Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => Picture Box => Topic started by: Fambo Number Mive on March 29, 2018, 09:48:16 AM

Title: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on March 29, 2018, 09:48:16 AM
Kicking off with an interesting article from the BBC on whether adverts are deliberately being racist to get noticed.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-43554424

I am not sure if adverts are deliberately being racist but corporations certainly rely on offending people to get noticed. Look at how complaints to the ASA get them media coverage.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 29, 2018, 10:58:57 AM
It's quite hard to believe in 2018 rooms full of executives at an ad agency and rooms full of executives at the client business would fail to spot how that Heineken advert could be construed as racist, or indeed somehow miss spotting any ad with the potential to be anything-ist or -ophobic, so I'd be inclined to think there's some truth in that theory, although surely ''all publicity is good publicity'' has it's limits?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chriddof on March 29, 2018, 02:51:50 PM
Sadly Heineken have form with this. They sponsored the 1990s ITV late night music/chat show "Hotel Babylon" (not to be confused with the BBC drama from about ten years later) and the bosses at their Dutch headquarters apparently complained in a fax later leaked to the press that there wasn't enough shots of the beer, and that "there were too many black people". The resulting scandal ended up bringing down the whole show.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 29, 2018, 07:49:22 PM
Member the racist '90s Scalextric ad?

https://youtu.be/Spz_FIsmXRI

Thought it was earlier than '98.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 29, 2018, 07:52:00 PM
Of course the opposite of channelling outrage at something problematic is to channel the outrage of angry neckbeards. Can't help cynically thinking that's what was done with things like the Ghostbusters revamp.

I guess both of them involve pitting 'the sjw's' and 'the neckbeards' against each other so there's loads of noise that penetrates the consciousness of most normal people who lie somewhere between the two.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: marquis_de_sad on March 29, 2018, 08:10:20 PM
Member the racist '90s Scalextric ad?

https://youtu.be/Spz_FIsmXRI

Thought it was earlier than '98.

Isn't that Danny Cunningham (from 24 Hour Party People and I'm Alan Partridge)?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 29, 2018, 09:28:40 PM
That's an odd advert isn't it. I love it. Very post-modern acting.

Much better than the Ecosia advert guy I just saw pop up on Youtube.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on March 29, 2018, 11:05:18 PM
Fuck me. I don't reember that one.

But is it racist though? All it's driving home is that the child obviously isn't his, but he's too busy having his mind blown by the fact that he's got a son, so they can get a Scalextric, to notice?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 29, 2018, 11:40:25 PM
Fuck me. I don't reember that one.

But is it racist though? All it's driving home is that the child obviously isn't his, but he's too busy having his mind blown by the fact that he's got a son, so they can get a Scalextric, to notice?

It is a bit I think. Whether or not it's 'problematic' or not is probably a different question. I guess we can all agree if it was aired to day there would be lots of paragraphs in the newspapers and on the blogs telling us what to think about it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 30, 2018, 01:28:31 AM
It is a bit I think. Whether or not it's 'problematic' or not is probably a different question. I guess we can all agree if it was aired to day there would be lots of paragraphs in the newspapers and on the blogs telling us what to think about it.

it's a phenomenally strange advert though. Like a Jaaaam sketch without the humour.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: marquis_de_sad on March 30, 2018, 02:19:23 AM
If the baby's skin colour wasn't different from both parents, then how could the joke work?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bronzy on March 30, 2018, 02:37:10 AM
The fact that people (well, one person at least) still remember it despite it being over 20 years old sort of proves that it works as an advert.

All PR is good PR and all that.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Mister Six on March 30, 2018, 04:01:09 AM
Yeah, that's not racist. It's not saying anything about black people or even a specific black person. Some identity politics wanker could probably still get a 9,000-word Tumblr post out of it though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on March 30, 2018, 10:46:38 AM
There is no one simple answer to this. Which is why both extremes of the political spectrum so love these things - they can use it to justify whatever the hell they want. On the one hand, it’s a race of people being reduced to a punchline, with them set out as the other, the unexpected, the unwanted, the wrong; on the other, well, it’s almost inclusive, isn’t it? He’s seeing past the obvious difference to focus on what unites them instead.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Depressed Beyond Tables on March 30, 2018, 09:23:17 PM
It's not racist. It's sexist.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on March 30, 2018, 10:43:43 PM
Back to the present day, hearing Paloma Faith foghorning out a perfectly pleasant Mama Cass song every fifteen minutes is pissing me right off is delightfully quirky.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 31, 2018, 11:28:56 AM
Back to the present day, hearing Paloma Faith foghorning out a perfectly pleasant Mama Cass song every fifteen minutes is pissing me right off is delightfully quirky.

Paloma Faith's media presence consistently surprises me as it makes her seem far better known than I'd have thought she had any right to be. I can't even be arsed to Google it but is she actually a successful musician (by today's standards anyway, ie sells comparatively well, plays large venues/festivals etc.) or does she just get on TV a lot for some reason?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on March 31, 2018, 12:19:57 PM
I do recall her (daytime) Glasto set a year or two back being quite well attended.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on March 31, 2018, 12:25:06 PM
I think she's one of those singers who is surprisingly massive if you pay no attention to pop music anymore. Still putting my mind together after learning that Adele and Ed Sheeran are the biggest selling artists in history, or whatever they are. Probably not the biggest in history, but still bigger than two singers I've never knowingly heard a single song by should really be. I'm not an out-of-touch Judge who's never heard of The Beatles. I'm a cool young guy. I love Crowded House!
 
I dunno if that ad is representative of Paloma Faith's voice, but in it she doesn't sound like a competent singer - which is surely the minimum requirement for someone in her position.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on March 31, 2018, 01:43:47 PM
Back to the present day, hearing Paloma Faith foghorning out a perfectly pleasant Mama Cass song every fifteen minutes is pissing me right off is delightfully quirky.

Oh, is that who it is.
I did wonder who I'd been calling a cunt for the past few days.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on April 01, 2018, 07:33:21 PM
There's a lot of stuff being advertised on TV today that might make loads of people think "Oh, I need some of that".
And then think "Oh, all the fucking shops are shut."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: asids on April 01, 2018, 08:35:25 PM
Paloma Faith's media presence consistently surprises me as it makes her seem far better known than I'd have thought she had any right to be. I can't even be arsed to Google it but is she actually a successful musician (by today's standards anyway, ie sells comparatively well, plays large venues/festivals etc.) or does she just get on TV a lot for some reason?

She had a number 1 album last year, so yes, she is "big" in that sense although she's not a singles chart topper in the same way as your Ed Sheerans. It helps that she's made sure to get herself on telly as much as possible through The Voice and so on so that her name's always out there. She's well known but I don't how many people are actively fans of her, she's just sort of there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on April 02, 2018, 07:49:12 AM
That new Go Compare advert then.
Is the bloke supposed to be that Bo Selecta cunt?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Porter Dimi on April 04, 2018, 12:03:31 PM
Haven't seen the Nationwide singing duo for a good few weeks now, and here they are on the BBC talking about women in comedy http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/entertainment-arts-43590195/singing-stars-of-tv-ad-flo-and-joan-on-the-struggles-of-female-comics
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on April 07, 2018, 08:24:20 PM
Gah, now there's some George Ezra-voiced twunt fucking up Daniel Johnston's True Love Will Find You In The End. Nothing is sacred.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: royce coolidge on April 08, 2018, 08:23:06 PM
Lloyds Bank.magical empathetic black horses here to make it all better on a beach,over a shit cover of "you're not alone".
I thought they were a bunch of money grubbing cunts who make the world a worse place,rather than a source of hope and support,but those kind horses !
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bronzy on April 08, 2018, 08:29:44 PM
Lloyds Bank.magical empathetic black horses here to make it all better on a beach,over a shit cover of "you're not alone".
I thought they were a bunch of money grubbing cunts who make the world a worse place,rather than a source of hope and support,but those kind horses !

Hi Noel
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on April 09, 2018, 12:17:33 AM
Yeah, what is going on there? The first one (with breathy girly Praise You cover music) made a sort of thematic sense: your bank (personified by a black horse) will be there for you when you need it (yeah, right). But now what do we have? Children being roused from their beds and force-marched to an isolated beach where lots of horses will appear magically and pick you (or not? Were there enough horses to go round? Do some children not get accepted?) for... what? A lifetime of banking services? Do all the horses represent Lloyd’s, or are more than one bank available and it’s a lottery which one you get?

I got a £5 Our Price voucher when I opened my first proper bank account as a teenager. Not sure if that’s better or worse.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dex Sawash on April 15, 2018, 02:25:15 AM
Hardee's; tastes like America

https://youtu.be/z4r79mfFN9s

Would be brilliant if it was a joke
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Natnar on April 15, 2018, 06:14:28 AM
That ad for insurance that is completely silent always makes me think my TV is playing up. Coundn't they be arsed to do a soundtrack for it?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 15, 2018, 09:51:38 AM
She had a number 1 album last year, so yes, she is "big" in that sense although she's not a singles chart topper in the same way as your Ed Sheerans. It helps that she's made sure to get herself on telly as much as possible through The Voice and so on so that her name's always out there. She's well known but I don't how many people are actively fans of her, she's just sort of there.

Fair doos. Still surprised anyone, particularly an ad agency, thinks a cover version of a song called "Make Your Own Kind Of Music" is wise.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 15, 2018, 01:40:40 PM
Hardee's; tastes like America

https://youtu.be/z4r79mfFN9s

Would be brilliant if it was a joke

does all modern C&W have autotune?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ian Drunken Smurf on April 15, 2018, 07:21:08 PM
https://youtu.be/5dSM0RzrJdA
(Carte D'Or Sunday Lunch ad)

Was a subject of discussion in the pub on Friday night. Any similar ads worth watching on the YouTubes?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on April 15, 2018, 07:29:09 PM
https://youtu.be/5dSM0RzrJdA
(Carte D'Or Sunday Lunch ad)

Was a subject of discussion in the pub on Friday night. Any similar ads worth watching on the YouTubes?

Laughed at the bang on the piano
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on April 15, 2018, 07:44:40 PM
https://youtu.be/5dSM0RzrJdA
(Carte D'Or Sunday Lunch ad)

Was a subject of discussion in the pub on Friday night. Any similar ads worth watching on the YouTubes?

some great supporting actors in that.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on April 15, 2018, 08:44:35 PM
https://youtu.be/5dSM0RzrJdA
(Carte D'Or Sunday Lunch ad)

Was a subject of discussion in the pub on Friday night. Any similar ads worth watching on the YouTubes?

Wasn't that Nana Hill from the Harry Hill Show?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on April 16, 2018, 09:49:26 AM
So, these red jumper-wearing Postcode Lottery cunts, are they meant to be famous?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on April 16, 2018, 10:08:58 AM
So, these red jumper-wearing Postcode Lottery cunts, are they meant to be famous?
Yeah, they're Whatshischops and Her off the Postcode Lottery adverts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on April 16, 2018, 10:19:26 AM
I didn't realised they were a double act.
Thanks!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 16, 2018, 10:39:14 AM
There's a car (well it's more of a Chelsea tractor) ad with a woman going on a series of unsuccessful internet dates then buying the car, the implication being that that's the better option. Obviously there's a lot wrong with the premise anyway but one of the dates involves her looking askance as the man performs a magic trick. I take exception to this, I'd be well impressed if a man could make a fork dance across a napkin, I can't do it. What's wrong with magic tricks? 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on April 16, 2018, 11:04:23 AM
Laughed at the bang on the piano

Yes - that always made me laugh.

Who is the son? He looks very familiar?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on April 16, 2018, 01:36:24 PM
So, these red jumper-wearing Postcode Lottery cunts, are they meant to be famous?

If I have to hear that song one more time.....

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ian Drunken Smurf on April 17, 2018, 07:06:52 PM
Wasn't that Nana Hill from the Harry Hill Show?
I'd wondered if is was the gran from "I fancy your gran" from Little Britain.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pebble_Mill on April 21, 2018, 06:08:56 PM
Hardee's; tastes like America

https://youtu.be/z4r79mfFN9s

Would be brilliant if it was a joke

They turk our juuuurbs
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on April 27, 2018, 11:51:51 AM
What's this 'Ask your voice assistant (bowk) to do the Human Test' bollocks then?

Nope, certainly not and fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on April 27, 2018, 11:59:27 AM
The PPI Radio ads are the ads that keep on giving.

I like the one where the PPIers call the PPiee and tell them they've got some money back and start talking to them like they're a local radio dj and the person has just won £500.00 of Semichem vouchers for saying the phrase that pays.

'What are you going to do with your money*?'
'Oooh, I'm going to book a holiday I can't afford!'

*minus our slice don't you fuckin' worry about that.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on April 27, 2018, 05:37:46 PM
What's this 'Ask your voice assistant (bowk) to do the Human Test' bollocks then?

Trailer for the third series of channel 4 sf drama Humans. cos i like Humans i think its quite clever although potentially a bit worrying for the uninitiated.

they did something similar without the voice assistant bit for the previous series .... iirc it was a product recall notice for your malfunctioning 'synths' ie androids.


Nope, certainly not and fuck off.

im no fan of those voice gadgets but the trailer card also has a website address which gives the game away almost instantly and has lots of other content that ive not yet been arsed to look at https://www.nsdu.co.uk

if you have no interest in Humans i can see it might be annoying though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on April 28, 2018, 06:06:13 PM
That "sponsor a guidedog" ad with the poor sepsis bloke is a real downer. Try to watch something on FilmFour and it's on every break, sapping a little more joy out every time.

The one with the fella that gets out of prison and then has crippling arthritis is nearly as bad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on April 28, 2018, 08:49:16 PM
AND NOW THE FUCKING HALIFAX ARE FUCKING WELL FUCKING UP THE WIZARD OF OZ!!  FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS!!!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on April 28, 2018, 08:50:16 PM
Halifax have decided to shit all over The Wizard Of Oz in the most egregiously cringeworthy way conceivable.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 28, 2018, 09:03:16 PM

The one with the fella that gets out of prison and then has crippling arthritis is nearly as bad.

Think we discussed this in the previous ads thread but there's actually no need at all for the prison element, the whole ad works exactly the same without the first scene with him leaving jail. If the suggestion is supposed to be ''Well maybe he committed crime because he couldn't keep a job because of arthritis'' then that's a bit shit. 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on April 28, 2018, 09:15:30 PM
AND NOW THE FUCKING HALIFAX ARE FUCKING WELL FUCKING UP THE WIZARD OF OZ!!  FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS!!!!

Halifax have decided to shit all over The Wizard Of Oz in the most egregiously cringeworthy way conceivable.

One minute apart in our shared disgust :) ....

♫ I know what youre watching, i know what youre watching. ♫


im round the missuses nans place, whats your excuse ? :-p
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on April 28, 2018, 09:38:44 PM
We had wallpaper TV on in the background while convincing our youngest it was bedtime.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on April 30, 2018, 08:23:08 AM
That "sponsor a guidedog" ad with the poor sepsis bloke is a real downer. Try to watch something on FilmFour and it's on every break, sapping a little more joy out every time.

The one with the fella that gets out of prison and then has crippling arthritis is nearly as bad.

Always annoy me these ads that pluck at your heart strings.  Yeah, the people need a hand, they have problems with their eyesight but would it hurt to get people who can string two words together?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 30, 2018, 03:24:16 PM
Some adverts for a mobile phone firm who will let you roll some of your unused minutes into the next month. Fair enough... so the advert starts with a voiceover (is it David Baddiel?) telling us the USP of the product. Then there's an expensive looking animated cartoon with a toddler trying to return his unworn disposable nappies back to the shop. And here's the voiceover explaining that this is not a thing which you can do with nappies - but it is a thing you can do with this particular mobile phone company.

Very peculiar, it is.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 30, 2018, 03:26:53 PM
Trailer for the third series of channel 4 sf drama Humans. cos i like Humans i think its quite clever although potentially a bit worrying for the uninitiated.

they did something similar without the voice assistant bit for the previous series .... iirc it was a product recall notice for your malfunctioning 'synths' ie androids.


im no fan of those voice gadgets but the trailer card also has a website address which gives the game away almost instantly and has lots of other content that ive not yet been arsed to look at https://www.nsdu.co.uk

if you have no interest in Humans i can see it might be annoying though.

Obviously it was several years ago, and it was on BBC, so no confusing adverts, but the NSDU website reminded me that there was a UNIT website set up during the first series of new Doctor Who which was quite good.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 09, 2018, 08:32:16 AM
There's a woman, I think she's a scientist or something and she's got to give a lecture to a class or write a thesis on prehistoric life or summat.  Anyway, she can't do it without Alexa, perhaps it's an sdvert for a Lexa?

She asks it a really pert-in-unt qu-est-ion 'Did dinosaurs have feathers'.  She's such an egg head that I thought she might already be able to pos-tu-late if some/they did/didn't but hey look, Lexa has given her a really useful answer that she's going to cut and paste and win the Nobel prize for Dinosaurs.

The thing that really gets me though is she's laughing all the way through.

What are you laughing at woman?

Simpering fuck.  See if Lexa knows when your husband gets home so you can have his dinner ready.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 09, 2018, 04:48:46 PM
There's a woman, I think she's a scientist or something and she's got to give a lecture to a class or write a thesis on prehistoric life or summat.  Anyway, she can't do it without Alexa, perhaps it's an sdvert for a Lexa?

She asks it a really pert-in-unt qu-est-ion 'Did dinosaurs have feathers'.  She's such an egg head that I thought she might already be able to pos-tu-late if some/they did/didn't but hey look, Lexa has given her a really useful answer that she's going to cut and paste and win the Nobel prize for Dinosaurs.

The thing that really gets me though is she's laughing all the way through.

What are you laughing at woman?

Simpering fuck.  See if Lexa knows when your husband gets home so you can have his dinner ready.

She... hee-hee is an Ar-ha-hah-tist. Sh-heh-heh-ee works in the film industry, ha ha.

She's advertising Bing, the search engine. And is clearly on drugs, which explains both the constant giggling, and the fact that she thinks anyone with a choice in the matter ever 'bings' things instead of googling them.

*googles*

Fuckabout. Her actual name is Brooke Dibble. Let that sink in.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on May 09, 2018, 04:52:41 PM
She's advertising Bing, the search engine. And is clearly on drugs, which explains both the constant giggling, and the fact that she thinks anyone with a choice in the matter ever 'bings' things instead of googling them.

I like to think that Bing is actually some guy in an office frantically Googling everything and trying his best.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 09, 2018, 06:36:55 PM
Some adverts for a mobile phone firm who will let you roll some of your unused minutes into the next month. Fair enough... so the advert starts with a voiceover (is it David Baddiel?) telling us the USP of the product. Then there's an expensive looking animated cartoon with a toddler trying to return his unworn disposable nappies back to the shop. And here's the voiceover explaining that this is not a thing which you can do with nappies - but it is a thing you can do with this particular mobile phone company.

Very peculiar, it is.

I think there's a sad backstory there about why the parents hung on to unused nappies for 6 years before finally giving up and admitting he's never going to get a little brother or sister so he may as well cash them in.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 11, 2018, 10:40:42 AM
I'm having a bit of trouble with the current Maltesers advert (actually, all the recent Maltesers adverts, if I think). But the one with the group of young women chatting round a table in one of those coffee bars they have now is especially troubling.

"I'm having trouble with this dating thing..." says one, looking at her phone.
"Awww, is it because you're a lesbian?" says another.

What? Why would being a lesbian give her trouble with 'this dating thing'? Unless she's trying to get a date with a man... which would be stupid. Do lesbians have more or less trouble than people of other sexual orientations in finding love? It's a smaller circle, I guess... but that cuts both ways. Perhaps the friend is just calling her a lesbian, in a homophobic way - which wouldn't be conscionable nowadays. It can't be that. This first woman must actually, therefore be a lesbian. So what can be the trouble then?

Ah - she's an accountant. That explains it - that's actually worse than being gay. Has she told her parents yet? LOL!! Fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 11, 2018, 11:48:09 AM
I'm having a bit of trouble with the current Maltesers advert (actually, all the recent Maltesers adverts, if I think). But the one with the group of young women chatting round a table in one of those coffee bars they have now is especially troubling.

"I'm having trouble with this dating thing..." says one, looking at her phone.
"Awww, is it because you're a lesbian?" says another.

What? Why would being a lesbian give her trouble with 'this dating thing'? Unless she's trying to get a date with a man... which would be stupid. Do lesbians have more or less trouble than people of other sexual orientations in finding love? It's a smaller circle, I guess... but that cuts both ways. Perhaps the friend is just calling her a lesbian, in a homophobic way - which wouldn't be conscionable nowadays. It can't be that. This first woman must actually, therefore be a lesbian. So what can be the trouble then?

Ah - she's an accountant. That explains it - that's actually worse than being gay. Has she told her parents yet? LOL!! Fuck off.

I've seen that ad about 10 times now yet have consistently missed the first few seconds so didn't really get what they were on about (obviously don't care enough to youtube it) so cheers for clearing that up for me at least.   
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 11, 2018, 11:55:23 AM
The mind boggles sometimes doesn't it?  For stuff like this to make its way from the anus of someone at Mars to our eyeballs there must have been a million discussions about tone, message, brand, storyboards, scripts and a zillion other things before this gets vomited in to your face.

I can only imagine the ideas that didn't make it when 'Malteasers - disgusting bits of chocolate coated polystyrene.' would have been a step up.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on May 11, 2018, 12:16:07 PM
Can't be worse than the two annoying pretentious women pretending to know about theatre, or was that minstrels.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on May 11, 2018, 12:34:31 PM
I just saw that Maltesers ad and thought the same thing. The lesbian aspect is so obviously shoehorned in to make maltesers look all progressive and inclusive when in reality it's just patronising ("awwwww look at the cute little lesbian but hahahahaha accountant, GEEEEENIUS! I did not see that coming"). Not as patronising as that one with the woman who throws her Maltesers all over the table when she's telling that shit story.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 11, 2018, 01:16:25 PM
I just saw that Maltesers ad and thought the same thing. The lesbian aspect is so obviously shoehorned in to make maltesers look all progressive and inclusive when in reality it's just patronising ("awwwww look at the cute little lesbian but hahahahaha accountant, GEEEEENIUS! I did not see that coming"). Not as patronising as that one with the woman who throws her Maltesers all over the table when she's telling that shit story.

Plus the long term slogan of Malteasers being the ''Lighter way to enjoy chocolate'' which has led us down this dark path of the ads having to be hi-larious comedy sketches (and also meant they're targeted entirely at women because, y'know, they're virtually diet products) is horseshit because they're far from the 'lightest' popular chocolate. Crunchies, Fry's Turkish Delights, Toffee Crisps, Ripples, Milky Ways, Milky Bars and Curly Wurlies to name but a few all have less fat and calories than a packet of Malteasers.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on May 11, 2018, 01:23:03 PM
Plus the long term slogan of Malteasers being the ''Lighter way to enjoy chocolate'' which has led us down this dark path of the ads having to be hi-larious (and also meant they're targeted entirely at women because, y'know, they're virtually diet products) is horseshit because they're far from the 'lightest' popular chocolate. Crunchies, Fry's Turkish Delights, Toffee Crisps, Milky Ways, Milky Bars and Curly Wurlies to name but a few all have less fat and calories than a packet of Malteasers.

It has only just occurred to me that it's only women in these ads. "There you go little lady eat these chocolate snacks in your cute little face you woman you". I fucking hate these ads more than any other right now. They are actually insulting.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 11, 2018, 01:37:15 PM
A FAT-wah against Malteasers it is!

Incidentley I saw a programme years ago that said Toffee Crisp was the WORST thing you could ever eat because they're full of trans-fats.

I do not know what a trans-fat is but I know I like a toffee crisp.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 11, 2018, 01:39:57 PM
It has only just occurred to me that it's only women in these ads. "There you go little lady eat these chocolate snacks in your cute little face you woman you". I fucking hate these ads more than any other right now. They are actually insulting.

Been like that for a while now. The only man I can remember seeing in one even vaguely recently is a few years back where a woman finds out her boyfriend's been cheating on her so when he turns up to meet her she does a whole scenario with Malteasers representing the two of them which ends in her chucking one across the room then telling him to do one (you go girl!!). They even used ballerinas in one ages ago, to sell chocolate ffs.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on May 11, 2018, 01:48:48 PM
I just saw that Maltesers ad and thought the same thing. The lesbian aspect is so obviously shoehorned in to make maltesers look all progressive and inclusive when in reality it's just patronising ("awwwww look at the cute little lesbian but hahahahaha accountant, GEEEEENIUS! I did not see that coming"). Not as patronising as that one with the woman who throws her Maltesers all over the table when she's telling that shit story.

Rather like those McCain's adverts, they are incredibly patronising. The fanfare around having (for example) lesbians, disabled people or one-parent families in their ads just draws attention to these things, as though they're somehow abnormal. If they wanted to be genuinely progressive, they could show these things as mundane facts of life, because that's what they are. But no, it's all about brand image and showing how cuddly they are. It's a bit like how during the campaign for a referendum on same-sex marriage in Ireland a few years ago, some companies tried very hard to jump on the bandwagon, and Ben and Jerry's were even offering free ice cream to people who voted 'yes.' There's a noticeable absence of that during the current abortion referendum campaign.

I love running with those ads a bit and imagining McCain's just want to imply all of the other companies that make chips are really bigoted, and Maltesers are waiting for a competitor to run an advert claiming association their product with a programme of eugenics.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on May 11, 2018, 01:52:55 PM
fat and calories than a packet of Malteasers.
It's the fat you're worried about in chocolate? That's about the only nutritionally-useful thing in it.

I think they mean lighter in the literal sense. Maltesers don't weigh much on scales. That sounds ridiculous, but remember the early-2000s ad with office workers blowing them around with straws?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on May 11, 2018, 01:57:12 PM
Can't be worse than the two annoying pretentious women pretending to know about theatre, or was that minstrels.

No, it was theatre.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on May 11, 2018, 02:01:31 PM
Incidentley I saw a programme years ago that said Toffee Crisp was the WORST thing you could ever eat because they're full of trans-fats.

I do not know what a trans-fat is but I know I like a toffee crisp.

New Toffee Crisp advert:

"I'm having trouble getting anyone to eat me!"
"Awwww, is it because you're a trans-fat?"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 11, 2018, 02:11:54 PM
If they wanted to be genuinely progressive, they could show these things as mundane facts of life, because that's what they are.

Oh, well - your mileage may vary, as they say - because that's the precise reason I thought the McCains adverts were at least partly successful, in those terms.

I mean, considering it's an *!!aDvErT!!*, it was pretty low key about those issues, especially as it was the first time I can think of that those issues were aired on a mainstream advert.

It's advertising, so we're all being played somehow, right?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on May 11, 2018, 03:14:17 PM
Alpha Romeo has absolutely brutalised a perfect song that never needed covering at all ever. Chris Isaak Wicked Game done in a kind of more operatic vocal style. It's a FUCK OFF of the highest order.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on May 11, 2018, 03:14:53 PM
Oh, well - your mileage may vary, as they say - because that's the precise reason I thought the McCains adverts were at least partly successful, in those terms.

I mean, considering it's an *!!aDvErT!!*, it was pretty low key about those issues, especially as it was the first time I can think of that those issues were aired on a mainstream advert.

It's advertising, so we're all being patted on the head and treated like idiots somehow, right?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 11, 2018, 04:35:35 PM
Hey now.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 11, 2018, 05:53:29 PM
Alpha Romeo has absolutely brutalised a perfect song that never needed covering at all ever. Chris Isaak Wicked Game done in a kind of more operatic vocal style. It's a FUCK OFF of the highest order.

Not seen this yet but I'm sure Wicked Game had the wispy girl voice treatment in adland not long ago, the bastards.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on May 12, 2018, 08:17:07 AM
Rather like those McCain's adverts, they are incredibly patronising. The fanfare around having (for example) lesbians, disabled people or one-parent families in their ads just draws attention to these things, as though they're somehow abnormal. If they wanted to be genuinely progressive, they could show these things as mundane facts of life, because that's what they are. But no, it's all about brand image and showing how cuddly they are. It's a bit like how during the campaign for a referendum on same-sex marriage in Ireland a few years ago, some companies tried very hard to jump on the bandwagon, and Ben and Jerry's were even offering free ice cream to people who voted 'yes.' There's a noticeable absence of that during the current abortion referendum campaign.

I love running with those ads a bit and imagining McCain's just want to imply all of the other companies that make chips are really bigoted, and Maltesers are waiting for a competitor to run an advert claiming association their product with a programme of eugenics.

So-called disability. Fuck right off. You'll be setting the DWP on us next. I do occasionally eat McCain's stuff however, whereas I despise Maltesers with every fibre of my twisted, crippled being.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 12, 2018, 10:12:05 AM
Actually speaking of the Mcains ads, the recent love themed one showing various couples happily reheating frozen foods together while Ricky Tomlinson narrates wistfully about the many different ways of love blah blah seems to be trying so hard to be all 2018 inclusive as possible by showing mixed race, older, ethnically diverse and disabled couples, yet there's no same-sex ones.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on May 12, 2018, 02:44:22 PM
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QKx4tGlUVX8/hqdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on May 12, 2018, 11:51:25 PM
Who is the shite rapper in the Beeb's cup final advert?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on May 13, 2018, 08:05:09 PM
Actually speaking of the Mcains ads, the recent love themed one showing various couples happily reheating frozen foods together while Ricky Tomlinson narrates wistfully about the many different ways of love blah blah seems to be trying so hard to be all 2018 inclusive as possible by showing mixed race, older, ethnically diverse and disabled couples, yet there's no same-sex ones.

It's trying too hard. But it's way better than the Maltesers ones that like to try and educate you. I hate them both.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: a duncandisorderly on May 13, 2018, 08:31:09 PM
I like to think that Bing is actually some guy in an office frantically Googling everything and trying his best.

(http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn//fadcd296-f3ff-4b19-81c4-6bf4a77c9ee4/c55d33c8-560d-4b17-8d18-76aeb324dde3.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on May 13, 2018, 11:45:42 PM
Just noticed that the woman in the Shpock ad is selling a man’s bicycle. I like to think that in a couple of days, her recently-separated ex will get in touch saying he’d like to come round to get his bike, and she’ll just laugh.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: asids on May 14, 2018, 12:14:50 AM
I just saw that Maltesers ad and thought the same thing. The lesbian aspect is so obviously shoehorned in to make maltesers look all progressive and inclusive when in reality it's just patronising ("awwwww look at the cute little lesbian but hahahahaha accountant, GEEEEENIUS! I did not see that coming"). Not as patronising as that one with the woman who throws her Maltesers all over the table when she's telling that shit story.

They did a similar one with a woman in a wheelchair who told her mate about going to a wedding and they were having a laugh about the fact she accidentally crushed the bride's foot with her wheelchair - before proclaiming "still got the best man's number though!" One of the worst adverts I've seen for a long time. I also remember the one you're talking about at the end there, I think that was another girl in a wheelchair who was talking about having sex and then simulated the orgasm using the Maltesers. Another horrific one.

They're just really cringeworthy patronising attempts at appearing inclusive as you say, deliberately trying to make whatever individual of a minority group they put in it appear "normal" and up for a right good laugh.

EDIT: Found the one I was talking about - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPuw3wPNTto&t=11s
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on May 14, 2018, 07:21:57 AM
They did a similar one with a woman in a wheelchair who told her mate about going to a wedding and they were having a laugh about the fact she accidentally crushed the bride's foot with her wheelchair - before proclaiming "still got the best man's number though!" One of the worst adverts I've seen for a long time. I also remember the one you're talking about at the end there, I think that was another girl in a wheelchair who was talking about having sex and then simulated the orgasm using the Maltesers. Another horrific one.

They're just really cringeworthy patronising attempts at appearing inclusive as you say, deliberately trying to make whatever individual of a minority group they put in it appear "normal" and up for a right good laugh.

EDIT: Found the one I was talking about - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPuw3wPNTto&t=11s

Apparently they're true stories, which makes it even worse. Maltesers are shit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 14, 2018, 03:31:39 PM
The Poetry Bastards are back.

The Bloody Awful demotic Northern leftie one from the Nationwide. "Hopes, dreams, hoping dreaming, dreaming hoping. Votes for women. Black and white. The workhouse for you young fellow-me-lad. Mortgages for ordinary folk. By gum."

And the tough girl, leaning on the American car. Car's not for you. Big car's for small. Small's not your fool. Small's a great bunch of lads. Big's too big. Big small, small big. Small knows.

I think it's asking a lot for a mobile phone network to be cool and friendly. Half of them can't even provide decent network coverage all the time. I'm guessing the bigger the better is the rule there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 14, 2018, 03:59:51 PM
I think I've said Tesco Food Love Stories before but I'm saying 'em again because there's a cunt who makes his mum and dad something flat breads.

Tell you what y'wee prick.  Tidy your room, get a job and fuck off.

Mum and dad wish you were never born.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: RoadMaintenanceTycoon on May 15, 2018, 01:06:19 AM
I'm having a bit of trouble with the current Maltesers advert (actually, all the recent Maltesers adverts, if I think). But the one with the group of young women chatting round a table in one of those coffee bars they have now is especially troubling.

https://youtu.be/-98GDrJZk4E?t=7 listening on headphones it sounds like they dubbed the lesbian in the bit where she says 'almost like i'm being discriminated against or something'

can only imagine the agonising rounds of calculated tweaks and indecision this ad went through
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on May 17, 2018, 11:19:14 AM
Quote
Advertisements that perpetuate sexist stereotypes, from men being shown as useless at changing nappies to women being unable to park a car, would be banned under a new rule being considered by the industry watchdog.

The crackdown by the Committee of Advertising Practice (Cap), which writes the codes that all UK advertisers have to follow, aims to rid television, radio, billboards, posters, newspapers and magazines of ads that promote harmful or offensive stereotypes. The new rule, which follows 10 months of evaluation by the ad watchdog, will be subject to a final public consultation before being put into practice...

Sounds like a good idea. One thing I would like to see is the media avoiding giving publicity to banned ads and therefore encouraging companies to submit offensive ads. The Guardian has used a picture of one of the banned ads in their reporting which is why I haven't linked to the story.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: bgmnts on May 17, 2018, 02:08:25 PM
It's quite hard to believe in 2018 rooms full of executives at an ad agency and rooms full of executives at the client business would fail to spot how that Heineken advert could be construed as racist.

Or just dont care?

Doesn't surprise me. They're exectuives. Beyond pointless.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: saltysnacks on May 18, 2018, 12:24:09 AM
The Poetry Bastards are back.

The Bloody Awful demotic Northern leftie one from the Nationwide. "Hopes, dreams, hoping dreaming, dreaming hoping. Votes for women. Black and white. The workhouse for you young fellow-me-lad. Mortgages for ordinary folk. By gum."

Makes me want to pull my fingernails out.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 18, 2018, 08:04:26 PM
Hasselhoff advertising FarmFoods??

Peak erosion of the separation of fantasy and reality. Its disgusting. I preferred it when US megastars were aloof and distant, not whoring themselves out to the lowest common abominator.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on May 18, 2018, 09:18:30 PM
(http://www.woodyallenpages.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/woodysimpsons3.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sgt. Duckie on May 19, 2018, 02:37:04 PM
Step aside 'who's that knocking at the dooor, who's that ringing the bell' as there are some new cunts in town.
Namely Gary Barlow and those singing dogs: 'Flyyy hiiiigh and let meee goooo". I just want to do the Fire Walk With me axe into the tele when this repeatedly comes on.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 21, 2018, 08:43:51 AM
If you listen to podcasts I'm sure you've heard the ads for Gaiko (sp?).  The one's where something with 'one job' envies Gaiko that does loads of things.

The one where there's a bloke in the shower going 'Washing my toes - ahwaha hooo hhooooooo' and then goes 'Washing my nose - hey heeeyeye heyeyeyee'.

I hope he slips on some soap.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: McFlymo on May 21, 2018, 03:02:28 PM
Member the racist '90s Scalextric ad?

https://youtu.be/Spz_FIsmXRI

Thought it was earlier than '98.

Perhaps, weirdly, the only thing that I felt was slightly off with this was the woman saying, "It was just a fling... " Maybe it's because this is the "othering" of some non-present, non-white character, but obviously for the joke to work she only needs to allude to that character. I actually found this quite funny, maybe I am reminiscing of the aforementioned Jam-style acting and style to it: The way the guy is just staring off at the end is quite neat.

As for racist TV ads. I'll be that cunt for a moment and announce how proud I am of the fact that I only ever see TV ads when I visit my parents. It is always quite unsettling and bleak to see the lengths TV ads go to, now, to grab your attention. Yesterday, a chat with my mum was interrupted by me staring slaw jawed at some sickly ad for the National Lottery, where a mixed race guy is stood in a shop, mumbling about how much he loves his mum or something, showing us a pic of her on his phone. It seemed the message was something like, "Hey everybody, be like this guy, he's stupid and gambles, but he loves his mum... And look! She's white... So it's all OK!" Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it was the intensity of the fake "man in the street" style that made me so uncomfortable.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 24, 2018, 12:59:37 PM
Radio ads for the Army.  Are you a are brave boy or girl?  Fancy being shoved out to some dustbowl in a country you've never heard of to stand on a landmine?

Having doubts?  Let's these cunts answer your questions about pull ups and roccckkksss in yer beerrrrrrrrrrrgen.

I want the other side to win.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on May 25, 2018, 10:26:34 AM

I want the other side to win.

Why?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 25, 2018, 10:36:06 AM
Why?

Why not?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on May 25, 2018, 11:33:19 AM
Thinking about painting the fence this weekend reminded me of the time I bought one of those spray paint things.  They were advertised with a bloke laughing at how it is was to use and the music to the ad was The Laughing Policeman.

If you're thinking of painting the fence this weekend do not buy one of those spray paint things unless you also intend to coat yourself, your neighbours washing and everything else within a 1km radius in a splattering of intermittent oak.

There should be a class action law suit against those bastards.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: RoadMaintenanceTycoon on May 25, 2018, 01:03:31 PM
Member the racist '90s Scalextric ad?

https://youtu.be/Spz_FIsmXRI

Thought it was earlier than '98.

Is that what's her name off of the Iannucci shows cupboard sketch (and a few others)? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0eExOkc8jk
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sexton Brackets Drugbust on May 25, 2018, 01:45:41 PM
Is that what's her name off of the Iannucci shows cupboard sketch (and a few others)? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0eExOkc8jk

Yeah, I recognised the Scouse girl.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on May 27, 2018, 11:43:39 PM
The song in that Sony Bravia TV ad pretty much encompasses everything I really hate about modern pop singer songwriters. That voice, the generic melody, the boring fucking strings. I don't think a human made that music, it was put together by a bot wasn't it? It's that human after all guy isn't it? Fucking end of all music right there. I say this sincerely, I'd rather listen to Sheeran. But only as I fucking slit my own throat while doing so.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buzby on May 28, 2018, 12:42:33 AM
Is that what's her name off of the Iannucci shows cupboard sketch (and a few others)? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0eExOkc8jk
Sky Glover. she's also in the 'Communication' episode in a photostory sketch about having one of Jude Law's hands transplanted onto her arm in an effort to lead a more glamourous life. She did a few single episodes of soaps and drama series (The Bill, Casualty, Doctors, Liverpool 1 etc.) but she's not been in anything since 2005 according to IMDB.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on May 28, 2018, 05:40:11 AM
As long as shes no relation to Guy Glover.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Porter Dimi on May 28, 2018, 05:34:51 PM
The song in that Sony Bravia TV ad pretty much encompasses everything I really hate about modern pop singer songwriters. That voice, the generic melody, the boring fucking strings. I don't think a human made that music, it was put together by a bot wasn't it? It's that human after all guy isn't it? Fucking end of all music right there. I say this sincerely, I'd rather listen to Sheeran. But only as I fucking slit my own throat while doing so.

It's horrible, isn't it? Also saw an ad for the guy's album, which said something along the lines of 'Featuring [shit song] from the Sony Bravia TV ad!'. Shameless stuff.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 03, 2018, 08:22:37 AM
It's horrible, isn't it? Also saw an ad for the guy's album, which said something along the lines of 'Featuring [shit song] from the Sony Bravia TV ad!'. Shameless stuff.

The recent spate of televised festivals and a few rare instances of (involuntarily) listening to commercial radio have made me realise just how many dull, by-numbers sounding pieces of aural wallpaper that I've heard on ads and assumed were just made for them are actually recent singles by big names. Something by Ed Sheeran (maybe for M&S?) and that terrible "Iwillleavealightoooown" one (can't remember the ad, might actually be the one in the quote above) are a few, but there's been more.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 04, 2018, 01:11:41 PM
There's a totally misjudged L'Oreal ad on at the moment aimed at women who buy their men grooming products. It shows a dapper-ish Ewan McGregor type cackhandedly chucking a skateboard around and the voiceover says something like ''Ladies, we can't make him a teenager again, but we can help him look his best.'' What?! Germaine Greer aside how many women over, well, 20 sit there wishing their boyfriends/husbands looked like teenagers? There's some decidedly off logic being applied here because even if they've just attempted to flip the obviously debatable notion that a lot of men wish their wives/girlfriends looked 19 again, if any ad actually did say that there'd be uproar, and the other way around it's still awful as well as just being wrong.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on June 04, 2018, 06:34:59 PM
If that's the one with Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, then he doesn't need much help looking good.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on June 04, 2018, 07:36:58 PM
David Mitchell is now in one of those EE ads with Kevin Bacon.

A new low?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on June 04, 2018, 09:30:10 PM
David Mitchell is now in one of those EE ads with Kevin Bacon.

A new low?

Upstart Crow?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on June 04, 2018, 10:41:06 PM
Or the Get A Mac campaign. Christ. Remember that?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on June 05, 2018, 09:11:17 AM
At least it didn’t kill the product stone dead, like Griff Rhys-Jones’ car ad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 06, 2018, 10:24:07 AM
David Mitchell is now in one of those EE ads with Kevin Bacon.

A new low?

It's ridiculous, that advert. It's clearly David Mitchell - or at least the 'angry man' character from one of his sketches - and yet we know that man is a non-driving virgin. OK, actual David Mitchell (the real life human being) is married, and has a small child (or two?), but not multiple teenagers, and anyway can't drive. I mean - what are we supposed to think?

And just how hard up is Kevin Bacon? At least in this one he isn't being forced to use British slang slightly wrong.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on June 06, 2018, 12:12:51 PM
It's ridiculous, that advert. It's clearly David Mitchell - or at least the 'angry man' character from one of his sketches - and yet we know that man is a non-driving virgin. OK, actual David Mitchell (the real life human being) is married, and has a small child (or two?), but not multiple teenagers, and anyway can't drive. I mean - what are we supposed to think?

And just how hard up is Kevin Bacon? At least in this one he isn't being forced to use British slang slightly wrong.

The best David Mitchell who isn't David Mitchell is the one on the cruise adverts (PandO?) with Rob Bryden.  There's a clip at the end of one where he's enjoying a wee aperitif with a bloke who - is David Mitchell - but NO IT ISN'T DAVID MITCHELL.  It's a bloke who looks like him but isn't him but does look a bit like him and pulls a David Mitchell look but it isn't him.

But it looks like him.
A bit.
At first glance.
But it's not him.
But you're meant to think it is.
But it isn't.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 06, 2018, 12:46:39 PM
...which is ridiculous in itself, because people who go on cruises are FAMOUS for not having any discernible sense of humour (well, if they're all anything like my wife's parents, anyway).

Anyway, the other great one at the moment is the Peter Jones, in his electric blue suit, and striped socks:

*cough*
"Since a child..."
*walks awkwardly towards the camera*
*hand gesture*
*looms*
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on June 07, 2018, 09:31:41 PM
All World Cup related adverts can cunt right off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on June 08, 2018, 09:36:15 AM
Oh god, I hadn't considered how many mums/wives will be rolling their eyes, tutting and looking upwards as the ladz enjoy the soccors.

All the 'official' sponsors and partners of and...my god..I've just thought...

Gillette! 

It's going to be a long month.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 08, 2018, 10:02:30 AM
Zlatan Ibrahimovic, in 'Visa' track suit, buys a drink.

Honestly, what?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on June 17, 2018, 09:21:14 PM
Some truly awful World Cup-themed ads out there. But I did find the PaddyPower VAR one a bit funny. And the Co-op one made us laugh, just for the onscreen commentator's post-penalty line "And now they're only Five-One down!!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on June 18, 2018, 01:00:00 PM
I saw the David Mitchell/Kevin Bacon one the other day. 

What won't these people do for money?

The kids 'have to' update their fantasy football teams?

That line has NEVER been said by anyone, ever.

How do these people sleep at night?  When is too much not enough?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on June 18, 2018, 01:49:05 PM
Given how connected Kevin Bacon apparently is to everybody, you'd think he'd've been able to find somebody to check his contract with EE before he signed it. It's the only explanation at this point. He's being held against his will.

And as for Mitchell, is he hoping to get in on that "The Trip" 'enhanced reality' schtick? Because he's basically playing himself, but as the father of three teenagers when it's fairly common knowledge at this point he's the father of one preschooler.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on June 18, 2018, 02:08:30 PM
It's a box-ticking advert; two dads and a girl into football.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on June 18, 2018, 02:45:21 PM
Child 1. 'Dad, I'm almost out data, you're a millionaire, mum's a millionaire - what the fuck?'
Child 2. 'Fuck that for a game of soldiers, who's this floppy haired cunt and why's he yapping on about mobile data all the time?'
Child 3. 'I want my muuummm!'
Mitchell - Blusters.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on June 18, 2018, 04:01:42 PM
I can see Coren Mitchell having a bit of a thing for Bacon and pressuring her husband into doing it so she could get to meet him. That'd explain it for sure.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: metaltax on June 22, 2018, 08:26:25 AM
The chef bloke who's Tim Lovejoy's only friend (Simon somebody?) giving it the full Legend Gary in the new BT adverts, talking about watching his son's football game while sneakily listening to Liverpool play.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on June 22, 2018, 10:24:07 AM
What, too posh for a radio, is he?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: boki on June 22, 2018, 03:38:12 PM
The chef bloke who's Tim Lovejoy's only friend (Simon somebody?)

Simon Rimmer.

And with that, the jokes write themselves.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on June 26, 2018, 11:14:33 PM
Was that Daniel Johnstone I just heard on an Apple advert? Motherfuckers.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on June 29, 2018, 09:05:07 AM
Tesco food love stories are seriously the worst and the latest with whatserface doing her twee-likkle-baby-girl voice is a new low.

They're an Own Brand version of the M&S ads.

Death to all involved.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: im barry bethel on June 29, 2018, 10:56:01 AM
Ring doorbells...

Burger creeps up to house and peers through window

Householder spies him via his phone while stood in the supermarket

Bloke "Can I help you?"

Burglar "eeerm I've lost my cat, wondered if you'd seen it"

Bloke "no, and now I'd like to see you leave"

Burglar "no worries mate"


Now I'm no burglar but if a smug cunt said that to me I'd brick every window.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: im barry bethel on June 29, 2018, 10:57:04 AM
I can see Coren Mitchell having a bit of a thing for Bacon and pressuring her husband into doing it so she could get to meet him. That'd explain it for sure.

3sum, Mitchell's the cuckold fluffer
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: asids on June 29, 2018, 11:30:54 AM
Ring doorbells...

Burger creeps up to house and peers through window

Householder spies him via his phone while stood in the supermarket

Bloke "Can I help you?"

Burglar "eeerm I've lost my cat, wondered if you'd seen it"

Bloke "no, and now I'd like to see you leave"

Burglar "no worries mate"


Now I'm no burglar but if a smug cunt said that to me I'd brick every window.

The totally unrealistic calmness and self-assurance to the fact someone is clearly attempting to burgle his house when he's at the shops is what makes me laugh at that advert.

Also the previous version had a guy at the door claiming he was offering a "free window cleaning service", because of course window cleaners just randomly offer free cleans, that's not going to be suspicious at all.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on June 29, 2018, 11:46:27 AM
How about if Honest Angus found your phone?  Or Mary?  You'd been fine, she's honest.  But what about this cunt?  Ooooh, if he found it you'd be fucked pal.

Thankfully RBS have some shit fucking app that means Twat Bastard here wouldn't be able to access your account.

Fred the Shred on the other hand?  He'll single handedly destroy the world's economy and walk away with a big fat bonus.

And we're closing all our branches.

We're 'there for YOU though'.

F the RBS.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on June 29, 2018, 08:00:00 PM
Ring doorbells...

Burger creeps up to house and peers through window

Householder spies him via his phone while stood in the supermarket

Bloke "Can I help you?"

Burglar "eeerm I've lost my cat, wondered if you'd seen it"

Bloke "no, and now I'd like to see you leave"

Burglar "no worries mate"


Now I'm no burglar but if a smug cunt said that to me I'd brick every window.

'your house looks like a Morrisons mate, why have you decorated your house to look like Morrisons mate?'
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on June 29, 2018, 08:00:37 PM
Hold on I've not thought this through.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on June 29, 2018, 08:36:11 PM
This is madness. There’s no football on TV! But still World Cup-themed adverts!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 04, 2018, 10:02:06 AM
Scene - summer morning, a large airy bedroom. As the sound of Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) by Cockney Rebel strikes up, a middle aged but obviously youthful couple wake up. The man, wearing short pyjamas and a flowing lightweight robe proceeds to dance through the house downstairs to the kitchen.

A public safety film, warning against the dangers of wearing socks on polished wooden staircases?

Not quite.

(Also - confusingly, once the man reaches the ground floor, there is a woman apparently already there to greet him... but we last saw his wife upstairs. No wonder he needs the little blue pill).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on July 04, 2018, 01:36:41 PM
He then reaches the patio window, steps out into the warm morning sun, and thinks, "wowwwww I've got a massive cock"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bad Ambassador on July 04, 2018, 01:44:34 PM
Burger creeps up to house and peers through window

Householder spies him via his phone while stood in the supermarket

(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ronaldmcdonald/images/0/0f/Imgres.jpeg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20150625050506)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bad Ambassador on July 04, 2018, 01:46:20 PM
All the World Cup ads remind me of the SNL Tostinos commercials, where it turns out the bloke's wife is getting off with Kristen Stewart in the kitchen while he's watching the football.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 05, 2018, 06:48:55 AM
Ring doorbells...

Burger creeps up to house and peers through window

Householder spies him via his phone while stood in the supermarket

Bloke "Can I help you?"

