/build-new-royal-yacht-britannia-deliver-20-year-old-conservative/)

The Telegraph is STILL on about this. Incredible.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on January 07, 2017, 09:05:30 PM
She's still shirking her responsibilities.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/01/07/queens-health-may-prevent-attending-church/

I say, sanction her benefits!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on January 07, 2017, 09:09:05 PM
I've been wanting to contribute to this thread for so long. I can't because my hands are only able to type ANGER
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on January 07, 2017, 09:10:07 PM
Just fucking die already. It's January and I need a bank holiday
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 13, 2017, 06:50:23 PM
RIP Lord Snowden, one-time Mr Princess Margaret and the photographer responsible for this:

(https://tiarasandtrianon.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/poltimore-tiara-as-cream-rinse.jpg)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38611497 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38611497)

Also this:

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/4282/production/_93562071_snowdoncp_03255560.jpg)

Fair play to him- he beats Waity Katie and her alleged efforts at photography- ie, a few pics of her kids:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3603175/The-Duchess-Cambridge-praised-skills-camera-Queen-s-photographer.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3603175/The-Duchess-Cambridge-praised-skills-camera-Queen-s-photographer.html)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: doppelkorn on January 13, 2017, 07:04:10 PM
Why do you keep calling her Waity Katie?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 13, 2017, 07:10:03 PM
She's had that nickname for yonks, had you never heard it before? Pffft, next you'll be asking why we call Prince William "Baldy".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 13, 2017, 07:42:46 PM
Cor, I've only just learned that Useless Marshmallow Middleton launched a new totally pointless product in October:

THE BOOMF BOMB (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDfmcdbUJJA)

For just £5.99 you can fill the home of a hated loved one with craft herpes confetti! Alternatively you can now get two marshmallows for the b@rgain price of £7 (https://boomf.com/).

I bet James Middlebum hates the Ian Watkins lookalike twins who founded the Cereal Killer cafe.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on January 13, 2017, 08:41:45 PM
I saw the boomf bomb (deliberately lower cased) when I was trying to make their website go into live chat mode again the other day for the lol of it. I thought about coming to thissy here very thread to post about it, but then I thought: nah, not gonna waste my fingertips on that mallowy wanker.

The title in the boomf (lower cased, ditto) website's html is this:

Code: [Select]
<title>Boomf - multi-sensory magical marshmallows. Mmmm! - Boomf</title>
I mean. End him.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on January 15, 2017, 03:51:44 PM
That snivelling Spike Milligan[1] fan gets in on the Ladybird book nostalgia gig.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38627650
Quote
Prince Charles has co-authored a Ladybird book on the challenges and possible solutions to climate change.

It is part of a series for adults written in the style of the well-known children's books that aims to clearly explain complicated subjects.

Just fuck off already you balding wanker!
 1. By the way, do a search on Spike's name (https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Spike+Milligan), Google seems to conflate him with Peter Sellers currently
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on January 20, 2017, 10:46:59 PM
It's official - Wills is quitting his pretend job, and the lot of them are moving back to London for good.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38696326 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38696326)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on January 22, 2017, 06:16:48 PM
In the summer, eh? So he'll be in place to take up Prince of Wales duties by the autumn.

The CoD to die in september this year then.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on February 06, 2017, 11:53:45 AM
The face of evil:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38872538
Quote
(http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/320/cpsprodpb/14EAC/production/_93967658_hi037705540.jpg)

A portrait of the Queen by British photographer David Bailey has been reissued for her Sapphire Jubilee, marking 65 years on the throne.

In the photo, the Queen wears sapphire jewellery given to her by King George VI as a wedding gift in 1947.

That's handy, didn't have to throw money away renting the set for the photos or anything.

Quote
Over the years, she has added to the gifts from her father with a tiara and a bracelet to complement the original jewellery.

I know what it's like, you get that collecting buzz, gotta make the set!

Quote
Today, after 23,742 days on the throne, it's the start of the first Sapphire Jubilee in British history.

23,742 days! Fuuuuuck oooooffffffff!

Quote
In the coming months and years, she will, inevitably, do less

Oh aye?

Quote
At the time of the commission, Bailey said he had "always been a huge fan of the Queen".

Naff off you toadying little prick!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on February 06, 2017, 12:08:16 PM
Is there some massive milestone or anniversary involving the CoD every year now or something? It seems like they invent some big once-in-a-lifetime event each year to keep us together as country and stop us from having a revolution or something.

"This year the Queen will be THE OLDEST SHE HAS EVER BEEN. Everyone must celebrate this!"

I don't currently have any elderly relatives. The original batch have died off and the next in line are still in upper middle age, but I'll reserve my excitement at their continuing existence for them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on February 06, 2017, 01:17:41 PM
In light of the Queen's sapphire jubilee, I looked up the calendar for 2030, when I will be 65 (I wo'nt live long enough to have a sapphire wedding anniversary unless that Cyberman tech gets moving along a bit more quickly, and I'm not a reigning queen or empress or anything currently who can aspire to a public jubilee and that).

Turns out when I hit 65 it will be a Friday the 13th. This pleases me.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on February 06, 2017, 03:13:58 PM
"Queen in sapphires for her 65th jubilee".

With any luck we'll see her in platinum for her 70th. Molten platinum.

With even more luck we'll see her in Fritzl's basement before then. Getting absolutely bummed with each of the crown jewels in size order. Finish the cunt off with a Stone of Scone.

But that's only if we're lucky. More rounds of Sweep For Your Supper is what we'll actually get I bet.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on February 06, 2017, 04:00:53 PM
I can see them getting murdered and dumped in some woods if Becks doesn't get his Knighthood next time round.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 03, 2017, 02:21:24 PM
I haven't been obsessing over the royals lately because the Donald Trump shitshow has been holding my attention, but here we go:

Royal Flush: MPs just almost doubled the Royal Family's income and approved £360m palace refurb after 13 minute debate (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/royal-flush-mps-just-doubled-9951361)

Quote
A tiny committee of MPs almost doubled the publicly funded income of the Royal Family after a 13 minute debate - and rubber-stamped a £360 million refurbishment for Buckingham Palace today.

The increase in the ‘sovereign grant’ from 15 to 25% of Crown Estates income was approved by the ‘Seventh Delegated Legislation Committee”.

Just 17 MPs sit on the committee, which is chaired by Tory Peter Bone.

The reason given for the bumper increase was to pay for major works on the Palace, which has fallen into a degree of disrepair.

Only the SNP ’s two committee members, including Tommy Shepherd MP who spoke in the debate, objected to the motion.

Because of the two votes against by SNP MPs, the matter will go to a vote in the main House of Commons chamber.


But there is unlikely to be a full debate on the bill, and it is almost certain to be put through “on the nod.”

Ah, the good old SNP, they did what they could... now please can we have another independence referendum and leave the rest of the UK responsible for this palace of cunts?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 03, 2017, 02:29:08 PM
Also Meghan Markle probably won't be Princess Banter anytime soon:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bonkers-reason-prince-harry-wont-9843046 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bonkers-reason-prince-harry-wont-9843046)

Quote
Now sure, it's quite an antiquated idea that you should ask permission from family members before asking for your lover's hand in marriage. You might argue that asking a father of your would-be bride is sexist. Still, a lot of people like to get an idea of whether it's a good idea, which is fine.

Prince Harry isn't actually faced with that problem. Rather, he's bound by English law, which stipulates that he has to ask the permission of his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, before proposing to someone.

It's down to the The Royal Marriages Act . The law dates back to 1772, and was passed by King George III after he disapproved of his brothers’ marriages.

The law states that reigning monarchs must grant approval to direct descendents. If the sovereign says no, technically, royals aren't able to get married. Very archaic.

Now fine, Prince Harry and Markle are a serious couple, but we've no idea if marriage is on the horizon. Who knows. But people are speculating, hoping. We imagine there are murmurs.

But the fact is, a wedding can't be close until the Queen has signed a notice to give her formal consent. She has to trust the spouse – and she's not even met her yet.

The good news is that the Queen has never denied a marriage request. But she's probably not all that eager to meet Markle. It took Kate Middleton four years of dating to get an introduction. The Queen is busy with her corgis and gin, you see.

Nope, the CoD has never flat-out denied a marriage request, but she has managed to avoid approving numerous requests. Perhaps by just refusing to meet the various plebs and divorcees her offspring wanted to marry. Sneaky...

It looks like the CoD may be plotting to nix another royal wedding here, and she may have been doing her best to try and stop Wills marrying a pleb but after four years she simply couldn't hold off for any longer. If Banter Harry ever does bring Meghan to the palace, waving that pathetic little permission slip and grovelling "Please granny, can I, a grown adult, marry someone of my choosing rather than enter into a doomed marriage with an unwilling debutante?", ol' Queeno will probably just spend the whole time hiding from them, locked away in a wing at the other end of the building while drinking gin and cackling.

Is fucking up her descendents' relationships a hobby of hers or something?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 03, 2017, 04:09:20 PM
I haven't been obsessing over the royals lately because the Donald Trump shitshow has been holding my attention, but here we go:

Royal Flush: MPs just almost doubled the Royal Family's income and approved £360m palace refurb after 13 minute debate (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/royal-flush-mps-just-doubled-9951361)

Christ. Has Republic sent out anything about this? I've not seen any emails from them for a while, actually; better check my settings.

Was one of these so-called MPs a gay ex-olympic fencer by any chance?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on March 03, 2017, 04:50:59 PM
We really need to start referring to the money given to the Royals as "benefits" or "handouts". Use the language of the tabloid right against some of their favourite people.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on March 04, 2017, 12:43:15 AM
Ah, the good old SNP, they did what they could... now please can we have another independence referendum and leave the rest of the UK responsible for this palace of cunts?

Wouldn't you still be stuck with them like Canada and Australia et al are? Come to think of it, how much do they chip in to have Brenda's face on their coin?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 04, 2017, 10:14:44 AM
Wouldn't you still be stuck with them like Canada and Australia et al are? Come to think of it, how much do they chip in to have Brenda's face on their coin?

Essentially nothing. They foot the costs (security, travel, bed and board) of royal visits and upkeep of royal residences, but there's no direct funnelling of money to the state or the royals themselves.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on March 04, 2017, 11:39:08 AM
Bastards! I've a mind to put my foot through the commonwealth and send Canada the bill!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on March 04, 2017, 12:51:01 PM
and send Canada the bill!

They're so nice they'd probably pay it and all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 04, 2017, 02:02:49 PM
Revealed the CoD's secret signals that she wants to be "rescued" from a conversation with a pleb- Mail link, sorry but no other paper would give a fuck:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4275904/Queen-uses-HANDBAG-send-secret-signals-staff.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4275904/Queen-uses-HANDBAG-send-secret-signals-staff.html)

Quote
* Secret gestures revealed by royal historian Hugo Vickers to People magazine
* Changes her Launer handbag from one hand to the other to signal to staff
* Gesture means she's ready to terminate a conversation
* Places bag on table at end of event to give five minute warning she's ready to go
* Twisting her wedding ring means she'd urgently like to be rescued from a chat

Quote
Also, while taking official meetings at Buckingham Palace she has the use of a discreet buzzer that gives staff the nod to open the doors and accompany the guest out.

Wow... other people just have to learn social skills, not our Queenie. Plus she has a kind of panic button thing for whenever a guest is annoying her- I bet it's really connected to the trapdoor over her piranha tank.

Again, where the hell does this idea that she's charming and lovely with "a wicked sense of humour" come from? Elizardbeast is one cold reptile.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on March 04, 2017, 02:12:29 PM
* Twisting her wedding ring means she'd urgently like to be rescued from a chat

It could also be a subconscious sign that she regrets marrying Phillip.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on March 04, 2017, 04:20:50 PM
70 year itch.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on March 04, 2017, 11:39:42 PM
Revealed the CoD's secret signals that she wants to be "rescued" from a conversation with a pleb- Mail link, sorry but no other paper would give a fuck:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4275904/Queen-uses-HANDBAG-send-secret-signals-staff.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4275904/Queen-uses-HANDBAG-send-secret-signals-staff.html)

Wow... other people just have to learn social skills, not our Queenie. Plus she has a kind of panic button thing for whenever a guest is annoying her- I bet it's really connected to the trapdoor over her piranha tank.


I dunno -- if it turned out to be a hand-held Amtrak airhorn, I could kinda admire that. In fact I could use something like that myself as a signal that I'm through talking with people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37DayjxSsDI

Even better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETCmHZdmzKo
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 06, 2017, 10:53:44 PM
Peter Philips's company made £750,000 out of The Patronising Lunch (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39183622)

Nice work if you can get it from your granny. I bet the pensioners who got rained on as they ate the soggy pre-packed M&S scotch eggs they paid £150 for are laughing now.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 09, 2017, 04:31:39 PM
G'wan little Alfie my son:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461)

Just wait until Comrade Alfie is all grown up, leading the revolution and deciding with royal should be first against the wall. As long as Wills never gets a chance to bribe him with a crap balloon mouse we'll be fine.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 09, 2017, 04:54:56 PM
G'wan little Alfie my son:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461)

Just wait until Comrade Alfie is all grown up, leading the revolution and deciding with royal should be first against the wall. As long as Wills never gets a chance to bribe him with a crap balloon mouse we'll be fine.

Little shit locked in the coal bunker tonight.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 09, 2017, 05:13:41 PM
Wow... other people just have to learn social skills, not our Queenie. Plus she has a kind of panic button thing for whenever a guest is annoying her- I bet it's really connected to the trapdoor over her piranha tank.

I've just been catching up with this thread for the first time in a few days. I was all poised to respond to this with something to the effect that it's not the Cunt of Death who needs the panic button but rather the poor saps she subjects to her sour, wizened old chops, and then, a mere few posts later, the very proof of that idea in the form of Legend Alfie.

G'wan little Alfie my son:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461)

I wonder which palace is now adorned by his tarred head on a spike. Farewell, lil trooper. We 'ardly knew ya.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 09, 2017, 05:17:44 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/TiwVN4o.jpg)

There's something horribly Imperial about seeing someone dressed in British army gear dragging a helpless little whelp about by the wrist in front of the "queen". Bet they thrashed him by jove and blew him from a gun five seconds after that picture was taken.

Also, for about the sevent hundredth time, lol at Phillip's ill-gotten medals. Wider than a toddler is tall, fucking hell.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 09, 2017, 07:09:37 PM
Paul Burrell is back in the news, trying and, it would seem, failing, to sell some salacious stories along the lines of Butler Buzza: Bumlord of Buckingham & Britannia (Sun link coming up, apols) - https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/3035809/paul-burrell-reveals-he-had-gay-orgy-on-royal-yacht-britannia-and-the-queen-knew-about-it-then-told-him-to-find-a-nice-girl-and-get-married/ (https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/3035809/paul-burrell-reveals-he-had-gay-orgy-on-royal-yacht-britannia-and-the-queen-knew-about-it-then-told-him-to-find-a-nice-girl-and-get-married/):

Quote
Paul wants to talk about the scandal that happened on the Royal Yacht Britannia, which is where members of the navy were dismissed for being caught up in a gay orgy.

Paul was there. But he wasn’t arrested or subjected to any sort of criminal charges, because he was the Queen’s right hand man at that point.

It’s believed the Queen pulled him to one side and told him how disappointed she was and told him he had to get back on the right track and find himself a nice girl and become married.

...

He’ll talk about life in Buckingham Palace, entering as an 18-year-old with no sexual experience whatsoever he soon learned that there was a gay predatory culture run by older gay men.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 09, 2017, 08:59:41 PM
Popbitch are claiming no-one was surprised by the news that Paul Burrell is gay. Well, I was surprised- I had thought he only had eyes for a cardboard cut-out of Diana dressed in a pair of her (stolen) pants.

As for audacious little Alfie, I bet his father put a bucket of cold water in the back yard and made Alfie submerge his head in the water and run in circles round the bucket while Army Dad yelled 'EADINTHEBUCKET 'EADINTHEBUCKET 'EADINTHEBUCKET.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 09, 2017, 09:05:15 PM
Burrell has always carried the almost moulded manner of institutionalised homoeroticism. I bet nearly all his social circles involved rampant rugger-buggering, homoerotic initiation tests all designed to gradually normalise sucking off superiors in the bogs and getting guiltgasms penisways via the prostate department, all behaviour included being the product of powerful men with too much free time and no women around.

Also the decades of shamelessness and careerism smack of an arch-poof.

And you can fucking tell him that from me.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 09, 2017, 10:20:32 PM
Burrell has always carried the almost moulded manner of institutionalised homoeroticism. I bet nearly all his social circles involved rampant rugger-buggering, homoerotic initiation tests all designed to gradually normalise sucking off superiors in the bogs and getting guiltgasms penisways via the prostate department, all behaviour included being the product of powerful men with too much free time and no women around.

Also the decades of shamelessness and careerism smack of an arch-poof.

And you can fucking tell him that from me.

I will tell him, just as soon as I've finished wanking over all that homo hotness.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on March 10, 2017, 05:33:50 AM
Not only was I not surprised by the news that PB was gay, but I didn't even know it was a secret until now.  It just seemed obvious, I'm afraid.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on March 10, 2017, 09:25:23 AM
I didn't think he was either gay or straight, but a new sexuality, 'annoying-twatual'
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 10, 2017, 09:29:30 AM
Not only was I not surprised by the news that PB was gay, but I didn't even know it was a secret until now.  It just seemed obvious, I'm afraid.

Were you surprised about the supposed royal yacht orgies?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 10, 2017, 10:06:50 AM
The only man close to Diana who wasn't shagging her[1]- he was obviously gay or asexual. That's probably why Charles or whoever hired him. He didn't mind being called "her rock" either, no whining about the frienddzone from him.

The other day I was wondering if there is a bleaker celebrity than Paul Burrell, when the Popbitch email alleged he was a friend of Michael Barrymore[2]. Also Paul Burrell is looking rather like Paul Ross these days. Perhaps Burrell himself is the very axis of bleak.
 1. Apart from Charles, ho-ho!
 2. Not a euphemism.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on March 10, 2017, 01:38:35 PM
Were you surprised about the supposed royal yacht orgies?

Yes, yes I was.

I was also somewhat surprised that Liz actually told him to find a nice girl and settle down in order to "cure" him.  My Mum's five years older than Queenie, has been a devout member of a rather homophobic religion since the 1950s, and even she would have more sense than to suggest that old line, even back in 1981.

Having gone to The Sun article to discover the year in which the orgy happened and the Queen gave her advice, am astonished to learn that PB had a wife for 32 years... poor cow (unless she was a lesbian beard, but it seems probably not).

So it seems that I'm surprised about everything else!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: biggytitbo on March 10, 2017, 01:46:19 PM
Quote
He’ll talk about life in Buckingham Palace, entering an 18-year-old with no sexual experience

Disgusting man, hopefully Phil will have him 'taken care of' and 'assassinated in a staged car accident'.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 10, 2017, 01:48:07 PM
Was anyone surprised by the revelation that Kate worked as a "yacht girl" in Cannes? I was more surprised by the fact that she had actually sort of had a job.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on March 10, 2017, 01:52:00 PM
Disgusting man, hopefully Phil will have him 'taken care of' and 'assassinated in a staged car accident'.

It's the way he would have wanted to go.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on March 10, 2017, 04:45:57 PM
What's a Yacht girl? Is it like a cabin boy? They hang around on boats for bumming purposes?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 10, 2017, 05:19:46 PM
Yacht Girls work on yachts, serving millionaires with drinks and absolutely nothing else they may request, officer.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 10, 2017, 05:44:10 PM
I hope some intolerable hardship befalls her as soon as feasible and that she does soon after.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ptolemy Ptarmigan on March 10, 2017, 07:08:45 PM
The Times thinks an unwanted Tony Blair at a sombre memorial is the main story, completely missing a grief-stricken Prince Andrew being comforted by the Lord Lieutenant.

(http://i.imgur.com/zhmVWje.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 11, 2017, 09:32:16 AM
^^^That must have been one really funny rape joke.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on March 11, 2017, 10:29:19 AM
The thing we can't forget about Burrell, of course, is that he knows all sorts about the Royals. Remember how the Queen stepped in to effectively collapse his trial for nicking Diana's stuff before he could give a scheduled two days worth of evidence, aimed at underscoring how close he was to Diana and how that definitely meant it was fine he stuffed loads of her things into his car and then hid them in his attic.

What a pity we never got to hear that evidence. How handy for the Royals that the Queen remembered that she said it was OK if he took a load of Diana's things.

Peter Philips's company made £750,000 out of The Patronising Lunch (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39183622)

Nice work if you can get it from your granny. I bet the pensioners who got rained on as they ate the soggy pre-packed M&S scotch eggs they paid £150 for are laughing now.

Quote
The lunch raised £384,000 before tax.

Fuckin ell.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on March 11, 2017, 10:35:10 AM
Oh, he's still going:

(http://i.imgur.com/HpTzWKX.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 11, 2017, 11:05:25 AM
Well we all know that the ghost of Diana was present at PissSack II's christening, so why wouldn't it also visit Paul Burrell and wank him off in the night?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on March 11, 2017, 11:07:55 AM
Quote
     >> Pauline conversion <<
    The butler did it ages ago

  To the surprise of precisely
  no-one, Paul Burrell – the
  former butler and confidante
  to Princess Diana – has come
  out as gay.

  Burrell has claimed that Diana
  was "the only woman who knew",
  which seems somewhat naive. But
  even if he's right, there were
  plenty of men who knew. Not
  least Michael Barrymore, who
  is a friend of Burrell's.

  The two of them used to have
  parties at Burrell's house
  where they would both get
  dressed up in Diana's clothes.

Is, I wonder, Diana's ghost present in these special moments?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 11, 2017, 11:33:15 AM
Which episode of Jam was that?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on March 11, 2017, 02:39:02 PM
Fuckin' 'ell at that Blair photo.  I think the word is "haunted".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 16, 2017, 11:50:16 AM
There was a long and quite interesting article in today's Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/16/what-happens-when-queen-elizabeth-dies-london-bridge) about the plans for the Queen's death and funeral, known as Operation London Bridge.

Yet again, I was stunned by the absurdity of it all. Interestingly, it is implied that a lot of the archaic rituals that surround royal funerals were invented in the late nineteenth-century, and earlier events were far less polished. I can't help but wonder if this was a response to the challenge of more democratic ideals that was emerging in that period, with the sense of awe intended to batter the population into submission. It also shows these ideas don't stretch into time immemorial as much as is claimed.

As peculiar as the grand ceremony of the funeral will be, the little details fleshed out are just as weird. Noting that radio stations have bands of music prepared that are suitable for times of mourning (and instrumental music is preferred to prevent unintentionally insensitive lyrics being aired), it is suggested that ambient music might be widely played. Not a bad thing at all! But in terms of the wide impact on the public, I cannot help but think the plans are optimistic about the willingness people will have to participate. I am constantly surprised and saddened by how little republican sentiment there is among much of the British public, but I still find it hard to believe that "buses will stop and drivers will get out at the side of the road" when the hearse draws up to the doors of Westminster Abbey. Similar stories of mourning from the death of George VI (including the passengers of an aeroplane unanimously standing with their heads bowed at a similar moment) feel like stories from a very different age. Although I expect a spirit of forced deference to be imposed on the public (largely by themselves), I also hope people will be more realistic about how the world has changed and see at least some of these plans for the nonsense they are.

One part of the article was surprisingly heartening. Some of the negative reactions around the death of King George VI are mentioned, including a complaint about the "maudlin music" played on the radio and someone in a pub saying "he's only shit and soil now like anyone else". While I doubt that person came away unscathed, it shows that even in that time and place, there was dissent.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 16, 2017, 12:06:33 PM
Fuckin' 'ell at that Blair photo.  I think the word is "haunted".

Definitely

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4f/Slimer.jpeg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 16, 2017, 12:10:33 PM
There was a long and quite interesting article in today's Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/16/what-happens-when-queen-elizabeth-dies-london-bridge) about the plans for the Queen's death and funeral, known as Operation London Bridge.

Yet again, I was stunned by the absurdity of it all. Interestingly, it is implied that a lot of the archaic rituals that surround royal funerals were invented in the late nineteenth-century, and earlier events were far less polished. I can't help but wonder if this was a response to the challenge of more democratic ideals that was emerging in that period, with the sense of awe intended to batter the population into submission. It also shows these ideas don't stretch into time immemorial as much as is claimed.

As peculiar as the grand ceremony of the funeral will be, the little details fleshed out are just as weird. Noting that radio stations have bands of music prepared that are suitable for times of mourning (and instrumental music is preferred to prevent unintentionally insensitive lyrics being aired), it is suggested that ambient music might be widely played. Not a bad thing at all! But in terms of the wide impact on the public, I cannot help but think the plans are optimistic about the willingness people will have to participate. I am constantly surprised and saddened by how little republican sentiment there is among much of the British public, but I still find it hard to believe that "buses will stop and drivers will get out at the side of the road" when the hearse draws up to the doors of Westminster Abbey. Similar stories of mourning from the death of George VI (including the passengers of an aeroplane unanimously standing with their heads bowed at a similar moment) feel like stories from a very different age. Although I expect a spirit of forced deference to be imposed on the public (largely by themselves), I also hope people will be more realistic about how the world has changed and see at least some of these plans for the nonsense they are.

One part of the article was surprisingly heartening. Some of the negative reactions around the death of King George VI are mentioned, including a complaint about the "maudlin music" played on the radio and someone in a pub saying "he's only shit and soil now like anyone else". While I doubt that person came away unscathed, it shows that even in that time and place, there was dissent.

One thing's for sure...guaranteed...

Gazza Barlow
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 16, 2017, 12:30:18 PM
"She's only shit 'n' soil now." Thanks, got that one filed away ready to trot out time and again after her CoDness carks it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 16, 2017, 01:07:12 PM
"She's only shit 'n' soil now." Thanks, got that one filed away ready to trot out time and again after her CoDness carks it.

"Your honour"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 16, 2017, 01:47:49 PM
It will be a sordid grief contest, several weeks worth of unbearable sycophancy rounded off by the plonking on the throne of the elderly Bald of Wales or his balder son.

North Koreans will look on puzzled how it could happen in a secular free democracy.

Feudal serfs despised and hated their masters, so in a way we have regressed and are regressing further in our desperate attempt to cobble together a national identity beyond consuming at chain stores.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on March 16, 2017, 02:13:41 PM
I like the idea of only ambient music being played on the radio. I reckon that if for one day each week only ambient music were played on the radio, the UK would be a much nicer place.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 16, 2017, 03:15:36 PM
I like the idea of only ambient music being played on the radio. I reckon that if for one day each week only ambient music were played on the radio, the UK would be  a much nicer place.

Something like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9CADWnzD_8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9CADWnzD_8)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ham Bap on March 16, 2017, 04:27:20 PM
One thing's for sure...guaranteed...

Gazza Barlow

Paul McCartney with a 2 hour version of Hey Jude as they lower the coffin very slowly into the ground.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Petey Pate on March 16, 2017, 04:38:58 PM
Interestingly, it is implied that a lot of the archaic rituals that surround royal funerals were invented in the late nineteenth-century, and earlier events were far less polished. I can't help but wonder if this was a response to the challenge of more democratic ideals that was emerging in that period, with the sense of awe intended to batter the population into submission. It also shows these ideas don't stretch into time immemorial as much as is claimed.

Inventing traditions and creating a false sense of historical lineage is a common practice of nation states.  As the historian Eric Hobsbawn argued, the chief purpose of doing so is to inculcate values and norms of behaviour into the population.  A lot of supposed 'age old' customs in the Houses of Parliament were invented in the nineteenth-century too.

That said, I'd definitely attend the Queen's funeral... to make sure that she is really dead.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on March 16, 2017, 04:41:28 PM
I predict there will be a larger proportion of our population who's only response to the long awaited passing of CoD will be 'I don't give a fuck mate, I just want my bank holiday' than there were at the heart queen princess woman's death.

Or more succinctly, there's not going to be as many fake crocs around when it happens as one might think there will.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Petey Pate on March 16, 2017, 04:45:00 PM
I predict there will be a larger proportion of our population who's only response to the long awaited passing of CoD will be 'I don't give a fuck mate, I just want my bank holiday' than there were at the heart queen princess woman's death.

Or more succinctly, there's not going to be as many fake crocs around when it happens as one might think there will.

I suspect that you're right, but I doubt that this reality would be reflected in the country's media.

At the last Royal Wedding most people I spoke to were just happy to have an extra day to get pissed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on March 16, 2017, 04:49:30 PM
I suspect that you're right, but I doubt that this reality would be reflected in the country's media.

At the last Royal Wedding most people I spoke to were just happy to have an extra day to get pissed.

Yeah the media will be milking as much out of it as possible. It's going to be a dark period my friend. Very dark.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 16, 2017, 06:50:04 PM
Inventing traditions and creating a false sense of historical lineage is a common practice of nation states.  As the historian Eric Hobsbawn argued, the chief purpose of doing so is to inculcate values and norms of behaviour into the population.  A lot of supposed 'age old' customs in the Houses of Parliament were invented in the nineteenth-century too.

That makes a lot of sense. It creates a sense of natural order and normalises things like royal pageantry that look totally bizarre out of context. Even though I think all of the pomp and ceremony is just shit that papers over the massive cracks in the idea of a monarchy, I was still slightly surprised to realise just how constructed all of this stuff is. I can only assume it's evolved even further in tandem with media and technology, as there is now a far bigger audience to impress (and blind) than there once would have been.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: pigamus on March 16, 2017, 07:08:45 PM
Fuckin' 'ell at that Blair photo.  I think the word is "haunted".

He's a hard fucking man to haunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on March 16, 2017, 07:21:38 PM
There's a chilling phrase in that piece, about how the queen's mourning period will catch the spirit of the Brexit times. I'm shutting myself indoors for ten days and not speaking to anyone. Can't be too careful. It's inevitable I'll end up in Tesco buying ale and be beaten up by some cunt for being disrespectful.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 16, 2017, 09:27:53 PM
There's a chilling phrase in that piece, about how the queen's mourning period will catch the spirit of the Brexit times. I'm shutting myself indoors for ten days and not speaking to anyone. Can't be too careful. It's inevitable I'll end up in Tesco buying ale and be beaten up by some cunt for being disrespectful.


Ever since I moved to Ireland, I've been hoping it happens while I'm here so I don't somehow get accused of being disrespectful (and also get to be actually disrespectful if I want). The worst case scenario is it happens while I'm visiting home and the ensuing mourning period somehow disrupts my flight back, forcing me to stay for the entirety of the madness.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 17, 2017, 12:47:41 AM
That makes a lot of sense. It creates a sense of natural order and normalises things like royal pageantry that look totally bizarre out of context. Even though I think all of the pomp and ceremony is just shit that papers over the massive cracks in the idea of a monarchy, I was still slightly surprised to realise just how constructed all of this stuff is. I can only assume it's evolved even further in tandem with media and technology, as there is now a far bigger audience to impress (and blind) than there once would have been.

A lot of what is assumed to be age-old about the monarchy only goes back to Victoria, and probably represents an unconscious effort to claw back some of Britain's waning power and influence. A lot of our traditions in general only date back to the the Victorian period as well - white Christmases via Dickens and white weddings via Victoria herself being two obvious examples.

Incidentally, anyone care to coin a CaB-friendly and less fawning name for the Victorian era?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 17, 2017, 12:53:56 AM
This, apparently, is the Cod's signature:

(http://i.imgur.com/s1Eaxcr.png)

Who knew "Elujabeth R" was short for "woman whose fanny and anus deserve to be filled with bees"?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on March 17, 2017, 05:10:20 AM
Whilst the scene in Britain may be rough, I'd rather be over here and lying low than in the US, especially given that I usually stay with a pal who is a dyed-in-the-wool Anglophiliac whose in depth knowledge of current British culture and society come from Master and Commander and Jane Austen books.

So what I'm saying is, the Queen had better hang on until at least 27th April this year.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: biggytitbo on March 17, 2017, 07:13:12 AM
There was a long and quite interesting article in today's Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/16/what-happens-when-queen-elizabeth-dies-london-bridge) about the plans for the Queen's death and funeral..


***masturbates***
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: shiftwork2 on March 17, 2017, 07:17:49 AM
There was a long and quite interesting article in today's Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/16/what-happens-when-queen-elizabeth-dies-london-bridge) about the plans for the Queen's death and funeral, known as Operation London Bridge.

Also known as 'Operation yes, we get the day off work'.  Ploughed through half the article before I found the only thing that matters.  What you doing?  A lovely day at the zoo I think.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 17, 2017, 08:38:26 AM
My wife said that her sister had been watching Russian news (ok, ok) and they were reporting that the Queen was on her death bed...it was so troubling that her sister called my wife to pass on her condolences.

I quickly reached for the phone and checked the news sites. Nothing.

Do the Russians know something? I guess they are unworried about press muzzling.

However, they also reported that Wills and Kate are expecting a third child and apparently showed Kate with a new bump.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 17, 2017, 09:23:00 AM
Quote
From the Foreign Office’s Global Response Centre, at an undisclosed location in the capital, the news will go out to the 15 governments outside the UK where the Queen is also the head of state, and the 36 other nations of the Commonwealth for whom she has served as a symbolic figurehead – a face familiar in dreams and the untidy drawings of a billion schoolchildren – since the dawn of the atomic age.

That Guardian article is pure The Day Today... But for me one bit stands out::

Quote
In these last hours, the Queen's senior doctor, a gastroenterologist...

She's gonna die of the shits, people.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 17, 2017, 09:25:22 AM
My favourite bit from that Guardian article:

She's gonna die of the shits, people.

what - so this is news...i thought it was just Russian propaganda
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on March 17, 2017, 09:49:43 AM
Remember when she disappeared over Christmas and we all thought she was dead. Good times!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on March 17, 2017, 09:50:28 AM
Quote
The King’s life is moving peacefully towards its close,” was the final notice issued by George V’s doctor, Lord Dawson, at 9.30pm on the night of 20 January 1936. Not long afterwards, Dawson injected the king with 750mg of morphine and a gram of cocaine – enough to kill him twice over – in order to ease the monarch’s suffering, and to have him expire in time for the printing presses of the Times, which rolled at midnight.

Crikey, didn't know this! Kingslayer Dawson over here.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 17, 2017, 10:27:11 AM
It rather takes the edge of coolness off the speedball to learn that old George went the way of Layne Staley, John Belushi et al.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on March 17, 2017, 10:35:21 AM
There's a certain profundity to the fact that he was bumped off to fit in with the news schedule.

Sadly, with that advent of rolling news, Queenie can go whenever she sees fit. How selfish!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on March 17, 2017, 12:52:32 PM
Also known as 'Operation yes, we get the day off work'.  Ploughed through half the article before I found the only thing that matters.  What you doing?  A lovely day at the zoo I think.

It will have to be a zoo somewhere abroad. Everything will be shut. Everything.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on March 18, 2017, 01:24:26 AM
If she does go, the new one pound coins (already minted, no doubt, but not set to be distributed until 28th March) will be worth a fortune if anyone can get their hands on some.

I wonder if they've already prepped up a profile shot of Charles for the next batch?  They must have done, surely.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Uncle TechTip on March 18, 2017, 01:35:15 AM
One gets the feeling we're being softened up for something. When was she last seen alive?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 18, 2017, 10:30:34 AM
Steady, we thought the same thing over Christmas before she popped up again a couple of weeks later. It's probably that now she's older, she has to spend increasingly long times basking to bring her blood up to temperature.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Twit 2 on March 18, 2017, 01:37:19 PM
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on March 18, 2017, 03:07:24 PM
I sincerely hope they are all murdered rather than merely dying.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Zetetic on March 18, 2017, 04:58:20 PM
Presumably the death train will still bear a DB logo?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Zetetic on March 18, 2017, 05:17:54 PM
Ideal timing would be just after Article 50 and just before the magnox storage pond at Sellafield goes critical. The former for aesthetic reasons, the second to enable a hilarious mix-up between a lead-lined coffin and lead-lined sarcophagus.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 19, 2017, 12:45:51 PM
Wills and Kate celebrated St. Patrick's Day by pretending to drink Guinness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUQNI9yTPj0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUQNI9yTPj0)

Kate in particular reacts like she's been handed a glass of poisoned sick- relax Kate, they're only the Irish Guards, not Prince Philip.

Camilla would have downed it in one.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on March 19, 2017, 04:40:31 PM
Kate in particular reacts like she's been handed a glass of poisoned sick...

Well if the rumours are true that she's pregnant yet again, that might be why.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 20, 2017, 05:44:28 PM
What's Wills' excuse then? Nah, I'm not buying that one- the pregnancy rumours have been pretty much constant since the Heir was joined by The Spare, I just think the pair of them are just awkward and uncomfortable with their duties and unable to relax or mix with the plebs. Even the regimental Irish wolfhound looks embarrassed for them:

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/03/17/12/3E5D6D7400000578-4323110-image-m-45_1489755128841.jpg)

Also I doubt Kate is pregnant if she's now looking like this even when covered up by a thick winter coat:

(http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/catherine-duchess-of-cambridge-hair-detail-presents-the-1st-battalion-picture-id654416102)

That pic is frightening, I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for her.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 20, 2017, 05:48:16 PM
Maybe Wills was just feeling a bit delicate after his latest period of skiving "lads skiing holiday (http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/03/prince-william-ski-trip-alps-commonwealth-day)". Perhaps he was also worn out after all that dad dancing on his own:

(http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/106/590x/prince-william-dancing-779439.jpg)

(http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/106/590x/secondary/prince-william-dancing-ski-trip-864539.jpg)

(http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/106/590x/secondary/prince-william-dancing-864549.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on March 20, 2017, 06:05:43 PM
What's Wills' excuse then? Nah, I'm not buying that one- the pregnancy rumours have been pretty much constant since the Heir was joined by The Spare, I just think the pair of them are just awkward and uncomfortable with their duties and unable to relax or mix with the plebs [...]

Also I doubt Kate is pregnant if she's now looking like this even when covered up by a thick winter coat [...] That pic is frightening, I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for her.

Heh, I hadn't actually watched the video until now -- until recently this laptop wouldn't play videos properly and I still haven't fully retrained myself to remember that clicking Youtube links now works without it shutting down due to overheating.[1]

So yeah, now having actually watched it, and looked at your photo, I agree that it's most unlikely the poor skeletal cow is pregnant.  I only mentioned it because the rumour was something I'd read elsewhere literally seconds before entering the thread, and thus it was fresh in my mind.

William seems ok with his Guinness though, it's just the rest of the posing around he seems to hate (as does she, from the looks of things).

 1. It's amazing what a tube of fresh thermal compound will do.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 20, 2017, 06:30:20 PM
I know presenters of Working Lunch sometimes have to muck in for the sake of a report but that's going too far.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on March 20, 2017, 08:03:53 PM
(http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/106/590x/secondary/prince-william-dancing-864549.jpg)

Nick Ross: "And remember... don't have nightmares!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 20, 2017, 08:13:14 PM
Note Wills is once again using the distraction tactic of positioning himself near someone even balder than he is in a desperate bid to look less bald.

It gets even worse: the song Wills was dad dancing to is alleged to have been I Got 5 On It by Luniz. Just try and picture that:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-4314644/Prince-William-turn-public-fatally-against-monarchy.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-4314644/Prince-William-turn-public-fatally-against-monarchy.html)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quincey on March 22, 2017, 01:55:01 PM
Independent article claims that when the Queen dies the London Stock Exchange will close, which could cost the country billions.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 22, 2017, 01:59:48 PM
Independent article claims that when the Queen dies the London Stock Exchange will close, which could cost the country billions.

The billions we don't have.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on March 22, 2017, 02:30:04 PM
(http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/106/590x/secondary/prince-william-dancing-864549.jpg)(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rPwS1pZ4Lxo/U0nREAtcWUI/AAAAAAAAASc/vQjP_ozTBF0/s1600/Little_Man_Dancing.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 22, 2017, 02:57:08 PM
Why are those photos so shit. I thought we were in a brave new era of smartphones?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Crabwalk on March 22, 2017, 08:30:32 PM
(http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/catherine-duchess-of-cambridge-hair-detail-presents-the-1st-battalion-picture-id654416102)

That pic is frightening, I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for her.

Yes, she seems to have robocop's tits on her back.

(https://georgespigot.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/robocop-1987-02.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dex Sawash on March 22, 2017, 09:50:06 PM
Is Waity's flesh drifting south?
Bones poking out up top yet quite fleshy in the calf[1]
 1. not body shaming
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on March 22, 2017, 10:04:55 PM
CoD has cancelled her trip to the Met's New Scotland Yard HQ tomorrow.

HOW CONVENIENT
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on March 23, 2017, 12:52:23 AM
What's Chuck doing? I never hear about our next in line, it's always Brenda and the Do-nothings.

Just checked Google and he's poncing about in Settle (http://www.cravenherald.co.uk/news/15173311.UPDATED_with_picture_gallery__Princes_Charles_stops_in_Settle_on_visit_to_Yorkshire/). Hope he trips and falls into the Ribble.[1]
 1. We can all have a Giggleswick about that, eh readers?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 24, 2017, 05:19:33 PM
I just looked up Paul Burrell, a fixture in my former neck of the woods, and found one of the most damning lines on Wikipedia.

Quote
Burrell claimed that Diana, Princess of Wales had described him as "the only man she ever trusted", although since her death there is only Burrell's own writing to support this statement.

Very much the adult equivalent of a lad whose dad got a prototype Playstation 7 in Japan, but you can't see it because it's in the loft and only works with fingerprint recognition.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 24, 2017, 06:40:04 PM
Haha.

I see Georgie Porgie Pudding and Twat has been sent off to one of This Britain's Private Schools.

No chance our beloved Ponce and Poncess would send the cunt to a state school but it does make you think when they patronise those schools on visits and suchlike how hollow and meaningless it is. Just like them.

It goes without saying I hope the 1950s Billy Cunter is thrown out of a second floor window in a hilarious initian prank and permanently paralysed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Mr Eggs on March 26, 2017, 02:43:26 AM
Quote
deliberate?
 Drone almost hits Prince William's helicopter in near-miss
The terrifying incident happened at 1,900ft while flying over a McDonald's

From The Daily Mail. The fat bald cunt.

Quote
The Duke of Cambridge regularly pilots Anglia Two but was not on board

Whut?

For fuck?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 26, 2017, 11:13:28 AM
From The Daily Mail. The fat bald cunt.

Whut?

For fuck?

Engineered news.

"The Royal Family were nearly wiped out in entirety today when a house in Bridgeport exploded after a gas leak. The Royal Family were not in the Country at the time"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 03, 2017, 11:11:50 PM
Fucking hell! They've been hammering Prince Bants' latest bit of community service today

Stilted and awkward meeting with an arr bwave bouys who lost his legs and now is planning to jog about the desert like a loon.

http://www.itv.com/news/2017-04-03/prince-harry-stuns-double-amputee-with-surprise-visit-during-training-for-marathon-des-sables/
Quote
After all the build up and briefing about Prince Harry’s arrival, I wasn’t quite prepared for the relaxed and casually dressed figure that suddenly appeared outside the heat chamber.

He had come here to wish his friend Duncan Slater good luck in his attempt to complete the Marathon des Sables.
...
The prince was clearly relishing the chance to make mischief here, as I showed His Royal Highness into the sauna-like heat. My final words were prophetic - I joked to Prince Harry: “I hope he doesn’t swear”; seconds later Duncan nearly fell off the running machine as he uttered a couple of ripe Anglo-Saxon exclamations on spotting the Royal with whom he had shared a tent on a previous expedition to the South Pole.

It was a classic “gotcha” moment.

Awwwww, bless

Quote
I can see why Prince Harry is so determined to champion the heroism and true grit of former servicemen like Duncan.

At a time when Britain faces so many uncertainties, from Brexit to Scottish independence, Duncan represents the best of British, taking on the Everest of running races with a smile and a joke, describing it as a “good day out”.