Burglar "eeerm I've lost my cat, wondered if you'd seen it"

Bloke "no, and now I'd like to see you leave"

Burglar "no worries mate"


Now I'm no burglar but if a smug cunt said that to me I'd brick every window.

The one where the bloke's in the cinema calmly slurping his drink while watching two thieves trying to steal his car is even stupider. After watching them for a few moments, (watching as if it's a TV programme he's not particularly into btw and not as if his car is being nicked in his absence) he presses a button on his phone and the car alarm goes off so they scarper, he makes some witty comment to the fourth wall and settles back to watch the film. Now, if that's all it took to put them off, surely a traditional alarm would suffice? Not that it probably would put them off anyway, and either way it's bizarre to imply you could or would remain so collected and unperturbed by watching masked men invading your property. But the real question is, if his car is at home, how did he get to the cinema?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 13, 2018, 05:57:15 PM
Is it time to talk about those McDonald's Wrap adverts with all the gender fluid stuff (or is that special sauce?)? I don't understand them. Are they the same characters as were in the last lot?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on July 13, 2018, 06:07:04 PM
I think we’re meant to think that, but they aren’t. And as we all know she was fucking his dad anyway.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on July 14, 2018, 10:10:45 PM
Scene - summer morning, a large airy bedroom. As the sound of Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) by Cockney Rebel strikes up, a middle aged but obviously youthful couple wake up. The man, wearing short pyjamas and a flowing lightweight robe proceeds to dance through the house downstairs to the kitchen.

A public safety film, warning against the dangers of wearing socks on polished wooden staircases?

Not quite.

(Also - confusingly, once the man reaches the ground floor, there is a woman apparently already there to greet him... but we last saw his wife upstairs. No wonder he needs the little blue pill).

Also, I really hope he put those socks on along with the other clothes, and he didn't have them on all the time.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gmoney on July 14, 2018, 10:33:38 PM
That Giff Gaff ad with the girl going on that big/small nonsense rant makes me want to smash things. I will never ever get a Giff Gaff aim card as long as I live. Fucking hell!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 15, 2018, 05:13:23 PM
That Giff Gaff ad with the girl going on that big/small nonsense rant makes me want to smash things. I will never ever get a Giff Gaff aim card as long as I live. Fucking hell!

It's a textbook example of forcing qualities onto an abstract concept to make a point but it just being nonsense when you actually look at it. How does 'small has a sandwich' help anyone? I think they're woefully overestimating how much people care about the size of their phone network provider, and if anything isn't bigger phone network=generally better due to better coverage?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 15, 2018, 05:19:16 PM
It's a load of shite anyway. It's a virtual network that runs on whatever 02 is calling itself now.

They buy the data/usage wholesale and then sell it on. They cut costs because there's no staff and it's ran by the community.

As a service it's fine. I wouldn't enter into a proper phone contract again.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 18, 2018, 03:50:17 PM
Saw another one of those low-level adverts aimed at (it's always) women who want to regain control of their digestive systems (I forget what this pill was supposed to do, exactly, but it was either a laxative or whatever the opposite of a laxative is).

The adverts are always the same, whatever promise is made by the product. An attractive, slim, usually brown haired, early middle aged woman with a busy lifestyle and sunny disposition cheerily delivers potted summary of her condition and how the pill in question has really cheered her up, what with one thing or another.

It was the opening line to this specific one which made me (as a professional in the construction industry) prick up my ears: "As an engineer..."

Imagine my disappointment that the pill had nothing to do with piles (which is a word which also has associations with building and civil engineering...).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on July 18, 2018, 04:59:36 PM
These women always and I mean ALWAYS wear white jeans.

Risky.

McDonald's ads are always death aren't they?  Have you heard the radio one where some twat reports on people's thoughts on what summer 'is'?

He uses a couple of twitter handles which I am going to look up tonight.

If they actually exist they will be getting a picture of my anus DM'd to them.

For the record - summer feels 'haut!'

Haut?  Cunt more like.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on July 19, 2018, 10:29:18 AM
Update.  Can't believe McDonalds lied to us.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on July 19, 2018, 12:48:58 PM
Anyone called whoever came up the Betfair 'Where gut feeling meets smarts' line a cunt yet?

If not I will.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 19, 2018, 01:50:18 PM
Anyone called whoever came up the Betfair 'Where gut feeling meets smarts' line a cunt yet?

If not I will.

Those online gambling etc. ads are getting increasingly awful, trying to make the act of pissing your money away on some cheap looking electronic tombola look like an aspirational lifestyle with a vibrant community. There's one that involves women glamming themselves up as if for a night out when really they're going to play bingo online, and one momentary scene has one of them sitting on a couch in her bathrobe, and my as Mr. Haven (who's ex-wife was addicted to these games and spent/lost thousands and thousands of pounds of them) pointed out that that's the reality, plonked in your PJs all day staring at your phone swilling your cash down the drain. Really glam. 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on July 19, 2018, 04:21:23 PM
He obviously has no friends - despite them trying to make it look like he has by having him say hello to some random bloke - and looks and dresses like the sort of person who in America would feature in news reports that ended with “... before turning the gun on himself.” In fact there’s something of the Dylan Roof about him, such is presumably why they picked a black guy to be his only friend (and they’re probably only acquaintances).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Rolf Lundgren on July 19, 2018, 07:19:53 PM
This Nationwide poetry campaign has to stop. So twee, so earnest. Trying their best to convince us that they're all good honest people at Nationwide just wanting to put good people into good homes. YOUR HOUSE MAY BE REPOSSESSED IF YOU yadda yadda yadda.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on July 25, 2018, 08:30:31 PM
AVIVA Dash-cam. For people who lack the ability to describe 'a horse from a nearby historical re-enactment ran in front of my car'.

Or even just 'a horse ran in front of my car'.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on July 26, 2018, 08:49:41 AM
Remember the phew-rory when tachometers were introduced in to lorry cabs?

Long distance drivers complaining that they weren't allowed to drive 64hrs straight using the magical powers of amphetamines?  'The Spy in the Cab' they called it.

Now Aviva are offering YOU the chance to grass yourself up like a kipper and before long it'll be part of your insurance t's and c's that you must have a dash cam.

So no more texting while driving, eating while driving or seeing how far you can go with your eyes shut.

Nothing's fun anymore.

Quote me Grassy.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on July 31, 2018, 06:50:32 PM
The Halifax Wizard Of Oz one is the worst advert I've seen in my life. That is all.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 01, 2018, 08:46:24 AM
The Halifax Wizard Of Oz one is the worst advert I've seen in my life. That is all.

Saw it last night.  May the lord have mercy on us all.

Apart from whoever thinks these are good.

Send him to hell.

I was having a shave this morning.  While there was some stretching of my jaw and lips I didn't pull any of the faces Gillette tell me all men do.

I musn't be a real man.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on August 01, 2018, 09:43:29 AM
The Halifax Wizard Of Oz one is the worst advert I've seen in my life. That is all.

Oh, come on.
It may be completely fucking shit, but it's not even the worst advert Halifax have done.

#isaisababy
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 02, 2018, 10:39:14 AM
I was having a shave this morning.  While there was some stretching of my jaw and lips I didn't pull any of the faces Gillette tell me all men do.

I musn't be a real man.

Unfortunately that advert reminds me of an off colour joke I was told ages ago about the surgical barber (whatever you call the person who shaves you prior to an operation) asking a woman whom he was shaving to help him by 'making that face' with her genitalia.

I am aware that this is very much my problem.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 05, 2018, 05:59:19 PM
So this compare the meerkat 2 for 1 on meals and cinema etc etc. etc. thing that they've been flogging to death for ages, turns out it even works if you just buy a one-off cheap as possible travel insurance policy. I just bought a policy for one night in Manchester for one person for £1.05 and now have the offer for a year. Is this a loophole or have I signed my soul data away so it's worth it to them?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on August 05, 2018, 06:12:57 PM
In other news, Just Eat are now sponsoring films on ITV1. Unfortunately, they've only been prepared to film two inserts, one at the start of the ad break and one at the end. The same two. Over and over. Watch a 3hr movie like The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and you will see these two unfunny stings A LOT. I'd already decided to avoid Just Eat's services when it transpired that although they will happily provide you with details of restaurants near you, they will make no allowance whatsoever for that restaurant's delivery radius - until almost the last part of the order process; this just strengthens my resolve.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 05, 2018, 06:24:56 PM
In other news, Just Eat are now sponsoring films on ITV1. Unfortunately, they've only been prepared to film two inserts, one at the start of the ad break and one at the end. The same two. Over and over. Watch a 3hr movie like The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and you will see these two unfunny stings A LOT. I'd already decided to avoid Just Eat's services when it transpired that although they will happily provide you with details of restaurants near you, they will make no allowance whatsoever for that restaurant's delivery radius - until almost the last part of the order process; this just strengthens my resolve.

And that fucking jingle ''...A cavalcade of local chefs, wizards of the wok...'' GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
I accidentally ordered something from somewhere that was closed once, so I re-ordered from elsewhere and just assumed I'd either automatically get a refund or email JE to get one from the first place, but it had actually not-remotely-obviously defaulted to order they reopened, so I got a phonecall the following evening when I was out from the delivery driver who was at my front door with my food. Not entirely JE's fault but it should have been much more obvious that that was going to happen.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 06, 2018, 08:59:07 AM
So this compare the meerkat 2 for 1 on meals and cinema etc etc. etc. thing that they've been flogging to death for ages, turns out it even works if you just buy a one-off cheap as possible travel insurance policy. I just bought a policy for one night in Manchester for one person for £1.05 and now have the offer for a year. Is this a loophole or have I signed my soul data away so it's worth it to them?

We did that too.  It was almost too simples.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 06, 2018, 09:14:42 AM
We did that too.  It was almost too simples.

I haven't tried to redeem it yet as I only did it yesterday but I'm presuming it does actually work?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 06, 2018, 09:36:36 AM
I haven't tried to redeem it yet as I only did it yesterday but I'm presuming it does actually work?

Yep.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 06, 2018, 10:29:05 AM
And that fucking jingle ''...A cavalcade of local chefs, wizards of the wok...'' GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
I accidentally ordered something from somewhere that was closed once, so I re-ordered from elsewhere and just assumed I'd either automatically get a refund or email JE to get one from the first place, but it had actually not-remotely-obviously defaulted to order they reopened, so I got a phonecall the following evening when I was out from the delivery driver who was at my front door with my food. Not entirely JE's fault but it should have been much more obvious that that was going to happen.

Just Eat, Trivago and everyone else would have you believe the internet and apps are living, breathing, sentient beings - despite almost everyone working in a field where their 'online' orders still drop through to some shmuck to process manually.

My missus used to work for 5pm.com where failed faxes would drop in to her inbox and she'd need to call Zorba's Greek Taverna and speak to the 18 year old who'd been left in charge of a 50 seat restaurant despite speaking no English, having no concept of 5pm or that a coach load of 30 Belgian tourists are about to descend on their gaff expecting Humus and a plate to smash in 20 minutes.

You just tap your app and let the Numbskulls sort it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 06, 2018, 10:47:25 AM

My missus used to work for 5pm.com where failed faxes would drop in to her inbox and she'd need to call Zorba's Greek Taverna and speak to the 18 year old who'd been left in charge of a 50 seat restaurant despite speaking no English, having no concept of 5pm or that a coach load of 30 Belgian tourists are about to descend on their gaff expecting Humus and a plate to smash in 20 minutes.

You just tap your app and let the Numbskulls sort it.

Which is exactly why the apps are so popular, no need to speak/attempt to speak to anyone.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ersatz99 on August 06, 2018, 11:01:19 AM
"...a TIN MAN"   

A Tim from the Officeism.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bad Ambassador on August 06, 2018, 04:16:55 PM
The Cineworld advert that plays just before the film.

1. You're advertising a service that, by definition, I have already purchased.
2. If blathers on about how people go to the cinema "to escape!", so I'm looking forward to it playing before something about the Holocaust or Fred West.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 06, 2018, 05:01:56 PM
Which is exactly why the apps are so popular, no need to speak/attempt to speak to anyone.

APP or not, it's still going somewhere to be serviced by someone.  Failed orders will drop on to a queue somewhere to by actioned by a middle aged woman in a room somewhere no matter how much you reckon it goes straight to a cyborg in a chefs hat going beep-beeop-fuck me-beep me-state of this fucking place-beep-boop.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on August 06, 2018, 08:52:43 PM
If 'Go Compare' did an Xmas advert. but their jingle was sung in the twee voice style of today's adverts, would that be the perfect storm of shitty ads?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on August 06, 2018, 09:06:18 PM
"Everything was louder in the 80s: the music..."

Er, no, it is commonly observed that music has become much louder in recent years due to digital compression techniques and the loudness wars.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 06, 2018, 11:02:36 PM
APP or not, it's still going somewhere to be serviced by someone.  Failed orders will drop on to a queue somewhere to by actioned by a middle aged woman in a room somewhere no matter how much you reckon it goes straight to a cyborg in a chefs hat going beep-beeop-fuck me-beep me-state of this fucking place-beep-boop.

But no one thinks it goes to a robot, that's ridiculous, of course people deal with the order and cook the food, the point is the app means you don't have to speak to them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on August 07, 2018, 11:34:04 AM
Magic is real

It's contained within an app
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 07, 2018, 12:45:11 PM
But no one thinks it goes to a robot, that's ridiculous, of course people deal with the order and cook the food, the point is the app means you don't have to speak to them.

You know I think people do.  The reason behind 'on line' is that it saves money because it's all done automatically.  I can assure you from personal experience that it isn't that clever and Easyjet, Trivago, Booking.com have a swash of people sat there auctioning your requests.

Computers - Shmonshmuters I say.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lgpmachine on August 07, 2018, 03:29:11 PM
If 'Go Compare' did an Xmas advert. but their jingle was sung in the twee voice style of today's adverts, would that be the perfect storm of shitty ads?

Martin Freeman riding along the beach on a black horse to an acoustic cover of 'Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me' (vocals by Kevin Bacon) to promote Compare The Market's new online casino.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: neveragain on August 07, 2018, 08:05:11 PM
The advert with the smelly man who "loves bacon. Like, he really loves bacon."
Grinds my fucking piss, that quirky turn of phrase!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 08, 2018, 08:36:41 AM
Who wins if YOU win?

Right you old, supercilious cunt who wins if YOU win?

'Three of my best friends.'

Is that it you smug bastard?  Just the three, what about your kids or your neighbor who's put your bins out for the past twenty years?

I know the lad who loves his mum because she 'worked three jobs' has been mentioned before but these ads do my nut in.

The whole concept of the lottery does my nut in, the fact that it's a tax on the poor, the fact that you're lured in but also warned off because all that money will 'ruin your life' and the way that say a factory win on a syndicate there's always one person who wasn't in it and he's getting FUCK ALL.

Give him £20k you miserable bastards and you, you old fuck spread it around a bit more than to three of your best mates.  You'll be dead before the cheque's cashed anyway.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on August 08, 2018, 08:46:19 AM
Who wins if YOU win?

The correct answer is almost certainly "the cocaine industry".
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 08, 2018, 09:15:59 AM
The correct answer is almost certainly "the cocaine industry".

Aye, that would be good. 

'The local whores and drug dealers, plus I've always felt it a shame that those lovely boys in the IRA have been overshadowed by ISIS and whatnot, so I'll be making a donation to them too.'
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on August 08, 2018, 10:39:22 AM
Martin Freeman riding along the beach on a black horse to an acoustic cover of 'Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me' (vocals by Kevin Bacon) to promote Compare The Market's new online casino.

I think I just felt someone walk over my grave
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on August 08, 2018, 10:40:25 AM
The Flash advert eats away at me every time it comes on. I don't think I've ever threw myself at the remote faster
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on August 08, 2018, 06:01:32 PM
Who wins if YOU win?

The farmers. They always win.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 09, 2018, 10:02:34 AM
Speaking of Tim From The Office, is there supposed to be an unfolding narrative in the series of adverts for [what are they?] mobile phones?

Who remembers the hapless twat at the overseas wedding? The useless idiot in the underground car park? And the utterly inexplicable ones where he copped off with that woman who seemingly owned an island and gave him her daughters old phone for some reason... and now he's in a car in the rain breaking up with someone - surely not the island woman. What are they selling? Who's even thinking of buying? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

(also, in the car park one he was driving an early mark Triumph Spitfire. In the current one it's a Peugeot 504 coupe. Why has such a loser got such nice cars?)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Rolf Lundgren on August 09, 2018, 10:39:03 PM
The Flash advert eats away at me every time it comes on. I don't think I've ever threw myself at the remote faster

They've been resisting using 'Flash' by Queen for years but now some lazy arsehole has decided the time has come. After all this time they should have been able to write half decent lyrics but they've tossed it off and doesn't even scan.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Hecate on August 10, 2018, 01:36:07 AM
Harris Fowler would be a great porn name.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on August 11, 2018, 08:29:26 PM
'Tired of getting beat up by high razor prices?'

No, because they cost FUCK ALL!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on August 11, 2018, 11:06:39 PM
No because I run a set of no 2 clippers across my face every month or so.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on August 12, 2018, 10:09:56 PM
Oh, come on.
It may be completely fucking shit, but it's not even the worst advert Halifax have done.

#isaisababy
Oh, those cunts have just done Ghostbusters.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 13, 2018, 08:17:31 AM
Oh, those cunts have just done Ghostbusters.

There's now, I think, 3 ads using the Ghostbusters theme song currently doing the rounds. I've heard it more this year than in the entire fucking 80s.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on August 13, 2018, 04:35:54 PM
And 118 118 did it - with Ray Parker Jr. - years ago.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on August 14, 2018, 11:21:54 PM
Told my daughter about a funny advert I saw years ago. Guy goes to girl’s apartment before a date, she invites him to wait in the lounge while she finishes getting ready. He plays with her annoying yappy dog. He bounces a ball for it, it bounces out the window... and the dog leaps out after it. Can’t remember the product advertised though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on August 15, 2018, 12:34:16 AM
Told my daughter about a funny advert I saw years ago. Guy goes to girl’s apartment before a date, she invites him to wait in the lounge while she finishes getting ready. He plays with her annoying yappy dog. He bounces a ball for it, it bounces out the window... and the dog leaps out after it. Can’t remember the product advertised though.

https://youtu.be/ypRTT1HmZAU
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on August 15, 2018, 12:39:22 AM
That Harvester ad which tries to be a bit Black Mirror and desperately tries to shoe-horn in an unconvincing meme of 'sneaky Harvester' (presumably nicked from 'cheeky nandos' - which is a sort of thing, people have done annoying songs about it on youtube).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on August 15, 2018, 08:03:20 AM
That Harvester ad which tries to be a bit Black Mirror and desperately tries to shoe-horn in an unconvincing meme of 'sneaky Harvester' (presumably nicked from 'cheeky nandos' - which is a sort of thing, people have done annoying songs about it on youtube).

Not mention Cheeky Volvic. Watch out boys!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOxtWKM4Yeo
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on August 15, 2018, 08:38:17 AM
https://youtu.be/ypRTT1HmZAU

That’s it. But almost nothing like how I remember it. AND they chicken out by showing the dog survived... somehow. And I bet they thought they were being ultra hip an relevant by parodying the Anthony Head Nescafé ads.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on August 15, 2018, 08:59:43 AM
That Harvester ad which tries to be a bit Black Mirror and desperately tries to shoe-horn in an unconvincing meme of 'sneaky Harvester' (presumably nicked from 'cheeky nandos' - which is a sort of thing, people have done annoying songs about it on youtube).

The phrase "cheeky Nando's" now means something to say after breaking wind.
I think it was on one of those 'Matt Berry on...' shows.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on August 15, 2018, 09:00:52 AM
That’s it. But almost nothing like how I remember it. AND they chicken out by showing the dog survived... somehow. And I bet they thought they were being ultra hip an relevant by parodying the Anthony Head Nescafé ads.

The "Lionel Blair cut" one was better.
I still refer to any similar spiky haircut like that.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 15, 2018, 10:47:11 AM
https://youtu.be/ypRTT1HmZAU

The "Lionel Blair cut" one was better.
I still refer to any similar spiky haircut like that.

Bloody hell, there's 2 blasts from the pasts. I even remember the music playing in the background in the salon. Obligatory "that dog's dead now" comment too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 15, 2018, 11:45:14 AM
I always say 'You could have a Lionel Blair cut - like mine' in a cockney accent, even if I'm not talking about hair cuts.

The look Blair gives the guy is his finest ever moment.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on August 15, 2018, 01:43:14 PM
The look Blair gives the guy is his finest ever moment.

A surprisingly great performance.

Christopher Biggins remembers the shock he felt upon seeing Lionel pull it off...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on August 19, 2018, 11:56:44 PM
Those Trivento red wine adverts are easily my most hated of 2018.

Every single thing about them pisses up my arsehole.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 20, 2018, 07:40:31 AM
Oh, those cunts have just done Ghostbusters.

Over the weekend I passed two branches of Halifax that have a single small Slimer window sticker near the entrance. No other visible references to Ghostbusters whatsoever, just one solitary Slimer lost among blue and yellow posters for mortgages and opening times. If you'd never seen the TV ads you'd think someone had slapped them up there for a laugh. It's literally "Look, one small thing from Ghostbusters, because that's ours now, we're inextricably linked forever" Unbelievably lazy and half-arsed and scrappy. I'm not saying it'd be better if every branch was done out like the Fire Station and dripping with GB paraphernalia (although it probably would at least make me pop in) but such a small effort is just worse than nothing at all.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on August 20, 2018, 08:08:14 AM
I HATE that bloke on the Halifax adverts. I actually feel nostalgic for Howard. Or that woman who destroyed Aretha's Think. And who worked round the corner from me. I once stood behind her in a newsagents queue you know.

I have never seen Ghostbusters.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 20, 2018, 08:38:13 AM
I see the Dogs Trust have gone for a slowed down, breathy version of a not very good song sung in a breathy manner for their latest ad.

Where do they get their ideas from?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 20, 2018, 02:10:21 PM
Speaking of Tim From The Office, is there supposed to be an unfolding narrative in the series of adverts for [what are they?] mobile phones?

Who remembers the hapless twat at the overseas wedding? The useless idiot in the underground car park? And the utterly inexplicable ones where he copped off with that woman who seemingly owned an island and gave him her daughters old phone for some reason... and now he's in a car in the rain breaking up with someone - surely not the island woman. What are they selling? Who's even thinking of buying? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

(also, in the car park one he was driving an early mark Triumph Spitfire. In the current one it's a Peugeot 504 coupe. Why has such a loser got such nice cars?)

And now there's another advert which uses several of the same ideas.

It's two women in a car in the rain this time. The older one is saying an emotional, final goodbye. The younger one - probably her daughter - pulls faces.

Oh! What a surprise!! She is breaking up with the old laptop which is on the back seat, and not the other person in the car like we first thought! Goodness me!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on August 30, 2018, 04:22:44 PM
If an advert is banned, should the media also be banned from showing a picture of the ad when they report on it? Otherwise it just means people will try to get their ads banned so they get more exposure.

The BBC seem to have a talent for giving publicity to banned ads.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ornlu on August 31, 2018, 09:46:09 AM
Co-op BBQ.

"On my burger I like a bit of cheese, ketchup - even salad!!" You don't put salad on a burger. Salads are already a meal item.

"I like cheese on hot dogs!" A bit weird, but whatever.

Nope. "Woah WOAH WOAH. Cheese? CHEESE?!" Everything stops. Silence. Horrified expressions. A stifling sense of exclusion and isolation diffuses over the garden.

"Tehe I'd put cheese on cornflakes if I could!" So relatable! We all know someone who would legitimately do that, don't we.

Early deaths all round.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 31, 2018, 10:07:19 AM
Saw an ad for a car (dunno which one) yesterday with some old song about being lucky, then the tagline was something like ''Isn't it funny how the harder you work, the luckier you are?'' Yes it's fucking hilarious how those lazy cleaners and McDonalds employees could work 27 hours a day and still never be able to afford one of your crap-machines even if they wanted to.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 31, 2018, 11:44:10 AM
That's a misquote, if I'm being generous, from the golfer Gary Player (or perhaps Arnold Palmer) who famously quipped 'the more I practice, the luckier I get,' which actually makes a lot of sense in the context of an already talented player of a game, rebuking someone who called him lucky.

I suppose it is true in many other contexts too. But the idea that all hard work has equal reward (or even any reward at all) is clearly stupid.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 31, 2018, 12:17:20 PM
There's a new advert for pile ointment. It consists of a slide show of various objects with a passing resemblance to bums, bottoms, clefts, ringpieces, and Emma Freuds. A voiceover (Miriam Margoles?) gently berates the viewer for his reticence and inhibition over the discussion of such an everyday matter. Don't be such a prude! We've all got one! she says.

And then ruins the effect by pronouncing the name of the product 'A New Sol'.

It's ANUS-ol. For crying out loud. ANUS!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 31, 2018, 01:03:48 PM
That's a misquote, if I'm being generous, from the golfer Gary Player (or perhaps Arnold Palmer) who famously quipped 'the more I practice, the luckier I get,' which actually makes a lot of sense in the context of an already talented player of a game, rebuking someone who called him lucky.

I suppose it is true in many other contexts too. But the idea that all hard work has equal reward (or even any reward at all) is clearly stupid.

And the other logical conclusion of that thought, namely that if you're 'unlucky' (including being too poor to afford an expensive car) then you just aren't working hard enough, is so off the mark it's offensive. I can just imagine the publications I'd almost guarantee carry the full page print version.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 31, 2018, 03:21:46 PM
Co-op BBQ.

"On my burger I like a bit of cheese, ketchup - even salad!!" You don't put salad on a burger. Salads are already a meal item.

"I like cheese on hot dogs!" A bit weird, but whatever.

Nope. "Woah WOAH WOAH. Cheese? CHEESE?!" Everything stops. Silence. Horrified expressions. A stifling sense of exclusion and isolation diffuses over the garden.

"Tehe I'd put cheese on cornflakes if I could!" So relatable! We all know someone who would legitimately do that, don't we.

Early deaths all round.

You can put iron filings on your cornflakes if you want, they're your cornflakes.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on August 31, 2018, 04:47:48 PM
And the other logical conclusion of that thought, namely that if you're 'unlucky' (including being too poor to afford an expensive car) then you just aren't working hard enough, is so off the mark it's offensive. I can just imagine the publications I'd almost guarantee carry the full page print version.

You're right!  I DO work hard! I deserve a (bottle of wiiiiiine) new car!

*I don't know how to do the 'score through' thing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on August 31, 2018, 04:58:03 PM
I really hate the tone of Delia Smith's voice in the new EE advert. She sounds like she's never spoken on camera before.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 01, 2018, 10:59:45 AM
I really hate the tone of Delia Smith's voice in the new EE advert. She sounds like she's never spoken on camera before.


Fucking annoying advert , that. It's on all the fucking time. It also seems to suggest that Kevin Bacon and Delia Smith live together, which is just fucking weird.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 05, 2018, 09:50:55 PM
I hate the adverts where it's someone cooking, listing the ingredients some fussy cunt kid doesn't like as they put them in the pot and then it finishes with 'but he loves his nan's stew'. Fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Rock on September 06, 2018, 04:49:31 AM
'ee, but he can't get enough of his grandad's hot spotted dick.'
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 06, 2018, 09:35:30 AM
Logged in today for this thread. Cheered me as always. Keep up the good work.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on September 06, 2018, 01:46:47 PM
Sarcastically commenting on adverts is one of my favourite passtimes, could we maybe append the word 'adverts' to the thread title so new members are more likely to join in? Mad Men finished several years ago and I didn't even get the reference when I first joined.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 06, 2018, 02:01:33 PM
Sarcastically commenting on adverts is one of my favourite passtimes, could we maybe append the word 'adverts' to the thread title so new members are more likely to join in?

Maybe
Bin the ads
or
Whinge the ads
or
Great bunch of ads
or
Egad these ads are bad
or
As advertising has become prevalent in modern society, it is increasingly being criticized. Advertising occupies public space and more and more invades the private sphere of people. According to Georg Franck, "It is becoming harder to escape from advertising and the media. Public space is increasingly turning into a gigantic billboard for products of all kind. The aesthetical and political consequences cannot yet be foreseen." Hanno Rauterberg in the German newspaper Die Zeit calls advertising a new kind of dictatorship that cannot be escaped. Ad creep says, "There are ads in schools, airport lounges, doctors offices, movie theaters, hospitals, gas stations, elevators, convenience stores, on the Internet, on fruit, on ATMs, on garbage cans and countless other places. There are ads on beach sand and restroom walls." "One of the ironies of advertising in our times is that as commercialism increases, it makes it that much more difficult for any particular advertiser to succeed, hence pushing the advertiser to even greater efforts." Within a decade advertising in radios climbed to nearly 18 or 19 minutes per hour, on prime-time television the standard until 1982 was no more than 9.5 minutes of advertising per hour, today it is between 14 and 17 minutes. With the introduction of the shorter 15-second-spot the total amount of ads increased even more. Ads are not only placed in breaks but also into sports telecasts during the game itself. They flood the Internet, a growing market. Other growing markets are product placements in entertainment programming and movies where it has become standard practice and virtual advertising where products get placed retroactively into rerun shows. Product billboards are virtually inserted into Major League Baseball broadcasts and in the same manner, virtual street banners or logos are projected on an entry canopy or sidewalks, for example during the arrival of celebrities at the 2001 Grammy Awards. Advertising precedes the showing of films at cinemas including lavish 'film shorts' produced by companies such as Microsoft or DaimlerChrysler. "The largest advertising agencies have begun working to co-produce programming in conjunction with the largest media firms", creating Infomercials resembling entertainment programming. Opponents equate the growing amount of advertising with a "tidal wave" and restrictions with "damming" the flood. Kalle Lasn, one of the most outspoken critics of advertising, considers advertising "the most prevalent and toxic of the mental pollutants. From the moment your radio alarm sounds in the morning to the wee hours of late-night TV microjolts of commercial pollution flood into your brain at the rate of around 3,000 marketing messages per day. Every day an estimated 12 billion display ads, 3 million radio commercials and more than 200,000 television commercials are dumped into North America's collective unconscious". In the course of their life, the average American watches three years of advertising on television.Video games incorporate products into their content. Special commercial patient channels in hospitals and public figures sporting temporary tattoos. A method unrecognisable as advertising is so-called guerrilla marketing which is spreading 'buzz' about a new product in target audiences. Cash-strapped U.S. cities offer police cars for advertising. Companies buy the names of sports stadiums for advertising. The Hamburg soccer Volkspark stadium first became the AOL Arena and then the HSH Nordbank Arena. The Stuttgart Neckarstadion became the Mercedes-Benz Arena, the Dortmund Westfalenstadion is the Signal Iduna Park. The former SkyDome in Toronto was renamed Rogers Centre. Whole subway stations in Berlin are redesigned into product halls and exclusively leased to a company. Düsseldorf has "multi-sensorial" adventure transit stops equipped with loudspeakers and systems that spread the smell of a detergent. Swatch used beamers to project messages on the Berlin TV-tower and Victory column, which was fined because it was done without a permit. The illegality was part of the scheme and added promotion. Christopher Lasch states that advertising leads to an overall increase in consumption in society; "Advertising serves not so much to advertise products as to promote consumption as a way of life."


Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 06, 2018, 02:23:56 PM
Or What A Load Of Fucking Cunt These Fucking Adverts On The Telly Are, For Fuck's Sake
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 07, 2018, 10:29:24 AM
Almost as ubiquitous as the slowed down version of a not very good song in the first place sung in a weedy manner by a breathy voiced girl is the appearance of the ulterior motive.

Family, who for one reason or another can't fucking stand their in-laws/shopping/cleaning suddenly start pestering their other half to book a holiday/take the dog for a walk/go to a certain restaurant.

Hmmmm, the other half can't work out why but she (usually 'she') knows that he (ususally) is up to something.  Ooooh, he's a crafty cunt this one.  Remember that time he said he'd take the bins out (he NEVER takes the bins out) - didn't come back for a MONTH!  Turns out he was banging a woman two streets away in Lanzarote!

These quirky pair are currently advertising a car of some description and Tesco.

They are, to coin a phrase 'a right couple of cunts'.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on September 07, 2018, 11:46:47 AM
The new fucking Wowcher advert with the woman miming "things that make you go wow"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on September 07, 2018, 01:54:12 PM
Is it just me, or do you not seem to get so many new advertising slogans that become entrenched in the public’s consciousness anymore? I don’t think saying “simples!” or “confused dot com” (when you’re confused) really count. Where are the “That’s why mum’s gone to Iceland” or “Vorksprung Durch Technic” of today?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lgpmachine on September 07, 2018, 04:24:40 PM
Is it just me, or do you not seem to get so many new advertising slogans that become entrenched in the public’s consciousness anymore? I don’t think saying “simples!” or “confused dot com” (when you’re confused) really count. Where are the “That’s why mum’s gone to Iceland” or “Vorksprung Durch Technic” of today?

Might be because it’s more about visuals since the advent of Sky Plus etc.  Rather than a slogan/catchphrase, the priority now is slapping a massive logo across the screen for as long as possible so that it still permeates your consciousness when you’re skipping through the ads.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on September 07, 2018, 05:03:22 PM
As good an explanation as any! It occurs to me though I don't read any print media anymore - does anyone? - so I see almost no ad copy anymore.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 07, 2018, 06:29:09 PM
Might be because it’s more about visuals since the advent of Sky Plus etc.  Rather than a slogan/catchphrase, the priority now is slapping a massive logo across the screen for as long as possible so that it still permeates your consciousness when you’re skipping through the ads.

Yet, interestingly1 Sky's VOD platform doesn't count an ad-impression unless you've played 75% of it in real-time.


1Not interestingly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Brian Freeze on September 07, 2018, 08:00:27 PM
I saw some utter pish and waffle that was supposed to be selling me some twats brand of clothes steamers.

Bloody hell it were terrible and over two minutes long to boot. I'm not critical enough to describe it as anything other than shite and be amazed that it didnt get thrown back in the "creators" face but hope someone with a better way with words spots it and does the dirty on it.

It was on youtube.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on September 07, 2018, 09:55:08 PM
I was idly browsing Youtube a few weeks ago when an ad for Cobra or San Miguel or something of that ilk came on. As my finger hovered near the 5-second skip button I noticed the full thing was over 14 fucking minutes long! In those few seconds I tried to imagine what it must feel like to know that outside the small group that made it, plus one or two advertising regulators, literally nobody will ever watch your work in full.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on September 07, 2018, 10:19:43 PM
Has anyone watched any of these ad movies? You know, the ones where Jean Reno or Peter Dinklage stand around looking deep and saying deep things... while holding bottles of Spanish beer. I think Mads Mikkelsen did one to promote a car. Those.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ornlu on September 08, 2018, 08:42:16 AM
I was idly browsing Youtube a few weeks ago when an ad for Cobra or San Miguel or something of that ilk came on. As my finger hovered near the 5-second skip button I noticed the full thing was over 14 fucking minutes long! In those few seconds I tried to imagine what it must feel like to know that outside the small group that made it, plus one or two advertising regulators, literally nobody will ever watch your work in full.

I accidentally let a whole 18-min one play in the background while I was in bed, and now half of all YT adverts I get are at least a few minutes long. Sodding algorithms.

and Sarah Millican really needs to dial it down a bit. "Bet ya wish this tagliatelle was in ya taglia-belly!" Fucking toe-curling twee shite.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 10, 2018, 08:42:37 AM
Yer Millican with her twee, fucking baby voice has already been mentioned above.

Fuck her and fuck the whole Tesco Food Love Stories.  The one about the baked eggs is the worst.  Baked egss.  Baked fucking eggs.  Who in their life has ever eaten, let alone made a baked egg?

If you have then you're a bastard too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 12, 2018, 10:31:46 AM
Alexa's a thing isn't it?  We normally use an old person, or a child to say inappropriate but check this guys, how about we say 'fuck that' and like let's get Alexa to blurt out something!

There are three ads running with an Alexa voice at the moment, I don't know what any of them are for but none of them are for Alexa.  What are those creatures meant to be?  Hedgehogs?  Rats? 

Alexa?  Take a running fuck at yourself.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on September 12, 2018, 10:37:19 AM
I will outlive de boath of you
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 12, 2018, 10:59:19 AM
One of the reasons I love the ranting in this thread is because I used to worry whether it was just me that noticed the manipulation, as everyone else around me was banging on about how they cried at the John Lewis or that James Corden one was "geeeeeenius". I felt alone as a sane man in a world of lunatics.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on September 12, 2018, 11:05:29 AM
I don't think an advert has ever made me more likely in getting or using a product. I was talking to someone ages ago ago boutique how fucking agobouttupud the Go Compare ads are whrn they first came out, and they said "but the annoyingness is a tactic to make you remember the product so you'll use it"

Funny that, cause if I think an advert is stupid or annoying I'm more likely to forget what the product is all about because all I can think of is the stupid advert, and then I just want to boycott the product because it's bee advert boutique figure or irritation  for me rather than a legit option
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 12, 2018, 11:43:07 AM
Speaking of James Corden, is anyone else having fun imagining the tragic back story behind his absence from the current Confused dot Com adverts?

Was there market research which concluded people hated the smug twat, but liked the dark blue S-Class Mercedes?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lgpmachine on September 12, 2018, 12:36:58 PM
I don't think an advert has ever made me more likely in getting or using a product.

The only time I’m aware of an advert directly making me buy a product is when I saw one for a Lion bar years ago.  It had a shot of a lion opening its mouth wide to roar, and as it did so the picture morphed into another shot of a Lion bar being snapped in half (the motion mimicking the animal) to reveal the caramelly goodness within.  It looked so appealing I bought one soon afterwards.

Makes me realise I haven’t seen an advert for, or eaten, a Lion bar for ages.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on September 12, 2018, 01:03:39 PM
I don't think an advert has ever made me more likely in getting or using a product. I was talking to someone ages ago ago boutique how fucking agobouttupud the Go Compare ads are whrn they first came out, and they said "but the annoyingness is a tactic to make you remember the product so you'll use it"

Funny that, cause if I think an advert is stupid or annoying I'm more likely to forget what the product is all about because all I can think of is the stupid advert, and then I just want to boycott the product because it's bee advert boutique figure or irritation  for me rather than a legit option

Stuff such as GoCompare's operatic abortions have certainly made me unlikely to use the service they're advertising.

I moved house early this year and Halifax royally fucked up the mortgage and nearly cost us the house, they were just totally incompetent, but its the Wizard of Oz and Ghostbusters adverts that are making me consider closing my bank account with them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 12, 2018, 02:24:40 PM
The current Halifax one with Ghostbusters is appalling on several levels. I've never seen the film, so have no beef personally with them doing to it what they presumably already did with Top Cat - but the idea of flogging "A CONTACTLESS DEBIT CARD" in 2018 as if it's somehow <<tHe FuTuRe>> is baffling. Surely the rest of us have had contactless debit cards for several thousand years, haven't we?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on September 12, 2018, 03:33:14 PM
These contactless cards work when covered in ectoplasm or substances of similar consistency.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 12, 2018, 05:16:41 PM
Every single person that was involved in the Ghostbusters advert can be accurately labelled as lazy and the opposite of creative.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 13, 2018, 06:11:43 PM
The current Halifax one with Ghostbusters is appalling on several levels. I've never seen the film, so have no beef personally with them doing to it what they presumably already did with Top Cat - but the idea of flogging "A CONTACTLESS DEBIT CARD" in 2018 as if it's somehow <<tHe FuTuRe>> is baffling. Surely the rest of us have had contactless debit cards for several thousand years, haven't we?

Yeah I thought that, think there'll be one starring Johnny 5 using one of these new-fangled cashpoint machines soon. And watch Ghostbusters btw, it's good.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 13, 2018, 06:54:21 PM
Every single person that was involved in the Ghostbusters advert can be accurately labelled as lazy and the opposite of creative.
It is the work of utter cunts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 13, 2018, 09:50:28 PM
Oh, lordy. I just saw the Viagra advert where the beardy bloke struts around to Steve Harley. Clearly he's just managed to fuck for the first time in years. His wife doesn't seem to mind that he's strutting around basically shouting, "I HAD A FUCK!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on September 14, 2018, 10:21:39 AM
One of the reasons I love the ranting in this thread is because I used to worry whether it was just me that noticed the manipulation, as everyone else around me was banging on about how they cried at the John Lewis or that James Corden one was "geeeeeenius". I felt alone as a sane man in a world of lunatics.

As I've undoubtedly mentioned on other threads, I got defriended by someone on Facebook for posting a sarky comment about those James Corden adverts. Not about his weight or anything. About the actual adverts. This was someone I knew in real life and had always got on very well with. But apparently: "If that's what you think about one of the nicest people in showbusiness what must you think of the rest of us?"

Had no contact with this bloke since, but on the off-chance he's reading this, I'd just like to say: "I thought you were okay David but now I think you're a prick." So there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 14, 2018, 10:43:43 AM
You are that Horne bloke, whatever his name was (Matthew?) and I claim my £5.00
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on September 14, 2018, 03:44:29 PM
You'd be out of luck, he's blown all his cash on legal fees trying to get the 1000mile restraining order Corden has against him. He can barely set foot in the British Isles anymore. He can't even try to get work in the US because whenever he goes to NY or LA to audition, Corden hears about it and gets there first, and Horne has to leave. The other guy in the insurance ads? Horne's ex's new fella. Helps that he even sort of looks like Horne. Horne's kids even call him Daddy. It's sad, really.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 21, 2018, 10:31:32 AM
I'm not anti-gambling but the non-stop barrage of adverts is nothing short of a scourge on society.  Worse than drugs, worse than drink it's fucking up lives like there's no tomorrow.

Gamble responsibly my arse.

The worst of these betnow365 cunts has to be the 'Health Lottery'.  Not the NHS y'see but a lottery that 'makes donations' to y'know 'health things'.  How that's allowed I'll never fucking know but they've surpassed themselves with their latest ad which basically boils down to 'Don't buy food - Gamble!'

You mother fuckers.

I hope you all die.  Genuinely.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on September 21, 2018, 09:48:07 PM
There's a spotify advert now for MBNA credit cards where the gimmick is telling the listener they need the "MBN A-Team", and the music they've got playing in the background sounds like they didn't get permission to use the actual A-Team theme so they've commissioned someone to make something that sounds exactly like it but is just different enough to be copyright compliant.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: GMTV on September 22, 2018, 07:26:23 PM
When some shitey youtube advert comes on I tap furiously in the hope it has a video uploaded I can write a withering comment on.  Always a disappointment when there isn't and it's just a link to a website.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 22, 2018, 08:40:21 PM
It's probably been 5+ years but if you can tolerate Spotify ads you're better than me.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on September 23, 2018, 06:31:17 PM
That Lloyds advert with the dreadful version of the Olive song is really annoying me at the moment.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 24, 2018, 08:38:16 AM
Those two Nationwide arseholes are back.  It's like they never went away.

I hope one of them knows the other's pin number and cleans them out.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on September 24, 2018, 10:37:00 AM
I'm gEttington very sick of the DUM DE DE DUM song in the LV adverts
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 24, 2018, 01:10:40 PM
Those two Nationwide arseholes are back.  It's like they never went away.

I hope one of them knows the other's pin number and cleans them out.

I think they might be a couple but my wife insists the one on the left with the woolly hat is gay.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 24, 2018, 01:14:26 PM
I'm gEttington very sick of the DUM DE DE DUM song in the LV adverts

Heard in the context of The Sonics other output on a compilation LP, it stands up well in comparison to songs like Psycho, Strychnine, Boss Hoss and their DEFINITIVE version of Louie Louie... but its adoption by Liverpool Victoria makes me embarrassed to admit I know them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 24, 2018, 01:58:44 PM
Heard in the context of The Sonics other output on a compilation LP, it stands up well in comparison to songs like Psycho, Strychnine, Boss Hoss and their DEFINITIVE version of Louie Louie... but its adoption by Liverpool Victoria makes me embarrassed to admit I know them.

I loved that song once way back in my garage rock obsession. I hate it now. Louie louie however will always remain cool no matter how many times I hear it. Right now i'm gonna put on The Creation Makin Time
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 24, 2018, 02:00:18 PM
That Lloyds advert with the dreadful version of the Olive song is really annoying me at the moment.

Much discussed here but it is the very perfect example of evil sharps bin contents. I want every single person and horse involved in that ad to contract a terminal illness.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on September 25, 2018, 12:37:12 PM
Went to the cinema last night and there was a new overblown John Lewis ad - bunch of kids at a school show doing a version of Bohemian Rhapsody with over the top special effects.  Crowd lapped it up.  I was sat there thinking 'god is this their Christmas ad? The bloody football season's barely started yet!'
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 25, 2018, 02:59:53 PM
Is that different to the version that's on the telly? I'm sure even in the 'full' version I've seen Bo'Rap is subjected to some quite savage cuts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on September 25, 2018, 03:58:20 PM
Didn't realize it was already on telly.  It certainly went forever.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 25, 2018, 06:17:32 PM
I saw it a couple of weeks ago in late August on TV and had the exact same 'Christmas ads, wtf?!' thought but someone on here said it's not their Christmas ad, it's something to do with them working with Waitrose. Still feels suspicious though. Fuck knows what their actual Xmas ad will be, Freddie Mercury reanimated?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on September 25, 2018, 10:00:44 PM
I don't understand this First Direct advert (https://youtu.be/NzMrs4xapJs). Not only is it shit and annoying, but why would other banks be "made to display this news in their thousands of branches"? Surely you wouldn't bother getting a sign printed up if you lost?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Maurice Yeatman on September 25, 2018, 11:27:22 PM
"I'm thinking 'comedian who can look pleased with himself'. Ideas?"

(https://i.imgur.com/mfEKMNq.png)
(https://i.imgur.com/l5I1u2C.png)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 27, 2018, 09:51:27 AM
There's a radio ad for Tim From Out Of the Office where he chats to a Gareth(?) about a new band who he's never heard of.

It's quick I'll give them that.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 27, 2018, 12:57:56 PM
Give Tim from The Office a break, don't you know his Dad's having a cancer scare?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqWqFW7sXlE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqWqFW7sXlE)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lgpmachine on September 27, 2018, 08:23:26 PM
No idea what the punchline is supposed to be here.  Isn’t it perfectly reasonable to expect that Spanish can be learnt in Spain?

https://youtu.be/Su3vDNYCgAU

A clothed, talking meerkat is apparently fine, but he learnt Spanish in Spain?  That’s a leap too far for the waiter.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 28, 2018, 10:58:34 AM
No idea what the punchline is supposed to be here.  Isn’t it perfectly reasonable to expect that Spanish can be learnt in Spain?

https://youtu.be/Su3vDNYCgAU

A clothed, talking meerkat is apparently fine, but he learnt Spanish in Spain?  That’s a leap too far for the waiter.

Glad it's not just me. Are they expecting him to be more specific about exactly where in Spain, and say what he was doing there? No idea. Maybe it works better in Russian (they are supposed to be Russian aren't they?). 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuellar on September 28, 2018, 11:06:14 AM
Count me in to the 'what's the gag there?' club. Infuriates me every time I see it.

The nerdy meek meerkat having an interesting past that involved living in Spain for a while? But the waiter doesn't know him from Adam so the normal reaction would be 'Oh that's interesting! What were you doing there?' Not bemusement.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 28, 2018, 11:42:25 AM
Simples?  Mind bogglings more like. 

Tell you EXACTLY when this country went to the dogs, when we started taking financial advice from the disembodied heads of Cockney character actors and verminous rodents.

what have we become?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: GMTV on September 28, 2018, 12:24:32 PM
Count me in to the 'what's the gag there?' club. Infuriates me every time I see it.

The nerdy meek meerkat having an interesting past that involved living in Spain for a while? But the waiter doesn't know him from Adam so the normal reaction would be 'Oh that's interesting! What were you doing there?' Not bemusement.

The waiter knows its Sergei of comparethemeerkat fame. He's amazed Sergei had spent time in Spain as he was under the impression the meerkats had lived in Meerkovo their whole lives, until their recent fame where they seem now to be UK based.

Think there may be a subtle hint at generic Spanish racism though too, which in itself could be considered racist. He's rather ignorantly assumed a Meerkovo Meerkat wouldn't be cultured enough to have travelled and taken the time to learn a new language.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on September 28, 2018, 01:45:47 PM
I hope someone's keeping track of what's what in the Meerkat universe as I dont' want to read in twenty years 'When did the Meerkats jump the shark?'

#meercannon
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 28, 2018, 07:22:14 PM
It's a joke which might work in America (some of the recent adverts - the Cinema ones - have been set in the US, haven't they?), with an American audience - where the if answer to 'where did you learn Spanish?' wasn't 'Mexico', it might have some comic potential... but they were in a Tapas bar, not a specifically Mexican cantina, and they are in the UK

I'm sure the joke rests on everyone's surprise that the one with the glasses knows anything all.

Happily, I have never bought ANYTHING endorsed by these, Corden, The 118 'Brothers', or the Fat Opera Cunt - so they're wasting their money really.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: garnish on September 28, 2018, 08:44:07 PM
I just assumed you're meant to think the meercat is going to say 'on the internet' or 'an evening class'.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 29, 2018, 07:26:28 PM

I'm sure the joke rests on everyone's surprise that the one with the glasses knows anything all.


I dunno, they were implying Nicole Kidman was trying to get into his pants a while ago. Not that that means much though really, I think it was more a dig at Tom Cruise than anything else.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on October 23, 2018, 11:16:55 PM
The latest Martin Freeman phone ad has our eponymous hero trapped on a train, experiencing increasing frustration with his fellow passengers as they consume entertainment on their devices. When he finally snaps and shouts, "what is wrong with you people!", why does no-one ping back, "we're paying your wages, mate". Or is that the joke? I half expected them to be watching Fargo, The Office or that Beatles episode of World Of Pub. But it just ended. In these ads, is he Martin Freeman or a normal person?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bronzy on October 23, 2018, 11:46:04 PM
I like to imagine the train crashed and everybody died

Including Martin Freeman
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on October 24, 2018, 08:34:44 AM
Who's that gigolo walking down the street?
With the coke in his hand and a swagger in his feet?
Huh? Fucker.

Busy high street that.  Lot's of fruit and veg on the pavement.  You could almost assume that Coke Mango is healthy by association.

But back to my main point.

Huh? Fucker.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on October 24, 2018, 09:54:09 AM
The latest Tim from the Office phone ad has our eponymous hero trapped on a train, experiencing increasing frustration with his fellow passengers as they consume entertainment on their devices. When he finally snaps and shouts, "what is wrong with you people!", why does no-one ping back, "we're paying your wages, mate". Or is that the joke? I half expected them to be watching Fargo, The Office or that Beatles episode of World Of Pub. But it just ended. In these ads, is he Tim from the Office or a normal person?

I think that the 'joke' in that advert is that they're all watching an episode of something which he is behind with - his fear is that he will see something which will spoil his future enjoyment of whatever it is. His horror is that no matter who he sits next to is watching exactly the same thing.

To answer your question, I think that Tim from the Office is playing A Man in all of these adverts (as opposed to the famous actor Tim from the Office).

My own question is: is he playing The Same Man in all of them? The mobile phone tarrif-obsessed big mouth at the wedding? The mobile phone signal-obsessed coward in the underground car park? And if so, what happened to The Woman whose private desert island he visited last xmas where she apparently gave him her daughter's mobile phone?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: McFlymo on October 24, 2018, 01:52:25 PM
Just chipping in to say thanks for the lovely fury of this thread.

But here, I have AdBlock (and it seems, AdBlock Plus) on my browser and never get Youtube ads before videos. I know more and more sites try to guilt you out of using AdBlock (fuck them), but I'm surprised by how many people I know don't seem to have this and have to click through YouTube ads.

It doesn't work for 4OD. And I still have to put up with ads when I'm at my parents' house or in a taxi. Radio adverts are a whole other level of ridiculous.

My only contribution to AD FURY here, is an ad I heard at the start of the Blindboy Podcast for Financial Times, slagging off Teresa May. It just seemed hilarious that the newspaper is trying to promote itself by playing on the collective disapproval of a shit Prime Minister. It goes something like, "Teresa May... Too late? Too lazy? Too loud? Read the Financial Times to find out!" Because they have the scoop and the definitive, unquestionable truth on how YOU SHOULD FEEL about Teresa May. If it was an ad for a documentary, where people had spent months following her and interviewing her etc, to try to give us all a more detailed insight, then fair enough, but it was a general ad, promoting the newspaper, which as far as I know, is just a boring load of shite about how successful rich peoples' companies are doing. Also, the grim reality of a huge newspaper company promoting their product through denigrating an popular figure, in the hope of appealing to people who really love or hate that person.... Sigh.

Just all the fuck off...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on October 24, 2018, 01:56:55 PM
It doesn't work for 4OD

I think that if you enable AdBlock when the program starts, you can avoid all further ad breaks - you just have to put up with the ones at the start.
That certainly used to be the case anyway. Genuinely can't remember the last time I watched Channel 4.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: McFlymo on October 24, 2018, 02:00:29 PM
Naw, 4OD does the AdBlock Wall of Shame now, where you can't get the program to start until you turn it off. Bastids.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on October 24, 2018, 02:02:28 PM
UKTV Player (or whatever it's called) is a massive fucker for this. I'm sat there enjoying Professor David Wilson's Top 100 Serial Killers or one of the other shows with a very similar title about the same serial killers and every fifteen minutes it stops for an ad break. Then to pour salt in the wound not only is every advert the same each time, they put a little counter in the corner of the screen saying how long is left. And it's always about 200 seconds. 200 seconds?! That's over three minutes! Ad breaks on normal telly aren't that long, are they? I can have a piss, a shit, a wank and ring my mum in 200 seconds for Christ's sake.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on October 24, 2018, 02:21:14 PM
I can have a piss, a shit, a wank and ring my mum in 200 seconds for Christ's sake.

Just curious - how many times would you wash your hands during this process? And if the answer is 'fewer than three', in between which of the activities would you not bother?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on October 24, 2018, 02:22:28 PM
Just curious - how many times would you wash your hands during this process? And if the answer is 'fewer than three', in between which of the activities would you not bother?

I only feel it's necessary to wash my hands after ringing my mum.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Norton Canes on October 24, 2018, 05:09:14 PM
OK, got a song from an old ad going round in my head and I can't place it. It's a soft rock style tune and it goes "Got a [something] in my pocket/Got a [thing] to make my ['day'?]"

Go get it kids

 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on October 24, 2018, 05:12:04 PM
Durex?
Mates?
Trojan?
Handgun?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Norton Canes on October 24, 2018, 05:22:22 PM
Yeah OK actually it does sound a bit dodgy the way I put it

Er I think it was for beer or something

Perhaps it's not 'day'.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on October 24, 2018, 08:18:18 PM
Dunno if it's on telly or just in the cinema but there's a Barclaycard ad at the minute that starts out as a cartoon fairytale about a girl wanting to be famous then it cuts to a very slickly choreographed video of her dancing about and spitting rhymes as a grime artist. It's all a bit too slick and polished to be proper grime, the bars are a little to saccharine and clear. You can tell there's been a committee painstakingly making sure it's pc without upsetting middle-england too much.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Norton Canes on October 24, 2018, 09:58:25 PM
'Money'. Got some 'money' in my pocket.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on October 24, 2018, 10:04:16 PM
'Money'. Got some 'money' in my pocket.

Evie by Stevie Wright? https://youtu.be/In1VeSjsBT8
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pingers on October 24, 2018, 10:08:41 PM
I can have a piss, a shit, a wank and ring my mum in 200 seconds for Christ's sake.

Because you do them at the same time.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Norton Canes on October 25, 2018, 09:19:01 AM
Evie by Stevie Wright? https://youtu.be/In1VeSjsBT8

Didn't listen to the whole 11 minutes but it sounds like it, yeah. 'Car keys'. Ta.

Still can't remember which advert...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on October 25, 2018, 04:32:29 PM
Didn't listen to the whole 11 minutes but it sounds like it, yeah. 'Car keys'. Ta.

Still can't remember which advert...

Does he say '...spend my DUE'S' or something like that?  It's in my head now.

I'm running a search on it so it'll probably come back to me at 3 in the morning.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on October 25, 2018, 09:37:06 PM
Didn't listen to the whole 11 minutes but it sounds like it, yeah. 'Car keys'. Ta.

Still can't remember which advert...

Budweiser, I reckon. Can't find it on YouTube, but there are a few Google results where people have asked about it: http://www.kgbanswers.co.uk/which-bandsinger-did-the-budweiser-advert-song-in-the-80s-early-90s-that-started-got-some-money-in-my-pocket/1905924
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Norton Canes on October 25, 2018, 09:41:48 PM
Good work
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on October 26, 2018, 09:00:32 AM
Budweiser, I reckon. Can't find it on YouTube, but there are a few Google results where people have asked about it: http://www.kgbanswers.co.uk/which-bandsinger-did-the-budweiser-advert-song-in-the-80s-early-90s-that-started-got-some-money-in-my-pocket/1905924

Yeah, I was thinking beer or cider.  Budwieser does ring the bell now.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on October 28, 2018, 04:57:48 PM
Why the hell are there so many toothpaste and toothbrush adverts on at the moment? We watch quite different channels and programmes so it's not a demographic thing, but all of them have endless ads of young women (and it's always women) blarting on about healthy mouth healthy me and the importance of gums and wanting whiter teeth and electric toothbrushes versus non-electric and on and on it goes, worse than mobile ads a few years ago.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on October 28, 2018, 05:07:18 PM
Why the hell are there so many toothpaste and toothbrush adverts on at the moment? We watch quite different channels and programmes so it's not a demographic thing, but all of them have endless ads of young women (and it's always women) blarting on about healthy mouth healthy me and the importance of gums and wanting whiter teeth and electric toothbrushes versus non-electric and on and on it goes, worse than mobile ads a few years ago.

I've got an electric toothbrush.
Not sure why - I don't even have any electric teeth.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on October 28, 2018, 08:05:02 PM
Probably getting people to brush their teeth more, in preparation for further post-Brexit austerity when they cease NHS dental treatment. It has to happen, I’m afraid - back in the idealised glorious 1950s they want to take us back to, nobody had teeth anyway.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on October 29, 2018, 09:37:40 AM
If it's not toothbrush ads it's vacuum cleaner ads.

Bushing - hovering.  Nae wunner everyone has OCDs these days.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on October 29, 2018, 09:42:20 AM
I'm so sick of that advert with the woman talking about the difference between big and small. Ive seen it so many times and I still don't have a fucking clue what kind of point it's supposed to be making. She looks so pleased with herself as well
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on October 29, 2018, 09:58:42 AM
Nationwide are at it again I see.  Where do they find these cunts?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on October 29, 2018, 01:34:20 PM
I'm so sick of that advert with the woman talking about the difference between big and small. Ive seen it so many times and I still don't have a fucking clue what kind of point it's supposed to be making. She looks so pleased with herself as well

We decided the other day that she's a low level drug dealer. Sitting in a parked car in a field with the door open in her bomber jacket, talking in code, waiting for kids walking home from school. Next thing they know they'll be in some dingy flat being told they only have to ''stay if you want to stay'' yet the doors are locked.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on October 30, 2018, 10:09:07 AM
We decided the other day that she's a low level drug dealer. Sitting in a parked car in a field with the door open in her bomber jacket, talking in code, waiting for kids walking home from school. Next thing they know they'll be in some dingy flat being told they only have to ''stay if you want to stay'' yet the doors are locked.

I'm going to remember what you said and treat it as canon for when I next watch the advert
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on October 30, 2018, 10:38:23 AM
We decided the other day that she's a low level drug dealer. Sitting in a parked car in a field with the door open in her bomber jacket, talking in code, waiting for kids walking home from school. Next thing they know they'll be in some dingy flat being told they only have to ''stay if you want to stay'' yet the doors are locked.

Yes! That supercilious half-smile on her face, daring you to go with her. I'm kind of tempted myself...

Trying to find out more about it (it's an early 80s Chevrolet Caprice) reveals that the production company behind it is called Rattling Stick, for which the people responsible need to be taken out and shot and their relatives are forced to watch.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on October 30, 2018, 10:49:00 PM
Watching this compilation of Super Bowl ads, I was wondering... a) what did Super Bowl ads do in the days before big stars did commercials? And, b) what is it that makes so many of them quite so... naff?

https://youtu.be/XPt3uMaqG7c
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on October 30, 2018, 10:50:36 PM
Watching this compilation of Super Bowl ads, I was wondering... a) what did Super Bowl ads do in the days before big stars did commercials? And, b) what is it that makes so many of them quite so... naff?

https://youtu.be/XPt3uMaqG7c

Have to watch two Youtube ads to watch a youtube video of ads.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on October 31, 2018, 04:16:25 PM
Have to watch two Youtube ads to watch a youtube video of ads.

Yes the irony of this has struck me before. And you'd think they'd at least have the algorithm technology now to have the most recent ad for whatever products the ads in the video are for (if they still exist.)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on November 01, 2018, 09:51:03 AM
What is going on with the woman voicing the "all hail voxi" advert, I have to mute it when it comes on
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Soup on November 01, 2018, 03:24:43 PM
Is this the place to put a vintage ad about  how sexy babies are (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7IP5SV6GqQ)?

"Because innocence is sexier than you think... for your baby, at Christmas."

Paedophilia was to the 70s what the Spice Girls were to the 90s.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on November 01, 2018, 06:01:38 PM
I was listening to TalkSport2 the other day. I wouldn't normally, but I thought there might be some cricket.

Anyway, someone's re-recorded the song What's That Coming Over the Hill is it a Monster (Is it a Monster?)? by the group Automatic so the chorus goes "What's that coming over the hill - Van Monster (van Monster)", presumably in an effort to sell vans to people who want to buy vans.

Completely baffling.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Vodka Margarine on November 01, 2018, 11:57:26 PM
I was listening to TalkSport2 the other day. I wouldn't normally, but I thought there might be some cricket.

Anyway, someone's re-recorded the song What's That Coming Over the Hill is it a Monster (Is it a Monster?)? by the group Automatic so the chorus goes "What's that coming over the hill - Van Monster (van Monster)", presumably in an effort to sell vans to people who want to buy vans.

Completely baffling.

It all started with 'Another One Drives A Duster'. Now the replacing-a-word-in-a-famous-song-with-the-name-of-a-car genie is well truly out of the lamp. If I knew the first thing about cars in 2018 I could probably reel off a dozen or so just in my lunch break.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on November 02, 2018, 10:12:43 AM
It all started with 'Another One Drives A Duster'. Now the replacing-a-word-in-a-famous-song-with-the-name-of-a-car genie is well truly out of the lamp. If I knew the first thing about cars in 2018 I could probably reel off a dozen or so just in my lunch break.

The Pogues - Fiesta
Jane's Addiction - Of Corsa
Bob Marley and the Wailers - Kadjar Be Loved
The Saturdays - up!
Laurie Anderson - O Superb Man
Cliff Richard - It Astra Be You, It Astra Be Me
Tinie Tempah - Passat
Kid Creole and the Coconuts - Annie I'm Not Your Caddy
Starsailor - fortwo The Floor
Kelis - Caught Out There (i8 You So Much Right Now)

There that's ten. Invoice to follow. Payment on publication.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lebowskibukowski on November 02, 2018, 11:01:43 AM
The new Jacamo ads that book end the adverts on one of the satellite channels are particularly awful. 'Pretend-lad-mate-gentle-banter' seems to have been a trope for a few years now and it is absolutely soul-sapping.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on November 02, 2018, 11:58:04 AM
The new Jacamo ads that book end the adverts on one of the satellite channels are particularly awful. 'Pretend-lad-mate-gentle-banter' seems to have been a trope for a few years now and it is absolutely soul-sapping.

"Alright mate coming down the footie?"

I will concede that some people sometimes called football 'footie'. But Kevin Bacon? Fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on November 02, 2018, 12:36:19 PM
Lads lads lads! And everybody!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bogbrainedmurphy on November 04, 2018, 03:46:39 PM
I actually quite liked that different version of Olive - You're Not Alone for a bit, until it came on every 10 minutes. Ta, Lloyds.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bogbrainedmurphy on November 04, 2018, 03:47:22 PM
Lads lads lads! And everybody!

Horrendous.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bronzy on November 04, 2018, 04:29:17 PM
Lads lads lads! And everybody!

Big game today, eh?

Fuck off you unfunny cunt
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gmoney on November 09, 2018, 08:49:36 PM
I'm so sick of that advert with the woman talking about the difference between big and small. Ive seen it so many times and I still don't have a fucking clue what kind of point it's supposed to be making. She looks so pleased with herself as well

I hate hate hate this advert with every atom of my mass. I've sworn off ever getting a Giff Gaff sim card. I would love to have been around in the meetings where they came up with this, and thought it was the best way to sell something.

A good friend of mine and former housemate is in the new series of Iceland ads. I hope I'm not starstruck next time I see him.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bronzy on November 10, 2018, 02:01:06 AM
A good friend of mine and former housemate is in the new series of Iceland ads. I hope I'm not starstruck next time I see him.

He'll have Goodfella's pizzas coming out of his ears and arsehole, the lucky bastard.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on November 10, 2018, 08:30:11 AM
Channel 4 sponsorship bumpers.

Have hated the fucking glitzy monaco style spy thriller bollocks ones for ages

but

tonight my tolerance for the other ones suddenly out of nowhere snapped and so

tonight i was entertaining fantasies of getting every single one of those bizarre objects - pot plants, chainsaws, traffic lights, etc etc - that ludicrously and seamlessly dive into the sides of that stupid red car, and shoving every single one of them up the bottoms of the creatives who thought of them

'ABSORB THESE, YOU FUCKERS !!!'

Yes.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gmoney on November 10, 2018, 09:47:03 AM
He'll have Goodfella's pizzas coming out of his ears and arsehole, the lucky bastard.

I've just realised it's actually the new Argos ads. No pizza for him :(
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bronzy on November 10, 2018, 11:44:31 AM
I've just realised it's actually the new Argos ads. No pizza for him :(

He'll have laminated catalogues coming out of his ears and arsehole, the lucky bastard.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on November 15, 2018, 07:50:34 AM
Elton "Fucking" John? And didn't John Lewis use Your Song (albeit warbled by Ellie Goulding) back in 2010?

HARD BREXIT NOW.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on November 18, 2018, 03:01:10 PM
Just caught a McDonald's advert that seemed to suggest they were going to slaughter and eat reindeer.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 18, 2018, 04:33:00 PM
Sarcastically commenting on adverts is one of my favourite passtimes, could we maybe append the word 'adverts' to the thread title so new members are more likely to join in? Mad Men finished several years ago and I didn't even get the reference when I first joined.

Not just new members, I've been here for aeons and I didn't realise this was an adverts thread.  I foolishly started a thread the other day to comment on an ad and thanks to Pseudopath for alerting me to this one or I'd have been none the wiser.  I never saw Mad Men so the title meant nothing to me and I never ventured in.

Almost as ubiquitous as the slowed down version of a not very good song in the first place sung in a weedy manner by a breathy voiced girl is the appearance of the ulterior motive.

I can't stand that one with Everybody Wants To Rule The World sung by some girl who sounds like she's got cotton wool stuffed in her gob.  What an annoying voice.  Ah, I just Googled to find out what the ad is for as I couldn't remember.  It's for Barnardo's.  I was going to delete this comment as I didn't want to take the piss out of a disabled person (if that's who's doing the singing) but another link suggests the person singing it is Lorde.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Queneau on November 18, 2018, 09:36:13 PM
Just caught a McDonald's advert that seemed to suggest they were going to slaughter and eat reindeer.

Why not? Papa Johns has an ostrich pizza.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on November 18, 2018, 09:38:17 PM
Just caught a McDonald's advert that seemed to suggest they were going to slaughter and eat reindeer.

One of those promotional tie-ins with Rudolph: The Movie*?

*might not exist
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on November 23, 2018, 11:57:54 AM
You've got to admire the brass balls (and production values) of 3's latest campaign: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP6Flfu42Qk

The comments are obviously full of pissed-off Christians declaring this advert as a true sign of the end times, but even I was a little stunned by that Titanic joke. I know it's been over 100 years, but the sheer flippancy is astonishing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buzby on November 26, 2018, 06:26:25 PM
Hot on the heels of Peter Kay, The Muppets and Stallone, Bobby DeNiro is apparenttly the latest sleb to take a six figure sum in exchange for what dignity he had left to shill Tory party donors Warburton's baked goods.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on November 26, 2018, 06:34:17 PM
I was largely neutral towards Martin Freeman previously - he was OK in The Office, good in Sherlock, I thought he was a good fit for Bilbo Baggins and was disappointed when initially it looked like his schedule wouldn’t allow him to take the role. Didn’t mind him in Fargo and Black Panther despite his rubbish American accents. But the Vodafone ads have tipped me over into full-on dislike. Just want to punch him, frankly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Vodka Margarine on November 28, 2018, 12:46:17 AM
I was thinking along very similar lines myself recently and yes, those ads are the point of no return. Dawn's boyfriend should've caved his face in straight away.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on November 28, 2018, 03:19:01 PM
That fucking Photobox advert with the singer honking "came here for the leeeuuuuooo-HOOAAAHH" (translation: "came here for the love, oh") seems to be on every 10 seconds
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on November 28, 2018, 04:56:53 PM
I was largely neutral towards Tim from The Office previously - he was OK in The Office, good in Sherlock, I thought he was a good fit for Bilbo Baggins and was disappointed when initially it looked like his schedule wouldn’t allow him to take the role. Didn’t mind him in Fargo and Black Panther despite his rubbish American accents. But the Vodafone ads have tipped me over into full-on dislike. Just want to punch him, frankly.

I haven't 'run the numbers' as they say, but I reckon at least 25% of this and the previous Advert Thread was concerned with the continuing (?) saga of Tim from The Office and his mobile phone.

I still want to know - is it a soap opera, a la The Bisto Family, or the Coffee Commercial Couple https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkQg1GTBosE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkQg1GTBosE)?

Or the Bounty Islanders?

Quote from: Joe Cornish
THE TRUE STORY OF THE BOUNTY BAR HUNTERS.

In May 1977 the world famous Bounty Hunters first appeared on British television screens. Many still believe them to be the concoction of advertising executives, but startling new theories, revealed here for the first time, suggest a more sinister reality. Sources suggest that it was 1975 when Mars Confectionery executives first heard rumours of a mythical "Bounty Bar", believed to be the actual "taste of paradise". According to legend, the bar was produced by a tribe of natives on an undiscovered South Sea Island. It formed their sole diet, held powerful aphrodisiac properties, and took centre stage in the tribe's mysterious fertility rituals. Excited executives immediately dispatched a team of sexy explorers to search for the bar, together with a camera crew, to capture their adventures and turn them into television commercials. The resulting campaign was to become one of the most famous and enduring in the history of confectionery advertising. But many believe that behind the images of beautific tropical islands lies a true story of obsession and sexual perversity. The evidence is there for all to see in the original adverts.
ADVERT ONE: THE BOUNTY HUNTERS (1977)

ACTION:

Three scuba divers, one man and two women, emerge from the shallow waters of a paradisical desert island. They undress and head up the beach to discover two Bounty Bars behind a palm tree. They settle down and bite into the bars, then proceed to eye each other up accompanied by the famous Bounty Song: "The Bounty Hunters are here, they're searching for a paradise…"

ANALYSIS:

From the moment we first see these so-called Bounty Hunters, it's clear they're after something moist and tender that isn't coconut. In a telling early shot, one of the women unzips her wetsuit to release her captive breasts, which swell forth eagerly in big close up to sparkle in the sunlight. The Bounty Hunting component of their expedition is derisory. They find the bars too easily, laid out on a palm leaf beside an artfully split coconut. One of the women then lies back on the sand and bites the top off a bar. The way she guides the top between her lips with the tip of her tongue suggests she may well have a background in porno.

The way the man watches her with an evil look in his eye suggests he might have a serious criminal record. And the way the second woman watches them both suggests that she swings both ways and that any second now they might all start to "party". The final post-coital shot of all three watching the sun set behind their yacht suggests that they did, it was fantastic, and they've decided to live there together forever.

ADVERT TWO: VILLAGE OF THE BOUNTY HUNTERS (1983)

ACTION:

A blonde woman wearing a skimpy bikini clambers through a tropical jungle. She arrives in a small clearing where five other beautiful scantily clad young models of both sexes have established a small Bounty Hunting commune. She's immediately offered a refreshing Bounty Bar from a large carved wooden bowl. She sits next to a blonde man and laughs at whatever he's saying while she eats her Bounty seductively. Soon they're all munching on Bounties and eyeing each other up suggestively. The accompanying voice-over explains that "the Bounty Hunters have made their home in paradise, for here they have found the Bounty Bar, the taste of paradise."

ANALYSIS:

On close observation, the people in this second commercial are recognisable as the original Bounty Hunters. They have clearly settled on the island and built bamboo huts to live in, with the Bounty Bar as their sole diet. The powerful aphrodisiac property of the bar has led them to create a Charles Mansonesque, sex-based commune. The constant sunshine keeps their complexions free from zits, and the malnutrition that results from constant Bounty eating keeps them slim and photogenic. Their beautiful new companions are either the original camera crew, or friends who have dropped out of society and traveled to the island guided by a secret Alex Garland-style map. They now spend their lives gathering Bounty Bars, lounging around eating them, then engaging in prolonged group sex sessions. One can only imagine the number of small children who must be sheltering inside the huts. It's highly possible that this scenario actually existed, masterminded by Mars Executives, who dispatched a camera crew every few years to capture their superficially idyllic but actually deeply disturbing lifestyle.

Many believe that this is what actually happened, and the second advert, filmed six years later, supports this theory.

ADVERT THREE: CHILDREN OF THE BOUNTY HUNTERS (1993)

ACTION:

It's midnight on Bounty Island, and a perfect quarter moon hangs in the starry sky. A dark skinned girl lies on a branch over a silvery rock pool, stuffing her face with a Bounty. A muscled man with flowing black hair comes running through the surf towards her. Soon they are holding hands beneath a palm tree, and leaning in to kiss one another. A coconut falls from a high palm tree, then smashes and spilts perfectly on the rocks below, gushing moonlit coconut juice, a clear symbol for sexual intercourse. Back on the beach, the girl reclines on the man's chest, chewing on a post coital bar. They look bored, depressed and gorgeous.

ANALYSIS:

Ten years have passed since the Bounty Hunting commune was established. However, there is no longer any sign of their bamboo huts or any of the original founder members. Instead, what we could be seeing here are their last surviving children, who have lived their entire lives on the island. Their skin-tone suggests possible inter-breeding with the island's native tribe. There is a mix of sadness, insanity and animal arousal in their eyes as they perform the perpetual ritual of Bounty Hunting, Bounty eating and Bounty stimulated sex. Deviod of education and ignorant of the outside world, this is the only life they know. Inbreeding has meant that their siblings have long since perished. Now the two last Bounty Children live on the island like lab rats, visited only by the occasional camera crew, who capture their sad empty lives for the sake of selling Bounty Bars in the Western world.

POSTSCRIPT

It's no coincidence that in 1997 Mars changed the Bounty adverts entirely. The Bounty Hunters and their paradise island were never to be seen again. They were replaced by a new concept featuring a girl lying in Central Park eating a Bounty, the grass around her coming alive with miniature jungle animals. Perhaps the rumours and the risk of exposure were too much for the company to take. Rumours that the current adverts use genetically bred mini-animals rather than digital effects, are unsubstantiated.

© 1993-2005 The Idler | Designed by Noble Savage


Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: im barry bethel on November 28, 2018, 05:01:14 PM
You've got to admire the brass balls (and production values) of 3's latest campaign: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP6Flfu42Qk

That made me laugh, especially the Henry VIII and Moses ones
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on December 01, 2018, 07:49:09 PM
The Plusnet guy is rapidly becoming my nemesis. It's now impossible to watch any non-BBC channels on Freeview without his intolerably chirpy presence invading your consciousness every twenty minutes.

I just put the TV on while typing that and less than a minute passed before he bloody popped up yet again. It's either him or the BT Broadband ad with Jimmy Nesbitt. No wonder live TV in the UK is dying on it's arse.

"Which is perfect if your phone buzzes and bleeps all the time..."

Phone's generally don't "bleep" any more mate, it's not 2003.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 01, 2018, 08:22:19 PM
The Plusnet guy is rapidly becoming my nemesis. It's now impossible to watch any non-BBC channels on Freeview without his intolerably chirpy presence invading your consciousness every twenty minutes.

I just put the TV on while typing that and less than a minute passed before he bloody popped up yet again. It's either him or the BT Broadband ad with Jimmy Nesbitt. No wonder live TV in the UK is dying on it's arse.

"Which is perfect if your phone buzzes and bleeps all the time..."

Phone's generally don't "bleep" any more mate, it's not 2003.

On the one with the white coats and the tube pumping things up, when he looks sneakily aside then it turns out he stuck his tongue in it, were we meant to think he was going to stick his old man in? As that's a bit much for teatime.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lgpmachine on December 01, 2018, 10:29:39 PM
The Plusnet guy is rapidly becoming my nemesis. It's now impossible to watch any non-BBC channels on Freeview without his intolerably chirpy presence invading your consciousness every twenty minutes.

There seems to be a bit of a trend for northern accents being seen as trustworthy or wholesome; I think the Morrison’s advert voiceovers are pitched along similar lines.

It’s probably what they were going for here (https://youtu.be/r0wDjWOnHcY) as well, but fuck knows who cleared that for transmission.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on December 02, 2018, 12:13:24 AM
Don’t know who that was but I’d swear he was in Game of Thrones at some point. Or maybe he just reminds me of Walder Frey.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on December 02, 2018, 01:27:21 AM
Oh boy how I have missed getting angry at television, can't wait to see what advert delight awaits me when I'm back in the UK for Christmas.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on December 02, 2018, 10:15:02 AM
There seems to be a bit of a trend for northern accents being seen as trustworthy or wholesome;

There was some market research done in the early nineties, publicised at the time, that asserted that people find northern accents 'more trustworthy'. This was shortly before Asda started doing their chummy suffocating Yorkshire eh-mums voiceovers.

Still, this now means that you can accurately identify which companies are the most desperate
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 02, 2018, 10:25:13 AM
And Scottish accents too, apparently.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on December 02, 2018, 02:34:11 PM
Cant remember the brand name, but a recent advert for sanitary towels that had revolutionary "side barriers", or "siberias" as the dyslexic cunt on the advert would say. It really, really, REALLY boiled my piss.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on December 02, 2018, 02:36:14 PM
I've said it before, but here am again as they are still on. Those fucking Trivento ads that bookend the adverts on Quest.

Words cannot fully express how much I want to choke all of those utter, utter cunts.

I have since boycotted the product.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: im barry bethel on December 02, 2018, 03:21:54 PM
There was some market research done in the early nineties, publicised at the time, that asserted that people find northern accents 'more trustworthy'.

And Scottish accents too, apparently.

Wasn't this partly the reason for all those customer service call centres locating in the north east and Scotland at the turn of the millennium, before they relocated further afield. If I remember the Birmingham and cockney accents were the least attractive/trustworthy

I've said it before, but here am again as they are still on. Those fucking Trivento ads that bookend the adverts on Quest.

They crop up on Discovery too, 10,000 feet and only one way down, be even quicker if I cut the cords on the fuckers parachute. That whole 90's white collar wine evening with not a single female present leads me to believe it's a gay bukkake gangbang
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on December 03, 2018, 02:30:02 PM
The Plusnet guy is confusing. The one which I had to watch 123 times to work out that all the characters were supposed to be him. I don't fucking CARE.

Speaking of Game of Thrones (I have never seen it) though - I have to admire how much effort someone's put into the Vanquis Credit Card adverts. The juxtaposition of the accents and attitudes with the costume and setting. Makes me giggle. Reminds me of the old Boddington's Adverts, in a way.

Not buying their product though. I already have all the credit card I want or need.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on December 03, 2018, 02:34:57 PM
Wasn't this partly the reason for all those customer service call centres locating in the north east and Scotland at the turn of the millennium, before they relocated further afield. If I remember the Birmingham and cockney accents were the least attractive/trustworthy

Could be... The NHS Transplant people who call you about your appointment if you're a blood donor are from Northern Ireland somewhere. Something about them - every one of them with whom I've dealt - makes them seem like the NICEST people on the planet - and I get the impression they all feel exactly the same about me.

I don't know how they're training them. I know none of their customers will likely be horrible, or making a complaint, but whenever I speak to them I come off the phone feeling at least 50% better about myself.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on December 03, 2018, 07:43:23 PM
Could be... The NHS Transplant people who call you about your appointment if you're a blood donor are from Northern Ireland somewhere. Something about them - every one of them with whom I've dealt - makes them seem like the NICEST people on the planet - and I get the impression they all feel exactly the same about me.

I don't know how they're training them. I know none of their customers will likely be horrible, or making a complaint, but whenever I speak to them I come off the phone feeling at least 50% better about myself.

It’ll all end, of course. When we have the post-Brexit Troubles 2.0, Are Brive Boys are back over there, and the Iron BoJo is at the helm, people from Norn Ireland will go back to regarding everyone with suspicion.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 03, 2018, 09:13:05 PM
I really don't like the amazon one with the girl growing up in a montage to Rod Stewart. Sentimental load of shite.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on December 04, 2018, 08:32:22 AM
Are two banks running the 'I can't find my card' knobhead ads?

They're both pish either way.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 04, 2018, 01:01:57 PM
Has there ever been a perfume ad that isn't a stereotypical perfume ad? And is it the only product that has never (intentionally anyway) used humour to sell it? Get Peter Kay and Chanel on the phone, we could be on to something original here.   
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on December 04, 2018, 01:08:08 PM
Has there ever been a perfume ad that isn't a stereotypical perfume ad? And is it the only product that has never (intentionally anyway) used humour to sell it? Get Peter Kay and Chanel on the phone, we could be on to something original here.

ERR DO TOILET???!!

*rapturous applause*
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 04, 2018, 01:24:31 PM
I really don't like the amazon one with the girl growing up in a montage to Rod Stewart. Sentimental load of shite.

The Dad looks like Garry Bushell too, which is unfortunate.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on December 04, 2018, 03:59:48 PM
Has there ever been a perfume ad that isn't a stereotypical perfume ad? And is it the only product that has never (intentionally anyway) used humour to sell it? Get Peter Kay and Chanel on the phone, we could be on to something original here.

The one with Johnny Depp MUST be intentionally funny - right? I mean, the product is only one letter away from being called 'Sausage' for crying out loud.

Most of the other ones remind me of that SNL spoof advert for the perfume Red Flag: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKk91x0Yg7Q (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKk91x0Yg7Q)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on December 05, 2018, 12:19:47 PM
Channel 4 sponsorship bumpers.

tonight i was entertaining fantasies of getting every single one of those bizarre objects - pot plants, chainsaws, traffic lights, etc etc - that ludicrously and seamlessly dive into the sides of that stupid red car, and shoving every single one of them up the bottoms of the creatives who thought of them

'ABSORB THESE, YOU FUCKERS !!!'

Yes.

AND THOSE DESK LAMPS !!!  GET EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE ANGLEPOISE FUCKERS WEDGED UP YOUR RECTUMS YOU BUNCH OF NAUSEATING CUNTS !!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuellar on December 05, 2018, 07:44:56 PM
The one with Johnny Depp MUST be intentionally funny - right? I mean, the product is only one letter away from being called 'Sausage' for crying out loud.

Most of the other ones remind me of that SNL spoof advert for the perfume Red Flag: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKk91x0Yg7Q (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKk91x0Yg7Q)

(https://i.redd.it/9lzq7gkooi301.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on December 06, 2018, 08:24:10 AM
What's the deal with this Lloyd's Bank ad with people sticking post it notes on their foreheads and talking about Mental Health. Are Lloyd's going to pump £50 million into national Mental Health services?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on December 06, 2018, 08:26:15 AM
No, if you’re mental you get a £5 record token when you open an account with them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 06, 2018, 12:57:31 PM
What's the deal with this Lloyd's Bank ad with people sticking post it notes on their foreheads and talking about Mental Health. Are Lloyd's going to pump £50 million into national Mental Health services?

It's just bandwagon jumping isn't it? Trying to create an association between themselves and a hot topic so every time mental health issues are mentioned elsewhere (which is increasingly frequent) they spring to mind as well, and positively. Can only be a matter of time before there's some hypocrisy embarrassment though, a customer or disgruntled employee accusing them of discrimination on mental health grounds or something.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on December 06, 2018, 10:56:39 PM
Has there ever been a perfume ad that isn't a stereotypical perfume ad? And is it the only product that has never (intentionally anyway) used humour to sell it? Get Peter Kay and Chanel on the phone, we could be on to something original here.

I saw a perfume ad where the gimmick is that they will print a personal message on the box or bottle whatever for you. The funny thing was they felt the need to say "And we won't judge you... Whatever the message." My mind went into fucking overdrive wondering what sort of creepy filth people are sending to each other on perfume bottles. "Spray this on your fanny please love"? Something even ruder than that? I need to know!

I have a massive feeling I have posted about this before. Fuck it. Been a member sixteen years. All my posts from now on are going to be recycled material.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: yesitsme on December 07, 2018, 11:05:27 AM
I saw a perfume ad where the gimmick is that they will print a personal message on the box or bottle whatever for you. The funny thing was they felt the need to say "And we won't judge you... Whatever the message." My mind went into fucking overdrive wondering what sort of creepy filth people are sending to each other on perfume bottles. "Spray this on your fanny please love"? Something even ruder than that? I need to know!

I have a massive feeling I have posted about this before. Fuck it. Been a member sixteen years. All my posts from now on are going to be recycled material.

LBG to sponsor Mental Health?

Don't see the black dog - see the black horse!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on December 20, 2018, 06:38:11 PM
This collection of Gareth Hunt Nescafé ad out-takes is a thing of beauty:

https://youtu.be/afxEIyAgjaY
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ornlu on December 24, 2018, 12:25:49 AM
The twee mother-daughter Boots ad with the Robbie cover. Where the biggest and most realistic gesture of maternal affection is to randomly and amateurishly sing a pop cover with a flash-mob choir. "She's me mum! ahhh"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on December 25, 2018, 04:32:37 PM
The one with Johnny Depp MUST be intentionally funny - right? I mean, the product is only one letter away from being called 'Sausage' for crying out loud.
I got some as a prezzie a few months ago and it's honestly really nice,. The trouble is everyone else seems to wear it too. It's a Sauvage fest out there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on January 03, 2019, 03:29:03 PM
Anyone notice the advert for a savings account brought to you by those good folks at Goldman Sachs?

"Marcus..."

(It turns out Marcus was the given name of one of the eponymous founders of the architects and yet somehow also major beneficiaries of the Global Economic Crisis well known investment bank)

I'm currently reading The Big Short, so the fact that a financial institution like this is touting for business from the little people on their televisions is ringing a few quite sinister bells.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on January 03, 2019, 03:32:39 PM
Elton "Fucking" John? And didn't John Lewis use Your Song (albeit warbled by Ellie Goulding) back in 2010?

HARD BREXIT NOW.

I know it's fucking January, but I heard someone on Radio 4 a few weeks ago pointing out the synergy between Elton Fucking John and John Fucking Lewis. Apparently they're both venerable, beloved British institutions, and they're equally keen on a good Furnishing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on January 03, 2019, 05:08:46 PM
And he’s got lots of unidentified (thanks to that superinjunction) Partners?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Konki on January 06, 2019, 01:54:31 PM
Is the new We Buy Any Car advert insinuating Phillip Schofield is fucking that puppy? Because that's how it appears to me.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on January 08, 2019, 07:17:41 AM
That electric toothbrush advert that says it's 'inspired by dentists.' Really? Mine's inspired by the Velvet Underground and George Orwell actually.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 08, 2019, 09:18:28 AM
That electric toothbrush advert that says it's 'inspired by dentists.' Really? Mine's inspired by the Velvet Underground and George Orwell actually.

I've ranted about the sheer number of toothpaste/brush adverts that seem to be on before, but the stupidest is the one with the dimwit who says, with a shocked laugh ''I didn't even know Oral B made a toothpaste!!'' as if it's the most extraordinary concept imaginable that a toothbrush company would go out on a wild limb and launch a toothpaste range.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on January 08, 2019, 10:35:37 AM
I absolutely despise the Oral B advert. It seems to be aimed at people who are massively impressed by obvious statements - surely a group that doesn't actually exist?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on January 10, 2019, 02:38:10 PM
Watching the telly yesterday, the latest Comparethemarket advert made me wonder if the original premise - that the meerkats were complaining about people endlessly confusing the site comparethemarket.com with their comparethemeerkat.com had been forgotten.

"The adverts have been going on for so long," I thought, "there must be people who don't know, or have never known and have never wondered, what the connection between meerkats and insurance is. To them, it's just 'random', or perhaps a 'law of the universe'."

Anyway, according to wikipedia, the 10th anniversary of the first meerkat insurance advert was last weekend. Ten years.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on January 10, 2019, 03:24:52 PM
Anyway, according to wikipedia, the 10th anniversary of the first meerkat insurance advert was last weekend. Ten years.

National treasures
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on January 10, 2019, 03:45:56 PM
That electric toothbrush advert that says it's 'inspired by dentists.' Really? Mine's inspired by the Velvet Underground and George Orwell actually.

White Light, White Teeth

Sister Ray-diant Smile

Brush brush brush




I haven't done any of these worthwhile puns for Orwell
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: fatguyranting on January 10, 2019, 03:46:05 PM
There was a new advert shilling overpriced sex toys with a voice over by the Guardian's Grace Dent on the other night. It was shit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on January 12, 2019, 02:48:23 PM
White Light, White Teeth

Sister Ray-diant Smile

Brush brush brush

Lady Godiva's Extraction
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Golden E. Pump on January 12, 2019, 04:37:22 PM
Venus in Gums?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on January 13, 2019, 09:41:42 AM
John S Cale And Polish.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ornlu on January 13, 2019, 09:23:21 PM
Fuck, now we've got a completely unnecessary, resolutely epic and stirring Paloma Faith cover of Go Your Own Way for something or other. We had a brass band interpretation for Sainsbury's or something all throughout Christmas didn't we? There have to be abiding rules for this sort of thing, don't there?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on January 13, 2019, 09:43:36 PM
Anyway, according to wikipedia, the 10th anniversary of the first meerkat insurance advert was last weekend. Ten years.

How fitting that they've been a constant presence during the worst decade in the history of humanity.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on January 14, 2019, 08:53:34 AM
Amazing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0LSkX46dS4

You'd SWEAR that wasn't real. SWEAR IT!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on January 14, 2019, 09:27:10 AM
I'll Be Your (little) Mirror (on a stick)


Sorry, this died and Cuntbeaks won anyway.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 14, 2019, 09:29:28 AM
Fuck, now we've got a completely unnecessary, resolutely epic and stirring Paloma Faith cover of Go Your Own Way for something or other. We had a brass band interpretation for Sainsbury's or something all throughout Christmas didn't we? There have to be abiding rules for this sort of thing, don't there?

To add to her dreadful version of Make Your Own Kind Of Music from a previous ad. Does she specialise in ironic cover versions or something?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on January 14, 2019, 10:27:29 AM
I haven't done any of these worthwhile puns for Orwell

Gumming Up for Air
Keep the Apicoectomy Flying
A Clergyman's Tartar

I think those are the main ones.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on January 17, 2019, 08:48:50 PM
Just watching Sky Arts and the adverts are on and it struck me: I have not seen an advert I like since I was about 8 years old.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 20, 2019, 03:30:59 PM
Oh god, Gumtree have nicked Nationwide's performance poetry shtick, only even more earnest, if you can believe that was possible.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 20, 2019, 10:32:52 PM
All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on January 21, 2019, 04:59:41 PM
All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.

https://twitter.com/HeresToBotOnes (https://twitter.com/HeresToBotOnes)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on January 21, 2019, 05:02:31 PM
Oh god, Gumtree have nicked Nationwide's performance poetry shtick, only even more earnest, if you can believe that was possible.

Nationwide now have three old dears chatting among themselves about having A Man Friend for some reason, in a fairly blatant homage to the Maltesers advert where two or three young people sit around chatting about sexual encounters.

I was confused by the Nationwide old dears though, wondering if what they were saying was supposed to rhyme or not.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on January 21, 2019, 07:21:52 PM
All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.
God, yes. "...for the workers, and the shirkers, those that thrive and those that strive (cut to 17 year old throwing away L plates) and those that drive. The house owners and the late night moaners. We're here for you when you win and when you lose, and when you choose the wrong horse, we're still here for you, of course."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 21, 2019, 09:29:54 PM
This is for the fucktards, the 'ey up loves', the banterbros, the chinbeards, the no johnnies love i don't like the feel, the 3am vommers, the tosspots, the full kit wankers, here's to you Mister Knocked Her Up At 17, the four lagers please love, the Gary of London Town, raise a glass for the closet racists, the belm impressionista, the cheeky Nandos, the duvet day, the McIntyre DVD of the soul, the meat and two veg, the chug forfeiteers, the hope it goes away, England's Lion!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on January 21, 2019, 10:12:23 PM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on January 21, 2019, 10:53:36 PM
Nine bloody months ago, and it's still running.

The first one (with breathy girly Praise You cover music) made a sort of thematic sense: your bank (personified by a black horse) will be there for you when you need it (yeah, right). But now what do we have? Children being roused from their beds and force-marched to an isolated beach where lots of horses will appear magically and pick you (or not? Were there enough horses to go round? Do some children not get accepted?) for... what? A lifetime of banking services? Do all the horses represent Lloyd’s, or are more than one bank available and it’s a lottery which one you get?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 21, 2019, 11:44:22 PM
All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.

Sort of, but it involves the actual 'poet' (or person reciting it anyway) in some naturalistic setting, and sounds like normal speech only with a few rhymes or bits with a sort of rhythm awkwardly shoehorned in.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 22, 2019, 03:29:13 PM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.

Yes it's like someone in their 40s from Marketing focused on the song title and no other aspect of it whatsoever.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on January 25, 2019, 02:10:47 PM
There's something very subtly annoying about the woman in this advert and I can't put my finger on what it is

https://youtu.be/RjPbc9vH8PY
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 25, 2019, 04:06:49 PM
There's something very subtly annoying about the woman in this advert and I can't put my finger on what it is

https://youtu.be/RjPbc9vH8PY

As I ranted above, it's partly that she appears astonished that a toothbrush brand has made the radical leap of making a toothpaste.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on January 25, 2019, 04:08:40 PM
As I ranted above, it's partly that she appears astonished that a toothbrush brand has made the radical leap of making a toothpaste.

With me it's her stupid face.

Funny, I finally decide to mention it and you already have! Great minds
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on January 25, 2019, 04:15:29 PM
That electric toothbrush advert that says it's 'inspired by dentists.' Really? Mine's inspired by the Velvet Underground and George Orwell actually.

There's that quite obviously dubbed one as well where an white-toothed American (you can tell by the teeth) woman is looking in the mirror.

'have i got yellow teeth?'
her mate: 'yes!'
both: 'HAHAHAAHA'
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 25, 2019, 07:45:19 PM
With me it's her stupid face.

She does actually remind me of a girl from the year above me in primary school who tried to pinch my best friend by being horrible to me so I hope someone swaps her oh-so-shocking toothpaste for araldite.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on January 25, 2019, 07:59:57 PM
With me it's her stupid face.

Funny, I finally decide to mention it and you already have! Great minds
For me it's the way she's so pleased with everything she's doing. Not the actual woman's fault, it's the way ads are put together. Pick up a bell pepper and grin at it like it's going to save the world.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 25, 2019, 08:33:50 PM
For me it's the way she's so pleased with everything she's doing. Not the actual woman's fault, it's the way ads are put together. Pick up a bell pepper and grin at it like it's going to save the world.

Yes there is that too, the smug glance in the mirror after she says "I know how to keep my body healthy." You ain't all that love.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on January 26, 2019, 12:06:08 AM
I don't know why it makes me remember this Slim Fast classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pBHcfUo0Gw

Not annoying in the same way, just so twee.

Still a bit in love with her, too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: im barry bethel on January 26, 2019, 07:50:59 AM
Quote
funky
monkey
give me a chocolate bar that's chunky

Excellent work, go to the headmistress for your star of the week certificate
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on January 27, 2019, 09:21:26 PM
As I ranted above, it's partly that she appears astonished that a toothbrush brand has made the radical leap of making a toothpaste.

It’s just the way she says it. And then I remembered what it reminds me of.

(http://24.media.tumblr.com/7907e65349997dfa1c9f0978edd20eb9/tumblr_mi5u5knZp11rj1d5oo1_500.gif)

(or rather, they’re reacting to and parodying what it reminds me of. But it’s not so easily GISed)

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2pf4nWrGY1r9zaago1_250.gif)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 30, 2019, 11:48:31 AM
Ffs I just saw a car advert with shiny happy people driving the car through beautiful scenery to the beach and to go hiking etc. with a voiceover saying things like "I wish I was in a meeting" and "I wish I was assembling flatpack furniture" and so on, and I thought 'surely they aren't doing that ancient "said no one ever" thing', but of course they bloody were. I know it's probably aimed at the kind of people who can actually afford the car, ie middle aged people who wear "I have too many guitars. Said no one ever." Tshirts but come oooooonnnnnnnnn.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on January 30, 2019, 02:19:03 PM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.

I find it helps to imagine that advert ending with Noel Edmonds in an Apache attack helicopter looming over them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on January 30, 2019, 02:29:09 PM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.
Wow, the artist is really happy about that cover and is promoting it all over the place. If you've done a standard breathy cover that goes straight to BANK ADVERTS you should feel shame.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on January 30, 2019, 06:06:55 PM
I don't know why it makes me remember this Slim Fast classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pBHcfUo0Gw

Not annoying in the same way, just so twee.

Still a bit in love with her, too.

Reminds me of the first episode of "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on January 30, 2019, 08:09:35 PM
Haha, brilliant.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on February 05, 2019, 01:08:39 PM
Whilst not wanting to turn this thread into 'People off the adverts I fancy (a bit)', I did want to mention the recent advert for Arial 'Pod' detergent which runs under the slogan 'Do You Pod?'

Specifically the woman pictured who Does Not Pod - she is pouring liquid detergent into one of those tedious little plastic balls you can never find when you need one - and looks at the camera with a 'What? YOU fuck off' frown which I have to say I find enchanting.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on February 05, 2019, 03:53:37 PM
I pod. I have to take the fucking thing and put it in either a sock or a SPECIAL BAG I KEEP JUST FOR THE POD so stop its wrapper from getting trapped in the rubber door seal and gumming it all up. Fuck this propaganda.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on February 05, 2019, 04:42:25 PM
There's that quite obviously dubbed one as well where an white-toothed American (you can tell by the teeth) woman is looking in the mirror.

'have i got yellow teeth?'
her mate: 'yes!'
both: 'HAHAHAAHA'

The fact that they didn't cast Shane McGowan in a wig for that is criminal.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: boki on February 07, 2019, 03:45:53 PM
I kinda feel grubby bigging them up, but Barclaycard done good with their ad that's currently all over YouTube with the woo woo hippy bollockses and their crystals.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on February 08, 2019, 06:21:34 PM
That Paddy Power advert with Giggs' brother.
Shitting crikey!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on February 09, 2019, 12:04:09 AM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.

#You're not alone
#We've dumped some horses on your beach

(I can't make these lyrics go away.)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: garnish on February 09, 2019, 12:04:42 AM
That Paddy Power advert with Giggs' brother.
Shitting crikey!

Directly references his brother having an affair with his wife.  Remarkable.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on February 10, 2019, 01:24:19 PM
It doesn’t seem to be on YouTube yet, but i feel obliged to say I did LOL at the punchline to the new Crunchy Nut Cornflakes ad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on February 16, 2019, 01:12:04 PM
The latest Absolut vodka and claims that they've gathered up hateful signs and extracted ink from them to be used in an advert to sell vodka
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on February 19, 2019, 07:52:18 PM
What is it with that weird crouching dance with jazz hands that everyone does in all the Tui adverts? Is it some trademarked dance the “entertainments team” (cunts one and all) make everyone do if you go on a Tui holiday? Because they can get in grave.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on February 20, 2019, 11:04:53 AM
That holiday advert where the family is doing a rap "the czars of spas and swim up bars/the big kahunas of the beach" annoys me not just cause it's a catchy music bit in an advert but because I can't understand what they say at the very end where it's abruptly cut off. "Shout A to the I these hos are hella bibby"

"Shout A to the I these halls are hella busy"

"Shout A to the I these halls are hella bibby"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on February 20, 2019, 04:12:07 PM
Dunno about the second bit but I thought it said "these hoes" last time I heard it. I'm sticking to it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on February 20, 2019, 07:14:13 PM
What is it with that weird crouching dance with jazz hands that everyone does in all the Tui adverts? Is it some trademarked dance the “entertainments team” (cunts one and all) make everyone do if you go on a Tui holiday? Because they can get in grave.