Jezus!!!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 03, 2017, 11:14:13 PM
Quote
At a time when Britain faces so many uncertainties, from Brexit to Scottish independence, Duncan represents the best of British, taking on the Everest of running races with a smile and a joke, describing it as a “good day out”

Die in a fire, war spacker.[1]
 1. oh no wait, please don't
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 04, 2017, 08:37:47 AM
"awwww, he's awrite really, that 'Arry, ain't he. 'ere give the Royals Peggy and Timmy's savings will yer Johnny"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: A Car With No Doors on April 04, 2017, 08:47:16 AM
Sad thing is this will be apparently be another thing to demonise the SNP for, because the well being and taxpayer funded luxury of ARE QUEEN is more important than stuff that actually needs the money.

Still, those bad benefits claimants, eh?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: monkfromhavana on April 13, 2017, 02:04:47 PM
The CoD and Prince Racist were in Leicester today, their motorcade passing within spitting distance of my work. Being a massive fan of taking time off work, with my big boss and teammate wanting to go and see, I went along  freezing my nads off with a union jack flag.

Lots of middle-aged, sad looking men with faded carrier bags, parents with kids, pensioners and about 50% immigrants.

I didn't wave my flag and settled on a look of intense boredom i made eye contact fleetingly with big Phil. Face of evil and the CoD doesn't seem to be dead after all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 13, 2017, 02:06:25 PM
is this a coded message or are your hands frozen?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: monkfromhavana on April 13, 2017, 03:43:00 PM
I was struck by patriotic fever and it made my fingers go wonky with pride.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 13, 2017, 08:59:10 PM
Face of evil and the CoD doesn't seem to be dead after all.

Weekendday at BernieBrenda's
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on April 14, 2017, 03:33:32 AM
..
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Thomas on April 14, 2017, 08:37:44 PM
The article posted here a few pages back, about the intricately and absurdly plotted aftermath of the Queen's death, is amazing. It's insightful and unique pieces like that that tempt me into considering the Guardian's desperate pleas for donation.

High absurdity. It will be a magnificently weird spectacle. A lot of people will be saddened when the beloved ol' Queen dies - just as they were, for whatever reason, gladdened by the royal wedding - and lots of 'quirky', proud British facts will be shared on Facebook with that picture of her driving a jeep (http://www.celebritycarsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/queen-elizabeth-driving.jpg), but I think, or hope, that there might come a critical mass point, some days into the bizarre funereal pantomime, when the 21st century public begin to glance at each other and whisper '... bit weird, all this, innit?'

I wonder if anybody will be arrested for disrespectful tweets or forum posts or thread titles.

#shitandsoil
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 14, 2017, 08:54:05 PM
I'll be testing this as I'll be expressing my delight she is dead.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 19, 2017, 04:14:46 PM
Arise Sir Victoria Beckham, your fashion is spoiling us

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/B81A/production/_95703174_hi039064554.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 19, 2017, 08:36:12 PM
A true meeting of minds, that.

Thank you for your bit part in a long defunct girl band. Have a big badge.

Thank you, bald gurning tree trunk, it is an honour
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 20, 2017, 10:21:21 AM
It would have been much more fitting to have had Kate giving her the big badge ("...so, you design clothes? I wear clothes! That's marvellous!") but I guess the CoD doesn't trust the commoners who marry into her ghastly family enough to let them take on such big responsibilities.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 20, 2017, 10:48:04 AM
It looks like some old codger with Alzheimer's is having a moment in the background too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on April 20, 2017, 12:43:40 PM
(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/B81A/production/_95703174_hi039064554.jpg)

"If you ever get depressed that David might be having an affair, talk to Harry. He's an expert at The Depression now."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 21, 2017, 01:44:34 PM
Kate's "colourful" uncle Legend Gary Goldsmith has apparently been mouthing off at Gary Lineker on Twitter, though I can't find any of the tweets mentioned by the Daily Heil here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4431086/Kate-s-uncle-lashes-pious-Lineker.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4431086/Kate-s-uncle-lashes-pious-Lineker.html)

Quote
The Duchess of Cambridge is far too vacuous and insipid discreet to get involved in party politics.

However, her colourful uncle Gary Goldsmith has no such reservation.
Carole Middleton’s brother decided to give both barrels to Gary Lineker after the former England footballer-turned-sanctimonious social media whinger suggested Theresa May was insane [he said the same of Corbyn and Farron, but the Mail chose to overlook that].

‘Lunatics running the world and a choice between May, Corbyn and Farron,’ Lineker sarcastically commented. ‘How joyous.’

This infuriated Goldsmith, who attended the Royal Wedding and has hosted Prince William and Kate at his Ibiza party palace La Maison de Bang Bang.
‘How can you possibly knock the current PM?’ he demanded of Lineker.
‘Based on what, you pious, self-righteous bore!’
Gary 1, Gary 0.

Uncle Legend Gary is a Tory, who'd have thought it... Sorry for the mail link but I love all the comments attacking Gary Lineker for earning his millions by the sordid means of playing football and advertising crisps, while failing to ask how Uncle Legend Gary earned his...

I love the way his Twitter bio (https://mobile.twitter.com/garygoldsmith65) describes him as a "RECRUITMENT Investor" with "recruitment" in all caps, as if there was any reason to suspect that he may be an investor in other things. It's not far off "Legitimate Businessman".

(http://www.celebdirtylaundry.com/wp-content/uploads/gary-goldsmith.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 21, 2017, 05:14:25 PM
Quote
This infuriated Goldsmith, who attended the Royal Wedding and has hosted Prince William and Kate at his Ibiza party palace La Maison de Bang Bang.

1st class wanker deserving a slap down
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 21, 2017, 05:35:05 PM
Revolting, like finding a swag bag but opening it to discover all it contains is loads of dead cum.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on April 21, 2017, 06:23:35 PM
I like how to the Mail the metric of wether you're allowed to have a political opinion or not is basically "do you support the Tories?"

If yes, fire away. If no, you're a sanctimonious bore who should STICK TO YOUR DAY JOB WHATEVER THAT IS RATHER THAN COMMENTING ON POLITICS
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on April 22, 2017, 12:22:05 PM
Quote
The prince also revealed he had previously texted in to Radio 1, under an assumed name.

Along with song requests, he's also asked for - and got - a shout out from former Radio 1 DJ Sara Cox.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39668107/duke-and-duchess-surprise-radio-1-dj-as-part-of-mental-health-campaign

Watch out Harry, Wills is rivalling you for extreme levels of banter.

Also, Kate Middleton sounds more android than human in that little segment they did. Perhaps her true identity is finally coming to light.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 22, 2017, 01:06:32 PM
Blatant lies and propaganda. Disgusting. Did he wear a baseball hat on back to front when he rocked up?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: colacentral on April 22, 2017, 01:54:13 PM
Why would a millionaire man in his 30s be making song requests to radio 1?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 22, 2017, 01:55:56 PM
Why would a millionaire man in his 30s be making song requests to radio 1?

Desperation of a gutter wanker made out of raped maggots.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 22, 2017, 03:03:32 PM
Is it my imagination, or are Bantz and the Do-nothings having a bit of a media blitz at the moment? What's the angle? Why now?

Surely they should be (desperately) trying to buff up Chuck's public image? After all, it won't be long before we have to put up with his mug on the cash and stamps.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 22, 2017, 03:08:50 PM
Yeah they've been on the charm offensive.

Cunt of Death's Deathday, Banter Harry doing the Mentals Health and Bald Gurning Tree Trunk doing being at a thing and smiling.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on April 22, 2017, 05:40:54 PM
Is it my imagination, or are Bantz and the Do-nothings having a bit of a media blitz at the moment? What's the angle? Why now?

To lull the public into a false sense of security, then leg it into the top secret bunker when nuclear Armageddon begins.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 22, 2017, 07:18:24 PM
it would be nice to see a newspaper report that this is propaganda. just once. They must have done it pre-Diana's death.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Sal Vicuso on April 22, 2017, 10:00:18 PM
Tabloids are saying that Airmiles Andy is having it away with Kylie. 2016 is supposed to be over dammit!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 23, 2017, 11:24:39 AM
Tabloids are saying that Airmiles Andy is having it away with Kylie. 2016 is supposed to be over dammit!

Nah, not having that one. Didn't she get married?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 23, 2017, 04:34:18 PM
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10159093116345643&id=500345642

Inspiring video about comradeship and perseverance at the London marathon

You'll never guess which two bald perma-holidaying scroungers manage to crowbar their way into the video despite doing NOTHING.

The sycophancy is unbelievable
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 01, 2017, 11:33:53 PM
Yeah they've been on the charm offensive.

Cunt of Death's Deathday, Banter Harry doing the Mentals Health and Bald Gurning Tree Trunk doing being at a thing and smiling.

...and now a "cute" photo released for Princess Spare's second birthday:

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/340/cpsprodpb/E3E9/production/_95854385_c5826bca-0605-4d56-a5a8-8ab38b325c25.jpg)

She's a Middleton alright, the spitting image of Pippa- half as orange but twice as pointless.

Note the photos credited to Kate here (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39769990)- she's a very talented photographer you know, taking photos of... er... her kids...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Mr Eggs on May 02, 2017, 12:07:35 AM


(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/340/cpsprodpb/E3E9/production/_95854385_c5826bca-0605-4d56-a5a8-8ab38b325c25.jpg)

She's a Middleton alright.


(http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Investitures+Buckingham+Palace+fzAzynktFivl.jpg)

She's a Haig. Like her bro.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 02, 2017, 04:05:59 PM
Don't forget, we've got another royal(ish) wedding to look forward to- the holy union of Auntie Orangina herself and the brother of Spencer from off Made In Chelsea and The Bachelor:

When is Pippa Middleton's wedding? All the details and rumours including date, location, the dress and guest list (http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/when-pippa-middleton-wedding-details-9156773)

Quote
While her big sister Kate wowed the world when she wed her prince in Westminster Abbey, Pippa Middleton has opted for much more low-key affair with her banking tycoon fiancé.

The younger sister will marry James Matthews , 41, in May in her local village church.

And she is not afraid of being upstaged by the wedding party, as she has named nephew and niece Prince George and Princess Charlotte as a page boy and flower girl , Kensington Palace have confirmed.

I suspect Pippa "Arse" Middleton is the very last person on Earth who would worry about being upstaged at a wedding.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on May 02, 2017, 06:16:22 PM
(http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Investitures+Buckingham+Palace+fzAzynktFivl.jpg)

His confidence boosted by new medal, Phil Collins attempts to grow his hair back.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on May 03, 2017, 10:51:21 AM
We all need to 'do one'. Not sure what 'one' is, but I will endeavour to do it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4467138/Internet-trolls-post-comments-Princess-Charlotte.html
Quote
'If you don't like the royals just do one and stay quiet!' Overwhelming response after vile internet trolls posted hateful comments about Princess Charlotte's birthday portrait
...
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/02/20/3FDE5D6100000578-4467138-image-a-27_1493752688875.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/02/21/3FDE5E9800000578-4467138-image-m-8_1493755516008.jpg)

Okay, which one of you is Evan?

Quote
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/02/21/3FDEA31400000578-4467138-image-m-6_1493755494787.jpg)

Fashion!!

Quote
Dress your little princess like Charlotte in a cardigan from John Lewis

Can you believe it's been almost two whole years since the world watched the doors of the Lindo Wing in London, waiting for a glimpse of the newborn Princess Charlotte?

But it won't just be the Royal family celebrating her second birthday tomorrow. It's a good excuse for us to go on a shopping spree too!

We can't wait to see what she'll wear when she acts as a bridesmaid for her Aunt Pippa later this month, but until then, check out the adorable yellow cardigan she's wearing in this picture. We love the sheep motif and Fair Isle style of this button down cardigan, which is from none other than John Lewis.

Unfortunately it has now sold out (the Kate effect is a family trait!), but click (right) to buy a sweet pink dress featuring the same design. Nothing says spring quite like little lambs so treat your mini me now.

Alternatively, shop the very cute Charlotte-inspired options in the edit below. We've found everything from chickens to lions at John Lewis, or Boden, Matalan and Marks & Spencer have got some mellow yellow knitwear that will do the trick.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 03, 2017, 10:54:36 AM
shrill and twee...Broken Britain
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 03, 2017, 11:35:18 AM
Okay, which one of you is Evan?

Quote
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/02/21/3FDEA31400000578-4467138-image-m-6_1493755494787.jpg)

Yeah, that was me, sorry. (http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,48186.msg2816230.html#msg2816230)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 04, 2017, 09:37:36 AM
Banter Harry in new bid to stop going as bald as his brother:

EXCLUSIVE: Prince Harry gets special deliveries of hair-loss-fighting omega 3 pills made from CAVIAR (sourced from the Norwegian fjords) (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4466918/Has-Prince-Harry-turned-CAVIAR-pills-cure-baldness.html)

For once the royals are using our money wisely- I would have been happy to fund a lifetime supply of Regaine for Wills if it would have stopped us from ending up with an embarrassingly bald future head of state.

Quote
Prince Harry has often joked about his brother William's receding hairline... Harry once quipped that his older brother was 'already bald aged 12'.

Top bantz Harry, top bantz indeed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on May 04, 2017, 09:51:39 AM
BREAKING NEWS: Prince Phillip is BALD.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on May 04, 2017, 11:35:12 AM
Philip retiring?

From what?

Unveiling plaques and breaking the tedium of it all by seeing how un-PC offensive he can be to some fawning royalist?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Rainbow Man on May 04, 2017, 11:56:12 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/TUNyHF7.png)

"Yeah, isn't the Royal Household great? Why can't we be more like them?" Oh, fuck off.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on May 04, 2017, 03:25:22 PM
I suspect Pippa "Arse" Middleton is the very last person on Earth who would worry about being upstaged at a wedding.

What every happened to Pippa Middleton's Arse? Retired?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on May 04, 2017, 03:37:52 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/TUNyHF7.png)

"Yeah, isn't the Royal Household great? Why can't we be more like them?" Oh, fuck off.

Well, it is Reddit, so it's just a bunch of American wanks going "Ain't those darned Brits funny with their kings and queens?" and thinking it would be a good laugh for America to have that. This is the same demographic that probably thought Trump being elected was a good laugh also because it didn't really affect them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 04, 2017, 05:20:20 PM
*PAGING ATTILA!!!*

(http://i.imgur.com/TUNyHF7.png)

"Yeah, isn't the Royal Household great? Why can't we be more like them?" Oh, fuck off.

That's essentially a bunch of Yanks praising us Brits for our high degree of state secrecy- North Korea and China do it even better, why aren't they so full of praise for Kim Jong-un and his friends?

I suspect Americans meay have a rose-tinted view of our secret services and establishment figures thanks to James Bond. To them it must look like they're a bunch of fine upstanding chaps wearing nice suits and being devoted to stopping swarthy foreign rogues from stealing the crown jewels, rather than a corrupt bunch of fuckers devoted to stopping Yewtree getting any bigger.

Sod Reddit, a royal forum more in line with the average CaBber's level of royalism is http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de (http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de)- and no, I don't know if they got it hosted in Germany to take the piss or not. Start with the Wills'n'Kate forum and then work through its subforums- and remember: Quentin Letts thought we were harsh...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 04, 2017, 05:33:58 PM
What every happened to Pippa Middleton's Arse? Retired?

It's getting married to a millionaire hedge fund manager and his arse, so yes, I guess it's taking early retirement, after one last outing in a really fitted white dress, probably.

The wedding is at the end of this month- and Uncle Legend Gary is invited, hurrah! I hope he drinks too much free champagne and punches someone. Preferably Wills. Or George.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Uncle TechTip on May 04, 2017, 05:46:02 PM
That's not really true anyway, as news of a meeting leaked out pretty quickly and caused much activity at 4am. I'm sure only a handful of elderly people knew the reason for the meeting.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Ambient Sheep on May 05, 2017, 04:27:58 AM
Sod Reddit, a royal forum more in line with the average CaBber's level of royalism is http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de (http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de)- and no, I don't know if they got it hosted in Germany to take the piss or not. Start with the Wills'n'Kate forum and then work through its subforums- and remember: Quentin Letts thought we were harsh...

Jesus... yeah, that forum makes this one look positively fawning!

On the matter of the topless princess shots:

Quote
who wants to see some burnt-crisp flat sunny-sides up on that rank mannish stick insect? Not me.

And that's not the worst thing...


EDIT: Just found their Charles & Savile thread (http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/index.php?topic=5406.0), some interesting stuff in there, esp. about Lord Mountbatten, that I wasn't previously aware of.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 07, 2017, 06:42:03 PM
*PAGING ATTILA!!!*


Been catching up with all the news, after about three weeks' out in the USA...so much to sift through! Balding Bantz, the latest photo of the already middle-aged-looking Spare[1], the agonised breathless wait to find out the news from the Palace.

Was in the supermarket Friday morning, and the rack of repeated full-sized, front page photos of Prince Philip were a terrifying site.

 1. although admittedly she doesn't have that same It's a Good Life expression that her brother has
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 02, 2017, 12:16:46 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/queen-visits-young-victims-of-very-wicked-manchester-attack (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/queen-visits-young-victims-of-very-wicked-manchester-attack)

Quote
The Queen asked 15-year-old Millie Robson, who sustained leg injuries and wore an Ariana Grande T-shirt for the royal visit, whether she had enjoyed the concert before the attack, describing Grande as a “very good singer”.

I'd like to ask her if she'd enjoyed her life thus far as I eased the noose around her neck.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on June 02, 2017, 01:31:14 PM
For a while I believed this thread was the reason this forum was down recently. Keep up the good work
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 02, 2017, 03:43:38 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/queen-visits-young-victims-of-very-wicked-manchester-attack (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/queen-visits-young-victims-of-very-wicked-manchester-attack)

I'd like to ask her if she'd enjoyed her life thus far as I eased the noose around her neck.

'Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?'


Meanwhile, in a BBC article today about a new documentary William and Harry are doing about Diana, this is the photo they chose to illustrate the caption, 'William said he was sad that his mother never met his wife or children.'

(http://i.imgur.com/tHKFSLE.jpg) (http://imgur.com/tHKFSLE)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 02, 2017, 04:29:08 PM
'Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?'

For someone who's only ever job has been to make small talk, how can she be so terrible at it? Lack of a heart, I suspect.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 05, 2017, 12:06:28 PM
THERE IS NO MAGIC MONEY TREE:

Queen in line for £2.8m pay rise in 2017-18 (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jun/28/queen-28m-pay-rise-taxpayer-sovereign-grant?CMP=share_btn_tw)

THERE IS NO MAGIC MONEY TREE.

Found via my new favourite Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/republicanbbc/):

Quote
See, when Old Leather Ass May told that nurse who hadn't had a pay rise in 8 years that there was no magic money tree she forgot to mention that there is always one available for Greedy Betty & the rest of the parasites
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 06, 2017, 11:17:14 AM
I see the thread title's changed. Tendrils, man, tendrils.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 06, 2017, 12:28:52 PM
my new favourite Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/republicanbbc/):

Good tip. From there, I found this:
Quote from: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/royal-diarist-reveals-hid-queen-10562886
Royal diarist reveals he 'hid Queen Mother's racism' because it was "too awful"

...speaking of a time they were in the middle of a lunch, Mr Strong said: "The Queen Mother leant over me and said 'beware the blackamoors'.

"I thought, 'I can't put that down, it's too awful'.

"But one knows she was colour prejudiced."

Roy Strong - a scraping, vainglorious wazzock hoping to further his collection of baubles.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 06, 2017, 12:32:27 PM

The Queen Mother - a scraping, vainglorious wazzock hoping to further her collection of baubles and stolen trinkets from the colonies.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on June 06, 2017, 12:49:38 PM
Are we sure the Blackamoors weren't just their annoying neighbours with the overgrowing Leylandii?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 06, 2017, 01:40:36 PM
I like how he seems to think that swapping the word "racist" for the more flowery but semantically identical "colour prejudiced" makes it less bad.

"Over lunch the queen goosestepped over to me with an outstretched arm and gave me a wink and a hearty slap on the back as she bellowed "Sieg Heil", and I I thought, 'I can't put that down, it's too awful', but one knows she was biased heavily in favour of the internment, expulsion and systematic eradication of all non-Aryan races, and the expansion of Germany into Austria, the Sudetenland and beyond to gain some much needed Lebensraum, the wee rapscallion."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 07, 2017, 01:58:13 PM
Are we sure the Blackamoors weren't just their annoying neighbours with the overgrowing Leylandii?

Lovely couple, lots of fun.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on June 07, 2017, 02:14:23 PM
The QM is conversion of oxygen to muscle energy prejudiced but all the same I hope her presumably entirely rotted remains slide down an unaesthetic Albanian ravine.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 21, 2017, 11:07:07 AM
DUKE OF DEADINBURGH (SOON):

The Duke of Edinburgh was admitted to hospital last night as "a precautionary measure", Buckingham Palace has said. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40355006)

Quote
He is being treated for an infection arising from a pre-existing condition, the palace confirmed.

Probably just a skin infection after his latest moult.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Urinal Cake on June 21, 2017, 11:09:41 AM
Thank God, now the media and the public can talk about the tragedy of an elderly, privileged man who lead a charmed life, dying peacefully with his family and friends instead of this other guff.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on June 21, 2017, 11:26:19 AM
What the fuck is this shit on the news channel?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 21, 2017, 01:12:37 PM
Always thought the news were simply giving the plebs what they thought they wanted but this certainly seems like distraction tactics
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 21, 2017, 10:11:44 PM
A tone deaf interview with HROFL the Prince of Bants - http://www.newsweek.com/2017/06/30/prince-harry-depression-diana-death-why-world-needs-magic-627833.html:

Quote
Prince William’s brother suggested no one in his family really wants to be king or queen, but have vowed to carry out their duty for the "greater good of the people".

Prince Harry – who is dating Suits actress Meghan Markle – said his family "aren’t doing it for ourselves", as he spoke candidly about trying to maintain an ordinary life alongside his Royal duties.

He said to American publication Newsweek: "We are not doing this for ourselves but for the greater good of the people. Is there any one of the royal family who wants to be king or queen? I don’t think so, but we will carry out our duties at the right time."

Describing how hard he tries to maintain a somewhat normal life by doing his own supermarket shopping, the son of Princess Diana said it’s difficult to find the balance in making the Royal family accessible.

He explained: "We don’t want to dilute the magic. The British public and the whole world need institutions like it."

An astonishing exercise in cake having. I don't want to do it, and yeah I guess the money and the palaces and the fame and the power and all are nice to have, but that's not why we do it.

I enjoyed this bit from the
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 22, 2017, 05:15:29 AM
A tone deaf interview with HROFL the Prince of Bants - http://www.newsweek.com/2017/06/30/prince-harry-depression-diana-

I enjoyed this bit from the

And he was never seen again.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on June 22, 2017, 07:37:50 AM
Dilute the magic

Get in grave helicopter murderer
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 22, 2017, 08:24:24 AM
I want to know what bit touchingcloth enjoyed before he was wrestled to the ground by a stealth corgi.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 22, 2017, 08:40:45 AM
I want to know what bit touchingcloth enjoyed before he was wrestled to the ground by a stealth corgi.

I enjoyed this bit from another article on the same interview:

Quote
Harry also explained how his grandmother The Queen lets him and his brother Prince William choose which charitable causes to work with.

Prince Phillip’s wife apparently advises her grandchildren to take their time when it comes to working with key causes.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 22, 2017, 09:01:34 AM
He has a wife, you know...

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 22, 2017, 09:45:31 AM
Is she known for anything?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 22, 2017, 01:05:23 PM
What's the salary of a palace PR?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 23, 2017, 12:21:37 PM
Boo hoo - Doomlord can't go to the zoo
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 17, 2017, 05:56:52 PM
A "news" alert has just appeared on my phone with the headline "George and Charlotte arrive in Poland on "Brexit diplomacy" tour.

That'll go down well, then. "Hey, Europe! You know how you think we're a big load of racist xenophobes voting stupidly against our own best interests, and how further to that you think we're going about the process in a manner that treats both your citizens and politicians with contempt? Well, here are our two richest babies for you to negotiate with."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 17, 2017, 06:11:11 PM
I see Prince George is his usually chirpy cheerful little self.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40627792

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 17, 2017, 07:02:13 PM
I see Prince George is his usually chirpy cheerful little self.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40627792

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/D7E3/production/_96976255_hi040647751.jpg)

This one is captioned: The duke and duchess met veterans at the Rising Museum

Kate is looking hellish old these days.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 17, 2017, 07:03:11 PM
Also, we all know that face don't we (William's). [Trying to look intently interested and failing]
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bleeding Kansas on July 17, 2017, 07:12:24 PM
(https://media.giphy.com/media/za7hVHotLsSdi/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on July 17, 2017, 11:27:07 PM
Saw some news that apparently Eugenie (or whatever she's called) got into Newcastle University because of who she was, not her grades. If that's true I wonder what the fuck her grades were. Not saying Newcastle is a bad university, but she's about my age and at the time you could get in almost anywhere that wasn't Oxbridge as long as you had at least three A levels that weren't all Ds. It was because the fees had just come in and people had stopped applying so universities were gagging to get students.

I wonder if that's also true of Beatrice, who was at Goldsmiths when I was there. I always wondered why the fuck a member of the Royal family was at Goldsmiths. If you're going to use your nobility to get into university surely you'd aim a bit higher. Unless she was planning on jacking in the opening new buildings and doing whatever else it is Royals do and becoming a modern artist, I guess.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 18, 2017, 08:26:30 AM
Loved the pic of William of Nothing captured stooping to attend to his dribbling little shits, displaying the full scorched earth baldness horseshoe to the world. Front page of the papers too.

And to think his family used to excel at magnificent beards, he's missed a trick, as per usual.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 18, 2017, 09:48:03 AM
And to think his family used to excel at magnificent beards, he's missed a trick, as per usual.

His brother puts him to shame in that regard - she's called Megan!!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 20, 2017, 09:22:18 PM
Wills'n'Kate have been busy doing the vital work of twatting about making pretzels with some German bakers:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-40667540/knot-bad-william-and-kate-try-pretzel-making (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-40667540/knot-bad-william-and-kate-try-pretzel-making)

Yes, I did only post this so you could all have a good laugh at how egregiously bald William looks in the video:

(http://i66.tinypic.com/hvbb4m.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 20, 2017, 09:28:41 PM
I see Prince Damien McOmenface is his usually chirpy cheerful little self.

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/07/19/11/427B091700000578-4709824-image-m-132_1500460189403.jpg)

(https://paulwalternewbury.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/image231.jpg)

Wrong salute, Master Saxe-Coburg-Gotha
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 20, 2017, 10:09:29 PM
Yes, I did only post this so you could all have a good laugh at how egregiously bald William looks in the video:

(http://i65.tinypic.com/30jgp6x.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 21, 2017, 04:40:03 AM
Been a busy news week:

Why the royal family dress their children as if it's 1840:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40640634

Lonely pensioner worries about who will look after her dogs when she's gone

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/theroyalfamily/11738382/Queen-stops-breeding-corgis-as-she-doesnt-want-to-leave-any-behind.html


Every news story lately is showing Prince Damien's set of sour-faced photos; according to the apologist tabloids, it's an expression of 'shyness.'
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 22, 2017, 12:25:13 PM
Quote
FREE inside tomorrow’s The Mail on Sunday, get a glorious 12-page picture pullout celebrating adorable Prince George’s 4th Birthday on the Royal European Tour.
A stunning collection of photos showcasing the gorgeous little prince and princess perform their royal tour duties. From George's official royal wave and Charlotte's first curtsey, to the pair's excited faces looking out from the royal jet. The mischievous duo will truly melt your heart.

PLUS, you’ll also be able to get a beautiful commemorative fine china plate celebrating the prince's birthday – for only £10.
Engraved with Prince George’s full title and birthday, plus a gorgeous image of the mischievous little prince, this 8-inch plate with gold plated rim will sit proudly in your home.
Get these two special souvenirs to treasure forever, exclusively with The Mail on Sunday.

You won't want to miss this, lads:

(http://i64.tinypic.com/vrafyv.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on July 22, 2017, 12:46:28 PM
Right I'm not saying that people who want pullout souvenir editions of the Mail on Sunday filled with pictures of Prince Damian and Princess Thingy are paedophiles but...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 22, 2017, 01:12:59 PM
(http://i67.tinypic.com/21nno8w.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 22, 2017, 02:17:06 PM
(http://i67.tinypic.com/21nno8w.png)

I would buy a full 12=place setting with this image [+24 imaginary karma]

I've got a pal back in the US who wants the actual plate.

Myself want to know with what/how the photographer coaxed this expression out of him. Peasant being fed to the dogs?

(http://i.imgur.com/tdhZWbjm.jpg) (http://imgur.com/tdhZWbj)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Butchers Blind on July 22, 2017, 03:50:13 PM
He looks like he's going to grow up to be a right cunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 22, 2017, 04:10:59 PM
Exactly. He's old before his time. That same character as Di's brother. That photo was on nearly every front page. Choreographed to death.

I hope he develops a limp
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on July 22, 2017, 06:00:30 PM
See, it's hard to hate George (and Charlotte) because they're too young to understand their family are cunts and are part of an unfair and completely backwards system that funds their life of privilege at the expense of everyone else.

If they turn 18 though and decide to stick with this royalty shit which they inevitably will then we can decide to plan on the method of execution. Perhaps go French Revolution style with the guillotine or the Bolshevik method of getting them lined up and shot.

In all seriousness, it's a wonder that in the kind of world we live in now, in 2017, where people die in tower blocks because the authorities can't be arsed spending money to protect them, that news readers can still report this nonsense about George's wonderful birthday pic and the like with all smiles and joy. Fuck right off. You have increasing millions and millions to spend on funding these cunts but continue to cut public spending massively?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on July 23, 2017, 01:25:03 PM
I think it's perfectly acceptable to assume and call out George for being a total prick. My word I would hate to be at school with him.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 23, 2017, 01:34:05 PM
My word I would hate to be at school with him.

Yeah, the costs would be crippling.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on July 23, 2017, 01:35:42 PM
Well, obviously I'd be there on a scholarship.

Which would just pick me out for even more abuse from Prince Hitler Youth.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 24, 2017, 12:52:06 AM
Four isn't even a significant birthday, is it? Could the Daily Heil really not have waited one more year to start flogging their commemorative tat? Did they just order a cheap job lot of plates before Brexit pushed up the cost or something?

I do love that phrase "Charlotte's first curtsey". I can imagine it: "Welcome to life as a minor royal and a lifetime of bowing and scraping- get used to it, Princess Spare".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 24, 2017, 01:23:22 PM
Shit crock wank ware for cunts.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on July 25, 2017, 08:48:24 AM
Did anyone see any of that '20 Years of England's Rose Fertiliser'* last night (or whatever it was called)?

I watched about 15minutes before I found the nausea too much.

There WERE parts where I felt (briefly) sorry for her, the hounding off the press was disgusting but then there has to be a market for it and if you ever bought a Woman's Realm or Take A Break then you're partly responsible for her death but there were parts when I thought 'What is this I'm watching?'

Another puff piece for Baldy and Ilegitty.  The latter especially, He told us about some letters he'd found 'recently' which shed a whole new light on what a special person his mother was - don't know how it's taken 20years to find 'em.  She must have some amount of shite in the loft.  Baldy wasn't to be outdone though, he said it was his idea for Lady Di to auction off all the old dressess 'she was tired of' for chartiy.  He said he got the idea 'walking around her cupboard'. 

And they say they've lost touch with reality.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 25, 2017, 10:49:30 PM
At least the story of Lady Di gives us all hope that .. what's her face... That one.... You know, could die in a car accident as well.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 26, 2017, 12:30:14 AM
I don't know whether to be thankful to Diana that she very nearly brought Republican sentiment to a head in this country when the various palaces failed to get their shit together and realise that she was popular with the public or to hide their glee at the fact she had her organs burst apart in a tunnel, or to be resentful that the ensuing PR campaigns from the royals managed to turn public opinion the other way and contribute to the rampant, fawning monarchism we have now, and the fact that she birthed us fucking Wills and Bants and, in the manner of her dying, bequeathed them a shield from close scrutiny in perpetuity. I had a family gathering last year where I mouthed off about the useless dynasty of cunts, and my grandmother's response was "oh, those poor boys, though. The way they walked behind their mother's coffin". That buys Wills a lifetime of work shunning and extravagant fitted kitchens, does it? Fuck off, grandma, I hope a Fiat twunts you to fuck.

In other Di-related news, I watched Chariots of Fire for the first time the weekend just gone, and was mildly surprised, during the opening credits of the film, to see amongst the executive producers one Dodi Fayed. Ironic, because a car's a bit like a chariot, innit?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 26, 2017, 01:19:13 AM
and F/X and Hook too
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on July 26, 2017, 06:11:26 AM
How much longer do we reckon the old bag is going to hang in there? I know every time she so much as farts a crack team of medical experts descend on ropes from a helicopter and administer infant blood, but even at that, you've got to go sometime.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 26, 2017, 07:03:04 AM
Looking forward to the opening of parliament in 25 years where her corpse is attached to strings.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on July 26, 2017, 09:38:45 AM
How much longer do we reckon the old bag is going to hang in there? I know every time she so much as farts a crack team of medical experts descend on ropes from a helicopter and administer infant blood, but even at that, you've got to go sometime.

Said it a million tiems they're immune to death aren't they?

You and me snuff it from cancer, alzheimers, MRSA - you name it but this lot?  They're immortal.  Their only way out is too actively snuff themselves through booze (QM/Maggie) or be snuffed (Lady Di/Lord Mountbatten). 

Charlie Boy gets swept up in an avalanche - does it kill him?  Course not, as the snow sweeps away Major Buxomley Farquar Fortesque (or whatever his name was) old Tampon Charlie is carried aloft by lizard angels and continues his afternoon skiing without a scratch.

Eddie, Andrew, Fergie will outlive us all.

Gawd bless 'em.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 26, 2017, 10:41:20 AM
How much longer do we reckon the old bag is going to hang in there?

One day past Chuck's death.

Speaking of which, we're still not hearing much from the supposed next king, all the while his kids are getting plastered across the news constantly.

Whatever. Getting bored of them all. Do something interesting or fuck off!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 26, 2017, 10:41:57 AM
The latest thing that has caused me to slap at my radio alarm in rage was the news during today's Today, where one of the items was "princess Diana's brother still remembers being sad during her funeral, but not as sad as he imagines her sons must have been". You fucking what. Six hundred grands a year for Humphrys and gang to bring us these juicy morsels.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 26, 2017, 10:52:00 AM
It's on the front page of the BBC News site, basically "family upset at premature death of woman", because nobody else has that happen, right?:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40717424
Quote
"I remember she told me about one man that promised to hound her until the day she died, then would urinate on her grave.

Shoulders, they're on to you!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 26, 2017, 01:31:50 PM
Said it a million times they're immune to death aren't they?

You and me snuff it from cancer, alzheimers, MRSA - you name it but this lot?  They're immortal.  Their only way out is too actively snuff themselves through booze (QM/Maggie) or be snuffed (Lady Di/Lord Mountbatten).

There are rumours that ol' Queeno has Alzheimer's, triggered by reports that she has no memory of Wills'n'Kate's nuptials (http://www.ibtimes.com.au/queen-elizabeth-alzheimers-supporters-react-hearsays-started-camilla-parker-bowles-report-1379543). I think she's just trying to blot out all memories of the day when one of her descendents married a commoner, or she just pretends she can't remember so she can upset Kate and then laugh about it behind her back...

...but yeah, you'd think all that inbreeding would make them more prone to disease, not less- unless you count going very bald and having no chin as diseases.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 27, 2017, 07:00:14 AM
Quote
The earl said he believes Princess Diana would have been proud of his speech, which he re-read to her body a couple of days before she was buried.

"I know people will think that I am some sort of fruitcake, but I do remember hearing almost some sort of approval then and then I realised then I probably had got some of the thoughts in order."

Then he put some trunks on and just..lay on the grass. Whether he wanted an apple or not would be a side issue.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 30, 2017, 07:32:49 PM
"William and Kate remember WW1 battle"


Pretty impressive considering they weren't even alive.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 31, 2017, 02:39:30 PM
Here's Kate's choice of outfit for commemorating the slaughter of over 500,000 people:

(http://i.imgur.com/l1eO4mO.jpg)

Sombre, that. Respectful like.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bazooka on July 31, 2017, 03:27:11 PM
Theresa May looks like a posh Whitewalker from GoT.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 31, 2017, 03:51:42 PM
Here's Kate's choice of outfit for commemorating the slaughter of over 500,000 people:

(http://i.imgur.com/l1eO4mO.jpg)

Sombre, that. Respectful like.

Baffling how many newspaper front pages where there's a headline story about the commemoration feature as the image of the day a picture of or a close up of her.  Was she personally involved somehow?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 31, 2017, 04:40:04 PM
William's de facto pose there. Looking up at the heavens.

"Mutti, Mutti? bist du da?"

(http://bsmedia.business-standard.com/_media/bs/img/photo-gallery/general/duchess-of-cambridge-kate-middleton-showed-she-can-pack-a-real-punch-at-olympic-park/full/britain-s-prince-william-left-and-kate-the-duke-and-duchess-of-cambridge-and-prince-harry-look-up-as-they-arrive-to-attend-the-launch-of-heads-together-their-ambitious-new-campaign-to-end-stigma-on-14634795061639.jpg)

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrZ0HzPwGTj1D9yLUV99jOe68tbAw3a7auRekv6BlDRHlgHGWC)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/04/22/article-0-1376BF57000005DC-17_634x392.jpg)

(https://media3.popsugar-assets.com/files/2014/01/03/953/n/1922398/2001c8c2ae5dd1fc_prince-harry-kate-middleton-prince-wiliam-looking-up-gif.gif)

(http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/prince-william-looking-up-to-catch-a-football-he-has-kicked-into-the-picture-id52119650?s=612x612)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on July 31, 2017, 04:49:28 PM
Kate going a bit 'Davros' in the first pic.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 31, 2017, 05:38:17 PM
Big Al says princes can't look down, unless it's in a figurative sense, of course.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 31, 2017, 05:40:50 PM
(http://bsmedia.business-standard.com/_media/bs/img/photo-gallery/general/duchess-of-cambridge-kate-middleton-showed-she-can-pack-a-real-punch-at-olympic-park/full/britain-s-prince-william-left-and-kate-the-duke-and-duchess-of-cambridge-and-prince-harry-look-up-as-they-arrive-to-attend-the-launch-of-heads-together-their-ambitious-new-campaign-to-end-stigma-on-14634795061639.jpg)

Banter Harry weighing up the pros and cons of going in for a "Banter Harry Tit Grab Super Special Bants Bant Harry Banty Bants", there.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 31, 2017, 06:27:47 PM
Some nasty Bigfoot feet in the last photo too
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 31, 2017, 06:51:33 PM
Is it Wills? Doesn't look bald enough.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Zetetic on July 31, 2017, 07:43:16 PM
the Rising Museum
I didn't think I'd see you indulging this nonsense.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 31, 2017, 08:50:48 PM
I didn't think I'd see you indulging this nonsense.

???
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Zetetic on July 31, 2017, 08:58:17 PM
The weird attempt to push 'Rising' instead of 'Uprising'. I still haven't managed to work out why this has come about.

Possibly something to do with a translator over-familiar with use 50 odd years ago. Or simply one working from a dictionary, maybe.

(Apologies, I've been reminded of how bad that Museum's output is by another thread and it's wound me up again.)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 31, 2017, 11:45:30 PM
There's still so much time for them all to die in a private ferry disaster.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 01, 2017, 12:58:08 AM
The weird attempt to push 'Rising' instead of 'Uprising'. I still haven't managed to work out why this has come about.

Possibly something to do with a translator over-familiar with use 50 odd years ago. Or simply one working from a dictionary, maybe.

(Apologies, I've been reminded of how bad that Museum's output is by another thread and it's wound me up again.)

no idea...rising damp?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Urinal Cake on August 02, 2017, 12:20:19 AM
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/08/queen-elizabeth-four-cocktails-a-day

Apparently Harry gets his bantz from the Queen who has four alcoholic drinks a day. 'Oh but atleast she isn't binge drinking' Motherfucker. Who else gets to drink during the day except the unemployed?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on August 02, 2017, 12:06:47 PM
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/08/queen-elizabeth-four-cocktails-a-day

Apparently Harry gets his bantz from the Queen who has four alcoholic drinks a day. 'Oh but atleast she isn't binge drinking' Motherfucker. Who else gets to drink during the day except the unemployed?

I think I've said on here before about how people always say the Queen has a 'wicked' sense of humour.  I bet she's just wicked.  A bitter and twisted 'owd witch who can't see anyone being happy without wanting to bring them down.

Like Bernard Manning but with better fork etiquette.

I had the misfortune to catch a bit of First Dates last night and this girl was saying how she'd chatted up Prince Bantz in a pub in Reading.  He'd told her that he was a lookalike.  Imagine that.  What a sense of humour!

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 02, 2017, 02:14:07 PM
I make sure to GET IN PINT on a lunchtime so these tax funded pissheads aren't totally "royaling" it over us.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: SpiderChrist on August 02, 2017, 02:47:52 PM
Bastards are toying with us now.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/aug/02/daily-telegraph-wrongly-announces-duke-of-edinburgh-death
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on August 03, 2017, 08:33:52 AM
Here's Kate's choice of outfit for commemorating the slaughter of over 500,000 people:

(http://i.imgur.com/l1eO4mO.jpg)

Sombre, that. Respectful like.

Sombre and respectful, just like the outfit she wore while laying flowers at the 9/11 memorial:

(http://a.abcnews.com/images/Entertainment/GTY_william_kate_911_kab_141209_16x9_992.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on August 03, 2017, 08:37:23 AM
I had the misfortune to catch a bit of First Dates last night and this girl was saying how she'd chatted up Prince Bantz in a pub in Reading.  He'd told her that he was a lookalike.  Imagine that.  What a sense of humour!

Someone on the even worse/better First Dates Hotel claimed to have once shared a dad-dance with Prince William. Her date asked how he compared, adding "well, at least I'm not as bald as him". I have since been wondering which one of you lot that was.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on August 03, 2017, 09:13:31 AM
Looking at Prince Bantz in those pics is hilarious isn't it?  You can practically draw a straight line through Phil, Charlie Boy, Eddie, Randy Andy*, shy Anne and Wills but Bantz sticks out like a sore thumb what with his different face and hair.

These poeople are meant to be our 'leaders', our 'betters' and show us how we should live.  None of 'em can keep their pants on, hold down a job or keep a marriage together.

I was thinking about Queenie last night too.  How old is she? 86?  That's 4,000 in lizard years by the way but she's been in front of a microphone since she was a land girl (my fucking arse) and yet she still speaks with that dull monotone that totally belies her 'wicked sense of humour'.  I'm not saying she should be calling people 'babe' and saying 'nuffink' and 'everythink' but by Christ love.  Was it The Jerk where Steve Martin couldn't control the pitch or volume of his voice?  She's that.

*What's the deal with Andy.  What's this rumour we're not allowed to talk about.

Is it devient, unholy, avaricious or that he once took some change he found in the coin return slot of a snack machine?

I think we should be told.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Urinal Cake on August 03, 2017, 09:20:32 AM
The BBC should've cast Megan 'Suits' Markle as the new Doctor.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on August 03, 2017, 09:40:47 AM
...she's been in front of a microphone since she was a land girl (my fucking arse) and yet she still speaks with that dull monotone that totally belies her 'wicked sense of humour'.  I'm not saying she should be calling people 'babe' and saying 'nuffink' and 'everythink' but by Christ love.  Was it The Jerk where Steve Martin couldn't control the pitch or volume of his voice?  She's that.

Imagine her as a DJ on an informal talk radio show.

"Coming up next, one will be talking with a Mr Jerry Wishbone from Exeter, whom has experienced an amusing incident in with some ducks, as well as relaying what he does. But first I present the White Stripes and their song Seven Nation Army... one does enjoy armies, look very pleasant in one's courtyard... the time is 2pm and 6 minutes..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on August 03, 2017, 11:14:46 AM
Plus see that obit for Prince Stavros?  'There will be a full Royal funeral for the cunt in line with his wishes...'