The first one with the sullen teenager eventually joining her embarassing Mother in doing that dance was even weirder because there wasn't a precedent, so it just looked like they might put drugs in the water wherever they were.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on February 20, 2019, 08:37:11 PM
That holiday advert where the family is doing a rap "the czars of spas and swim up bars/the big kahunas of the beach" annoys me not just cause it's a catchy music bit in an advert but because I can't understand what they say at the very end where it's abruptly cut off. "Shout A to the I these hos are hella bibby"

"Shout A to the I these halls are hella busy"

"Shout A to the I these halls are hella bibby"

It's "these hols are hella good".

God I hate that fucking advert.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on February 20, 2019, 09:41:48 PM
The first one with the sullen teenager eventually joining her embarassing Mother in doing that dance was even weirder because there wasn't a precedent, so it just looked like they might put drugs in the water wherever they were.

I think that was the first of this series of adverts, and I did think it was strange, but assumed it was just their thing, some mother-daughter in-joke (pertaining to the awful dad-dancing the abusive husband/father did, before they murdered him, buried him under the patio then went on holiday). But no, since then there's been a vacationing couple advert, and a whole family advert, and they're all doing it.

... you don't suppose it's some "clever" reference to the dancing crabs in Tui's previous advert, the awful "Ain't Nobody" one, do you?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on February 20, 2019, 10:52:44 PM

... you don't suppose it's some "clever" reference to the dancing crabs in Tui's previous advert, the awful "Ain't Nobody" one, do you?

Oh gawd probably. They love all that don't they, "brand recognition."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on February 21, 2019, 06:23:31 PM
that cancer advert where the doctor pauses for about 10 seconds before delivering the [good] news - like he's on Strictly or something.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on February 21, 2019, 07:08:09 PM
Either that or he's fighting an urge, that's been nagging at him for a while, to say to one of his patients when delivering bad news: "... but, I just got a 99p cheeseburger from McDonalds!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on February 21, 2019, 10:34:07 PM
Can someone compile a list of all the adverts made in the last few years that feature Busby Berkeley-style group choreography / dance troupes? Because I suspect there to be one fucking million of them

"Look amazed everyone, it's more than one person dancing!". Like it's fucking 3-2-1 or something
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on February 21, 2019, 11:10:57 PM
McCain’s did one... Compare The Market (Meerkat Movies)... Do all the Gio Comparios count?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on February 22, 2019, 12:57:30 AM
Using it just at the moment there's Tossbag Home Insurance, and Shitbag Equity Release
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on February 22, 2019, 11:11:56 AM
Also Cockbag Van Hire
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on February 22, 2019, 03:16:09 PM
Just Eat did one too, ironically (because takeaway makes you fat and therefore unable to dance, you see.)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on February 23, 2019, 11:20:22 PM
I have just seen an advert that basically said, "Can you concentrate for hours on a PlayStation? Then join the army, we need people who can concentrate."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on February 24, 2019, 08:16:54 PM
      (https://snag.gy/fgVcI1.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on February 25, 2019, 09:10:52 AM
Compare The Market (Meerkat Movies) Ballbag Price Comparison

Also has a dance routine happening in the middle of a warzone gun-battle, which (although meant to be in a movie) seems in spectacularly poor taste, the sort of idea a sociopath would come up with.

That other advert for fuck-cares-what with the guy's house full of soldiers also has a weird normalised comfortable attitude to being in proximity to war.


Join the army
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: im barry bethel on February 25, 2019, 09:49:06 AM
Either that or he's fighting an urge, that's been nagging at him for a while, to say to one of his patients when delivering bad news: "... but, I just got a 99p cheeseburger from McDonalds!"

This is exactly the reason I gave up my oncologist studies, just couldn't trust myself
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 06, 2019, 02:38:13 PM
This might belong more in the ''F**k my hat...'' thread, but according to their new advert it turns out we've been saying Jameson's all wrong. Well you have if you've been saying it 'Jameson', you know, like it's actually spelled, unless you're obviously a lot cleverer than me (and I suspect a lot of others too) and already knew it's actually apparently pronounced 'Jam-eh-son'. There's other issues with the ad too, like the way it sets the scene as happening in 2017 as if that was 50 years ago, but it's the pronounciation that's the weirdest. Jam-eh-son. Jam. Eh. Son.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on March 06, 2019, 03:19:30 PM
I thought it was like Derek Jameson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0keGXWbeNg). 'Jay-meh-sun' / 'Jay-mih-sun'

You clearly haven't spent enough time in your life involved in verbal discussion of Derek Jameson ;)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 06, 2019, 04:21:26 PM
Yeah, sorry - I've always pronounced the name Jameson with three syllables. Probably due to early exposure to Derek 'Do They Mean Me?' Jameson on the telly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 06, 2019, 04:54:47 PM
I thought it was like Derek Jameson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0keGXWbeNg). 'Jay-meh-sun' / 'Jay-mih-sun'

You clearly haven't spent enough time in your life involved in verbal discussion of Derek Jameson ;)

No I'd say it like you would too, with the first syllable being 'jay', but on the ad it's 'Jam', as if the name 'James' should actually be pronounced 'Jam-ez'.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 06, 2019, 04:55:42 PM
Yeah, sorry - I've always pronounced the name Jameson with three syllables. Probably due to early exposure to Derek 'Do They Mean Me?' Jameson on the telly.

It's still 3 syllables how I thought it was, although a 2 syllabled 'Jayme-son' is also reasonable, but on the ad it's said 'jam-eh-son'.

Edit; it's at about 0:17
 https://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/jameson-the-case-unusual-case-tbwa-dublin/1492575 (https://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/jameson-the-case-unusual-case-tbwa-dublin/1492575)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 06, 2019, 05:23:24 PM
Right. Well, that's some fucked up shit right there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 06, 2019, 05:33:38 PM
I know right? And they can't even use the excuse that the ad is set in South Africa as the rest of the voiceover doesn't have an SA/Afrikaans accent. I think it's just WRONG.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on March 07, 2019, 03:39:45 AM
They pronounce it jem-eh-son in this advert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di16EanY_wQ) from last year. I think they're deliberately fucking with us.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on March 07, 2019, 09:42:47 AM
From now on I'm going to pronounce it 'cuntjuice' when I talk about it, WHICH IS NEVER
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: HodgerMccodger on March 09, 2019, 05:33:00 PM
As I ranted above, it's partly that she appears astonished that a toothbrush brand has made the radical leap of making a toothpaste.

I'd interpreted it as her laughing at herself for how out of touch she was regarding developments at Oral B. I.e I was oblivious to the fact that Oral B were even making toothpaste, let alone how bloody good it is- how could I be so out the loop?

It struck an odd chord with me because I don't think anyone could be reasonably expected to keep up to date with Oral B's products. The fact she was laughing about it made me wonder, with some discomfort, what other insipid things she'd be prepared to laugh about. It made me think being in a relationship with her must be a soul crushingly lonley experience.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 11, 2019, 11:07:35 AM
Call me a massive softie... but there was an advert on telly on Saturday where a little girl is playing football, and giving a running commentary to her Dad.

I'd had a couple of drinks, I admit, but the reveal 'got me in the feels' (do they say that?) like someone had stabbed me there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 13, 2019, 06:36:13 PM
Have those very strange ads for Gerberit bog/bidet combi things been mentioned yet? Are they trying to be funny intentionally?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on March 14, 2019, 07:35:32 PM
Two adverts are making my blood boil at the moment. The BA advert with all the National Treasure's talking about our green and pleasant land. It's almost as shameless as the Carling advert boasting British is best. Then there's the Plusnet advert with the piss weak Peter Kay impressionist doing a cloying cover of Cyndy Lauper's 'Time after Time'. How did these ideas ever see the light of day?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 15, 2019, 09:32:50 AM
Then there's the Plusnet advert with the piss weak Peter Kay impressionist doing a cloying cover of Cyndy Lauper's 'Time after Time'. How did these ideas ever see the light of day?

Having a complete Mandela moment now as I was so sure that series of ads was for Talktalk. I even had second thoughts before signing up with them recently because I hate them so much. Sorry Talktalk.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: beanheadmcginty on March 15, 2019, 06:47:38 PM
I agree about that BA advert. It's cringeingly Brexit. I have to mute it when it comes on. I bet Rees-Mogg has had a big old wank over it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: HodgerMccodger on March 15, 2019, 08:29:12 PM
The following Aldi advert has to be the most Brexit advert of all

https://www.bestadsontv.com/ad/102402/ALDI-Mustard (https://www.bestadsontv.com/ad/102402/ALDI-Mustard)

You expect the cunt in the flat cap to say "Brexit means brexit" at the end
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: GMTV on March 16, 2019, 01:41:49 PM
Guinness clear...

Well you were the fucking bellends that upped the ante with the vaguely arty reverential shite. Don't come back with an extremely basic, horribly dated parody of what you've been doing for years.

Heineken kept it simple with nico rosberg dicking about being some kind of millionaire playboy. Canny drink the night lads got this amazing sports car to drive tonight. I'll have a disgusting alcohol free Heineken though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: GMTV on March 16, 2019, 01:48:26 PM
This might belong more in the ''F**k my hat...'' thread, but according to their new advert it turns out we've been saying Jameson's all wrong. Well you have if you've been saying it 'Jameson', you know, like it's actually spelled, unless you're obviously a lot cleverer than me (and I suspect a lot of others too) and already knew it's actually apparently pronounced 'Jam-eh-son'. There's other issues with the ad too, like the way it sets the scene as happening in 2017 as if that was 50 years ago, but it's the pronounciation that's the weirdest. Jam-eh-son. Jam. Eh. Son.

Love the bit at the end of the advert when the two lads look at each other... OF COURSE they only took The Jamason its fucking amazing. They'll have tanked the lot within a week the dirty scoundrels.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on March 17, 2019, 08:38:17 PM
In that Matt Berry-narrated Money Supermarket one I assume they were like, "Matt, just talk like you do in Toast of London for thirty seconds."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on March 19, 2019, 08:07:14 PM
Harry Redknapp shilling for GoDaddy in an ad where he sets up a company called Harry's Jam Roly Polys.

The ad ends with him putting his face in his freshly baked roly polys and going "'Triffic!"

This is Harry Redknapp, who famously has no sense of taste or smell.

Which means what he's referring to as "'Triffic!" is the sensation of heat hitting his face.

I'll have twelve!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ornlu on March 20, 2019, 10:15:22 AM
I'm sure the phenomenon's already been mentioned but the Plusnet/Peter Kay ad reminds me of that dreaded fucking formula:

Loud Blaring Tune
moment of quiet/mutedness so you look up and see if it's changed
NOPE BACK AGAIN (for Longer This Time)

Most egregiously used in that awful Maoam advert with the gawky lad dancing round a school assembly hall. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I59XOttwZLg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I59XOttwZLg))

I do, however, quite like C4's ginger dopey-looking Dolce Gusto lady.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on March 20, 2019, 11:01:23 AM
How many times foes that Samsung Galaxy S10  advert have to be on with that fucking song that goes woop all day and I never get tayad woop all day and I never give up I'm so sick of that fucking song
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on March 20, 2019, 07:23:49 PM
Most egregiously used in that awful Maoam advert with the gawky lad dancing round a school assembly hall. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I59XOttwZLg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I59XOttwZLg))

At least it's for a sweet so you can understand why the advert is aimed at kids. It's a shame that every advert is aimed at kids.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on March 22, 2019, 09:23:07 PM
So, the ad - for BT I think? - where a man comes home to find his house overrun with cowboys, GIs and fantasy folk? I'm puzzled as to the dynamic here - is it a shared house, or a family home? Because his ability to banish everyone upstairs to bathrooms and bedrooms suggests the latter, however it's noticeable that at no point does he acknowledge the other occupants, which could imply the former.

And there's another thing. There are, I think, two other occupants, a possibly-teenage boy and a woman of indeterminate age. The former is presumably playing some WW2 FPS game; the latter, watching a fantasy TV show. So where did the cowboys come from? Who is playing Red Dead Redemption, or watching Westworld? Is it the shadowy figure seen distributing the WiFi extenders? Or is it the protagonist - as their sharing a sofa and cup of tea with him at the end might confirm - but if it is, why were the cowboys already present when he got home?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 23, 2019, 08:35:48 AM
The cowboys are merely potential cowboys, waiting, as it were, in the wings.
 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on March 23, 2019, 11:51:42 AM
How many times foes that Samsung Galaxy S10  advert have to be on with that fucking song that goes woop all day and I never get tayad woop all day and I never give up I'm so sick of that fucking song

They are really fucking pushing that phone. I'm not paying any more attention than I usually do to adverts, but the S10 adverts/posters have been everywhere the last couple of weeks.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on March 23, 2019, 12:04:15 PM
Also the McDonald's adverts have really been getting on my piss lately. First you had that Big Mac anniversary ad, showing how vital a part the Big Mac has been in all of our lives through the last few generations. Then that ballache one that tried to pretend the whole nation were arguing about whether it's still a Big Mac if it has bacon. Now their cunt Monopoly game is back and there's a new advert where everyone's going round twitching their finger going 'peely peely!' - because when you peel the sticker off you do that with your finger!!!!!! And our hero doesn't know about it so he's all left out.

It just rubs me up the wrong way seeing a company like that, who've become so synonymous with a kind of American-gone-global, faceless, greedy corporation, trying to pretend like they're some key part of ordinary life. Fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: boki on March 23, 2019, 03:22:46 PM
I kinda feel grubby bigging them up, but Barclaycard done good with their ad that's currently all over YouTube with the woo woo hippy bollockses and their crystals.

FUCKING HELL, THEY'RE ACTUALLY REAL (https://www.adweek.com/creativity/strangest-bank-testimonial-ever-the-very-real-crystal-barn-talks-chakras-and-card-readers/).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bennett Brauer on March 23, 2019, 11:36:48 PM
FUCKING HELL, THEY'RE ACTUALLY REAL (https://www.adweek.com/creativity/strangest-bank-testimonial-ever-the-very-real-crystal-barn-talks-chakras-and-card-readers/).

So weird when women lean their head 45° for photos, presumably thinking it makes them look more attractive. It actually makes them look nuts.

(https://i.imgur.com/T4AJzxk.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on March 23, 2019, 11:40:53 PM
So weird when women lean their head 45° for photos, presumably thinking it makes them look more attractive. It actually makes them look nuts.

(https://i.imgur.com/T4AJzxk.jpg)

It looks like she desperately needs a chiropractor.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: billyandthecloneasaurus on March 24, 2019, 10:20:26 PM
For the first time (as far as i can remember), I've actually been quite enjoying some adverts.  The gambleaware adverts are pretty funny I reckon.  The one where the kebab shop lad gets teleported to the Panamanian studio where they berate him for randomly putting a bet on based on the names of the teams got a good lol when I first saw it, and resonated with my gambling habit at university.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 26, 2019, 11:42:48 AM
Also the McDonald's adverts have really been getting on my piss lately. First you had that Big Mac anniversary ad, showing how vital a part the Big Mac has been in all of our lives through the last few generations. Then that ballache one that tried to pretend the whole nation were arguing about whether it's still a Big Mac if it has bacon. Now their cunt Monopoly game is back and there's a new advert where everyone's going round twitching their finger going 'peely peely!' - because when you peel the sticker off you do that with your finger!!!!!! And our hero doesn't know about it so he's all left out.

It just rubs me up the wrong way seeing a company like that, who've become so synonymous with a kind of American-gone-global, faceless, greedy corporation, trying to pretend like they're some key part of ordinary life. Fuck off.

I'd love to know if the same team behind the Peely Peely thing are the same as the ones behind Dilly Dilly. I'd also love to know how they fucking sleep at night.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 26, 2019, 11:46:07 AM

(https://i.imgur.com/T4AJzxk.jpg)

She looks like she's sort of trying to do an impression of the crystal tower thing next to her, tilting to the right etc.

Edit: Actually this is annoying me now, they've clearly gone for some level of symmetry in that picture as the two people are standing by their respective crystal towers then the ones in front are sort of arranged in a pattern dictated by size, but then over to their right (our left) there's two very similar shorter towers, one of which should really be on the other side. Also had a bit more effort gone in the two orange and one purple flat crystals also on that side could have been arranged in the foreground so the whole thing looked better. Did they run out of time to take the photo or something?

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 26, 2019, 11:52:28 AM
Harry Redknapp shilling for GoDaddy in an ad where he sets up a company called Harry's Jam Roly Polys.

The ad ends with him putting his face in his freshly baked roly polys and going "'Triffic!"

This is Harry Redknapp, who famously has no sense of taste or smell.

Which means what he's referring to as "'Triffic!" is the sensation of heat hitting his face.

I'll have twelve!

Harry Redknapp can also neither read nor write. His actual dog is supposed to have handled his tax affairs, or something (I vaguely remember some court case where this was his defence).

Replying because I saw an ad break yesterday where Harry 'Fucking' Redknapp appeared in TWO adverts - one for GoDaddy, and the other for betting, where he appears in someone's Smart Speaker giving tips. There's a shit joke where he makes a crack about smart young pundits in fancy suits, and off screen someone says "Oi!" and he says "Not you son!" because his son is famous foopballer Jamie Redknapp (who briefly stole a living for Southampton FC while his Dad was 'managing').

I fucking hate Harry Redknapp. https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2019/mar/23/harry-redknapp-is-playing-a-familiar-tune-to-disown-birminghams-blues (https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2019/mar/23/harry-redknapp-is-playing-a-familiar-tune-to-disown-birminghams-blues)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 26, 2019, 11:53:20 AM
They are really fucking pushing that phone. I'm not paying any more attention than I usually do to adverts, but the S10 adverts/posters have been everywhere the last couple of weeks.

There's one on a bus stop near me with a QR code thing attached to the metal edge of the poster holder. Does anyone really scan those things?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Rizla on March 26, 2019, 12:01:15 PM
I'm sure the old wifie in the sun life insurance ad used to say "Oh yes, I've seen the adverts on telly, with Parky" but now she just says "yes I've seen the adverts on telly." What can have happened, that they dare not speak his (nick)name?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on March 26, 2019, 12:22:17 PM
Probably contractual. Anyway, Mumble Platitudes advertises teabags now instead of bodybags.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on March 27, 2019, 10:59:10 AM
I'm sure the old wifie in the sun life insurance ad used to say "Oh yes, I've seen the adverts on telly, with Parky" but now she just says "yes I've seen the adverts on telly." What can have happened, that they dare not speak his (nick)name?

Maybe they realised "av seen the ads wi parkie" is extremely grating to hear 4 times in every single ad break
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on March 27, 2019, 11:52:13 AM
Noticing a trend for pop stars shilling economy cars. Well, Paloma Faith and Shaggy and Sting. Doesn't work.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on March 27, 2019, 11:52:55 AM
Now their cunt Monopoly game is back and there's a new advert where everyone's going round twitching their finger going 'peely peely!'

Somewhere in the last 15 years was an advert that had a very similar voice saying 'Piri piri', [tag]I CAN NOT REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS FOR[/tag] but when I overhear that McDonalds ad I'm reminded of it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 27, 2019, 12:04:03 PM
Noticing a trend for pop stars shilling economy cars. Well, Paloma Faith and Shaggy and Sting. Doesn't work.

PF was called out (that's right, called out) by someone on Jason Manford's radio programme about this. The gist was that the listener had seen her and JM on something  a few years ago where she had a go at him for being into cars or driving a particular car or something and mounted her high horse about how bad cars were for the environment and he should re-examine his lifestyle.

It pleased me. Just like reading a Nevermind the Buzzcocks review where they asked of her appearance sitting next to Noel Fielding: "imagine the amount of self-satisfaction concentrated in that tiny area".

This is just me having a go at Paloma Faith now. I have nothing else to add.

[Fake Edit - yes I do. Will be in the next post]
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 27, 2019, 12:07:11 PM
I don't have the strength to go back over the last 17 pages to check but has anyone else noticed that the Freeview ad which mashes up lots of stars from various programmes CGId into a montage of them on a highway is the David Brent team-building seminar day song?

You must have done. I think that's one of the funniest bits of The Office - the whole Tim, Gareth, David interaction but pisses me off that Gervais will be really pleased with it being used.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 27, 2019, 12:18:41 PM
Sad to say, but Free Love on the Free Love Highway is actually quite a good song. That is to say, it's a close enough pastiche of something you can imagine one of the Eagles might have recorded after the Eagles split up... the comedy of it is knowing a tubby paper salesman from Reading is the singer, rather than any actual jokes in the lyrics.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 27, 2019, 12:28:40 PM
Sad to say, but Free Love on the Free Love Highway is actually quite a good song. That is to say, it's a close enough pastiche of something you can imagine one of the Eagles might have recorded after the Eagles split up... the comedy of it is knowing a tubby paper salesman from Reading is the singer, rather than any actual jokes in the lyrics.

Yes exactly - I have to say it took me several listens of the ad to be confident that it wasn't an Eagles-type thing that I was just misidentifying. Think that's where my annoyance comes from .

Still, it was from when I liked Gervais  so I will look at it in that context.

Currently chuckling to myself at the "none of them was you... //What, you? // No. He's looking at a photograph. // Of you? " bit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buzby on March 27, 2019, 01:29:26 PM
I'd love to know if the same team behind the Peely Peely thing are the same as the ones behind Dilly Dilly. I'd also love to know how they fucking sleep at night.
Dilly Dilly was by Wieden & Kennedy for Bud Light. It had been a massive success in the US (enough to rival the 'Wazzup' campaign) but fell flat on it's arse when they tried it over here.
Peely Peely is by Leo Burnett London.
They are advertising 'creatives' so they have no conscience whatsover and sleep like logs.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 27, 2019, 01:36:01 PM
Sad to say, but Free Love on the Free Love Highway is actually quite a good song. That is to say, it's a close enough pastiche of something you can imagine one of the Eagles might have recorded after the Eagles split up... the comedy of it is knowing a tubby paper salesman from Reading is the singer, rather than any actual jokes in the lyrics.

Supplementary - you're right about the lyrics and it's the ambiguity of the line that's funny not the line and the rest of the comedy is external it. That's where the Gyspy song in Life on the Road falls down massively - there's a deliberately comic exchange in it about her being a hooker (prostitute Gervais, you're not in LA now) and him being confused and indignant which wouldn't be in a straight song.

Like when you get narrative bits in prose that are along the lines "then we went to the pub. Er, sorry to church" - if you'd made a mistake you'd cross it out before sending it to the publisher.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 27, 2019, 02:59:56 PM
Obviously it's not good good: It's risible. But it's credible, and it's delivered straight.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: McFlymo on March 27, 2019, 08:33:36 PM
Yes exactly - I have to say it took me several listens of the ad to be confident that it wasn't an Eagles-type thing that I was just misidentifying. Think that's where my annoyance comes from .

Which reminds me: Has anyone spotted the rip off of Wonderwall that opens the "After Life" trailer on Netflix. I know there's a million of these "sound-a-like" things for Oasis, but if this isn't actually an Oasis song, then it's a fairly horrifying rip-off, rather than general "vibe" of the original, it is the exact sound of the first two chords of Wonderwall. ... It's possibly another Oasis song though, which would simply make it a case of Noel Gallagher ripping himself off, then Ricky Gervais using it to garner "feels" from "CUNTS".
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 27, 2019, 09:18:06 PM
Which reminds me: Has anyone spotted the rip off of Wonderwall that opens the "After Life" trailer on Netflix. I know there's a million of these "sound-a-like" things for Oasis, but if this isn't actually an Oasis song, then it's a fairly horrifying rip-off, rather than general "vibe" of the original, it is the exact sound of the first two chords of Wonderwall. ... It's possibly another Oasis song though, which would simply make it a case of Noel Gallagher ripping himself off, then Ricky Gervais using it to garner "feels" from "CUNTS".

I've only ever heard the first few seconds before turning it off so I just thought it was Wonderwall. Slightly want to seek it out now out of morbid curiousity but can't bring myself to do it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on March 29, 2019, 08:48:12 PM
The Nationwide poetry woman is annoying me. She should be doing an advert for Sudafed.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on March 29, 2019, 11:52:47 PM
The BA advert with all the National Treasure's talking about our green and pleasant land.

This was the best advert I have ever seen. Why? Because it means I'm not going insane the world is truly fucked and you know that millions will see that advert and have a little chuckle and then shed a tear of patriotism and then a warm feeling and go "that was geeeeeeenius!" and those are the people that did that vote a couple years back that fucked the rest of us. I'm not a nutter. I can live in this sharps disposal receptacle of a country knowing that even as my body wastes away my brain remained at least intact enough to know what was going on there. The obviousness of it physically hurts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on March 30, 2019, 05:03:23 PM
Jesus Christ

The bit where some gay men are holding hands, and say "of all kinds". When is this idea that this is a good, modern approach to gay rights going to die out? It's fucking tokenising bullshit, they've just taken the words "it takes all kinds don't it" and made some gay men say it so you'll buy more plane tickets. Fuck.

Olivia Coleman can absolutely get to fuck with her twee English shite, too. "And rather a lot of tea!". Paddington is a more realistic human being. "Oh diddly do, a reward for little old me! I grew up scrubbing steps (inbetween Cambridge University and private school), any little girl can be where I am too, even though the industry relies on promoting a very select few to icon status and there's no room for you here, sorry".

Also please show me the consent forms David Bowie signed several years in advance that said he'd like his image to be used to hawk for corporations.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Twed on March 30, 2019, 05:08:05 PM
In that Matt Berry-narrated Money Supermarket one I assume they were like, "Matt, just talk like you do in Toast of London for thirty seconds."
"Matt Berry, please do that single thing you know how to do"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 31, 2019, 08:27:45 AM
The Nationwide poetry woman is annoying me. She should be doing an advert for Sudafed.

Yes, that ad is very irritating.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on April 03, 2019, 01:29:11 PM
So a watch company have brought out a "Centwrist" watch, half of the dial is blue and half is red and the tagline is "Half Conservative, Half Labour".

Normalising centrisim and TIG while selling watches.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 03, 2019, 01:33:42 PM
Has anyone else seen the Guide Dog advert with the little girl playing football yet or is it just me?

I hope the people responsible never turn their powers of emotional manipulation to evil purposes, that's all.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: beanheadmcginty on April 03, 2019, 10:10:44 PM
So a watch company have brought out a "Centwrist" watch, half of the dial is blue and half is red and the tagline is "Half Conservative, Half Labour".

Normalising centrisim and TIG while selling watches.

TIG Heuer?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on April 04, 2019, 10:48:59 AM
I fucking hate the Andrex advert where one time a kid felt as clean as a squid or something and the ad directors thought "oh we're onto something here" so they made many more adverts where kids adorably compare the clean feeling of Andrex to something ever so random like "a spoon in a circus" isn't it cute cause kids have big mad imaginations and a spoon or circus actually have nothing to do with feelings of cleanliness at all but in a child's imagination they DO. Oh little posh ginger girl you do say the darndest things. "Spoon in a circus" haha imagine that

FUCK OFF
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 04, 2019, 11:03:01 AM
I fucking hate the Andrex advert where one time a kid felt as clean as a squid or something and the ad directors thought "oh we're onto something here" so they made many more adverts where kids adorably compare the clean feeling of Andrex to something ever so random like "a spoon in a circus" isn't it cute cause kids have big mad imaginations and a spoon or circus actually have nothing to do with feelings of cleanliness at all but in a child's imagination they DO. Oh little posh ginger girl you do say the darndest things. "Spoon in a circus" haha imagine that

FUCK OFF

Aww come on, it's like they're on LSD or something!!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: boki on April 04, 2019, 05:08:49 PM
Plot twist: she didn't feel clean at all and her dad's a junkie trapeze artist
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on April 04, 2019, 05:56:02 PM
There's an advert I caught the other day for what I think was Wayfair but suspect isn't because I just checked their youtube and Lorraine Kelly definitely wasn't in it. Anyway the voiceover seemed a LOT like a knowing nod to the Benests of Milbrook and Fineprice geezer.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on April 04, 2019, 07:42:14 PM
Hipsters singing 'Together In Electric Dreams' for Strongbow can fuck off. RIGHT OFF.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on April 09, 2019, 08:33:09 PM
Hipsters singing 'Together In Electric Dreams' for Strongbow can fuck off. RIGHT OFF.

Came in to post about this.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on April 09, 2019, 09:05:13 PM
I hope those two Strongbow pricks, ruining 'Together in Electric Dreams' in a room full of gawping simpletons, bump into an irate Phil Oakey/Georgio Moroder combo in a dark alley and are thoroughly twatted.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on April 09, 2019, 09:23:41 PM
(https://i0.wp.com/batflipsandnerds.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/DbyhepwWkAEc-hl.jpg)

"A remake of The Warriors, only set in the 1980s, and with a gang that model themselves on Phil Oakey and Giorgio Moroder..."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on April 09, 2019, 10:24:36 PM
"Properly policed. It must not turn into The Crow."
(https://i0.wp.com/batflipsandnerds.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/DbyhepwWkAEc-hl.jpg)

"A remake of The Warriors, only set in the 1980s, and with a gang that model themselves on Phil Oakey and Giorgio Moroder..."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on April 10, 2019, 08:40:52 PM
Just seen an ad on All 4 where Robert DeNiro is advertising a Kia.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on April 11, 2019, 07:23:36 PM
a step down from Keith, Ian and Andy
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 13, 2019, 11:28:43 PM
Fosters seem to have resurrected the Aussie helpline blokes for some reason. Literally nothing else to say about that but there you go.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on April 14, 2019, 12:24:17 PM
Fosters seem to have resurrected the Aussie helpline blokes for some reason. Literally nothing else to say about that but there you go.

This is going to happen a lot more I fear. Just wait, we'll see the 'WASUUUUUUUP' jerks again soon.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on April 16, 2019, 08:24:29 PM
That George Clooney coffee ad can fuck right off.  'What doth thou desire?'  What I desire is for someone to have got their fucking grammar right.  Fucksakes.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on April 16, 2019, 09:07:04 PM
A coffee ad where George Clooney works in an office of a suitably desolate firm and slowly goes through caffeine addiction to the point it actually ruins his life somehow
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 17, 2019, 09:41:04 AM
This is going to happen a lot more I fear. Just wait, we'll see the 'WASUUUUUUUP' jerks again soon.

*Howard from the Halifax waits by the phone*
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on April 17, 2019, 08:35:59 PM
Wasn't there an advert recently for some totally unrelated company, where Howard cameoed and was hilariously told he was in the wrong ad?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on April 17, 2019, 08:50:27 PM
Wasn't there an advert recently for some totally unrelated company, where Howard cameltoed and was hilariously told he was in the wrong ad?
Ulp!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on April 17, 2019, 11:21:37 PM
Wasn't there an advert recently for some totally unrelated company, where Howard cameoed and was hilariously told he was in the wrong ad?

Yeah it was Hotels.com with that captain obvious hipster cunt and the thick 'winning' woman bullshit. Hateful stuff.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on April 18, 2019, 01:54:44 AM
Often I'll be reading the paper during the adverts, or I'll tune out and not really pay attention... so there's one advert that has Michael Jackson doing his trademark "Hooooo!" several times, and I keep joining in with "hee-hee!" and "shamone motherfucker!" and when I finally pay attention to it I realise it's supposed to be an owl.  It sounds nothing like an owl, It's Jacko!

Also the McDonald's adverts have really been getting on my piss lately. First you had that Big Mac anniversary ad, showing how vital a part the Big Mac has been in all of our lives through the last few generations. Then that ballache one that tried to pretend the whole nation were arguing about whether it's still a Big Mac if it has bacon. Now their cunt Monopoly game is back and there's a new advert where everyone's going round twitching their finger going 'peely peely!' - because when you peel the sticker off you do that with your finger!!!!!! And our hero doesn't know about it so he's all left out.

There was one a while ago with people getting mortally offended because a big mac shouldn't have bacon in it.  Fuck off, nobody cares. Plus bacon is lovely.

And that peely peely one.  Ugh.  It's like this one guy sees all these knobheads saying 'peely peely' and doing an odd gesture and because he's a foreign he's not familiar with this strange greeting so he tries to fit in by joining in, but in doing so he gets it a bit wrong and everyone thinks he's a bit of a prat.  But it's them who are the prats for saying it in the first place.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on April 18, 2019, 02:10:19 AM
I fucking hate the Andrex advert where one time a kid felt as clean as a squid or something and the ad directors thought "oh we're onto something here" so they made many more adverts where kids adorably compare the clean feeling of Andrex to something ever so random like "a spoon in a circus" isn't it cute cause kids have big mad imaginations and a spoon or circus actually have nothing to do with feelings of cleanliness at all but in a child's imagination they DO. Oh little posh ginger girl you do say the darndest things. "Spoon in a circus" haha imagine that

FUCK OFF

"As clean as a man called David" was the first one.  I like to imagine the first one was spontaneous and then some knobhead scriptrwiter tried to emulate it, and every other advert they do thereafter falls flat.  The same goes for the Hariibo adults miming to kids voices one.  The first batch worked but later ones seem "off" somehow.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 18, 2019, 02:27:19 PM
The same goes for the Hariibo adults miming to kids voices one.  The first batch worked but later ones seem "off" somehow.

I don't mind those. Was there one where a kid appears and its voice is all sensible and grown up?

Mind you - I have a tolerance for Haribo jingles ever since the gorgeous French woman in my office years ago saw a packet on my desk and sang "Haribo c'est beau la vie, pour les grands et les petits,” and giggled.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on April 18, 2019, 06:19:15 PM
There’s a series of ads on the radio for Cancer Research UK and Race For Life that are so annoying they threaten to put me on the side of cancer.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on April 19, 2019, 01:10:46 AM
Jesus, the current Galaxy ad with the rapidly aging woman is a bit heavy for a fucking chocolate bar advert.

"Eat some Galaxy, YOU'RE GONNA DIE"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on April 20, 2019, 08:09:01 AM
^ yes, it's extremely distressing. If it were my cancer ad that was shown next then I'd want a refund.

I'm trying to decide if the current Campo Viejo ads are intentionally odd.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on April 20, 2019, 09:45:47 PM
Paddy Power's 'isn't being a PC snowflake silly?' is anothef one that needs to die.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on April 20, 2019, 10:10:02 PM
There’s a series of ads on the radio for Cancer Research UK and Race For Life that are so annoying they threaten to put me on the side of cancer.

The radio ones in particular. "I'm not a professional athlete, I'm a geography teacher".
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on April 21, 2019, 02:34:56 AM
"I'm just a WOARRGHHHHH in a cage".
Ad for some movie or tv show.  Bugger off you annoying-voiced bint!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on April 21, 2019, 07:35:37 PM
It was bad enough when there was just one Marcus Brigstocke, now they both need to fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on April 21, 2019, 08:51:24 PM
It was bad enough when there was just one Marcus Brigstocke, now they both need to fuck off.

At least now he can actually go fuck himself.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on April 21, 2019, 09:55:17 PM
At least now he can actually go fuck himself.

Probably just adds to the smugness of anything.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on April 23, 2019, 09:46:24 AM
I hate that bingo advert with the gormless fucking voiced guy going "AW NAW WOT A TRAVESTY, CRISPS ALL OVER HER" "OH LOOK AT HER GO ON GEWL"

Phuqúe off
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 23, 2019, 12:14:59 PM
I hate that bingo advert with the gormless fucking voiced guy going "AW NAW WOT A TRAVESTY, CRISPS ALL OVER HER" "OH LOOK AT HER GO ON GEWL"

Phuqúe off

That's the new one out of Plebs I mentioned in the Gambling Advertising thread. He's got form too, he was the vampire in the What We Do In The Shadows ripoff Virgin gambling ads.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on April 26, 2019, 06:59:20 PM
The writing on the new Magnum posters look like some kind of dirty protest

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on April 26, 2019, 07:11:44 PM
There's an ad (for Godknows what featuring some dancing things that appear to be a cross between Telebugs and Teletubbies) which features the Umpa Lumpa song which is annoying because, either, a) The music is ineptly performed, or, b) They changed the music deliberately to avoid paying royalties, but they've hardly changed anything, it's blatantly the same tune.  Can you really avoid paying royalties by playing a tune badly?  It's still the same tune.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 01, 2019, 11:19:31 PM
Fosters seem to have resurrected the Aussie helpline blokes for some reason. Literally nothing else to say about that but there you go.

OK I paid a modicum of attention to it this time when it was just on and I think it's back purely to take the mick out of the craft beer trend. Topical.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on May 04, 2019, 11:01:47 PM
Ginger woman miming with the showerhead for wowcher needs to fuck off
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on May 05, 2019, 05:38:53 PM
Akabusi

Akaboosty

I want to cave in his skull
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on May 05, 2019, 06:22:41 PM
Akabusi

Akaboosty

I want to cave in his skull
Everyone in that advert should die in a threshing machine.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on May 05, 2019, 06:31:42 PM
Why have they decided to add a surplus gimmick to GoCompare with the people going ''fantastic!" ON TOP of the stupid Opera shit
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lgpmachine on May 05, 2019, 09:45:20 PM
The Martin Freeman/Vodafone ads seem to have come full circle, as I saw the foreign wedding one (“No roaming charges...wheeeey...”) the other day.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 07, 2019, 02:30:50 PM
The Tim from The Office/Vodafone ads seem to have come full circle, as I saw the foreign wedding one (“No roaming charges...wheeeey...”) the other day.

Apparently two of the earlier ones have been 'banned' for being misleading - though not before they'd been shown thousands of times.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ornlu on May 08, 2019, 10:24:55 PM
We'll always be together! Together in a pub full of thunderous beardy cunts singing and drinking Strongbow.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on May 11, 2019, 12:05:46 AM
Jeff Bridges in these Amstel adverts makes me sad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on May 11, 2019, 09:22:23 PM
Jeff Bridges in these Amstel adverts makes me sad.
Sounds like he's had a stroke.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 15, 2019, 06:15:03 PM
There's a-bloody-nother ad with everyone dancing in formation to 'You Make My Dreams' by Hall and Oates, this time for some cider or other. That's about the third one in recent years, is it just because of the sequence in 500 Days Of Summer or are they just copying each other?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on May 17, 2019, 11:09:31 PM
I made a Jeff Bridges CaB account a few years back where the brilliantly clever joke was that he only ever talked about bridges. This is proof that some robbing tosser at Amstel reads CaB and is a filthy fucking plagiarist who doesn't appreciate my genius enough to give me royalty money.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 19, 2019, 09:50:18 AM
Trivago woman is in space now. Either Branson's finally got his arse into gear or that's false advertising, surely. 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: a duncandisorderly on May 21, 2019, 05:44:06 PM
They are advertising 'creatives' so they have no conscience whatsover and sleep like logs.

depends how much of a coke-bender they've been on, in order to summon their muse & meet the deadline for the client.
it's an odd game. I must dig out & digitise summat I recorded aeons ago, off BBC2... may've been a 'late show' special, "the death of advertising", where all these big brands had decided that advertising (in its then form) was infra dig & that they'd be taken more seriously by punters if they just upped & quit advertising. still waiting, guys, still waiting.


There's one on a bus stop near me with a QR code thing attached to the metal edge of the poster holder. Does anyone really scan those things?

the ones that are actually part of the bus-stop are useful. they really do tell you when the next bus is coming, accurate to within a minute most of the time. my mrs pointed them out in madrid, & I was then astonished to see them here in chiswick too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 22, 2019, 02:34:32 PM

the ones that are actually part of the bus-stop are useful. they really do tell you when the next bus is coming, accurate to within a minute most of the time. my mrs pointed them out in madrid, & I was then astonished to see them here in chiswick too.

Oh I thought they'd link to an ad/info about whatever was being advertised! Didn't know they were just bus info, but then I've got an app on my phone that does that.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 30, 2019, 09:25:01 AM
The Florette adverts for salad are weird, aren't they?

They used to remind me (visually - although the name of the product is suggestive too) of the film Jean de Florette which is unfortunate, if you've seen the utterly bleak film.

The new advert is the one with the Rap Battle between the small girl (is she the same small girl from the Robinsons Squash adverts? I liked her in those) and a huge lummox with a beard. I'm not sure what they represent. Two types of salad? Anyway, there's something about the way Beard Lummox moves when he's rapping which looks really odd. As if they've dubbed the audio in later (I know they have). And surely the fact he appears to beat the little girl can't be right...

Anyway: apparently 40% of all the bags of pre-washed salad leaves bought are thrown away unopened.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: beanheadmcginty on May 30, 2019, 05:22:25 PM
How come when the old fella asks his Alexa "to play the song that goes 'Valerie'", the Amazon spy gadget knows to play the Amy Winehouse song and not Steve Winwood?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on May 30, 2019, 08:38:20 PM
^ prob'ly default to playing the most recent version, which most people would be familiar with. But also, presumably Amazon's AI could guess the age of the user from their voice and play the older version if appropriate.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on May 30, 2019, 08:53:36 PM
Why does he do it at all? I don't understand the advert. Am I thick? I assumed the first time that he never fucking uses the thing, and he just puts it on when he sees son walking up the driveway so it seems like he always has it playing. That seems about appropriate in my experience.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on May 31, 2019, 12:37:39 PM
/\  /\  /\ I think that's the answer - but it's not a very good way of selling the things, is it?

Also - why is it never the Zutons version? And why is it when you do a google image search for The Zutons, the first suggestion for your next search is 'saxophone player'? Actually, I already know the answer to that...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on June 01, 2019, 07:35:03 PM
That new Boots advert with the song to the tune of I'm Coming Out is starting to annoy me, when the two ''ordinary'' lasses point up at the poster of the slim but still shapely model and sing ''nobody looks like that''

Yeah alright lasses you never ever see a size 8 woman out and about. Never ever, no, u n o b t a i n a b l e .  I'm sick of this oddly sniping angle that sometimes pops up with go guuurl body positive ads. The model isn't that much slimmer than they are anyway..

 If they were going to make a point like that they should have pointed to a very obviously airbrushed and retouched size zero rib and titty model at least. Or better yet just stop with the drawing attention to women's shapes and just show the women in the ad arsing about on the beach being confident without the righteous undertone
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 01, 2019, 08:12:03 PM
There's quite a few adverts at the moment exploiting celebrating women at increased risk of cancer and cardiovascular diseases who are realistic, or 'curvy'. Dove seem to be selling pictures of such people, for some reason.

There also seems to be a firm which (whatever it's really called) I like to think of as Lady Jacamo

Ah well.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on June 02, 2019, 10:44:30 AM
That Boots advert mostly pisses me off because of the terrible lyrics.  Someone got paid for those lyrics.  Meetings were held over those lyrics.  Someone sang those lyrics.  And at no point did anyone think 'hang on, Boots is not a shitty magazine such as might be lampooned through the medium of Photoshop on an Internet message board'.  I have cancelled my subscription to Boots as a result.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 02, 2019, 12:23:06 PM
And when they're prancing down the beach they pass two women who actually do look ''like that". Obviously this being an advert the skinny minnies look on judgementally because all slim women think larger women should walk around in mumus, so to hell with them yeah girls? But it does kind of disprove the premise that 'nobody looks like that' when literally the next women you see in the ad do.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on June 02, 2019, 02:50:05 PM
The whole  thing is stupid. I hate this ''fuck skinny bitches am I right girls'' mentality that creeps into things sometimes. It's just a very childish tit for tat way of addressing body image. Thing is, when you see very obese models like Tess Holliday or whoever, people fail to realise that her size is as much of a dangerous extreme as size zero, just on the opposite end of the scale.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 03, 2019, 03:33:17 PM
Why does he do it at all? I don't understand the advert. Am I thick? I assumed the first time that he never fucking uses the thing, and he just puts it on when he sees son walking up the driveway so it seems like he always has it playing. That seems about appropriate in my experience.

I've watched it again and it's quite a nice story, in which the poor helpless old man hears his grandson/carer singing a song which goes 'Valerie' over and over again and decides to show him he's actually very grateful for how considerate the young man is by arranging to have his favourite tune playing as he arrives. He also proves that he can and does use the technology properly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 03, 2019, 03:37:00 PM
The whole  thing is stupid. I hate this ''fuck skinny bitches am I right girls'' mentality that creeps into things sometimes. It's just a very childish tit for tat way of addressing body image. Thing is, when you see very obese models like Tess Holliday or whoever, people fail to realise that her size is as much of a dangerous extreme as size zero, just on the opposite end of the scale.

The absolutely awful Eva Wiseman covered this subject in her Observer Magazine column yesterday, here: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/02/the-trouble-with-woke-ads-is-theyre-just-another-cliche (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/02/the-trouble-with-woke-ads-is-theyre-just-another-cliche)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Crunch on June 09, 2019, 01:57:50 PM
Funny how all the token cripples have evaporated to make way for the lovable fatties isn’t it? 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on June 11, 2019, 08:17:05 PM
I genuinely couldn't fucking stand those "hey, disableds like fucking too", Malteser adverts.

The deaf/dumb ones with their horrendous plappy mouth noises gave me the fucking bolk.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Clownbaby on June 11, 2019, 08:25:58 PM
I genuinely couldn't fucking stand those "hey, disableds like fucking too", Malteser adverts.

The deaf/dumb ones with their horrendous plappy mouth noises gave me the fucking bolk.

I don't like the lass on the left's badly acted reactions to the story in this one https://youtu.be/lYIEAIogarI (https://youtu.be/lYIEAIogarI)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on June 12, 2019, 11:15:19 AM
They're all awful, but the worst Maltesers ad remains that "just a snog" monstrosity. The second most hideous set of confectionery adverts after the M&Ms bollocks.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on June 12, 2019, 11:36:13 AM
The second most hideous set of confectionery adverts after the M&Ms bollocks.

What, more hideous than this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSVGnuRuphg)? Have a word
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on June 12, 2019, 01:00:21 PM
Nope this one is worse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0eEqeizNCA
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on June 12, 2019, 01:05:56 PM
That's something that crops up in quite a few adverts lately - projecting the idea that little children are conscientiously kind and outwardly altruistic, when everyone knows they're entirely self-centred by nature.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on June 12, 2019, 01:08:07 PM
What, more hideous than this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSVGnuRuphg)? Have a word

Fucking hell, I've never seen that before. It will feature in my future nightmares.

Nope this one is worse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0eEqeizNCA

Yuck, I hate that one too. Horrible cutesy nonsense, and the shopkeeper is a bastard for not just letting her have it. Surely it's all or nothing - either give her the chocolate for free or tell her to fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on June 12, 2019, 06:57:19 PM
I genuinely couldn't fucking stand those "hey, disableds like fucking too", Malteser adverts.

The deaf/dumb ones with their horrendous plappy mouth noises gave me the fucking bolk.
My objection is to the maltesers. They're vile.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Inspector Norse on June 12, 2019, 07:15:25 PM
What, more hideous than this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSVGnuRuphg)? Have a word

Brilliant, I've been searching for a way to reduce my kids' sugar intake for ages, that'll do nicely. Just stick that in front of them any time they ask for sweets or chocolate or ice cream and bingo.

Nope this one is worse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0eEqeizNCA

I just reported that mum to child services. Neglecting her daughter because she's talking on the phone and what happens? The kid turns to shoplifting of course. Disgraceful.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on June 19, 2019, 10:56:52 PM
Good news everyone. I think we've hit the bottom of the lake of tods: https://youtu.be/zuOSe96BiYE

Companies producing adverts entirely on the basis of stoned direct messages from pop stars. Fucking kill me. I demand it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on June 19, 2019, 11:14:37 PM
Good news everyone. I think we've hit the bottom of the lake of tods: https://youtu.be/zuOSe96BiYE

Companies producing adverts entirely on the basis of stoned direct messages from pop stars. Fucking kill me. I demand it.

There's no way he wrote all that in a DM, is there. What a load of bollocks.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Delete Delete Delete on June 20, 2019, 11:22:59 AM
Ed Shillran more like.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on June 21, 2019, 06:52:16 AM
Nope this one is worse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0eEqeizNCA

I should have tried that one when my mum sent me to the shops to get her fags.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on June 21, 2019, 06:57:07 AM
Incidentally, the worst thing on TV (not just the worst advert. It's beyond that) is that Nationwide advert with irritating woman and stereotype gay best friend. If anyone ever phoned me up at 3 in the morning I can guarantee I will not be sharing sunrises with them. In fact they'll be lucky to ever see another one.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on June 21, 2019, 07:10:46 AM
Good news everyone. I think we've hit the bottom of the lake of tods: https://youtu.be/zuOSe96BiYE

Companies producing adverts entirely on the basis of stoned direct messages from pop stars. Fucking kill me. I demand it.

To make it more realistic they should have had the waiter going: 'No wonder you're hair's that colour if you use that stuff.  You're a ginger with ginger hair, you gingernut, Bet you call it auburn sauce, eh mate. Like your hair. Which is ginger.''
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 21, 2019, 08:46:23 AM
Incidentally, the worst thing on TV (not just the worst advert. It's beyond that) is that Nationwide advert with irritating woman and stereotype gay best friend. If anyone ever phoned me up at 3 in the morning I can guarantee I will not be sharing sunrises with them. In fact they'll be lucky to ever see another one.

There's plenty more criticism of that pile o'shite a few pages back from when the longer version was first on ages ago. Yet another classic from the ''Why have they resurrected this why why WHY?'' school of TV advertising.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on June 21, 2019, 09:10:42 AM
There's plenty more criticism of that pile o'shite a few pages back from when the longer version was first on ages ago. Yet another classic from the ''Why have they resurrected this why why WHY?'' school of TV advertising.

Yeah, I do remember seeing that. And I agree. I just find this new one more irritating. And why do they show their names at the start of the ad? Are we supposed to know or care who these people are?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on June 21, 2019, 09:20:45 AM
Yeah, I do remember seeing that. And I agree. I just find this new one more irritating. And why do they show their names at the start of the ad? Are we supposed to know or care who these people are?

All those ads feature actual poets lapping up the Nationwide coin.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on June 21, 2019, 09:30:29 AM
All those ads feature actual poets lapping up the Nationwide coin.