Full bhoona?  Cheeky fucking bastard.  In times of austerity even in death these cunts want to empty our pockets.  Most people I know are like 'keep it plain', 'nothing grand' or just 'chuck us in the Irwell' but this Queen Mother fucker wants a big fucking parade.

Mind you he's missed a trick.  He could have asked to have been cremated and cost us a packet on the gas bill.

Fuck 'em all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on August 03, 2017, 12:44:07 PM
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/320/cpsprodpb/11703/production/_97172417_eex03p001-1st.jpg)

Fuuuuuck off!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 03, 2017, 01:00:32 PM
Thanks for being a disgraceful human being, racist predatory paedophile. Here's a state funeral.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 03, 2017, 02:57:30 PM
10p! Italian Matchmaker! Souvenir Edition!

All our Christmases have come at once
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on August 07, 2017, 03:09:18 PM
Anyone see that Yo-Yo-Knickers Of Our Hearts thing last night?

Jesus Christ talk about 10minutes worth of programme stretched over an hours worth of Toyota adverts.

Yes we know Charles was knocking the back out of Camilla and here was the proof that Lady Di knew it too!  Some mumblings over screaching violins, some pan pipes and some erie chords on the old joanna but mainly it was balls.

That prick who used to be her security guard popped up.  You knew he would though he's never off the fuckin' telly talking about how he wishes he'd have been there.  Yeah, mate so do we.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Glebe on August 07, 2017, 03:10:17 PM
Shouldn't that be 'But please carry on being a racist?'
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on August 07, 2017, 04:16:27 PM
Seen a lot of stuff about Princess Diana lately. Shocked to learn that a) she's dead and b) her sons are sad that she is dead.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 07, 2017, 08:10:50 PM
Seen a lot of stuff about Princess Diana lately. Shocked to learn that a) she's dead and b) her sons are sad that she is dead.
and the tabloids are sad she is dead...so many lurid stories... so many shocking scandals... so many vivid headlines....dead because of ...errr...tabloids
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on August 21, 2017, 01:05:59 PM
Apparently when yer lass Megan arrives in the UK to see Harry, he's managed to arrange things so that he can drive his car onto the runway and pick her up straight off the plane:

Quote
"Harry has a police escort on the tarmac in his black Audi RS6. He is accompanied by a bodyguard, with a people carrier following behind,” the mole continued.

“Meghan usually only carries hand luggage. If she does check a suitcase into the hold it is put on last so it can be located as quickly as possible,” they added.

“All the necessary security checks must be carried out in advance or on board because she walks straight from the plane steps to Harry’s car,” the source said.

It's OK, though - apparently the Dauphin of Bants only does things this way to save wasting taxpayer money:

Quote
According to the Express’ report, Harry has taken the measures to pick up Meghan himself in order to avoid racking up £3,000 bills for use of the Windsor suite.

Everyone wins!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/prince-harry-pulling-strings-can-11021256
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on August 22, 2017, 05:56:36 AM
Rid. Now.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 26, 2017, 02:36:33 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-41050654

Puke making bleak shit
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 26, 2017, 02:54:38 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-41050654

Puke making bleak shit

The two framed Burrell photos are the pits. I wonder if I can find a museum to show off my "trinkets" too (i.e. scanned copies of Billie Piper and some press clippings).

What spurred her to become so obsessed I wonder?

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/147BF/production/_97530938_mediaitem97530937.jpg)

gulp!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 26, 2017, 02:57:13 PM
That man who collected all those beer cans is a far superior human being and he is a grim pathetic joyless wanker
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on August 31, 2017, 07:10:01 PM
Mrs Alberon is currently working in one of those cafe/shops a lot of churches have now in the absence of actual worshippers. While helping out the other week I found this plastic storage box. Turns out it is a disaster pack for the death of a major royal with procedures for condolence books, reprinting the national anthem lyrics with the new wording (if it's the CoD herself whose died) and the like.

I don't know if it's a generic set of instructions or the local vicar and the church committee sat down and brainstormed it all up.

I like to think they've got the nod from the palace to get ready as a royal is about to croak imminently.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on August 31, 2017, 11:47:45 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-41050654

Puke making bleak shit

Quote
A Diana super-fan who has amassed memorabilia dedicated to the late Princess of Wales has lent some of her collection to a special exhibition.

She should have lent it to a special great big bonfire. Give it to the eleventh night lads.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Enzo on September 01, 2017, 04:37:15 AM
Some lovely unfounded gossip from Popbitch

Quote
Diana was, by most accounts, quite a needy girlfriend. After the initial excitement of hanging out with the Princess wore off, Will Carling found her constant attention quite grating.

One night she kept booty calling him, but he was trying to put her off as he had friends over. In the end he got tired of the calls and, egged on by his buddies, he told her she could only come round if she "shaved her growler for him".

Thinking that would be the end of it, Carling went back to his evening. The phone rang again.

"I've done it. Now can I come round?"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on September 01, 2017, 10:58:16 AM
I initially misread 'shaved' as 'shared' there. Would have been a much better bit of goss.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on September 01, 2017, 03:09:48 PM
I wonder if I'll still be alive the next time Diana's dead?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: spock rogers on September 04, 2017, 09:41:14 AM
Look at the state of this. A drama about how the ordinary lives of the plebs were affected by the death of Saint Di.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b094f4z2
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 04, 2017, 10:39:36 AM
There's another bundle of gametes preparing to allow us to hate it. I'd like to be the first to wish it a safe and healthy withering on the vine.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 04, 2017, 10:53:57 AM
OH JOY.

They've already got the heir and the spare, how many more spares do they need? Is there something seriously wrong with Prince Damien McOmenface, in addition to his demonic possession?

A spare of a spare... this one will grow up to be even more pointless than Prince Edward.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 04, 2017, 10:55:37 AM
Funny this announcement came along the day after Mr Attila and I watched The Thing: The Pointless Prequel.

If it's a boy, does that mean Damien will be a doting older brother, or will he take every available opportunity to wish new banter babby:TNG into the cornfield?

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 04, 2017, 11:03:07 AM
Kate hasn't really got hyperemesis gravidarum, she has a case of projectile vomiting that could be remedied if she called an exorcist.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 04, 2017, 11:06:57 AM
Kate hasn't really got hyperemesis gravidarum, she has a case of projectile vomiting that could be remedied if she called an exorcist.

(http://i.imgur.com/NnL4BnCl.jpg) (https://imgur.com/NnL4BnC)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 04, 2017, 12:51:47 PM
I hope the new parasite spits its dummy out and it lands in dogshit and the hipster Norland nanny doesn't notice and places the shitty pacifier back in its swan-lined maw.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 04, 2017, 01:01:52 PM
Here (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/can-we-finally-tell-the-t_b_299297.html)'s a good summary of all the reasons why the Cunt of Death Mother was an awful excuse for a human being, and single handedly managed to embody all of the problems with hereditary monarchy.

Quote
She presented this spending — enough to open and run a new hospital that would save thousands of lives every year — as an act of selfless patriotism. Michael Mann, the former Dean of Windsor who knew her very well, explained: “She feels that Britain is Great Britain and that, therefore, ours must be no banana court. To lower standards [i.e., her spending on champagne, caviar and limos] is to denigrate the country and, insofar as high standards require big spending, so be it.”
...
In her spare time, she supported far right politics. She was a passionate defender of appeasing Adolf Hitler, lobbying behind the scenes to garner support for Neville Chamberlain. The reasons are plain: even fifty years later, she bragged to Woodrow Wyatt that she had “reservations about Jews.”

Careful, though: for one thing it's from the Huffington Post, and for another it's by fucking Johann Hari.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 04, 2017, 01:04:17 PM
Look at the state of this. A drama about how the ordinary lives of the plebs were affected by the death of Saint Di.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b094f4z2

That should be banned. Odious.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 04, 2017, 01:06:25 PM
Here (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/can-we-finally-tell-the-t_b_299297.html)'s a good summary of all the reasons why the Cunt of Death Mother was an awful excuse for a human being, and single handedly managed to embody all of the problems with hereditary monarchy.

Careful, though: for one thing it's from the Huffington Post, and for another it's by fucking Johann Hari.

a third thing, its undoubtedly true.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 04, 2017, 01:16:33 PM
a third thing, its undoubtedly true.

Yes. Tricky, isn't it, when you can't bring yourself to hate something you know full well you should?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on September 05, 2017, 11:43:03 AM
Kate hasn't really got hyperemesis gravidarum, she has a case of projectile vomiting that could be remedied if she called an exorcist.

Get off her back.  How would you feel if you had a lizard growing inside you like that thing off V (again)?

Nae wunner she's puking her spleen up.

Fair play to her though, she loves a bit of lizard boaby does our Kate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 05, 2017, 11:58:50 AM
I understand that hyperemesis gravidarum is far, far worse than normal morning sickness, and causes vomiting and powerful nausea that persists for months on end and must be an awful thing for any human being to be affected by. I do understand all that, but I also think: good, it's quite literally the least she could endure. I hope she gets it carries on after the birth, and forever.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 05, 2017, 12:26:31 PM
We could get her an exorcist, but on second thoughts it would be cheaper to just dropkick Prince George over a hedge, that might bring her a little relief.

Poor Kate- this one's obviously another Damien McOmenface.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on September 05, 2017, 01:08:54 PM
Not surprised at all that she's got Sickius Veribaddius Theworsisous Itcanbeus.  She's Royal for Fergie's sake!  She can't just feel a bit off, not feel like waving at things or peering at stuff through a lacey hat.

She has to have the worst thing it is possible to have to garner sympathy from the plebs.

The real Royals, the true ones are never ill, these incomers are their vessels for sypmathy.

You know what.  I am fully behind David Icke now.  100 percent lizards the fucking lot of 'em.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 05, 2017, 02:16:26 PM
If Banter Harry ever knocks up Syoots Actor Meghan Markle she'll be fine, no demonic royal genes in the Markle and Hewitt bloodlines.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 05, 2017, 02:22:13 PM
We could get her an exorcist, but on second thoughts it would be cheaper to just dropkick Prince George over a hedge, that might bring her a little relief.

Poor Kate- this one's obviously another Damien McOmenface.

I bet the little snot is continually bothering Kate as she suffers with sickness. "Mummy, pay attention to me" "Mummy, you simply must entertain me" "Mummy why are you sleeping/shitting/vomiting, it's time to feed me"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 05, 2017, 02:30:20 PM
Nah, he'll be bothering Nanny Shithat, not Kate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 05, 2017, 02:31:45 PM
Nah, he'll be bothering Nanny Shithat, not Kate.

Nanny shithat is dead
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on September 05, 2017, 02:54:04 PM
Just burn that portrait of her they keep in the attic.

(http://cdn.ruvr.ru/2013/01/12/1335189958/bbbbdd.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 05, 2017, 03:55:14 PM
Do the eyes follow you round the room or do they just stare straight into your soul?

As I've said before, it's a real shame that the only royal portrait in which the subject looks vaguely warm and cheery and human was painted by a convicted nonce.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 05, 2017, 04:23:18 PM
French edition of Closer magazine ordered to pay €50,000 per Duchess nork:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4854052/Magazine-ordered-pay-100-000-euros-Kate-pictures.html

Quote
French celebrity magazine Closer has been ordered to pay 103,000 euros (£92,000) in damages to the Duke andDuchess of Cambridge for publishing topless photos of Kate Middleton.

While the amount is one of the highest ever in a privacy case in France, it is a fraction of the £1.4million the couple wanted over the grainy images, taken while they were on holiday in Provence in September 2012.

Greedy bastards.

Quote
The Palace declined to reveal what the couple intend to do with the damages they have been awarded.

Greedy bastards.


Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on September 05, 2017, 06:28:19 PM
That's 25,000 euros per tit, maths fans!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 05, 2017, 08:23:40 PM
If Banter Harry ever knocks up Syoots Actor Meghan Markle she'll be fine, no demonic royal genes in the Markle and Hewitt bloodlines.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-41162948

 
Quote from: BBC
The star of US drama Syoots told Vanity Fair the pair are enjoying "special" time together.

Quote from: Megan 'Syoots' Markle

 I haven't even read press for Syoots. The people who are close to me anchor me in knowing who I am. The rest is noise.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 05, 2017, 08:26:02 PM
Glad the toss rag had to pay up but the damages should have been awarded to charity
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 05, 2017, 09:45:42 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-41162948

I'm loving the comments under the Daily Mail's article on Banter 4 Syoots:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4853642/Meghan-Markle-confirms-romance-Harry-time.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4853642/Meghan-Markle-confirms-romance-Harry-time.html)

Just a few hundred different ways of saying "No, I'm not a racist, I just hate her because... because... because... JUST FECK OFF!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 05, 2017, 10:47:53 PM
I can't say I'm not enjoying the coinage, but why are we going with "syoots"?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Urinal Cake on September 05, 2017, 11:31:54 PM
Just a few hundred different ways of saying "No, I'm not a racist, I just hate her because... because... because... JUST FECK OFF!"
'American' and an 'actress'. Makes you almost feel sorry for Suits Markle and Banter Harry.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 06, 2017, 05:10:25 AM
I can't say I'm not enjoying the coinage, but why are we going with "syoots"?

It's the closest approximation to how The Windsors version of MM pronounces it, that lovely, tight-jawed silibant.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 06, 2017, 05:59:10 AM
The way Morgana Robinson as Puhppah Pippa says it is also amusing. It is a bit harsh though, making fun of her for actually having a job...

A few of the comments on that Daily Mail article call her "a D-list actress"  and "someone we would never have heard of if it wasn't for Harry". As opposed to Kate, who had an illustrious career in... er...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 06, 2017, 07:53:06 AM
The way Morgana Robinson as Puhppah Pippa says it is also amusing. It is a bit harsh though, making fun of her for actually having a job...

A few of the comments on that Daily Mail article call her "a D-list actress"  and "someone we would never have heard of if it wasn't for Harry". As opposed to Kate, who had an illustrious career in... er...

Point 1 -- You could use Puppah's pronuciation as a diamond-cutter.

Point 2-- assistant party planner? Come to think of it, The Windsors Kate has loads more marketable skills and ability to cope with living outside the palace (DJ, second-hand tyre appraiser and re-seller, &c)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 06, 2017, 01:49:51 PM
I've lost faith in the Royal Gossip forum. I know they disapprove of Kate, calling her a "lazy airhead" and bemoaning her lack of a job, interests and passions, but they also disapprove of Meghan despite her being everything Kate isn't. When one poster pointed out this hypocrisy a moderator warned them that criticising others' opinions is against the rules (no room for debate then, or opinions that go against RG concensus? Wow...) and locked the thread, announcing that discussion of Banter 4 Syoots is now only allowed in the top secret Members' Only forum that Quentin Letts can't access (or register for).

I hate to accuse women of jealousy, but when their Banter Harry forum is subtitled "Harrylicious news and chat about hot ginger" I have to wonder.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 06, 2017, 02:01:03 PM

when their Banter Harry forum is subtitled "Harrylicious news and chat about hot ginger" I have to wonder.

Right, there goes my will to live.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2017, 02:35:01 PM
My partner, who is a staunch republican, insisted we watch that "Me And Diana" drama on iPlayer last night because, she insisted, her love of and qualification in anthropology means that she is fascinated by mass hysteria, and wanted to watch how the reactions of plebs was portrayed on screen.

Fortunately we only got about five minutes in before she announced "this is balls!" and let me shut it down. It truly was, though - a lickle girl sitting down next to her weeping mother in front of the telly and asking "is pwincess Diana dead mummy?" before the clunkiest, most heavy handed interaction imaginable between the mother and her husband: "I'm going away on business now. Why are you crying? Is it because of 'princess' Di? Well, she got what was coming to her - none of this would have happened if she had stayed at home and obeyed her husband. I need more roti for the drive - GIVE ME ROTI!"

Avoid.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 06, 2017, 02:54:59 PM
The main reason I watched the funeral stuff (I was in the US at the time) was because I'd just finished my degree in medieval history, and a lot of background stuff in my dissertation was related to medieval adventus and processions -- it was fascinating from that perspective to see what it must have been like in the Middle Ages. You read about people packing in along the route, weeping, cheering, throwing flowers, whatever, depending on whether it was a royal arrival (into town with the entourage like locusts literally to eat everything in the town and surrounding areas, leaving it devastated for the locals), or a funeral procession.

I remember telling my ex to check it out, because it was perhaps one of the few opportunities in modern times to see a medieval style procession.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on September 06, 2017, 03:06:56 PM
I've lost faith in the Royal Gossip forum. I know they disapprove of Kate, calling her a "lazy airhead" and bemoaning her lack of a job, interests and passions, but they also disapprove of Meghan despite her being everything Kate isn't. When one poster pointed out this hypocrisy a moderator warned them that criticising others' opinions is against the rules (no room for debate then, or opinions that go against RG concensus? Wow...) and locked the thread, announcing that discussion of Banter 4 Syoots is now only allowed in the top secret Members' Only forum that Quentin Letts can't access (or register for).

I hate to accuse women of jealousy, but when their Banter Harry forum is subtitled "Harrylicious news and chat about hot ginger" I have to wonder.

That forum is fantastic. Favourite thread title:

Kate And The Age She Appears II

Forum user India comments
Quote
She really does look like she's embalmed. An embalmed tranny.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on September 06, 2017, 03:08:43 PM
The public reaction to it all is quite interesting from an anthropological point of view, but that drama wasn't the vehicle for exploring that kind of thing, and seemed like it was going to be much more of your typical veneration of lady landmine and a reminder of how very sad it was when she crashed to death.

The footage of the streets of London lined with people chucking flowers at her hearse would make fantastic fodder for someone like Adam Curtis as part of, for example, a programme about how dictators go about tricking their populaces into using their emotions for rather than against them, but by christ I can think of few things worse than watching extended amounts of it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 06, 2017, 10:09:46 PM
That forum is fantastic. Favourite thread title:

Kate And The Age She Appears II

There is one thread which contains a deadly serious discussion of the possibility that Kate was born a man...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 07, 2017, 07:43:25 AM
There is one thread which contains a deadly serious discussion of the possibility that Kate was born a man...

I love those threads on RG; they're also convinced she's actually in her 50s, and that she doesn't actually get morning sickness, it's to give her an excuse to get out of the public eye and get kitted up since a surrogate actually has the baby.

Anyway, of course the big story this morning is whether or not she can accompany Anthony1 to first day of school or not.

1 http://ciscohouston.com/docs/docs/greats/its_a_good_life.html
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on September 07, 2017, 09:36:01 AM
I enjoy the fact that they keep complaining about how 'entitled' William and Harry are.

edit: I just can't work out if they like the Royal family or not. My current best guess is they like the principle of royalty, but think the current lot are shit? But then there are threads where they complain about how lazy they all are and how they shouldn't be getting so much public money.

A confused and angry crowd, all told. Great fun.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 07, 2017, 10:00:42 AM
?! Amongst the rules at Damien's new school:

Quote from: new school
Finally – although not an explicit rule – there school is said to discourage pupils from having best friends, in order to stop others from having their feelings hurt. This might well come in handy for Prince George, who might prove to be rather popular once he starts.

http://www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/family-relationships/these-are-the-rules-at-prince-george%e2%80%99s-new-school-thomas%e2%80%99s-battersea/ar-AArnYig?li=AAnZ9Ug&ocid=UE12DHP

And here's the headmistress giving the lil prince a curtsey on his arrival at school

(http://i.imgur.com/WU0ibXOh.jpg) (https://imgur.com/WU0ibXO)

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 07, 2017, 10:31:57 AM
Let's go and meet the gang at Palace Hiiiiiiill... (https://youtu.be/Vq9UoMj6l0U?t=177)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 07, 2017, 07:26:35 PM
Somewhere out there is the  mother of a 3 or 4 year old girl, plotting and planning how to snare her daughter the title of Princess Damien.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 07, 2017, 07:51:18 PM
^two different uniforms on his first day?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 07, 2017, 08:00:10 PM
Somewhere out there is the  mother of a 3 or 4 year old girl, plotting and planning how to snare her daughter the title of Princess Damien.

I hope he ends up marrying a Princess Carrie...

And here's the headmistress giving the lil prince a curtsey on his arrival at school

Oh FFS... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssL37Wanq5Q)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 07, 2017, 08:20:57 PM


Oh FFS... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssL37Wanq5Q)

Yup -- Anglophile pal in the States sent me a video of Damien arriving at school in an email full of squees....she works as a nanny, and took her youngest charge to his first day of school yesterday, so I had a schlocky email comparing the two. I love her to bits, but she's got a wee bit of a blind spot there. (She's already asked me for Option #3 commemorative mug)

My new kitten just did a gleeful lap around the house, shooting shit out of his arse (because he hasn't got enough sense to stop playing for the 30 seconds it takes to visit the littertray) -- pretty much my reaction to the gushing news stories about adorable school unis and that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Absorb the anus burn on September 07, 2017, 11:48:29 PM

And here's the headmistress giving the lil prince a curtsey on his arrival at school

(https://s26.postimg.org/gkl0s3g15/WU0ib_XOh.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 13, 2017, 08:37:28 PM
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-41253491 (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-41253491)

(https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/c9953d5e27a0afc62b274c6c61be3b98313844a4/0_134_3000_1800/master/3000.jpg?w=620&q=20&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&dpr=2&s=ef92b5c65b36e3f71c7b48dd2bb47260)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: LORD BAD VIBE on September 14, 2017, 08:49:43 AM
I've heard the stalker bears a remarkable resemblance to the late Patrick Troughton.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 14, 2017, 10:10:50 AM
Uncle Legend Gary has been nicked for smacking the missus about after she took objection to him going on a week-long cocaine bender:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4979252/Kate-Middleton-s-uncle-Gary-Goldsmith-charged-assault.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4979252/Kate-Middleton-s-uncle-Gary-Goldsmith-charged-assault.html)

What a lovely chap this Legitimate Businessman is.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 14, 2017, 12:15:48 PM
Also, how did I miss the announcement of StayPuft Middleton's new business venture?

Duchess of Cambridge's brother James tries his hand at printing wrapping paper after marshmallow business fails (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4913986/Duchess-Cambridge-s-younger-brother-goes-printing.html)

Quote
He tried to make money out of putting people’s faces on cakes and then marshmallows – without great success.
Undaunted, James Middleton has another business plan – printing faces on to wrapping paper

The younger brother of the Duchess of Cambridge calls the idea Wrip Wrap and is publicising it on social media. ‘He has all these state-of-the-art printers and needs to find a use for them,’

James, 30, closed Nice Cakes, then marshmallow business Boomf lost £2.2 million, despite investment from sister Pippa’s banker husband James Matthews.

Fuck's sake Wills, how did you manage to marry into a family almost as ghastly and pointless as your own?

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/09/24/01/44A1922000000578-0-image-a-6_1506213615764.jpg)

Don't worry, James- you've got one customer right here, as long as she can KEEP WRAPPING:

(https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/fgEJnB7m2pkcqPSS1y4.Hg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NjMw/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2014-12-11/b1ef72e0-813f-11e4-a417-49a5491f289d_Kate-Middleton-eye-roll.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 15, 2017, 09:28:46 AM
How did The Windsors miss a trick pairing up James Middleton with Prince Edward?

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 15, 2017, 09:50:37 AM
How did The Windsors miss a trick pairing up James Middleton with Prince Edward?

...or pairing up Uncle Legend Gary with Harry or Philip?

They could cast Keith Allen as Uncle Legend Gary. It would be perfect casting in more ways than one.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 15, 2017, 11:18:03 AM
"Leave it aaaaaaht", says Uncle Ledge's mother-in-law (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4979252/Kate-Middleton-s-uncle-Gary-Goldsmith-charged-assault.html)

Well, this is intriguing:

Quote
The mother of Gary Goldsmith's wife has slammed Kate Middleton's 'gangster' uncle for allegedly punching her daughter during a late-night row in the street.

Naturally the Mail aren't accepting comments on this, but that's the first time I've seen anyone come straight out and call him a gangster, even if it is in inverted commas. I thought the only people who were allowed to know the true source of the Middleton millions were the ones who sealed that information into the vaults at GCHQ.

Over on Royal Gossip I notice that the Uncle Legend Gary thread seems to have gone to the impossible-to-register-for Top Secret Members Only board, along with all discussion on Banter Harry's relationship with Syoots. Tendrils.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on October 18, 2017, 02:15:52 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-41666690
Quote
A "family heirloom" has been lost after its aristocrat owner wore the emerald and diamond pendant on a shopping trip to a Morrisons supermarket.

Lady Somerleyton returned from buying groceries at the store in Pakefield near her Somerleyton Estate home in Suffolk on 9 October when she noticed the Art Deco style jewellery was gone.

I can think of better places to glam it up.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 20, 2017, 02:41:48 PM
Wills'nKate'n'Bants still busy with vital work:

(https://i.ndtvimg.com/i/2017-10/kate-middleton-paddington-dance-650-afp_650x400_71508249094.jpg)

(http://img.usmagazine.com/480-width/kate-middleton-prince-william-prince-harry-paddington-bear-7c58df50-4654-446c-a1b3-57076e1db32a.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on October 20, 2017, 03:20:26 PM
Most disappointing Timothy Treadwell death recreation ever.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 20, 2017, 03:28:27 PM
In that second photo it looks like Paddington Bear is "tee-hee!"-ing at Wills'n'Kate as they both stand there dying for a piss.

Actually, Kate is preggers, so she probably was dying for a piss. Dunno what Wills' excuse was.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on October 20, 2017, 04:32:40 PM
(http://img.usmagazine.com/480-width/kate-middleton-prince-william-prince-harry-paddington-bear-7c58df50-4654-446c-a1b3-57076e1db32a.jpg)

Banter Harry looks like he's spotted a girl and has went into Legend Harry mode: "Phowar, she's a ride. I'll keep it under wraps and have Meghan and a bit of her on the side. The Army Air boys will love hearing about this, it'll be banter to the max!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 20, 2017, 06:07:02 PM
Horrible forced grimaces.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 20, 2017, 06:07:42 PM
That Paddington is a cunt. I met him after this event and he claims to have grabbed Kate by the possy.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 20, 2017, 07:01:29 PM
Shameless fraternising. If there is any justice in this world Paddington will be gassed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bleeding Kansas on October 21, 2017, 09:50:44 PM
That Paddington is a cunt. I met him after this event and he claims to have grabbed Kate by the possy.

Said he wanted a lick of her marmalade sandwich. He's such a lad.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on October 27, 2017, 10:41:13 AM
It's good to see that in these days of austerity we're still prepared to spend millions on squirts of Royal Spunk.

Gawd bless 'em each an' every one!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on October 30, 2017, 11:49:43 AM
Is Shoulders?-Stomach! screenwriter Peter Morgan?

(sorry for the Depress link)
http://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/872917/Queen-Royal-Family-The-Crown-Peter-Morgan-Prince-Philip-Matt-Smith-Claire-Foy-Prince-Harry?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
Quote
Peter Morgan, who also wrote The Queen and the play The Audience has blasted the Royal Family and stated that his success may stem from his unique view on the monarchy.
...
“I wouldn't have guessed there would be anything more to say about this countryside woman of limited intelligence who would have much preferred looking after her dogs and breeding horses to being queen.
...
He also told The Times that he was surprised the Royals have lasted the 20th century without “catastrophic errors” from the Queen.

He continued: “They're survival organisms, like a mutating virus.
...
"Look at how many Prime Ministers are wheeled out in coffins, on stretchers, having made fools of themselves: Downing Street is full of sick people. And yet she survives.

“It is clearly a deranged institution and a completely insane system, but perhaps it's the insanity that makes it work.

“Belief in God is so deranged that it makes absolutely no sense, but it holds people together somehow."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 02, 2017, 10:31:45 PM
Uncle Ledge is goin' daaaaaahn:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/kate-middletons-uncle-face-court-11442724 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/kate-middletons-uncle-face-court-11442724)

Legend Gary Goldsmith asked if he could be let off with a cheeky caution for sparking out the missus but got told to fack off...

Ordinarily I'd expect a wealthy and well-connected dodgy geezer to get off, but in this case it would solve a few problems for the CoD (and Carole Middleton) if Uncle Ledge could be made to disappear for a while...

Really I just love this pic and caption combination:

(http://i68.tinypic.com/jfc6mo.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 03, 2017, 12:36:18 AM
the glimpse of William's neck is more terrifying
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 03, 2017, 02:02:21 PM
It is an uncommonly hairless neck, isn't it? I'd expect nothing less from Wills.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 03, 2017, 05:28:24 PM
Overpopulation is threatening wildlife, says man who likes to shoot animals. People need to start having fewer kids, says man expecting his third. We all need to consume less, says man with three kitchens:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/02/prince-william-warns-many-people-world/ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/02/prince-william-warns-many-people-world/)

I don't think he's a hypocrite. I suspect he's just incredibly stupid.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 03, 2017, 05:31:09 PM
It is an uncommonly hairless neck, isn't it? I'd expect nothing less from Wills.
it looks like the shaft of a Gloucester old spot's penis or the wrist of a rigid man.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 03, 2017, 05:41:17 PM
How did I miss this one:

Prince William admits George is fed up with school and would rather be at home with mum Kate (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-william-admits-george-fed-11239406)

Showing signs of being workshy at just four years old and after just three weeks of infant school. He's a Saxe-Coburg-Gotha alright.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 04, 2017, 02:34:23 PM
(I bet Prince George has already shot the class hamster)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 04, 2017, 10:28:47 PM
Overpopulation is threatening wildlife, says man who likes to shoot animals. People need to start having fewer kids, says man expecting his third. We all need to consume less, says man with three kitchens:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/02/prince-william-warns-many-people-world/ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/02/prince-william-warns-many-people-world/)

I don't think he's a hypocrite. I suspect he's just incredibly stupid.

We watched the awful sequel to Blair Witch Project* this evening, and I realised about half way through that it would have been improved 100% had the one lead character (the guy looking for his sister from the original film) been replaced by The Windsors's Wills.






(*I know the films are daft crap, but having grown up with family who lived in the general neck of the woods of Patapsco State Park, I have a soft spot for the original. I know people like the local rednecks interviewed at the start of the first film).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 05, 2017, 06:35:02 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/nov/05/revealed-queen-private-estate-invested-offshore-paradise-papers

Scum.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 05, 2017, 06:36:11 PM
She's fucked. "There is nothing illegal in the investments and no suggestion that the Queen is not paying tax, but questions may be asked about whether the monarch should be investing offshore."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on November 05, 2017, 07:09:22 PM
She's fucked. "There is nothing illegal in the investments and no suggestion that the Queen is not paying tax, but questions may be asked about whether the monarch should be investing offshore."

I do like the inclusion of that in the BBC article. "Oh yeah, money from her estate is being deliberately put offshore to avoid tax, but it's not like she's not paying tax! She's not doing anything illegal!"

She, through the Duchy of Lancaster, is freely taking taxpayer money as her own and then putting it through tax havens to stop paying it back. Fuck her and the rest of them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 05, 2017, 08:54:01 PM
Quote
Lord Ashcroft, who donated millions to the Tories, said he would not comment.

He said it was because of the way he had been treated by BBC Panorama in the past.


"No comment. It's because of the way I have been treated by BBC Panorama in the past"


That's a comment mate. And apparently no fucking shit sherlock.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quote on November 05, 2017, 10:05:07 PM
Quote
The most recent filings by the duchy show it had assets worth £519m at the end of March.

Then why are they claiming £43m a year of taxpayer's money for that bullshit 'sovereign grant' then?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on November 05, 2017, 11:19:41 PM
I like how news outlets aren’t saying that the queen is dodging tax, but her “private estate”. We haven’t really escaped the days of feudalism.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on November 06, 2017, 10:21:16 AM
Really I just love this pic and caption combination:

(http://i68.tinypic.com/jfc6mo.jpg)

I'm more confused about why she's sitting on the bench at West Ham? Replaced Bilic already have they?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 06, 2017, 11:17:22 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/02/prince-william-warns-many-people-world/ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/02/prince-william-warns-many-people-world/)

I don't think he's a hypocrite. I suspect he's just incredibly stupid.

I think it's good he's shedding light on this worryingly unpopular viewpoint.  He's not wrong, but he is very thick and a massive hypocrite.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 06, 2017, 11:17:24 AM
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/nov/05/revealed-queen-private-estate-invested-offshore-paradise-papers

Scum.

Amazing to see people trying to defend Greedy Betty by claiming she didn't know where her money was invested. Royalists praise her for her "wicked sense of humour"  and for being mentally sharp enough to still be "working" at 91, and now they're trying to make out she's a befuddled old dear? Fuck off.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 06, 2017, 11:31:37 AM
I think it's good he's shedding light on this worryingly unpopular viewpoint.  He's not wrong, but he is very thick and a massive hypocrite.

I meant that I don't think he's intentionally and knowingly trying to get away with hypocrisy, I should have made that clear...

It's like that interview he did where he said big game hunting "might not be everyone's cup of tea" but it's alright because the money from it goes back into conservation efforts, and thus shooting wildlife is actually good for wildlife conservation, or something. He didn't seem entirely sure what point he was trying to make, genuinely didn't seem to understand why it seems odd for a man to claim to be a conservationist when he won't condemn big game hunting and his main hobby is shooting animals.

I suspect he has no idea he's a hypocrite, or how hypocritical he sounds to normal people when he gives speeches and interviews. I get the impression that he genuinely is that out-of-touch, and that stupid.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 06, 2017, 04:20:49 PM
Cracking thread title on the Royal Gossip forum, tho:

Quote
Hunter William(3 kids) sheds crocodile tears as he demands Africa's depopulation
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 06, 2017, 04:32:06 PM
I meant that I don't think he's intentionally and knowingly trying to get away with hypocrisy, I should have made that clear...
I get the impression that he genuinely is that out-of-touch, and that stupid.

I wasn't arguing with you, I agree entirely.  He may well consider himself above the rules he's suggesting form 'normal' people.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 06, 2017, 04:36:34 PM
Cracking thread title on the Royal Gossip forum, tho:

That's great
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on November 06, 2017, 05:31:26 PM
I like how news outlets aren’t saying that the queen is dodging tax, but her “private estate”. We haven’t really escaped the days of feudalism.

On BBC Breakfast this morning on the screen bit behind the couch it said "Tax evasion: illegal, Tax avoidance: legal". Fuck, they may as well have put in big letters "THE QUEEN IS INNOCENT".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 07, 2017, 09:11:53 AM
I don't say evasion, I say avoision.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 07, 2017, 06:36:25 PM
Ol' Gouty-Hands lobbied for a rule change that would benefit a company he had shares in- and he's another one who "didn't know" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41901175)

Greedy bunch of bastards.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on November 07, 2017, 10:09:34 PM
"They don't have any real power"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 07, 2017, 10:56:07 PM
"Lucky little non-dom"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 07, 2017, 10:56:40 PM
Cracking thread title on the Royal Gossip forum, tho:

Lol'd
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on November 09, 2017, 09:43:33 AM
Tell me I'm not the only one who feels physically ill at the fact that these have been dubbed the 'Paradise Papers'.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Absorb the anus burn on November 09, 2017, 09:49:12 AM
Tell me I'm not the only one who feels physically ill at the fact that these have been dubbed the 'Paradise Papers'.

The parasite papers....? Missed a trick there, mate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cursus on November 10, 2017, 09:56:58 PM
Look what the Mail is giving away:

(https://s33.postimg.org/5zeya00nj/image.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on November 11, 2017, 08:53:03 AM
That's some 'special watchlist' stuff.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 11, 2017, 12:36:29 PM
Who else read that as "Kate's Cunties"?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on November 11, 2017, 05:47:53 PM
Me, but only because I squinted really hard and wanted to.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on November 12, 2017, 02:51:21 PM
I know they are just children but when I see their faces -especially George's, I feel an irrational hatred and loathing.

George looks like he will grow up to be one of the more unlikable Harry Enfield characters.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 12, 2017, 03:21:28 PM
I know they are just children but when I see their faces -especially George's, I feel an irrational hatred and loathing.

George looks like he will grow up to be one of the more unlikable Harry Enfield characters.

It is very true. Odious cunt. His face screams it. Jumped up little oik.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Gulftastic on November 12, 2017, 05:53:36 PM
It is very true. Odious cunt. His face screams it. Jumped up little oik.

I imagine him acting like Charlie Higson's 'Simon Le Bloody Bon' in Vic & Bob's Slade at Xmas sketch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7Z5WjGlZ6E

(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/q7Z5WjGlZ6E/hqdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 14, 2017, 12:45:27 PM
In other odious cunt news, Uncle Legend Gary has pleaded guilty to assault by beating (the missus), an offence which could get him up to six months in the slammer... but he'll probably just get community service. Carole Middleton must be gutted that her "colourful" brother won't just disappear FFS.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 15, 2017, 08:10:45 AM
It's a venerable tradition, though -- see: Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, Chip Hitler, etc.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Isnt Anything on November 15, 2017, 10:49:51 AM
In other odious cunt news, Uncle Legend Gary has pleaded guilty to assault by beating (the missus), an offence which could get him up to six months in the slammer... but he'll probably just get community service.

The judge has already said it won't be custodial even though his wife was knocked unconscious for 15 seconds.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41984832

'Ahead of sentencing, which will take place on 21 November, chief magistrate Emma Arbuthnot said she was "excluding custody and looking at a community order".

"But I am really looking at how to protect this lady from this man," she said.'

Yeah.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 15, 2017, 11:04:30 AM
There's a Daily Heil article on this which I didn't want to share because most of the comments are along the lines of "B-b-b-but she slapped him and she incited violence so why isn't she in court WAH WAH MISANDRY". One could also argue that he incited her to slap him by going on a week-long coke binge.

...and yes, he does appear to have married a clone of his sister *shudder*- as the Royal Gossip forum put it, Mrs Ledge "looks like Carole Middleton after a good wash".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on November 17, 2017, 11:54:56 AM
Banter Harry still hasn't learned not to dress up in far-right costumes, dragged Donothing into it too this time:

https://www.cnet.com/news/princes-william-harry-star-wars-last-jedi-stormtroopers-john-boyega-tom-hardy/#ftag=CAD590a51e
Quote
Talk about a battle royal. Princes William and Harry have small roles as stormtroopers in the upcoming Star Wars film, "The Last Jedi,"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on November 17, 2017, 12:17:57 PM
Perhaps it's never occured to Queen Kim Jong that all this monarchy is nothing more than a load of old bollocks.

Has anyone ever sat her or Charlizard down and said 'If a Martian landed on the grounds of Buck House how would you explain what you 'are' and what you 'do' to them?  how would you justify your continured existence in our godless land?'

You may see him stroke his chin, think for a moment and say 'Y'know that's never even occured to me.  You're right, this is horse shit of the highest order and I'm pulling the plug right now!'

Obviously no more tourists would ever come to the UK but that's what we want anyway isn't it?

Or would he say that it's part of the British fabric and a marvellous institution with loads of shagging and hiding money and what what!

Would he say that?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on November 17, 2017, 12:37:01 PM
Obviously no more tourists would ever come to the UK but that's what we want anyway isn't it?

As someone who works in central London I'd see an end to tourism as an excellent bonus to us getting rid of the monarchy
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 17, 2017, 01:45:14 PM
Banter Harry still hasn't learned not to dress up in far-right costumes, dragged Donothing into it too this time:

https://www.cnet.com/news/princes-william-harry-star-wars-last-jedi-stormtroopers-john-boyega-tom-hardy/#ftag=CAD590a51e

As always, a day late and a dollar short -- king of Jordan got there first

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kmut6FJ1d4M

Also, I think the costume Mick Fleetwood wore would be more appropriate for Windsor sci-fi cosplay

(http://i.imgur.com/Iuu3JY1.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Iuu3JY1)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 17, 2017, 04:32:52 PM
Quote
The princes' highly recognizable faces (and Harry's iconic red hair) are hidden by their costumes, but in-the-know fans can be on the lookout for one specific scene. Boyega, who plays the former stormtrooper now known as Finn, says they appear guarding him in an elevator along with two other famous stormtroopers -- actor Tom Hardy and Gary Barlow from British pop group Take That.

It's all just fucking rank.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on November 17, 2017, 04:49:54 PM
Harry's hair is 'iconic' is it?  I thought it would be a source of shame seeing as it is a constant reminder of his mother's infidelity.

Say it before, say it again.  Say what you want about Lady Di - she loved the boaby.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 17, 2017, 05:18:19 PM
Quote from: CNeT
The princes' highly recognizable faces (and Harry's iconic red hair) are hidden by their costumes, but in-the-know fans can be on the lookout for one specific scene. Boyega, who plays the former stormtrooper now known as Finn, says they appear guarding him in an elevator along with two other famous stormtroopers -- actor Tom Hardy and Gary Barlow from British pop group Take That.

Fuck sake.
I was pretty excited about the new Star Wars.  Why do they have to crowbar all these cunts into it?  It's not funny, or clever, or interesting or anything.  Just shit.
Tom Hardy's alright, but Gary Barlow and the 'princes' are a fucking waste of carbon.

I know they'll be in Stormtrooper suits, but I'll still know.  I'll know and it'll totally ruin the scene, if not the entire film.
Fuck everyone involved in this.
:(
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on November 17, 2017, 05:33:56 PM
Yeah, I don't really get the insistence that random famous people have to have stormtrooper cameos. They had the same with Daniel Craig in TFA, and for some reason the cunt from Rizzle Kicks has a cameo in Rogue One too (not a stormtrooper though). It's probably a nice way for them to make some extra cash, charge rich celebrities with money to burn 500 grand or whatever so they can say they were in Star Wars.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 17, 2017, 05:59:40 PM
Fuck sake.
I was pretty excited about the new Star Wars.  Why do they have to crowbar all these cunts into it?  It's not funny, or clever, or interesting or anything.  Just shit.
Tom Hardy's alright, but Gary Barlow and the 'princes' are a fucking waste of carbon.

I know they'll be in Stormtrooper suits, but I'll still know.  I'll know and it'll totally ruin the scene, if not the entire film.
Fuck everyone involved in this.
:(

I loathe Star Wars, but even I'm irate. But then I thought probably the princes are not in the costumes - why would they need to be. It's a pointless exercise. You could say anyone's in there.

Credits:

Stormtrooper #45: Jesus Christ Our Lord
Stormtrooper #65: Bradley Walsh
Stormtrooper #72: Stormtrooper #13
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 19, 2017, 10:26:16 AM
Banter Harry still hasn't learned not to dress up in far-right costumes, dragged Donothing into it too this time:

https://www.cnet.com/news/princes-william-harry-star-wars-last-jedi-stormtroopers-john-boyega-tom-hardy/#ftag=CAD590a51e

Do they run around shooting ewoks?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on November 19, 2017, 10:30:13 AM
Do they run around shooting ewoks?

Get with the times man!

They send beaters in to flush out the porgs.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 27, 2017, 10:14:31 AM
It's official: Banter Harry is making his girlfriend Princess Syoots:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42137179 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42137179)

A million Daily Mail readers have aneurysms as they run out of ways of saying "I'm not racist, but..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 27, 2017, 10:20:34 AM
Uuuurgh, when will it end.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on November 27, 2017, 11:18:31 AM
Definitely means Philip only has days to live.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MiddleRabbit on November 27, 2017, 12:10:55 PM
This Megan lass looks a bit like Pippa from a certain angle - not necessarily the back one.  It makes me wonder if Bants didn't try it on with sister in law, who spurned him and he's just gone around looking for the first famous lass with a bit of the Pippa about her.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on November 27, 2017, 12:15:03 PM
They've all got a bit of Pippa about them by the time I've etc.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 27, 2017, 01:17:00 PM
This Megan lass looks a bit like Pippa from a certain angle - not necessarily the back one.  It makes me wonder if Bants didn't try it on with sister in law, who spurned him and he's just gone around looking for the first famous lass with a bit of the Pippa about her.

Pippuh.

Definitely means Philip only has days to live.

No, no, no -- he'll time it better than that. Like the day before the actual wedding.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MiddleRabbit on November 27, 2017, 01:19:22 PM
Ideally at the point at which the vicar asks if anyone knows of any reason they should not marry.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quote on November 27, 2017, 02:00:02 PM
Urgh. The fawning and sycophancy over this is neauseating. Interviews with ‘ordinary folk’ out on the streets saying how happy they are - why? They wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.

This stupid fucking country.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on November 27, 2017, 02:12:02 PM
Already seen one headline talking about their "fairy tale romance"

Not sure which fairy tale involves a racists lout hooking up with a divorcee. One of Grimms' perhaps?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 27, 2017, 02:20:31 PM
You do know Banter is closet gay and Syoots infertile. wonder how this will play out.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quote on November 27, 2017, 02:22:28 PM
She’s a real ‘lady of the people’ apparently.

Their meeting place: a private London members club (where else?)

Hmmm.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 27, 2017, 02:25:49 PM
She’s a real ‘lady of the people’ apparently.

Their meeting place: a private London members club (where else?)

Hmmm.

Oh no, not this rinse and repeat job - Diana Mk II has obviously failed, but Mk III looks the real deal - exuberant, fun, compassionate and a bit naughty.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 27, 2017, 03:28:56 PM
Yep- I never liked Waity Katie but Syoots actually seems alright to me.

I've noticed that the closet racists criticising her seem to be really clutching at straws- saying her family are "trashy" while having no problem with Uncle Wifebeater over at La Maison de Bang Bang, saying it's "inappropriate" for Harry to be marrying an actress while having no problem with Kate's previous career in doing fuck-all, etc.

This nice non-sneery BBC article makes her seem massively overqualified for the job as Princess Banter:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42112647 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42112647)

Diana Mk II has obviously failed, but Mk III looks the real deal - exuberant, fun, compassionate and a bit naughty.

She also seems to have a bit of intelligence* and an actual work ethic, and a bit of style... so yes, she may yet succeed as Diana III. It'll be White Fiat Uno II for her, then. Shame.

*Besides wanting to marry Banter Harry, of course
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 27, 2017, 04:23:17 PM
Also, here are her dogs (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/42134108/meghan-markle-suits-her-dogs-the-ex-and-deal-or-no-deal):

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/549/cpsprodpb/17F4D/production/_98952189_dogs.jpg)

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 27, 2017, 04:29:21 PM
Dyoogs, syoorely?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 27, 2017, 05:45:36 PM
They're cyoot
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 27, 2017, 06:35:11 PM
Ideally at the point at which the vicar asks if anyone knows of any reason they should not marry.

No, that's when the Queens starts to shudder uncontrollably, splits longways down the middle, and all the bees fly out.

Also, here are her dogs (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/42134108/meghan-markle-suits-her-dogs-the-ex-and-deal-or-no-deal):

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/549/cpsprodpb/17F4D/production/_98952189_dogs.jpg)



Her hyounds appear to be Good Dogs.

Myself will be keeping an eye on Do-Nothing to see if she grinds her caps down into stumps, in a fury that this is stealing thunder from her third spawning.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 27, 2017, 06:39:03 PM
I'll be keeping an eye on Pippa's arse and how she uses it to steal the show this time.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dex Sawash on November 27, 2017, 07:09:04 PM
NPR (america) radio gushing obsequiously at the tops of the hour news report. 
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FredNurke on November 27, 2017, 07:26:05 PM
I'll be keeping an eye on Pippa's arse and how she uses it to steal the show this time.

If she's really skilful, she'll use it to steal the silverware.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dex Sawash on November 28, 2017, 02:32:27 AM
Should have engaged Fanny Farkle
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on November 28, 2017, 10:06:49 AM
Should have engaged Jodie Marsh and publicly motorboated her.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on November 28, 2017, 10:38:43 AM
The newspaper front pages look great today. Really cheered me up walking into my local co op this morning. I was so cheered up I felt like intentionally walking into oncoming traffic.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 28, 2017, 12:25:52 PM
Uncle Legend Gary has just been handed a fine of £5,000 plus court costs, a twelve-month community order, and an order to attend rehab. Lack of remorse for sparking out the missus was apparently a factor in the sentencing:

https://mobile.twitter.com/kirkkorner/status/935481190223577088 (https://mobile.twitter.com/kirkkorner/status/935481190223577088)

Quote
She accused him of taking drugs on the cab ride home, he responded by calling her a “nothing” and a “whore”.

I guess someone just got scratched off the invite list.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 28, 2017, 02:41:08 PM
Princess Harry of Wales

Quote from: BBC
As the BBC's Nicholas Witchell explained at the time of William and Kate's engagement in 2011, the Royal Family has not flourished for 1,000 years or so without finding a solution to this somewhat baffling and arguably meaningless issue of what people should be called.

Nick "Dark Secrets" Witchell, remember
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 28, 2017, 02:47:31 PM
Princess Bants.

Princess Ginger.

Princess Puppah
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on November 28, 2017, 04:00:39 PM
Nick "Dark Secrets" Witchell, remember

Oh yeah - I remember, Blodders...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 28, 2017, 05:06:54 PM
Oh yeah - I remember, Blodders...

I'll Fax you the details
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 28, 2017, 10:06:41 PM
Quote from: BlodwynPig/BBC
As the BBC's Nicholas Witchell explained at the time of William and Kate's engagement in 2011, the Royal Family has not flourished for 1,000 years or so without finding a solution to this somewhat baffling and arguably meaningless issue of what people should be called.

What the hell is this supposed to mean?  So they were flourishing 1000 years ago, or they're flourishing now?  Have they found a solution or haven't they?
In what way have they ever flourished?

Fuck the lot of them.  Can we just chuck them in a skip and forget it ever happened?  It's getting embarrassing.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on November 29, 2017, 10:42:23 AM
Makes me sick to live here to be honest. Ever meet someone from another country and they automatically assume you must love the Royals and you explain 'well no, they're not that popular among the working class and so on'. 'So why do you still have 'em then?'

Fucking good question.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on November 29, 2017, 11:20:37 AM
What the hell is this supposed to mean?  So they were flourishing 1000 years ago, or they're flourishing now?  Have they found a solution or haven't they?
In what way have they ever flourished?

It's just a different way of saying 'the Royal family has flourished for 1000 years, partly because it somehow finds solutions to these contrived non-problems'.

Perhaps he is suggesting that this kind of arcane trivia is a small part of 'the mystique' which has done a job of persuading enough people through the ages that they're Better Than Us, and A Good Thing.

It's arguable whether it has flourished - but comparison to the French and Russian royal families it certainly has.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on November 29, 2017, 11:23:35 AM
I'll Fax you the details

Better yet, telex. Unless you've some cleft sticks?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 29, 2017, 04:08:37 PM
True, the whole thing is contrived as fuck.

French and Russian

Ahh, those guys know how to deal with their 'royal' 'families'.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 29, 2017, 04:18:04 PM
Better yet, telex. Unless you've some cleft sticks?

I'll be smoking up a fire this evening. Watch the skies. Watch the skies.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on November 29, 2017, 05:00:11 PM
Makes me sick to live here to be honest. Ever meet someone from another country and they automatically assume you must love the Royals

That's every phone call, every week, home to my mother (who thinks I see/visit with the royals on every available occasion) even without these particular silly shenanigans.

My email inbox has blown up from various American acquaintances gushing about the engagement and wedding, and assuming that myself and everyone else over here must be so excited (me in particular because of the Anglo-American angle. Last time I looked, Prince Mr Attila came with a mortgage and a tendency never to top up the toilet roll.)

Bleurgh.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 01, 2017, 04:22:18 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42192706
Quote
A senior Anglican minister has been criticised for saying people should pray for Prince George to be gay to help the Church of England recognise same-sex marriage.

Because that's what's been holding up acceptance of homosexuality in the church!

Anyway, doubt it'll work; we've all been praying for little Damien McOmenface to fuck off for a while now and nowts happened (although those balding incantations did work on his dad)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on December 07, 2017, 08:27:25 AM
On the front page of the Mirror there is a story about George being targeted by Jihadis.
Obviously there is a pic of the young Prince captioned Innocent, Prince George in uniform
He looks anything but.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on December 07, 2017, 08:40:04 AM
73 year old man in buying-a-4-pack-of-Heineken shocker: http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/meghan-markles-reclusive-dad-pictured-11652070
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 07, 2017, 09:36:16 AM
73 year old man in buying-a-4-pack-of-Heineken shocker: http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/meghan-markles-reclusive-dad-pictured-11652070

Whilst I feel for the poor sap, who just wants his privacy, I also want him to give away the bride -- it'd be like a scene out of 'Bells' when Blackadder bribes his fiancee's dad to make himself scarce ahead of the wedding.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 13, 2017, 04:27:14 PM
The only aspect of this story that didn't make me want to go out immediately and punch a puppy

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42340646

is that the royal family do Christmas on Christmas Eve AS IT SHOULD BE DONE.

(not the family part, but the timing of any 'ho's or 'humbugs.'  Also, if I had my way, whatever the meal is for the day would be prepped and ready to go during xmas eve afternoon, so that it could go into a slow-bake oven on the day, and then be picked at all day Christmas day. None of them, spending 26 hours in the kitchen on Christmas day doing whatever it is, exactly, he's doing out there.)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 13, 2017, 09:22:20 PM
all that does is remind how swift time passes. Seems like only last week we were discussing the imminent (or actual) demise of the Queen due to her having a cold.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 14, 2017, 05:09:27 PM
the royal family do Christmas on Christmas Eve

BECAUSE THEY'RE GERMAN LOL
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 14, 2017, 07:51:36 PM
BECAUSE THEY'RE GERMAN LOL

So was my grandad (probs why it's in my system).

Hmmm...could I use this info and my extremely German surname to get an invite from Prince Dress up like a Nazi Bants?*




*I think the old man was actually Prussian, and ran away from home to avoid being impressed into the Prussian army.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 14, 2017, 10:04:31 PM
So you’re PPRussian?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 15, 2017, 01:27:56 PM
So you’re PPRussian?

The deadly one-two punch of a german grandad and an Irish (great)granddad* apparently



*that grandfather lied throughout his life about being born in the olde cuntrie.

Never mind all that -- mark the calendar and save the date for the Bants-Syoots merger on 19th May.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phil_A on December 15, 2017, 08:18:06 PM
On a fucking Saturday too, so there'll be no day off for us plebs. Thanks LEGEND HARRY.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Gulftastic on December 15, 2017, 08:24:32 PM
And that's the first weekend after my birthday, so the pubs will be full of royal tat and wankers. How can I have an all day pub crawl if every pub is full of dickheads watching the bread and circuses?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 18, 2017, 09:29:14 PM
And that's the first weekend after my birthday, so the pubs will be full of royal tat and wankers. How can I have an all day pub crawl if every pub is full of dickheads watching the bread and circuses?

Come to Scotland.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 20, 2017, 10:35:33 AM
Gurning Bald Horse Impersonates Gurning Bald Horse:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/royal-variety-viewers-fall-love-11724290 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/royal-variety-viewers-fall-love-11724290)

Our future fucking king here:

(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/gallop-1.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on December 20, 2017, 10:39:34 AM
Is the robot trying to appear human again? Can't fool us.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 20, 2017, 10:41:50 AM
...and please enjoy these pictures documenting his ongoing transformation into Prince Edward:

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/12/20/10/4779303C00000578-5197619-image-a-24_1513765322631.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/11/25/00/46AB065700000578-5114547-image-m-67_1511569532081.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 20, 2017, 10:46:14 AM
Is the robot trying to appear human again?

He's demonstrating how Prince Damien McOmenface and the two spares were conceived:

(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/gallop-1.gif)
(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/gallop-1.gif)
(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/gallop-1.gif)
(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/gallop-1.gif)
(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/gallop-1.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 22, 2017, 03:38:15 PM
Princess Michael of Kent had a rummage through the trinket box to find just the piece to spice up her outfit at a lunch with Syoots

(http://i.imgur.com/cwgcOkml.jpg) (https://imgur.com/cwgcOkm)

Yikes.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/people/princess-michael-kent-prompts-controversy-wearing-racist-blackamoor/
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 22, 2017, 06:09:19 PM
Gurning Bald Horse Impersonates Gurning Bald Horse:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/royal-variety-viewers-fall-love-11724290 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/royal-variety-viewers-fall-love-11724290)

Our future fucking king here:

(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/gallop-1.gif)

A sentence that sends icicles through my veins

Quote
"Prince William just galloped and I cried and my life is infinitely better - thank you Miranda Hart for making it happen!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 23, 2017, 12:47:02 PM
Die bald cunt
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Here Comes Mongo on December 23, 2017, 02:07:52 PM
Gurning Bald Horse Impersonates Gurning Bald Horse:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/royal-variety-viewers-fall-love-11724290 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/royal-variety-viewers-fall-love-11724290)

The fact that that article is comprised almost entirely of twitter quotes annoyed me nearly as much as the content.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: bgmnts on December 23, 2017, 02:12:37 PM
I would genuinely like to g back in time and have a drink with Charles II.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 23, 2017, 02:13:00 PM
Die bald cunt

Willkommen zurück, mein kleine freund.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 23, 2017, 02:13:45 PM
The fact that that article is comprised almost entirely of twitter quotes annoyed me nearly as much as the content.

Modern day A* journalism. A pestilence on society and culture.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 25, 2017, 03:22:40 PM
MERRY BALDMAS, WILLS:

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/1/2017/12/25/14/wire-1966814-1514213767-713_634x475.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 27, 2017, 10:14:12 AM
Why wish these people ill



When you can wish them dead
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on December 27, 2017, 10:18:58 AM
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-42480224 (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-42480224)
Some woman took a picture of the Four Horsepeople of the Apocalypse outside church on Christmas and now thinks it's going to fund her daughter's education. Somehow I doubt she's going to get £30,000 for it but good luck to her if I'm wrong.
.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 27, 2017, 03:18:16 PM
I hope she surreptitiously photoshopped a swastika somewhere on their clothing before selling it
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on December 28, 2017, 02:28:42 PM
I'm no conspiracy theorist, but you saw the Queen's speech this year, right?

Fuck off, that's not the real Queen. Too tall, face too long, thicker brow. No way. She's raddled or dead.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 28, 2017, 02:31:56 PM
I'm no conspiracy theorist, but you saw the Queen's speech this year, right?

Fuck off, that's not the real Queen. Too tall, face too long, thicker brow. No way. She's raddled or dead.

To be fair, neither was the Queen in the first televised Queen's speech
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on December 28, 2017, 04:03:42 PM
Some woman took a picture of the Four Horsepeople of the Apocalypse

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/106F4/production/_99361376_royalchristmas_karenanvil.jpg)

Ha ha. Death, Famine, Pestilence, War.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Uncle TechTip on December 28, 2017, 04:17:31 PM
It was Jeanette Charles voicing a new speech by Cassetteboy.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Gwen Taylor on ITV on December 28, 2017, 04:20:33 PM
I'm no conspiracy theorist, but you saw the Queen's speech this year, right?

Fuck off, that's not the real Queen. Too tall, face too long, thicker brow. No way. She's raddled or dead.

You know it was her last speech because this year was the clips show episode.  Time for a reboot.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on December 28, 2017, 05:13:29 PM
You know it was her last speech because this year was the clips show episode.  Time for a reboot.

They’re going the opposite way to Doctor Who. Rumour has it the next queen is going to be a man.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: spock rogers on December 28, 2017, 07:53:23 PM
I'm sure everyone in here is counting down the days until you can get your Royal Funko Pop! I can't see if the William one has got a massive bald spot at the back.

https://www.funko.com/blog/article/339738627/coming-soon-pop-royals

(https://staticapp.icpsc.com/icp/loadimage.php/mogile/703908/60f46d3193ed881f6e181ff853c15d41/image/jpeg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Howj Begg on December 28, 2017, 08:02:00 PM
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-42480224 (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-42480224)
Some woman took a picture of the Four Horsepeople of the Apocalypse outside church on Christmas and now thinks it's going to fund her daughter's education. Somehow I doubt she's going to get £30,000 for it but good luck to her if I'm wrong.
.


Quote
"The thing is - and I hate to play the single mum card - I'm a single parent, I work two jobs, which I'm proud of and I've always worked.

"Now I want to save money for my daughter for uni and if I can do that, and can get that opportunity that's amazing."

Additional reporting by UGC and Social News

The conjunction of the incredibly wealthy welfare claimants in her photo and her confession might have been the opportunity for some journalism. Perhaps UGC and Social News (oh and BBC News) thought that was inappropriate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on December 28, 2017, 09:07:33 PM
Quote
"I'm just very bubbly by nature"

*swipe left*
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 28, 2017, 10:29:35 PM
I'm sure everyone in here is counting down the days until you can get your Royal Funko Pop! I can't see if the William one has got a massive bald spot at the back.

https://www.funko.com/blog/article/339738627/coming-soon-pop-royals

(https://staticapp.icpsc.com/icp/loadimage.php/mogile/703908/60f46d3193ed881f6e181ff853c15d41/image/jpeg)

Anthony Worrall Thompson has lost weight.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on December 29, 2017, 01:36:11 PM
My dad was saying yesterday that Meg, Molly, Fergie2.0 whatever she's called - her anyway, well they can 'trace' her ancestry 'all the way back' to Henry VIII. 

How about that - it's almost as if it was written in the stars.  This lad who can trace his ancestry back to a bunk up in the back of a Land Rover and this girl who I'd never heard of (and still haven't) have been given divine approval to start shitting out kids for us to educate and send on skiing holidays.

Fuck 'em.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on January 07, 2018, 03:18:56 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-42595480
Quote
Pub opening hours could be extended to 1am for the weekend of the royal wedding in May, the government says.
...
She said: "Visitors see the Great British pub as a cultural icon, almost as much as the Royal Family."

The Home Secretary said ahead of the consultation: "I hope that this relaxation of the licensing hours will allow people to extend their festivities and come together to mark what will be a very special moment for the country."

Oh thank ye, most blessed majesty and wise PM.

Aren't pubs allowed to to open late anyway, just most don't bother?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 07, 2018, 03:29:08 PM
cultural icon? pubs?

festivities?

she's been watching too much 'enders.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: yesitsme on January 10, 2018, 11:37:48 AM
Don't know what she'd been watching but last night, out of the blue Little 'un said 'I'm going to write a letter to THAT Queen.'  'What are you going to say to her?' I asked.  'Wave properly y'weirdo'.

 
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 10, 2018, 04:01:43 PM
The Bants-Syoots merger is still pissing off all the right people:

Ann Widdecombe brands royal bride 'trouble' and says actress's background makes her 'uneasy' (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/meghan-markle-ann-widdecombe-trouble-comments-brixton-visit-reprezent-fm-prince-harry-background-a8150866.html)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 10, 2018, 04:19:00 PM
The Bants-Syoots merger is still pissing off all the right people:

Ann Widdecombe brands royal bride 'trouble' and says actress's background makes her 'uneasy' (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/meghan-markle-ann-widdecombe-trouble-comments-brixton-visit-reprezent-fm-prince-harry-background-a8150866.html)

Just solidifies the empathy in the great unwashed for the embattled royals. Defend the honour of the crown, people!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on January 10, 2018, 06:25:56 PM
Nice to see the Royal Family take the last light-hearted news-slot on News at Ten last night; showing Harry and Megan being down with the Brixton kids and so in touch. I think it was the Welsh presenter's light hearted cheery smile after the piece that really wanted to make me vomit.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 11, 2018, 08:27:43 PM
The official supplier of the CoD's massive bras has lost its royal warrant after its founder mentioned visits to Buckingham Palace in her autobiography:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42647441 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42647441)

No details on the massive royal norkage within apparently, looks like this is just more of the CoD's trademark spitefulness. Mind you, some BBC radio presenters lost their jobs for daring to suggest ol' Queeno, mother-of-four,  has had sex at least four times, so maybe she's just really thin-skinned- and her ex-bra fitter would know just how thin the royal décolletage is.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 11, 2018, 10:22:07 PM
Fascinating and important

Quote
The royal endorsement can also be removed if a brand stops being used by the Palace, such as Carr's Table Water biscuits, which lost its warrant in 2012 because of "lower demand".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 11, 2018, 10:40:16 PM
I bet Charles doesn't like Carr's water biscuits, no chance of getting gout eating those.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 11, 2018, 10:44:52 PM
Just researching your avatar, I found this

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/04/28/article-0-0BCE553B00000578-840_634x594.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Isnt Anything on January 11, 2018, 10:45:17 PM
the Hoover thing sounded interesting though
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Uncle TechTip on January 11, 2018, 11:22:49 PM
I have to be honest and say I wouldn't mind a go on the Queen's tits.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 12, 2018, 07:38:38 AM
I guess you get a bit bosomy to counterbalance the weight of wearing rocks on your head

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-42654058/coronation-memories-queen-s-advice-on-wearing-a-crown

Useful advice here in response to such a common, every day peril we all face.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on January 12, 2018, 09:32:55 AM
The official supplier of the CoD's massive bras has lost its royal warrant after its founder mentioned visits to Buckingham Palace in her autobiography

What a miserable bunch of cunts.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 12, 2018, 09:48:52 AM
Aye, it seems that this woman's only crime is daring to suggest that the Queen has norks and wears bras, like those BBC radio presenters who got sacked for stating the obvious. The CoD has massive norks, we all know, we can see 'em.

Rigby and Peller are also bloody good, so it's Queenie's loss. I wonder what bra will be supporting the CoD's bangers from now on- I bet Phil's been to Ann Summers and picked out something tacky and shiny and red.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Isnt Anything on January 12, 2018, 03:22:41 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-42654058/coronation-memories-queen-s-advice-on-wearing-a-crown

Useful advice here in response to such a common, every day peril we all face.

on the BBC News homepage theyve now changed the headline to 'The Queen on how it feels to wear a heavy crown' perhaps aware that the previous version was patronising as fuck ? or maybe she was wary of giving out advice to potential competition haha.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Isnt Anything on January 12, 2018, 03:28:54 PM
Aye, it seems that this woman's only crime is daring to suggest that the Queen has norks and wears bras, like those BBC radio presenters who got sacked for stating the obvious.

hmmm to be fair according to the video interview with her, the bbc bloke does point out that she described the layout of the route to the queens bedroom and had commented that many of the rooms along the way looked dingy. and the woman looked surprised as if it hadnt occurred to her that that could have offended .... and then denied that it could have .... silly moo.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: kalowski on January 12, 2018, 08:18:22 PM
I have to be honest and say I wouldn't mind a go on the Queen's tits.
I might start using "The Queen's Tits" in place of "The Bee's Knees".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on January 13, 2018, 08:42:58 AM
I might start using "The Queen's Tits" in place of "The Bee's Knees".

But then they really won't be able to fly - theoretically or otherwise!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Isnt Anything on January 13, 2018, 09:19:49 AM
Of interest to this thread perhaps

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/jan/13/queen-elizabeth-assassination-attempt-new-zealand-1981
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 14, 2018, 10:58:03 AM
Syoots pissing off the right people #544368845:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-42679187

Prince Philip is going to cark it from an aneurysm the second she says "I do". Either that or he'll be driving a white Fiat Uno down the aisle.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on January 17, 2018, 09:21:31 PM
2017 scrounger list revealed. What did the benefit cheats blag this year?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42717332
Quote
Glitterballs and lollipops were among the gifts given to members of the Royal Family last year, the Palace has revealed.

Other presents included a falcon hood, and a union jack worn on the spacesuit of British astronaut Major Tim Peake.

The gifts were presented by, among others, the King and Queen of Spain and the Sultan of Brunei.

But don't worry, whilst they get to use all this stuff, it technically belongs to all of us. So that's okay.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 18, 2018, 07:50:31 PM
It's not an improvement

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-42737259
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 18, 2018, 10:09:28 PM
The other day his wife said she liked olives.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 22, 2018, 06:09:48 PM
NEWSFLASH: Princess Eugenie is engaged to be married to a former nightclub manager! Congrats, E:

(https://d1m6vmmwsgiy3l.cloudfront.net/images/screenshots/screenshot_3_12564.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 22, 2018, 07:57:47 PM
Time to buy a mad hat.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: dr beat on January 22, 2018, 10:38:00 PM
NEWSFLASH: Princess Eugenie is engaged to be married to a former nightclub manager! Congrats, E:

(https://d1m6vmmwsgiy3l.cloudfront.net/images/screenshots/screenshot_3_12564.jpg)

"So Chris, big day then.  The boss is getting married to a royal.  who'd have thought it eh?"

"I know! Will the Queen be there"

"I imagine she will Chris.  Do you like the Queen?"

"I do! Will Prince Charles be there?"

"I think so.  Do you like him Chris?"

"I do! Will Kate be there?"

"I think so Chris.  Do you like her?"

"No! I know someone who fancies her though".

"Who's that then Chris? she is taken though"

"I know someone who fancies her...Her! She fancies herself!"

"Well you're not going to say that to her face or call her husband a baldy to his face will you Chris?"

"No! I won't!"

"And you'll have to be doing your very best bouncing that day, high-security and all that Chris?"

"I know!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 22, 2018, 11:13:41 PM
One of the mags here had "Kate rushes to save sick child" on its front cover.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 22, 2018, 11:38:02 PM
I don’t know who Eugenie is, and wished I hadnt bothered looking her up.

Quote
In 2016, Princess Eugenie along with her mother Sarah, Duchess of York, and sister Princess Beatrice collaborated with British contemporary artist Teddy M to create the first ever Royal graffiti. The painting on canvas, titled Royal Love, was painted at Royal Lodge and exhibited in London prior to being sold for a five figure sum.

A life of purest nothing.

How distant does this mob get where they don’t get any preferential treatment, or do they all have their heads in the taxpayer trough?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on January 23, 2018, 04:06:59 PM

A life of purest nothing.

The BBC Radio 4 6.00pm news report described the future Mr York as 'a former nightclub owner, who now works to promote a brand of Tequila.'

A few thoughts ran through my head...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 23, 2018, 09:22:38 PM
It's impossible for tequila to be uttered on Radio 4 without it being front-loaded with sneer.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 23, 2018, 11:22:47 PM
It's impossible for tequila to be uttered on Radio 4 without it being front-loaded with sneer.

Rightfully, in this case.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 30, 2018, 07:46:19 PM
Have the Swedish royals noticed that the curtains in the guest room have mysteriously disappeared yet?

http://people.com/royals/kate-middleton-high-fashion-gown-sweden/

(http://i.imgur.com/ib0uh6ll.jpg) (https://imgur.com/ib0uh6l)

I'm reminded of Carol Burnett's take on Scarlett O'Hara in Went with the Wind.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on January 30, 2018, 08:15:40 PM
This week in Kate Middleton's PR spin:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/duchess-cambridge-kate-middleton-hair-donate-cut-little-princess-trust-wigs-children-cancer-a8183691.html

Quote
Hairdresser Joey, who works for Richard Ward Hair in Chelsea, was cutting the royal mother-of-two’s hair around four months ago when she decided to donate seven inches to the Little Princess Trust.

“While Joey was snipping away the idea came to her of doing some good with it rather than throwing it away. She mentioned it to Joey, who thought it was a brilliant idea,” a royal source told The Daily Express.

So Kate randomly decided to come up with the idea of donating the hair to charity in the middle of the haircut, hair that had no other use now that it was cut and would have been put in the bin. WHAT A SACRIFICE FROM OUR HERO

Here's the price list for Richard Ward Hair, incidentally, with the price for a woman's cut from an "Artistic Director" coming in at 200 quid: https://www.richardward.com/hair-prices/

Quote
“It was sent using someone else's name, so that the trust didn't know it was from a royal source – they just thought it was from a female donor in the Kensington area.

“It’s lovely to think somewhere a little girl is happily wearing a wig made from a real princess's hair. It's a very heartwarming thing for Kate to have done, and very thoughtful to use hair that would have otherwise just been thrown away.”

She done it anonymously because she doesn't want praise and attention and is so humble, except for the fact "Joey" has came out and revealed this "anonymous" donation actually came from Kate. Funny that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 30, 2018, 08:28:49 PM
Wills'n'Kate's hair stylist has revealed the styling stuff she packs for royal tours (https://www.her.ie/beauty/kate-middletons-hairdresser-just-instagrammed-exactly-what-she-uses-on-the-duchess-386425), including 13 hair brushes for Kate:

(https://m0.her.ie/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/30115513/katehair.jpg)

These are the ten brushes she packs for Wills:

(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/46/154956682_d180bc7cbc_b.jpg)

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 30, 2018, 09:11:51 PM
This week in Kate Middleton's PR spin:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/duchess-cambridge-kate-middleton-hair-donate-cut-little-princess-trust-wigs-children-cancer-a8183691.html

So Kate randomly decided to come up with the idea of donating the hair to charity in the middle of the haircut, hair that had no other use now that it was cut and would have been put in the bin. WHAT A SACRIFICE FROM OUR HERO



Sure, it's easy to donate hair when all you have to do is unclip the extensions.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 30, 2018, 09:49:49 PM
Someone should tell Wills that he needs to keep at it with those shears, it doesn't work just the once.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 31, 2018, 12:27:32 AM
Princess Spare is just two years old and is already bilingual:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/princess-charlotte-can-already-speak-11848448

Wow- a clever royal who may yet turn out to be less useless than the rest of the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas and Middletons...

Quote
As well as her native English, the tiny Royal - who started nursery school this week - is already picking up Spanish phrases from her Spanish nanny.

Ah... she's just picking up a bit of Spanish from Nanny Shithat, whom she probably thinks is her real mother...

Also which one of you posted this in the comments? Own up:

Quote
Yes she can say ' Go and fetch my doll right now you peasant ' in English and Spanish .
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on January 31, 2018, 12:39:23 AM
Being able to say 'mama' and 'ole' is the precise definition of being bilingual. It's true.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on February 01, 2018, 11:53:41 AM
This week in Kate Middleton's PR spin:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/duchess-cambridge-kate-middleton-hair-donate-cut-little-princess-trust-wigs-children-cancer-a8183691.html

So Kate randomly decided to come up with the idea of donating the hair to charity in the middle of the haircut, hair that had no other use now that it was cut and would have been put in the bin. WHAT A SACRIFICE FROM OUR HERO

Here's the price list for Richard Ward Hair, incidentally, with the price for a woman's cut from an "Artistic Director" coming in at 200 quid: https://www.richardward.com/hair-prices/

She done it anonymously because she doesn't want praise and attention and is so humble, except for the fact "Joey" has came out and revealed this "anonymous" donation actually came from Kate. Funny that.

Imagine if she shaved her head for charity. Buy millions of wigs that would.

A bald king and his bald queen

The prophecy of Baldmageddon
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on February 01, 2018, 12:09:41 PM
life-style/duchess-cambridge-kate-middleton-hair-donate-cut-little-princess-trust-wigs-children-cancer

I love the way that slugged URL tells you absolutely everything you need to know about the story.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 01, 2018, 02:04:16 PM
life-style/kate-middleton-cancer


would get more hits surely.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on February 01, 2018, 02:33:56 PM
Fucking parasites.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on February 01, 2018, 07:11:09 PM
If the royal family have nits, are we paying for them too
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Gulftastic on February 02, 2018, 05:26:01 PM
Harry Bantz is apparently going to open the new stand at Headingley. I shall tut and shake my head as he does so.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 02, 2018, 05:39:40 PM
Harry Bantz is apparently going to open the new stand at Headingley. I shall tut and shake my head as he does so.

Big job that, a few months hard graft no doubt, lots of scaffolding to put up, transportation work, masonry, surveying...bloody big job actually. Good luck to the fella.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on February 13, 2018, 10:41:28 AM
Bants and Syoots will be popping into a sandwich shop in Edinburgh later today:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-43034104

Quote
Social Bite distributes 100,000 items of food and hot drinks to homeless people across Scotland each year, as well as employing staff who have experienced homelessness themselves.

In the cafe, Harry and Ms Markle will learn more about the social enterprise, meet staff and tour the kitchen.

I'm going to go along and shout "KEEP WRAPPING".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on February 13, 2018, 10:49:49 AM
Sssssh! Super secret!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43040240
Quote
The Commonwealth has secretly begun considering who might succeed the Queen as its head, the BBC has learned.

The issue is hugely sensitive because the role is not hereditary and will not pass automatically to the Prince of Wales on the Queen's death.

So the old dear presided over the collapse of the empire, and even bollocksed up it's limp replacement.

Never mind all us republicans. Surely, on their own terms, the royal family are a failure?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on February 13, 2018, 11:28:30 AM
Bants and Syoots will be popping into a sandwich shop in Edinburgh later today:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-43034104

I'm going to go along and shout "KEEP WRAPPING".

Yes, please! Document everything! I am jealous. Dress as Morgana-Puppah.

All we ever got here was boring old Prince Edward opening a refurbished classroom building, and even then they had to bribe students to show up and go 'huzzah.'
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 17, 2018, 11:15:58 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43442786

Quote
They braved freezing temperatures to watch 350 soldiers, dressed in red regalia, parade at the 1st Battalion's base in Hounslow, West London.

Prince William, who is a colonel of the Irish Guards, and Catherine had to face snow and strong winds as the UK experiences another cold snap.

The Duchess of Cambridge, who is due to give birth to the couple's third child next month, wore a green Catherine Walker coat and a Gina Foster hat.

So ruddy bloody brave
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: bgmnts on March 17, 2018, 11:19:24 PM
I had to go all the way down to Morrisons to get cat litter and Viscounts, belting winds in my face.

Where is my fucking article?


Fuck em. Cunts.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: SpiderChrist on March 18, 2018, 07:30:12 PM
Did Harry make a fuss about benefits cuts, or education cuts, or NHS cuts, or..? I’m sure he did, and I must have just missed it.

https://news.sky.com/story/prince-harry-highlights-shrinking-defence-budgets-as-he-returns-to-army-school-11292657
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: bgmnts on March 18, 2018, 07:34:35 PM
Of all the budgets getting shrunk little soldier boy brings that up.

Silver spoon cunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 18, 2018, 09:32:08 PM
Did Harry make a fuss about benefits cuts, or education cuts, or NHS cuts, or..? I’m sure he did, and I must have just missed it.

https://news.sky.com/story/prince-harry-highlights-shrinking-defence-budgets-as-he-returns-to-army-school-11292657

Cock weasel. Certainly seems like we'll soon be on a War Footing. Fuck the British, fuck them to hell.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on March 18, 2018, 09:44:21 PM
I wonder how much Prince Harry is like "War? Need some more of that good shit!" and how much it's that the Royal Family is run by a PR company that's tasked with making sure the right-wing mindset of every cunt here is always seen as the sensible one.

"Oh the Royal Family think that? It must be official British policy!"

"Are you a tourist or Richard Herring doing his stupid character?"

Reckon stoking nationalism is what keeps him and his bald twat brother in a job. Just taking over from Phil the Fixer I guess.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on March 18, 2018, 11:23:12 PM
War is just like maximum banter; no wonder Hazza is well up for it.

Reckon stoking nationalism is what keeps him and his bald twat brother in a job. Just taking over from Phil the Fixer I guess.

What will be the next generation’s white fiat uno of choice?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 20, 2018, 08:55:52 PM
"Arise Sir Ringo. I now pronounce you 77 years of age and still less bald than me":

(https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/3EDDFbLl9N_irt5sY0KObzmadfI/fit-in/728xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-:watermark-!popsugar-watermark.png,-5,-5,0!-/2018/03/20/737/n/1922398/e9465174b19286a3_GettyImages-934968010_master/i/Prince-William-Investiture-Ceremony-March-2018.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 20, 2018, 10:13:13 PM
Some of these knighting photos look so promising.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on March 22, 2018, 01:29:42 PM
I spent waaaay too much time on this Tumblr

https://www.instagram.com/garyjanetti/?hl=en
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 23, 2018, 10:54:00 AM
Ooooh, Tom Bower's got another unauthorised biography out!

Book claims Prince Charles is a capricious spendthrift obsessed with public opinion (https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/mar/23/rebel-prince-charles-tom-bower)

I enjoyed his biography of Simon Cowell and I'm told the Branson one is also excellent, so I think I'll enjoy this one:

Quote
Charles once “shrieked” and “trembled” at the sight of an unknown plastic substance covering his dinner, only to be told “It’s cling film, darling,” by Camilla. On another occasion, Bower claims the prince brought his own mattress, toilet seat, Kleenex Velvet toilet paper and two “landscapes of the Scottish Highlands” when visiting a friend in north-east England.

The biography also alleges that Charles took a trip on the royal train from Highgrove to Penrith to visit a pub, a journey that cost £18,916; at another time, the prince reportedly complained in his journal after flying Club Class to Hong Kong in a chartered British Airway plane: “It took me some time to realise … that this was not first class (!) although it puzzled me as to why the seat seemed so uncomfortable. Such is the end of Empire, I sighed to myself.”
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on March 23, 2018, 12:34:08 PM
"Arise Sir Ringo. I now pronounce you 77 years of age and still less bald than me":

(https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/3EDDFbLl9N_irt5sY0KObzmadfI/fit-in/728xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-:watermark-!popsugar-watermark.png,-5,-5,0!-/2018/03/20/737/n/1922398/e9465174b19286a3_GettyImages-934968010_master/i/Prince-William-Investiture-Ceremony-March-2018.jpg)

That picture has made me angry. Why is the genius who wrote Octopus's Garden having to kneel at the feet of that bald parasite who has had the world given to him for free, and achieved nothing (pretending to be a Squadron Leader is absurd false modesty... surely by now he should be pretending to be an Air Commodore at least)? It should be the other way round.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 23, 2018, 01:04:19 PM
Ringo also looks better in uniform:

(http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/240sgtpeppertitlepic.jpg)

You'd think Wills could procure a hat and find some excuse to wear it indoors- he's a prince FFS, of course he fucking could.

I was surprised when I learned that people who get OBEs and MBEs don't always get them from the CoD and many get fobbed off with Camilla or Sophie Wessex or something. I was even more surprised when I learned that she doesn't even do all the knighthoods. Imagine being told you were to be honoured for a lifetime of making great art, achieving great acclaim or raising millions for charity, only to turn up to the palace and see that fucking big sword being wielded by Prince Edward or something. Fuck that... if someone wanted to make me a Dame and I actually wanted that to happen I'd be like Queeno or GTFO.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on March 23, 2018, 01:44:12 PM
Quote
The biography also alleges that Charles took a trip on the royal train from Highgrove to Penrith to visit a pub, a journey that cost £18,916; at another time

The royal train.
The royal train?
The.  Royal.  Train.

What the giddy FUCK is the royal train?!

Needless to say, I hope it crashes into Buckingham Palace and ends up lodged in the CoD's arse.  Whatever it is.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 23, 2018, 01:58:07 PM
LoCUNTmotive
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 23, 2018, 02:02:10 PM
The royal train.
The royal train?
The.  Royal.  Train.

What the giddy FUCK is the royal train?!

Needless to say, I hope it crashes into Buckingham Palace and ends up lodged in the CoD's arse.  Whatever it is.

The Royal Train: London to Penrith in less than 2 hours
The Public Train: London to Penrith in less than 2 days if the track hasn't washed away.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 23, 2018, 02:22:04 PM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Royal_Train (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Royal_Train)

Quote
In the United Kingdom, the Royal Train is used to convey senior members of the British Royal Family and associated staff of the Royal Household around the railway network of Great Britain. It is currently operated by the German rail haulage firm DB Cargo UK, a subsidiary of Deutsche Bahn.

...............

Quote
As part of information revealed in March 2017 regarding plans for Queen Elizabeth's death, codenamed Operation London Bridge, the Royal Train would be used in the event that she dies in Scotland, to transport her from Edinburgh to London.

I think they're onto me, lads.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on March 23, 2018, 02:43:48 PM
https://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2018032347245/prince-philip-too-ill-attend-public-engagement/
Quote
Prince Philip was forced to pull out of a public engagement this week after falling ill, it has been reported. The 96-year-old royal rarely makes public appearances since retiring from official duties last year. But he had been expected to attend a ceremony at Windsor Castle on Monday to formally hand over his role as Colonel of the Grenadier Guards to his son, Prince Andrew. Unfortunately, Philip was unable to attend as he was feeling "unwell",

Do we get a day off when he carks it or what?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on March 23, 2018, 09:33:22 PM
He's biding his time until 48 hours prior to the Bantsyoots merger.

Or is that too much lead time? He's a crafty one, that one.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on March 23, 2018, 09:37:53 PM
Ooooh, Tom Bower's got another unauthorised biography out!

Book claims Prince Charles is a capricious spendthrift obsessed with public opinion (https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/mar/23/rebel-prince-charles-tom-bower)

I enjoyed his biography of Simon Cowell and I'm told the Branson one is also excellent, so I think I'll enjoy this one:

'Mama down the road' ? Wtf.

I think I'd like to read this when it's reduced a bit in price; I can't think of Prince Charles now without imagining Harry Enfield speaking the quotes.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 25, 2018, 04:58:25 PM
Predatory Paedophile has been ill for a while
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: dr beat on March 25, 2018, 05:04:27 PM
When Charles went on that trip to Penrith did he go into a tea shop and demand the finest wines known to humanity?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 26, 2018, 11:17:20 AM
'Mama down the road' ? Wtf.

I think I'd like to read this when it's reduced a bit in price; I can't think of Prince Charles now without imagining Harry Enfield speaking the quotes.

In Game Of Crowns there's a quote from Fergie about the toe-sucking incident, something like "I behaved appallingly- I was a disgrace". Naturally I heard this in the voice of Katy Wix ("HULLO GURLS!")
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on March 26, 2018, 11:51:38 AM
In Game Of Crowns there's a quote from Fergie about the toe-sucking incident, something like "I behaved appallingly- I was a disgrace". Naturally I heard this in the voice of Katy Wix ("HULLO GURLS!")

The chapter in Ma'am Darling relating to all that is pretty illuminating, considering all the things Yvonne supposedly got up to on Mustique with Biffo Bindon etc etc.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: shiftwork2 on March 26, 2018, 12:10:52 PM
^ I’m reading this thanks to one of your posts.  It’s brilliant and I’m only a third in.  The tale of the man who had bought every brand of scotch he could find in preparation for Margaret’s visit only to find she requests Famous Grouse, the one he couldn’t find, so she gives a prim ‘then I shan’t have any, thank you’ made me laugh / wince.  In describing her shitty but very funny behaviour the book humanises her and in so doing highlights the absurdity of ‘royalty’.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 26, 2018, 02:58:22 PM
Oh my god, I'm going to have to get this aren't I? I'm bloody obsessed with reading about the royal family- they're all such fascinatingly awful people. It's like my obsession with reading books about Donald Trump. Or perhaps it's more like my hatewatching of Ricky Gervais.

(cheers Gilbert, I'll check it out)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on March 26, 2018, 05:42:33 PM
I want the people who did The Windsors to get together with the people who do the Bad Lip Reading, and overdub the wedding.

I'm not sure if I regret this or not, but I'll be in the US the day they're married, staying with my mad Anglophile friend. Unfortunately, her interest in the royal family doesn't extend past the Queen; she's mainly keen on historical monarchs (and talks about them and various issues in English/British history as if everyone over here, every day, is still talking about the East India Company or the latest quarrels between Stephen Gardiner and Thomas More, or whatever.)

I'm going to have to catch up with all the madness after the fact, I expect.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 26, 2018, 10:45:22 PM
I may also be away from home that day... but reading the CaB thread might actually be the best way to experience the Bants-Syoots merger, like searching for #bbcqt on Twitter is the only tolerable  way of following the action on Question Time.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 26, 2018, 10:51:41 PM
I was just wondering what Uncle Legend Gary has been up to lately and can't believe I missed this- it seems he's been getting drunk, falling over, pissing in the street and eating at Maccy D's. It's not clear if he washed his hands between the piss and the burger:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5290017/Kates-naughty-Uncle-Gary-Goldsmith-boozy-night-out.html

I guess someone's given up all hope of a wedding invite, then. Bants would probably welcome him to the stag do though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 26, 2018, 11:00:19 PM
'naughty', 'cheeky'...cunt
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 26, 2018, 11:17:37 PM
He's a LEGEND GARY, everything he does is therefore "cheeky" or "naughty". Such is The Way Of The Gary.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 27, 2018, 12:24:12 AM
He's a LEGEND GARY, everything he does is therefore "cheeky" or "naughty". Such is The Way Of The Gary.