They're actual poets? People actually pay for their poems? Fucking hell, Britain really is broken.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 21, 2019, 09:37:49 AM
Good news everyone. I think we've hit the bottom of the lake of tods: https://youtu.be/zuOSe96BiYE

Companies producing adverts entirely on the basis of stoned direct messages from pop stars. Fucking kill me. I demand it.

To be fair, he does seem exactly the type to ask for ketchup in a 'posh' (ugh) restaurant and then humbleboast about it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on June 21, 2019, 05:17:23 PM
Good news everyone. I think we've hit the bottom of the lake of tods: https://youtu.be/zuOSe96BiYE

Companies producing adverts entirely on the basis of stoned direct messages from pop stars. Fucking kill me. I demand it.
Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus fucking Jesus H Christ and the fucking disciples. What a cunt. What a cunt of an advert. Fuck the universe for that. Every fucking bottle of Heinz ketchup is going in the bin. Smash the bottles and use the sauce spattered shards to pierce Sheeran's boz eyed face the utter dreadful cunt.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Poobum on June 21, 2019, 06:04:05 PM
Now that's a deserving reason to be grabbed round the throat and frog marched out a dinner for. He didn't even taste it first the absolute bastard. Skilled chef are you? Worked hard have you? Expressed your creativity have you? Too fancy, sugary shit going all over your creations, splodge. Bland man's philosophy in life is make all bland.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on June 30, 2019, 09:47:43 PM
Just saw an ad for bottled tea, with unicorns piss and cocaine in it, Fuze Tea, i think.

Annoying enough to begin with, but the way the cunt holds the bottle with both hands as he sips God's piss is more than i could cope with.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on July 01, 2019, 07:48:48 PM
Red Dwarf shilling for the AA?

And it's funnier than everything from season 6 onwards.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Tikwid on July 03, 2019, 12:50:26 AM
I have the feeling those horrifying PPI adverts have been discussed here before (since the campaign's been going on for two years now) but I've only found out about them recently, and I've since developed something of a morbid fascination. There's just something about the animatronic head with limited facial movement, veering across the uncanny valley with its little tank treads, voiced by Arnuld himself rather than a mere soundalike. come ahn....take action before i's too late....DO IT NAUOOWW
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on July 03, 2019, 11:41:11 AM
voiced by Arnuld himself rather than a mere soundalike

IIRC it is an impersonator.

Quote from: https://www.ft.com/content/617e5602-8ca7-11e7-9084-d0c17942ba93
While the FCA would not disclose how much it paid Mr Schwarzenegger to use his image — it is an actor that impersonates his voice in the ad — it said that £5m was spent on production costs, including on “talent”. It also paid £3m to its advertising agency, M & C Saatchi.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on July 03, 2019, 01:00:35 PM
And why do they show their names at the start of the ad? Are we supposed to know or care who these people are?

I've been wondering something similar about how a lot of recent ads name the people in them. The voiceovers say things like 'this is Dave. Dave is very clever for choosing this bank', or 'hey Sharon, haven't you saved money!' Is this a psychology thing?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on July 03, 2019, 01:10:06 PM
And why do they show their names at the start of the ad? Are we supposed to know or care who these people are?

Don't think this is quite what you're mentioning, but something similar and godawful are adverts that announce themselves with film-like titling. "Anusol presents..." or whatnot, maybe with the title of the campaign as well. As if advertising wasn't self-regarding and pompous enough. "Gather round and hush to take in the precious message everyone"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 03, 2019, 02:07:59 PM
Don't think this is quite what you're mentioning, but something similar and godawful are adverts that announce themselves with film-like titling. "Anusol presents..." or whatnot, maybe with the title of the campaign as well. As if advertising wasn't self-regarding and pompous enough. "Gather round and hush to take in the precious message everyone"

This has definitely already been mentioned but there's been a few where the shortened versions are shown on TV and end with ''See the whole film on youtube/at www..com'' etc. Hex on anyone who actually does. Also the editing often renders them nonsensical, there was one starring Peter Dinklage a few years ago that you'd have thought was a trailer for an actual film until you looked it up and realised it was just a 20 minute beer advert. Which tbf was probably exactly the intention.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on July 03, 2019, 02:29:03 PM
Yeah that Peter Dinklage one was weird, did they just make a proper feature length film that was an advert for the beer (Estrella I think it was).


The names thing too, Barry Scott of Cillit Bang. What? Who is he? Why is he introducing himself?


Wiki says
"Cillit Bang television advertisements have been presented by "Barry Scott", a brashly enthusiastic character played by Neil Burgess, who claims that Cillit Bang can remove limescale, rust and groublahblahblah..."

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 03, 2019, 02:40:51 PM
Quote
While the FCA would not disclose how much it paid Mr Schwarzenegger to use his image — it is an actor that impersonates his voice in the ad — it said that £5m was spent on production costs, including on “talent”. It also paid £3m to its advertising agency, M & C Saatchi.


8 million quid.

That's 3 Last Seductions or 3 Timecrimes' or one New Jack City's.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 03, 2019, 04:52:47 PM
Yeah that Peter Dinklage one was weird, did they just make a proper feature length film that was an advert for the beer (Estrella I think it was).

No it was just a short film/very long advert available on youtube, with the edited TV version deliberately made look like a movie trailer, which along with the fact it starred a famous film actor, and the added encouragement to 'watch the full film', all intended to give the impression there was a feature length film. Sort of a spin on the other aforementioned trend for ads which tell you to ''watch the full version' when it's obviously just going to be an extended version of the TV ad, by using the same technique just giving the impression that it's going to be a 'real' film starring Dinklage.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on July 03, 2019, 06:52:27 PM
Jean Reno and Mads Mikkelsen have also done them, I think.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: neveragain on July 05, 2019, 02:02:03 AM
Red Dwarf shilling for the AA?

And it's funnier than everything from season 6 onwards.

Bit of trivia for you: that ad was written by Grant and Naylor, the first time they've worked together since series six.

Yeah. Worth it, eh? (eh)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on July 07, 2019, 02:47:56 AM
help please

this american ad a friend sent me for reasons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qEl-lGfqds

what the fuck is the advert we use this music on over here ?

ta and thank you
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on July 07, 2019, 10:58:57 AM
Incidentally, the worst thing on TV (not just the worst advert. It's beyond that) is that Nationwide advert with irritating woman and stereotype gay best friend. If anyone ever phoned me up at 3 in the morning I can guarantee I will not be sharing sunrises with them. In fact they'll be lucky to ever see another one.


Everytime I see this advert I hate it more. This pair of bastards should be publicly executed.

That's all.

New page. And that's why I can share death wishes with you.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 14, 2019, 12:47:43 AM
Brian Blessed doing Ladbrokes sponsorship ads for UKTV Gold. Shame on him
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on July 14, 2019, 02:17:31 PM
Current shit ad with Dizzee Rascal shilling for Ladbrokes as well. Immediate lack of respect for any cunt advertising casinos or bookies - fuck you, Ronnie Corbett - but it's also unbearably 'quirky'.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on July 14, 2019, 04:35:35 PM
Current shit ad with Dizzee Rascal shilling for Ladbrokes as well. Immediate lack of respect for any cunt advertising casinos or bookies - fuck you, Ronnie Corbett - but it's also unbearably 'quirky'.

Why is Dizzee Rascal delivering someone a Jalfrezi in that advert? Is it a cultural reference that's passed me by or just plain old nonsensical?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ambient Sheep on July 14, 2019, 08:08:06 PM
Am enjoying Kim Wilde flogging that new Cadbury's Dark Milk stuff; pity about the company.

The Jason Donovan version, less so.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 15, 2019, 10:22:14 AM
James Dyson has a weird way of hoovering... striding diagonally across a room instead of standing still and moving the instrument back and forward in all directions before moving and repeating.

Also, if he's trying to channel the GTech Air Ram people, he's too wooden and a Border Collie short.

Also he's an absolute arsehole, even if his hoovers are (were) good.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on July 15, 2019, 11:11:02 AM
OH LOOK, A HOLLYWOOD ACTOR HAS DESCENDED FROM THE FUCKING CLOUD THEY LIVE ON TO QUIRKILY ADVERTISE A MUNDANE PRODUCT IN THE LITTLE OLD UK.

AREN'T WE BLESSED? AREN'T. WE. BLESSED.

> THEY'VE BEEN IN FILMS, YOU KNOW <

ADORE THEM AND RESUME SHITMUNCHING ACTIVITIES
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gregory Torso on July 15, 2019, 11:25:04 AM
Have you all seen the bollocks compare the market whaevertthe fuck advert where the little rat is sitting in his dressing gown and the big computer rat comes on the TV and asks him if he wants to open his last viewed webpage and the rat sweats it because apparently moments before filming started he was sitting in that chair flogging his filthy little rat dick over some unspeakable cat-on-rat sex carrion, spunked all over the floor, cleaned it up with his tatty old wanking robe, climbed back into his wanking rat chair and stowed his grubby little rodent cock away, all while the big computer rat watched him, also wanking but in virtual reality hyperspace, like a randy Al from Quantum Leap punching cum out of his quivering pie because sam leapt into a vietnam war widow it's really doing it for him. This is fine, is it? This is a way for a company to advertise its services?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on July 15, 2019, 11:48:47 AM
OH LOOK, A HOLLYWOOD ACTOR HAS DESCENDED FROM THE FUCKING CLOUD THEY LIVE ON TO QUIRKILY ADVERTISE A MUNDANE PRODUCT IN THE LITTLE OLD UK.

AREN'T WE BLESSED? AREN'T. WE. BLESSED.

> THEY'VE BEEN IN FILMS, YOU KNOW <

ADORE THEM AND RESUME SHITMUNCHING ACTIVITIES

70's - Taxi Driver
80's - King of Comedy
90's - Casino
2000's - Meet the Parents

2010's - Dirty Grandpa / Car insurance adverts.

Seems like a logical conclusion.


Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on July 15, 2019, 12:16:59 PM
(It was a different ACTOR that spurred my tirade.)

But when you just don't buy into 'The Cult of ACTOR' (or their mimsy fucking career trajectories), the shit-eating transatlantic sycophancy of it all is painful to watch getting served up.

BUY 4G TEABAGGING INSURANCE
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: metaltax on July 15, 2019, 12:19:21 PM
It's divorce. De Niro splits from his wife and suddenly he's advertising Warburtons. Cleese gets taken to the cleaners and next thing you know he's pissing on the grave of Fawlty Towers for Specsavers.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gregory Torso on July 16, 2019, 07:49:36 PM
"Dogs Have Hands Too".

FUCK, NO NO. Genuinely greases my spine with a weird icy panic, that idea. It's a sentence you'd expect to see painted in shit on a cell wall, or maybe written in blood on a mirror in a bathroom above a tub of severed postmans' fingers.
Dogs have hands... the horror. Here come the dogs with hands, knuckling along the pavement, dragging their toes. Your dog's cold little fingers flittering over your ankles under the bed covers as you look into its lipid, smugly knowing eyes, "I have hands now" they say.
Dogs clapping their naked babyfat hands together in excitement at a game of throw-the-child-skull-around-the-bone-pit.
Jack Russell yapping and poking you in the shin with its withered little monkey paws going "hey hey hey HEY"
Sticky little palm prints all over the front of the fridge where the dog with hands has been tapping its fingernails at night, divining peperamis.

Dogs with hands learn a rudimentary pictorial alphabet, carving obscene hieroglyphs on your hallway walls that communicate only the desire to fuck and kill and eat. There is no ambiguity now in the relationship between man and dog, no projection of soppy human chemical brain conceits like "love" or "loyalty". The dogs want to fuck, and kill things, and they have NO respect for your property.

"Dogs have hands and feet and willies!" screams a sales rep in Pets At Home. The insanity boils around us all, cats have beards and tattoos, guinea pigs have exhaust pipes, stick insects are paedophiles, it does not end. The pet industy collapses under the weight of all of this mad spiraling re-evaluation of animals' extremities.

Thanks for that, nightmare dog chew hand advert, THANKS.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on July 16, 2019, 08:07:08 PM
Captain Morgan is doing a range of bottles with novelty labels.

Here's the most S4C example:

(https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/vp/a211a3b179a73910c64f8c4b98517c8e/5DA7927E/t51.2885-15/e35/c0.135.1080.1080a/s480x480/36789093_245755556258937_2866834513382604800_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lax3-1.cdninstagram.com)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on July 17, 2019, 08:34:36 PM
OH FUCK. The ginger tosspot is advertising Heinz ketchup.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on July 17, 2019, 09:03:50 PM
OH FUCK. The ginger tosspot is advertising Heinz ketchup.

We've already pulled this bastard apart a couple of pages ago:

Good news everyone. I think we've hit the bottom of the lake of tods: https://youtu.be/zuOSe96BiYE

Companies producing adverts entirely on the basis of stoned direct messages from pop stars. Fucking kill me. I demand it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on July 17, 2019, 10:11:49 PM
Odd. Never seen it before.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on July 17, 2019, 10:28:07 PM
Captain Morgan is doing a range of bottles with novelty labels.

Here's the most S4C example:

      (https://i.imgur.com/5mG17kH.jpg)


Are they gonna do a 'Captain Butler' one with Craig Charles on the label
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on July 24, 2019, 07:44:47 PM
Have you all seen the bollocks compare the market whaevertthe fuck advert where the little rat is sitting in his dressing gown and the big computer rat comes on the TV and asks him if he wants to open his last viewed webpage and the rat sweats it because apparently moments before filming started he was sitting in that chair flogging his filthy little rat dick over some unspeakable cat-on-rat sex carrion, spunked all over the floor, cleaned it up with his tatty old wanking robe, climbed back into his wanking rat chair and stowed his grubby little rodent cock away, all while the big computer rat watched him, also wanking but in virtual reality hyperspace, like a randy Al from Quantum Leap punching cum out of his quivering pie because sam leapt into a vietnam war widow it's really doing it for him. This is fine, is it? This is a way for a company to advertise its services?

The Maltesers ad with the disabled girl is more blatant than that one!  She explains that she had a seizure while she was wanking some guy's cock but he didn't mind because it made him cum and spurt his cum everywhere.  She mimes her wanking action using a bag of Maltesers, and the bag of Maltesers (cock) spurts cum (Maltesers) in the air and one of the other girls tries to catch some in her mouth.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on July 25, 2019, 07:36:11 AM
The Maltesers ad with the disabled girl is more blatant than that one!  She explains that she had a seizure while she was wanking some guy's cock but he didn't mind because it made him cum and spurt his cum everywhere.  She mimes her wanking action using a bag of Maltesers, and the bag of Maltesers (cock) spurts cum (Maltesers) in the air and one of the other girls tries to catch some in her mouth.

I'll say it again, as a disabled person my objection to this advert is the fucking Maltesers. Call me a cripple, mock my silly walk, do that 's*****c' face in front of me...but never ever accuse me of liking those vile honeycomb horrors.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on July 25, 2019, 07:48:35 AM
The problem I had with that advert is that handjobs are hard enough for people to perform at the best of times, and what she was demonstrating there was one of the worst examples I have ever seen. No firm grip, no quickening rhythm, nothing that would reliably coax seed at all. If he managed to ejaculate from that he must have been some total filth merchant, or perhaps a teenage boy who had never felt a lady's touch before.

It's possible I was taking the wrong message from the ad, but it's what stuck with me.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on July 25, 2019, 01:08:47 PM
I'll say it again, as a disabled person my objection to this advert is the fucking Maltesers. Call me a cripple, mock my silly walk, do that 's*****c' face in front of me...but never ever accuse me of liking those vile honeycomb horrors.

Speaking as another disabled person, I love Malteasers.

THUNDERDOME!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 25, 2019, 02:28:16 PM
The problem I had with that advert is that handjobs are hard enough for people to perform at the best of times, and what she was demonstrating there was one of the worst examples I have ever seen. No firm grip, no quickening rhythm, nothing that would reliably coax seed at all. If he managed to ejaculate from that he must have been some total filth merchant, or perhaps a teenage boy who had never felt a lady's touch before.

It's possible I was taking the wrong message from the ad, but it's what stuck with me.

Hold up - I get the distinction between having and getting one off the wrist - but surely 'hard enough at the best of times' isn't right?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ambient Sheep on July 25, 2019, 05:44:42 PM
The Maltesers ad with the disabled girl is more blatant than that one!  She explains that she had a seizure while she was wanking some guy's cock but he didn't mind because it made him cum and spurt his cum everywhere.  She mimes her wanking action using a bag of Maltesers, and the bag of Maltesers (cock) spurts cum (Maltesers) in the air and one of the other girls tries to catch some in her mouth.

For anyone, like me, who wasn't entirely sure whether this was a wind-up or not, it's true, and can be seen here:

https://youtu.be/YgUqmKQ9Lrg

The wanking action is indeed a bit inept, but seems rather more accurate as to what a spasm might be like, which is after all the point. :-)

It's also nearly three years old... amazed it's escaped my attention that long!

EDIT: Apparently it got 92 complaints but not upheld.  Channel 4 donated £1m of free airtime for it.  Was apparently Mars' most successful campaign in years, giving the brand an 8.1% sales uplift whilst on air (over double the expected 4%).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on July 25, 2019, 08:45:45 PM
Speaking as another disabled person, I love Malteasers.

THUNDERDOME!

Traitor!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 26, 2019, 09:42:42 AM
I watched all the Rutger Hauer Guinness adverts on youtube yesterday. I'm amazed how few I remembered, considering how 'iconic' they apparently are (but then they are 30 years old...).

The second one with his 'identical twin' had stuck in my memory (we sound completely different), and I think the long version of 'I may be some time' was shown in the cinema. Obviously the Louis Armstrong one was incredible - I think they made a big splash of that at the time, taking up an entire ad break in TFI Friday, if I remember rightly.

The production values of the later ones still look pretty modern to me, which is impressive.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 26, 2019, 07:20:36 PM
Until I watched Bladerunner in my mid 20s the Guinness ads were the only thing I think I'd seen him in. They were great though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Crunch on July 26, 2019, 08:58:34 PM
I couldn’t stand more than a few of those but nice to see the Crystal Palace Dinosaur getting a bit of air time. 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on July 26, 2019, 11:35:26 PM
Finding quite how craggy Sean Bean is in the Yorkshire Tea ad quite disconcerting. I don’t think anybody’d begrudge him a nip’n’tuck or a spot of Botox. Though I’m not sure he hasn’t already had something done - and it hasn’t worked.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: a duncandisorderly on July 27, 2019, 09:04:22 AM
https://youtu.be/YgUqmKQ9Lrg


wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 23, 2019, 05:39:21 PM
I know it's backslapping bollocks but I don't actually mind the new Channel 4 complaints one too much. The underlying message of "feel free to complain but this is exactly how seriously you'll be taken" is a nice antidote to the usual "your opinion is reeeally important to us honest" nonsense too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on August 23, 2019, 06:31:33 PM
There's an apple pre-roll in the cinema that really annoys me, a whole minute of this smug bollocks waiting for the film to start and they slip it in there between the cinema ident telling you not to be a dick and the bbfc slate so you're lured into a false sense of security.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ny-MGNf301k
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on August 29, 2019, 07:49:12 PM
Has anyone raised the Anchor butter ad (https://youtu.be/5PmTHtCutn8)? It's very weird. I rag on a lot of adverts, but at the end of the day they don't bother me. This advert though, makes me actually physically uncomfortable. Every part of it - the horrible bread that's just growing all around the cafe, the horrifying stretching arm, the drawn-out moan of pain from the man who burns his fingers, the really awful bit where the rabbit slippers have real tongues. It genuinely bothers me on a physical level.

I must be alone, because nobody else is saying anything, they're all just talking about the Desmonds theme tune.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on August 29, 2019, 09:00:25 PM
I know it's backslapping bollocks but I don't actually mind the new Channel 4 complaints one too much. The underlying message of "feel free to complain but this is exactly how seriously you'll be taken" is a nice antidote to the usual "your opinion is reeeally important to us honest" nonsense too.
Yeah, I like that one , as well. They've chosen the pettiest, most cretinous complaints ( " too black", ffs), and are basically telling the people who made them to fuck off. Commendable stuff.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on August 29, 2019, 10:08:34 PM
Saw one recently with some women getting back from a big flying holiday, and it's all rainy and they're trying to find the car and getting all their stuff into it and it's all melancholy and "ho-hum, the hols are over we're back in rainy old bastard Britain now, sad times :( " Then you see them pull up to a McDonalds drivethru and chew on a burger and suddenly they're all "it's good to be back!" or summat.

I can't remember the specifics exactly but the main obvious problem with it is that planet frying internationally ubiquitous offal slab merchants Mac Donalds are one of the only companies that can't use this as an advertising concept. I mean where the fuck have these ladies flown back from, Svalbard?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on August 29, 2019, 10:19:15 PM
Yeah, I like that one , as well. They've chosen the pettiest, most cretinous complaints ( " too black", ffs), and are basically telling the people who made them to fuck off. Commendable stuff.

( Except for that complaint about Jimmy Carr's laugh; perfectly valid, that 'un.)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: a duncandisorderly on August 30, 2019, 03:39:43 AM
william painter.

hipsters' sunglasses, banging on about themselves, over-groomed white guys with monstrous facial hair & "rear-weighted" sun-specs, at the same time they're already out there & living the wealthy life & yet there they are (on youtube mostly) kickstarter begging.

get to fucking fuck.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on September 02, 2019, 07:29:43 PM
'Walk On The Wild Side' is the latest to get the slowed-down, strained voice treatment for Seat. They don't use the 'giving head' line.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: pupshaw on September 02, 2019, 09:11:08 PM
william painter.

hipsters' sunglasses, banging on about themselves, over-groomed white guys with monstrous facial hair & "rear-weighted" sun-specs, at the same time they're already out there & living the wealthy life & yet there they are (on youtube mostly) kickstarter begging.

get to fucking fuck.

Oh my God!!!!!! You Guys!!!!!! Are You Freaking Kidding Me!!!!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Crunch on September 07, 2019, 11:46:05 AM
I know it's backslapping bollocks but I don't actually mind the new Channel 4 complaints one too much. The underlying message of "feel free to complain but this is exactly how seriously you'll be taken" is a nice antidote to the usual "your opinion is reeeally important to us honest" nonsense too.

The idea is good but the execution just falls too far into the smug / knowing / teehee category for me.

I quite like that new surreal one where the husband and wife are doing afternoon school uniform role play and he eats a mushroom and starts talking to a dancing stereo.  Very Man Ray. 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on September 09, 2019, 10:06:35 PM
Radio advert for Chromebooks. Much made of the fact that you can use them all day. Then, at the end, the standard ts&cs blurb says “Battery use depends on conditions and activities.” So... like just about every other mobile device, you can probably get a day’s use out of it if you’re careful...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 10, 2019, 08:58:06 PM
Yeah, I like that one , as well. They've chosen the pettiest, most cretinous complaints ( " too black", ffs), and are basically telling the people who made them to fuck off. Commendable stuff.

I've only just realised the music is 'Je Ne Regrette Rien' too. And amusing as it is, the Sandi Toksvig/Tom Cruise bit isn't from a complaint is it, it's a well known internet joke.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 11, 2019, 09:12:54 AM
Some eejit might have complained to Channel 4 about it, though. You know what the British public are like. Nutters and cunts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 12, 2019, 10:15:49 AM
That Alexa one with blind lady asking about the weather. She would have fucking heard the rain with her perfectly functioning ears. No thought put into that at all.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on September 12, 2019, 05:07:21 PM
that Oreo one is going to make me commit a serious crime.

there was one for insurance or something last night that seemed to have nicked the Robot Chicken theme tune, unless they've paid for it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on September 12, 2019, 08:25:10 PM
Look at this prick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg35J7MWYlw
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 12, 2019, 09:31:39 PM
Look at this prick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg35J7MWYlw
That's fucking beautiful.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bennett Brauer on September 13, 2019, 03:32:03 PM
More campaigning for Brian May to do.

(https://i.imgur.com/ZmzAbp7.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on September 14, 2019, 02:10:04 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/ZmzAbp7.jpg)

"UK's No. 1"
Yet strangely unpopular in Holland...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: a duncandisorderly on September 14, 2019, 02:14:37 PM
Look at this prick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg35J7MWYlw

151 thousand views & no comments? well, one, now.... unless they delete it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ambient Sheep on September 14, 2019, 02:40:21 PM
Gone already, whatever it was.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 14, 2019, 08:53:30 PM
Look at this prick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg35J7MWYlw

I'm stunned he's considered a viable candidate for a fashion ad in 2019. Either I'm completely out of touch or Kurt Geiger are.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on September 14, 2019, 09:37:12 PM
I'm on my phone so can't post a link but on YouTube there's an interview to go with the Geiger and. It's golden. If you think he looked a prick wait till you hear him talking.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: H-O-W-L on September 15, 2019, 04:18:49 AM
Finding quite how craggy Sean Bean is in the Yorkshire Tea ad quite disconcerting. I don’t think anybody’d begrudge him a nip’n’tuck or a spot of Botox. Though I’m not sure he hasn’t already had something done - and it hasn’t worked.

Saw him in an interview for Hitman 2, and he IS looking quite aged. But to be fair to the bloke, he's sixty years old and has made some absolutely cracking films and starred in some fantastic roles. Whatever he wants to do with his own face, fuck it, let him.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: H-O-W-L on September 15, 2019, 04:26:58 AM
Nope this one is worse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0eEqeizNCA

In what fucking world is chocolate kept beneath a glass case at a corner shop?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: a duncandisorderly on September 15, 2019, 07:48:00 AM
In what fucking world is chocolate kept beneath a glass case at a corner shop?

keep the jaspers off it?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on September 15, 2019, 11:18:48 AM
Saw him in an interview for Hitman 2, and he IS looking quite aged. But to be fair to the bloke, he's sixty years old and has made some absolutely cracking films and starred in some fantastic roles. Whatever he wants to do with his own face, fuck it, let him.

I was reflecting more on the passage of time - doesn’t seem that long ago since he was that fresh-faced young actor in Stormy Monday, the first thing I saw him in - rather than “Ew, he’s like totally old now.”
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 23, 2019, 03:22:42 PM
I'm on my phone so can't post a link but on YouTube there's an interview to go with the Geiger and. It's golden. If you think he looked a prick wait till you hear him talking.

Might watch that later once I've steeled myself. If he says anything other than ''No I can't believe anyone still knows who I am either, never mind pay me to front an ad campaign!'' then he needs the biggest slap available to humanity.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 23, 2019, 03:40:25 PM
Off sick at home for the last month and a half, I've been entertained by all the adverts for over 50s funeral plans. You've seen them - but I'm amused by the wide variation in estimates for the 'average cost of a funeral' - which are all underestimates. I've recently had to pay for a funeral (my Dad's), which was decidedly basic. We had the cheapest coffin, the local crematorium, a hearse (no other transport), some printed orders of service, a notice in the local paper: £5000.

I also like the adverts for commemorative coins - which also vary in price from £free to £99. Only one per household.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on September 23, 2019, 03:50:20 PM
Saw one recently with some women getting back from a big flying holiday, and it's all rainy and they're trying to find the car and getting all their stuff into it and it's all melancholy and "ho-hum, the hols are over we're back in rainy old bastard Britain now, sad times :( " Then you see them pull up to a McDonalds drivethru and chew on a burger and suddenly they're all "it's good to be back!" or summat.

I can't remember the specifics exactly but the main obvious problem with it is that planet frying internationally ubiquitous offal slab merchants Mac Donalds are one of the only companies that can't use this as an advertising concept. I mean where the fuck have these ladies flown back from, Svalbard?

Only noticed the other day that they've licenced Soul II Soul as the music. Saying yes to that wasn't very concious was it, Jazzie B?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 26, 2019, 01:59:31 PM
I also like the adverts for commemorative coins - which also vary in price from £free to £99. Only one per household.

Does anyone know anyone who's ever bought one of these, particularly if they did so prompted by an ad?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cardenio I on September 26, 2019, 02:27:25 PM
Does anyone know anyone who's ever bought one of these

My parents had one each. Had the rozzers booting the door of our gaffe down when I was about ten. Me, frozen, thumb in mouth; the riot squad, jackbootish and truncheoned, trampling over Gran. It sounds funny but all I could think as I watched them drag Mum and Dad away was "I told you. I told you it was only meant to be one per household."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 26, 2019, 11:53:10 PM
Just seen Yazoo's Only You in a sentimental coke advert.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on September 27, 2019, 01:13:30 AM
help please

this american ad a friend sent me for reasons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qEl-lGfqds

what the fuck is the advert we use this music on over here ?

ta and thank you

any ideas anybody ? never did find out. thanks
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: a duncandisorderly on September 27, 2019, 01:44:14 AM
any ideas anybody ? never did find out. thanks

I remember seeing that commercial years ago & feeling sick then too. why on earth would you want to know who wrote that awful cloying twee racket? so you can avoid them elsewhere?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on September 27, 2019, 02:10:51 AM
just so i can put it to rest in my brain sorry

i thought it was abbey national cos lifes complicated enough with alan davies but youtube said no. its newer than that anyway.

it sounds like penguins in a cafe but i dont think it is. more bothered about which advert it was used in than who made it but both would be good of course.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 27, 2019, 01:19:51 PM
Just seen Yazoo's Only You in a sentimental coke advert.

The football one? Shudder. Although there's a bit where the music stops and the Cockney spiv says ''We don't sing, we're West Hayyyym.'' that I have on good authority is bollocks as he reminded me very much of an older version of someone I work with who's a huge West Hayyym hooligan supporter, and when I told him he laughed but assured me West Ham types sing louder than anyone.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 27, 2019, 01:22:14 PM
That's the one. It's horrible.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 27, 2019, 05:08:35 PM
any ideas anybody ? never did find out. thanks

It sounds very similar to the music from an early iPhone ad (late 2000s probably)but it's not exactly the same.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on September 27, 2019, 09:50:27 PM
I'm pretty sure it's an ad for something relating to finance - a bank or building society, or perhaps insurance.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Isnt Anything on September 28, 2019, 01:08:47 AM
Yeah thats my feeling too. its driving me bonkers in the nut.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on October 21, 2019, 05:49:18 PM
People's Postcode Lottery ads are both tragic and hilarious. The facial expression on the guy with the crutches who gets his cheque from Jeff Brazier is priceless.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ornlu on October 23, 2019, 08:52:40 AM
You seen the Tetley advert with the realistic CG(?)-ified cat and dog drinking a cuppa and chatting while their owners are away?

Shit wordplay and chummy northern accents aside, there's just something about the personality they give the cat which bothers me. I've seen it before in countless real-life arseholes; it's so snarky and unpleasant while still presumably trying to be friendly, and I've no idea how this is supposed to appeal to actual people (unless of course they themselves are arseholes). Like, I know it's pointless to delve too deeply into these things but someone will have carefully wrote this dialogue to deliberately stir up positive feelings in potential consumers - but when one character says things like:

- ("Oh it's raining, what's that old saying?") "It's raining chaps and gals. Obviously."
- ("At least you don't have to go for a walk in this later...") "WELL IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT! YOU'RE ALWAYS WAGGING YOUR TAIL!"

Then what the F? This is meant to be a conversation between inter-species friends, right? Why is it so aggressively, one-sidedly negative? And how is this meant to make people want to buy the product?

This cat is a prick and I don't want to buy its fucking Tetley tea at all.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on October 23, 2019, 10:04:49 AM
People's Postcode Lottery ads are both tragic and hilarious. The facial expression on the guy with the crutches who gets his cheque from Jeff Brazier is priceless.

He looks as if someone's just told him they're going to check his hard drive. If we're thinking of the same bloke.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on October 23, 2019, 10:06:24 AM
Quote
"Oh my God. Can't even. Those shoes are on POINT!"


Good Christ 2019 - what have you done?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on October 24, 2019, 08:55:23 AM
People's Postcode Lottery ads are both tragic and hilarious. The facial expression on the guy with the crutches who gets his cheque from Jeff Brazier is priceless.

Is he the ancient teddy boy? Or is that someone else?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 05, 2019, 10:02:08 PM
Oh here come the Christmas ads, and I'm already ambivalent about the Argos one. I'm usually hugely averse to ads using existing music, particularly music I actually like, however by using Simple Minds' "Don't You Forget About Me" they've at least made one more inevitably hideously repeated Xmas ad slightly more bearable by not inflicting Christmas music or any other mawkish pop crap on us 199 times a day, but a bearable and pleasingly unseasonable soft rock classic instead. Also I like the slightly self deprecating implication, "don't you forget about Argos, with all your online options, don't don't don't don't." etc.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on November 05, 2019, 10:10:52 PM
Christmas ads?  Famous Grouse the way they used to be or GTFO.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on November 06, 2019, 08:45:08 AM
Argos have now started referring to their catalogue as The Book Of Dreams, presumably in reference to that Bill Bailey bit from years back. Odd.

"And why is it laminated? To catch the tears of joy!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 09, 2019, 02:59:23 PM
M&S's jumpers one is like a horror film where everyone gets possessed, I'm not convinced it wasn't pitched as a Halloween ad until they remembered basic middle aged people don't really do Halloween so switched it to Christmas. And what is "Go jumpers for Christmas" supposed to mean? It's not even a play on anything, it's just nonsense.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on November 10, 2019, 09:08:48 AM
That kind of ad makes me feel really claustrophobic, like being bullied into forced fun. Remember the Tesco one from a few years back where the family all bully the goth kid into wearing his cracker hat? Wankers.

EDIT: Hang on. Set up a thread for Christmas ads: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,76284.0.html
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on November 10, 2019, 09:57:25 AM
My daughter has taken to listening to local commercial radio, specifically Heart North West. There's an advert on that is supposed to show that even with a bit of information missing, a Nando's is still desirable. So the bloke reads out the menu but some words are bleeped out. Perhaps it is the joke they were going for, but it gives the impression you can buy cock on the cob.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on November 10, 2019, 08:26:40 PM
Is he the ancient teddy boy? Or is that someone else?

That's the one.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on December 23, 2019, 03:14:27 PM
Now that I'm at my parents for Xmas I get to see a lot of adverts.
That Amazon Warehouse one turns my stomach. A reputation so bad they have to persuade people their workplaces aren't sweatshops.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on December 23, 2019, 03:18:28 PM
Now that I'm at my parents for Xmas I get to see a lot of adverts.
That Amazon Warehouse one turns my stomach. A reputation so bad they have to persuade people their workplaces aren't sweatshops.

There's a couple of creepy Amazon ads doing the rounds: both the warehouse one and the one where they have an insanely smiley delivery driver, presumably in some attempt to stop people thinking about their awful reputation for mistreating staff.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on December 23, 2019, 04:37:14 PM
There's a couple of creepy Amazon ads doing the rounds: both the warehouse one and the one where they have an insanely smiley delivery driver, presumably in some attempt to stop people thinking about their awful reputation for mistreating staff.

I thought Amazon used courier companies?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on December 23, 2019, 04:41:20 PM
It's Amazon Logistics round my way now.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on December 23, 2019, 05:32:46 PM
It's Amazon Logistics round my way now.

As someone who knows quite a bit about logistics...I don't know how widespread this is but they're definitely introducing their own drivers, who I presume are disposable in the way DPD or DHL drivers aren't (UPS are dodgy from what I've gathered).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 04, 2020, 05:36:45 PM
There seems to be something a bit sociopathic about a lot of the people in ads for dating apps. They're all unfeasibly attractive of course, but that's to be expected, but they come across as the kind of people who'd ask what your 5 year plan is on the first date. A guy is preparing food in a kitchen in one, and he stares straight into the camera and says something about taking things seriously in such a way that it makes you wonder who it is he's chopping up.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on January 04, 2020, 07:59:49 PM
There seems to be something a bit sociopathic about a lot of the people in ads for dating apps. They're all unfeasibly attractive of course, but that's to be expected, but they come across as the kind of people who'd ask what your 5 year plan is on the first date. A guy is preparing food in a kitchen in one, and he stares straight into the camera and says something about taking things seriously, makes you wonder who it is he's chopping up.

Is that one of those hideous ones which market themselves as being for serious, successful people. Guaranteed wankers all round.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 04, 2020, 08:13:34 PM
Is that one of those hideous ones which market themselves as being for serious, successful people. Guaranteed wankers all round.

Probably yeah. Meet someone who's about as much fun as doing your tax returns.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on January 04, 2020, 08:30:46 PM
I hate the Barclays Springboard mortgage advert. The one with the woman wandering into her gaff saying 'Do you know what success sounds like? This, it's not having to sneak past your parents' room at 33. Mum and Dad have done their bit.'.

It feels a bit like those army adverts that are obviously made by the army and would only ever appeal to people already in the army. But for middle class mum and dads that are obviously going to lamp down the deposit of anyone taking out this mortgage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQBIE-dL7Sk

It just has a nasty propaganda feel to it imo.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on January 04, 2020, 10:55:47 PM
Yes, as that is so far from that being my life (aside from the age bit being bang-on accurate) that it may as well be about life on a different planet I find it incredibly patronising. But what else can really be expected from a bank advert?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on January 13, 2020, 02:01:53 PM
Nationwide's latest abomination where boomer cunts in their kitchen guff on about releasing equity on their property because they've worked hard all their life for it and they should enjoy their money because they deserve it and bollocks to our kids, fuck 'em. Run in the fucking castle and pull your fucking drawbridge up, you self-centred, greedy shitstains.

The only comfort I have is when the bloke says "we might need the money for care" and I think of him in a state care home laying in a puddle of his own bed piss all night, falling out of bed to get away from the wet sheets and landing on the pressure mat that's not plugged in and suffering hypothermia before some disinterested teenage carer wanders into his room three hours later, tuts, takes a photo of him face down, smeared in piss and shit and sends it to her Snapchat friends with the message "Me after night out LOL" then hauls him back into his reeking bed to lay there the rest of the day. That's what 4 grand a week from your fucking equity release gets you, pal.

Nationwide just can't do adverts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: lgpmachine on January 13, 2020, 09:50:27 PM
Nationwide's latest abomination where boomer cunts in their kitchen guff on about releasing equity on their property because they've worked hard all their life for it and they should enjoy their money because they deserve it and bollocks to our kids, fuck 'em. Run in the fucking castle and pull your fucking drawbridge up, you self-centred, greedy shitstains.

The only comfort I have is when the bloke says "we might need the money for care" and I think of him in a state care home laying in a puddle of his own bed piss all night, falling out of bed to get away from the wet sheets and landing on the pressure mat that's not plugged in and suffering hypothermia before some disinterested teenage carer wanders into his room three hours later, tuts, takes a photo of him face down, smeared in piss and shit and sends it to her Snapchat friends with the message "Me after night out LOL" then hauls him back into his reeking bed to lay there the rest of the day. That's what 4 grand a week from your fucking equity release gets you, pal.

Nationwide just can't do adverts.

Came here to post about this but the above puts it so succinctly there’s nothing I can add.

The other Nationwide one about recently is in a similar vein; some old dear engaging in an interminable stream of consciousness monologue about how this is “my time” whilst sitting in a deserted riding arena.  They’ve probably binned the youthful poets angle now nobody under 35 can afford a house.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on January 13, 2020, 10:55:22 PM
Came here to post about this but the above puts it so succinctly there’s nothing I can add.

The other Nationwide one about recently is in a similar vein; some old dear engaging in an interminable stream of consciousness monologue about how this is “my time” whilst sitting in a deserted riding arena.  They’ve probably binned the youthful poets angle now nobody under 35 can afford a house.
That's the one where she says "I've fucked my kids off; fuck 'em. Even my 17 year old bastard grandson who uses me for lifts can fuck off, I'm looking after meself now." She can fuck the fuck off anawl. I hope she wraps her Honda Jazz around a tree after she's dropped her 17 year old grandson off at his house.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on January 14, 2020, 04:51:29 PM
I hate the Barclays Springboard mortgage advert. The one with the woman wandering into her gaff saying 'Do you know what success sounds like? This, it's not having to sneak past your parents' room at 33. Mum and Dad have done their bit.'.
As if cunts who own flats need any encouragement to go banging everything at 3am. There's also one about a couple not having to shag loudly in a room next to their parents. Speaking as your downstairs neighbour, we can hear every fucking grunt you selfish cunts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on January 14, 2020, 08:30:57 PM
As far as bank adverts go, this is more like it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nort5Ez3iME
 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nort5Ez3iME)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on January 14, 2020, 08:35:47 PM
what's the verdict on that Vodafone one with the seal in it?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on January 14, 2020, 11:41:31 PM
Love it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 15, 2020, 08:02:57 PM
There's one for a credit rating website where a bloke is looking at a car, and every time he swipes his phone and his credit score improves, the car's replaced by a better one. At the end, a convertible appears with a baby car seat in the back, at which he grimaces, swipes again, his score goes up again, the seat disappears and a mountain bike appears attached to the back instead. I'm not sure what they're trying to say, if your credit score's good enough you won't have to either have a kid or have your kid in your car? That you can go mountain biking instead of having a family? Surely the opposite is true? I don't geddit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on January 15, 2020, 09:06:51 PM
There's one for a credit rating website where a bloke is looking at a car, and every time he swipes his phone and his credit score improves, the car's replaced by a better one. At the end, a convertible appears with a baby car seat in the back, at which he grimaces, swipes again, his score goes up again, the seat disappears and a mountain bike appears attached to the back instead. I'm not sure what they're trying to say, if your credit score's good enough you won't have to either have a kid or have your kid in your car? That you can go mountain biking instead of having a family? Surely the opposite is true? I don't geddit.

There's a companion ad to that one with a girl with an horrendous roommate in a bedsit and she swipes away upgrading the bedsit and the roommate eventually to a great dane and some impossible New York-style oft apartment.

Is this what is known as gameifying? I have no chance of spelling that right btw. It suggests to me that if I download the app and play it like Angry Birds then my income will improve exponentially regardless of how much avocado on toast I choose to eat for brunch.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on January 15, 2020, 09:24:18 PM
Online the Tik Tok ad with the blonde cunt telling his mum he doesnt like tea makes me shit a brick
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ambient Sheep on January 16, 2020, 01:30:22 AM
Oh God yes.  Was getting that every single time the other day on a phone game I'm a bit addicted to.  Nearly fixed my addiction...

Also am actually rather offended that occasionally I get a Wizard of Oz themed advert that turns out to be for some gambling slots game or other.  Surely there has to be a law against using stuff that's popular with kids to advertise over-18 stuff?  I'm guessing the get-out is that The Wizard of Oz isn't a children's film as such, but it's still utterly reprehensible.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 16, 2020, 10:12:46 AM
Oh God yes.  Was getting that every single time the other day on a phone game I'm a bit addicted to.  Nearly fixed my addiction...

Also am actually rather offended that occasionally I get a Wizard of Oz themed advert that turns out to be for some gambling slots game or other.  Surely there has to be a law against using stuff that's popular with kids to advertise over-18 stuff?  I'm guessing the get-out is that The Wizard of Oz isn't a children's film as such, but it's still utterly reprehensible.

On the couple of phone games I play I get a mix of ads for kid's TV shows, Lego, Frozen 2, eyebrow makeup, a bank, other phone games and gambling games, so I just presume they hedge their bets between the ads being seen by a child playing on their parent's phone and the parent.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on January 16, 2020, 10:42:06 AM
Is that one of those hideous ones which market themselves as being for serious, successful people. Guaranteed wankers all round.

There used to be one on Freeview all the time for a dating service called Elite Singles, with a woman claiming it helps her "filter out the time wasters." Like it's a bloody job interview.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on January 16, 2020, 10:54:08 AM
There used to be one on Freeview all the time for a dating service called Elite Singles, with a woman claiming it helps her "filter out the time wasters." Like it's a bloody job interview.

Yeah, but I can guarantee she'd be bloody hard work.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on January 16, 2020, 12:54:11 PM
The amount of "free money playing games WOW look at real money in ur paypal" ads on freemium apps are scary. Just as the fuckload of betting ads on YouTube
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 16, 2020, 03:08:30 PM
The internet's really been a godsend for the gambling industry hasn't it? I mean unlike a lot of pubs, it's not as if bookies or arcades were ever very pleasant places to be, but now they don't even have to worry about that anymore.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on January 16, 2020, 08:42:06 PM
I mean online gambling's been doing well since the late nineties. But I don't remember in early 00s internet dot com boom the same amount of aggressive, targeted, localised gambling stuff: particularly the high street firms on YouTube rather than the Poker apps on freemium app servers. I guess if minors are using YouTube with their own accounts they shouldn't see it but in reality they are using their guardians' logged in accounts. They're playing a blinder normalising gambling when it should be being pushed out.

CAPITALISM!!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Brian Freeze on January 17, 2020, 12:24:20 AM
The amount of "free money playing games WOW look at real money in ur paypal" ads on freemium apps are scary. Just as the fuckload of betting ads on YouTube

I'd been wondering about these. What is the deal?  Im guessing you've got to spunk hundreds of hours into them for a fiver back while watching a bazillion adverts and then they've got your paypal or amazon details and then rinse you for those afterwards by selling them on to some wronguns. Or is it something else?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Brian Freeze on January 17, 2020, 12:31:31 AM
Also - location specific podcast adverts. How they work? Especially when they get it wrong.

I've not heard many but the first was during a Skeptoid episode and came up with a very close by college course (within five miles of home address), it proper threw me hearing that out of the blue.

Tonight Ive just had a couple of way out ones,  a bed shop in Stirling and then straight afterwards an advert for Glasgows public transport system (the subway to be precise) and Ive not been closer than 120 miles from either since May last year.

Any ideas?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ZoyzaSorris on January 17, 2020, 08:28:25 AM
I don't really watch tv any more so my main encounter with ads is on Youtube.

Does anyone else seem to get nothing but ads for 'Masterclasses' (load of pompous shite, especially the one with Neil deGrasse Tyson telling you he is going to 'teach you how to think') and some crap about someone who got fired for inventing an indestructible drone (which is actually just a generic chinese piece of shit)? Or is that just a result of the peculiar digital profile the social media stasi have drawn up for me?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on January 17, 2020, 10:02:58 AM
I'd been wondering about these. What is the deal?  Im guessing you've got to spunk hundreds of hours into them for a fiver back while watching a bazillion adverts and then they've got your paypal or amazon details and then rinse you for those afterwards by selling them on to some wronguns. Or is it something else?
i had a quick look, seems like most of the time you cant even cash in the rewards. I dont think it's even like that get paid to look at ads thing in the early 00s that did actually give you money even if it was pretty feeble. AllAdvantage. Woa that was it.

I doubt they do anything criminal, but they will datamine you on surveys. And show you ads. For um. Other datamining get paid to play games apps? All a bit of a zombie cannibal economy
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on January 17, 2020, 10:05:02 AM
Has anyone got that YouTube ad for an ACTUAL TANK
 I thought it was a video game but no its an Israeli arms manufacturer that makes real killing machines. Only the IDF would advertise ACTUAL FUCKING TANKS on youtube

Edit it was this lot
https://www.youtube.com/user/RafaelMarketingLtd
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on January 17, 2020, 10:06:57 AM
Has anyone got that YouTube ad for an ACTUAL TANK
 I thought it was a video game but no its an Israeli arms manufacturer that makes real killing machines. Only the IDF would advertise ACTUAL FUCKING TANKS on youtube

You're probably logged in to Stephen Morris from New Order's YouTube account by mistake.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on January 17, 2020, 05:45:45 PM
You're probably logged in to Stephen Morris from New Order's YouTube account by mistake.

Like he got into my car by mistake. Of course.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on January 17, 2020, 05:48:24 PM
What do you expect when you drive a Panzer?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on January 17, 2020, 05:50:18 PM
I'm going to see Stephen Morris talk about his book in Faversham next month. Should I read it?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on January 17, 2020, 06:46:06 PM
I'm going to see Stephen Morris talk about his book in Faversham next month. Should I read it?

Dunno. I gave it to a mate of mine who was supposed to be coming with me to see him talk but wasn't well on the night. He must have been suffering because he loves Joy Division to a frankly worrying degree. I'm hoping to borrow it back at some point but haven't got round to asking him yet. Morris's talk was quite interesting though. Then he got into my car.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Brian Freeze on January 17, 2020, 07:38:49 PM
Cheers for your research idunnnosomename.

Have Wallace and Gromit been mentioned yet? Pair of sell out twats.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on January 17, 2020, 11:05:42 PM
Have Wallace and Gromit been mentioned yet? Pair of sell out twats.

You don't know what kind of pressure they might have been under.  It's very easy to bully plasticine.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on January 18, 2020, 12:10:35 AM
Especially since one is mute and the other is dead.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on January 18, 2020, 01:38:07 AM
Exactly!  I bamlem Feathers McGraw.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on January 18, 2020, 09:56:47 PM
actually wow i didnt know about these Wallace and Gromit ads

DFS
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=489522031687518

Joules (wait, who?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyfBGZWOUzE

new precedent for Peter Sallis being replaced by Ben Whitehead, who's been doing Wallace in lesser capacities for years (Blackpool Pleasure Beach Ride, video games and other shit)

they are primarily stop motion but I think there's some CG in there, surely. like when gromit drops through the ceiling. easier to render that than use a model
edit: actually i looked it again and i guess gromit is a fully animated plasticine model but filmed separately and composited in over the set.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on January 24, 2020, 12:11:50 PM
There's an ad which I've realised makes absolutely no sense at all.  It's the one for Voltarol where the dog is annoyed at the Voltarol because it means its owner is able to take it for a walk and the dog doesn't want to go for a walk.  BUT DOGS ARE FUCKING OBSESSED WITH GOING FOR WALKS.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on January 24, 2020, 12:58:51 PM
Back on a bank tip - I had the displease of seeing a new Santander advert with Ant and Dec in the cinema the other day. It really offended my senses.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on January 29, 2020, 08:27:44 PM
There's an ad which I've realised makes absolutely no sense at all.  It's the one for Voltarol where the dog is annoyed at the Voltarol because it means its owner is able to take it for a walk and the dog doesn't want to go for a walk.  BUT DOGS ARE FUCKING OBSESSED WITH GOING FOR WALKS.

I've always wanted to get a greyhound. Apparently they are the laziest dogs o n the planet.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on January 30, 2020, 01:16:48 PM
I've always wanted to get a greyhound. Apparently they are the laziest dogs o n the planet.