I'd love to see him stomped to death. I really would. Not that I would wish that on the average British thug.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 27, 2018, 12:56:44 AM
I hate those fucking lairy suits he wears. He looks like he fancies himself as an eccentric and is blissfully unaware that he completely lacks the charm or class to pull them off. It's like the suits are wearing him.

On the other hand, he's possibly still less hateful than his sister Carole, with her pretentions and her social climbing and her attempts to pretend Uncle Ledge doesn't exist. He is what he is and doesn't care who knows, I'll give him that.

The best Middleton is Pippa. She accepted that she had no talent and did the decent thing of marrying a billionaire and taking early retirement. The worst of course is her little brother, StayPuft Middleton- I wonder if he'll be doing marshmallows for Bants and Syoots' party bags.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 28, 2018, 12:11:04 PM
There's a review of the Charles book (https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/mar/28/rebel-prince-tom-bower-review) in today's Guardian. There's not a whole lot in it that hasn't been mentioned in the previous article or on this thread, but there is the weird note that the author claims to be an ardent monarchist.

Quote
By the time you have read through the whole sorry exposé, the obvious thought is that one option for dealing with the prince’s inadequacies would be a British republic after the Queen’s death. Yet Bower insists in his introduction that he is a “committed monarchist”, who still wants Charles to become king and to “bequeath the throne in a healthy state to his son”. If true, this is a very odd book to have written.

I'm in two minds here; although I really want to read this because it sounds hilarious, at the same time, I don't want to waste my time reading about that tampon, especially if the book was written by a monarchist.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on March 28, 2018, 12:38:07 PM
Imagine being a self-confessed monarchist.

Forelock-tugging and thanking the gods for sending a royal family to rule over you. We are but their lowly subjects.

Mental state of affairs.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on March 28, 2018, 12:48:40 PM
Yeah, the reviewer makes a good point about the direction the next monarch should face on the coins. I thought everyone knew that they alternate.

This in the comments:
Quote
But perhaps a British Presidency would have been more like that of France - a country with a very similar population, GDP, and historic role in world affairs to the UK, and a history of grand monarchs. Sarkozy is currently under investigation for allegedly taking 50 million euros from Colonel Gaddafi, brought over from Tripoli in suitcases (later Sarkozy joined in the efforts to get Gaddafi killed). Chirac was eventually convicted of corruption and diverting public funds (but didn't attend his own trial and didn't go to prison). Even the comparatively modest-seeming Hollande thought nothing of spending 120,000 euros a year of taxpayer funds on his hairdresser.

Begs the obvious rejoinder: "When do we get a chance to put their Royal Highnesses on trial for anything? When do we get a chance to vote for someone even momentarily less corrupt?"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Uncle TechTip on March 28, 2018, 12:49:58 PM
Related to royalty or not, doesn't it make you feel a bit sick that someone followed him all the way round London, between venues, outside venues, even into McDonalds and out again? All night? Just to take pictures for the Daily Mail? Though I guess there is a demand for such things. That demand must be fulfilled.

The rank hypocrisy of it as well, if it's a football lout taking a leak outside there's outrage, but here it's a cheeky slash cos he's desperate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 29, 2018, 02:44:13 PM
I find it hard to feel sorry for him because he's a wifebeater and generally a terrible cunt, but yes, the Mail are terrible for this. The whole sidebar of shame seems to be various female celebrities accused of "flaunting her curves", "putting on a leggy display", "showcasing her burgeoning baby bump" etc if they so much as leave the house to buy a pint of milk. It's their sneaky way of justifying their intrusive behaviour, by implying that the women they photograph are all asking for it.

They do it to non-royalty and non-celebs all the time- just look at the annual sneerathons they publish every time Ladies' Day ("I wouldn't call them ladies, hoho!") at Ascot/Aintree/Cheltenham rolls around. If I ever fancied going to a race meet I would seriously be put off by the possibility that I could be publicly shamed for just having a bit of harmless fun.

Worst are all those photos of female celebrities in the back of cars pulling their dresses down- when they do this it's usually because there's a papazzo lying on the ground trying to get an upskirt shot. I'm not sure how that's still legal.

I suppose I'm guilty of driving the demand by clicking on the link, even if Uncle Legend Gary is a cunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 29, 2018, 04:55:35 PM
Related to royalty or not, doesn't it make you feel a bit sick that someone followed him all the way round London, between venues, outside venues, even into McDonalds and out again? All night? Just to take pictures for the Daily Mail? Though I guess there is a demand for such things. That demand must be fulfilled.

The rank hypocrisy of it as well, if it's a football lout taking a leak outside there's outrage, but here it's a cheeky slash cos he's desperate.

The whole thing stinks, the subject, the journalism, the readership
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on March 30, 2018, 12:03:11 PM
Wait a moment! I thought for some reason the wedding was 19 April; I'll be back in the UK for 19th May. Might be compelled to have a look in, but only if I can follow along on a thread or something, kind of like Eurovision.

I wonder if Bants and Syoots know that the big day is the anniversary of Anne Boleyn's execution (someone ought to let the party planners know, in case they're still stuck for a theme).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 30, 2018, 01:42:02 PM
May 19th - I'm in Ireland then. Thank fuck!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on April 02, 2018, 06:51:27 PM
Quote
He looked rather downcast as he joined the royals for yesterday’s Easter Sunday service. But Prince Edward and Sophie’s 10-year-old son appeared much happier today as he was spotted behind the wheel of the family’s Land Rover.

The Queen’s youngest grandchild, James, Viscount Severn, was driving around the private grounds of Windsor Castle while his older sister, Lady Louise Windsor, 14, beamed and laughed with her mother as she drove a carriage.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 03, 2018, 05:38:39 PM
DEAD SOON:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43633549 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43633549)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Golden E. Pump on April 03, 2018, 06:09:29 PM
(http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1368b3_805cd750ef4a46c284c4e3e6392dc0c3.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 03, 2018, 06:41:33 PM
Quote
Lady Louise Windsor, 14, beamed and laughed with her mother as she drove a carriage.

Quote
Lady Louise Windsor, 14, beamed and laughed with her mother as she drove a carriage.

Quote
Lady Louise Windsor, 14, beamed and laughed with her mother as she drove a carriage.

Quote
beamed and laughed with her mother as she drove a carriage.

Quote
laughed with her mother as she drove a carriage.

Quote
as she drove a carriage.

Quote
as she drove a carriage.

Quote
as she drove a carriage.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 03, 2018, 07:16:33 PM
I laughed as I drove them all over
If the Cunt of Death had seen
It suddenly struck me
I just might die with a smile on my face after all
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on April 03, 2018, 08:14:03 PM
Hope he dies the old racist nasty bastard.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Hobo With A Shit Pun on April 04, 2018, 02:28:59 PM
Hope he dies the old racist nasty bastard.

Ach, Moz's  songs are still good, just a pity about his politics.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on April 05, 2018, 07:37:46 AM
He didn't die but we still need to hear about his recovery constantly from the BBC

I still want the CoD to die first because if he went after no one would give a damn. Not going to happen though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 05, 2018, 11:49:48 AM
Trying to remember how the Queen Mum's death and funeral was handled. It has left zero impression on me. That'll be Phil's legacy too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on April 05, 2018, 04:21:54 PM
I remember being annoyed because the funeral was on a weekday, and all the shops in Maidstone were shut when I went on my lunch-break.

Apparently my objecting to this was disrespectful to someone who had done a lot for this country. I tried to explain that 'they haven't shut the fucking office, have they?' but thought better of it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on April 05, 2018, 05:18:55 PM
I remember watching the funeral on TV in school. And also some minor controversy because Peter Sissons was wearing a burgundy tie rather than a black one when he made the announcement, and it wasn't deemed 'sombre' enough.

Here's (https://youtu.be/UC0SqYYQmIM) Sissons wearing his disrespectful tie.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on April 05, 2018, 05:32:48 PM
I remember watching the funeral on TV in school. And also some minor controversy because Peter Sissons was wearing a burgundy tie rather than a black one when he made the announcement, and it wasn't deemed 'sombre' enough.

Here's (https://youtu.be/UC0SqYYQmIM) Sissons wearing his disrespectful tie.

I like that freeze frame of the troop of red bedecked dancer folk at the start, standing on some ruin or other. I imagine them performing live and having to hold that pose throughout the entire bulletin. I thinks that would have been fitting for such an occasion.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on April 05, 2018, 06:52:36 PM
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/grabbing-bargain-pregnant-kate-spotted-12300715

Our Kate loves her reduced items:

Quote
The heavily-pregnant Duchess of Cambridge stunned fellow shoppers as she was spotted visiting Waitrose in Norfolk, armed with several reusable bags.

Dressed in a peach Joseph coat and black boots, she was seen placing items in her trolley - apparently including a discounted plant of coriander or parsley.

And getting her complimentary Waitrose coffee:

Quote
As well as grabbing a bargain with the '25 per cent off' plant, Kate seemingly made the most of being a loyal Waitrose customer - by getting a free hot drink.

The supermarket offers shoppers with myWaitrose cards a complimentary cup of tea or coffee when they pop into one of its branches and make a purchase.

And the 36-year-old Duchess appeared to take up the offer - with a takeaway cup seen in the boot of her car as she lifted her shopping bags into it.

And the most exciting conversation in history:

Quote
She recalled how she said "hello" to the royal as she placed the goods in her car. In response, the Duchess apparently said, "Hi, hello", the Daily Mail reports.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on April 05, 2018, 07:47:12 PM
Worst are all those photos of female celebrities in the back of cars pulling their dresses down- when they do this it's usually because there's a papazzo lying on the ground trying to get an upskirt shot. I'm not sure how that's still legal.

Genuinely, it's because if someone is wearing underwear it doesn't count as an obscene photo, ergo it's not illegal.

It is madness and there's been talk of changing it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on April 05, 2018, 08:21:48 PM
My car boot is often full of discarded Waitrose coffee cups. Why aren't I headline news
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 06, 2018, 07:22:20 AM
Genuinely, it's because if someone is wearing underwear it doesn't count as an obscene photo, ergo it's not illegal.

It is madness and there's been talk of changing it.

It isn't obscene so whatever is changed had better be along the lines of intrusion into personal privacy.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 06, 2018, 08:39:58 AM
My car boot is often full of discarded Waitrose coffee cups. Why aren't I headline news

If your boot was full of discarded royals you might get a look in. Up your game.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on April 07, 2018, 09:33:37 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43660020 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43660020)

Merry residents of Windsor getting even merrier renting their houses out for up to 3 grand a night on the royal wedding weekend. I know they're just making hay but there's still something so grabby about it and they're probably wealthy already. Doesn't seem like they've all been successful either, think the couple who say they can "play" with the price might be playing a lot more than they'd like.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 07, 2018, 09:48:50 PM
Homeless renting out their spot for 3 cans of skol a night.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on April 07, 2018, 09:52:43 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43660020 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43660020)

Merry residents of Windsor getting even merrier renting their houses out for up to 3 grand a night on the royal wedding weekend. I know they're just making hay but there's still something so grabby about it and they're probably wealthy already. Doesn't seem like they've all been successful either, think the couple who say they can "play" with the price might be playing a lot more than they'd like.

Sounds a bit like how the news was saying everyone could rent their houses and flats out for £££ during the London Olympics but then it turned out that nah everyone couldn't really, there wasn't the demand.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on April 08, 2018, 10:25:50 AM
Sounds a bit like how the news was saying everyone could rent their houses and flats out for £££ during the London Olympics but then it turned out that nah everyone couldn't really, there wasn't the demand.

I think some of them are just trying it on at the moment charging thousands per night probably hoping some foreigns or TV crews will snap them up as money's no object. They'll probably end up dropping it to a few hundred the week beforehand.
There was even someone in that article who'd decided against renting out her home despite apparently believing she could get £15,000 if she did. Could be a vast house I guess but even so, really? Even at £3000 a night why would they want it for 5 nights?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on April 08, 2018, 10:39:18 AM
If someone was paying me that much to stay in my house just because that fucking family is having a wedding nearby I would send a fumigator round in the middle of the night to kill them with their special gases.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 10, 2018, 01:11:06 PM
GET IN GRAVE:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00UANMXFC/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

(https://media.bloomsbury.com/rep/bj/9781408865712.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 10, 2018, 01:13:40 PM
Urgh sanctimonious fucking shit

Welcome to the 1400s
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 10, 2018, 01:18:34 PM
No balds either. Sycophant.

She has a few of these - “shhh, don’t wake the royal baby”

This is how future generations get brainwashed into imperialism
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 10, 2018, 01:21:23 PM
Hopefully that kid in the bottom right is like Van Eyck's snotty nose fool pondering about the legitimacy of a hereditary monarch in 2018.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 10, 2018, 02:08:43 PM
Syoots is looking unusually fair-skinned too- Ada Grey, you Daily Mail reader-wooing cunt.

This is crying out for a bit of Photoshopping...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on April 10, 2018, 02:24:46 PM
Syoots is looking unusually fair-skinned too- Ada Grey, you Daily Mail reader-wooing cunt.


I was thinking that too, in fact the 'artist' is so pisspoor the two women look almost identical and the only discernible difference between the men is Harry's in uniform and has a conehead. Also I wasn't aware one of Wills and Kate's current kids was a corgi but I suppose it makes sense what with him having been away flying helicopters a lot.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 10, 2018, 02:32:49 PM
GET IN GRAVE:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00UANMXFC/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

(http://i64.tinypic.com/2a6a16x.jpg)

Horrible
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: paruses on April 10, 2018, 02:47:41 PM
I was thinking that too, in fact the 'artist' is so pisspoor the two women look almost identical and the only discernible difference between the men is Harry's in uniform and has a conehead. Also I wasn't aware one of Wills and Kate's current kids was a corgi but I suppose it makes sense what with him having been away flying helicopters a lot.

Yes that seems a massive oversight being as William look like Charles, the Duke of Gloucester, Edward VII, the last Tzar of Russia and Harry looks like James Hewitt and a bit like a young Rory McGrath.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on April 10, 2018, 02:51:39 PM
Syoots is looking unusually fair-skinned too

I thought it was Puppa.

Also why does William have a nose on each side of his head? Has he got three faces?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on April 10, 2018, 02:58:25 PM
I think it is Puppa.

Interview with Illustrator Ada Grey (https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/pre-school-book-of-the-month-may-hooray-its-a-new-royal-baby-martha-mumford-and-ada-grey/) (yes I've been doing some research, OK)

Quote
Which family member do you enjoy illustrating the most?

It just has to be the Queen. Getting her to do unusual and unexpected things was a lot of fun, but Prince George is my next favourite. He’s such a sweetie, and just a little bit cheeky! But I love doing Harry and Pippa, they’re always having fun, and Kate’s hats are becoming a bit of a trademark too

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: JoeyBananaduck on April 10, 2018, 03:10:25 PM
I think it is Puppa.

Interview with Illustrator Ada Grey (https://blog.whsmith.co.uk/pre-school-book-of-the-month-may-hooray-its-a-new-royal-baby-martha-mumford-and-ada-grey/) (yes I've been doing some research, OK)



Fuck me up the bum bumhole. Christ. This shit gives my arse an earache.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on April 10, 2018, 03:10:29 PM
I think it is Puppa.

Yeah it must be. The new one wasn't part of the scene when Devil Child 2.0 was spawned, was she?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 10, 2018, 04:34:56 PM
My mistake- I just saw this on Facebook and assumed it was a new one all about The Baby Of Death #3.

Ahahaha, all the kids are ginger like Harry Hewittson is their real dad- top trolling Ada, I take back my previous comment.

(+100 karma for the Fiat Uno, Blumf)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: machotrouts on April 10, 2018, 06:01:31 PM
(https://media.bloomsbury.com/rep/bj/9781408865712.jpg)

...is that real hair on Kate? I'm sure Ada's pasted a photograph of someone's actual hair, and then just squiggled a few brown lines over it.

That or, worse still, she has a specific talent for photorealistic drawing of Kate Middleton's hair, and Kate Middleton's hair only.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on April 10, 2018, 08:52:12 PM
Needs some 1 star reviews to even up the average.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 11, 2018, 12:15:07 AM
...is that real hair on Kate? I'm sure Ada's pasted a photograph of someone's actual hair, and then just squiggled a few brown lines over it.

That or, worse still, she has a specific talent for photorealistic drawing of Kate Middleton's hair, and Kate Middleton's hair only.

My god, that's creepy. Looking at the Look Inside! thing on Amazon it would appear that it's Photoshopped-in real hair all the way through the book, for both Kate and Puhppah. One of her other books has Camilla's hair also Photoshopped in on the cover. Maybe she has a blind spot for women's hair- or maybe it's a bit of satire highlighting the royals' laziness...

That sure as hell aint Wills' real hair- and no, I can't be arsed to Photoshop the actual royal dome in.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 11, 2018, 02:57:49 AM
Horrible

Came in expecting a blue surgical glove, delighted and surprised by the Fiat. Many doubleplusgood carma
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 03:25:11 PM
That creepy little man and the other regular royal freaks have set up camp outside the Lindo Wing:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/first-eager-royal-fans-set-12344361

(https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article12344376.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/PAY-Royal-watcher-Terry-Hutt.jpg)

Cunts need graving... and they should try camping outside the church ahead of the Bants-Syoots merger- along with any homeless people in the area, they'd get fined £100 and moved on.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on April 12, 2018, 03:27:05 PM
I refuse to believe those people are real.

Also the arrival of a new baby in that family is genuinely news to me. I feel like this is a massive personal victory.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 03:35:33 PM
Look at the state of those signs, that's some primary school-level shit right there. Have none of them heard of Photoshop? GIMP is free, you gimps. Draw a proper sign and you can Moonpig that shit right up and get it on a nice big glossy bit of card. Fuck it- send your .jpeg to James Middleton and he'll print it on a giant fucking marshmallow.

Poor sods must have no idea of the degree of sheer sneering contempt Wills and Kate must be feeling for them. For once I don't blame them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 12, 2018, 03:36:05 PM
Criminals - arrest, detain, question, charge, try, convict, sentence, imprison

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 12, 2018, 03:36:12 PM
That creepy little man and the other regular royal freaks have set up camp outside the Lindo Wing:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/first-eager-royal-fans-set-12344361

(https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article12344376.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/PAY-Royal-watcher-Terry-Hutt.jpg)

Cunts need graving... and they should try camping outside the church ahead of the Bants-Syoots merger- along with any homeless people in the area, they'd get fined £100 and moved on.

The way the site is set up, I thought this picture
(https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article12344347.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/Royal-fans-starts-to-camp-outside-StMarys-Hospital-for-the-birth-of-the-Royal-baby.jpg)

and this headline were related

Quote
Telford girl raped by nine men in single night says abusers 'queued on stairs'
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 03:39:32 PM
I refuse to believe those people are real.

I wonder if they're actually employed by Kensington Palace to turn up and pretend to give a shit.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on April 12, 2018, 03:44:21 PM
Also the arrival of a new baby in that family is genuinely news to me. I feel like this is a massive personal victory.

Same here! I figured out that was a hospital and my first thought was that they might be waiting for Phil to cark it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on April 12, 2018, 03:44:44 PM
I wonder if they're actually employed by Kensington Palace to turn up and pretend to give a shit.

I hope so. People say "We can't criticise North Korea. Look at these tossers going to catch a glimpse of the Royal Family!" but it's worse than North Korea because no one is actually telling them to go and camp outside a hospital. They have, apparently, just decided to go and do this.

Same here! I figured out that was a hospital and my first thought was that they might be waiting for Phil to cark it.

What I assumed also!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on April 12, 2018, 03:45:15 PM
(Removed by request)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 03:47:11 PM
WHO MIGHT THE THIRD ROYAL HELLSPAWN SHARE ITS HATCHING DAY WITH?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5596043/Mother-reveals-REALLY-like-birth-Lindo-Wing.html

Quote
April 20 - Adolf Hitler, TV presenter Peter Snow, actor Ryan O'Neal.
April 21 - The Queen, Iggy Pop, Princess Isabella of Denmark, The Cure's Robert Smith.

Both Adolf Hitler and The Queen would be very funny.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 03:48:37 PM
Same here! I figured out that was a hospital and my first thought was that they might be waiting for Phil to cark it.

When Phil The Greek is about to cark it I actually will be camped outside the hospital, with a magnum of champagne and a massive bag of popcorn.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 12, 2018, 03:52:00 PM
Same here! I figured out that was a hospital and my first thought was that they might be waiting for Phil to cark it.

Why can't it be both?

Maybe they're just incubating a new host for Philip, like in The Manitou.

Meanwhile, have been over here in the US for a few days, and first time I went out to the supermarket to get my Nutter Butters, I realised why my mother asks me about the royal family all the time; their mugs are plastered on like every mag and scandal sheet paper in the checkout lines.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 03:55:40 PM
Why can't it be both?

Maybe they're just incubating a new host for Philip, like in The Manitou.

Wouldn't it be funny if Phil carked it just as The Baby of Death III hatched and his spirit was passed on and then BoDIII's first word was something horribly racist?

Of course, it's first word probably will be something horribly racist in any case...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on April 12, 2018, 04:01:26 PM
Yes, let’s get both events out the way together.

Firstly it means there aren’t two separate dates where the royals dominate all media so it can all be got out the way concurrently. Secondly you have said media tying itself in knots trying to celebrate a new parasite on the nation’s income while also pretending to mourn the death of another.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 12, 2018, 04:03:18 PM
Wouldn't it be funny if Phil carked it just as The Baby of Death III hatched and his spirit was passed on and then BoDIII's first word was something horribly racist?



I'm counting on it, esp if they decide to bring the baby to the merger (pushed in a novelty Fiat-shaped pram).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 12, 2018, 04:04:52 PM
That creepy little man and the other regular royal freaks have set up camp outside the Lindo Wing:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/first-eager-royal-fans-set-12344361

(https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article12344376.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/PAY-Royal-watcher-Terry-Hutt.jpg)

I also had to look up what these fuckwits were queuing for.
Which is pleasing.

At first I thought, 'it's harmless enough, let them get on with it'. 
But it's not, as it perpetuates the idea that these Royal inbred cunts are worthy of our attention and praise.
Fuck them all to death.

When Phil The Greek is about to cark it I actually will be camped outside the hospital, with a magnum of champagne and a massive bag of popcorn.
I like the idea of waiting outside a hospital and cheering at the news of Phillip's death.
Give me a call, I'll join you and bring some party hats and squeakers.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on April 12, 2018, 04:16:39 PM
Look at the state of those signs, that's some primary school-level shit right there. Have none of them heard of Photoshop? GIMP is free, you gimps. Draw a proper sign and you can Moonpig that shit right up and get it on a nice big glossy bit of card. Fuck it- send your .jpeg to James Middleton and he'll print it on a giant fucking marshmallow

I reckon you could 3D-print a royal baby out of marshmallow mixture and no-one would know the difference.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 04:29:21 PM
I reckon you could 3D-print a royal baby out of marshmallow mixture and no-one would know the difference.

(https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/qGnxF0zY.NsnX26OyPnZsg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTU0Ny4zODA2MDc4MTQ3NjEy/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/xaxoBoxlwF_XdGTcuAslUw--~B/aD01OTE7dz02OTE7c209MTthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/http://36.media.tumblr.com/7b0080741e1e6f03121f51f4174f8f1b/tumblr_inline_nxjss0DeoA1tcrts4_1280.jpg)

Good point.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 12, 2018, 04:33:29 PM
My mad Anglophile pal (the one with the Big Ben tower-shaped tea pot and that) is 10 feet away from me. I'd show her this thread, but I don't want to deal with the fallout.

So which would make Prince Damien more cross -- a brother or a sister? If he gets a brother, it could be Bants 2.0
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 12, 2018, 06:39:49 PM
(https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/qGnxF0zY.NsnX26OyPnZsg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTU0Ny4zODA2MDc4MTQ3NjEy/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/xaxoBoxlwF_XdGTcuAslUw--~B/aD01OTE7dz02OTE7c209MTthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/http://36.media.tumblr.com/7b0080741e1e6f03121f51f4174f8f1b/tumblr_inline_nxjss0DeoA1tcrts4_1280.jpg)

Good point.

do you think one would get arrested for kicking that little fella to the ground (the left one).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 12, 2018, 06:40:35 PM

So which would make Prince Damien more cross -- a brother or a sister? If he gets a brother, it could be Bants 2.0

I was going to say, no bloodline, but remembered Kate's Uncle is Lower-class Bants.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2018, 06:50:04 PM
I reckon Uncle Legend Gary could easily drink/smoke/snort Harry under the table. I'd keep him and his fists well away from Syoots though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 18, 2018, 08:13:42 AM
It's the end of an era... RIP Willow Windsor, last royal corgi/four-legged Bond girl:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5627361/Queen-hit-extremely-hard-death-corgi-devoted-companion-Willow.html

Even the royal doggos have a good innings... mostly:

Quote
They haven’t all had long lives, however. In 2003, Pharos was savaged by Princess Anne’s bull terrier Dotty and had to be put down. And in 1989 the Queen Mother’s dog Ranger led a pack of corgis that killed Chipper, the Queen’s favourite dorgi.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 18, 2018, 10:24:21 AM
Quote
Queen Mother’s dog Ranger led a pack of corgis that killed Chipper, the Queen’s favourite dorgi.

Surprised that the Queen Mum's dog would be so into racial purity. Bet the rallies it held in the run up to the cleansing were a sight to see.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 18, 2018, 10:35:13 AM
I love doggos so I shouldn't be amused by these tales of royal doggo in-fighting, but I can't help it. It's like something from The Day Today.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 18, 2018, 02:31:43 PM
My fave part of that DM article was the mention of the corgis knocking Paul Burrell unconscious on one occasion when the dogs 'tripped him up.' I wonder if they were driving pedal-operated Fiats at the time.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on April 18, 2018, 02:48:42 PM


Surprised that the Queen Mum's dog would be so into racial purity. Bet the rallies it held in the run up to the cleansing were a sight to see.

Slightly off topic, but someone once alerted me to the fun you can have by google image searching for 'corgi crossed with' and the name of any other dog breed. Quite a good illustration of how genes work. They're all stumpy-legged, big-headed versions of the second dog type. Pathetic and hilarious in roughly equal measures.

Corgis are little bastards though.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 18, 2018, 03:35:28 PM
^ I have actually already done that- it's even more fun than searching for crossbreeds of sausage dogs. Corgi crosses all look like a corgi in disguise as the other dog breed- it's like all corgi genes are dominant.

I love this detail from the Daily Heil article:

Quote
In 2015 it emerged that she had stopped breeding Pembroke Welsh corgis because of fears that, with younger dogs around her feet, she might trip over and hurt herself.

I am aware that corgis are notorious trip hazards, but imagine if the Queen died after tripping over a corgi- how hilariously apt would that be? It would be like Prince Philip being killed by a spear chucker or Prince William dying of baldness.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on April 18, 2018, 03:44:48 PM
Or prince George dying of disdain
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 18, 2018, 03:58:36 PM
Going off-topic again, I prefer Cardigan Corgis to Pembroke Corgis. One of my neighbours has one and she has the stumpiest legs in the entire world, combined with a facial expression that says "NAE FUCKS GIVEN". Seeing her scuttling about on her tiny legs always brightens my day. She's ace.

This is fun though- Pembroke Corgi:

(http://c-6rtwjumjzx7877x24his7-bbbx2eitlynrjx2ehtr.g00.dogtime.com/g00/3_c-6itlynrj.htr_/c-6RTWJUMJZX77x24myyux3ax2fx2fhis7-bbb.itlynrj.htrx2ffx78x78jyx78x2fzuqtfix78x2f7566x2f56x2fknqj_78647_ujrgwtpj-bjqx78m-htwln-915c745.oulx3fn65h.rfwpx3dnrflj_$/$/$/$/$/$)

Cardigan Corgi:

(http://c-6rtwjumjzx7877x24his6-bbbx2eitlynrjx2ehtr.g00.dogtime.com/g00/3_c-6itlynrj.htr_/c-6RTWJUMJZX77x24myyux3ax2fx2fhis6-bbb.itlynrj.htrx2ffx78x78jyx78x2fzuqtfix78x2f7566x2f66x2fknqj_78749_hfwinlfs-bjqx78m-htwln-915c745.oulx3fn65h.rfwpx3dnrflj_$/$/$/$/$/$)

Pembroke-Cardigan cross:

(http://i66.tinypic.com/nn5fzb.jpg)

I'd suspect these Corgo-crosses were all photoshops if I hadn't seen a Corgi-Border Collie in real life...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: machotrouts on April 18, 2018, 03:59:28 PM
Slightly off topic, but someone once alerted me to the fun you can have by google image searching for 'corgi crossed with' and the name of any other dog breed. Quite a good illustration of how genes work. They're all stumpy-legged, big-headed versions of the second dog type...

...by the time I'm done with them
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: bgmnts on April 18, 2018, 04:16:18 PM
Is it illegal to call the queen a cunt to her face?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 18, 2018, 04:43:17 PM
Is it illegal to call the queen a cunt to her face?

I don't know, but that was always my plan if ever I get an MBE.

Though my chances may have dropped a bit now.  :(
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Crabwalk on April 18, 2018, 04:55:02 PM
(https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/qGnxF0zY.NsnX26OyPnZsg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTU0Ny4zODA2MDc4MTQ3NjEy/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/xaxoBoxlwF_XdGTcuAslUw--~B/aD01OTE7dz02OTE7c209MTthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/http://36.media.tumblr.com/7b0080741e1e6f03121f51f4174f8f1b/tumblr_inline_nxjss0DeoA1tcrts4_1280.jpg)


'When the acting work dried up, the Trainspotting baby reinvented himself as a royal tribute act.'

(https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KfhGpbJ-c8A/Umkis1O1aiI/AAAAAAABG2U/czj3bwe42AM/s1600/trainspotting_baby-1024x564.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on April 18, 2018, 05:09:09 PM
My god there are four of those fucking royal baby picture books. Are they licensed? If not then well, I suppose kudos to making money from fucking idiots.

Maybe Kate could sue on copyright of her hair.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 18, 2018, 05:11:26 PM
MORE CORGO COVERAGE:

The Queen's corgis are dead: long live the 'dorgis' (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/apr/18/the-queens-corgis-are-dead-long-live-the-dorgis)

Nice headline... Admit it, The Graun, you lefty republicans are treating this royal snuffing as a dress rehearsal- and loving it...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: biggytitbo on April 18, 2018, 05:26:10 PM
I'd forgotten these wastrels were birthing another wretched  creature, whats the point of having a third one, itll be a  Prince Edward, doomed to amateur dramatics and failed business ventures.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 18, 2018, 06:27:11 PM
Prince/ss Spare II. Even more pointless than Princess Combover. Poor sod.

How are these twats getting on?

(https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article12344376.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/PAY-Royal-watcher-Terry-Hutt.jpg)

Anyone else think that KATE, PLEASE DON'T KEEP US WAITING!!! sign is more than a little rude? I may not be her biggest fan and I may have no experience of dropping a sprog, but I can still appreciate that giving birth is hard enough without some creepy little stranger going "FOR FUCK'S SAKE GET ON WITH IT AND SHOOT IT OUT YER CHUFF, I'M GETTING COLD AND RUNNING OUT OF POPCORN HERE"?

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on April 19, 2018, 01:06:13 PM
These cunts are much worse than the court of the Cunt itself. None of the Royal Family asked to do what they do. It's lickspittle cunts who keep up the whole farce.

When Charles declines the line of succession to become an imam, anyone with a commemorative mug will be sentenced to death.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on April 19, 2018, 07:13:23 PM
Charles in "being a racist cunt" shocker: https://www.theguardian.com/world/commentisfree/2018/apr/19/prince-charles-brown-skin-british-people-head-of-commonwealth

Quote
I shook the prince’s hand with my right hand. In my other, I was holding a copy of an anthology, We Mark Your Memory: Writing from the Descendants of Indenture, in which I have an essay published. I told him that my mother was born in Guyana and that the anthology had collected hidden histories of indenture.

“And where are you from?” asked the prince.

“Manchester, UK,” I said.

“Well, you don’t look like it!” he said, and laughed. He was then ushered on to the next person.

Although I have experienced such off-the-cuff, supposedly humorous, comments before, I was stunned by the gaffe.

The Royals standing up for British values once again.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 19, 2018, 08:06:25 PM
"GAFFE" - the go to word for Royal Racism.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on April 19, 2018, 09:05:33 PM
Maybe he thought she didn't look like she came from Manchester because she lacked the standard issue baggy clothes, bucket hat, inflatable banana, dilated pupils and grinding jaw?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 20, 2018, 10:13:45 AM
It's fairly low-level racism, but yeah he's still a cunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 20, 2018, 12:49:47 PM
Odd, given the outcry at even the most innocuous jibe at a minority, that this is thought of as only low-level racism. I thought there were all these hashtag movements that got riled up about low-level hatred.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on April 20, 2018, 01:45:20 PM
Prince Chuckles to be the next head of The Commonwealth. The position didn’t automatically go to the next British monarch, but agreement has been reached that Charles will take over when the CoD returns to the mothership.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 20, 2018, 02:08:41 PM
Odd, given the outcry at even the most innocuous jibe at a minority, that this is thought of as only low-level racism.

Well, that's only my opinion.

There are levels of racism aren't there.  Chris Rock does a bit on this.
There's taking the piss out of someone's accent on one end of the racism scale.  Then there's genocide on the other end.

Charles is an old-fashioned, insensitive cunt, but it's not that racist.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 20, 2018, 02:11:05 PM
Well, that's only my opinion.

There are levels of racism aren't there.  Chris Rock does a bit on this.
There's taking the piss out of someone's accent on one end of the racism scale.  Then there's genocide on the other end.

Charles is an old-fashioned, insensitive cunt, but it's not that racist.

Quote
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

degrees above that include physical assault, murder, ethnic-cleansing and genocide, which are not racism but are motivated by racism in some cases.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on April 20, 2018, 02:12:40 PM
Charles is an old-fashioned, insensitive cunt, but it's not that racist.

Saying that someone "doesn't look like they're from Manchester" presumably because of their skin colour is pretty racist, I'd say. Unless Charles is stuck in some alternative version of reality where black people have not existed and grew up in Britain.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on April 20, 2018, 02:58:17 PM
Persumably (and I am the last person in the world who will defend the jug-eared parasitic balls-for-brains hypocrite), the meeting took place in the context of a gathering of people from all around the world. Coupled with the quaint idea he probably has that the episode of Coronation Street he saw in 1974 was a documentary, could allow you to draw the conclusion that he's just out of touch.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 20, 2018, 03:25:50 PM
Saying that someone "doesn't look like they're from Manchester" presumably because of their skin colour is pretty racist, I'd say. Unless Charles is stuck in some alternative version of reality where black people have not existed and grew up in Britain.

Well if he was trying to be racist he should try harder and learn a thing or two from his Dad.

But aren't we all being the racists, with our incandescent hatred of the Windsors?
Ahhh...

(no)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on April 20, 2018, 04:08:28 PM
Oh wait that was Charles?! I automatically assumed it was Philip!

At least there'll be some continuity when the current pair finally do one.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 20, 2018, 04:12:27 PM
What would happen if Charles greeted an important African noble by calling them a dirty, man-eating, bone-nosed, golly from bongo-bongo land. Do you think he would still be King?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 20, 2018, 04:39:49 PM
He'd probably be voted out of the house for that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on April 20, 2018, 05:23:41 PM
Queen thinks she can advise on the constitution now. I hope to see a campaign that we, the people, who are sovereign, will decide who is Head of the Commonwealth with a referendum.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 20, 2018, 05:48:37 PM
Predatory Paedophile's legendary wit was scultped through years of having to greet people for the first time.

He was full of zingers - some outrageously un-PC

"Anyone can bake bread you surplus mong"
"Don't look at me like that you ovoid"
"Well get you down there in that cart, what do you want, a medal"
"If I worked at Tunnocks I would top myself on principle"
"I could have you crushed tonight - think about that"
"The most hideous of the thousands of hideous disabled people I have met"
"Italy is a toilet meaning you came from a toilet"
"Driving a van saying police on it is deeply unimpressive"
"You aren't even going to live to half my age - pause and reflect"
"How does it feel to be inferior to me?"
"We had an old saying for people like you - stab all pakis"
"If you're looking for praise fuck off back to nursery you sheep shagging drain"
"Interesting belm you do, entered any competitions?"
"Tie my shoes or die today"
"I already erased you from my memory and we haven't even met"
"I value women as cooks and cleaners"
"Your life would be nothing were it not for this moment, whereas conversely this means precisely zero to me"
"'i'm going to look at that wall for a bit, goodbye"
"Ever fucked a 13 year old girl? I have"
"I've just ordered your annihilation, goodbye"
"Fucking hell. What's this??"
"Interesting fucking pile of shit you have made, really"
"Dustbuster?!"
"Is this the anus faced worm my advisors warned me about"
"You're doing very well considering you're Chinese"
"Ah this is a hospice? Excellent, I was rather hoping you were due to die"

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 20, 2018, 05:52:40 PM
Predatory Paedophile's legendary wit was scultped through years of having to greet people for the first time.

He was full of zingers - some outrageously un-PC

"Anyone can bake bread you surplus mong"
"Don't look at me like that you ovoid"
"Well get you down there in that cart, what do you want, a medal"
"If I worked at Tunnocks I would top myself on principle"
"I could have you crushed tonight - think about that"
"The most hideous of the thousands of hideous disabled people I have met"
"Italy is a toilet meaning you came from a toilet"
"Driving a van saying police on it is deeply unimpressive"
"You aren't even going to live to half my age - pause and reflect"
"How does it feel to be inferior to me?"
"We had an old saying for people like you - stab all pakis"
"If you're looking for praise fuck off back to nursery you sheep shagging drain"
"Interesting belm you do, entered any competitions?"
"Tie my shoes or die today"
"I already erased you from my memory and we haven't even met"
"I value women as cooks and cleaners"
"Your life would be nothing were it not for this moment, whereas conversely this means precisely zero to me"
"'i'm going to look at that wall for a bit, goodbye"
"Ever fucked a 13 year old girl? I have"
"I've just ordered your annihilation, goodbye"
"Fucking hell. What's this??"
"Interesting fucking pile of shit you have made, really"
"Dustbuster?!"
"Is this the anus faced worm my advisors warned me about"
"You're doing very well considering you're Chinese"
"Ah this is a hospice? Excellent, I was rather hoping you were due to die"

Gold, Jackie, that is Gold.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 20, 2018, 05:54:58 PM
"Duke of Rutland? A distant cousin of The Family, you say? I suppose I do need a new foot stool"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: ziggy starbucks on April 20, 2018, 06:00:31 PM
what a tragedy it would be if the british royal family were all shot dead and buried in some woods

I would hate that and be very sad
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 20, 2018, 06:05:16 PM
#noPhilter
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 22, 2018, 03:28:57 PM
Right, I've been out of the loop the past few days, and will be in transit doing the whole red-eye thing and that today and tomorrow, but weren't the latest Damienettes due to drop in today (according to all of the fine US tabloids, it's twins).

Like, have all of those mad people been camping out in front of the hospital for, what, about 10 days now, or something?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 22, 2018, 03:58:51 PM
have all of those mad people been camping out in front of the hospital for, what, about 10 days now, or something?

I was just wondering about this- specifically, I was wondering if that creepy little man and those dotty old dears had all died, but I think they got there long after The Beast From The East.

Just waiting for The Beast From Kate's Fanny now.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 22, 2018, 09:37:37 PM
perhaps a tragedy has occurred
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 23, 2018, 08:46:08 AM
SPAAAAAWWWWWWN:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43862360
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 23, 2018, 01:56:59 PM
SPAAAAAWWWWWWN:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43862360

I missed all of the anticipation, being somewhere over the Atlantic during the festivities.

Now, how long before Prince Damien establishes the Pugsley/Pubert relationship?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 23, 2018, 08:42:20 PM
"Thrice the worry"


FUCK OFF AND ALL DIE
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 23, 2018, 09:28:04 PM
Now, how long before Prince Damien establishes the Pugsley/Pubert relationship?

When Bants and Syoots have a sprog it can be Ginger Pubert.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: ziggy starbucks on April 23, 2018, 09:46:19 PM
GOD BLESS IT
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 23, 2018, 10:09:07 PM
I missed all of the anticipation, being somewhere over the Atlantic during the festivities

Just make sure you're around when Puhppah drops her sprog. She let slip the news of the pregnancy on the day her sister gave birth because she's classy like that:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/pippa-middleton-pregnant-first-child-12405551
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 23, 2018, 10:56:20 PM
Just make sure you're around when Puhppah drops her sprog. She let slip the news of the pregnancy on the day her sister gave birth because she's classy like that:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/pippa-middleton-pregnant-first-child-12405551

That's ages away, tho -- and I should be around for the Bants-Syoots merger. Still wondering what Prince Philip has up his sleeve for the magical day.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 23, 2018, 11:01:08 PM
That's ages away, tho -- and I should be around for the Bants-Syoots merger. Still wondering what Prince Philip has up his sleeve for the magical day.
A skeletal arm.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 23, 2018, 11:02:05 PM
After his recent hip surgery, is he now walking with a stick? He's probably tipped it with ricin.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 24, 2018, 06:45:40 PM
A skeletal arm.

Fair enough, but whose?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 12:00:59 PM
BREAKING NEWS apparently:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43905474
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: bgmnts on April 26, 2018, 12:03:19 PM
Why arent any of them dying?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 12:12:37 PM
Why arent any of them dying?

(http://i.imgur.com/vTCincg.jpg) (https://imgur.com/vTCincg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 26, 2018, 12:34:13 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5626371/Why-royal-baby-number-three-different.html

Quote
Why royal baby number three will be different...

It has twelve toes and a trunk?

Quote
Kate is set to stay out of the limelight to bond with the new arrival after returning to work 'too soon' after having George and Charlotte

Kate, 36, is set to extend her maternity leave from royal duties until the Autumn

AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 12:36:54 PM
KEEP WRAPPING
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 12:38:42 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5626371/Why-royal-baby-number-three-different.html

It has twelve toes and a trunk?

AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH...

Why royal baby #3 will be different

(http://i.imgur.com/j1xo98s.jpg) (https://imgur.com/j1xo98s)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 26, 2018, 01:38:04 PM
Not clicking that Daily Mail link, but the URL pissed me off enough.

What is this 'work' that Kate returned to?  I must have missed the story about when she became a chartered accountant.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on April 26, 2018, 01:43:54 PM
Why arent any of them dying?

Because the sacrifice is only required every 25 years, so the next one isn't due until 2022. They might have to finally make it Philip so as to not arouse too much suspicion, but if I was Meghan Markle I wouldn't be getting on any planes that year.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on April 26, 2018, 02:09:09 PM
As someone in a trans-Atlantic marriage myself, I look forward to seeing how Hazza and Markle demonstrate they’ve been living together for “at least 2 years” before applying for a 2.5 year visa for her. Of course they haven’t, so they can’t. How has the Daily Mail overlooked this?! Bloody immigrants.

They’ll obviously both need to submit their earning forms for the last few years to prove self-sufficiency, pay the fee, and if all goes well she’ll be eligible to apply for a visa extension after the first 2.5 years and be eligible to apply for indefinite leave to remain in 2024, assuming it is granted sometime in 2025.

Assuming she passes the tests, all her paperwork is completed on time, the Home Office don’t get confused and lose her application, and she stays in work for the time between now and 2028, she could be eligible for citizenship as early as 2030.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 02:36:26 PM
As someone in a trans-Atlantic marriage myself, I look forward to seeing how Hazza and Markle demonstrate they’ve been living together for “at least 2 years” before applying for a 2.5 year visa for her. Of course they haven’t, so they can’t. How has the Daily Mail overlooked this?! Bloody immigrants.