Yeah...they're basically lanky cats. Although bear in mind that most of them have done enough running to last a hundred lifetimes, so fair fucks to them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on February 09, 2020, 06:56:31 PM
There's an Army recruitment ad on at the moment in which a young recruit is on some kind of exersize, and he's hallucinating old friends trying to get him to go out drinking, then one of his comrades comes along and reassures him, the hallucinations vanish and on he troops, the jist being that you can get temporary confidence from drinking, or real confidence from joining the military. Because squaddies are well known for their sobriety of course.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Brian Freeze on February 09, 2020, 10:04:34 PM
Am I the first to suggest that the advertising team behind the Oatly campaign need a really good dose of the plague?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: bgmnts on February 09, 2020, 10:09:27 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWBp4m_WS-Q

Haaaaaaate these cunts but the girl in the ad is just funny.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuellar on February 15, 2020, 10:42:45 AM
Saw an ad for curing dementia or something in the cinema last night. Kid annoying his family, turning the tv off in the middle of a football match, using the hot tap when the mum is in the shower, jumping out at his sister in a scary mask, all to try and get them to swear, but they never do - 'OH SUGAR', 'OH FFU....FUDGE' etc. There's clearly a swear jar type scenario going on, you see.

Anyway, kid and dad go and visit grandad in an old people's home - grandad has dementia, doesn't recognise the kid. Kid is sad, dad consoles him at home and steps on a toy or something and lets out an almighty swear. Kid is like 'YES, pay up dad!' and proffers the swear jar, upon which is a label 'GRANDAD CURE FUND'

So the family have been desperately trying NOT to contribute to a cure for their grandad?! Is he a massive cunt or something?

The story is full of holes.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JarrowMonkey on February 15, 2020, 04:48:32 PM
Saw an ad for curing dementia or something in the cinema last night. Kid annoying his family, turning the tv off in the middle of a football match, using the hot tap when the mum is in the shower, jumping out at his sister in a scary mask, all to try and get them to swear, but they never do - 'OH SUGAR', 'OH FFU....FUDGE' etc. There's clearly a swear jar type scenario going on, you see.

Anyway, kid and dad go and visit grandad in an old people's home - grandad has dementia, doesn't recognise the kid. Kid is sad, dad consoles him at home and steps on a toy or something and lets out an almighty swear. Kid is like 'YES, pay up dad!' and proffers the swear jar, upon which is a label 'GRANDAD CURE FUND'

So the family have been desperately trying NOT to contribute to a cure for their grandad?! Is he a massive cunt or something?

The story is full of holes.

The grandads not a cunt, but his sister was in Kes and Coronation Street
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on February 28, 2020, 01:08:58 PM
Have you ever noticed, right, have yer, have yer, how Trebor mints are unable to market their little disks of white crap without resorting to absolutely shit-tier observational comedy? I mean what's up with those seld service checkouts eh? Have you ever noticed
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chollis on February 28, 2020, 01:46:43 PM
I quite liked the Trebor softmints one. With the son telling his dad. So there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on February 28, 2020, 01:59:54 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaTRCHbG_IA
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on February 28, 2020, 06:09:04 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaTRCHbG_IA

That is how you make adverts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: beanheadmcginty on February 28, 2020, 10:27:37 PM
At school we always used to sing "Trebor mints are a minty bit stronger. Stick them up your bum and they last a bit longer."
They should put that in an advert.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DolphinFace on February 29, 2020, 09:59:15 PM
Who is the woman in the new 'you might like' Aldi advert? I recognise her (probably from casualty or something) but it's driving me mad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on March 02, 2020, 07:42:54 PM
That is how you make adverts.

No, this is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMLILUnRD9I
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: willy crossit on March 02, 2020, 07:53:05 PM
Who is the woman in the new 'you might like' Aldi advert? I recognise her (probably from casualty or something) but it's driving me mad.

is she in armando iannucci shows
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JarrowMonkey on March 02, 2020, 10:16:48 PM
Who is the woman in the new 'you might like' Aldi advert? I recognise her (probably from casualty or something) but it's driving me mad.

Peep Show, Mark looking for the ‘one’ when they lock the burglar on the balcony
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DolphinFace on March 03, 2020, 09:54:46 AM
sounds plausible! I was thinking maybe she'd been in Grange Hill 30 years ago or something.

edit: Susannah Wise, she was in Casualty and Where the Heart is. Finally I can get on with my life.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 03, 2020, 07:39:01 PM
Okay.  There was an ad on E4 in the last hour or so that used an orchestral piece from a film soundtrack.  I can't identify the film and I can't remember what the ad was for.  All I've got is ba da-da daaa - bap bada daaa daaaaa going  round in my head.

Help me.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 03, 2020, 10:24:16 PM
My bitch Google helped - it's from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (https://youtu.be/PZT8VqdE8Tk)[1].  Sanity retained.  Or at least a vague facsimile thereof.

 1. At about 6m 34s
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on March 03, 2020, 11:53:41 PM
My bitch Google helped - it's from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (https://youtu.be/PZT8VqdE8Tk)[1].  Sanity retained.  Or at least a vague facsimile thereof.
 1. At about 6m 34s

Ah...was just about to suggest that (as it seemed to be the only soundtrack listed with the recent adverts on www.sounds-familiar.info). It's on that weird Starling Bank commercial.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 04, 2020, 12:15:55 AM
See, this is why I love the Internet.  Without it I'd still be humming those few bars to myself and bashing my head against thirty years of audio memories.

I also love your avatar and probably always will.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on March 05, 2020, 08:06:59 AM
I also love your avatar and probably always will.

Aww...thanks Cerys. This place wouldn't be the same without Uncle Deadly either.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on March 09, 2020, 11:00:39 PM
Man watches car advert in car advert:
Ad in ad voiceover: "Introducing... The New Kia X-Ceed"
Man: "Is that the new Kia X-Ceed? Is it out?"

Course it's fucking out, you clopper. They're advertising it in an advert. They're not going to advertise it if it's not for sale, are they? "Introducing... the new Kia X-Ceed. It doesn't exist. We haven't made it yet. We just thought you'd like to look at some images of the car that might be coming out over the next twelve months or so..."

The fucking donger.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 10, 2020, 01:16:33 AM
They do it with films and games.  Maybe he asks if it's out yet to suggest that he's a hip and happening man of the world.

Edit - or he thinks the car might be gay.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 10, 2020, 08:53:37 AM
Man watches car advert in car advert:
Ad in ad voiceover: "Introducing... The New Kia X-Ceed"
Man: "Is that the new Kia X-Ceed? Is it out?"

Course it's fucking out, you clopper. They're advertising it in an advert. They're not going to advertise it if it's not for sale, are they? "Introducing... the new Kia X-Ceed. It doesn't exist. We haven't made it yet. We just thought you'd like to look at some images of the car that might be coming out over the next twelve months or so..."

The fucking donger.

was he wearing a nappy and screaming "is it out!" in an excited but petulant manner, thumping his pudgy hands in his mashed banana while his wife shakes her head in the background?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Brian Freeze on March 10, 2020, 05:38:46 PM
Red Dwarf and the AA? Get fucked.

Extra glad I saved myself over 70 notes by finding another roadside repair outfit. Id have been fuming.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blumf on March 10, 2020, 05:54:48 PM
Man watches car advert in car advert:
Ad in ad voiceover: "Introducing... The New Kia X-Ceed"
Man: "Is that the new Kia X-Ceed? Is it out?"

Really weird ad. It's like he's some kind of Stepford car buyer, compelled to buy the same car as the rest of the neighbourhood. Not even a hint of exclusivity or specialness that car ads usually aim for.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 12, 2020, 09:53:33 PM
Smashing Pumpkins on an iphone ad now, bah. Fuck you sad Billy.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on March 13, 2020, 01:26:28 AM
Smashing Pumpkins on an iphone ad now, bah. Fuck you sad Billy.

With the music industry having changed massively in the last 20 years I don't blame people for licencing their music for use in adverts.  Make the money where you can.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on March 13, 2020, 07:11:22 AM
With the music industry having changed massively in the last 20 years I don't blame people for licencing their music for use in adverts.  Make the money where you can.

But, but, Bill Hicks said...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on March 14, 2020, 06:59:52 AM
At least they used the actual song and not a plinky piano fragile female voice abortion
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on March 14, 2020, 07:01:29 AM
The current black horse bank advert is in my top 5 most depressing adverts. Every single thing about it is truly horrible
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on March 14, 2020, 02:38:12 PM
On the note of music licensing, is Queen's music especially cheap or something? It seems to be used in a lot of adverts lately, starting with that gash Flash mop ad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on March 14, 2020, 03:00:32 PM
gash Flash mop ad.

Basic Instinct?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on March 14, 2020, 08:47:23 PM
Basic Instinct?

Karl Howman vaginoplasty
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: beanheadmcginty on March 15, 2020, 07:10:58 AM
On the note of music licensing, is Queen's music especially cheap or something? It seems to be used in a lot of adverts lately, starting with that gash Flash mop ad.

I know nothing about the advertising industry so this is a complete guess, but my assumption is that modern advertising executives are complete cunts without a shred of creativity or interest in the world around them. So there's every chance they've only just discovered the band Queen after seeing the film Bohemian Rhapsody and in their minds it's been like cracking open a musical Aladdin's cave. "We've found a song that has the same name as the stuff we're selling! This will blow everybody's minds!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 15, 2020, 12:38:31 PM
Every other advert on Comedy Central seems to be for life assurance. There are two varieties, Beagle Street cunts trying to make recent parents fear death rather than embrace it, and old cunts leaving £250 for their grandkids to get their faces tattooed unrecognisably on their chests (£20 M&S voucher if you die after a year). Is this a COVID thing, or more due to all the payday loan companies being shut down?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: neveragain on March 15, 2020, 02:25:16 PM
I've been watching Judge Judy a lot on MADE in Tyne & Wear (a sentence already full of two types of desolation), and 98% of the adverts are for extremely grisly and unpleasant true-crime series. I was going to write a parody but it's too depressing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on March 15, 2020, 04:01:32 PM
but my assumption is that modern advertising executives are complete cunts without a shred of creativity

So Daewoo using Banana Boat Song should be just around the corner.

Day-oooo, Daaaay-ooooo, Daylight comes and me wan' a new car!

I had a whole bunch of these but that's the only one i can remember.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 15, 2020, 05:19:59 PM
Really hate it when soul classics are cheapened for shit ads, Aretha Franklyn for Freederm, Minnie Ripperton for Bells.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on March 15, 2020, 06:04:19 PM
Isn't there a 50 year publishing rights thing that exists?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on March 16, 2020, 01:13:25 AM
Every other advert on Comedy Central seems to be for life assurance. There are two varieties, Beagle Street cunts trying to make recent parents fear death rather than embrace it, and old cunts leaving £250 for their grandkids to get their faces tattooed unrecognisably on their chests (£20 M&S voucher if you die after a year). Is this a COVID thing, or more due to all the payday loan companies being shut down?

On Talking Pictures it seems every other ad is for life insurance and making sure you've got your funeral expenses sorted because you're must be DEAD SOON if you spend all day watching obscure Anthony Newley films.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 16, 2020, 01:49:14 AM
Can't be arsed reading back to find out if it's already been mentioned, but seeing a Viagra ad with Come Up and See Me (Make Me Smile) as the music did, indeed, make me smile.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ersatz99 on March 17, 2020, 10:39:09 AM
Pineapple banana satsuma kumquat!

Lad buying single items of fruit and slapping his card against the contactless reader in a high-five motion. None of this made any sense to me from the advert itself so I had to look it up. Apparently Moneybox allows you to invest your spare change from purchases into stocks and shares. Does the concept of spare change even exist with card purchasing?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 17, 2020, 11:34:58 AM
Can't be arsed reading back to find out if it's already been mentioned, but seeing a Viagra ad with Come Up and See Me (Make Me Smile) as the music did, indeed, make me smile.

It has indeed already been mentioned:

Scene - summer morning, a large airy bedroom. As the sound of Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) by Cockney Rebel strikes up, a middle aged but obviously youthful couple wake up. The man, wearing short pyjamas and a flowing lightweight robe proceeds to dance through the house downstairs to the kitchen.

A public safety film, warning against the dangers of wearing socks on polished wooden staircases?

Not quite.

(Also - confusingly, once the man reaches the ground floor, there is a woman apparently already there to greet him... but we last saw his wife upstairs. No wonder he needs the little blue pill).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 17, 2020, 11:45:34 AM
Wow. The old Adverts thread is amazing. Page 40-something, there's a discussion from 2015 about Clean Bandit shilling for something called Cortana which I (and everyone else) had completely forgotten about.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on March 17, 2020, 12:47:10 PM
Wow. The old Adverts thread is amazing. Page 40-something, there's a discussion from 2015 about Clean Bandit shilling for something called Cortana which I (and everyone else) had completely forgotten about.

A beautiful thread. Here's the start of the Clean Bandit excoriation: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,34318.msg2483011.html#msg2483011

Just realised the original YouTube link is dead. Not sure if this is the original advert, but it's bad enough: https://vimeo.com/120307305
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on March 17, 2020, 01:51:24 PM
A beautiful thread. Here's the start of the Clean Bandit excoriation: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,34318.msg2483011.html#msg2483011

Just realised the original YouTube link is dead. Not sure if this is the original advert, but it's bad enough: https://vimeo.com/120307305

There was definitely another one where the girl Bandit says something along the lines of "Cortana, remind me to take lots of photos backstage, you know, for our fans." Urgh.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 17, 2020, 03:14:31 PM
Clean Bandit are a tricky prospect. Awful posh cello botherers... who make terrible but brilliant pop music which I hate and it's great... and they speak up for Jeremy Corbyn.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: studpuppet on March 17, 2020, 04:08:30 PM
So Daewoo using Banana Boat Song should be just around the corner.

Day-oooo, Daaaay-ooooo, Daylight comes and me wan' a new car!

I had a whole bunch of these but that's the only one i can remember.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-V-KCY7SMU (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-V-KCY7SMU)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 18, 2020, 01:47:52 AM
It has indeed already been mentioned:

Thankyou muchly!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on March 19, 2020, 07:18:58 PM
I hate it when I legitimately like an advert, but I like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUFHDUTyugU).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on March 19, 2020, 07:25:13 PM
I hate it when I legitimately like an advert, but I like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUFHDUTyugU).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbe6zAjqOhY
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 20, 2020, 10:17:49 AM
Cool - but the Boddingtons Adverts from the 90 were the same joke basically.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on March 20, 2020, 10:41:22 AM
Is anyone else finding adverts a bit weird during this time of lockdown and viruses. All adverts seem to feature people out and about, transmitting the virus like nobody's business.

Companies must be happy that people are at home more to see the adverts, but pissed off that people are unable to go out and buy the things they're selling.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on March 20, 2020, 12:15:01 PM
Yeah very odd. I expect when lockdown finally comes there'll be a special dispensation for going to the Oak Land Furniture Superstore sale, on until the middle of May.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on March 21, 2020, 01:13:10 PM
Another missed opportunity for an advert...

"He said, If you're gonna play the Game Boy you gotta learn to play it right."

(Kenny Rogers - The Gambler)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on March 22, 2020, 06:07:45 PM
Loads of ads for food you cannot buy on the telly at the mo.

It's like North bleedin' Korea!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 22, 2020, 08:13:58 PM
I hate it when I legitimately like an advert, but I like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUFHDUTyugU).

Seen this properly now.

You might, or might not, be interested to know it was filmed at Pitzhanger Manor, the recently restored country home of eccentric genius architect John Soane. It's in Ealing, and we'll worth a visit when this is all over.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on March 22, 2020, 09:42:49 PM
The current ad for Kia seems to star the actor who played the copper in Cozza who sexually abused Bethany Platt. Surprised a major brand would choose to associate itself with rape etc. I realise he's an actor doing a job, but still.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on March 22, 2020, 11:51:24 PM
You might, or might not, be interested to know it was filmed at Pitzhanger Manor, the recently restored country home of eccentric genius architect John Soane. It's in Ealing, and we'll worth a visit when this is all over.

I've been to John Soane's house in central London, so that is quite interesting. I might wait until Crossrail's finished before going to Ealing. I expect this business will delay that too mind you.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: amateur on March 25, 2020, 03:41:56 PM
Every other advert on Comedy Central seems to be for life assurance. There are two varieties, Beagle Street cunts trying to make recent parents fear death rather than embrace it, and old cunts leaving £250 for their grandkids to get their faces tattooed unrecognisably on their chests (£20 M&S voucher if you die after a year). Is this a COVID thing, or more due to all the payday loan companies being shut down?

There's a lot of equity release ads banging around at the moment, all of which seem to tow the same "your choice no pressure" line to what is a fairly sinister business all round. Gives me the creeps.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on March 25, 2020, 03:49:05 PM
The Poppy Lottery advert makes me want to join ISIS.

"Goin' anywhere nice"
"Maybe I'll be seeing you down the shops. Go on....treat yourself"
"What a Great British thing to do"

FUCK RIGHT OFF.

There are now about 47 different lotteries with ads on rotation on the telly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on March 26, 2020, 05:43:42 PM
If there's anybody out there who can explain the Beko washing machine/Barcelona mash-up, please do.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 27, 2020, 03:48:25 PM
There's a lot of equity release ads banging around at the moment, all of which seem to tow the same "your choice no pressure" line to what is a fairly sinister business all round. Gives me the creeps.

"Fuck your children! Spend it all!"

Although maybe it stops the council taking your house to pay for your dementia care. Yay!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on March 28, 2020, 01:57:41 PM
What's the lead time on TV advert booking? The life assurance and equity release ads are obviously there because in normal times, the only people watching telly all day are either penniless unemployeds or retired people but I'm sure I'm not the only one now working from home to the background of Comedy Central and Gold's weird semi repeating schedules of Friends and OFAH respectively. Should the adverts through the day not start to normalise?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: beanheadmcginty on March 28, 2020, 06:05:18 PM
They'll spend all month trying to sell the spots, but the commercial breaks themselves are only finalised and delivered to the broadcaster a couple of days before. Everyone's bartering at the moment though, with broadcasters accepting lower prices to keep the advertisers on air. We've actually had emergency slides made up for use if the shit really hits the fan and we don't have any commercials to show.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 29, 2020, 10:17:03 AM
If there's anybody out there who can explain the Beko washing machine/Barcelona mash-up, please do.

Probably made for the Spanish market then dubbed into English (the girl's voice is)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 29, 2020, 12:00:22 PM
There's a current ad for something, can't remember what, possibly food, that has a couple singing that "Tomayyyto, tomarrto, let's call the whole thing off" song, but they're both American, and the whole point of the song is that one of them should be British. They're also both unbearably smug but that's another can o' beans.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on March 29, 2020, 01:01:22 PM
There's a current ad for something, can't remember what, possibly food, that has a couple singing that "Tomayyyto, tomarrto, let's call the whole thing off" song, but they're both American, and the whole point of the song is that one of them should be British. They're also both unbearably smug but that's another can o' beans.

Yuck, that's a horrible ad. It's not even for tomatoes, it's for fucking rice!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 29, 2020, 01:46:36 PM
You say rice. I say rice.

Rice.


Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on March 29, 2020, 03:25:28 PM
Yuck, that's a horrible ad. It's not even for tomatoes, it's for fucking rice!

WE HOPE ITS CHIPS ITS CHIPS
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buzby on March 30, 2020, 11:47:08 AM
Probably made for the Spanish market then dubbed into English (the girl's voice is)
It was made for the McCann agency's Barcelona office for Beko's local importer (Beko is based in Turkey). However, even the  as Spanish version (https://www.fcbarcelona.es/es/videos/708756/barca-beko-come-como-un-profesional#) feels like it's been overdubbed.

There is an almost identical advert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDbHSecdIbY) in the same 'Eat Like A Pro' campaign made for McCann's Istanbul office that features Fenerbahçe's basketball team, where the little girl's voice is plainly overdubbed, but the Fenerbahçe coach (Željko Obradović) and the players laughter and chanting of the tagline at the end was obviously captured on-set. It looks to have originally been filmed in Turkish (https://sw-ke.latest.facebook.com/McCannIstanbul/videos/1875678665871209/) (as you probably would expect).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on April 04, 2020, 02:39:21 AM
ITV following a 'Remain Indoors' PSA with an ad telling us that there are Cadbury Easter eggs hidden all around the country is a special kind of cuntery.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on April 04, 2020, 02:54:16 AM
What's the lead time on TV advert booking? The life assurance and equity release ads are obviously there because in normal times, the only people watching telly all day are either penniless unemployeds or retired people but I'm sure I'm not the only one now working from home to the background of Comedy Central and Gold's weird semi repeating schedules of Friends and OFAH respectively. Should the adverts through the day not start to normalise?

I don't think stuff outside of prime time is booked; it's just shit that's roughly profiled and shown by agencies.

Streaming is the one ad-ops love, because they can show different ads campaigns to different people based on things much more specific than televison transmitter region.*

*or if it's getting near the end of the campaign turn all the filters off so it gets the numbers off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on April 09, 2020, 01:01:14 PM
The current Justeat ad shows a couple watching a shopping channel. On their telly screen the bloke presenter picks up a shaver and says, "Tell me, Sharon(?), is this what you use for your Brazilian?"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on April 14, 2020, 07:40:45 PM
That eBay ad - ninety-four seconds?  Both times?!  Bloody hell.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bronzy on April 14, 2020, 07:41:49 PM
That eBay ad - ninety-four seconds?  Both times?!  Bloody hell.

sex
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on April 14, 2020, 10:27:13 PM
The Private Eye reference makes it extra bleak.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on April 14, 2020, 10:43:29 PM
There's an ad they still play on the radio - starts with a bleak "We are in a war..."

Oh yes i know, isn't it terrible.

"...a war, on CARBON"

Oh, that! Jeez, not now

It took them a couple of weeks to pull all the BT Sport Premier League ads, and Julie Walters punting Saga cruises even longer, but this one remains. You mentally switch off when you realise it isn't about the virus.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on April 15, 2020, 03:26:16 AM
sex

Yeah, I get that - which is why I'm gobsmacked.  That poor, unfulfilled couple.

The Private Eye reference makes it extra bleak.

Indeed.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on April 17, 2020, 02:19:33 PM
https://www.stiltz.co.uk/

Delboy seems to be trying to flog stuff to cunts who want to make their homes look like the inside of a shopping centre.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on April 17, 2020, 05:20:30 PM
That Lennor ad with people all snuggling up in a bed in a high street. These sheets haven’t been washed for a week. Yeah but they haven’t been slept, wanked, sweated or cried in for a week either.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on April 17, 2020, 05:22:19 PM
That eBay ad - ninety-four seconds?  Both times?!  Bloody hell.

A great ad for contraception that one
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 17, 2020, 06:01:49 PM
In the current EE Adverts with Kevin Bacons, the one where he somberly announces the free whatever to NHS employees, something occurred to me.

Because it's to do with The Virus, they've shot it as if it's been done on a laptop with a webcam, with a low angle and the improvised bacground. Except they obviously haven't, because it's all HD and properly lit. Except they've put some kind of filter on the sound, to make it sound like he's on the phone.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on April 20, 2020, 09:54:44 PM
"Everyone's got questions about equity release."

No they haven't. Do you really need this, Kevin Whately?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on April 20, 2020, 10:13:44 PM
As soon as lockdown is over I'm leaving the house with the same level of enthusiasm that a 70's teenager had when going to WH Smith.
https://youtu.be/kG1VxkKSEp4
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 21, 2020, 12:02:42 PM
Well it's taken a little under 4 weeks for virtually every ad to become a virus version and only vaguely fitting others remain (e.g. those sodding black horses galloping about to a whispering cover of "You're Not Alone", and ads for cleaning products). Everything else has been pulled so there must be less ads on rotation than there's ever been, given TV advertising was already in decline. So there's truly no escape now, even watching sitcom repeats on E4 to avoid the news you get reminders every 15 minutes that it's really 2020 and we're all fucked.

In the current EE Adverts with Kevin Bacons, the one where he somberly announces the free whatever to NHS employees, something occurred to me.

Because it's to do with The Virus, they've shot it as if it's been done on a laptop with a webcam, with a low angle and the improvised bacground. Except they obviously haven't, because it's all HD and properly lit. Except they've put some kind of filter on the sound, to make it sound like he's on the phone.

Yeah I'm suspicious about how a lot of these virus referencing ads have sprung up so fast too, surely they can't have been entirely produced from home?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: C_Larence on April 21, 2020, 12:22:07 PM
Fuck everyone involved with the Kate Tempest Facebook advert. Another poet once referred to her as the Trump of poetry, but I think she’s more like Hitler.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BritishHobo on April 21, 2020, 12:25:56 PM
I like the Tesco ad where they've slapped 'isolation' in the name of the recipe to make it look like it's crafted for lockdown times when it's blatantly like a 'first easter without the kids' receipe. You can only do what you can do, I guess.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on April 24, 2020, 06:54:31 PM
I know this ad is normally for product ads, but I love one of the ads on Discovery Channel for it's own programme where some Brummie guy is claiming to have found Knights Templar treasure or something.

He claims 'It's the greatest find since Tutankhamun' but he pronounces the last word 'Tooting-kamoon' and it tickles me.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on April 24, 2020, 09:53:33 PM
Love the new Barclays advert featuring employee's in their casual clothes, all bar one, who is working from home in her uniform.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on April 25, 2020, 02:18:20 AM
What they don't tell you is that it's only because her boyfriend has a fetish.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on April 25, 2020, 08:43:03 AM
Love the new Barclays advert featuring employee's in their casual clothes, all bar one, who is working from home in her uniform.

Fucking jobsworth...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 25, 2020, 09:56:54 AM
Love the new Barclays advert featuring employee's in their casual clothes, all bar one, who is working from home in her uniform.

A friend of mine working from home is doing "dress up Fridays", posting pictures on social media of himself in his office clothes every Friday morning. Death's sweet embrace.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on April 25, 2020, 12:20:44 PM
Fuck everyone involved with the Kate Tempest Facebook advert. Another poet once referred to her as the Trump of poetry, but I think she’s more like Hitler.
fucking hell she is one helluva hack shill. Shes abput as genuine as one of those stupid wordy "inspirational" signs people buy from tk maxx to hang in their shitty house
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on April 25, 2020, 12:31:15 PM
I've hated Kate Tempest since the noughties.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: C_Larence on April 25, 2020, 12:33:43 PM
I make my brother laugh by doing an impression of her that is just:

Quote
I WENT TO DA CHIPPY, BUT DA ROADS WERE SLIPPY
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on April 25, 2020, 12:36:57 PM
I don't mind Tempest. I think people who hail her as a genius are a bit thick, but then I think that of people who do the same to Sleaford Mods, but ultimately she seems ok.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 25, 2020, 04:57:22 PM
Apparently the excellent Talking Pictures might be in trouble because all the adverts for cruises have stopped. Surprised that the adverts for commemorative coins and equity release are not keeping them afloat but there it is.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Crunch on April 25, 2020, 05:32:21 PM
As soon as lockdown is over I'm leaving the house with the same level of enthusiasm that a 70's teenager had when going to WH Smith.
https://youtu.be/kG1VxkKSEp4

That's beautiful, is it Birmingham? 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on April 25, 2020, 06:25:51 PM
It certainly looks like it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 26, 2020, 12:16:22 PM
Compare The Market must be doing alright because those fucking meerkats appear to live in a vast glass-fronted house overlooking San Francisco bay. Mind you it's only meerkat sized so they probably got it cheap.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on April 27, 2020, 07:53:16 AM
Well it's taken a little under 4 weeks for virtually every ad to become a virus version and only vaguely fitting others remain (e.g. those sodding black horses galloping about to a whispering cover of "You're Not Alone", and ads for cleaning products). Everything else has been pulled so there must be less ads on rotation than there's ever been, given TV advertising was already in decline. So there's truly no escape now, even watching sitcom repeats on E4 to avoid the news you get reminders every 15 minutes that it's really 2020 and we're all fucked.

Yeah I'm suspicious about how a lot of these virus referencing ads have sprung up so fast too, surely they can't have been entirely produced from home?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vM3J9jDoaTA
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on May 01, 2020, 05:27:41 PM
Probably no surprise to the people who endured the commercial breaks whilst live-streaming Better Call Saul, but this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM3J9jDoaTA) perfectly demonstrates how repetitive US adverts have become during the pandemic.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on May 01, 2020, 06:23:45 PM
American adverts explain a lot; I saw one for chemotherapy when I was over there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on May 01, 2020, 06:31:39 PM
Fuck everyone involved with the Kate Tempest Facebook advert. Another poet once referred to her as the Trump of poetry, but I think she’s more like Hitler.

You sexy bastard. Couldn't agree more, snubbed me at latitude once when introduced to her so when she later came to our tent and I was delivering a bit about odious little shits I welcomed her in from the entrance. Mmmm creamy
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on May 14, 2020, 07:20:55 PM
Nationwide's new one again with wretched spoken word sewage, all the great times during lockdown.  This virus is a God send to advertisers,the adverts literally write themselves, any old fucker speaking into a webcam or phone, they could be talking about genital mutilation and I don't think anyone would pay attention.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on May 15, 2020, 01:22:23 AM
Saw a tampon ad the other day with a catchphrase something like "not just the tip, shove it right up!".
If I'd been taking a drink I'd maybe have snorted it out of my nose, but I wasn't.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on May 15, 2020, 03:18:33 PM
Anyone put their foot through the TV at the LOCKDOWN Malteser ads yet? Been watching more All 4 the last few days so been bombarded by them. Rochelle from PJDN is the bottom right participant - I will probably forgive her in time.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on May 15, 2020, 05:40:44 PM
Anyone put their foot through the TV at the LOCKDOWN Malteser ads yet? Been watching more All 4 the last few days so been bombarded by them. Rochelle from PJDN is the bottom right participant - I will probably forgive her in time.

They're not still making disabled people eat the honeycomb horrors are they? Do they think we don't already suffer enough?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on May 15, 2020, 05:47:29 PM
Ha! No - they've laid off the patronising "disableds are saucy too" schtick. It's all Zoom these days. The ad is basically a televised Facebook / Mumsnet mashup.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 16, 2020, 01:14:32 PM
Not to sound callous (although of course it will) , but there's so many more charity ads on now and they're so lonnnnnnng. They're almost as generic as the lockdown ads too, sad piano music, sad voiceover saying "Please, PLEASE help", sad children/animals/celebrity, three hours later and it's still on. I get that donations must be through the floor for anything except NHS related charities at the moment so others are keen to remind everyone they still exist, but having three different begs for money in a 10 minute ad break when you just want to watch decade old sitcoms from another world is surely just going to induce empathy fatigue. It is in me anyway (apart from for the sad cats).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ersatz99 on May 16, 2020, 02:17:35 PM
Michael McIntyre ads at every break. Condensed version: him mincing rapidly acroos the stage squealing at the top of his voice.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on May 17, 2020, 11:42:52 AM
Nationwide's new one again with wretched spoken word sewage, all the great times during lockdown.  This virus is a God send to advertisers%uFF0Cthe adverts literally write themselves, any old fucker speaking into a webcam or phone, they could be talking about genital mutilation and I don't think anyone would pay attention.

That one's awful. One of the worst. I hate the way that we're being pre-loaded our memories of what all this was like - and not even by a hive mind of Facebook posts - it's corporate entities that are doing it. I imagine that there's some plan to use them in years to come to get us to buy stuff like when Russian assassins are triggered by hearing a certain piece of classical music played followed by a specific phrase.

The fact that almost every ad is virus-related, suspiciously competent Steven Bochco-style mobile video (albeit filmed in portrait to keep the illusion that a prole has submitted it) made me really happy to watch the Barclays ad about fraud where two men in gorilla suits get up to japes.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 17, 2020, 12:22:35 PM
I imagine that there's some plan to use them in years to come to get us to buy stuff like when Russian assassins are triggered by hearing a certain piece of classical music played followed by a specific phrase.

This is why I hope it backfires spectacularly as Nationwide and anyone else who's gone big on lockdown advertising come to be intrinsically associated with this shitty time that everyone would much rather forget, so when it's all over they haemorrhage business.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on May 17, 2020, 12:31:04 PM
Like Jess glynne and Jet2...insipid association now.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on May 24, 2020, 07:14:35 PM
The end of Lockdown KFC ad's quite instructive. It shows various attempts by Joe Cunt to make a homemade KFC, then says "We'll take it from here". But the money shot hardly focuses on the real KFC food. Instead it gives more focus to the container it comes in.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on May 24, 2020, 07:26:47 PM
The end of Lockdown KFC ad's quite instructive. It shows various attempts by Joe Cunt to make a homemade KFC, then says "We'll take it from here". But the money shot hardly focuses on the real KFC food. Instead it gives more focus to the container it comes in.

I actually got a craving for chicken burgers during this lockdown and took it upon myself to do some. I was surprised at how fucking easy it was and how well they came out having not done it before.

Hammer some thighs flat, mix in seasoning and flower, dip in egg then bread crumbs and fry in about 1cm of oil for ~4mins a side.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on May 24, 2020, 07:28:36 PM
I actually got a craving for chicken burgers during this lockdown and took it upon myself to do some. I was surprised at how fucking easy it was and how well they came out having not done it before.

Hammer some thighs flat, mix in seasoning and flower, dip in egg then bread crumbs and fry in about 1cm of oil for ~4mins a side.

But..but..what about the secret recipe?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on May 24, 2020, 07:31:03 PM
But..but..what about the secret recipe?

I left some mayonnaise in the sun.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on May 27, 2020, 01:54:50 AM
The Cancer Research advert is an odd one. A woman sits there whilst a doctor says something like, "Well, we've got the results in.....and.....(at which point the patient looks truly terrified).....you don't need anymore treatment." At which point the patient bursts into tears and hugs the doctor.

Now if this is genuine and this was genuinely the first time the patient received her prognosis, weren't Cancer Research taking a huge gamble? What if it had been bad news? Would that have been broadcast? Unless they went through a few patients who were given the worst news before they got to the survivor? Unless it's fake. I hope not, because I feel really happy for the woman.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on May 27, 2020, 06:32:54 AM
The Cancer Research advert is an odd one. A woman sits there whilst a doctor says something like, "Well, we've got the results in.....and.....(at which point the patient looks truly terrified).....you don't need anymore treatment." At which point the patient bursts into tears and hugs the doctor.

Now if this is genuine and this was genuinely the first time the patient received her prognosis, weren't Cancer Research taking a huge gamble? What if it had been bad news? Would that have been broadcast? Unless they went through a few patients who were given the worst news before they got to the survivor? Unless it's fake. I hope not, because I feel really happy for the woman.

I mentioned an earlier one in this thread with a male doctor where the "...and..." lasts a good 20 second gameshow pause before the same "you don't need anymore treatment". Unless the doctor is insane I don't think you'd pause like that IRL so I'm going with fake.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on May 27, 2020, 10:39:36 AM
I mentioned an earlier one in this thread with a male doctor where the "...and..." lasts a good 20 second gameshow pause before the same "you don't need anymore treatment". Unless the doctor is insane I don't think you'd pause like that IRL so I'm going with fake.

are you both the naivest people on the planet? A FUCKING ADVERT USING A REAL LIFE RESULTS DELIVERY???? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Jesus Christ.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on May 27, 2020, 10:44:01 AM
are you both the naivest people on the planet? A FUCKING ADVERT USING A REAL LIFE RESULTS DELIVERY???? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Jesus Christ.

"I'm sorry, but the treatment on your son has failed and he only has a few weeks to live"

(Doctor swivels on chair, giving thumbs up to the camera "Was that ok?")
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on May 27, 2020, 10:56:36 AM
I'm afraid the cancer has spread to your arsehole Mrs Glover. I'm sorry, can I grab your tits?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on May 27, 2020, 01:29:06 PM
This is why I hope it backfires spectacularly as Nationwide and anyone else who's gone big on lockdown advertising come to be intrinsically associated with this shitty time that everyone would much rather forget, so when it's all over they haemorrhage business.
please no all my money is there
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on May 27, 2020, 02:45:07 PM
I know this ad is normally for product ads, but I love one of the ads on Discovery Channel for it's own programme where some Brummie guy is claiming to have found Knights Templar treasure or something.

He claims 'It's the greatest find since Tutankhamun' but he pronounces the last word 'Tooting-kamoon' and it tickles me.

that sounds like a line from a Jasper Carrott set
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on May 27, 2020, 03:56:27 PM
"I'm sorry, but the treatment on your son has failed and he only has a few weeks to live"

(Doctor swivels on chair, giving thumbs up to the camera "Was that ok?")

"I'm sorry, but the treatment on your son has failed and he only has a few weeks to live"

(tarrant pause)

"...until he can go to disneyworld!  Because he's not going to die!"

(tarrant pause)

"...Until later in the year..."

(tarrant pause) 

"...he'll die from shock when he discovers he's got the all clear!!!!!"

(Confetti rains down from ceiling. Crying mother kicks doctor square in the nads.)


Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on May 28, 2020, 10:45:52 PM
please no all my money is there

Move it NOW.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on May 28, 2020, 11:47:25 PM
please no all my money is there

I’m sure they’ll survive the loss of THREE POUNDS lmao

Edit: just realized why your comment made me laugh, reminded me of this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d7hE6MlFzz4
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on June 02, 2020, 10:00:40 PM
But..but..what about the secret recipe?

It's mostly salt.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 07, 2020, 05:23:01 PM
Does anyone else find the ad with NHS workers "thanking" taxi drivers incredibly patronising and misguided? As if they're continuing to work and risk their health out of the goodness of their hearts rather than because they need money to live and are basically self employed thanks to Uber etc.'s notoriously dodgy employment practices so won't be getting furlough money or anything. It's not the NHS staff's fault of course but it does make them look strangely naive.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on June 07, 2020, 06:12:34 PM
For goodness' sake, Shakey Jake.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Rizla on June 11, 2020, 08:48:35 PM
Walking slice of Brighton Johnny Fluffypunk on some Nationwide lockdown pish cuntery ad. Urgh. What a fucking CUNT. Had a look at Johnny Fluffypunk's website there to see if he's real. Yes. He's a real CUNT. Fuck off Johnny. Shilling for the bankers like a right CUNT.

I thought we'd got all that shit slam poetry shite out of the system early 00's. CUNTS.

Edit - bit harsh that maybe, I've been up to my ringpiece in tile adhesive all day and my resistance is very low.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 11, 2020, 10:25:46 PM
Will I ever be able to post here again if I say that I am immensely attracted by the 'bigger boobs... bit of wee' lady from the Tena advert? I mean, that must make me some kind of deviant, right?

I'd blame lockdown horn, but I'd be lying to myself.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ambient Sheep on June 12, 2020, 07:48:45 AM
Nope, you're not the only one.  She's lovely and has an arse (as well as several other things) to die for.  And yeah, Lockdown Horn has nothing to do with it -- she's a regular on Talking Pictures and I spotted her months before all that.

But then, I am some kind of deviant.[1]

For the first time ever in my life I think, a few weeks ago I bothered to Google to find out her name (which hilariously I now can't remember).  Turned out she's actually been in quite a lot of things, was surprised I hadn't noticed her before.

And there endeth my once-every-decade-or-so contribution to the Phwoaaarrr thread, and I'm not even in it.  Bah.

 1. Not the watersports and/or diaper-loving kind, though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 12, 2020, 03:25:32 PM
Walking slice of Brighton Johnny Fluffypunk on some Nationwide lockdown pish cuntery ad. Urgh. What a fucking CUNT. Had a look at Johnny Fluffypunk's website there to see if he's real. Yes. He's a real CUNT. Fuck off Johnny. Shilling for the bankers like a right CUNT.

I thought we'd got all that shit slam poetry shite out of the system early 00's. CUNTS.

Edit - bit harsh that maybe, I've been up to my ringpiece in tile adhesive all day and my resistance is very low.

Fluffypunk? Of the Connecticut Fluffypunks?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 17, 2020, 05:04:37 PM
NSFifyou'vegotthefear.
https://youtu.be/NHRqnluLG6s (https://youtu.be/NHRqnluLG6s)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on June 21, 2020, 02:54:20 AM
THE FEAR
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on June 22, 2020, 02:17:04 PM
Walking slice of Brighton Johnny Fluffypunk on some Nationwide lockdown pish cuntery ad. Urgh. What a fucking CUNT. Had a look at Johnny Fluffypunk's website there to see if he's real. Yes. He's a real CUNT. Fuck off Johnny. Shilling for the bankers like a right CUNT.

I thought we'd got all that shit slam poetry shite out of the system early 00's. CUNTS.

Edit - bit harsh that maybe, I've been up to my ringpiece in tile adhesive all day and my resistance is very low.

I think we're supposed to like Nationwide because it's a building society and it's mutual and it's doing it for the kids and isn't an evil profit-hungry bank. This would be easier if their adverts weren't a compilation of the most hateable people in Britain.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on June 22, 2020, 05:14:40 PM
It's actually impossible to imagine anyone enjoying that spoken word stuff.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 22, 2020, 06:18:23 PM
They're back!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaiELLTSgH8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaiELLTSgH8)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 24, 2020, 09:43:25 PM
Will I ever be able to post here again if I say that I am immensely attracted by the 'bigger boobs... bit of wee' lady from the Tena advert? I mean, that must make me some kind of deviant, right?

I'd blame lockdown horn, but I'd be lying to myself.

She reminds me of Rebecca Hall.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on June 27, 2020, 12:53:09 AM
I was passing and your door was ajar
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: willy crossit on June 27, 2020, 11:19:13 AM
i don't know what it's for (a supermarket presumably), but there's an ad on at the moment with a family cooking at home and the dad goes "yum yum yum yuuuuum" like a rave air horn and it cuts right through me every time
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 27, 2020, 10:41:44 PM
There's one at the moment for some makeup or something that uses hyaluronic acid, and after the voice over says it, some of the women in the ad repeat "hyaluronic" but slowly, like " HY-AH-LUR-ON-IC", as if they're spelling it out as they have great difficulty saying it. I'm not sure what the idea is, as it's either insulting their target audience by assuming they need help with such a long word, or implying the women in the ad are having trouble with it too, or both. It's weird anyway.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 27, 2020, 10:51:32 PM
I have no idea what they are selling but there's an awful advert on heavy rotation at the moment which contains the line 'glitter in our knickers' which fills me with a slight hatred. I wish I knew why.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on June 27, 2020, 10:54:33 PM
I have no idea what they are selling but there's an awful advert on heavy rotation at the moment which contains the line 'glitter in our knickers' which fills me with a slight hatred. I wish I knew why.

Oh my god yes, I bloody hate that one too, and similarly have no idea what they're flogging as I lunge for the mute button as soon as I hear her going on about sweltering tents. Is it an advert for sweltering tents?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on June 28, 2020, 10:37:50 AM
All I could get from 'sweltering tents' and 'glitter in our knickers' was Lesbian Flings... but how can you *sell* that? I mean, if I were a woman, I'd probably be in the market, but... who'd be taking the money?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on July 01, 2020, 01:10:31 PM
Last night halfway through South Park on Comedy Central there was an ad for people who had bought a Mercedes to join a class action lawsuit against Mercedes for lying about emissions. If there's ever an advertised product that the South Park people would hate, surely corralling luxury car owners for ridiculous lawsuits is high up?

Elsewhere on TV. It's not hard to pronounce Galbani. Do you think we all have large penises in our mouths while watching Come Dine With Me?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 01, 2020, 08:59:21 PM

Elsewhere on TV. It's not hard to pronounce Galbani. Do you think we all have large penises in our mouths while watching Come Dine With Me?

It's like Santander all over again, they did that in an ad years ago with apparently functioning adults unable to say another 3 syllable word that's pronounced exactly as it's spelled.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 02, 2020, 03:38:03 PM
It's like Santander all over again, they did that in an ad years ago with apparently functioning adults unable to say another 3 syllable word that's pronounced exactly as it's spelled.

I suppose it's a good way of getting people to say 'San-Tan-Durr' and 'Hy-Al-Ar-On-Ic'.

Speaking of Santander, their latest Cov-spoitation adverts are baffling. Ant and Dec zoom an apparently unsuspecting customer (surely a breach of GDPR, but anyway). They then blather on, before surprising them by connecting them with a long lost friend, someone they are missing due to lockdown.

But... surely, if THEY have a zoom-capable device, and THEIR FRIEND has the same, then why do we need Ant and Dec?

No better, is the Barclays advert with a similar theme - except it's an ordinary member of Barclay's staff who is showing a customer how to join a zoom call... WHILE USING ZOOM.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 02, 2020, 03:39:51 PM
Last night halfway through South Park on Comedy Central there was an ad for people who had bought a Mercedes to join a class action lawsuit against Mercedes for lying about emissions. If there's ever an advertised product that the South Park people would hate, surely corralling luxury car owners for ridiculous lawsuits is high up?

Mercedes Benz themselves have fallen foul of similar, by their un-ironic use of Janice Joplin's anti-consumerist anthem 'Lord Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz' in adverts a few years back.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on July 03, 2020, 02:25:44 AM
Curry's are advertising a laptop that is great for watching films while sitting in bed ... by showing a woman with her clearly plugged-in laptop phoning the Curry's call centre and being told that she obviously needs a laptop with a long-lasting battery.  To sit in bed watching films with a nearby mains socket.  Yes, Curry's.  Of course she does.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on July 03, 2020, 12:29:32 PM
How much money does De Niro need? Not content with flogging cars, he's now selling bagels by referencing assorted mob films from his past. I await his Uber ad, starring an eighty year old Travis Bickle, with bated breath. "You hiring me? You hiring me? Well I'm the only reasonably priced method of transport round here."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on July 03, 2020, 04:20:21 PM
How much money does De Niro need? Not content with flogging cars, he's now selling bagels by referencing assorted mob films from his past. I await his Uber ad, starring an eighty year old Travis Bickle, with bated breath. "You hiring me? You hiring me? Well I'm the only reasonably priced method of transport round here."

Big laugh.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 03, 2020, 08:25:34 PM
How much money does De Niro need? Not content with flogging cars, he's now selling bagels by referencing assorted mob films from his past.

It even references the Bananarama song at the start, and I'd have thought he had it written into his contract that that was never to happen. Has he had an expensive divorce or something?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on July 03, 2020, 10:20:59 PM
It's chewy, not chalky.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ollyboro on July 03, 2020, 11:19:42 PM
It even references the Bananarama song at the start, and I'd have thought he had it written into his contract that that was never to happen. Has he had an expensive divorce or something?

I can only assume it's an old age thing. Despite having tens of thousands of pounds sat in her current account, my 79 year old Finnish mother sits in her mortgage free detached bungalow and goes on and on about having no money, and how because she's got no money she'll end up deported back to Finland. De Niro's a similar age, so no doubt he's shitting himself about being banished to Finland.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: metaltax on July 05, 2020, 07:31:36 PM
Has he had an expensive divorce or something?

Yes. See also: Rowan Atkinson advertising Snickers.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Crunch on July 05, 2020, 10:28:36 PM
It's like Santander all over again, they did that in an ad years ago with apparently functioning adults unable to say another 3 syllable word that's pronounced exactly as it's spelled.

I like to think this kind soul uploaded this clip from ‘People Like Us’ after watching too many bank ads:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbtRUrEaRA0
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on July 06, 2020, 08:34:32 AM
It's weird isn't it. In the 90s it was all "Wow, in Japan they have Hollywood A-listers in their adverts"

Now a mere 20 years later we have Stallone hawking bread and Keitel telling you not to worry about evicting your tenants.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 06, 2020, 08:40:53 AM
Yes. See also: Rowan Atkinson advertising Snickers.

Joan Collins.

Must have started with Loaded culture - the ironic legends such as Brian Blessed.

I also note that nearly every cleaning product is now advertised with a Brian Blessed-sound-a-like booming. That man is the biggest sell out, shilling for Millennials who don't give a fuck about his legacy other than "oooh hee heee haaa haaa, old stuff before we were born but not in a good way"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on July 06, 2020, 09:25:56 AM
His legacy being the man with the Brian Blessed-sound-a-like booming voice?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 06, 2020, 11:44:45 AM
The 'other' booming voice is Peter Dickson, but he's doing an impersonation of someone else (whose name I can't remember).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: the on July 06, 2020, 11:53:28 AM
The 'other' booming voice is Peter Dickson, but he's doing an impersonation of someone else (whose name I can't remember).

Patrick Allen.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on July 06, 2020, 01:21:34 PM
those two posts appearing like that is giving me trouble reading it, because all that happens is a Patrick Allen voice pipes up and goes "and who was it gilbertharding can't remember? REEVES and MORTIMER!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 06, 2020, 02:50:36 PM
I now urge everyone reading this to fire up youtube, do a search for Patrick Allen, and watch at least the top three clips - but especially the trailer for Number 1 of the Secret Service (1977).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on July 06, 2020, 09:29:27 PM
They're repeating that advert for the Financial Conduct Authority, with the poor bloke who's had his life savings stolen by someone who can now spend his days whooping it up on a jetski somewhere hot.

A great advert for scamming, I think. Where do I sign up?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on July 10, 2020, 08:44:04 AM
Awesome screen, awesome camera, long lasting battery life.
Awesome screen, awesome camera, long lasting battery life.
Awesome screen, awesome camera, long lasting battery life.
Awesome screen, awesome camera, long lasting bat- FUCK OFF
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on July 10, 2020, 03:00:14 PM
I now urge everyone reading this to fire up youtube, do a search for Patrick Allen, and watch at least the top three clips - but especially the trailer for Number 1 of the Secret Service (1977).

I *have* to see that film.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on July 10, 2020, 08:18:04 PM
Fucking hell, that Nuii (posh choc ice) advert might be the wankiest thing I've ever seen. I thought it was a pisstake at first.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 10, 2020, 09:07:15 PM
Fucking hell, that Nuii (posh choc ice) advert might be the wankiest thing I've ever seen. I thought it was a pisstake at first.


Ice cream's often a bit OTT, the current Magnum one for some strawberry choc ice is like Eyes Wide Shut.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on July 11, 2020, 11:47:10 AM
Fucking hell, that Nuii (posh choc ice) advert might be the wankiest thing I've ever seen. I thought it was a pisstake at first.