They’ll obviously both need to submit their earning forms for the last few years to prove self-sufficiency, pay the fee, and if all goes well she’ll be eligible to apply for a visa extension after the first 2.5 years and be eligible to apply for indefinite leave to remain in 2024, assuming it is granted sometime in 2025.

Assuming she passes the tests, all her paperwork is completed on time, the Home Office don’t get confused and lose her application, and she stays in work for the time between now and 2028, she could be eligible for citizenship as early as 2030.

I'm that half of the transatlanic two-step myself, and, yeah...exactly. Thank fuck I got in (har!) in 2012 just before the Home Office changed the rules from 2 years to 5 years of marriage before qualifying for LTR, and then another year before hitting up citizenship.

Colo(u)r me amazed when all of  paperwork, fees, and assorted wank is all waived away as a piffling trifle for Syoots and Bants.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on April 26, 2018, 03:46:15 PM
It actually makes me legitimately very angry. Especially as I’ve been on the receiving end (and would be again, if we considered moving back to the UK). Seeing some other privileged wankers skip the queue with no repercussions is frustrating.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 26, 2018, 04:09:30 PM
Partly the reason my marriage has suddenly collapsed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 05:17:57 PM
It actually makes me legitimately very angry. Especially as I’ve been on the receiving end (and would be again, if we considered moving back to the UK). Seeing some other privileged wankers skip the queue with no repercussions is frustrating.

Exactly.

When I was back in the US earlier this month, I had more than one person ask me if I were excited to see a fellow American marrying a prince.

Leaving aside all of the usual pisstake comments that leap to mind whenever my Anglophile pals gush about that nest of scroungers, anger/annoyance pretty much is my first response, considering what I went through. It's not only the cost, time, stress, and endless faff (the goalposts for immigration, costs, and requirements constantly moved through the entire process; there's no grandfathering in anywhere whenever they change the damned rules), but also that I was treated like a criminal/with disdain/with rudeness at every step of the way.

Not by friends or colleagues -- they were all lovely and supportive. Even the guys at Heathrow when I had to get the magic stamp on my original visa, the one that starts the countdown of the 18 mons (two years my arse) towards the LTR application were great: it was at a 6am arrival, and the guy stamping passports called over a couple of colleagues to watch. He made a really tidy, clear entry stamp, and they all wished me well, quite chuffed about it. (Unlike the dickheads on the Gare du Nord side of Eurostar -- despite having my LTR card, I got shit every time I travelled back through there by the UK guards working the border, questioned about my passport and card, accused of it being fake, how did I get it, if it was part of a marriage visa why wasn't I travelling with my husband, &c).

Every jobsworth I had to deal with from the Home Office bods, the citizenship test examiners, the final interview officials in South Croydon, through to the demifuckwit in my local PO when I was finally able to apply for my passport -- really went out of their way to make me feel like shit and guilty every time I moved up another step on the ladder towards citizenship.

Apologies for the rant -- it still winds me up (obviously!) And it winds me up that Syoots will just sail through the process without any of that shit.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 26, 2018, 05:24:53 PM
You'll probably know then - am I basically invalidating my wife's visa by living in Canada and she living in the UK, she's on the second 2.5 years part before applying for PLR, but we both got prestigious academic fellowships and the fuck was I going to give up that (this is why the marriage looks like its over now). My argument would be - yes, we're supposed to live together, but as you can see we're not layabouts cheating the system, we have to think of our careers too, and my fellowship is complete before the 5 year period is up. (my request for information on this point from the Gov was met with stony silence, so I was told by various people on immigration forums that it would be fine and put career over family).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 06:16:38 PM
Absolutely, yes, go for your fellowship -- I do not work for the gov't and I am not an immigration lawyer, so cannot give you advice *except* to suggest that you (or your wife, who is still in the UK) speak with a family lawyer who specialises in immigration, at least for a consultation to find out what effect your fellowship might have on your marriage.

As you guys know, the gov websites are fucking useless, and info that you need is either hidden or not available. Immigration messageboards will only add to your stress (as either everyone has a fantastic, unrealistic success story, or they post the worst possible scenario/experience possible). Plus it's rare that you'd find someone in your exact situation at this exact time and exact position -- every case is going to be unique, and what works for one couple might not be the best for another.

There's no way I would have got through the process without the lawyer -- since you've obviously got past some of the difficult hurdles, what you guys pretty much just need now is advice to keep everything from falling apart. I can recommend an excellent legal firm in London if you like -- send me a PM if you like, and I'll dig up their details. They should be able to do a session or two with you if all you want is advice.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 26, 2018, 06:40:42 PM
Thanks Attila, well we are too far down the road, I've been here a year now. I basically said I'm not willing to give up this golden opportunity to be jobless back in the UK (i.e. both of us jobless, she wants to live in London ONLY). She said my life was over, I'm old, bald, fat, ugly and useless, so I may as well give up. I have a dreaded WhatsApp call later for her to turn the screw and dig those nails deeper.

The "legal" advice I will be seeking may not be visa related, after all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 26, 2018, 07:34:05 PM
I am sorry to hear that, Mr B.

Let's find some distraction in this image of modern day Laocoon's sons

(http://i.imgur.com/1PiR7Wo.jpg) (https://imgur.com/1PiR7Wo)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 26, 2018, 09:32:27 PM
Dammit Syoots, stop pissing off all the right people and making me actually like you:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ann-widdecombe-meghan-markle-lgbt-rights-prince-harry-royal-wedding-a8323486.html
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 30, 2018, 11:31:06 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43941624
Quote
The BBC has waived the TV licence fee for communities wanting to watch Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding.

It means street parties and other special events can screen the wedding live without buying a licence.

Of thank you soooo much! Letting little old us have the privilege of seeing some rich people sort out their inheritance arrangements, live on TV, as a community.

Luckily, I happen to live on a street where nobody gives a fuck. What are the odds?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on April 30, 2018, 12:14:07 PM
Imagine your street having a party for this.

A thermonuclear bomb would be too quick a death for the cunts residing on it. Something very slow and painful is what they'd deserve.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on April 30, 2018, 12:27:04 PM
Is the BBC waiving the license fee for street parties for the wedding because...literally no-one is having a street party for the wedding.

A fucking street party? Is it 1953?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 30, 2018, 12:48:09 PM
Is the BBC waiving the license fee for street parties for the wedding because...literally no-one is having a street party for the wedding.

A fucking street party? Is it 1953?

When is this wedding?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 30, 2018, 01:08:54 PM
19 May - same day as the FA Cup final, the Scottish Cup final, and something called the Super League's Magic Weekend (rugby, apparently)

Great day to go visit some popular attractions.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on April 30, 2018, 01:54:32 PM
As someone in a trans-Atlantic marriage myself, I look forward to seeing how Hazza and Markle demonstrate they’ve been living together for “at least 2 years” before applying for a 2.5 year visa for her. Of course they haven’t, so they can’t. How has the Daily Mail overlooked this?! Bloody immigrants.

They’ll obviously both need to submit their earning forms for the last few years to prove self-sufficiency, pay the fee, and if all goes well she’ll be eligible to apply for a visa extension after the first 2.5 years and be eligible to apply for indefinite leave to remain in 2024, assuming it is granted sometime in 2025.

Assuming she passes the tests, all her paperwork is completed on time, the Home Office don’t get confused and lose her application, and she stays in work for the time between now and 2028, she could be eligible for citizenship as early as 2030.

I'm sure when the engagement was announced there was something about her paperwork being fast-tracked (and almost definitely mostly completed by someone else anyway) as once they were married she'd be moving to England (well durrr). I can't remember exactly what was said but it was basically exactly what you and others suspect, she'll be a British citizen before the ink's even dry on the marriage certificate and some lackey will be filling out the tedious paperwork with one hand and stamping it approved with the other. 
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: dr beat on April 30, 2018, 01:58:37 PM
something called the Super League's Magic Weekend (rugby, apparently)



Yes a whole load of rugby league matches back to back in Newcastle.  I'm going on the Saturday and glad of the escape from the nuptials.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Gulftastic on April 30, 2018, 02:37:12 PM
Yes a whole load of rugby league matches back to back in Newcastle.  I'm going on the Saturday and glad of the escape from the nuptials.

Me too, Dr. We will spend at least a couple of hours in pubs before going into the ground. At least the plethora of events mean we might be able to avoid the Bread & Circuses quite easily.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on April 30, 2018, 03:20:14 PM
My brother-in-law’s street did a street party for William and Kate, but it did feel like just an excuse for a party.

Anyway, if they’re not giving us a day off then they can stick it up their arses.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: idunnosomename on April 30, 2018, 04:43:41 PM
what wedding. who are these "royal family". what's a britain.

more next week on CUNK ON BRITAIN
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 30, 2018, 05:24:45 PM
I avoided the last royal wedding by going for a very long bike ride along the south bank of the Thames. I figured I'd be alone, as I was when I went shopping at an eerily deserted Camden Market during the CoDmother's funeral, but there were plenty of drivers and cyclists about, plus lots of couples who had decided to have a nice picnic rather than sit indoors watching telly. I passed one very small street party which was really just a pub which had put up some bunting, and two pubs which had the coverage on, judging by the church organ music blaring out of their doors.

I had also looked into booking a cheap weekend away only to find that loads of easyJet flights were fully booked for that weekend, or that all the cheap tickets had gone. It looked like a lot of people had had the same idea as me.

No-one gave a fuck about the heir then and no-one will give a fuck about the spare now...

I'm not joining Mr Jam for Magic Weekend this year as I badly need to save some cash, so I might go and hike up Arthur's Seat, then find a pub with no telly but which has wifi so I can enjoy the CaB thread. I'd be tempted to join a hatewatchalong with all the other CaB Royal Family Bullshit Watchers, but I just won't be able to hack the BBC's obligatory fawning, sorry.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 30, 2018, 05:41:16 PM
Princess Anne is visiting my workplace again tomorrow. There's no escaping her round these parts. Massive disruption, oh joy.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 30, 2018, 09:36:11 PM
I imagine pubs full of people who never go to pubs but pretending as though by this one moment they are at one with the community, the glue in the social fabric.


FUCK OFF YOU'RE NOT SO FUCK OFF
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 30, 2018, 09:41:39 PM
Yes a whole load of rugby league matches back to back in Newcastle.  I'm going on the Saturday and glad of the escape from the nuptials.

I'll be in Newcastle then.

TOON MEET!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 01, 2018, 08:16:30 AM
I figured I'd be alone, as I was when I went shopping at an eerily deserted Camden Market during the CoDmother's funeral,


Hallo, that was me, except I was messing about in the Portobello Rd during the funeral. :)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: iamcoop on May 01, 2018, 12:03:15 PM
I'll be in Newcastle then.

TOON MEET!

;)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 04, 2018, 04:37:59 PM
The Duke of Edinburgh will attend!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44005044

So Syoot's old dad is going to meet the in-laws and that for the first time when he flies over next week.

(http://i.imgur.com/oIK6a6vm.jpg) (https://imgur.com/oIK6a6v)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on May 04, 2018, 04:42:50 PM
BREAKING NEWS: THE ROYAL FAMILY HAVE ALL BEEN BRUTALLY MURDERED.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on May 05, 2018, 10:59:08 AM
BREAKING NEWS: THE ROYAL FAMILY HAVE ALL BEEN BRUTALLY MURDERED.

So, do we get a day off or what?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: machotrouts on May 06, 2018, 05:42:54 AM
OMG!!! We ADORE these new pictures of baby Prince Louis!

(https://i.imgur.com/s8WpcOx.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/lGNim6y.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on May 06, 2018, 12:03:38 PM
(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/320/cpsprodpb/0422/production/_101185010_c3b81317-3fae-470a-9748-4fde73b99219.jpg)
"I know it was you, Louis. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 06, 2018, 12:31:25 PM
Louis, the epitome of head in the sand divorced from reality fuck up of a name there is.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 06, 2018, 12:32:40 PM
Looks dead. Like well dead.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 06, 2018, 01:34:10 PM
No need for the photoshopping, the original is frightening enough:

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/2B32/production/_101185011_bbb7705a-b960-42b7-b084-837b5b950c0a.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: thraxx on May 06, 2018, 01:38:56 PM
No need for the photoshopping, the original is frightening enough:

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/2B32/production/_101185011_bbb7705a-b960-42b7-b084-837b5b950c0a.jpg)

It's a ruddy baby!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 06, 2018, 01:42:28 PM
No need for the photoshopping, the original is frightening enough:

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/2B32/production/_101185011_bbb7705a-b960-42b7-b084-837b5b950c0a.jpg)

That face smacks of arrogant entitled prick
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: shiftwork2 on May 06, 2018, 01:47:23 PM
It's going bald already.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on May 06, 2018, 04:14:18 PM
'You mean I will be able to remain this dependent on everyone for everything until the day I prince Phillip it? Nice one.'

Is what I imagine the creature is thinking.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 06, 2018, 05:33:34 PM
OMG!!! We ADORE these new pictures of baby Prince Louis!

(https://i.imgur.com/s8WpcOx.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/lGNim6y.png)

Seven days...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: George Oscar Bluth II on May 13, 2018, 02:18:29 PM
Supposedly 100,000 people are expected in Windsor on Saturday. This is, surely, complete fucking madness. Why. What are you going to actually do there if you're not actually invited.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on May 13, 2018, 03:50:52 PM
Spontaneously rise up as one, storm the church and slaughter all inside? Security wouldn't be able to resist 100,000 people.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 13, 2018, 08:14:51 PM
It is, in essence, the 100,00 most compliant people in the country.

Imagine 100,000 of those people who stand in the middle of the doors when trains pull in so none of the passengers can get off. That'll be Windsor all day.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 13, 2018, 11:55:30 PM
Got my first glimpse of Windsor on the national express from Bath today. Like Stonehenge, I don’t rate any historical site if it can be viewed from a major A road
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on May 14, 2018, 03:56:51 PM
Yeah, the idiots should have built it further back from the road.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 15, 2018, 09:53:41 AM
I understand that Syoots' dad has been a bit of a silly billy of late, but all the coverage has been a bit of a smear campaign over nothing, hasn't it? What is this- the racists at the Daily Mail making one last-ditch attempt to get the wedding called off?

Uncle Gary is still worse...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 15, 2018, 10:01:13 AM
I also enjoyed the tabloid gossip about Bants being sighted going to gyms and buying healthy food, and this supposedly being proof that Syoots is FORCING Bants to go on a diet and do more exercise and how this shows she's got him well and truly under the thumb, as if:

1. There's something unusual about a man wanting to get in shape for his wedding

and

2. There's any way that anyone marrying into The Firm could possibly have the tiniest bit of control over any of those fuckers.

Enjoy those smart and stylish clothes and having a voice while you can Syoots, a whole lifetime of staying mute and smiling while wearing frumpy age-inappropriate "frocks" awaits you.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 15, 2018, 10:41:36 AM
Horrible student newspaper The Tab ran a story about the Princess Margaret’s grandson/the CoD's great-nephew, Samuel Chatto, and how, as president of his university's debating society, he sat back and did fuck-all during a debate where one black student was called an "African dictator" and told to “go back to Uganda, you slave”. The story also ran in this week's Sunday Express... but now both articles have mysteriously vanished, though the Sunday Express one has been archived here:

http://archive.is/M4phX

Lovely people... and super-sinister pre-Royal wedding tendrils...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 17, 2018, 02:07:15 PM
Huh -- there's a one-off Windsors 'wedding special' on 4oD, with Harry marrying Muggin.

Paul Kaye as a the Tramp-catcher...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on May 17, 2018, 04:29:00 PM
Yes! 0/7 in the BBC's Royal wedding 2018 quiz (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44088876)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on May 17, 2018, 04:37:12 PM
Yes! 0/7 in the BBC's Royal wedding 2018 quiz (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44088876)

Guessed my way through it, got 4/7.

For shame.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on May 17, 2018, 05:27:24 PM
Thought I was in line to be the next BBC Royal Correspondent but thankfully I managed to get the last question wrong. 6/7

I presume I can still remain a member of the forum. 7 out of 7 certainly would have required my banning.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 18, 2018, 08:33:34 AM
My royal-mad friend in the US plans to get up at 4am to watch the coverage (which starts then, local time.) I remember my mother doing something similar when Charles and Diana got married. I was around 13? 14? and stumbled out into the living room thinking something terrible was happening. Nothing like being half awake and having your mom yelling at you to get out of the room, this was her special thing, and she didn't want anyone messing it up for her. Mainly I was baffled that they'd have their wedding at 4am, being a little slow on the uptake about time zones at the time.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on May 18, 2018, 11:48:39 AM
Every time I see a picture of Thomas Markle he looks like an angry farmer from Kent. I can't reconcile the fact that he's American.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on May 18, 2018, 12:06:44 PM
Fuck this country. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-44167520)

And yet...


(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/624/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2018/5/18/a1463c8d-a00d-4e43-ba89-2ea12834a891.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: the on May 18, 2018, 10:29:47 PM
... but now both articles have mysteriously vanished, though the Sunday Express one has been archived here:

http://archive.is/M4phX

Lovely people... and super-sinister pre-Royal wedding tendrils...

I'd love to see an exposé of how aggressive the royal PR machine is.

This morning I watched early-morning programme The Briefing on BBC News (a sort of headlines catchup show), and even they had clearly been instructed to install their regular studio-based presenter in Windsor. At 5am! No fucking value in that at all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 08:52:49 AM
"Syoots, Duchess of Sussex" it is then... I had been expecting the CoD to make her "Princess Syoots", if only to piss off Kate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 08:55:39 AM
Vows here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44174413

Unlile Sophie Wessex, Syoots will not be vowing to "obey" her husband. I'd expect nothing less from The Woke Princess.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 09:09:09 AM
"Syoots, Duchess of Sussex" it is then... I had been expecting the CoD to make her "Princess Syoots", if only to piss off Kate.

Just saw this -- I was hoping Bants would get Duke of Clarence, considering the fate of one of the more famous ones.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 09:14:04 AM
Vows here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44174413

Unlile Sophie Wessex, Syoots will not be vowing to "obey" her husband. I'd expect nothing less from The Woke Princess.

Wait -- if they have all this in writing, wouldn't it just be quicker for them to read it over breakfast or something, go, yeah ok, I'm fine with that, and then head down to the shops or whatever else it is they'd normally have planned for the day? I mean, it took less than 5 minutes for me to read through all that (and, if calculated using my hourly wage, thus saved the tax payer £29,999,998).

My own most recent wedding was about 10 minutes flat, done and dusted; with luck the next one will be even quicker (or non-existant) -- I'd go nuts if I had to take all frigging day just to get married.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 10:29:50 AM
"Syoots, Duchess of Sussex" it is then... I had been expecting the CoD to make her "Princess Syoots", if only to piss off Kate.

so there is a Wessex, a Sussex...no Essex or Nosex?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 10:31:17 AM
Wait -- if they have all this in writing, wouldn't it just be quicker for them to read it over breakfast or something, go, yeah ok, I'm fine with that, and then head down to the shops or whatever else it is they'd normally have planned for the day? I mean, it took less than 5 minutes for me to read through all that (and, if calculated using my hourly wage, thus saved the tax payer £29,999,998).

My own most recent wedding was about 10 minutes flat, done and dusted; with luck the next one will be even quicker (or non-existant) -- I'd go nuts if I had to take all frigging day just to get married.

Congratulations. But, invites next time...yeh (Gervais voice).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 10:42:47 AM
From the  BBC's fawning coverage:

Quote
Eight-year-old Ariana from Folkstone has written a poem for Harry and Meghan with her Grandpop

Quote
On one day, the 19th of May,

Something wowza is going to happen,

Ring a ding ding from the Church bell,

Harry and Meghan both looking well,

Now getting married on this fine day,

Let's just hope the weather stays that way,

People come from far and wide,

To see Prince Harry and his beautiful bride,

The streets are lined 10 people deep,

Waving their flags and smiling sweet,

Prince Harry and Meghan I'd love to meet,

But I haven't booked me and Grandpop a seat!

Isn't Lewis Hamilton a bit young to be a grandpop?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: bgmnts on May 19, 2018, 10:45:53 AM
Someone tell Ariana her poem is fucking shit and she should fuck off.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 10:47:39 AM
The grandees of wedding guests have arrived...Oprah, Idris and Beckhams. Shit for cunts
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 11:10:17 AM
No invite for Theresa May, but Idris Elba, Oprah Winfrey and the Spice Girls... did the happy couple just stick a pin in a stack of gossip magazines when they drew up the guest list?

Actually, this is Banter Harry we're talking about, so maybe he decided to be all LOLRANDOM.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on May 19, 2018, 11:10:52 AM
Fucking hell. This is just a real-life edition of Hello. Is this what the royals have to do to court popularity now?

(Sorry, I sound shocked at something so obvious)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 11:13:10 AM
Congratulations. But, invites next time...yeh (Gervais voice).

When I say 'recent' I mean, 6 years ago (as compared to the one about 25 years ago to my ex).

But who knows, always a chance for a third one.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 11:16:12 AM
Fucking hell. This is just a real-life edition of Hello. Is this what the royals have to do to court popularity now?

(Sorry, I sound shocked at something so obvious)

I've got a window open on my computer to chat with my royal-mad US friend -- she's lapping all of this up with a giant spoon (and has been since 4am her time). She's shocked that I've not got the coverage going on the radio, TV, and BBC website simulataneously.

Soz, I'm reading these threads with a giggle in between doing my washing, Saturday chores, looking at a new Rifftrax to buy for this evening's entertainment, &c. Gotta go downstairs in a moment as it sounds as if the cat's laid a few shit-eggs on the carpet again (he kicks them out of his box).

Someone tell Ariana her poem is fucking shit and she should fuck off.

Where's Baldrick and his poetic skills when you need them?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on May 19, 2018, 11:20:17 AM
I was discussing the Royal Wedding with my barber, who is a fan of Harry.

I didn't want to disagree with the man taking a pair of scissors to my hair!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 11:23:25 AM
Now my pal informs me she's got fingers and toes crossed that it's a Stella McCartney dress.

She's also grumpy that I won't simul watch with her, and that I keep sending her links to all of the silly tat that keeps popping up. (She's a good egg overall; just having a moment of blind royal madness).

Am trying to find a jpg from Star Stories of 'Stella' wearing that 'My dad's Paul McCartney' dress.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 11:29:24 AM
I was discussing the Royal Wedding with my barber, who is a fan of Harry.

I didn't want to disagree with the man taking a pair of scissors to my hair!

Too right, he might have dyed it ginger.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: thraxx on May 19, 2018, 11:30:00 AM
Fucking hell. This is just a real-life edition of Hello. Is this what the royals have to do to court popularity now?

(Sorry, I sound shocked at something so obvious)

I too am staggered with the race to the bottom Heat style celeb and fashion fawning. Belongs in the desolation thread.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 11:30:08 AM
I'm going for a walk up a big hill now, catch you royal haters later xxx
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 11:32:01 AM
James Corden IN DA HOUSE, looking rather hang-dog. My mum: "my friend Heather, her daughter attended the same NTC classes as James and his wife when they were expecting", Me: "James still looks like he's expecting".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Sgt. Duckie on May 19, 2018, 11:55:49 AM
Hide the inlaws...Prince Phillip is in da house.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: thraxx on May 19, 2018, 12:25:45 PM

I think this Episcopalian bish is going a bit beyond his brief now. The look on Prince Phillip's face!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 12:27:40 PM
UK goes full American post-Brexit now. Evangelical Kingdom of Brittan.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: thraxx on May 19, 2018, 12:30:17 PM

Camilla finding it hard to hide her disgust. On tv in front of a billion people.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 12:31:52 PM
Quote
You've been living like a little girl,
in the middle of your little world.
And your mind, your tiny mind,
you know you've really been so blind.
Now's your time, burn your mind,
you're falling far too far behind.

FIRE!

OH FUCK, STAND BY ME now!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phil_A on May 19, 2018, 12:34:09 PM
The Bishop was going on so long I thought Jools Holland was going to jump out and cut him off mid-flow like The McCoy Tyner Trio.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: thraxx on May 19, 2018, 12:35:27 PM
OH FUCK, STAND BY ME now!

If i had to go to church i'd go to the US one on display here, but this mix of cold C of E and yank fervour is awkward and tacky as fuck.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: thraxx on May 19, 2018, 12:38:46 PM

Meghan looked quite pleased when Harry said 'all i have i give to you' bit.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Phil_A on May 19, 2018, 12:47:41 PM
Beckham there clearly thinking "Fucking hell, this is going on a bit."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 01:21:22 PM
I think this Episcopalian bish is going a bit beyond his brief now. The look on Prince Phillip's face!

Any screenshots of Philip and Camilla for those of us who fled after watching Syoots get out of the car and look around to see who was watching? Briefly had some hopes, as Harry was a deep shade of red whilst waiting for her to enter into the church.

Just wait til the first royal Fourth of July BBQ this summer.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 01:24:29 PM
Any screenshots of Philip and Camilla for those of us who fled after watching Syoots get out of the car and look around to see who was watching? Briefly had some hopes, as Harry was a deep shade of red whilst waiting for her to enter into the church.

Just wait til the first royal Fourth of July BBQ this summer.

Pretty much wall to wall embarrassment, anger. Beckham saying something to Victoria (in mourning black), she coldly ignoring him. Corden and Blunt looking aged and hungover. A complete farce. Highly enjoyable.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 01:50:56 PM
Pretty much wall to wall embarrassment, anger. Beckham saying something to Victoria (in mourning black), she coldly ignoring him. Corden and Blunt looking aged and hungover. A complete farce. Highly enjoyable.

Off to the iPlayer, for me, then!


ETA for Blue Jam -- he kicks off at 12.18 on Iplayer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p065ffm0/the-royal-wedding-prince-harry-and-meghan-markle-2-live-coverage#
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 01:59:47 PM
Warning. The worst moment of the day was some loud cockney in black shirt and orange tie getting ovver enfusiastic in his nationalistic pride (Alex Jones segment)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 02:44:36 PM
Thanks Attila- and sorry guys, but believe it or not I couldn't bring myself to watch one fawning second of the coverage.  I went out just before noon, expecting to see my neighbourhood as busy as usual, but the streets were depressingly quiet, with the sound of organ music coming out of open windows. I walked round The Meadows, noting the prime barbecue weather,  expecting to see taps aff, a thousand disposable barbecues and nae fucks given, only to see it looking eerily empty.

The summit of Arthur's Seat was reassuringly rammed though- and whatever you think of the royals, sitting indoors watching TV on a day like this, with Scotchland's apocalyptic snowstorms a recent memory, would be madness. Easter Road has never looked so pretty:

(https://preview.ibb.co/hSKOvo/20180519_133410.jpg)

Went to Oink for a hog roast roll (it's wedding food innit?) and a beer afterwards. Saw one tartan tat shop with a load of unsold Bants'n'Syoots flags but otherwise managed to escape it all. It was magic.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Depressed Beyond Tables on May 19, 2018, 02:45:55 PM
Reports of shots being fired in one of the catering tents.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 02:46:16 PM
...alright, I looked at the dress. It's a surprisingly nice and understated dress and Syoots looked lovely. That's it for me (probably).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 02:53:36 PM
Pretty much wall to wall embarrassment, anger. Beckham saying something to Victoria (in mourning black), she coldly ignoring him. Corden and Blunt looking aged and hungover. A complete farce. Highly enjoyable.

Didn't Posh wear something inappropriately funereal for the last one as well? As for Becks, I'm amazed that Mr Where's My Fucking Knighthood wasn't persona non grata.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 03:08:32 PM
...alright, I looked at the dress. It's a surprisingly nice and understated dress and Syoots looked lovely. That's it for me (probably).

I managed to look at the about 5 mins or so from Syoots to get out of the car and get half way up the aisle and bailed out, and then flicked through the preacher's thing to see the reactions of the royals. But, yeah, have been trying to find something else to look at.

I wanted to go somewhere today, as well as it's so lovely out, and the streets/shops/whatever here are deserted -- but Mr Attila's mountain bike takes top priority every weekend, and I'm stuck surfing the internet, again. Good times.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 03:12:57 PM
Mr Jam is in Newcastle for the Rugby League, I would have joined him but I need to save some cash and walking up hills is cheaper.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 19, 2018, 03:15:46 PM
My car is in the garage in Portsmouth -- been finished and ready for collection since yesterday afternoon, but nope, bike is more important than giving me a lift even to the train station so I can go over and collect it.

Feh -- cat videos all afternoon it is, then (since every news site is nothing but wedding coverage and now post-wedding analysis...)

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 03:17:53 PM
Solo pub crawl for me- let's face it, this is what Banter Harry would rather be doing today.

It's a shame it's now too late to visit Embra Farmers' Market and get a buffalo burger so I can imagine the buffalo were all actually shot by Harry.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on May 19, 2018, 05:34:02 PM
...reading this thread is just making me miss Edinburgh now :(

Edit, as you mentioned it - Mrs Ferris lived on Easter Road when we first met, I remember the first morning heading back to my flat (in much nicer and leafier Morningside) and being struck by the early morning denizens of Easter Road. They were like extras from a League of Gentlemen filmshoot - all 3-legged dogs and unscrupulous people carrying suspicious carrier bags and putting things in the back of their knackered vans. I have a lot of fondness for Easter Road, and once spent a very happy weekend smashed drunk on the 3 quid vermouth that can be found at the Iceland at the top end of the street. Days are gone etc.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 19, 2018, 05:49:56 PM
Gorse smells amazing, doesn't it? The flowers somehow exude scents of coconut, vanilla and magnolia, and thus make blustery Scottish munros positively reek of Hawaiian Tropic. I love it...

Ferris, come back soon, you know you want to.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on May 19, 2018, 05:55:40 PM
I must be one of the only women on Earth who had to sit through it because my boyfriend wanted to watch it. He claims it's because he's ex-military and met Harry a few times but seeing as he also knew what kind of cake they were having I'm not convinced. I got through it by thinking at least if something went wrong I'd get to see it unedited, but nothing remotely interesting happened, not even a nice splatter of purple blackberry birdshit down the dress, nada. Bloody boring.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on May 19, 2018, 06:01:26 PM
Gorse smells amazing, doesn't it? The flowers somehow exude scents of coconut, vanilla and magnolia, and thus make blustery Scottish munros positively reek of Hawaiian Tropic. I love it...

Ferris, come back soon, you know you want to.

I certainly do! Favourite city in the world (don’t tell Toronto I said that).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 19, 2018, 07:05:11 PM
Gorse smells amazing, doesn't it? The flowers somehow exude scents of coconut, vanilla and magnolia, and thus make blustery Scottish munros positively reek of Hawaiian Tropic. I love it...

Ferris, come back soon, you know you want to.

he's staying while I'm over there...after that you can do what you want with him
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on May 20, 2018, 12:40:25 AM
Arthur's Seat is one of my fonder memories of Edinburgh
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Mister Six on May 20, 2018, 02:03:53 AM
From the  BBC's fawning coverage:
Quote
The streets are lined 10 people deep,

75 MCs freestyling to the beat.

Had to get up at 6.30am to cover this for my paper in New York. Only thing stopping me from wanting a surprise ISIS hello was the knowledge that covering the resulting mayhem would be an even bigger pain in the arse.

Still, it's something to be proud of, eh? Eh? EH?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 20, 2018, 11:09:34 AM
I would have watched the entire thing had Graham Norton, in Eurovision mode (or even Noel Furlong mode) had been the commentator.

Or maybe the Rifftrax.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 20, 2018, 12:36:11 PM
I would have watched the entire thing had Graham Norton, in Eurovision mode (or even Noel Furlong mode) had been the commentator.

Or maybe the Rifftrax.

Norton’s camp sarcasm is a bit passé these days?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 20, 2018, 02:19:09 PM
Norton’s camp sarcasm is a bit passé these days?

Dunno, but I like him for Eurovision anyway.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 20, 2018, 08:13:16 PM
Dunno, but I like him for Eurovision anyway.

Ok, well I liked Wogan in the 80s/90s until his sarcasm developed into blatant jingoism. I hope Norton is not regurgitating yet same Daily Mail outrage masquerading as comedy indignation
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on May 21, 2018, 11:01:57 AM
Whitney Houston? Is The Sun trying to tell us something there..?


(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/120C5/production/_101652937_sun2.jpg)


Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh dear, Meghan, you have got some surprises in store.

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/3A4D/production/_101652941_dialymail.jpg)

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 21, 2018, 01:39:17 PM
Get your bids in early

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44197388
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on May 21, 2018, 04:46:33 PM
Take the Royals in a new direction?

What, actually doing something? Or just subtly changing the direction in which they all do fuck all (except breed)?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 21, 2018, 10:57:04 PM
Get your bids in early

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44197388

Quote
Other items given to the guests include a bottle of water, a chocolate coin, a fridge magnet, a badge and a 20% off voucher for the Windsor Castle gift shop.

...a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express. Ooooooh, it's a good paper...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 21, 2018, 10:57:34 PM
(wot no printed marshmallows?)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: pigamus on May 21, 2018, 11:37:41 PM
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bi93xbFnURf/?igref=ogexp&utm_source=fb_www_attr
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 22, 2018, 12:19:54 PM
Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh dear, Meghan, you have got some surprises in store.

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/3A4D/production/_101652941_dialymail.jpg)

Are Ladbrokes offering odds on the length of time it takes for her spirit to be utterly broken? I reckon The Firm will manage it in about a year, maybe less if they get Syoots on the same medication Kate is on.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 22, 2018, 05:16:00 PM
Are Ladbrokes offering odds on the length of time it takes for her spirit to be utterly broken? I reckon The Firm will manage it in about a year, maybe less if they get Syoots on the same medication Kate is on.

She's already had lessons in crotch-level handbag clutching

(http://i.imgur.com/Oqycbzf.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Oqycbzf)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 22, 2018, 09:01:38 PM
That's a nice dress and a nice hat. I bet Kate is just out of shot, looking at her stylish and age-appropriate outfit and thinking "Mwahahahaha, just you wait until you see your new wardrobe..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 22, 2018, 09:56:09 PM
...and here's a Bad Lip Reading- hurrah!

https://youtu.be/SKV6h_5XFbk

(blimey, Wills is looking very odd here, like a cartoon of the real thing)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 22, 2018, 10:39:01 PM
...and here's a Bad Lip Reading- hurrah!

https://youtu.be/SKV6h_5XFbk

(blimey, Wills is looking very odd here, like a cartoon of the real thing)

Lost it at the exchange about puppets and free will.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: ollyboro on May 22, 2018, 11:17:07 PM
She's already had lessons in crotch-level handbag clutching

(http://i.imgur.com/Oqycbzf.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Oqycbzf)

Could be mistaken, but the black kid channeling his inner action man has almost certainly got a fully blown Piers Morgan in his pants. There's standing to attention and there's standing to attention.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 23, 2018, 09:48:18 AM
...so has Charles, he's just hiding it behind his top hat.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on June 01, 2018, 11:31:28 AM
Are Ladbrokes offering odds on the length of time it takes for her spirit to be utterly broken? I reckon The Firm will manage it in about a year, maybe less if they get Syoots on the same medication Kate is on

Did this get mentioned?

Megan Markle to undergo six months of brainwashing and subjugation royal etiquette training (http://observer.com/2018/05/megan-markle-royal-etiquette-training/)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on June 01, 2018, 11:43:41 AM
I can just imagine it. Every time she shows any resistance or raises an objection Philip revs the Fiat Uno parked in the corner of the room.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on June 01, 2018, 11:52:27 AM
What a load of self-important bollocks.  These cunts genuinely think they're special and different.

Daily Mash nailed it:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/meghan-to-spend-six-months-learning-how-to-wave-20180524173504

Quote
THE Duchess of Sussex is to be taught how to be an ‘effective royal’ by learning how to wave correctly.

The Queen’s assistant private secretary Samantha Cohen is firmly convinced that, for example, it is possible to wave at the public from a passing carriage ‘badly’ and is desperate to show Meghan ‘the right way’.

A palace insider said: “An ‘effective royal’ is a contradiction in terms. An ‘ineffective royal’ is an oxymoron.

“The public might think there’s a difference between the ones who turn up at events smartly dressed and the likes of, say, Prince Edward, but he does all that too. It’s just nobody turns up or cares.

“To be royal all you have to do is be royal. It’s like, how much better can you be at cutting a ribbon? There’s a ceiling on the skill. And it’s low.”
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on June 01, 2018, 03:03:28 PM
You’ve got to be able to engage in short bursts of vacuous small talk with a Common Person without vomiting on them in utter disgust and, to be fair, Meghan is probably way ahead of most if not all of the other Royals in that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 01, 2018, 03:11:59 PM
Now I wanna marry a royal, and take all of the refinement lessons, so that at the opportune moment, I can do this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uozGujfdS0
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Mantle Retractor on June 03, 2018, 10:24:40 AM
I saw this in a garden centre yesterday. My wife wanted some compost and a fern, that's why I was there:

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51WIE03q0RL._SX327_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)

and I am sharing it with you now in the hope that you too experience the anger, repulsion, despair, hatred and soul-crushing melancholy that I did - all in the space of about two seconds.

There's also, inevitably, one of the CoD but I can't bring myself to link it in the same post. Rest assured it features an equally smackable, smug pose on the cover.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: the on June 03, 2018, 11:35:47 AM
Ironically, showcasing a picture of Phil looking distinctly slitty-eyed.

If you gave a description to a police sketch artist and said '... and he was dressed like a toff!' - ^that's exactly what they would draw.

A guffawing entitled chump, occupying a completely undeserved slab of the unthinking deferent attention slathered on these human nobodies.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 20, 2018, 04:42:55 PM
The conditioning has begun:

(http://i63.tinypic.com/23vi1dl.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on June 20, 2018, 05:24:10 PM
They've made the criticism pretty explicit by referencing The Handmaid's tale. Like it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 20, 2018, 05:50:32 PM
Gotta love a bit of Incubator Chic.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 20, 2018, 06:55:29 PM
Top hat on Harry proving that this so-called modernising of the royals after the wedding is bearing fruit
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: kalowski on June 20, 2018, 08:07:06 PM
Top hat on Harry proving that this so-called modernising of the royals after the wedding is bearing fruit
Under his eye.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on June 20, 2018, 08:08:22 PM
What was Southgate doing in the wood?

Burying Neymar.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 28, 2018, 10:22:50 AM
Spot The Difference:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/11B87/production/_102238527_5818a80d-fdd1-4a02-b109-786f3525d9e0.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 28, 2018, 10:41:41 AM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/28/09/4DB63F9400000578-5895177-image-a-67_1530172931062.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on June 28, 2018, 11:24:40 AM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/06/28/09/4DB63F9400000578-5895177-image-a-67_1530172931062.jpg)

Do you think that kippah just slides all over his head, like a pat of butter on a hot pan?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 28, 2018, 11:25:00 AM
Spot The Difference:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/11B87/production/_102238527_5818a80d-fdd1-4a02-b109-786f3525d9e0.jpg)

Wow -- aren't you supposed to like to check in advance to make sure you and your pal don't show up at the party wearing the same thing?

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on June 28, 2018, 11:27:45 AM
He copied the hat-stylings of the wrong chap.  Should have gone for the massive wide-brimmed hat on the right.  That'd cover his big stupid bald head much more effectively than that tiny little hat he chose.

Ha ha ha, he is bald.  What a waste-of-carbon-cunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on June 28, 2018, 11:59:36 AM
Based on that pic, not only is he bald but the grimaces of Prince Charles certainly seem to be coming through as well. So I state that within two years old Bonny Charles will be more popular than Wills as his son morphs into him but crucially; has as shiny a dome as a well maintained white ball at the Crucible.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on June 28, 2018, 12:27:52 PM
The CoD is feeling ‘under the weather’ so will not attend one of the endless parade of meaningless ceremonies that make up her ‘working’ life. A doctor hasn’t been called though so don’t get your hopes up yet.

If she did die now would they cancel showing the football?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on June 28, 2018, 12:28:33 PM
Austerity, Woo!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44635205
Quote
The Queen's taxpayer-funded costs rose by 13% in the past year, partly due to the refurbishment of Buckingham Palace.

Accounts show the public funds used by the Queen for official expenditure and duties went up from £41.9m to £47.4m.

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/6E8C/production/_96700382_queen_finances_624.png)

Is that all clear now?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 28, 2018, 12:43:14 PM
Crikey, Ringo looks fab for being 78

(http://i.imgur.com/Uo2tUbj.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Uo2tUbj)

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 28, 2018, 01:49:07 PM
(http://ultimateclassicrock.com/files/2018/03/GettyImages-934968010.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/Uo2tUbj.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Uo2tUbj)

"Mwahahaha... Who's got the great big weapon now, Wills?"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 28, 2018, 02:15:01 PM
(http://ultimateclassicrock.com/files/2018/03/GettyImages-934968010.jpg)


Is that John 'Q' DeLancie there in the background with all the gold braid?

Crikey, Ringo looks fab for being 78

(http://i.imgur.com/Uo2tUbj.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Uo2tUbj)

Just now noticed that Wills is doing his version of 127 Hours.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on June 28, 2018, 02:17:26 PM
Spot The Difference:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/11B87/production/_102238527_5818a80d-fdd1-4a02-b109-786f3525d9e0.jpg)

I laughed
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 28, 2018, 02:29:25 PM
The CoD is feeling ‘under the weather’ so will not attend one of the endless parade of meaningless ceremonies that make up her ‘working’ life. A doctor hasn’t been called though so don’t get your hopes up yet.

If she did die now would they cancel showing the football?

I was thinking (dreaming) this last night. Liz carks it on the eve of the World Cup Final, England vs. Portugal. Southgate says they will play through the sadness for honour and glory. Ronaldo does a Materazzi on Kane ("I'll fuck the dead corpse of your dead Queen" *winks*), Kane headbutts Ronaldo....riots in the stadium, riots on the streets of England. National shame. Monarchy abolished so this sort of thing never happens again. Ronaldo becomes President of Brexit Britain.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Red Lantern on June 28, 2018, 06:47:52 PM
Haha, I was going to post that. Whoever took that picture and put it on the BBC News website front page is really taking the piss.

Spot The Difference:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/11B87/production/_102238527_5818a80d-fdd1-4a02-b109-786f3525d9e0.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on June 29, 2018, 03:32:11 AM
Spot The Difference:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/11B87/production/_102238527_5818a80d-fdd1-4a02-b109-786f3525d9e0.jpg)

One in the foreground is more self-assured, sanctimonious and smug; safe in the knowledge that living a life free from worry and doubt will come to the (un)deserving. Oh no sorry, less. Oh actually, I can’t tell.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 02, 2018, 11:07:27 PM
The best bit about that photo is the way the reflection is in the same spot on both domes. Get that photographer a Pulitzer.

Do you think that kippah just slides all over his head, like a pat of butter on a hot pan?

Don't kippahs have a little comb on the underside to hold them in place? Wills has definitely broken out the toupee tape there. I wonder which of his flunkies drew the short straw and had to present him with the kippah and help him put it on and go "er, Your Royal Highness, it appears there's a problem..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: the on July 03, 2018, 01:06:16 PM
The best bit about that photo is the way the reflection is in the same spot on both domes. Get that photographer a Pulitzer.

Although without wanting to be Mr. Logic about it, that is how lights sources work
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Isnt Anything on July 04, 2018, 12:33:41 AM
Although without wanting to be Mr. Logic about it, that is how lights sources work

i know what a lights sources are
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on July 04, 2018, 09:56:00 AM
Viewing some Digital Spy forums (but never commenting there myself, instead I will just comment on them here) and a lot of people seem to suggest Charles should just give up being King. And pass it on the much more popular son William for his greater popularity. So that the monarchy can survive.

Erm... so have the person representative of State in charge based on popularity. Maybe to be sure; we could have something like a poll and maybe just to be sure; well we might open up the selection a bit. Maybe someone out there is more popular than Wills? Maybe find out through some sort of election or something?

Oh what that sounds too much like a Presidency than monarchy. Well if want to maintain the monarchy, once the CoD passes Charles is next in succession and only death will stop him being in charges. And if he is so unpopular, he will be one of my favourite kings for sure.



Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Hobo With A Shit Pun on July 04, 2018, 02:42:02 PM
"Brown paper packages, left by the bins... Those are what's left of my favourite kings..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 05, 2018, 05:54:16 PM
https://www.republic.org.uk/what-we-do/news-and-updates/exclusive-no-royal-tourism-evidence-found-visitbritain
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 05, 2018, 07:19:57 PM
https://www.republic.org.uk/what-we-do/news-and-updates/exclusive-no-royal-tourism-evidence-found-visitbritain

No regressive jibe about nationality?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on July 06, 2018, 10:13:46 AM
https://www.republic.org.uk/what-we-do/news-and-updates/exclusive-no-royal-tourism-evidence-found-visitbritain

Oh, that's lovely.
I've been saying this for fucking years.

People still visit Egypt and I don't think they mind that Tutankhamun doesn't greet them on arrival.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on July 06, 2018, 11:46:57 AM
And if he is so unpopular, he will be one of my favourite kings for sure.

Never thought about it that way. The worse he is, the better.

Has anyone on this thread noticed all the shit tabloid headlines recently about '10 Ways The Duchess of Sussex has Embarrassed The Queen This Week' bullshit?

This was in the popbitch mailout last week:

Quote
We reported a few weeks ago that some of the more old school members of the Royal household didn’t know what to make of the new Duchess of Sussex, so invented the nickname “Meghan The Menace”.

Their eyebrows have been raised further with Ms Markle’s choice of personal aide. Not a tried and trusted Royal adviser or an experienced aristo to help her navigate the choppy waters of royal etiquette, but someone from the celebrity world, whose biggest previous job was working for Madonna.

Buckingham Palace staff are already dining out on a tale of how Meghan’s new girl was calling up big brands and asking for freebies, as if her boss was in the cast of Love Island rather than married to the Queen’s grandson.

Which just makes me think 'what a bunch of pricks'. All of them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 06, 2018, 03:11:23 PM
Viewing some Digital Spy forums (but never commenting there myself, instead I will just comment on them here) and a lot of people seem to suggest Charles should just give up being King. And pass it on the much more popular son William for his greater popularity. So that the monarchy can survive.

I've mentioned this before but it seems that a lot of people who claim to be royalists really only like the CoD and can't stand any of the younger royals, and that feeling among them just seems to be getting stronger. There's the fact that, for most people alive now, the Queen has been a constant presence for their entire lives and it will seem weird to suddenly have a new monarch after all this time, but it's in no small part down to the unpopularity of Charles...

Never thought about it that way. The worse he is, the better.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yes. You really should read that biography by Tom Bower. He's unpopular because he's out of touch even by royal standards, plus he's fucking mental. Things are going to be seriously fucking weird once he takes over from "Mama Down The Road".

Has anyone on this thread noticed all the shit tabloid headlines recently about '10 Ways The Duchess of Sussex has Embarrassed The Queen This Week' bullshit?

This was in the popbitch mailout last week:

Which just makes me think 'what a bunch of pricks'. All of them.

I hate myself a bit for it, but I can't help liking The Woke Princess (for now), and the more she pisses off all these snobs and racists, the more I like her*. Those among them who are saying she'll never be a good fit for the royal family have a point, but it's probably not the one they were trying to make.

Anyone who thinks Syoots is unsyootable** should try looking at Charles' suitability to reign:

Politically neutral? Nope.
Able to avoid meddling in politics and the democratic process? Nope.
Able to maintain a dignified silence on controversial topics? Nope.
Appears to be sane and devoid of mad beliefs and an interest in the esoteric? Nope.
Able to avoid scandal? Nope.
Able to at least pretend he's thrifty and good value for money? Nope.
Can give the impression that he's down-to-earth and relatable? Nope.
Likeable? Nope.
Has a consort who is likeable? Not anymore...

*The only thing I don't like about her is the fact that she wanted to marry Prince Harry and was totally willing to join The Firm- that's a pretty big thing, admittedly...
**sorry
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on July 06, 2018, 03:16:11 PM
My own opinion of Prince Charles becoming King is largely colored on the (fictionalised) portrayal of him as the King in the second series of 'House of Cards'.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 06, 2018, 04:13:56 PM
My own opinion of Prince Charles becoming King is largely colored on the (fictionalised) portrayal of him as the King in the second series of 'House of Cards'.

Mine is based on Harry Enfield's version of him from The Windsors.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on July 06, 2018, 05:16:34 PM
As someone who spends far, far too much time thinking about stupid shit (and evidently not nearly enough time actually getting shit done), I can't watch Prince Squidgy's infamous address to the RIBA (aka 'The Carbuncle speech) without my fists getting itchy.

I can't believe a room full of architects just sat there and TOOK it like that. I wish I'd been there. Although, as someone who spends far far too much time etc etc, I would never have joined the Royal Institute of British Architects if I'd passed all the exams etc. Luckily, as someone who spends [...] I never passed all the exams so it never became an issue.




Did you know, if you do a google image search for 'Jug Eared Parasite', you don't get a picture of Charles Wales until nearly the second page?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 09, 2018, 05:18:45 PM
"Christening #3? Not arsed mate, off to get cigs":

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44758589
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on July 09, 2018, 05:32:20 PM
Perfectly reasonable attitude. They've got the heir and the spare, why bother with number three?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on July 14, 2018, 06:05:37 AM
(https://sharedmedia.grahamdigital.com/photo/2018/07/13/Donald%20Trump%20Melania%20Trump%20meet%20Queen%20Elizabeth%20II.jpg.jpg_12365593_ver1.0_1280_720.jpg)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DiAEa9QWkAEY3DC.jpg)

When pictures of your shrunken decrepit old monarch and the husk she's married to make even Donald Trump look vaguely healthy and sane in comparison, it makes your nation look even smaller and weaker than it actually is (if possible). Time to get rid.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 14, 2018, 02:06:39 PM
Sadness, madness and glee
Yearning to be free
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 15, 2018, 09:37:36 AM
Looks like Bernie Ecclestone had a fun day out.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on July 16, 2018, 08:12:42 AM
Anyone else get the urge to click their fingers when they look at this..?


(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/177E/production/_102541060_louis2.jpg)

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 16, 2018, 11:29:06 AM
Banter looks worried, is he thinking about his future? Is he ready to be tied down by kids? Will he have to reign in his utter ledging? Has he got a mistress or two lined up yet?

So many questions going through his mind. None of the answers good. Game over!!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on July 16, 2018, 11:44:36 AM
Nice of Megs to come as a sycamore seed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on July 16, 2018, 11:49:19 AM
that rictus grin they all have... is it learned or surgically implanted?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 16, 2018, 01:58:03 PM
Has there been any instance of that grem kid actually wearing trousers. I don't want to see your legs you prick.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 16, 2018, 01:58:54 PM
On the other hand who would have thought in 1997 William would end up being the awkward grotesque?

He can't even act naturally among his "family".
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 16, 2018, 05:54:06 PM
Anyone else get the urge to click their fingers when they look at this..?


(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/177E/production/_102541060_louis2.jpg)

No, because these are the people who would live next door to the Addamses.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Mr_Simnock on July 16, 2018, 10:31:33 PM
Quote
Has he got a mistress or two lined up yet?

I know this is the royals we are talking about but .... Kate, why would you need anyone other than Kate, surely every morning he must think 'BINGO'

(http://raw.cdn.baca.co.id/ead2c413-1201-438d-82a7-2cbd21351cc8)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 17, 2018, 10:43:34 AM
I know this is the royals we are talking about but .... Kate, why would you need anyone other than Kate, surely every morning he must think 'BINGO'

If you're really into the body of 12 y.o. boys, I guess. That's boarding schools for you.

And you could have said the same for Diana, but Bowles knew how to fuck.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Hobo With A Shit Pun on July 17, 2018, 02:00:51 PM
Will he have to reign in his utter ledging?

As the spare to an heir with an heir and a spare, it's unlikely he'll have to reign in any condition. But should he do so, presumably he'll have to keep up the ledging, too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 17, 2018, 07:28:22 PM
Vacant, charmless and overrated on virtually every level.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on July 17, 2018, 08:33:09 PM
I know this is the royals we are talking about but .... Kate, why would you need anyone other than Kate, surely every morning he must think 'BINGO'

I'm sorry to break it to you mate, but she's an android. She's not human, she's just nuts and bolts. Her kids are androids too, you don't think it was suspicious no one has any actual evidence she gave birth? Wake up.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on July 17, 2018, 08:51:18 PM
You say that like it's a bad thing.

Attractive robo-lady-wife?
Don't mind if I do.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 18, 2018, 02:14:13 PM
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44873759
Quote
Princess Eugenie has invited 1,200 members of the public into the grounds of Windsor Castle for her wedding later this year.

The 27-year-old, who is the Queen's granddaughter, will marry her long-term boyfriend Jack Brooksbank in October.

The royal wedding will take place at St George's Chapel - where the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were married in May.

Nobody cares, luv. You're what? 100th in line? A nobody. Not arsed mate!

Quote
The Royal Family says people will be able to apply to watch the wedding from inside the grounds of Windsor Castle.

To "share the experience of their special day", members of the public must submit their details to a ballot by 8 August.

Imagine doing that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 18, 2018, 02:25:41 PM
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44873759
Nobody cares, luv. You're what? 100th in line? A nobody. Not arsed mate!

Imagine doing that.

Just submitted my application to attend!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on July 18, 2018, 05:07:29 PM
Can you attend and then boo them?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: asids on July 18, 2018, 05:47:08 PM
I can't wait to apply to have the privilege of seeing the carriage coming through behind the gates, then watch a livestream of the ceremony (what, you think you're good enough to actually see it for real?), and then see them come out again from behind the gates. All at my own expense.

I would tell my friends and family but this is such a good opportunity that I don't want to ruin my chances of my name being picked, y'know.

There are royal-obsessed weirdos who will be jumping at the chance to be there though. "Sharing the experience" and all that, in their Union Jack gear. Madness. I wonder if big John will be there: https://twitter.com/CerenSenkul/status/988389228567461889
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 18, 2018, 06:33:09 PM
Can you attend and then boo them?

Unlikely to get through even if it is genuinely by lots. They'll look at my past convictions and posts on here and BANG...invitation sent (for access directly to jail).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 18, 2018, 06:35:01 PM
Mind you, she is Newcastle University alumni, so I'll offer my second ticket to Pancreas, so we can celebrate the Geordie princess.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Mr_Simnock on July 18, 2018, 09:53:09 PM
Quote
If you're really into the body of 12 y.o. boys, I guess. That's boarding schools for you

???

Quote
And you could have said the same for Diana, but Bowles knew how to fuck.

I never found Diana much to look at tbh, Kate though... yum


(http://storage-cube.quebecormedia.com/v1/ellecanada_prod/elle_canada/01a392a2-d5b2-477b-a427-22d3a1552560/KateMiddletonHairJWH.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on July 19, 2018, 05:40:05 AM
Just submitted my application to attend!

Why would you not? I’ve just sent a few joke ones through. Fuck em.

Hopefully Dennis the Menace (party of 4) and The Haunting of Steve Davies (+1) enjoy their day out.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 19, 2018, 07:26:54 AM
Just submitted my application to attend!

One of my Anglophile, royal mad pals back in the US asked me to fill out the application and put her as my plus 1. Wasn't sure about joining in (as it looks as if they're only taking people actually born in the UK? I guess to keep out riff raff), but if there's an outside chance of getting a tote bag, I'm in.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on July 19, 2018, 09:29:01 AM
One of my Anglophile, royal mad pals back in the US asked me to fill out the application and put her as my plus 1. Wasn't sure about joining in (as it looks as if they're only taking people actually born in the UK? I guess to keep out riff raff), but if there's an outside chance of getting a tote bag, I'm in.

What about all her grandmother's subjects in the likes of Canada, Australia etc...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on July 19, 2018, 09:37:33 AM
Unlikely to get through even if it is genuinely by lots. They'll look at my past convictions and posts on here and BANG...invitation sent (for access directly to jail).

Ah, I'm not too likely to get in if they link me to this place.
:'(
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 19, 2018, 02:01:44 PM
What about all her grandmother's subjects in the likes of Canada, Australia etc...

Dunno! But I tried to fill out the form with her as my plus 1, and it was only allowing for UK addresses in the drop-down box for the second person.

It's possible the problem is at my end, because some websites's drop-down boxes won't work on Firefox.

It does strike me as strange that it would  be UK-born only.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 19, 2018, 02:17:34 PM
Why would you not? I’ve just sent a few joke ones through. Fuck em.

Hopefully Dennis the Menace (party of 4) and The Haunting of Steve Davies (+1) enjoy their day out.

If you nab those tickets, please be a kind friend. My wife is already booking accommodation ffs.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 19, 2018, 02:18:56 PM
One of my Anglophile, royal mad pals back in the US asked me to fill out the application and put her as my plus 1. Wasn't sure about joining in (as it looks as if they're only taking people actually born in the UK? I guess to keep out riff raff), but if there's an outside chance of getting a tote bag, I'm in.

I had to fill in my wife's nationality, so I assume they will allow anyone in, but I guess they may vet those troublesome foreigns. I hope the Drs. in front of our names mitigates that. Nevertheless still a low chance.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 19, 2018, 02:19:53 PM
Dunno! But I tried to fill out the form with her as my plus 1, and it was only allowing for UK addresses in the drop-down box for the second person.

It's possible the problem is at my end, because some websites's drop-down boxes won't work on Firefox.

It does strike me as strange that it would  be UK-born only.

Its not UK-born, but you can put your address as her address too as well as the same e-mail.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 19, 2018, 10:26:35 PM
Its not UK-born, but you can put your address as her address too as well as the same e-mail.

That's what I did :)

She'd go nuts if mine gets chosen; she's already shopping for hats. I've been trying to get her to watch the Windsors; even sent her the dvd.

I used my doctor-title, too (which normally I only use for buying plane tickets, dunno it amuses me to).dunno if that gives me an advantage.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 19, 2018, 11:09:44 PM
I never found Diana much to look at tbh, Kate though... yum

Diana wasn't a great beauty (and I never understood why her frumpy haircut was copied so much) but she had a ton of charisma. Kate's more like a creepy and sexless Stepford Wife. Young Kurvy Kate had a kind of Philippa Forrester thing going on but that's since been knocked right out of her. It's not her fault- she was designed that way by committee.

I think Syoots looks good and really stylish, but it's only a matter of time before she's broken in and ends up a husk of her former self, hidden away under a succession of ghastly chintz frocks.

I just imagine Beatrice and Eugenie to be exactly like they're portrayed on The Windsors- stupid but fun. I hope those people who get tickets to the wedding get plied with loads of that George Clooney-endorsed tequila.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 19, 2018, 11:16:40 PM
On the subject of Diana's looks, Vic Reeves' impersonation of her on Shooting Stars will haunt me forever. It's the eyeliner and the doe eyes... It's a bit too good...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 20, 2018, 02:09:52 AM
Diana was anti-beauty. Prince Charles in drag essentially.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 20, 2018, 02:12:08 AM
Diana wasn't a great beauty (and I never understood why her frumpy haircut was copied so much) but she had a ton of charisma. Kate's more like a creepy and sexless Stepford Wife. Young Kurvy Kate had a kind of Philippa Forrester thing going on but that's since been knocked right out of her. It's not her fault- she was designed that way by committee.

I think Syoots looks good and really stylish, but it's only a matter of time before she's broken in and ends up a husk of her former self, hidden away under a succession of ghastly chintz frocks.

I just imagine Beatrice and Eugenie to be exactly like they're portrayed on The Windsors- stupid but fun. I hope those people who get tickets to the wedding get plied with loads of that George Clooney-endorsed tequila.

Flip Forrester in boots, one of the wonders of the world.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 20, 2018, 09:47:05 AM
Flip Forrester in boots, one of the wonders of the world.

Oh Kate, what happened?

(https://the-hollywood-gossip-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--u54QbC-V--/t_full/cs_srgb,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1376505284/young-kate-middleton.jpg)

Good strong pins as well, I think she'd be much happier getting all jolly hockey sticks than starving herself and being a clothes horse.

I really am intrigued to see what The Firm end up doing to Syoots. I shall be watching in horror.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 20, 2018, 10:28:10 AM
Not topical but I just saw this on Facebook and hadn't seen it before:

(http://i65.tinypic.com/30m1efb.jpg)

It's a misquote apparently (https://www.metabunk.org/debunked-if-i-were-reincarnated-i-would-wish-to-be-prince-philip.t4913/) but the actual quote isn't exactly pleasant either:

Quote
I just wonder what it would be like to be reincarnated in an animal whose species had been so reduced in numbers than it was in danger of extinction. What would be its feelings toward the human species whose population explosion had denied it somewhere to exist... I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus.

...or you could just stop your family shooting animals... What a lovely man.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 20, 2018, 12:20:09 PM

I just imagine Beatrice and Eugenie to be exactly like they're portrayed on The Windsors- stupid but fun. I hope those people who get tickets to the wedding get plied with loads of that George Clooney-endorsed tequila.

This is why I want my pal to watch the Windsors -- I want to talk with her in super RP vocal fry.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 20, 2018, 01:03:01 PM
"I'm getting hitched, yah? It's gonna be totes amaaaaazzzze..."

I assumed that thing about Eugenie's fiance being a rep for George Clooney's tequila brand was made up for the show, but it's actually true. That's only marginally less useless than printing Instagram photos on marshmallows. These talentless posh sods all seem too dumb to live, how the hell do any of them manage to survive to adulthood? It takes more than mummy and daddy's money, surely?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: paruses on July 23, 2018, 05:20:52 PM

I think Syoots looks good and really stylish, but it's only a matter of time before she's broken in and ends up a husk of her former self, hidden away under a succession of ghastly chintz frocks.


It's started already:

http://www.msn.com/en-ie/lifestyle/style/i%e2%80%99ll-wear-the-royal-trousers-meghan-the-duchess-of-sussex-wants-to-wear-a-tux-just-like-princess-diana-on-their-tour-down-under-but-harry-gives-the-thumbs-down/ar-BBKYgHn?ocid=ientp

That tuxedo (it's not a tuxedo) worn by Diana is terrible.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 27, 2018, 12:26:39 PM
Oh dear... How long before Syoots goes shopping for her very own Revenge Dress (https://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/princess-diana-revenge-dress_us_5b3514a2e4b0b5e692f5cf6b) and leopard-print swimsuit? How long before Prince Philip goes shopping for another white Fiat Uno?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: paruses on July 27, 2018, 02:50:33 PM
Oh dear... How long before Syoots goes shopping for her very own Revenge Dress (https://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/princess-diana-revenge-dress_us_5b3514a2e4b0b5e692f5cf6b) and leopard-print swimsuit? How long before Prince Philip goes shopping for another white Fiat Uno?

Nice dress but still with the hair!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Isnt Anything on July 28, 2018, 03:17:17 PM
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/177E/production/_102541060_louis2.jpg)

Why is Kate sardonically raising an eyebrow ?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 28, 2018, 03:19:09 PM
she also seems to have gone full-crone.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on August 02, 2018, 05:26:26 PM
"Business Consultant"?" Oh my god, this is exactly like The Windsors- "Oh my god B, we're like, princesses, with jobs":

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45047574

I just can't help hearing vocal fry in every line...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 02, 2018, 05:36:03 PM
"Business Consultant"?" Oh my god, this is exactly like The Windsors- "Oh my god B, we're, like,  princesses, with jobs":

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45047574

I just can't help hearing vocal fry in every line...

nice pooches
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on August 02, 2018, 05:36:39 PM
I love their frank admission that being a royal with a job is unprecedented.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on August 23, 2018, 02:41:59 PM
Can't even be trusted with their own kids!!

https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/royals/bizarre-reason-why-meghan-and-harry-wont-have-custody-of-their-children/news-story/5070826afa1e1869db31304d4674bd3b
Quote
Even the most knowledgeable fan might not be aware of this, but according to royal historians, Prince William and Kate Middleton don’t have legal custody of their own children.

That, in fact, belongs to the children’s 92-year-old great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II.

“The sovereign has legal custody of the minor grandchildren,” royal expert Marlene Koenig told news.com.au.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on August 27, 2018, 01:14:41 AM
Just like any normal five-year-old, Prince Damien McOmenface has attended his first grouse hunt. How sweet:

https://people.com/royals/prince-george-first-grouse-hunt-kate-middleton/
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 27, 2018, 01:13:45 PM
Just like any normal five-year-old, Prince Damien McOmenface has attended his first grouse hunt. How sweet:

https://people.com/royals/prince-george-first-grouse-hunt-kate-middleton/

Modernising the Royal Family Part 16.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on August 27, 2018, 05:51:20 PM
Just like any normal five-year-old, Prince Damien McOmenface has attended his first grouse hunt. How sweet:

https://people.com/royals/prince-george-first-grouse-hunt-kate-middleton/

Is 'grouse' one of those British words that would be something else in American ('peasant'? 'serf'? 'French person'?) like, 'lift' is for 'elevator'?yes, I know what grouse is.






Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 27, 2018, 10:08:35 PM
Is 'grouse' one of those British words that would be something else in American ('peasant'? 'serf'? 'French person'?) like, 'lift' is for 'elevator'?yes, I know what grouse is.

gouse is a small peasant
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on August 28, 2018, 11:17:43 AM
gouse is a small peasant

+++++++
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 14, 2018, 07:17:58 PM
Wot a Jeremy Hunt:

https://edition-m.cnn.com/2018/09/13/uk/prince-william-japanese-chinese-intl/index.html
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 15, 2018, 10:19:02 AM
Mr Attila likes to watch the New Avengers over his tea in the evening (= Mr Attila likes to look at a young Joanna Lumley adjusting her suspenders and tights over his tea in the evening), and last night, the adverts seemed exclusively to alternate between long adverts for charity with loads of images of abused and neglected animals/children living in extreme poverty and notices about the royal-family-film-fest on Sunday because of Bants' birthday.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 15, 2018, 10:20:49 AM
Wot a Jeremy Hunt:

https://edition-m.cnn.com/2018/09/13/uk/prince-william-japanese-chinese-intl/index.html

Less like Prince Philip and more like Dan Quayle in that gaffe.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cursus on September 24, 2018, 09:07:15 PM
Genuine headline in the Daily Mail:

Kate's little soldier: Prince George, 5, on the march as he steals the show at another wedding wearing military-style knickerbockers in periwinkle blue (but sister Princess Charlotte looks unimpressed)

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6199275/Prince-George-steals-wedding-sister-Princess-Charlotte-looks-unimpressed.html

(https://i.postimg.cc/gc38F2TK/4499004-6199275-_Five_year_old_George_laughed_and_giggled_at_the.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 24, 2018, 09:40:16 PM
^ripe for a bullying, this lad.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 24, 2018, 09:43:05 PM
^ripe for a bullying, this lad.

March 2019, Ferris hits the streets of downtown Toronto in silky knickerbockers and stockings!
It’s all the rage
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 24, 2018, 09:44:50 PM
March 2019, Ferris hits the streets of downtown Toronto in silky knickerbockers and stockings!
It’s all the rage

April 2019 - Blodz does the decent thing and bullies me out of it.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on September 24, 2018, 09:51:37 PM
(https://i.postimg.cc/gc38F2TK/4499004-6199275-_Five_year_old_George_laughed_and_giggled_at_the.jpg)

I've seen chipped ceramic figurines at car boot sales that would make you want to cave your eyes out with an empty bleach bottle. but they pale compared to this abomination.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 24, 2018, 10:33:43 PM
Dolls, dressed by their doll parents for their empty existence.

Gas wouldn't even work
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 25, 2018, 08:01:41 AM
April 2019 - Blodz does the decent thing and bullies me out of it.

Actually you would suit the look. Tough guys always look good in silk
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 25, 2018, 08:50:40 AM
When you look at the state of that above could it be any more obvious why the Royal Family need to be gathered up into a truck and, quite literally, pulped.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on September 25, 2018, 10:18:19 AM
"military-style knickerbockers in periwinkle blue"
Which military wears knickerbockers?  KNICKERBOCKERS?!

Oh they're modernising the royal family alright.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 25, 2018, 10:54:14 AM
Actually you would suit the look. Tough guys always look good in silk

I’ll pick up some silk pantaloons for the next Toronto meet. We can all try them on and see who wears them best.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on September 25, 2018, 11:12:18 AM
Actually the more I look at that picture the more freaked I am about the hands. What's going on with his hands!!!?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on September 25, 2018, 11:27:50 AM
"military-style knickerbockers in periwinkle blue"
Which military wears knickerbockers?  KNICKERBOCKERS?!

That was my first thought. 'Not those effeminate nancy-boy knickerbockers, in powder blue with white stockings and a smock blouse...'

Reaching a little, but the Greek Army has an absolutely darling ceremonial get up:
(https://changing-guard.com/images/world-wide/athens-greece-01.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on September 25, 2018, 11:30:25 AM
Has anyone explained why they decided to top the whole ensemble off with a pair of mangy-looking white loafers?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 25, 2018, 12:21:50 PM
"military-style knickerbockers in periwinkle blue"
Which military wears knickerbockers?  KNICKERBOCKERS?!

Oh they're modernising the royal family alright.

I think Luxembourg do.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on September 25, 2018, 01:01:16 PM
Speaking of Ruritanian fantasists, I went to Dorset on my hols this year and took a look at the current state of Poundbury.

I was last there in about 2000, when it was quite new, and quite small - it looked, and was being criticised for, being twee, overly picturesque, harking back to a nostalgic village idyll.

Fuck me though - now, it's about five times the size, and the architecture is 'Albert Speer does Port Merion'. Mental. There's a pub called The Duchess of Cornwall. Waitrose is in a 5 storey Venetian palazzo, on one side of a Florentian piazza named after the Queen Mother (complete with monumental bronze statue).

It's going to go mEnTaL when this prick's mum dies.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 25, 2018, 09:16:02 PM
(https://i.postimg.cc/gc38F2TK/4499004-6199275-_Five_year_old_George_laughed_and_giggled_at_the.jpg)

I've seen chipped ceramic figurines at car boot sales that would make you want to cave your eyes out with an empty bleach bottle. but they pale compared to this abomination.

You need to see the full picture, as Cannot is in the background doing...I'm not sure, exactly...some bizarroland gestures from the mothership, too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quote on September 26, 2018, 12:21:48 AM
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/princess-eugenie-royal-wedding-fiance-1908493

Quote
Taxpayers will face a £2million security bill for Princess Eugenie’s wedding when she gets married at Windsor Castle in October, it has been reported.

Parasitic vermin.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on September 26, 2018, 12:47:07 AM
I think it is easy to say “million” or “billion” and not fully comprehend the number. That is 10,000GBP for 200 people. That’s a lot, man. I’d rather give the cash out randomly than pay that.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Twit 2 on September 26, 2018, 07:05:58 AM
gah
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: bim sherman shirts on September 26, 2018, 01:40:26 PM
Woman shuts door

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45650969 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45650969)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cursus on September 26, 2018, 01:45:46 PM
Quote from: BBC News
The feminist and former UN advocate has form for this sort of behaviour. Last week, at the launch of a charity cookbook, the former Suits actress again closed her own car door.

Earlier this month, one US journalist even claimed to have seen Meghan in a London street clearing up after her dog. However, it was not verified to have been the Duchess herself.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on September 26, 2018, 01:45:50 PM
Woman shuts door

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45650969 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45650969)



I can't see this creature ever closing his own doors, not with those weird hands of his:

(https://i.postimg.cc/gc38F2TK/4499004-6199275-_Five_year_old_George_laughed_and_giggled_at_the.jpg)

I think they've been designed for waving only, and to occasionally slap peasants.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on September 26, 2018, 01:53:23 PM
I think I'd happily burn down the UK and everyone in it at this point.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 26, 2018, 02:01:16 PM
So whilst little Anthony was wishing people into the cornfield, mother Kate was being raptured. Nothing surprises me about this lot anymore

(http://i.imgur.com/M3JoC5Sl.jpg) (https://imgur.com/M3JoC5S)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on September 26, 2018, 02:11:51 PM
We should work on a Venn diagram for the defining characteristics of the royals. As far as I can see the requisite sets would be mad, miserable and malevolent. Oh, and moronic.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on September 26, 2018, 02:19:14 PM
We should work on a Venn diagram for the defining characteristics of the royals. As far as I can see the requisite sets would be mad, miserable and malevolent. Oh, and moronic.

Was about to chip in 'cheerfully dim', but figured that might just as well be 'mad', and in any case, didn't alliterate.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 26, 2018, 03:52:39 PM
Was about to chip in 'cheerfully dim', but figured that might just as well be 'mad', and in any case, didn't alliterate.

'Manically muffled'?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on September 26, 2018, 04:02:29 PM
'Moronic' was added in edit, I think.

Just so this isn't a waste of a reply, I watched the Princess Margaret documentary, which seemed to be based a little on Craig Brown's book, and noticed them skating around the John Bindon rumours... well, the rumours about how talented he was, anyway. Her friends flat out denied that he did anything more than meet Yvonne.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on September 26, 2018, 06:37:43 PM
"moribund"

I like how pointing dude seems to be saying 'get these little shitsticks out of my sight.'

(http://i.imgur.com/M3JoC5Sl.jpg) (https://imgur.com/M3JoC5S)


a-and the woman in blue seems to be playing a mean air guitar.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 26, 2018, 06:43:39 PM
So whilst little Anthony was wishing people into the cornfield, mother Kate was being raptured. Nothing surprises me about this lot anymore

(http://i.imgur.com/M3JoC5Sl.jpg) (https://imgur.com/M3JoC5S)

Nah, I think she's pregnant again and the foetus just moved and she felt its horns.

Also why is Damien wearing a chef's jacket?

Princess Spare looks wonderfully pissed off though, like she's counting the days until she can abdicate and escape all this hideousness.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 26, 2018, 06:46:38 PM
Nah, I think she's pregnant again and the foetus just moved and she felt its horns.

Also why is Damien wearing a chef's jacket?

Chef's jacket, I'll forgive -- it's the Pat Boonesque penny loafers. Did that outfit come from the Land of Fiction?

(http://i.imgur.com/4WEpBHU.jpg) (https://imgur.com/4WEpBHU)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on September 26, 2018, 06:59:05 PM
Woman shuts door

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45650969 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45650969)

(https://www.itv.com/presscentre/sites/default/files/styles/pi_large/public/larry_grayson_shut_that_door.jpg?itok=MY-9DeKg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Chriddof on September 26, 2018, 08:15:07 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/M3JoC5Sl.jpg) (https://imgur.com/M3JoC5S)

Prince Midwich looks like he's doing The Robot here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXkW_pX1Z2Y
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on September 26, 2018, 08:20:40 PM
More like:

(https://static.nexilia.it/nextquotidiano/2016/11/fake-news-russia-propaganda-4.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on September 30, 2018, 01:42:34 PM
If your marshmallow business ever fails, you can always fall back on being a tour guide at a Scottish Inn.

(http://i.imgur.com/mejAhKB.jpg) (https://imgur.com/mejAhKB)

(http://i.imgur.com/0NVezia.jpg) (https://imgur.com/0NVezia)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on September 30, 2018, 03:50:29 PM
(http://i68.tinypic.com/ip7bkj.png)

(http://i64.tinypic.com/34fnn9i.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on October 03, 2018, 04:47:27 PM
Holy Fucking Shitballs!! Married couple visit south coast county!!!!!111eleven

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-england-sussex-45709499
Quote
It is the first time Harry and Meghan have visited Sussex together since being made Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

So does the Duke of Sussex have any special role in Sussex? Well, it's a Substantive title so...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substantive_title
Quote
The title is ceremonial and confers no political, territorial or civic prerogative as such

...that'll be a 'no'
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 12, 2018, 11:29:28 AM
BBC News has just informed me that Princess Eugenics has married that tequila bloke. I had no idea it was today and I suspect no-one else did either. £2 million for security for a wedding no-one gives a fuck about... congrats, E!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on October 12, 2018, 12:11:36 PM
*hands up*

I knew it was today - but only because I happened to be driving on that part of the M4/M25 yesterday where all the illuminated dot-matrix signs were giving me advance warning to 'Expect Delays' today in the Windsor area.

Imagine living your life with the constant subliminal reminder of the massive inconvenience you're putting everyone to. Oh, that's right: they cant.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 12, 2018, 03:09:12 PM
I thought it was tomorrow til my non-mad, but stilll Anglophile* friend back home emailed me (she's found a stream of it from somewhere to watch).

There's a great photo of Prince Philip staring scanners-style into the back of Fergie's neck during the service, but can't be arsed to find it again online.






*Not the one that collects teapots shaped like the Royal Family
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on October 12, 2018, 03:38:37 PM
At least now I know how to pronounce Eugenie.

Bye, I'm off to listen to my favourite singer, Bey-onse.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 12, 2018, 06:55:07 PM
This definitely calls for a Very Special Episode of The Windsors. Even more so that the Bants-Syoots merger.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dex Sawash on October 13, 2018, 04:58:15 AM
Daughter says syoots is pregnant, evidenced by her not looking as put together as she should, something about her jacket, at wedding.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cursus on October 13, 2018, 06:43:01 AM
Yeah. According to the Mail:

Quote
Meghan Markle's outfit at the royal wedding has sparked speculation on Twitter that the Duchess of Sussex could be pregnant...

One Twitter user said: 'Judging by the fact that she’s wearing a heavy coat indoors; Meghan Markle is either pregnant or the type to get chilly easily.'

Another wrote: 'I'm telling you now Meghan Markle is pregnant.'

'Something about Meghan's outfit choice makes me think she's pregnant and hiding a baby bump. It's so conservative,' another said.

A fourth commenter wrote: 'I guess Meghan’s pregnant. She didn’t take off her wide coat at any point do the wedding. You couldn’t even see her dress.

'Would be so nice for Harry and Meghan to have a baby.'

(https://i.postimg.cc/xdXV9RnB/skynews-prince-george-princess-charlotte-4451202.jpg)

(https://i.postimg.cc/26TRCXgd/4986472-6268715-image-m-73-1539341951871.jpg)

(https://i.postimg.cc/m2mY7NWd/4985784-6268715-image-a-60-1539340669057.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on October 13, 2018, 08:24:00 AM
Probably not allowed to announce it before the Wedding No One Gave Two Hoots About to avoid it becoming the Wedding That Was Alll About Meghan Markle Being Pregnant. It would have been the biggest upstaging since Pippa's arse.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 13, 2018, 08:39:23 AM
Probably not allowed to announce it before the Wedding No One Gave Two Hoots About to avoid it becoming the Wedding That Was Alll About Meghan Markle Being Pregnant. It would have been the biggest upstaging since Pippa's arse.

Yup -- same as youse above -- my first thought on seeing her in that big, lumpy coat. My money is on a 'premature' baby.

Quote
Wedding No One Gave Two Hoots About

Even my anglophile/queenie-watching mom said, 'There's a royal wedding today? Whose?  Whose? So who are they...are Prince Andrew's kids. Is he still around. T'uh.'


PS If youy didn't get your invite, you still have a chance at getting a Eugenie swag bag, oooh

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45846188
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 13, 2018, 03:09:02 PM
The swag bag is so shit I'm glad I didn't win the raffle ticket to attend.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 13, 2018, 05:10:28 PM
That's a sickening amount of white children and they look absolutely ghastly.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: kalowski on October 13, 2018, 07:19:52 PM

PS If youy didn't get your invite, you still have a chance at getting a Eugenie swag bag, oooh

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45846188
Contents:
Quote
It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 15, 2018, 08:55:17 AM
I KNEW I should have hit up the betting shop earlier this year.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45861683


Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 15, 2018, 09:40:03 AM
SYOOTS: "Oh my gawd Harry, isn't this amazing? You can give up all that tiring ledging you're getting too old for and we can have a nice quiet life together in one of your English castles! It's going to be so wonderful!"
BANTS: "..." [INWARDLY SCREAMS]

(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/10/14/22/5152C16800000578-6275285-The_Duke_and_Duchess_of_Sussex_pictured_have_arrived_in_Sydney_f-a-21_1539551041406.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quote on October 15, 2018, 12:05:10 PM
Another parasite parachutes in.

Freeloading prenatal cunt.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 15, 2018, 12:05:47 PM
I reckon Bants might go a bit Mark Corrigan here. Sneaking out of the Lindo Wing to get a KFC Bargain Bucket before Wills discovers him shooting yakuza at Namco. I don't think "bottle of whisky and random easyJet" will be an option though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 15, 2018, 12:42:35 PM
Hmmmm... bit paranoid?

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/call-brexit-timing-meghan-harrys-13419331

Will the birth of this new parasite be known as Meghxit?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quote on October 15, 2018, 01:02:38 PM
I like the idea that they have a stockpile of Royal sprogs hidden somewhere and they just fire another one out whenever the need arises, be it national crisis, slow news day or Royal PR predicament. It certainly feels that way, what with the rate Kate’s lobbing them out of her uterus.

It only seems like five minutes since these wasters were getting married. What with Kate’s ever growing army of children, yet another (massively expensive) Royal wedding and now Bantz getting in on the fatherhood racket it seems like they’re running the risk of over-exposure and a certain amount of public weariness.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Captain Z on October 15, 2018, 01:06:02 PM
In a tribute to both the wedding they upstaged and Brexit they'll name it 'EUgone'.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 15, 2018, 01:07:58 PM
If babby is due in the spring, let's say that's late March. That means she's only about 3-4 months gone at this point -- would she really be showing/need the giant coat at this stage?

I wonder if she'll go into seclusion around, oh, say January, and in March show up with a really, really healthy, big baby.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 15, 2018, 01:15:57 PM
Fuck off crap baby shit nothing burp of a cunt
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on October 15, 2018, 01:23:15 PM
If babby is due in the spring, let's say that's late March. That means she's only about 3-4 months gone at this point -- would she really be showing/need the giant coat at this stage?

Maybe it's quads.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 15, 2018, 01:32:08 PM
Maybe it's quads.

Perish the thought...

Over at the Mail all the comments on the story was how the announcement upstaged Eugenie's wedding on purpose.

A sheep eat sheep world.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on October 15, 2018, 01:49:43 PM
Over at the Mail all the comments on the story was how the announcement upstaged Eugenie's wedding on purpose.

So someone of no consequence to anyone, upstaged another total vacuum of importance and interest.
Who ARE these people, so absorbed in the tedious non-events in the lives of awful parasites?

Not arsed mate, off to get cigs.  See ya!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 15, 2018, 01:52:14 PM
I like the idea that they have a stockpile of Royal sprogs hidden somewhere and they just fire another one out whenever the need arises, be it national crisis, slow news day or Royal PR predicament.

The wedding of Wills and Kate actually was touted as a ray of sunshine which would lift the Nation's spirit after the onset of austerity...

What with Kate’s ever growing army of children, yet another (massively expensive) Royal wedding and now Bantz getting in on the fatherhood racket it seems like they’re running the risk of over-exposure and a certain amount of public weariness.

Perhaps they're just trying to ensure they will have enough Spares knocking about in the post-Brexit wasteland, so that when us unwashed hordes put down our rats-on-sticks and have them all lined up against the wall there's a chance that a few of them will survive. A bit like the Ocean Sunfish spawning billions of eggs, except Ocean Sunfish don't really deserve their reputation for being lazy useless grotesques (https://m.imgur.com/gallery/MMRg9).
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 15, 2018, 02:03:11 PM
The wedding of Wills and Kate actually was touted as a ray of sunshine which would lift the Nation's spirit after the onset of austerity...



was it ever thus, ... Attila?...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on October 15, 2018, 02:13:03 PM
Who ARE these people, so absorbed in the tedious non-events in the lives of awful parasites?

They are weirdly popular in Canada (and presumably the rest of the colonies). They’re always on the front of those shitty horrible magazines in grocery stores when Johnny depp or a kardashian is not available. At least those people (and all their relatives) aren’t funded by the public purse.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 15, 2018, 02:17:18 PM
They are weirdly popular in Canada (and presumably the rest of the colonies). They’re always on the front of those shitty horrible magazines in grocery stores when Johnny depp or a kardashian is not available. At least those people (and all their relatives) aren’t funded by the public purse.

Didn't you live two blocks from Meg or something and sold your story to OK Canada?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on October 15, 2018, 02:50:24 PM
Didn't you live two blocks from Meg or something and sold your story to OK Canada?

Me and a mate from Dublin were stumbling home out of PJ O’Brien’s on Colbourne street and came across a Suits filmset (corner of Colbourne and Church) and they asked us to be quiet and wait but we said nah mate, Suits is shit so we yelled something and walked off across the parking lot to get the King streetcar home. This delayed their filming by upwards of 30 seconds, and may have resulted in a minor annoyance for Hazza’s new squeeze.

If you are referring to that story, then OK Canada’s exact response was “no we won’t buy it, we are not interested, and please stop asking”. Serves them right for trying to film outside an Irish pub on a Friday night.

#LegendFerris
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 15, 2018, 04:30:29 PM
was it ever thus, ... Attila?...

I'm still waiting for her 'let them eat cake' moment.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 15, 2018, 06:16:53 PM
I'm still waiting for her 'let them eat cake' moment.

KEEP WRAPPING.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 15, 2018, 06:52:29 PM
KEEP WRAPPING.

::rolls eyes::






:D



eta ROYAL BABBIES SO MANY

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45864758

this is going to be a long, long gestation.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 15, 2018, 07:21:31 PM
Quote
It's a rainy, blustery Monday - but here's the news that's going to cheer us all up.
Another royal baby!
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's baby will be arriving in the spring - but because we quite simply can't wait until then, here are lots of lovely, squishy royal baby pictures to tide us over.
You're welcome.

A man from Leeds says "RELEASE THE STAGS!"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 15, 2018, 07:23:45 PM
Sadly no BBC journalist/toad put their name to that piece.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bronzy on October 15, 2018, 07:25:17 PM
I would have unprotected sex with Meghan

To be honest
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Crabwalk on October 15, 2018, 08:42:29 PM
I was a bit off with the date.

(http://i456.photobucket.com/albums/qq282/rdm1977/Baby%20Announcement%20FINAL_zpseds2d6ji.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 19, 2018, 09:58:44 PM
Puhppah had a sprog this week. I can't think of anything else to say about that really, not even a proper joke about it having the marshmallow flogging gene or something.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on October 19, 2018, 10:54:15 PM
Puhppah had a sprog this week. I can't think of anything else to say about that really, not even a proper joke about it having the marshmallow flogging gene or something.

You have to imagine it being born to the little musical cue her character has on The Windsors.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on October 20, 2018, 10:14:25 AM
"That bloke whose brother was on The Bachelor has got billions! Not millions, billions! That's nine zeroes!"

(I bet Kate actually is jealous- I would be...)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on October 27, 2018, 10:55:44 PM
Promises, promises...

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/queen-abdicate-95-allowing-charles-13487506
Quote
The Queen could stand aside at 95 allowing Charles to reign as regent in just three years time, according to an explosive new biography.

On her coronation in 1953, the Queen promised to serve her country for the rest of her life.

But it has long been speculated that Prince Charles could reign as a regent sooner than expected.

Now, in revelations in a new book by veteran royal correspondent Robert Jobson, it's suggested the Queen could pass on her duties as monarch when she reaches 95, reports Mail Online.

I guess they've got Operation 'Chucks Okay Actually' ready now.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 27, 2018, 11:46:57 PM
Quote
according to an explosive new biography

I thought they'd caught that mail bomber?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 28, 2018, 08:20:26 PM
Quote
The Queen could stand aside at 95 allowing Charles to reign as regent in just three years time, according to an explosive new biography.

On her coronation in 1953, the Queen promised to serve her country for the rest of her life.

Cunt of Death
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cursus on November 04, 2018, 08:54:04 AM
(https://i.postimg.cc/ryx5Pbvz/5694648-6346379-image-m-8-1541167392907.jpg)

Quote
Lara Mason, from Brownhills, spent 250 hours crafting Harry and Meghan cake which can feed up to 500 people and is life sized. Everything edible apart from the frames.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 04, 2018, 10:04:12 AM
Something about the Meghan's face really captures that frozen thousand-toothed arch-Yankee quality.