Still makes me want one, though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Poobum on July 14, 2020, 11:59:55 AM
The Viagra advert that uses a twee slowed down version I'm Gonna Be (500 miles). Awful business. Though I am now imagining someone slogging along determinedly for 500 miles to give someone a good seeing too, maybe that's what the song was always about.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on July 16, 2020, 03:43:33 PM
Now there's also a twee slowed down "Born To Be Wild".  Bugger off!!!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on July 17, 2020, 12:52:10 AM
Argh! This evening I heard 500 Miles & Born To Be Wild back to back. Twice.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on July 17, 2020, 09:05:15 AM
I have an app on my phone called Chordbot, which is kind of like the auto-accompaniment feature you get on Casio keyboards, you can change the rhythm and the instrumentation and put chord progressions together.

Anyway.

The arpeggiated piano music on the latest Mazda advert sounds just like the default template you get on Chordbot but they've just changed the chords a little bit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 17, 2020, 10:38:29 AM
The Haven holidays one boils my piss more and more every time I see it because of how empty the beach is. That's not just because of the recent Bournemouth beach pictures, it's a fucking massive sandy beach right next to a caravan park on a nice day. What, are all those other people dutifully staying in their caravans so your brat can run freely across a virtually deserted beach? Reminds me of this;
https://www.boredpanda.com/travel-expectations-vs-reality/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic (https://www.boredpanda.com/travel-expectations-vs-reality/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on July 17, 2020, 11:13:51 AM
Now there's also a twee slowed down "Born To Be Wild".  Bugger off!!!!

When that Bjork superfan Ricardo Lopez shot himself in the melon, he had Bjork playing in the background.  If these ad execs did the same I'd bet they would do it to some twee cover as they huffed and puffed into the death rattle. Hanging from a fan and going stiff, as a twee cover of Motorhead's Ace of Spades trickles out their Amazon Alexa.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on July 17, 2020, 12:36:50 PM
What, are all those other people dutifully staying in their caravans so your brat can run freely across a virtually deserted beach?

I like to think all those other people are average level savvy and know how that pans out (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGcpcm8QId4)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on July 17, 2020, 05:37:54 PM
Man in launderette starts playing his guitar and a bunch of cunts seem to think it's great instead.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on July 17, 2020, 08:02:05 PM
Ah I'd forgotten that ad existed. Imagine the amount of self-satisfaction those people would have got all over the place. You'd never get rid of it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dex Sawash on July 18, 2020, 09:40:25 PM
Burger King has a cow fart ad campaign complete with a cow fart country music video

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-country/mason-ramsey-cow-farts-burger-king-commercial-1028559/
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on July 20, 2020, 02:44:59 PM
That Mr Kipling advert - the one in which a young lad tries to steal a cake from some teddy boy, who looks like he clobbers pensioners for less. I assume the party they're attending is to celebrate someone being paroled on a technicality.

The ending is supposed to be all uplifting, but it misses the mark by a mile.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on July 20, 2020, 02:55:22 PM
The lad from the old Hovis advert riding down the cobbles as the last stretch of the Tour De France reaches its climax and he gets in the way of the yellow jersey, derailing the entire pelaton and causing a dozen fatalities and crowd decimation a la the Le man tragedy. The kid is a pariah the world over and is found dead of an overdose outside the Viper Room in Los Angeles.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on July 20, 2020, 03:43:40 PM
That Mr Kipling advert - the one in which a young lad tries to steal a cake from some teddy boy, who looks like he clobbers pensioners for less. I assume the party they're attending is to celebrate someone being paroled on a technicality.

The ending is supposed to be all uplifting, but it misses the mark by a mile.

It's all very bleak,no context is given as to why the sister didn't go (homework?), he is a thief who doesn't even get it right and steal one for himself, and his sister doesn't even say thank you.  Horrible family.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on July 20, 2020, 04:40:07 PM
It's all very bleak,no context is given as to why the sister didn't go (homework?)
Probably had a blazing row with her mum, possibly over the subject of getting a tattoo. The mum put her foot down, but the young girl just refuses to get one.

Meanwhile, the doctors say there is no physical reason why the brother isn't speaking and police are seeking the teddyboy for questioning after seven dogs were found chained up in a storage shed.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 20, 2020, 05:00:06 PM
It's all very bleak,no context is given as to why the sister didn't go (homework?), he is a thief who doesn't even get it right and steal one for himself, and his sister doesn't even say thank you.  Horrible family.

And don't forget how she snaps "Get OUT!!" at him when he first goes into her room. Hope he secretly wiped the cake on his bum before he gave it to her. When he's older he's going to end up snapping one day and murder the entire family by stuffing Mr. Kipling products down their throats until they choke.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: RFT on July 22, 2020, 11:30:25 AM
It's weird isn't it. In the 90s it was all "Wow, in Japan they have Hollywood A-listers in their adverts"

Now a mere 20 years later we have Stallone hawking bread and Keitel telling you not to worry about evicting your tenants.

I forget where I saw this theory, but the reason I read is basically youtube- in Ye olde days, you could do your Japanese adverts and pocket the cash safe in the knowledge that no-one in the west would see it, outside of occasional stuff like Clive James shows, etc. Once Youtube became a thing, that barrier's gone, so if you want to take the money for ads, you might as well stay at home and do it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 22, 2020, 01:31:29 PM
I forget where I saw this theory, but the reason I read is basically youtube- in Ye olde days, you could do your Japanese adverts and pocket the cash safe in the knowledge that no-one in the west would see it, outside of occasional stuff like Clive James shows, etc. Once Youtube became a thing, that barrier's gone, so if you want to take the money for ads, you might as well stay at home and do it.

Also Hollywood stars used to try and maintain a kind of 'cool mystique', but now it's possible to Google every dirty little secret about them (whether it's true or not) and their every move is splashed across gossip sites practically before they've even made it, doing ads is one of the less embarrassing things they can be seen doing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on July 22, 2020, 01:42:28 PM
I can only assume it's an old age thing. Despite having tens of thousands of pounds sat in her current account, my 79 year old Finnish mother sits in her mortgage free detached bungalow and goes on and on about having no money, and how because she's got no money she'll end up deported back to Finland. De Niro's a similar age, so no doubt he's shitting himself about being banished to Finland.

My couple friends who have 150k in the bank between them but get their friends to give them passwords for Netflix/Amazon and don't have data on their phone accounts because they don't want to spend the money. Sure they get it from their equally miserly parents, one of whom once sold one of us a metro ticket they were going to throw away anyway, for 50p. I think it's also the same kind of mindset as hoarders. Collecting money becomes more important than what you're actually going to do with it.

This advert on American TV never fails to make me cringe/laugh in equal measure.
Horny wife talking about morbidly obese ex-baseball player Frank Thomas: "The Big Hurt? More like the big hunk!"
Horribly cuckolded husband: "Yeah!"

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/wZA8/nugenix-fan-featuring-frank-thomas
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on July 22, 2020, 04:39:41 PM
My couple friends who have 150k in the bank between them but get their friends to give them passwords for Netflix/Amazon and don't have data on their phone accounts because they don't want to spend the money. Sure they get it from their equally miserly parents, one of whom once sold one of us a metro ticket they were going to throw away anyway, for 50p. I think it's also the same kind of mindset as hoarders. Collecting money becomes more important than what you're actually going to do with it.

When I was at school I had a friend who's parents were extremely wealthy. They came from money anyway and they now ran a chain of jewellers, and one year for my birthday my friend gave me a puzzle ring, which was about 7 very narrow interlinked twisted rings which all fit together to make a chunky ring with a knot pattern on. It was lovely but it was also very, very difficult to get back together if it slipped apart, which it did a few times in the first few months I had it. I just couldn't do it so each time I'd given it to my friend who took it to his Dad to fix it. The third time he returned it and said his Dad had said if it happened again he'd have to charge me for fixing it. I presumed he was joking. He wasn't.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on July 24, 2020, 08:44:37 AM
I can't shake this guy on one of those "home-delivery microwave meals for one for the elderly" out of my brain. He's tanned and attempting to give off heavy GILF vibes crossed with elderly Mafioso.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ#t=20s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ#t=20s)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dr beat on July 24, 2020, 10:01:35 AM
Also Hollywood stars used to try and maintain a kind of 'cool mystique', but now it's possible to Google every dirty little secret about them (whether it's true or not) and their every move is splashed across gossip sites practically before they've even made it, doing ads is one of the less embarrassing things they can be seen doing.

There was a discussion which touched on this in either Comedy Chat or the Movies thread, and I think someone made the point that Hollywood actors saw these kinds of ads as much less potentially risky for their career than doing a bad movie, which could have a much longer-term impact on their image and reputation. 

Or, as allegedly in De Niro's case, they might be going through an expensive divorce.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on July 25, 2020, 11:34:55 PM
The wine pouring in the Laithwaites wine advert on Food Network sounds like a guy pissing into a toilet bowl. It's absolutely fucking rank.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on July 26, 2020, 01:09:50 AM
DECLAN,

DECLAN,

DECLAN FUCKING SWAN https://youtu.be/NLX-GBIK4aU?t=275
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on July 26, 2020, 01:11:47 AM
I enjoyed the claimants' names in this young lad's parody video  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UuDDq7CvwE)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on July 26, 2020, 01:46:33 AM
Big big loader
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on July 26, 2020, 05:52:15 AM
I enjoyed the claimants' names in this young lad's parody video  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UuDDq7CvwE)

I liked the inelegant fall of the second claimant in the reconstruction.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on July 26, 2020, 01:55:59 PM
There's a sequel on the channel which is both transphobic and ableist, but does have some good electrocution acting.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on July 26, 2020, 08:49:00 PM
I'm getting really fed up with all the Honey adverts on Youtube. They are just obnoxious.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on August 03, 2020, 10:42:02 AM
There was a discussion which touched on this in either Comedy Chat or the Movies thread, and I think someone made the point that Hollywood actors saw these kinds of ads as much less potentially risky for their career than doing a bad movie, which could have a much longer-term impact on their image and reputation. 

Or, as allegedly in De Niro's case, they might be going through an expensive divorce.

I think based on his recent output De Niro's more worried that doing a good movie will damage his reputation.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on August 03, 2020, 02:09:33 PM
Lazy company somehow manages to get publicity by putting M*** F*** in its adverts. (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/aug/03/vegan-food-company-provokes-advertising-campaign-meatless-farm-coronavirus) Presumably only because it's The Guardian and vegans though. F***'s S***.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: beanheadmcginty on August 04, 2020, 08:08:10 PM
BBC News - Audi drops 'insensitive' girl with banana ad
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-53648638

Do these complainers imagine that Audi have done market research and concluded that their core customer demographic is nonces?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 04, 2020, 11:21:13 PM
I know ads can get away with being unrealistic as long as it's obvious they're not trying to imply anything false (a few years back there was a car ad where the car turned into a dancing transformer, but I don't think they would have been too many disappointed purchasers sending it back when they realised it couldn't really do that) but Just Eat are cutting it a bit fine in the Snoop Dogg ad where they suggest you can get food delivered to your private jet by hang glider. Unless you can of course, in which case I stand corrected.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 05, 2020, 08:32:19 AM
There are a couple of adverts at the moment I find a bit odd:

There's the one for telly. You know the one. Showing on all channels. It's not an advert for televisions. It's an advert for television. Lots of stirring music, and clips of memorable moments which happen to have been on television. A cake fell over. Two men danced together on that show. Some news happened. Blah blah blah.

Well, guess what, BBC ITV Channel 4 and Channel 5 (!): I've already bought television. I am at home virtually 24/7, doing very little but consuming television. I cannot buy anymore of your television.



Then there's one which is even more baffling, both on a conceptual level, and on a similar meta-level to the TV advert.

It's the one with the tooth fairy, which you have to concentrate quite hard on to know what it's an advert for. Of course, it's to persuade people to spend money advertising their businesses (eg, if they are tooth fairies) on television.

But - there's no number to ring at the end. How do I get in touch with these people (whoever they are) to give them money to promote my business? And then there's the question - how many of their potential customers do they think are watching television, in a position to decide whether or not to spend money on advertising? Surely they need a more targeted promotion - they could surely address these people more directly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on August 05, 2020, 08:42:41 AM
Those adverts are probably to fill time so they don't end up with shorter ad breaks and programmes not running long enough. Times are hard in the TV advertising game!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on August 05, 2020, 09:23:11 AM
There are a couple of adverts at the moment I find a bit odd:

There's the one for telly. You know the one. Showing on all channels. It's not an advert for televisions. It's an advert for television.
The first time I saw that as I thought it was for BritBox, so I was a bit stumped when the channel logos appeared at the end. Are the terrestrial channels starting to feel the heat from Sky subscriptions?

Also, with the little programme clips, what notable bits of Channel 5 output are they showing? Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords? Can't Pay We'll Take It Away? Benefits By The Sea? Hitler's Megastructures?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on August 05, 2020, 09:26:18 AM
There are a couple of adverts at the moment I find a bit odd:

There's the one for telly. You know the one. Showing on all channels. It's not an advert for televisions. It's an advert for television. Lots of stirring music, and clips of memorable moments which happen to have been on television. A cake fell over. Two men danced together on that show. Some news happened. Blah blah blah.

Well, guess what, BBC ITV Channel 4 and Channel 5 (!): I've already bought television. I am at home virtually 24/7, doing very little but consuming television. I cannot buy anymore of your television.



Then there's one which is even more baffling, both on a conceptual level, and on a similar meta-level to the TV advert.

It's the one with the tooth fairy, which you have to concentrate quite hard on to know what it's an advert for. Of course, it's to persuade people to spend money advertising their businesses (eg, if they are tooth fairies) on television.

But - there's no number to ring at the end. How do I get in touch with these people (whoever they are) to give them money to promote my business? And then there's the question - how many of their potential customers do they think are watching television, in a position to decide whether or not to spend money on advertising? Surely they need a more targeted promotion - they could surely address these people more directly.

Unfortunately, that ad always reminds me of the sketch from The Armando Iannucci Shows where a couple knock the shit out of each other to extract money from the tooth fairy.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 05, 2020, 09:52:10 AM
The first time I saw that as I thought it was for BritBox, so I was a bit stumped when the channel logos appeared at the end. Are the terrestrial channels starting to feel the heat from Sky subscriptions?


I know there have been adverts for tv before. Freeview have made a few (the only one I can remember is the David Brent Free Love on the Free Love Highway one), and there was the one with the Jack Russell dog selling advertising space. Adam Buxton did one ages ago with an awful twee song on it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on August 05, 2020, 12:02:48 PM
The first time I saw that as I thought it was for BritBox, so I was a bit stumped when the channel logos appeared at the end. Are the terrestrial channels starting to feel the heat from Sky subscriptions?

Linear tv is losing to vod. So they're probably feeling the heat from things like Now TV, Prime, Netters, etc. Dunno why the fuck people would have Sky these days unless they watch live sport.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on August 07, 2020, 09:03:41 PM
Love these adverts for the HiHi phone system. Looks like an Amatrad emailer.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on August 07, 2020, 09:20:42 PM
Love these adverts for the HiHi phone system. Looks like an Amatrad emailer.

Yes what is that piece of shit and why wouldn't they just use the smartphone they already have?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on August 07, 2020, 09:37:57 PM
Yes what is that piece of shit and why wouldn't they just use the smartphone they already have?
I work in the public sector and I have a fucking work smartphone.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on August 08, 2020, 12:22:16 AM
I work in the public sector and I have a fucking work smartphone.

I have a work phone and it’s complete shit, but incredibly hardy for tethering for some mad reason.

I’m using it to post this on my iPad, while downloading podcasts on my phone, while powering my work laptop and sending emails. Is this usual? If this is actually impressive (I’m not very tech literate) then I urge you to go and buy the Samsung something or other.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on August 12, 2020, 01:27:02 PM
"It's what we do."

Just fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on August 17, 2020, 11:15:30 AM
Two adverts doing the rounds at the moment that are pissing me right off because of their shitty soundtrack. The first is for Samsung Tab, where the smug cunt creates a PowerPoint presentation and his colleagues all go "good job" thumbs up and the music kicks into some sub-Two Door Cinema Club shite when he's playing his Xbox on his tab, the smug cunt. Fucking dire. Ooh look at me twizzle my stylus and flick it into the hole in my Tab. Cunt.

Second is for the Ford Puma, wiggly lined skateboard park, clapping women singing "Hey. Heyyyyy Heyayay" and then King Crimson's 21st Century Schizoid Man is spliced onto the end with all the subtlety of a steel tipped toecap to the upper lip. Also fucking dire.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on August 17, 2020, 01:50:17 PM
There's an ad that ends with a bloke in a tuxedo playing a Theremin. But he isn't playing a Theremin properly, he's just waving his arms around in its general vicinity like a twat. Proper fucks me off, that one. Like Ronnie Barker's acoustic guitar miming; hand all up and down the neck whilst one chord is playing.

DO. YOUR. RESEARCH.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Hand Solo on August 17, 2020, 01:53:51 PM
Two adverts doing the rounds at the moment that are pissing me right off because of their shitty soundtrack. The first is for Samsung Tab, where the smug cunt creates a PowerPoint presentation and his colleagues all go "good job" thumbs up and the music kicks into some sub-Two Door Cinema Club shite when he's playing his Xbox on his tab, the smug cunt. Fucking dire. Ooh look at me twizzle my stylus and flick it into the hole in my Tab. Cunt.

Second is for the Ford Puma, wiggly lined skateboard park, clapping women singing "Hey. Heyyyyy Heyayay" and then King Crimson's 21st Century Schizoid Man is spliced onto the end with all the subtlety of a steel tipped toecap to the upper lip. Also fucking dire.

I am enjoying your anger. Yeah I saw that advert last night and it even cuts before the riff kicks in, for fuck's sake, what's the point?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on August 17, 2020, 01:55:20 PM
Yes, that Ford one is particularly nasty. I thought they were going to ban adverts for these stupid oversized cars?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 17, 2020, 02:29:14 PM
Yes, that Ford one is particularly nasty. I thought they were going to ban adverts for these stupid oversized cars?

I think the Puma is a hybrid or electric - for people who have been convinced there is any such thing as an environmentally friendly new car.

There was another advert which used that King Crimson track a few years back... can't remember what it was for..
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on August 17, 2020, 02:30:56 PM
There's an ad that ends with a bloke in a tuxedo playing a Theremin. But he isn't playing a Theremin properly, he's just waving his arms around in its general vicinity like a twat. Proper fucks me off, that one. Like Ronnie Barker's acoustic guitar miming; hand all up and down the neck whilst one chord is playing.

DO. YOUR. RESEARCH.

"You can... whatever that is..."

It's a theremin.

Same advert has a guy sliding across the floor power-chording a telecaster. Makes me want to murder.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on August 17, 2020, 02:40:14 PM
I think the Puma is a hybrid or electric - for people who have been convinced there is any such thing as an environmentally friendly new car.

Oh, I get it now, the car can't decide if it's a piece of shit... or a piece of shit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 17, 2020, 06:02:00 PM
Surprises me how many ads still rely on you actually looking at the screen to know what the product is, as if everyone doesn't just look at their phone during ad breaks.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on August 21, 2020, 10:51:30 PM
How are we STILL doing these slow whispery piano versions of famous pop songs? Surely nobody is remotely impressed by these any more. It’s been going on since, what, 2008?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Hand Solo on August 21, 2020, 11:15:55 PM
How are we STILL doing these slow whispery piano versions of famous pop songs? Surely nobody is remotely impressed by these any more. It’s been going on since, what, 2008?

1970, at least. (https://youtu.be/Q8YsLnKZu-E?t=61)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on August 22, 2020, 11:36:47 AM
I've had the fucking Birds Eye singing vegetables song stuck in my head on and off all week. It was briefly replaced by Everyone Love Ned Flanders, but nope singing peas are back.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 23, 2020, 03:42:52 PM
I've had the fucking Birds Eye singing vegetables song stuck in my head on and off all week. It was briefly replaced by Everyone Love Ned Flanders, but nope singing peas are back.

Yeah that's eatwormed me a few times, drives me insane, not least because the whole ad makes me think of Noel Fielding for some reason, which isn't particularly nice for me.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: The Mollusk on August 23, 2020, 04:20:13 PM
Recently I've been thinking a lot about a couple of adverts featuring characters that need absolutely clattering up the side of the face, lights out, get fucked.

Ignoring the subversive edit of this clip that the YouTube user has mingled with stock footage of dairy farming and a man throwing up in a bowl, I hate the kid in this Cheestrings advert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAxyJcOjFE0) with his smarmy "So, it's... just cheese!" remark. AND YOU THINK THAT MAKES IT ACCEPTABLE TO WALK DOWN MY FUCKING CORRIDOR SNACKING ON FATTY GARBAGE LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE DOES IT? *WHACK* That's how the teacher should have responded, instead of just adopting a look of mild intrigue. Take a fucking stand, they're walking all over you. They're all laughing at you when your back is turned. You're writing on the board and trying to hide the tears and they're racking up lines of parmesan and funnelling great gobs of fondue up their arses and there's nothing you can do. You let this happen.

The other one is the 1999 ad for the Mattel game "Wiggly Worms" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-M7bK2zcwo). YOU JUST CAN'T CATCH US. Fucking watch me you gang of shits. MATCH OUR TAILS TO THE CARDS, HEHEHE. The smug arrogance of that one worm is maddening. MATCH OUR TAILS TO THE CARDS, YEAH RIGHT LIKE YOU'D EVER STAND A CHANCE YA FUCKIN DWEEB KID, HEHEHE. I want to bite the heads off every single plastic worm on that game and obliterate the mechanism that gives them such frustratingly minimal yet nauseatingly audacious animation. The song is unbearably obnoxious and repetitive as well, considering the whole thing is 11 seconds long. I can picture the scene now, my partner gets back in 3 weeks time and the song is playing on repeat at full volume. I have drawn smiley faces on all my fingertips and bitten them all off. The severed tips are impaled on cocktail sticks, stuck into the backrest of the sofa. All I can say from now until forever is HEHEHE.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on August 23, 2020, 05:35:34 PM
An ad that amuses me at the moment is one for a car and the song starts with "And I love you so..." but the sound is so very wobbly, in the style of Reg Nullify in The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe (I'm thinking specifically the radio version as he's been rendered slightly differently in the various versions but the radio version is the one I've listened to most).

Oh, and I like the singing peas.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 24, 2020, 11:15:37 PM
The bloody melodramaticness of some ads is getting ridiculous. There's one I've seen a few times recently which I've just muted or zoned out from as soon as it starts as it's all soaring emotive music, slo-mo and something about defending being a stay at home dad and other heart string tugging things, and I've only just now seen that it's for bloody Colgate toothpaste. What?!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 25, 2020, 12:44:17 AM
The gambling "If the fun stops, stop" slogan really is appalling. If you applied it to any other addiction it'd be absurdly reductive; "If you're an alcoholic, just stop drinking", "If you're really starting to need that Crack, just don't have any more" (although granted Crack isn't currently being advertised). But the gambling industry has done it's bit, it's told you to just stop if it's getting to be a problem, despite the fact that like any addiction by the time it isn't "fun" it's almost definitely already too late to just stop.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Leon-C on August 25, 2020, 04:28:33 AM
The gambling "If the fun stops, stop" slogan really is appalling. If you applied it to any other addiction it'd be absurdly reductive; "If you're an alcoholic, just stop drinking", "If you're really starting to need that Crack, just don't have any more" (although granted Crack isn't currently being advertised). But the gambling industry has done it's bit, it's told you to just stop if it's getting to be a problem, despite the fact that like any addiction by the time it isn't "fun" it's almost definitely already too late to just stop.

A slogan cooked up by the gambling companies themselves, mind. Not a chance they'd actually want something remotely effective. Note that they also make the word 'FUN' fucking massive in the typing - the way they present these sorts of faux-benevolent slogans veers close to outright pisstaking at times. That Ray Winstone one where he says "oh, and please gamble responsibly" with a big sneer comes to mind as well.

I also find it horrendous seeing gambling companies focusing adverts on stuff like limits and controls (happening more of late, or at least it seems to me). Targeting adverts for gambling specifically to problem gamblers, and then having the cheek to present this as some morally upstanding and generous thing to do.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on August 26, 2020, 07:16:09 PM
The gambling "If the fun stops, stop" slogan really is appalling. If you applied it to any other addiction it'd be absurdly reductive; "If you're an alcoholic, just stop drinking", "If you're really starting to need that Crack, just don't have any more" (although granted Crack isn't currently being advertised). But the gambling industry has done it's bit, it's told you to just stop if it's getting to be a problem, despite the fact that like any addiction by the time it isn't "fun" it's almost definitely already too late to just stop.

Strongly agree with this.

I see a lot more online gambling ads on Youtube, I never visit any gambling sites. If I'm not missing something and it is happening more for others, it must be terrible for people addicted to gambling giving watching Youtube is one of the few things to do  at the moment.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on August 27, 2020, 09:28:04 AM


The other one is the 1999 ad for the Mattel game "Wiggly Worms" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-M7bK2zcwo). YOU JUST CAN'T CATCH US. Fucking watch me you gang of shits. MATCH OUR TAILS TO THE CARDS, HEHEHE. The smug arrogance of that one worm is maddening. MATCH OUR TAILS TO THE CARDS, YEAH RIGHT LIKE YOU'D EVER STAND A CHANCE YA FUCKIN DWEEB KID, HEHEHE. I want to bite the heads off every single plastic worm on that game and obliterate the mechanism that gives them such frustratingly minimal yet nauseatingly audacious animation. The song is unbearably obnoxious and repetitive as well, considering the whole thing is 11 seconds long. I can picture the scene now, my partner gets back in 3 weeks time and the song is playing on repeat at full volume. I have drawn smiley faces on all my fingertips and bitten them all off. The severed tips are impaled on cocktail sticks, stuck into the backrest of the sofa. All I can say from now until forever is HEHEHE.
i could have recited that whole advert from memory. What a hunk of shit all round
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on August 27, 2020, 09:39:31 AM
The gambling "If the fun stops, stop" slogan really is appalling. If you applied it to any other addiction it'd be absurdly reductive; "If you're an alcoholic, just stop drinking", "If you're really starting to need that Crack, just don't have any more" (although granted Crack isn't currently being advertised). But the gambling industry has done it's bit, it's told you to just stop if it's getting to be a problem, despite the fact that like any addiction by the time it isn't "fun" it's almost definitely already too late to just stop.

I agree with you but regarding alcohol I think it's even more feeble: "Please drink responsibly". Have to say I can't really think of any booze ads off the top of my head except for that ambling grouse - which has to be aimed at people who have one glass with water on a Saturday night in front of the tele. I have a feeling WKD tempted you to neck as much as possible before being sick in the pedestrianised high street but the ads seems much less aggressive than any gaming ones.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on August 27, 2020, 10:19:48 AM
I agree with you but regarding alcohol I think it's even more feeble: "Please drink responsibly". Have to say I can't really think of any booze ads off the top of my head except for that ambling grouse - which has to be aimed at people who have one glass with water on a Saturday night in front of the tele. I have a feeling WKD tempted you to neck as much as possible before being sick in the pedestrianised high street but the ads seems much less aggressive than any gaming ones.

There seems very little alcohol advertising on TV, the only ones I see regularly are the Fosters sponsorship bumpers on E4, which barely mention alcohol and I would never drink Fosters so I hardly associate them with drink. In contrast, it's bingo all day and generic gambling sites all night. I guess this reflects the fact that people don't need adverts to make them drink, but would never go to an online casino if they weren't bombarded day and night with messages.

Most alcohol adverts seem to be for beer (in part because rules on spirits are very strict, you can only show a single measure so it looks terrible on TV) while a lot of gambling adverts are for the most addictive soul-destroying crap. And while alcohol isn't supposed to be associated with sexiness, success, courage, manliness, drunkenness, wild parties, etc, alcohol adverts tend to portray it as a fun social thing, not something to do if you're alone at 3 in the morning. Sadly the advertising regulators don't seem to have considered restrictions on the quantity of ads, or on showing them at the most desolate hour in the morning.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on August 27, 2020, 10:37:33 AM
The Wiggly Woims song is great, actually. Up there with Fraidy Cats and Baby Born.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on August 27, 2020, 10:41:00 AM
Not quite Baby All Gone level though. She loves cherries from a jar.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: ProvanFan on August 27, 2020, 10:42:18 AM
Fucking want a Tyco Ricochet now don't I
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on August 27, 2020, 11:01:54 AM
I actually miss the time when all you'd see on late night TV were ads for phone chatlines(and Advanced Hair Studio if you were really lucky), I mean okay, most of those were premium line scams but they seem positively harmless compared to the wretched insidiousness of gambling ads.

The one that always used to boil my piss was for an online slots site that featured "The enchanting Pixies Of The Forest", which is guaranteed to make me shout FUUUUCK OOOOOFFFFFFF at the telly.

Now I've had to go and look up the the full Advanced Hair Studio infomercial that used to run constantly on late night ITV, featuring FOX FM'S PERFECT MAN OF THE YEAR, JUSTIN BENTLEY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VjnkbhXnXA

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: The Mollusk on August 27, 2020, 11:19:17 AM
Not quite Baby All Gone level though. She loves cherries from a jar.

Christ I hoped I'd forgotten that advert. The mental image of that plastic clump of cherries has given me a right pang of fear.

aaaAAAAAA FUCK I had to search for it and watch it again fucking hell the way I had it perceived in my head was exactly the same as the advert

wretched

The gambling "If the fun stops, stop" slogan really is appalling.

The most annoying thing to me about that is that it is an awfully constructed sentence that doesn't scan properly at all. Surely it would be more memorable, or at the very least more legible, if it was "Stop when the fun stops"? I don't want to get too conspiratorial, but I think about that slogan a lot, and with the way compulsive online gambling is shamelessly advertised here, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that slogan was deliberately poorly written so it doesn't stick in the mind as easily. The mind of someone addicted to gambling, I mean. Not my mind. It fucking sticks there every time I see it because it is a shit sentence.

The worst gambling advert I've seen recently is one that keeps coming up on my smart TV when watching All4. There's a handful of everyday activities which have been ramped up to look like thrilling gambling experiences, like a food vendor slapping down repeated layers on to a burger while the customer is like "HIT ME, HIT ME". Absolutely grotesque normalisation.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on August 27, 2020, 12:42:02 PM


The worst gambling advert I've seen recently is one that keeps coming up on my smart TV when watching All4. There's a handful of everyday activities which have been ramped up to look like thrilling gambling experiences, like a food vendor slapping down repeated layers on to a burger while the customer is like "HIT ME, HIT ME". Absolutely grotesque normalisation.

They are incredibly strange. A revolving shopping rack is like a roulette wheel? Really?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on August 27, 2020, 01:27:10 PM
Not quite Baby All Gone level though. She loves cherries from a jar.

Ironically cherries are one of the worst things to give small kids because they are such a choking hazard (see also: grapes).

Were there more ads for plastic crap toys in the ‘90s or was I just watching a shitload more telly back then?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on August 27, 2020, 01:59:59 PM
There's far tighter rules on what can be advertised during kid telly hours now, as it was decided that under the age of 8 a child can't tell the difference between an advertisement and an actual TV show.

Kids are idiots!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on August 27, 2020, 02:35:31 PM
If they aren’t choking to death on grapes they are gambling irresponsibly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Hand Solo on August 28, 2020, 03:04:46 PM
HEHEHE

Wiggly Woims are such cunts.

That advert is literally 10 seconds long, so I reckon the voice actors had actually no time to give any form of delivery, they've knocked together this ad on the cheap and you've got 10 seconds to fit all the information in, just do a quick laugh at the end of this line. HEHEHE
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on August 28, 2020, 04:40:32 PM
"Like a G" is in at least two ads at the moment so I presume it was at the cutting edge of slang in about 1988.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on August 28, 2020, 10:29:45 PM
We're not getting out much at the moment - as every advert VO seems to have started for the past six months. So one finds oneself thinking about the little things...

Like the Renault advert with the same-sex couple. Midway through, after they've kissed and before the French one gets married to a bloke, there's a shot of the English one being yelled at by her father in the rain, he's waving a piece of paper. What's going on there? Is he angry she's a lesbian? Angry that his little girl has had her heart broken by a hasbian? Telling her to hold her head up and go to the wedding? Or not to go? It's a bizarre discordant bump in a smooth, efficient montage that tells a story pretty damn well.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Brian Freeze on August 29, 2020, 12:12:10 AM
There's far tighter rules on what can be advertised during kid telly hours now, as it was decided that under the age of 8 a child can't tell the difference between an advertisement and an actual TV show.

Kids are idiots!

Ours are 7 and 5 so have barely seen any adverts for kids toys at all because of these regulations, but now the grown up one can look for shite we suggest they might like on youtube; they've seen more in the last six months than their whole lives. They bloody love em.

They sit up straight, even perch on the edge of the sofa and are more attentive to the ads than most of the programmes either side. I  was going to say that someone knows what they are doing with those adverts, but I havent spent a single penny. Yet.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on September 09, 2020, 10:44:48 PM
Would quite like to kill every person in that Giant Wotsit advert with a fucking hammer.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 14, 2020, 06:56:33 PM
Depressingly generic Twee version of Wonderwall in a quite frankly abysmal, forced emotion fucking car advert. The torture never ends.

Why do they have to always sing in 'that' voice? You know what I mean.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 14, 2020, 06:57:40 PM
Strongbow advert. Filmed before covid. Hope they all got terminal covid. Especially that band. Everyone in that advert. Die please.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Rizla on September 14, 2020, 07:16:03 PM
The amount of gambling advertising you see, not just on tv but everywhere, is properly fucked up. I was listening to the WSC podcast earlier and they were talking about how they decided to bin all that from the publication-good on em. I notice too that of the clubs in the SPFL this season, only Motherwell, Rangers and Celtic still have bookie shirt sponsors, seems like a few years ago it was pretty much every team in the league.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on September 14, 2020, 08:03:55 PM
Good lord. O2 have taken that twee 'You & Me Song' by The Wannadies and made it even twee-er! How is that possible??
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 14, 2020, 08:18:44 PM
Good lord. O2 have taken that twee 'You & Me Song' by The Wannadies and made it even twee-er! How is that possible??

Yeah this can go away forever as well.

That car advert with the beard guy earnestly lip syncing to some upbeat but fucking boring song as he drives off out of a car park. Desperate to be one of those viral type things. "Did you see that car ad with the guy driving the car and miming the song? Geeeeeeeenius!" I thought that sort of behaviour had long gone. Can I not just get through my Tour de France highlights in peace please?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on September 14, 2020, 09:01:36 PM
Lallana injured in the first half on his Brighton debut...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on September 16, 2020, 07:20:18 PM
YouTube Premium advert might be the most unintentionally ironic video by using this pure sewage tune of people going "ohaooooo ooh oh whoooo ahh" to advertise advert free videos and they've fucking tempted me when  hear it three times in a 13 minute video.

Also PayPal advert, sounds like some Mark Ronson style painted by numbers shit he pumps out,with some awful dirge "can we make it better, can we make it different"".

edit:

Quote
The music in the 2020 Paypal advert is a song called Better As One recorded in 2019 by English rock band The Heavy. The song featuring the lyrics “Can we make it better? (Yeah). Can we make it different?” is taken from their studio album 'Sons'
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o_DN1FHDTWE


Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on September 16, 2020, 08:47:38 PM
The new heartwarming Asda advert featuring the lovable care in the community character is a fucking tragedy.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 16, 2020, 09:58:53 PM
The new heartwarming Asda advert featuring the lovable care in the community character is a fucking tragedy.
I only ever watch it in fast forward during advert breaks in the Tour de France but he looks like a cunt.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on September 16, 2020, 10:31:53 PM
Lallana injured in the first half on his Brighton debut...

Did he collide with an advertising hoarding?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on September 16, 2020, 10:34:17 PM
The Coke advert with a zany football fan setting up his house as if he's going to a match like he can't anymore, by sitting there in an Arsenal shirt next to dummies wearing Everton, Spurs and Newcastle shirts. Because that's what you see at a football match, isn't it, fans sitting next to each other in all different teams' shirts. Fuck off.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on September 17, 2020, 01:24:45 AM
The new heartwarming Asda advert featuring the lovable care in the community character is a fucking tragedy.

I've seen it umpteen times and I still can't work out what he says.
"Pocket tap, pocket tap, it's a pocket tap vrriiigghhht nooowww."  Not a Scooby.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 17, 2020, 07:30:19 AM
Strongbow advert. Filmed before covid. Hope they all got terminal covid. Especially that band. Everyone in that advert. Die please.

Agree totally. I mean we were all sick to death of the pretend-home-filmed Covid ads by early May, but this is going too far the other way. The only possible response to the bit where they're all packed like sardines onto a train going to a festival or something is "are you taking the fucking piss?"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 17, 2020, 07:32:42 AM
The new heartwarming Asda advert featuring the lovable care in the community character is a fucking tragedy.

I've seen it umpteen times and I still can't work out what he says.
"Pocket tap, pocket tap, it's a pocket tap vrriiigghhht nooowww."  Not a Scooby.

Note also how there's no footage of inside an Asda as everyone would have to have masks on and that's not a good look on an advert.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 17, 2020, 09:11:21 AM
The advert which, mercifully, turns out to be for B&Q seemingly collected from the most haunted home video clips from what look like they could be actual crime scenes.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on September 17, 2020, 10:23:35 AM
The advert which, mercifully, turns out to be for B&Q seemingly collected from the most haunted home video clips from what look like they could be actual crime scenes.

That advert is horrific.

As you imply, it misses the sentimental tone it's aiming for and lands straight in the middle of sinister.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on September 17, 2020, 11:37:11 AM
I've seen it umpteen times and I still can't work out what he says.
"Pocket tap, pocket tap, it's a pocket tap vrriiigghhht nooowww."  Not a Scooby.

Absolute mumblefuck.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on September 17, 2020, 04:39:39 PM
Strongbow advert. Filmed before covid. Hope they all got terminal covid. Especially that band. Everyone in that advert. Die please.
The Snuts. Mates of Lewis Capaldi which is how their shit landfill indie has been promoted endlessly (at least in Scotland) for about the last 18 months. Fucking terrible. "One of the UK's most exciting new bands" covering Loving Spoonful.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on September 17, 2020, 06:48:25 PM
Of course, adverts used to be much shorter in the 70s...
https://youtu.be/TudE9SC77Do
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on September 17, 2020, 06:55:54 PM
I watched Des over the last couple of nights so have been exposed to ads again after a few weeks of Netflix only viewing.

What's that Ikead ad about? A hare having it large and falling asleep watching hare porn / foxy boxing which then pans to a tortoise getting up out of his bed next door and going out to run a marathon.

I mean, it could make sense for some product maybe but the only thing apart from the Ikea logo and slogan at the end is the price of a duvet set flashed onto the screen when the tortoise gets up for a piss (probably).

Last cut is to the hare twitching his ears about to get up - is this part of a series that make a story but ITV are only showing me the same one over and over (I watch catchup)?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 18, 2020, 06:00:14 AM
ITV is just shit. The only thing I watch is the TdF review on ITV4. Fast forward through the same adverts every day: Dolce & Gabbana, ASDA weirdo, IKEA hare, transman in Starbucks, Join the navy - forever.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on September 18, 2020, 09:38:54 AM
ITV obvs thought they would chance their arm in getting me to enlist based on the fact that I can fix a bike. Haven't been shown it for ages but it was relentless for a time.

Have to say it was the most alluring of the forces recruitment campaigns with undertones of the classic Natwest "it's not all work work work" ad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 18, 2020, 08:59:19 PM
I've just never understood marketing.
"Oh, you like watching professional cycling? Here you go: an advert for IKEA."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 18, 2020, 08:59:40 PM
ITV is just shit. The only thing I watch is the TdF review on ITV4. Fast forward through the same adverts every day: Dolce & Gabbana, ASDA weirdo, IKEA hare, transman in Starbucks, Join the navy - forever.

It's been the best Tour for years. Going to be gutted when it's over. I only get to see the highlights which sucks, wish they'd repeat the whole stages. Could watch Hirschi downhill at massive speed all day.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 18, 2020, 09:00:26 PM
The Snuts. Mates of Lewis Capaldi which is how their shit landfill indie has been promoted endlessly (at least in Scotland) for about the last 18 months. Fucking terrible. "One of the UK's most exciting new bands" covering Loving Spoonful.

Fucking explains everything. The Snuts? What kind of abysmal name is that?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 18, 2020, 09:43:42 PM
It's been the best Tour for years. Going to be gutted when it's over. I only get to see the highlights which sucks, wish they'd repeat the whole stages. Could watch Hirschi downhill at massive speed all day.
Yeah, same here. Loved it. So many riders with personality, even if Jumbo Visma have been a bit Sky stranglehold at times.
I particularly like Pogacar.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 18, 2020, 09:59:25 PM
Yeah, same here. Loved it. So many riders with personality, even if Jumbo Visma have been a bit Sky stranglehold at times.
I particularly like Pogacar.

Yeah some seriously brilliant talent and characters, a lot of mutual respect and decent sportsmanship which is just heartwarming. The queen stage though, how brutal were those climbs.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on September 18, 2020, 10:04:34 PM
Agree with above comments regarding TdF.

Eurosport seem to have lost the endless Visit Israel ads.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 18, 2020, 10:16:22 PM
I'm relatively new to CaB, but I expected a TdF thread. Will start one next year.

Back on topic: who's that Hey Car cunt?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 18, 2020, 10:16:54 PM
No TdF thread on CaB? Guess it's a bit late now. Been a classic tour though
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 18, 2020, 10:18:42 PM
I'm relatively new to CaB, but I expected a TdF thread. Will start one next year.

Back on topic: who's that Hey Car cunt?

I mentioned this one upthread. Every time it comes on I want to punch the TV and then punch myself into unconsciousness. It's trying so hard to be like that old ad where the Moby looking motherfucker is wearing a blazer and stripper heels and dancing down the street.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 19, 2020, 08:22:34 AM
ITV obvs thought they would chance their arm in getting me to enlist based on the fact that I can fix a bike. Haven't been shown it for ages but it was relentless for a time.

Have to say it was the most alluring of the forces recruitment campaigns with undertones of the classic Natwest "it's not all work work work" ad.

The 2 Navy recruitment ones on heavy rotation at the moment ("I was born in Blyth" and the submarine classified one) make it look like joining the Navy is one massive party of travelling the world with your mates playing football and dancing. At least the Army ones are a bit more realistic, with the unfortunate recruit trudging across some desolate wasteland carrying heavy gear and hallucinating about home.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on September 19, 2020, 08:49:16 AM
The 2 Navy recruitment ones on heavy rotation at the moment ("I was born in Blyth" and the submarine classified one) make it look like joining the Navy is one massive party of travelling the world with your mates playing football and dancing. At least the Army ones are a bit more realistic, with the unfortunate recruit trudging across some desolate wasteland carrying heavy gear and hallucinating about home.

Those recruitment ads, all the people in them are from the north of England. Blyth, Carlisle....never Slough or Tilbury.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on September 19, 2020, 11:09:24 AM
Those recruitment ads, all the people in them are from the north of England. Blyth, Carlisle....never Slough or Tilbury.

It's because there's an endless supply of Geordies and Geordie soundalikes from those grim towns desperate to see the world and accidentally kill a hooker in Manilla for having a willy. 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on September 19, 2020, 11:20:20 AM
The 2 Navy recruitment ones on heavy rotation at the moment ("I was born in Blyth" and the submarine classified one) make it look like joining the Navy is one massive party of travelling the world with your mates playing football and dancing. At least the Army ones are a bit more realistic, with the unfortunate recruit trudging across some desolate wasteland carrying heavy gear and hallucinating about home.

What does the Navy actually do these days though? There aren't big naval battles any more are there? I suppose ours might have to bully some foreign fishing boats from next year.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on September 19, 2020, 11:22:34 AM
They MUCK ABOUT.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Dr Syntax Head on September 19, 2020, 12:57:34 PM
There's that new 'woke' recruitment ad with the voiceovers from makeup and tampon ads over images of a woman going full soldier. The point being against female stereotypes or some such. I dunno anymore about anything. Women can do stuff men can do? I really never thought about that before. I also didn't realise that women who do man stuff no longer need tampons or enjoy cosmetics.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 19, 2020, 04:05:00 PM
Every forces recruitment advert seems like it's targetting people who are already in the army.

99.9% need not apply. Alright then, I won't.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on September 20, 2020, 12:53:04 AM
Le Tour - FUUUUUUCKKKKK!!!!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 20, 2020, 07:42:39 AM
Le Tour - FUUUUUUCKKKKK!!!!!
This is why we needed a thread. What a fucking TT from Pogacar!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on September 20, 2020, 07:43:33 AM
Doumoulin and Van Art watching on with their chins on the floor
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jobotic on September 21, 2020, 03:09:45 PM
My mate had money on Pogacar to win it. Had kissed his stake goodbye and then...

Poor Roglic looked fucked. Didn't watch yesterday's stage, was he okay?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 21, 2020, 03:16:51 PM
Love this image:

(https://cdn.skoda-storyboard.com/2020/09/Tadej-Pogacar-1.jpg)

Did his white jersey get a little mannequin too?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on September 21, 2020, 04:06:27 PM
"All those other places, constantly deadnaming you - but not Starbucks. Starbucks accepts you, no matter what you call yourself, because we don't give a toss about you or your name we're really progressive."

The Snuts... "One of the UK's most exciting new bands" covering Loving Spoonful.
Not even covering it properly. I am certain that he sings "Not town", instead of "Hot town".
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on September 21, 2020, 06:01:19 PM
If I hear that fucker say pocket tap one more time...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on September 28, 2020, 02:30:52 PM
Breathe HA-pee
FE-breeze
La la la-la.


FUCK OFF!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on September 28, 2020, 09:00:49 PM
"All those other places, constantly deadnaming you - but not Starbucks. Starbucks accepts you, no matter what you call yourself, because we don't give a toss about you or your name we're really progressive."

And what else are they going to do when someone walks in and gives them their name, say "James? Nah, sorry, you're clearly more of a Jane."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on September 30, 2020, 03:23:42 PM
Currently clogging up the ad breaks on Classic Corrie and Emmerdale is Parselybox.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ

I am mildly obsessed with the guy at about 20s. His performance as a conflicted soul struggling to name his favourite is De Niro esque.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on September 30, 2020, 03:36:35 PM
Currently clogging up the ad breaks on Classic Corrie and Emmerdale is Parselybox.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ

I am mildly obsessed with the guy at about 20s. His performance as a conflicted soul struggling to name his favourite is De Niro esque.

It must be an ITV3/4 thing, because I've been watching the French Open over the last few days and it's a staple of that too. There's something weirdly grim about those adverts, particularly because they don't seem to be as explicitly aimed at infirm people as some of their competitors.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on September 30, 2020, 03:53:08 PM
It's like how ads for walk-in baths, rather than from their actual target market, have people aged only slightly older than I currently am in them.

Come on, ad agencies. Be more realistic and get Noam Chomsky advertising this stuff!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on September 30, 2020, 04:25:19 PM
And what else are they going to do when someone walks in and gives them their name, say "James? Nah, sorry, you're clearly more of a Jane."
Well they never show the employee's face. I reckon they were giving James the side eye.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on September 30, 2020, 08:48:49 PM
Currently clogging up the ad breaks on Classic Corrie and Emmerdale is Parselybox.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ

I am mildly obsessed with the guy at about 20s. His performance as a conflicted soul struggling to name his favourite is De Niro esque.

I can't shake this guy on one of those "home-delivery microwave meals for one for the elderly" out of my brain. He's tanned and attempting to give off heavy GILF vibes crossed with elderly Mafioso.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ#t=20s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ#t=20s)

We can be mildly obsessed together.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on October 01, 2020, 01:49:15 PM
Quote from: gulftastic
Quote from: gulftastic
Currently clogging up the ad breaks on Classic Corrie and Emmerdale is Parselybox.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ)

I am mildly obsessed with the guy at about 20s. His performance as a conflicted soul struggling to name his favourite is De Niro esque.


Quote from: monkfromhavana
I can't shake this guy on one of those "home-delivery microwave meals for one for the elderly" out of my brain. He's tanned and attempting to give off heavy GILF vibes crossed with elderly Mafioso.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ#t=20s

We can be mildly obsessed together.

I've seen a this advert a few times over the last few days, and the "...no - the lasgne!" guy made me think instantly of this thread.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on October 01, 2020, 01:53:07 PM
Weirdly, among the usual mix of over-50s life insurance and over-50s dating sites and over-50s ready meals this lunchtime on Gold, a Peloton advert.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on October 01, 2020, 02:25:12 PM
The chicken curry's good too!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on October 01, 2020, 04:37:21 PM
Weirdly, among the usual mix of over-50s life insurance and over-50s dating sites and over-50s ready meals this lunchtime on Gold, a Peloton advert.

It's the same deal on ITV4. It's almost as if it's been chucked in there to keep them on their toes.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Aaron500 on October 01, 2020, 10:33:40 PM
Nicole on the Starbuck's ad certainly got lucky - there she was, her transition was being held up by her failure to think of a girl's name (really?), so she thinks, fuck it, traffic lights, open this magazine at random and the name that dominates is mine. And there are three celebrities on that one page called Nicole. Scherzinger, Kidman, and err... Richie? are my guesses.

What if there'd only been men on the page?

"The decision has been made, doctor. My female name will be Trevor."
Why did Heat wait for that issue to do the Brooking photoshoot?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on October 02, 2020, 09:56:30 AM
Well they never show the employee's face. I reckon they were giving James the side eye.

The one and only time I've been asked my name in Starbucks they did the most bizarre spelling imaginable. I literally burst out laughing when I saw it, to this day I don't know how they came up with it unless they have a very pretentious, affected friend with the same name.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on October 02, 2020, 11:33:22 AM
Nicole on the Starbuck's ad certainly got lucky - there she was, her transition was being held up by her failure to think of a girl's name (really?), so she thinks, fuck it, traffic lights, open this magazine at random and the name that dominates is mine. And there are three celebrities on that one page called Nicole. Scherzinger, Kidman, and err... Richie? are my guesses.

What if there'd only been men on the page?

"The decision has been made, doctor. My female name will be Trevor."
Why did Heat wait for that issue to do the Brooking photoshoot?

Hello Starbucks staff, did you hear that every name is a story, my parents chose Gary because it's a strong name, please write it on the cup, that is my story.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on October 02, 2020, 12:48:33 PM
What if there'd only been men on the page?

Or an advert.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on October 02, 2020, 02:09:49 PM
Or an advert.

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on October 02, 2020, 02:25:54 PM
I feel dirty even thinking this, but this campaign does strike me as virtue signalling - in the original sense of the phrase, before it was hijacked by alt right fuckheads: i.e. A big company seeking applause (and, more to the point, money) for showing basic decency.