'Harold' looks like a bald ex-rower with a turd on his head.

I hope a bored curlew shits on them both the iced cunts
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 04, 2018, 12:44:44 PM
A facsimile of humanity. A cake.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on November 04, 2018, 02:33:53 PM
Well, there isn’t much to do in Brownhills.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 04, 2018, 11:44:58 PM
Congrats, Bants'n'Syoots!

(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/45125592_2033590283415090_6406852614373244928_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr3-1.xx&oh=afe2a58c4cc98b9e7822927014689faf&oe=5C3E2EB8)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Captain Z on November 05, 2018, 12:07:00 AM
(https://i.postimg.cc/ryx5Pbvz/5694648-6346379-image-m-8-1541167392907.jpg)

Sometimes you can almost understand why they're so eager to keep themselves locked away in a large palace away from the general public.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on November 05, 2018, 12:16:23 AM
^^^ 'kin' ell, what's going on with that rubber duckie? It looks more inbred than any of the Saxe-Coburg Gothas
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: greencalx on November 08, 2018, 10:15:50 PM
Big long piece on the Ten just now about how Chazza’s not going to shoot his mouth off when he takes the throne.

Do you think than means Queenie might have a heavy cold?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on November 08, 2018, 11:33:54 PM
Indeed.

Previously...

Promises, promises...

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/queen-abdicate-95-allowing-charles-13487506
Quote
The Queen could stand aside at 95 allowing Charles to reign as regent in just three years time, according to an explosive new biography.

I guess they've got Operation 'Chucks Okay Actually' ready now.

And now - what was the main headline until the shooting in the US - we see Operation COA ramping up...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46133114
Quote
The Prince of Wales says he will stop speaking out on topics he feels strongly about when he becomes king, as he is "not that stupid".

This is going to get sickening.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 09, 2018, 03:40:42 AM
Couple of rags, telegraph being one, have “doting grandpa Charles” on their front pages.

Transparent and sickening
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Uncle TechTip on November 09, 2018, 08:14:06 AM
Big long piece on the Ten just now about how Chazza’s not going to shoot his mouth off when he takes the throne.

Do you think than means Queenie might have a heavy cold?

No, they're promoting some documentary. Unless that's part of the scheme? Hmm...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on November 13, 2018, 06:33:47 PM
Operation 'Chucks Okay Actually' News

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/11/13/google-builds-royal-street-view-inside-prince-charles-homes/
Quote
Google builds "Royal Street View" inside Prince Charles' homes

They are some of the most exclusive addresses Britain has to offer: the London and Ayreshire residences of the Prince of Wales, and the Highgrove garden he considers his pride and joy.

As of this week, they are to be opened up for the world to see, as the Prince agrees to let a bespoke royal version of Google’s “street view” into his homes for a “tour without a ticket”.

Can't find an actual link to that.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/09/05/prince-charles-celebrate-70th-birthday-tv-magic-show-43-years/
Quote
Prince Charles to celebrate 70th birthday with TV magic show, 43 years after he joined Magic Circle

The Prince, who will turn 70 on November 14, is to be honoured with a London Palladium gala starring Britain’s finest magicians, at least one of whom he has supported throughout his career.

The gala, which will also see comedians take to the stage, is to be broadcast by ITV and named We Are Most Amused and Amazed, a play on Queen Victoria’s famous phrase.

ITV1 2000h tonight, Chuck fans.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on November 13, 2018, 06:37:26 PM
Will we get new money now or nah?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on November 14, 2018, 09:20:07 AM
You can't say he doesn't have the common touch! 

Prince Charles reveals love of 'groussaka' as he turns 70 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46202198)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 14, 2018, 01:01:57 PM
You can't say he doesn't have the common touch! 
Prince Charles reveals love of 'groussaka' as he turns 70 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46202198)

How in the name of cunting crikey is that news?
Makes it a bit difficult to defend the BBC with shit like this.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 14, 2018, 02:10:22 PM
How in the name of cunting crikey is that news?
Makes it a bit difficult to defend the BBC with shit like this.

Come now, just a bit difficult?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: SpiderChrist on November 14, 2018, 02:16:06 PM
I hope the jug-eared gouty cunt falls down a well.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 14, 2018, 04:36:10 PM
Come now, just a bit difficult?
I swear their news site used to be alright?  Now it's fucking garbage (as has been discussed a lot elsewhere).  Easy to avoid, but still annoying.

I hope the jug-eared gouty cunt falls down a well.
I hope the jug-eared gouty cunt falls down two wells.
Then forgets his P.E. kit.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 14, 2018, 05:02:45 PM
I swear their news site used to be alright?  Now it's fucking garbage (as has been discussed a lot elsewhere).  Easy to avoid, but still annoying.


Proving you are a younger me
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on November 14, 2018, 05:14:08 PM
Younger and sexier.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on November 19, 2018, 07:21:46 PM
Just saw the headline in today's Daily Mail.

"Prince of Cuddles"

Referring to Charles. It made me a little sick.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 19, 2018, 08:55:49 PM
ARRRGGHHHHHHHHH
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 19, 2018, 11:52:17 PM
ARRRGGHHHHHHHHH

Prince of Cuddles snuggles bald man of Leeds

"shall we get the tampon, puggles?"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on November 20, 2018, 12:11:04 AM
It doesn't even make sense. If, for example, he started farming small birds, Prince of Quails would make sense. If one of his properties was damaged in high winds, Prince of Gales would make sense. If he led a consortium that bought Currys then Prince of Retails could just about work. But Prince of Cuddles? Fuck, no.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 20, 2018, 02:10:08 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/3249938442/584a3911b4e421a6660ae77776ec2f2f_400x400.jpeg)

(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/12/14/23/3B632D2300000578-0-image-m-93_1481758782923.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Quote on December 11, 2018, 07:45:41 PM
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-pitches-for-a-new-60m-royal-yacht-wr2czw58b

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2018/11/08/prince-andrew-says-royal-yacht-britannia-can-tool-bag-help-british/amp/

Quote
A new royal yacht Britannia can be a “tool in the bag” to help Britain’s businesses develop trade relationships around the world, the Duke of York has suggested.

Complete tool proposes prospective new tool. Quite how this new yacht would help British business isn’t discussed in detail, maybe Andrew could use it to host parties full of underaged girls and then bargain with the security camera footage as primo blackmail material.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on December 11, 2018, 11:24:22 PM
I'm starting to go off this sack of cunts.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 13, 2018, 10:18:16 PM
I need a yacht too, with this yacht I too could convince a businessman I am not a nobody.

Where is my yacht

What's a yacht
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 14, 2018, 12:53:15 PM
Does Wills know that Jimmy Carr is the father of that small child?

(http://i.imgur.com/p3H7tNd.jpg) (https://imgur.com/p3H7tNd)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 14, 2018, 01:20:49 PM
I just came here to post that- Spare II is looking almost as evil as Damien McOmenface. I love the way that photo just screams "Merry Christmas! We're all off to shoot some animals!"

Bants and Syoots' effort:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/15EE6/production/_104803898_megharxmas_chrisallerton.jpg)

Black and white with hi-contrast to hide Bants' bald patch, watch and learn Wills. It also makes them look like they've got the same skin tone so the average spluttering Daily Mail-reading royalist won't be too perturbed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 14, 2018, 02:06:52 PM
From behind and with that posture, Bants looks like Prince Philip.

Less fireworks, and more watching the world burn or something.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on December 14, 2018, 03:31:27 PM
It really does look like they're romantically entwined, whilst watching a small third-world town being bombed to fuck.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on December 14, 2018, 03:44:05 PM
Wow the first thing that struck out to me was how bald Bants is. Was certain it was Wills for that reason.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Captain Z on December 14, 2018, 03:45:32 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/p3H7tNd.jpg) (https://imgur.com/p3H7tNd)

That is one smug baby.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on December 14, 2018, 03:53:11 PM
That is one smug baby.

Already gone bald though. You can’t fight genetics.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cuellar on December 14, 2018, 03:59:05 PM
This thread shouldn't be allowed to be bumped unless one of them dies. I always get disappointed.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 14, 2018, 05:11:00 PM
That is one smug baby.

Because he knows he can grow up to be the Andrew/Bants of his generation.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 17, 2018, 12:58:53 PM
Because he knows he can grow up to be the Andrew/Bants of his generation.

...and even if he does grow up to be the Edward/StayPuft Middleton of the family, it won't matter. Smug? Of course you'd be smug.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 17, 2018, 01:12:00 PM
Bants won't be attending the traditional Boxing Day shoot because Syoots doesn't want him shooting animals, apparently:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6502009/RICHARD-KAY-asks-Meghan-rebellious-just-proud-different.html

Quote
We have been here before, of course. Last year Harry also missed the pheasant shoot — but then he and Meghan were not yet married and his decision seemed loving and considerate.

Last year he was giving the poor naive commoner a bit of leeway, aww how sweet, this year she's his bloody wife and should bloody well act like it and just know her place and slap on a fake grin while traipsing after him through a muddy field as the bloodied pheasant corpses pile up. What a henpecking bitch. Diana didn't like hunting either but that was seen as A Good Thing...

Really it's just depressing how many people believe all this shite from "a source close to the Royal Family", "an anonymous friend" etc.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on December 17, 2018, 02:51:20 PM
Really it's just depressing how many people believe all this shite from "a source close to the Royal Family", "an anonymous friend" etc.

Mate down the pub says...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on December 17, 2018, 07:02:37 PM
Bants and Syoots' effort:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/15EE6/production/_104803898_megharxmas_chrisallerton.jpg)

Black and white with hi-contrast to hide Bants' bald patch, watch and learn Wills. It also makes them look like they've got the same skin tone so the average spluttering Daily Mail-reading royalist won't be too perturbed.

It's probably not even them.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bennett Brauer on December 18, 2018, 11:11:51 AM
Mr & Mrs Ron Howard.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 21, 2018, 05:48:35 PM
Mr & Mrs Ron Howard.

Ron and Clint Howard
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 22, 2018, 06:44:51 AM
Does Wills know that Jimmy Carr is the father of that small child?

(http://i.imgur.com/p3H7tNd.jpg) (https://imgur.com/p3H7tNd)

Skimming past it I thought thst baby had an enormous left hand.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 22, 2018, 12:43:57 PM
Skimming past it I thought thst baby had an enormous left hand.

Inherited from his grandfather Charles 'Big Hands' Windsor.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on December 25, 2018, 08:04:54 PM
Prince Philip wasn't at church this morning because he decided he'd rather stay at home. It definitely wasn't  because he's ill.





DEAD SOON
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bazooka on December 25, 2018, 08:12:43 PM
Prince Philip wasn't at church this morning because he decided he'd rather stay at home. It definitely wasn't  because he's ill.





DEAD SOON

An inside source has stated he has just started playing Skyrim for the first time.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on December 25, 2018, 11:26:18 PM
I wonder how Syoots felt that the Queen had a clip of Eugenie's wedding first before Bants & Syoots' merger (we scrutinise every detail of the speech for hidden messages).

Also, I have to admit, I like Kate's red hat today; no idea how to successfully Google one up. 'Red wool crownless hat' produces all sorts of things, but not that hat.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 07, 2019, 11:14:27 AM
Useless anecdote: I've just spent the past week or so with my non-tosser brother here in Ocala, FL, and he's hooked in with a guy who's got a booth at a big flea market here in Marion County (my brother is a mechanic, and will ocassionally do auto parts shows and things like that, hence having a lot of interesting cronies).

Said crony has been doing this flea market for about 20 years or so, and when he met me sez, 'Hey, your brother says you came over here from England.'

Me: Yup, you are correct.

Him: You know I've got a coins stand at the big flea market, yeah?

Me: Ayup, I do.

Him: You'll never guess who ran the stand next to mine for about 15 years and in fact is one of my cronies.

Me: Nope, I don't.

Him: Samantha Markle.

Me: Get outta here.

Him: Yep -- I'm going out to her house later on this week -- tell your bro to bring you along.

Of course it's the day after I have to fly back.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on January 09, 2019, 11:28:34 PM
I met “prince” Phillip at a charity function. He was surprisingly down to earth, and very funny.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 10, 2019, 04:13:41 PM
Meanwhile..Syoots showed up as patron of a charity whilst wearing a £5000 outfit. She's also now patron of the National Theatre.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 10, 2019, 04:50:43 PM
Meanwhile..Syoots showed up as patron of a charity whilst wearing a £5000 outfit. She's also now patron of the National Theatre.

Good on her! Hip hip hooray! Who says the Royals don’t work.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 17, 2019, 06:36:27 PM
Has there ever been a more disappointing headline than this?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46912691
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 17, 2019, 06:51:44 PM
Has there ever been a more disappointing headline than this?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46912691

Quote
The duke retired from public life in August 2017.

Retired, but still causing havoc.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: kalowski on January 17, 2019, 07:18:55 PM
Christ. Driving in that doddery state. How many people has he unknowingly killed?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on January 17, 2019, 07:22:12 PM
Christ. Driving in that doddery state. How many people has he unknowingly killed?

Absolutely loads of women in the colonies with VD back in the day, allegedly.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: hummingofevil on January 18, 2019, 12:02:34 AM
Next Royal gathering.

"I want to die like my grandad, peacefully in his sleep; not screaming and terrified like the Queen in the passenger seat." - Prince Harry

"Unhurt lad. Unhurt" - Prince Phillip

Everyone else looks around awkwardly.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 18, 2019, 12:08:52 AM
This execrable quote from a “royal biographer” is beyond belief. How could you say these things and look yourself in the mirror? I’m amazed the beeb published it uncritically.

Quote
"Some years ago he gave up flying planes long before he needed to because he was scared that if something happened there would be a lot of criticism. You know, why was he, at the age of 55, still flying a plane when he should have retired at 48 or something like that. So he does listen to these things - he's very, very sensible.

If anyone's involved in a car accident, it's quite a frightening thing. If he thought that he'd lost concentration or something or he hadn't seen somebody he would realise he's not up to it anymore."

Maybe he really believes that.

I also note that the rozzers breath-tested everyone at the scene for some reason (but claim everything was negative and the Lizardman was whipped back into his private terrarium at great speed, away from prying public servants). I wonder why.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on January 18, 2019, 07:51:04 AM
It's all like some low-budget British take on Les Miserables.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 18, 2019, 11:02:14 AM
I also note that the rozzers breath-tested everyone at the scene for some reason (but claim everything was negative and the Lizardman was whipped back into his private terrarium at great speed, away from prying public servants). I wonder why.

I refuse to believe that one of the royal family has actually passed a breathalyser test. They're all pissheads- the CoD drinks Dubonnet for breakfast FFS.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 19, 2019, 06:04:07 PM
We've only gone and bought the decrepit old cunt a brand new Land Rover to crash into some more plebs:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46933739
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 19, 2019, 08:16:38 PM
We've only gone and bought the decrepit old cunt a brand new Land Rover to crash into some more plebs:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46933739

Reading this... there was a 9 month old infant in the other car?!

That wasn’t included in the initial coverage, though I imagine it’s a fairly key piece of information. Good on the member of the public for not beating the absolute shit out of him. I’d sue for emotional distress at the absolute least - no court in the land would say a pissed-up doddery 97 year old man has the unerring right to drive around injuring people. Try and get some of your taxes back from the public purse.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 19, 2019, 08:40:20 PM
He doesn't give a fuck, sadly.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bronzy on January 19, 2019, 11:16:15 PM
Good on the member of the public for not beating the absolute shit out of him.

To be fair, beating up a 97 year old man isn't a good look even at the best of times.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 19, 2019, 11:19:03 PM
To be fair, beating up a 97 year old man isn't a good look even at the best of times.

For endangering (or possibly injuring/killing) your infant son? I imagine the red mist would descend.

Especially as he’s upside down in a taxpayer Land Rover. You could say you did as a satire or something if you got caught.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 19, 2019, 11:19:07 PM
He doesn't give a fuck, sadly.

Indeed:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46935721

Quote
Emma Fairweather, who broke her wrist in the crash, has told the Mirror the duke has not apologised.

A Palace spokesman said contact had been made with the occupants of the car to exchange "well-wishes".

Ms Fairweather told the Sunday Mirror that "I'm lucky to be alive and he hasn't even said sorry".

"It has been such a traumatic and painful time and I would have expected more of the Royal Family," she added.

She said she had not heard from the royal household but had got a call from a police family liaison officer.

"The message he passed on didn't even make sense. He said, 'The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh would like to be remembered to you,'" she said.

"That's not an apology or even a well-wish."


He's also been given a rap on the knuckles for not wearing a seatbelt but that's it. These fuckers are untouchable.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 19, 2019, 11:20:36 PM
Indeed:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46935721

He's also been given a rap on the knuckles for not wearing a seatbelt but that's it. These fuckers are untouchable.

Until the lawsuit and his “sun blindness” is tested in court...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bronzy on January 19, 2019, 11:28:02 PM
For endangering (or possibly injuring/killing) your infant son? I imagine the red mist would descend.

Especially as he’s upside down in a taxpayer Land Rover. You could say you did as a satire or something if you got caught.

Being known as the person who battered the fuck out of Prince Philip would probably guarantee you a lifetime of abuse, I imagine.

Would be a great thing to put on your CV though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 19, 2019, 11:34:07 PM
Being known as the person who battered the fuck out of Prince Philip would probably guarantee you a lifetime of abuse, I imagine.

Would be a great thing to put on your CV though.

What, he got some extra bruises? His car is on its roof - you’d get off scot free. Though I think we’ve strayed from the point I was making.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bronzy on January 20, 2019, 12:33:02 AM
What, he got some extra bruises? His car is on its roof - you’d get off scot free. Though I think we’ve strayed from the point I was making.

I now have this thought in my head of the person posting on Facebook "Just battered Prince Philip" and I am dying of laughter.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 20, 2019, 12:38:06 AM
I now have this thought in my head of the person posting on Facebook "Just battered Prince Philip" and I am dying of laughter.

“Queen Elizabeth liked this!”
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 20, 2019, 01:15:36 AM
I now have this thought in my head of the person posting on Facebook "Just battered Prince Philip" and I am dying of laughter.

To be fair, it would probably lead to his demise, so not so bad after all.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bronzy on January 20, 2019, 01:53:25 AM
To be fair, it would probably lead to his demise, so not so bad after all.

For him (and most people over the age of 97), death is probably the most humane thing that can happen.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on January 21, 2019, 05:18:51 PM
Hahahahaha...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-46944912


Quote
Debris said to be from a crash involving the Duke of Edinburgh was put up for sale on eBay.

Seller morbius777 said the debris was from the collision near King's Lynn, Norfolk, on Thursday.

The listing, which has now been removed, said it "may even have Phil's DNA on it, if you wanted to clone him".

Jeez, don't give Prince Edward ideas...
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: jobotic on January 21, 2019, 05:25:04 PM
Quote
"The message he passed on didn't even make sense. He said, 'The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh would like to be remembered to you,'" she said.

"That's not an apology or even a well-wish."

To me it sounds more like a threat.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on January 28, 2019, 09:51:19 AM
Excellent picture from Davos:

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/DB8C/production/_105340265_88455fa3-7107-4be1-b743-1ac17a5e4ffd.jpg)

New page David Attenborough bat avatar attacking Prince William
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Noddy Tomkey on February 18, 2019, 08:08:05 PM
Just realised I could've posted this here:

Community theatre performance of genius, from the long grass:

https://twitter.com/ryanbloomquist/status/1096965243614519296?s=09
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on February 19, 2019, 08:10:51 AM
Why watch clips, when the whole thing is on Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhpCMJACpzk

That's my afternoon sorted.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: petrilTanaka on February 19, 2019, 11:02:57 AM
Diana being played by someone who's seen ten minutes of House of Fools and gone "yeah, her"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on February 19, 2019, 11:53:42 AM
I can't watch it in more than 10 minute bursts.

I'm having a hard time telling who's who.

This is amazing. So quotable.

'Yer thurty yahs old, Chahles, it's time ya found yer wifuh.'

The prom/bridesmaids dresses  from Goodwill :3

I love this play so much.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: shiftwork2 on February 20, 2019, 12:01:12 AM
I had a root canal earlier today.  It was more enjoyable than Princess Diana, The Musical.  The pulpectomy, the widening of the canals with a coarse drill, the files clearing out live tissue from within my jawbone.  Walk in the park by comparison mate, with a blissful picnic at the end.  A lovely field by an oak tree, plates in the hamper restrained by those criss-cross straps, sandwiches with the crusts cut off.  Overhead, a swallow titters.  Ahhh
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on February 20, 2019, 09:28:31 AM
Why watch clips, when the whole thing is on Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhpCMJACpzk

That's my afternoon sorted.

I've only started watching this. Is it a worse car crash than the actual car crash prince Gollum was in the other week? O-or that other car crash from before.. you know the one I mean.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on February 20, 2019, 01:05:58 PM
Handy Daily Mail "Syoots Is A Bitch" round-up, with one token article telling people that all the bullying of Syoots is wrong and that the bullies should stop, despite them being encouraged by the Mail in the first place:

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1091305722242056193.html
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on February 28, 2019, 10:29:59 AM
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/1275D/production/_105831657_daily-mirror-front-page-feb.jpg)

Looks more like a billiard ball to me.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on February 28, 2019, 10:48:48 AM
What a fucking idiot.  Footballers aren't people are they?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 28, 2019, 02:35:00 PM
He's a man on a mission. Seeking mental health problems wherever he may find them. Next - William's anger at clubs: Crown Green Bowl's SHAME - He says older players are often left isolated and bereft as the sun sets over the green lawns, vacantly staring into the approaching darkness.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 01, 2019, 05:06:03 PM
Behold "The Kate Effect":

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47413269
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 01, 2019, 05:15:08 PM
She’s slipped effortlessly from bright young modernising influence to middle-aged frump in a mere 5 years.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 09, 2019, 01:14:43 AM
Oh Syoots, I can't help liking you:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47499096

Bants is a feminist? Top trolling, Syoots.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on March 09, 2019, 02:22:04 AM
Oh Syoots, I can't help liking you:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47499096

Bants is a feminist? Top trolling, Syoots.

Hasn’t she been pregnant for about 5 years at this point? This level of inactivity is worse than Brexit.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: hummingofevil on March 09, 2019, 11:18:01 AM
She’ll be knocking them out one after the other until time comes when Phillip carks it. Even he wouldn’t be callous enough to have a pregnant one bumped off.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on March 09, 2019, 02:12:16 PM
She’ll be knocking them out one after the other until time comes when Phillip carks it. Even he wouldn’t be callous enough to have a pregnant one bumped off.

Err... Yeah he would. This is the guy who only the other month had a very good crack at killing an infant in a road-traffic accident. Have the commemorative mugs already been forgotten?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on March 09, 2019, 02:23:31 PM
Err... Yeah he would. This is the guy who only the other month had a very good crack at killing an infant in a road-traffic accident. Have the commemorative mugs already been forgotten?

God no! I still drink out of mine almost every day.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on March 30, 2019, 10:05:30 AM
"Mummy!"

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/404E/production/_106226461_95950d9c-2937-4c1c-b1bd-2e16e3c9c233.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 03, 2019, 02:52:04 PM
Bants and Syoots have joined Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/sussexroyal/

So modern, so in-touch with the plebs... nah, I can't be cynical here, this is exactly the kind of thing the Royals need isn't it?

It'll probably work out pretty well for The Cool Prince and The Woke Princess as well. No easel outside Buck House to announce the birth of Baby Bants-Syoots, oh no- it'll be an Instagram post with #nofilter
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 03, 2019, 03:15:02 PM
Hasn’t she been pregnant for about 5 years at this point? This level of inactivity is worse than Brexit.

This is Megxit, remember? Megxit has been delayed because Brexit has been delayed. It'll arrive whenever Brexit does.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 04, 2019, 12:29:55 PM
Hmmm, this is a bit of a dick move by Instagram:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-47813521
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on April 04, 2019, 01:41:33 PM
Hmmm, this is a bit of a dick move by Instagram:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-47813521

'Digital squatting'? Surely that (still pretty spurious) concept can only apply to otherwise inactive accounts that have demonstrably been registered to be sold on (i.e. are actually for sale.) Even then it suggests there's some kind of automatic right to a handle/domain/whatever if it's your name or brand name etc. even if you haven't registered it yourself and/or your use for it came into existence later, as with this bloke who's been using it for years before the Duke and Duchess of Sussex even existed. If I registered greggsinspace.com or @marsgreggs tomorrow then in a few years when Greggs opens an extraterrestrial branch I had it swiped I'd be quite annoyed.

In a not particularly interesting aside, the domain 'password.com' is available, which I'm surprised at. I only found this out the other day in one of those fb posts asking you to put (your cat's name).com and see what comes up. I'm one of those probably overly suspicious types who always thinks those things are ruses to get passwords so I put password.com, and lo, it is for sale. Doesn't say how much for though.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 04, 2019, 06:09:28 PM
When Wills'n'Kate and Harry were due to visit Amiens for the centenary of the Battle of the Somme, the only five-star hotel near the battlefields was fully booked. Their people asked the hotel's owners if they could just chuck a few of the plebs out so Prince Baldy, Duchess Donothing and Bants wouldn't have to slum it in a four-star place. They told them to fuck off (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/theroyalfamily/12186219/Duke-and-Duchess-of-Cambridge-and-Prince-Harry-turned-down-by-French-hotel-for-Battle-of-the-Somme-visit.html). That's how it's done.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 04, 2019, 10:01:53 PM
Say what you like about the French, but they know how to deal with royalty.

(https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7WIxcH5FmYz82LSw/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on April 04, 2019, 10:08:03 PM
The last two posts go some way to explaining why I'm such a Francophile.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: MiddleRabbit on April 04, 2019, 10:37:04 PM
The last two posts go some way to explaining why I'm such a Francophile.

Me too.   They don't take any shit, do they?  The instant anyone starts playing silly buggers, they barricade the ports and start setting fire to sheep.  Berets off to them, I say.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on April 05, 2019, 07:19:29 AM
Adding another to the list of why the French make me happy even when they're yelling at me for speaking really bad French.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on April 05, 2019, 01:13:20 PM
If I ran the only 5 star hotel around and it transpired the Royals would be staying elsewhere, I'd tell everyone I'd had to turn them away too.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 05, 2019, 02:23:55 PM
Didn't the royals have a fancy railway carriage that they could sleep in? Like a motor caravan, but you can fuck up the rail schedules with it. They should bring that back, what with Eurotunnel they could send it all over the place and not bother a single French hotel ever again.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: momatt on April 05, 2019, 02:42:27 PM
Didn't the royals have a fancy railway carriage that they could sleep in?
I think they still do.  We should arrange a nice big family holiday for the lot of them.
Load them all into it.

Then launch the fucker off a cliff.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on April 05, 2019, 04:02:12 PM
(http://enacademic.com/pictures/enwiki/79/Old_Dalby_nuclear_flask_test-by-Brian-Robert-Marshall.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 11, 2019, 05:09:21 PM
Enjoying hate-reading the comments here:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6911111/Harry-Meghan-baby-plans-private-Kensington-Palace-syas.html

Bants and Syoots won't be having their sprog in an expensive private room in the Lindo Wing, and they won't be announcing the birth until they've had a bit of private time with the sprog first. Cue Daily Mail readers attacking Syoots for supposedly not knowing her place and forgetting that as taxpayers she owes us a proper announcement and photocall on the Lindo Wing steps (nothing sinister and Handmaid's Tale-esque about claiming someone's newborn child as property of the state, oh no).

If they'd followed the usual drill no doubt they'd be complaining about her spending Our Bloody Taxes on private healthcare, and then accuse Syoots of being an attention-seeker as she presented Baby Bants to the sycophants. She can't win, these closet racists will hate her whatever she does.

I'm liking her more and more... ;)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 11, 2019, 05:14:04 PM
Just send them all an stock photo of baby in mothers arms downloaded from internet
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on April 12, 2019, 01:23:24 PM
Is Prince Damien McOmenface also property of the state? As a taxpayer can I demand a go at dropkicking him into a volcano?

Prince Damien, Princess Spare and The Other One should at least be put to work sweeping chimneys or something.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on April 21, 2019, 03:50:57 PM
I’m sure all Cabbers will join me in giving the Cunt of Death our best wishes as she begins the 94th pointless year of her existence.

How are you marking the day?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Absorb the anus burn on April 21, 2019, 03:57:50 PM
^

I'm celebrating the day by vomiting into a rusty sweetcorn can.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: fatguyranting on April 26, 2019, 01:53:46 PM
It's weird that all the international press is reporting very detailed, very precise details of an alleged affair between the balding future king and a posh neighbour but the UK tabloids haven't touched it so far. Beyond dropping some subtle hints. You'd think they'd be going gangbusters.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 26, 2019, 01:58:36 PM
It's weird that all the international press is reporting very detailed, very precise details of an alleged affair between the balding future king and a posh neighbour but the UK tabloids haven't touched it so far. Beyond dropping some subtle hints. You'd think they'd be going gangbusters.

They'd be ruined if they do.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on April 26, 2019, 04:02:11 PM
It's weird that all the international press is reporting very detailed, very precise details of an alleged affair between the balding future king and a posh neighbour but the UK tabloids haven't touched it so far. Beyond dropping some subtle hints. You'd think they'd be going gangbusters.

There’s even a Giles Corey tweet about it. Once Giles-y is in the know, it’s a matter of of time before everyone else knows too. See also: that tweet he did about Giggsy’s super injunction.

https://popculture.com/celebrity-couples/2019/04/26/tweets-reveal-prince-william-affair-rumor-going-viral/
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 26, 2019, 04:05:43 PM
There’s even a Giles Corey tweet about it. Once Giles-y is in the know, it’s a matter of of time before everyone else knows too. See also: that tweet he did about Giggsy’s super injunction.

https://popculture.com/celebrity-couples/2019/04/26/tweets-reveal-prince-william-affair-rumor-going-viral/

what a piece of trash site that is. GOOO GOOO GAAA GAAAA HMMMM GAAAAAAAAAAA!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 26, 2019, 04:11:57 PM
(https://i.ibb.co/wrRZRF0/Untitled.png) (https://ibb.co/R49G9kv)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on April 26, 2019, 04:17:57 PM
what a piece of trash site that is. GOOO GOOO GAAA GAAAA HMMMM GAAAAAAAAAAA!

It’s a load of absolute toss, no question. It was the first result on google, and I’ve only just googled this because I don’t follow The Firm and their daily comings (oo-err!) and goings.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: fatguyranting on April 26, 2019, 04:21:14 PM
So is there an injunction in place d'ya reckon? It just strikes me as very strange that whopping great hints are being dropped by the Sun/Mail et al, but no one seems prepared to even do an article on the rumours at the very least?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on April 26, 2019, 04:49:02 PM
So is there an injunction in place d'ya reckon? It just strikes me as very strange that whopping great hints are being dropped by the Sun/Mail et al, but no one seems prepared to even do an article on the rumours at the very least?

An injunction would stop you reporting on the allegation, a super injunction would stop you reporting on the fact you can’t report on the allegation - what is the rules around reporting on allegations or rumours reported by others?

Can the story be broke in non-UK papers, then UK papers can report on the fact that the NY Times is reporting on something? It’s all very Kafka-esque.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 27, 2019, 08:52:12 AM
They'd be ruined if they do.

Please please please
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 03, 2019, 03:28:46 PM
Ardent conservationalist and humanitarian Wills attended a service to commemorate 50 years of us having nuclear weapons:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48149055

He was booed, good... and why the fuck are we paying for Westminster Abbey to hold some kind of God Bless Are Brave Nukes service anyway?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 03, 2019, 03:50:03 PM
Ardent conservationalist and humanitarian Wills attended a service to commemorate 50 years of us having nuclear weapons:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48149055

He was booed, good... and why the fuck are we paying for Westminster Abbey to hold some kind of God Bless Are Brave Nukes service anyway?

we live in strange times (part 2)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Captain Z on May 03, 2019, 07:32:28 PM
They say that life is beyond satire these days, but a church service to celebrate 50 years of nuclear weapons? The actual fuck.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on May 04, 2019, 07:51:08 PM
Has she still not had that baby yet?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: icehaven on May 06, 2019, 03:24:13 PM
Has she still not had that baby yet?

As you were.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 06, 2019, 03:45:12 PM
Apparently, yes -- Express already pondering if it is destined to become king.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on May 06, 2019, 08:30:11 PM
Another Mr. Lizard.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: kalowski on May 06, 2019, 10:14:29 PM
Nicholas Witchell malfunctioning live on air.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: kalowski on May 06, 2019, 10:20:34 PM
https://twitter.com/studiodbd/status/1125509627905495041
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BritishHobo on May 06, 2019, 11:31:49 PM
Nicholas Witchell malfunctioning live on air.

Everyone is SHITTING themselves over this. Worrying, fretting, furiously tweeting that the BBC have refused to confirm if Nick is okay, attacking people making gags. I watched the video expecting some awful scary breakdown moment - the Express called it an 'excruciating moment'. All that fucking happened was he lost his train of thought, collected himself quite calmly, and then passed back to the studio. He's hardly been shot at by terrorists while reporting from a warzone.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Bazooka on May 07, 2019, 12:15:36 AM
Also he's been waiting in that spot, standing not sitting, since  The Prince shot his load, surviving only from moisture in the air and a packet of Skips.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: hummingofevil on May 07, 2019, 01:20:52 AM
Everyone is SHITTING themselves over this. Worrying, fretting, furiously tweeting that the BBC have refused to confirm if Nick is okay, attacking people making gags. I watched the video expecting some awful scary breakdown moment - the Express called it an 'excruciating moment'. All that fucking happened was he lost his train of thought, collected himself quite calmly, and then passed back to the studio. He's hardly been shot at by terrorists while reporting from a warzone.

Lizard Witchell tries to supress human Witchell from escaping.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 07, 2019, 01:29:11 AM
Of course, it all makes sense in light of the "incident" I refuse to divulge on CaB from back in the day with Nick.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 08, 2019, 04:52:47 PM
ARISE KING ARCHIBALD
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on May 08, 2019, 05:56:51 PM
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/743/cpsprodpb/51DA/production/_106845902_hi053826200.jpg)

That's not the real queen and Greek bloke. For starters, she's smiling, but also, their faces are all wrong. Looks nothing like the banknotes.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: greencalx on May 08, 2019, 07:32:56 PM
Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. Grave.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on May 08, 2019, 07:35:32 PM
Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. Grave.

Sounds like someone in the England U19 squad.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BritishHobo on May 08, 2019, 08:28:41 PM
What a little twerp.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: kalowski on May 08, 2019, 09:51:42 PM
Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. Grave.
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 08, 2019, 10:02:24 PM
(http://i11.tinypic.com/4p3mjd3.jpg)

(http://i64.tinypic.com/2qvqipc.jpg)

Not long now
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on May 08, 2019, 10:10:11 PM
(http://i11.tinypic.com/4p3mjd3.jpg)

(http://i64.tinypic.com/2qvqipc.jpg)

Not long now


Laughed
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 08, 2019, 10:15:04 PM
One is famously associated with a white vehicle of death, the other is Dr Kevorkian.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 09, 2019, 09:11:55 AM
Sounds like someone in the England U19 squad.

Really does
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on May 09, 2019, 10:32:01 AM
Once again the Mail nauseates me with a fawning baby related headline.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on May 09, 2019, 11:28:24 AM
One is famously associated with a white vehicle of death, the other is Dr Kevorkian.

Injecting karma into you
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Head Gardener on May 11, 2019, 12:31:23 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/WV3hNG2.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Dex Sawash on May 13, 2019, 03:46:17 AM
Pure Wimblewrong
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on May 26, 2019, 05:52:02 PM
Next CaB meet location opens:

https://www.devonlive.com/news/uk-world-news/theme-park-ride-based-princess-2903052
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: imitationleather on May 26, 2019, 06:14:03 PM
Next CaB meet location opens:

https://www.devonlive.com/news/uk-world-news/theme-park-ride-based-princess-2903052

I read about this and was unsure afterwards if it was real or a fever dream.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on May 26, 2019, 06:22:50 PM
I read about this and was unsure afterwards if it was real or a fever dream.

I read this and don’t fully understand what it is, though the chap they interviewed keeps enthusiastically saying “3D” in his responses. I don’t know why.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on May 27, 2019, 11:01:45 AM
Interesting how many times they say it's all done in the best possible taste/in good taste.

Quote from:  theme park guy
Turner added: "It’s definitely not in poor taste. It’s just showing the route of what happened.

"For people who’ve never been to Paris, it’s just showing the topography, and the distance, and the tunnel, and that kind of stuff. It’s done very professionally."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cursus on June 08, 2019, 02:30:06 PM
(https://i.postimg.cc/rF6w63vC/untitled.png)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on June 08, 2019, 03:43:56 PM
Were they all left in the small embryo tube too long?

(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/en.futurama/images/d/d5/Futurama_215_-_A_Clone_of_My_Own.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20071230230000)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on June 08, 2019, 03:46:01 PM
(https://i.postimg.cc/rF6w63vC/untitled.png)

some one please photoshop the future king of England there holding a fag and can of lager?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on June 08, 2019, 06:36:17 PM
if you want a half arsed job doing...

(https://i.imgur.com/kH2yhEy.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on June 08, 2019, 06:38:58 PM
(https://i.postimg.cc/rF6w63vC/untitled.png)

Prince Damien looks remarkably like Martin Clunes here.

Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 08, 2019, 06:40:16 PM
or Harry Enfield
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Cursus on June 08, 2019, 06:40:29 PM
(https://i.postimg.cc/FzSvS94G/untitled.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 08, 2019, 10:52:41 PM
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/743/cpsprodpb/51DA/production/_106845902_hi053826200.jpg)

That's not the real queen and Greek bloke. For starters, she's smiling, but also, their faces are all wrong. Looks nothing like the banknotes.

This is one of the most horrifying images I have ever seen, and I saw the poor irradiated bastards of Chernobyl this week.

IRRADIATE THE "QUEEN"
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 08, 2019, 11:38:02 PM
(https://i.ibb.co/rG1DDg5/Untitled.png) (https://ibb.co/JRMDDNr)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on June 09, 2019, 12:02:52 AM
Thx x
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on June 09, 2019, 12:06:59 AM
(https://i.postimg.cc/FzSvS94G/untitled.jpg)

Yesss
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on June 19, 2019, 09:27:37 PM
Them royals can't help it, gotta run over the plebs...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48685340
Quote
An elderly woman is in a serious condition in hospital after a road accident involving the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's police escort.

Prince William and Kate were travelling from London to Windsor when the woman, 83, was hurt on Monday.

The accident involved a marked police motorbike in the convoy, and the police watchdog is now investigating.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: buttgammon on June 19, 2019, 10:02:36 PM
This calls for another round of commemorative mug-making!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on June 20, 2019, 01:56:08 PM
This is so inane it actually made me die:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7161841/Mike-Tindall-reveals-miniature-hat-hid-inside-Royal-Ascot-chocolate.html#article-7161841
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Alberon on June 20, 2019, 02:00:49 PM
I bet grandad was so pleased at the ‘accident’. “You’ve bagged your first commoner, my boy. One is so proud of you.”
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: gilbertharding on June 20, 2019, 02:15:28 PM
This is so inane it actually made me die:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7161841/Mike-Tindall-reveals-miniature-hat-hid-inside-Royal-Ascot-chocolate.html#article-7161841

Mike Tindall's tiny chocolate top hat is an appurtenant metaphor. But how did he suppose it wouldn't melt?

Also in the sub-headline: "...put on an affectionate display..." made me gag.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on July 10, 2019, 03:34:49 PM
Queen Elizabeth pumped dry  (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-48933881)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 11, 2019, 05:32:24 PM
Shall we place bets on the repercussions of the ongoing Epstein business on "Prince" Andrew's outing as a nonce?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 11, 2019, 05:34:01 PM
(Also, hi. Been a way long time. Why is this in Picture Box? What's happened to the title? Are we just watching them generally rather than specifically their bullshit now, like Attila's American mum?)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: touchingcloth on July 11, 2019, 06:01:46 PM
Also also, someone should shop this:

(https://i.imgur.com/Sx6uPtr.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Attila on July 13, 2019, 06:50:15 PM
(Also, hi. Been a way long time. Why is this in Picture Box? What's happened to the title? Are we just watching them generally rather than specifically their bullshit now, like Attila's American mum?)

Sadly, the Queen is one of the few things my mom will/can talk to me about lately (she'll be 90 tomorrow) as age is finally catching up to her. Especially in this past year.

Shame, as she is/was nuts about the Queen and would rant about the antics of the younger members of the family, but her memory and awareness of the world outside her space is dwindling.*

Meanwhile, could someone, somewhere actually put Syoots into clothing that fits her and doesn't look like a £50K potato sack?




*Don't worry -- she lives with my non-tosser brother in a lovely bedsit attached to his house. She's cosy-as, as as long as she's still puttering around, she'll stay happily there.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blue Jam on July 22, 2019, 09:50:34 AM
Today Prince Damien McOmenface is celebrating his sixth birthday, and finally being allowed to wear normal clothes:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49064484

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/2806/production/_107964201_george3.jpg)

"England... One day you will be mine, England... All mine... MWAHAHAHAHAHA..."
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 22, 2019, 09:53:11 AM
Today Prince Damien McOmenface is celebrating his sixth birthday, and finally being allowed to wear normal clothes:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49064484

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/2806/production/_107964201_george3.jpg)

"England... One day you will be mine, England... All mine... MWAHAHAHAHAHA..."

YOU ARE ON BLACK LIST BLUE JAM RED MIST YELLOW FEVER

Please link the picture rather than torture our eyes with that filth
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Norton Canes on July 22, 2019, 11:47:24 AM
Are they trying to tell us something with that shirt?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on July 22, 2019, 12:42:33 PM
Are they trying to tell us something with that shirt?

That George will lead England First marches.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Camp Tramp on July 22, 2019, 12:43:00 PM
Cyriak needs to play around with that image.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 29, 2019, 08:50:10 AM
Lovely, challenging, endearing. Proud that she represents us.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49145664 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49145664)

I especially like that she has added a box with a mirror. I AM A FORCE FOR CHANGE. WOW! JUST...WOW!
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 31, 2019, 01:26:38 PM
See if this one will elicit a response from you lot

(https://thepaperboy.azureedge.net/frontpages/archive/Daily_Mirror_31_7_2019_400.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: EOLAN on July 31, 2019, 01:29:06 PM
See if this one will elicit a response from you lot

(https://thepaperboy.azureedge.net/frontpages/archive/Daily_Mirror_31_7_2019_400.jpg)

Will it be a Sophie's choice if they are due to have twins next time?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Blumf on July 31, 2019, 01:29:20 PM
Is that really the font The Mirror uses for it's front page headlines these days?
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: dr beat on July 31, 2019, 08:19:30 PM
Today Prince Damien McOmenface is celebrating his sixth birthday, and finally being allowed to wear normal clothes:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49064484

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/2806/production/_107964201_george3.jpg)

"England... One day you will be mine, England... All mine... MWAHAHAHAHAHA..."

Is that a new England shirt? Looks more like one of those hooky football tops you see in souvenir stalls on holiday.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Lordofthefiles on July 31, 2019, 08:47:46 PM
Has the poor little blighter only got one arm?

(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/2806/production/_107964201_george3.jpg)
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Jasha on July 31, 2019, 08:53:43 PM
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/2806/production/_107964201_george3.jpg)

You'd have thought with all their our money they we could afford a decent dentist
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Twit 2 on July 31, 2019, 09:21:48 PM
See if this one will elicit a response from you lot

(https://thepaperboy.azureedge.net/frontpages/archive/Daily_Mirror_31_7_2019_400.jpg)

Complete enteignen. Turn the palaces into benefits homes, fill them with Mick Philpotts. Put the old cunts in the zoo, pay a penny to see them like we did the lunatics in Bedlam. Compost the kids. DO IT NOW.
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 31, 2019, 09:30:25 PM
Candid Prince
Title: Re: Royal Family Watch
Post by: BlodwynPig on August 01, 2019, 07:37:18 AM