"Starbucks: we don't discriminate (against paying customers)" Good, you're not blinking well supposed to.

On the other hand, when you've got Chick Fil-A and Papa John openly taking shitty political stances, I suppose Starbucks actually does deserve some credit for making a stand, however half-arsed.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on October 02, 2020, 03:05:02 PM
When something as innocuous as casting a family of black people in an Argos advert can (apparently) make a significant number of people on twitter start saying things like 'go woke go broke', putting a transgender story in an advert could be seen as a bit more than half-arsed.

You're right though. In a sane world...

On the other hand, maybe they've calculated that the gammons are all mourning the demise of Lyons Corner Houses and wouldn't go in a Starbucks anyway.


I don't know about you, but I find the phrase 'go woke go broke' quite good marketing in itself - if I have to choose between two brands, and one has had *this* shit levelled against it, that's the one I'll go for.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: petrilTanaka on October 02, 2020, 05:13:09 PM
When something as innocuous as casting a family of black people in an Argos advert can (apparently) make a significant number of people on twitter start saying things like 'go woke go broke', putting a transgender story in an advert could be seen as a bit more than half-arsed.

on the other hand, all everybody reacting like that does is help promote the brand and product more. and for free. probably saves companies money knowing they can make a queer reference, or have a couple more black lads in the advert and some folk will just wild out and keep promoting you for free

most of the time I get made aware of these campaigns is because of the reactionary fuckheaddery

the main problem is how entrenched needing people to hate it has gotten
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on October 02, 2020, 08:01:04 PM
I always ask for "Zod" in Starbucks. Like to say, "Kneel before Zod," when they serve me my extra warm latte.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on October 02, 2020, 08:03:42 PM
They don't even write the names on the cups anymore FFS.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on October 08, 2020, 01:09:26 PM
"So you can enjoy an even rarer coin".

These TV versions of Viz ads.....who buys them????
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on October 08, 2020, 01:20:16 PM
Whose idea was it to have a woman with a lisp voice an advert for "thekth toyth"? In addition, the cinematographer seemed to think they were shooting an episode of Eastenders.

Put me right off my stroke.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on October 08, 2020, 02:35:41 PM
"So you can enjoy an even rarer coin".

These TV versions of Viz ads.....who buys them????

That's the first ever one-eighth of a sovereign coin you're talking about there!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on October 15, 2020, 12:13:50 PM
The latest Toyota Yaris Hybrid advert with the gymnast cartwheeling down a traffic jam before morphing into a Toyota Yaris Hybrid containing a gymnast homunculus winds me up when the voiceover guy announces "The new TeeYoda Yaris".
Fucksake, you can't even pronounce the name of the product you're advertising correctly!!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on October 15, 2020, 12:18:34 PM
Thanks to the current advert, I now subconsciously associate Maltesers with dog turds.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on October 15, 2020, 01:32:26 PM
Thanks to them using a Toby Young lookalike in their adverts, I now associate TopCashback with dog turds.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on October 15, 2020, 01:59:39 PM
Thanks to the current advert, I now subconsciously associate Maltesers with dog turds.

Is that better or worse than associating them with spunking cocks?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on October 16, 2020, 08:51:12 AM
I've ventured onto Five for the first time in years (is it still called Channel 5?). This is only catchup so ads shown are maybe a bit skewed but the gambling ads seem to have taken a bit of turn towards the responsible. Obvs this is no more than skin deep and there's probably all sorts of marketing trickery in it for brand awareness but the point of the ads is to show what features they have to stop you becoming instantly destitute if you play their games, rather than showing how much fun it is to gamble. Paddypower even give the obligatory FUN/stop tag a decent amount of screen time.

I wonder if in the current situation people have noticeably and consciously stopped spunking their money away on imaginary slot machines so now they need to drag them back in with the equivalent of being a Low-Fat-enjoy-yourself option for a bit of fun (but don't mention it's 80% sugar).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on October 16, 2020, 11:05:37 AM
I've ventured onto Five for the first time in years (is it still called Channel 5?). This is only catchup so ads shown are maybe a bit skewed but the gambling ads seem to have taken a bit of turn towards the responsible. Obvs this is no more than skin deep and there's probably all sorts of marketing trickery in it for brand awareness but the point of the ads is to show what features they have to stop you becoming instantly destitute if you play their games, rather than showing how much fun it is to gamble. Paddypower even give the obligatory FUN/stop tag a decent amount of screen time.

I wonder if in the current situation people have noticeably and consciously stopped spunking their money away on imaginary slot machines so now they need to drag them back in with the equivalent of being a Low-Fat-enjoy-yourself option for a bit of fun (but don't mention it's 80% sugar).

Yes it's basically "Got a gambling problem? Skint? Don't let that stop you, come one, we won't let you spend too much, pwomise, and it's not as if you can reach our limits then go on multiple other sites that we probably own too and do the same thing....wink."

I think I said this before earlier in the thread but the very fact that the emphasis in these ads is on playing safely and not overdoing it suggests that there's a higher proportion of regular gamblers that have what counts as a problem than, for example, regular drinkers or regular eaters of unhealthy food. Booze ads have Please Enjoy Responsibly in little writing at the end but none of them have the main thrust of the ad being how weak the beer is or how expensive the spirits are to stop you from getting too pissed (well OK there are some low-alcohol beer ads but they're not so blatant about trying to stop you ruining your life, I figure they're more for if you're driving). Maybe it's also because gambling issues have been high profile recently but as you say they're still advertising that they exist when it'd be better for anyone with a potential problem not to be reminded of them 20 times a day.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on October 16, 2020, 12:02:50 PM
Thanks to the current advert, I now subconsciously associate Maltesers with dog turds.

i always have done. Cos they're shit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on October 23, 2020, 01:16:00 AM
Pocket tap is back.  After about 3 times I managed to get the subtitles on in time.  Apparently it's "It's the pocket tap for our times."  What does that even mean?  Yes I know in the older Asda Price ads people tapped their pocket, but "for our times"... huh?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on October 24, 2020, 06:07:50 PM
Pocket tap is back.  After about 3 times I managed to get the subtitles on in time.  Apparently it's "It's the pocket tap for our times."  What does that even mean?  Yes I know in the older Asda Price ads people tapped their pocket, but "for our times"... huh?
No more going around tapping random women's bottoms, I guess.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on October 29, 2020, 12:28:05 PM
That gambling add where they say its about getting them to line up came up on Youtube yesterday. Is't it quite worrying that the bloke in the ad is looking at a petrol pump and thinking about gambling? Also, surely you dont' "get" them to line up, it's not like you do anything to affect those type of gambling outlets.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on October 29, 2020, 04:47:37 PM
Pocket tap is back.  After about 3 times I managed to get the subtitles on in time.  Apparently it's "It's the pocket tap for our times."  What does that even mean?  Yes I know in the older Asda Price ads people tapped their pocket, but "for our times"... huh?

I once bought a piece of tat from a market in Sri Lanka because the guy selling it said "I give you good price. I give you ASDA price.", then did the pocket tap.
Well worth 3 quid.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on October 30, 2020, 10:01:59 AM
I once bought a piece of tat from a market in Sri Lanka because the guy selling it said "I give you good price. I give you ASDA price.", then did the pocket tap.
Well worth 3 quid.

Because Colombo is a well known destination for its Asda stores.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on October 30, 2020, 04:09:57 PM
I wonder if in the current situation people have noticeably and consciously stopped spunking their money away on imaginary slot machines so now they need to drag them back in with the equivalent of being a Low-Fat-enjoy-yourself option for a bit of fun (but don't mention it's 80% sugar).
Indeed. Sleazy as fuck, it is. I expect the bean counters at these online dens of vice worked out that it's more profitable to take 5% of people's earnings for years than to bankrupt them in one go.
That gambling add where they say its about getting them to line up came up on Youtube yesterday. Is't it quite worrying that the bloke in the ad is looking at a petrol pump and thinking about gambling? Also, surely you dont' "get" them to line up, it's not like you do anything to affect those type of gambling outlets.
Yep, that ad is particularly terrible. The bloke acting like he's got nerves of steel, when all he's doing is ordering a big sandwich (and you say "Twist", not "Hit me" ffs). And the tone of desperation as the woman says "I'm going to bet it all on black. No, red!"

Also, what's up with the woman looking at the petrol pump bloke? Is she meant to be admiring him?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on October 31, 2020, 08:05:35 AM
I'm quite proud of the fact I've never set foot in an Asda in my life.  Not that I have anything against Asda, it's just never happened. The one in Spondon sounds great though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on October 31, 2020, 10:51:11 AM
I think the gambling companies are simply doing all they can to avoid further government regulation and restrictions on advertising, by demonstrating how thoughtful they are. All the companies seemed to do a responsible advert recently, on tv and radio. Probably something led by their lobby group. The funniest example was Sky Bet with Matt Le Tissier and Phil Thompson off Soccer Saturday - they made them do that and sacked them months later.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on November 01, 2020, 09:02:19 PM
Why is the woman on that Captain Morgan rum advert dressed as Thing 1 and/or Thing 2?
(https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/seuss/images/4/4d/38d604baa084bd18baa9c744201fc4b4.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170612184234)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: turnstyle on November 02, 2020, 01:54:51 PM
My kids have been exposed to the advert that continually plays on kiddy TV for a shitting flamingo toy, and now are badgering me about purchasing said shitting flamingo toy for Christmas.

It's a flamingo, sat on a bog, curling out a horrific looking turd.

Is this really what Jesus would have wanted?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on November 02, 2020, 04:59:53 PM
Did not Jesus say "Let the little children come unto me and do not hinder them, that I may give them a shitting flamingo toy"? It's just I Vant To Bite Your Finger for the COVID era, really when you think about it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on November 02, 2020, 05:08:53 PM
Danny and Presuming Ed finally got their prototype made.

"s'orrible, really, but they like that, the little girls."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on November 02, 2020, 07:49:28 PM
My kids have been exposed to the advert that continually plays on kiddy TV for a shitting flamingo toy, and now are badgering me about purchasing said shitting flamingo toy for Christmas.

It's a flamingo, sat on a bog, curling out a horrific looking turd.

Is this really what Jesus would have wanted?

I didn't believe you until I googled 'shitting flamingo toy'...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JarrowMonkey on November 02, 2020, 07:59:46 PM
Because Colombo is a well known destination for its Asda stores.

One more question.....
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on November 02, 2020, 08:26:52 PM
I didn't believe you until I googled 'shitting flamingo toy'...

I'm actually quite impressed by how well it introduces magic sand to a whole new generation. Teaching kids to that it's OK to eat their own shit however...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on November 02, 2020, 11:48:34 PM
There's one of those many life insurance ads doing the rounds on Freeview channels which stood in my mind as particularly odd. In it the spokeswoman for whichever company it is is inexplicably delivering her pitch in some couple's bedroom while they're both still in bed. The guy in it reacts to her presence like he's just the seen the spectre of death hanging over him, it's completely bizarre.

I keep waiting for this one to pop up again but it never seems to, I'd love to know what this was for and who thought it was a good idea.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on November 03, 2020, 08:48:30 AM
Am seeing the Estrella ad a lot. It features a woman dancing gracefully underwater who then starts to drown because of pollution. There are a couple of identical ads but with a different caption before. I know one is "1.Soul".

Always reminds me of the ad agency's version of Mr. Plow that is nothing to do with snow ploughs.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on November 03, 2020, 08:52:48 AM
https://youtu.be/gArU-BAO7Kw?t=15
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on November 03, 2020, 11:24:14 AM
I was thinking that they don't really use poems in adverts anymore. Like the kind of shitty little verses you still get in the birthday cards your Nana sends you (probably). Oh, sure - there's the 'Here's to the...' poems. And there's the Nationwide pErFoRmAnCe PoEtS.

Then I saw the one for Philips Shavers, about "Some days are rugged, but other days are Smooth".

It's brilliant - but I haven't seen it for ages, and it's not on youtube... the last line proves it's definitely poetry, because they rearrange the words in the sentence into an order which only makes sense if you're trying to make something rhyme - like POETRY!

If anyone sees it (I accept I'm cursed never to see it again) could they please try to remember it, and type it out here?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on November 03, 2020, 02:28:03 PM
Then I saw the one for Philips Shavers, about "Some days are rugged, but other days are Smooth".

I'm on a work conference call at the moment so can't check the audio, but is it this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMBRjburN4c

EDIT: Sounds like they rhyme the word "right" with itself three times at the end there. Not impressed.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on November 03, 2020, 03:23:02 PM
No, not that one, I'm afraid. Not seen that one on the telly.

I'll keep watching. Thanks anyway.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Pseudopath on November 03, 2020, 03:32:33 PM
No, not that one, I'm afraid. Not seen that one on the telly.

It's obviously part of the same campaign (possibly the US version). This sounds like it might be the UK version (and the rugged/smooth thing is closer to your description): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn655GBRoKY

"If you're a man who are the uncompromising kind", then this is probably the advert you were hoping you would find.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on November 03, 2020, 04:59:15 PM
YES!

Well done. It's more subtle than it should be - but why did it have to rhyme at all?

Why not go full Birds Eye Singing Vegetables?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on November 04, 2020, 12:36:58 PM
Using Spotify for about half an hour a couple of nights ago, there were three "get ready for Brexit" ads during this time which I think were aimed at business. Did seem a bit pointless repeating the ad so many times to somebody who may not have a business.

Also an ad for one of the playlists Spotify makes for me, I already listen to this playlist so not sure why they needed to tell me twice.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 04, 2020, 01:18:20 PM

Why not go full Birds Eye Singing Vegetables?

While we're on the subject of that, that ads been changed. Previously the second to last line was sung with a big emphasis on the last word (can't remember what it was, possibly "juicyyyyyyyy!") but now it's at the same tone and level all the way through. I don't think anything else has changed so it's as if they just re-recorded the song with that one tiny alteration for some unfathomable reason.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 04, 2020, 01:20:07 PM
I was thinking that they don't really use poems in adverts anymore. Like the kind of shitty little verses you still get in the birthday cards your Nana sends you (probably). Oh, sure - there's the 'Here's to the...' poems. And there's the Nationwide pErFoRmAnCe PoEtS.

Then I saw the one for Philips Shavers, about "Some days are rugged, but other days are Smooth".

It's brilliant - but I haven't seen it for ages, and it's not on youtube... the last line proves it's definitely poetry, because they rearrange the words in the sentence into an order which only makes sense if you're trying to make something rhyme - like POETRY!

If anyone sees it (I accept I'm cursed never to see it again) could they please try to remember it, and type it out here?

It's obviously part of the same campaign (possibly the US version). This sounds like it might be the UK version (and the rugged/smooth thing is closer to your description): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn655GBRoKY

"If you're a man who are the uncompromising kind", then this is probably the advert you were hoping you would find.

Can't listen to it here but is that the one that rhymes "precision" with "today's decision"? Because that stuck out to me as incredibly wrong sounding too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 04, 2020, 02:04:53 PM
There's one of those many life insurance ads doing the rounds on Freeview channels which stood in my mind as particularly odd. In it the spokeswoman for whichever company it is is inexplicably delivering her pitch in some couple's bedroom while they're both still in bed. The guy in it reacts to her presence like he's just the seen the spectre of death hanging over him, it's completely bizarre.

I keep waiting for this one to pop up again but it never seems to, I'd love to know what this was for and who thought it was a good idea.
I've not seen this one, but it's strange the number of life insurance ads around at the moment targeted at men in their 30s or 40s. There's always been those for the elderly, but are Britain's men suddenly worried about death? Has the financial services industry ran out of other things to sell? Is it some sort of collective decision to apply the emotional blackmail? I guess they used to sell a lot of policies to people getting mortgages whose lender required it, so maybe that market's dried up.

While we're on the subject of that, that ads been changed. Previously the second to last line was sung with a big emphasis on the last word (can't remember what it was, possibly "juicyyyyyyyy!") but now it's at the same tone and level all the way through. I don't think anything else has changed so it's as if they just re-recorded the song with that one tiny alteration for some unfathomable reason.
There are two slightly different versions of the ad, one for garden peas specifically (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5eBCYpdnMQ) and the other steam fresh veg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H-RDnSrAgU). Both have the same start but specific lines referencing different plant matter. Excuse me while I go post this in "amazing things you've only just learned".
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 04, 2020, 02:10:03 PM
I've not seen this one, but it's strange the number of life insurance ads around at the moment targeted at men in their 30s or 40s. There's always been those for the elderly, but are Britain's men suddenly worried about death? Has the financial services industry ran out of other things to sell? Is it some sort of collective decision to apply the emotional blackmail? I guess they used to sell a lot of policies to people getting mortgages whose lender required it, so maybe that market's dried up.

Playing on Covid fears? Although whatever they say in the ads you can guarantee there's some way they'll avoid paying out if the virus gets ya.



There are two slightly different versions of the ad, one for garden peas specifically (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5eBCYpdnMQ) and the other steam fresh veg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H-RDnSrAgU). Both have the same start but specific lines referencing different plant matter. Excuse me while I go post this in "amazing things you've only just learned".

Oh, I just wasn't paying enough attention. Quite pleased about that actually.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 04, 2020, 07:45:19 PM
Now the Christmas ads are all appearing it's quite pathetic how they're trying to pretend things are normal and we're all still going to run out and spend a fortune and go to parties etc. They were all falling over themselves to be current by being lockdown themed over the summer, but now they're like "Yeah forget Covid, it's good old Christmas, everything's fine so spend, SPEND!!" 'Fraid not this year. Doing their usual thing of showing huge families gathered around tables together is just going to look deeply distasteful unless/until it's confirmed the restrictions will be eased in a month, and there's no guarantee they will be so they're potentially pushing a party no one's going to have.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on November 05, 2020, 07:02:31 PM
I'm quite proud of the fact I've never set foot in an Asda in my life.  Not that I have anything against Asda, it's just never happened. The one in Spondon sounds great though.
fucking hell i had to go there for petrol and a piss once. Horrified to see it had an actual McDonalds inside.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on November 05, 2020, 09:18:47 PM
fucking hell i had to go there for petrol and a piss once. Horrified to see it had an actual McDonalds inside.

That and Tesco at Beeston are two of the top places my girlfriend goes as part of her job, She's been either furloughed or off sick for most of the year though, so I haven't had any interesting anecdotes about either for quite a while.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 06, 2020, 12:11:48 PM
Amazon appears to have taken Fatima the cyber ballerina as the inspiration for their new ad.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on November 16, 2020, 08:01:28 PM
The new McDonald's advert really annoys me.

A teenage boy can only experience Xmas when he goes through a McDonald's Drive-Thru. That, the animation and the music track just send a bad message.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on November 17, 2020, 09:20:01 AM
The new McDonald's advert really annoys me.

A teenage boy can only experience Xmas when he goes through a McDonald's Drive-Thru. That, the animation and the music track just send a bad message.

I got super annoyed at that one too. And the minute we drop that stupid slowed down, waif-singing set of covers on a piano the better, one day we'll look back and cringe at how impossibly trite and tacky that was in the same way we do with shell suits and Tony Hadley.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 17, 2020, 09:27:33 AM
I got super annoyed at that one too. And the minute we drop that stupid slowed down, waif-singing set of covers on a piano the better, one day we'll look back and cringe at how impossibly trite and tacky that was in the same way we do with shell suits and Tony Hadley.
It's satan's revenge for all the pumped-up house and techno covers of slow songs in the 1990s. Having said that, I'd rather watch this advertise John Lewis (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KOfzi-WhkU) than wah wah bleugh.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on November 18, 2020, 02:28:06 PM
Why does a cat toy called Flippety Fish seem to have am advertising budget comparable with that of Coca-Cola? The advert is on constantly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on November 18, 2020, 02:55:57 PM
Why does a cat toy called Flippety Fish seem to have am advertising budget comparable with that of Coca-Cola? The advert is on constantly.

JML innit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on November 21, 2020, 06:25:40 PM
That EE ad with Rita Ora is fuckin funny. Look what we can do with 5G lads, we can render a Godzilla size Rita Ora in all her PS2 block head glory to terrorise London with her shit music.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 21, 2020, 09:17:19 PM
That EE ad with Rita Ora is fuckin funny. Look what we can do with 5G lads, we can render a Godzilla size Rita Ora in all her PS2 block head glory to terrorise London with her shit music.

I don't get that ad at all. Are they saying if you build a scale set and get the appropriate motion capture technology you too can make videos like this, or that it's possible to make them at all even though it's been possible for years even if the method/technology was just different? What exactly are they flogging?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 22, 2020, 12:20:25 AM
I don't get that ad at all. Are they saying if you build a scale set and get the appropriate motion capture technology you too can make videos like this, or that it's possible to make them at all even though it's been possible for years even if the method/technology was just different? What exactly are they flogging?
In theory 5G makes augmented reality better because the latency is lower, which is a dull technical point: your fake Rita is animated to more accurately match your movements. But all I care about is Kevin's moustache.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 22, 2020, 08:25:22 AM
In theory 5G makes augmented reality better because the latency is lower, which is a dull technical point: your fake Rita is animated to more accurately match your movements. But all I care about is Kevin's moustache.

Oh, so you can prance about and have a fake version of a celebrity mirror you on your phone? Is that desirable now? I feel 100.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on November 22, 2020, 12:15:13 PM
My biggest problem with that adverts is sad Kevin Bacon saying at the end 'it will make you the envy of everybody'.

I mean, that is proper Burn Down the World energy right there.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on November 22, 2020, 01:03:10 PM
They should have had some Tremors(graboids) causing havoc in Canary Wharf and the girl just loving it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on November 22, 2020, 03:33:30 PM
Is the Christmas Asda dad supposed to be simple? Is his neighbour supposed to be hateful?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 22, 2020, 04:29:51 PM
But all I care about is Kevin's moustache.

It does make him look like Buscemi gone wrong, and that's quite an achievement.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on November 22, 2020, 07:35:11 PM
Is the Christmas Asda dad supposed to be simple? Is his neighbour supposed to be hateful?

Being presented as a boggle-eyed mumblefuck in the first advert certainly set the tone.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on November 22, 2020, 08:21:50 PM
I want to see a version of the Rita Ora ad where the woman holds up the phone and says “2012 called, they want their celebrity back”.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on November 22, 2020, 08:29:13 PM
Also, the Co-Op’s latest open-mic-poetry effort might be a record for number of times an ad causes me to groan fuckkk offff.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on November 22, 2020, 08:41:36 PM
Being presented as a boggle-eyed mumblefuck in the first advert certainly set the tone.
Without doubt.

He looks like a nightmare to live next door to.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 23, 2020, 02:16:27 PM
I want to see a version of the Rita Ora ad where the woman holds up the phone and says “2012 called, they want their celebrity back”.
Maybe they think Rita Ora is the musical equivalent of Kevin Bacon? I think that's a bit harsh on Bacon. Who's the actorly equivalent of Rita Ora, maybe Dominic Cooper or Jamie Dornan.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on November 23, 2020, 02:18:55 PM
Without doubt.

He looks like a nightmare to live next door to.

Oh man, if he pulled off that shit with me and his googly fuck face, I'd run them out of town like Clint Eastwood. Chipper cunt and a moron to boot.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on November 23, 2020, 09:42:01 PM
Is the Christmas Asda dad supposed to be simple? Is his neighbour supposed to be hateful?

Oh man, if he pulled off that shit with me and his googly fuck face, I'd run them out of town like Clint Eastwood. Chipper cunt and a moron to boot.

Like most other supermarket ads they're still trying to avoid having much footage from actually inside one of their shops, because masks don't exactly inspire festive feelings  and the attendant seasonal splurging. There's even an Asda one where he's walking through the shop and you can see other people in masks in the background, but we only see the back of his head so he doesn't have to appear in a mask.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on November 27, 2020, 07:59:28 PM
He's the only one not wearing a mask when the Asda drivers carry in his box of food. He just grins and stands too close to them.

I noticed on a re-edit or cut out of the ad that they've toned down the neighbour. She now says "very tasteful" with a slight smile rather than "I've been onto the council about this you know"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on December 01, 2020, 12:28:03 PM
There doesn't seem to have been any hoo-hah this year about the John Lewis advert like there usually is so the other day I Googled it to see if it'd even come out yet.  Apparently it had, so I watched it on Google.  I've forgotten it already. 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on December 01, 2020, 06:42:57 PM
There's one of those many life insurance ads doing the rounds on Freeview channels which stood in my mind as particularly odd. In it the spokeswoman for whichever company it is is inexplicably delivering her pitch in some couple's bedroom while they're both still in bed. The guy in it reacts to her presence like he's just the seen the spectre of death hanging over him, it's completely bizarre.

I keep waiting for this one to pop up again but it never seems to, I'd love to know what this was for and who thought it was a good idea.

Found it! It's for Simpson Millar Personal Injury. Definite "what the fuck is she doing in my house" vibes from the dude in bed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuC3Yz10264
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jenna appleseed on December 02, 2020, 01:05:26 AM
There's a radio ad for Capitol one credit (heard it on a survey so might not be on the actual radio yet) that's nicked the concept of Generous Seagull. Capitol ones credit' deals/insurance or whatever are aparentally just like your scarf blowing away and thinking you've  lost it forever but a passing seagull flies back with it in it's beak giving it back to you.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on December 02, 2020, 07:10:24 AM
Found it! It's for Simpson Millar Personal Injury. Definite "what the fuck is she doing in my house" vibes from the dude in bed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuC3Yz10264

Isy Suttie's been really desperate for work since " Peep Show" finished.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on December 02, 2020, 08:21:13 AM
There doesn't seem to have been any hoo-hah this year about the John Lewis advert like there usually is so the other day I Googled it to see if it'd even come out yet.  Apparently it had, so I watched it on Google.  I've forgotten it already. 

Next entry on High Street Death List. Sales at John Lewis and Waitrose down through the floor this year, now they find out that their position as luxury retailer of choice is precarious in times of crisis. We peer through the looking glass and see it's all pretend.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Norton Canes on December 02, 2020, 10:20:27 PM
Not been keeping up with this thread so sorry if it's already been mentioned but has anyone else seen the loathsome 'Dad's not here' one from Sainsbury's?

I mean I say it's loathsome, I'm not missing a trick am I? It's basically saying, "Lost someone with COVIDs? Shop at Sainsbos!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 03, 2020, 05:40:28 PM
Not been keeping up with this thread so sorry if it's already been mentioned but has anyone else seen the loathsome 'Dad's not here' one from Sainsbury's?

I mean I say it's loathsome, I'm not missing a trick am I? It's basically saying, "Lost someone with COVIDs? Shop at Sainsbos!"

I haven't seen that one yet but god, it sounds almost as mawkish and manipulative as Aviva's ghost Paul Whitehouse one.
Listen to me, bemoaning adverts for being manipulative. In other news that porn's a bit rude and exploitative isn't it?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on December 03, 2020, 07:25:23 PM
I remember a KFC ad where a family had just adopted or fostered this kid and it showed him struggling to adapt and fit in. Then the family bring home a bargain bucket and magically he starts smiling and bonding with his new family.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 03, 2020, 07:31:08 PM
Found it! It's for Simpson Millar Personal Injury. Definite "what the fuck is she doing in my house" vibes from the dude in bed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuC3Yz10264

Bring back Declan Swan.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 04, 2020, 02:18:06 PM
There's one for a property law firm at the moment that directly targets gammons concerned that their children's spouses might inherit their houses if their child dies first, so they're offering a service to ensure only the grandchildren will inherit. It uses cutesy drawings (as these financial firms often do to try and obfuscate the grasping dead-eyed miserliness of their business), but it can't hide how depressing it is that there's a big enough market of mean old gits who hate and distrust their sons or daughters in law, and of grandparents in step-families who worry their house is going to end up inherited by step-kids, that it's worth making an advert just for them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on December 04, 2020, 03:17:59 PM
The vodafone 5g advert, with the lad who can't go in the snow because he's hurt his leg: - OK, it's a bit far fetched that he's got the virtual reality jacket and mask set, and the 'cute kids looking after each other' is very 'Route 1' for emotional manipulation, but AT LEAST IT MAKES SENSE AS SOMETHING YOU MIGHT USE 5G FOR, KEVIN BACON.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on December 04, 2020, 03:19:59 PM
Not been keeping up with this thread so sorry if it's already been mentioned but has anyone else seen the loathsome 'Dad's not here' one from Sainsbury's?

I mean I say it's loathsome, I'm not missing a trick am I? It's basically saying, "Lost someone with COVIDs? Shop at Sainsbos!"

As bad as the year when they heavily implied the Xmas Truce of 1914 was sponsored by Sainsbury's?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on December 04, 2020, 03:38:31 PM
My hatred of PlusNet Cunt remains unabated, not least through their current campaign which is desperate to make the awful forced catchphrase "That'll do" into a thing.
 
It will never, ever be a thing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on December 05, 2020, 08:21:13 AM
My hatred of PlusNet Cunt remains unabated, not least through their current campaign which is desperate to make the awful forced catchphrase "That'll do" into a thing.
 
It will never, ever be a thing.

Annoyingly that is a phrase I use quite often, usually when I can't be bothered to work on something anymore.
Doesn't seem like the best of slogans?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on December 05, 2020, 08:28:49 AM
I've seen some peak real life gore videos in my time,beheadings, Mexican cartels mutilating rivals etc, yet the new Andrex advert that forces you to imagine people's dirty and then post Andrex clean arses as they montage them on the screen, does not sit well with me.

Edit: Here it is https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B58aI5chDBQ And they have digitally de-arsed the dogs arse because that wouldn't be a good image.

Clean is "I'm on fire"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blue Jam on December 05, 2020, 11:35:53 AM
Anyone spotted Daryl The Racist from out of Peep Show in the ad for Cesar's posh dog food? Interesting to note he has a West Highland White Terrier. I reckon it's called Enoch.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blue Jam on December 05, 2020, 11:40:32 AM
...actually it looks like an edited version of this old ad:

https://youtu.be/yvu7S3QoXzk

I'm just imagining him throwing empty water cooler bottles down the stairs, shouting "I'm Barnes Wallis, you're the Ruhr!" before little Enoch uses that roll of sellotape to put a sausage on Ian Krauss's door.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on December 05, 2020, 01:12:36 PM
Been around since 2015, that one. The original version had Erik Satie as the music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUbqaSpDNQs
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 05, 2020, 03:35:17 PM
My hatred of PlusNet Cunt remains unabated, not least through their current campaign which is desperate to make the awful forced catchphrase "That'll do" into a thing.
 
It will never, ever be a thing.

That'll do amuses me. Reminds me of this:
(https://external-preview.redd.it/ytSFVGXhk6oADj0VydvMaRUe5T47fH42W6xxBDbxDrQ.jpg?auto=webp&s=ea2cd6482d27fd1c89f1d45067023e53c624f157)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jenna appleseed on December 05, 2020, 11:42:57 PM
My hatred of PlusNet Cunt remains unabated, not least through their current campaign which is desperate to make the awful forced catchphrase "That'll do" into a thing.
 
It will never, ever be a thing.

It's been a thing since Babe, mate.

That'll do pig,
that'll do.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on December 06, 2020, 11:36:44 AM
There's an advert for Three with people singing "screw screw screw screwety screw..."  I assume they're singing something else but I never manage to get the subtitles on in time.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on December 09, 2020, 08:31:18 PM
The Switch, Just Dance 2021 advert is an absolute shitshow.

"It's more than just dance, it's lasting memories"

Choke on a grape you absolute fucking rodent.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on December 10, 2020, 12:22:22 PM
The advert for nurses which is on at the moment OBVIOUSLY suffers from all the usual problems adverts for recruitment to the public services do (ie the dissonance between the projection and what we all know to be the reality - they've done it with adverts for teachers, army soldiers, you name it: the advert shows well-funded happy smiling people making a difference - experience shows harassed, worn out individuals hampered by bureaucratic interference and underfunding).

But what's with the first image of the 'old fashioned' nurse, in the old fashioned uniform, with that bizarre cardboard hat thing they used to wear - who is donning a surgical mask with the elastic over-the-ear fastenings? Old fashioned surgical masks used to tie behind the head, didn't they?

So - is *all* the 'archive' footage on that advert fake archive? Probably.

And while I'm here talking about Government Information - the advert for Brexit is a bit shit too.

The message seems to be "Very important stuff is going to happen on Jan 1. No-one knows what this stuff will be, but it's happening on Jan 1. Remember the date. It's January the First (Jan 1). Don't ask what's happening, on Jan 1."

Incidentally, one of the people on it - the guy doing the upholstery - was on a recent episode of the Jay Blades daytime tv show 'Money for Nothing', playing an upholsterer.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on December 10, 2020, 12:27:53 PM
I remember a KFC ad where a family had just adopted or fostered this kid and it showed him struggling to adapt and fit in. Then the family bring home a bargain bucket and magically he starts smiling and bonding with his new family.

Must be a trope: There's the miserable daughter in the Mr Kipling advert who manages to crack a smile when her brother brings her back a stolen Angel Slice from a wedding reception. I mean, that asks more questions than it answers.

And the one for Animal Crossing where the family move home but the daughter is only sad for a short while because she can talk to predatory men anyone at all her friends while pretending to be a unicorn (is this right?).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on December 10, 2020, 12:30:17 PM
McDonalds has one exactly the same trope. Miserable little shit too old for santa n that but as soon as his enabler mam takes him to Maccy's and he gets his fucking happy meal he's all nice lad putting a mince pie out for that fat beardy cunt.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on December 10, 2020, 01:04:19 PM
The message seems to be "Very important stuff is going to happen on Jan 1. No-one knows what this stuff will be, but it's happening on Jan 1. Remember the date. It's January the First (Jan 1). Don't ask what's happening, on Jan 1."

"Write that down - January 1st!" Yeah, because January 1st is a completely random date that's in no way memorable, isn't it? Wankers.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on December 10, 2020, 01:15:00 PM
I'm always amused by the terrible acting of Ruth & Eamonn in that "Revitive Medic" ad , you'd never think they had years of experience on camera.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr1hJ1R3zio

There's also one I think could be First4Lawyers that begins with "Medical Negligence...that's the worst kind of negligence you can have!"

Which somehow sounds like a Simpsons gag but presented completely in earnest.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on December 10, 2020, 01:17:44 PM
"Write that down - January 1st!" Yeah, because January 1st is a completely random date that's in no way memorable, isn't it? Wankers.

"Got it? Good"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on December 10, 2020, 02:17:04 PM
And while I'm here talking about Government Information - the advert for Brexit is a bit shit too.

The message seems to be "Very important stuff is going to happen on Jan 1. No-one knows what this stuff will be, but it's happening on Jan 1. Remember the date. It's January the First (Jan 1). Don't ask what's happening, on Jan 1."

I don't even get what the point of that advert is.  What's it for?  Who is it aimed at?

Is it aimed at those in the import/export business, who'll be affected by Brexit, or is it aimed at the rest of us who are going to get fucked over by more expensive food prices etc?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blue Jam on December 10, 2020, 02:31:15 PM
That Sky Movies ad with Idris Elba having a pretend snowball fight with Will Ferrell. "On the days a-round Christmas I like to watch mo-vies". I'm not sure why but the awkward phrasing really does my nut. Graceful chap though ain't he? Got that "Big bloke but walks like a panther" thing that Sean Connery had.

Got an urge to re-watch Pacific Rim now.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on December 10, 2020, 03:43:51 PM
That Sky Movies as with Idris Elba having a pretend snowball fight with Will Ferrell. "On the days a-round Christmas I like to watch mo-vies". I'm not sure why but the awkward phrasing really does my nut. Graceful chap though ain't he? Got that "Big bloke but walks like a panther" thing that Sean Connery had.

Got an urge to re-watch Pacific Rim now.

I swear Elba is autotuned on that ad. Is he really such a bad singer that they had to do that?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blue Jam on December 10, 2020, 03:49:23 PM
Pretty sure he's AutoTuned, but that’s just standard these days innit?

I hate AutoTune as well.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on December 10, 2020, 07:34:10 PM
Pretty sure he's AutoTuned, but that’s just standard these days innit?

I hate AutoTune as well.

Maybe so but it seems extra-prominent on that ad, almost Daft Punkish.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blue Jam on December 10, 2020, 10:06:06 PM
1. That Whiska's ad with the voice over saying "Feed your cat's curiosity". Curiosity is not a good thing for cats, it kills them.

2. That ad for Laughing Cow cheese triangles which shows a succession of women laughing at cheese. Women. Only women. Laughing cows. Yeah, someone should have given that a bit more thought.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on December 11, 2020, 09:55:19 AM
The advert for nurses which is on at the moment OBVIOUSLY suffers from all the usual problems adverts for recruitment to the public services do (ie the dissonance between the projection and what we all know to be the reality - they've done it with adverts for teachers, army soldiers, you name it: the advert shows well-funded happy smiling people making a difference - experience shows harassed, worn out individuals hampered by bureaucratic interference and underfunding).

But what's with the first image of the 'old fashioned' nurse, in the old fashioned uniform, with that bizarre cardboard hat thing they used to wear - who is donning a surgical mask with the elastic over-the-ear fastenings? Old fashioned surgical masks used to tie behind the head, didn't they?

So - is *all* the 'archive' footage on that advert fake archive? Probably.

And while I'm here talking about Government Information - the advert for Brexit is a bit shit too.

The message seems to be "Very important stuff is going to happen on Jan 1. No-one knows what this stuff will be, but it's happening on Jan 1. Remember the date. It's January the First (Jan 1). Don't ask what's happening, on Jan 1."

Incidentally, one of the people on it - the guy doing the upholstery - was on a recent episode of the Jay Blades daytime tv show 'Money for Nothing', playing an upholsterer.

Those ads aren't really about recruiting nurses or making sure businesses are prepared. They're pure propaganda.

The nurse one is saying that these new nurses we take on are going to be proper, old fashioned English nurses from the good old days. No more nurses with funny accents you can't understand. Proper British nurses for proper British patients.

The Brexit one is just washing their hands of the fall out in January. Those people in the advert who absolutely aren't actors managed to get their businesses ready, and they had plenty of warning, why didn't they just get on with it?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 11, 2020, 10:12:53 AM
McDonalds has one exactly the same trope. Miserable little shit too old for santa n that but as soon as his enabler mam takes him to Maccy's and he gets his fucking happy meal he's all nice lad putting a mince pie out for that fat beardy cunt.

I hadn't even realised that was a Mcdonalds ad as it's one of the many, many ads with music that prompts me to hit mute and look away as soon as it starts.

The other Mcdonalds promotion of "celebrating" Christmas with their new 4 burger double Bigmac is ridiculous as well, as if it wasn't clearly created just to use up all the surplus burgers they have left over from lockdown.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on December 11, 2020, 10:22:57 AM
The Tesco Christmas one about there being no naughty list this year is an aural assault. That loud music, obnoxious voiceover and quick editing is usually reserved for radio adverts that make people crash their cars.

Always have to hit mute when it comes on. And I'm not even driving when I watch telly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on December 11, 2020, 11:47:12 AM
Lidl have cottoned on to how fucking cliched the whole ad structure is at the min, so they've copied the usual tropes in an irreverent way culminating in the cute snowflake character landing too close to a hot xmas pudding and melting...Take that Saatchi & Saatchi.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on December 11, 2020, 05:55:16 PM
The Duracell bunny is an absolute tosser.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on December 12, 2020, 05:12:50 PM
The Tesco Christmas one about there being no naughty list this year is an aural assault. That loud music, obnoxious voiceover and quick editing is usually reserved for radio adverts that make people crash their cars.

Didn't donate to captain Tom? No, I fucking didn't donate to the old cunt.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 12, 2020, 05:16:11 PM
The Duracell bunny is an absolute tosser.

Finally someone with the balls to say what we've all been thinking.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on December 12, 2020, 05:17:30 PM
I don't even get what the point of that advert is.  What's it for?  Who is it aimed at?

Is it aimed at those in the import/export business, who'll be affected by Brexit, or is it aimed at the rest of us who are going to get fucked over by more expensive food prices etc?
The January 1st advert (did I get that right) suffers from the problem that even the fucking government don't have a clue what's happening on January wheneverth. Will there be taxes, will there be forms, will there be quotas, delays, shortages, queues from Nantes to Nantwich? It all depends on Boris's negotiating prowess. Filming an actual realistic portrayal of post-December 31 with the south of England transformed into something from Children of Men is probably beyond the government's budget these days.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blue Jam on December 12, 2020, 05:48:39 PM
The Duracell bunny is an absolute tosser.

Near my primary school there lived a cat we nicknamed Duracell because it never stopped meowing. It had bald patches and there were playground rumours that it had AIDS.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on December 12, 2020, 06:36:02 PM
Didn't donate to captain Tom? No, I fucking didn't donate to the old cunt.

I find that bit really weird in the advert - it's so jarring. The whole Captain Tom thing passed me by really. Maybe it was more visible in England or maybe I don't watch enough TV. But the way the ad suddenly stops and they shun the boy until he says he did some cake sale is weird. Given that this was put together by an ad agency for Tesco, they really couldn't give a shit themselves but it does seem to be feeding the idea that some things were a duty for the proles. (and it's funny, yea, but seriously don't joke about it).

I wish I could articulate it better - it's a bit like the ads that started to feed us our own lockdown memories while they were still happening (mentioned upthread).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on December 12, 2020, 07:12:24 PM
I just watched it and that struck me too.

It's like they spitballed "I didn't donate to Captain Tom" among lockdown naughty tropes and decided they needed to qualify it to get away with it and not be controversial. and you can do the *record scratch* joke which adds to the dynamic of the whole horrible thing
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 12, 2020, 11:15:35 PM
Near my primary school there lived a cat we nicknamed Duracell because it never stopped meowing. It had bald patches and there were playground rumours that it had AIDS.

What?? Did anyone help him? If he kept meowing he was clearly trying to ask something, that he needed help or at least food. Not your fault because you were a child but did no adult help him?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: idunnosomename on December 12, 2020, 11:36:56 PM
Probably a bit late now tbh
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 19, 2020, 05:09:36 PM
The Domino's pizza one where some friends are deciding what takeaway to get, one suggests something exotic from a local pop-up, then a future version of her bursts in with cement blocks on her feet and basically says 'don't do that, because if you do they won't find your house and you'll have to go and chase them down the street and you'll fall in wet cement." So they all agree to just order from Domino's instead.

Apart from being a stupid premise it's a pretty egregious example of a huge multinational corporation punching down at already struggling independents, implying they're unreliable and your food might not turn up but it definitely will from Domino's (based on what?) The one dim ray of hope at the moment for a lot of small restaurants is takeaway so while I obviously don't expect Domino's to actively promote them, it just seems downright mean of them to use their huge advertising reach to deliberately do them down. Their pizzas are shite and vastly overpriced anyway, can't understand why anyone would order from them if there was any other option at all.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jamiefairlie on December 19, 2020, 06:24:57 PM
The Domino's pizza one where some friends are deciding what takeaway to get, one suggests something exotic from a local pop-up, then a future version of her bursts in with cement blocks on her feet and basically says 'don't do that, because if you do they won't find your house and you'll have to go and chase them down the street and you'll fall in wet cement." So they all agree to just order from Domino's instead.

Apart from being a stupid premise it's a pretty egregious example of a huge multinational corporation punching down at already struggling independents, implying they're unreliable and your food might not turn up but it definitely will from Domino's (based on what?) The one dim ray of hope at the moment for a lot of small restaurants is takeaway so while I obviously don't expect Domino's to actively promote them, it just seems downright mean of them to use their huge advertising reach to deliberately do them down. Their pizzas are shite and vastly overpriced anyway, can't understand why anyone would order from them if there was any other option at all.

So you don’t get concrete all over your feet of course! Pay attention!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on December 19, 2020, 08:41:41 PM
Big Pizza have got to you!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on January 02, 2021, 12:21:07 AM
Pre lockdown my office ordered pizzas from Domino's every month and they never found the office even after 4 years. Report to the Advertising Standards Authority. Also only got gluten free right once in 2 years. Gluten intolerant guy moved to another country eventually.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on January 03, 2021, 12:05:51 PM
Youtube videos are weird. Just seen one with a bloke in just shorts in his kitchen holding salad in one hand and pizza in the other, saying something like "Guess whether I'm going to eat this salad or this pizza for lunch". And this man called "Mr Beast" who shouts something about doing something on all your computers.

Re the Tesco donate to Captain Tom video - how much have the giant company Tesco given to Captain Tom?  Or the advertising company? It's pretty revolting for them to try and sham ordinary people, many of whom are in poverty, for not doing so, but it comes across as a bit hypocritical as well. It's just reinforcing the right-wing idea that ordinary people should be funding important causes rather than the state, which allows people to not consider whether corporations and the super-rich should be taxed more.

The advertising press gush all over it, of course: https://www.moreaboutadvertising.com/2020/11/tesco-does-away-with-the-naughty-list-and-gives-us-all-a-treat-this-christmas/
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 03, 2021, 04:52:27 PM
Gousto are using Enola Gay in their latest ad, which is a strange choice, or do you get a little DIY atomic bomb with your meal kit?

(My tablet autocorrected Enola Gay to Ebola Fat, because that makes so much more sense)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on January 03, 2021, 08:36:34 PM
And this man called "Mr Beast" who shouts something about doing something on all your computers.

Some browser extension or other that supposedly shows discounts while yer shopping, but prob'ly just harvests your personal details instead.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on January 07, 2021, 12:47:50 PM
Looks like the comedian in that Sun Bingo advert is searching for her name on Youtube because she just responded to a comment I made 2 years ago.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on January 07, 2021, 03:26:58 PM
Looks like the comedian in that Sun Bingo advert is searching for her name on Youtube because she just responded to a comment I made 2 years ago.

I expressed my disappointment on Twitter that she was doing a Sun advert, not tagging her in, and she sent me a PM justifying it. So yeah, she definitely name searches.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Camp Tramp on January 07, 2021, 05:10:01 PM
My comment was "Comedian?"

Her response was  "Yes, a successful One."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on January 07, 2021, 05:34:27 PM
Love that jab and go Ryanair ad, peak Michael O'Leary.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 07, 2021, 06:22:39 PM
My comment was "Comedian?"

Her response was  "Yes, a successful One."

Nothing screams success like doing ads for tabloids and gambling!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on January 07, 2021, 07:17:28 PM
Love that jab and go Ryanair ad, peak Michael O'Leary.
Yea - annoying thing is it's the opposite of a mid-step all round. The possibility that it will upset people will get it free space in the papers meaning the kind of people who think this is all a load of fuss or think this thing has a timeframe will book flights having seen the ad.

 
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 09, 2021, 06:59:27 PM
Is it me or is that Snoop Dogg Just Eat ad on about 5 times more than any other ad? I hear it in my sleep ffs.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on January 10, 2021, 02:13:52 PM
^ Yes, loads for a while but now gone. Perhaps All 4's decided I've seen enough of it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on January 10, 2021, 02:17:50 PM
It's still on, I saw it several times last night.  And now as well as the ad with Snoop there's a second version with the same audio track but featuring some sort of puppet instead of Snoop (I forget the exact details).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 10, 2021, 03:02:55 PM
^ Yes, loads for a while but now gone. Perhaps All 4's decided I've seen enough of it.

It's still on E4 and More4 constantly, but yes mercifully not so much on All4 anymore.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on January 15, 2021, 10:54:01 AM
Just going back to the Tesco naughty list advert, it does feel a bit dystopian that a supermarket is telling people whether their behaviour puts them on the "naughty list". I want Tesco to sell me groceries, not give opinions on people's morals.


Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on January 15, 2021, 09:25:58 PM
Don't know what the advert is for, but I think it's aimed at old people.

"There's an APP for it, I really love using the APP"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on January 15, 2021, 10:04:53 PM
Just going back to the Tesco naughty list advert, it does feel a bit dystopian that a supermarket is telling people whether their behaviour puts them on the "naughty list". I want Tesco to sell me groceries, not give opinions on people's morals.
I had similar thoughts about that Amazon advert in which the dad whispers "Low prices" to get his baby to sleep. That kid's first words are probably going to be "Prime membership!"
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on January 17, 2021, 04:01:59 PM
MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS:

https://youtu.be/FiWi-3hft58?t=964

I think the one in front is their MP, as they have a rosette.

Followed by a rather full on Capital Radio ad. Who does this, who does that.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on January 17, 2021, 04:57:02 PM
I get those Freeview Highway ads while I'm watching stuff on the UK TV play smart TV app. I'm not sure who uses that app but doesn't know what Freeview is.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on January 17, 2021, 06:52:42 PM
I thought they had knocked those on the head but used to think exactly the same.

My UK TV has stopped working. I assume something to do with the app. Now I can't watch programmes on nazis or bridges. I genuinely enjoy one of those categories too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on January 22, 2021, 01:39:58 PM
Intriguing Youtube ad today that started with "Should this [some Zoom lens or something] be made illegal in the UK"

I'm not sure if the ad was for the Zoom lens but it didn't exactly make me want to buy it.

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 23, 2021, 12:30:20 PM
I saw a book advert on TV the other day, which I don't think I've ever seen before. It was for a non-fiction psychology type book which I thought was called Belonging but I've googled and can't find so I've obviously misremembered the title, but it had several authors. Haven't seen it since, and given the repetitiveness of most TV ads I'm starting to think I must have hallucinated it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on January 24, 2021, 02:06:15 PM
In the "MC Delivery" ad where the girl answers the door wearing a prom dress and the deliverer says "Woah!"... has she dressed up just to answer the door (because obviously getting a MCDonalds is such a great occasion, yawn), or is she going to the prom soon but she's having a McDonalds first?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: imitationleather on January 24, 2021, 02:08:27 PM
It'd be a bit out of order at the moment to feature someone about to go out and do something.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on January 24, 2021, 03:35:07 PM
Why have they gone with McDelivery, but not McDrive Through?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 24, 2021, 11:29:06 PM
Why have they gone with McDelivery, but not McDrive Through?

And why can't we have McTakeaway? Against my better judgement I like some of their breakfast products and I walk right past one on my way to work, but apparently because I'm not in a car, I can't have. McBastards.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on January 24, 2021, 11:42:22 PM
I don't understand the vast queues I've seen outside some drive throughs during lockdown. I'm not some anti McDonalds snob, but it's not *that* good, is it? And why not just get it delivered anyway?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 24, 2021, 11:52:48 PM
I don't understand the vast queues I've seen outside some drive throughs during lockdown. I'm not some anti McDonalds snob, but it's not *that* good, is it? And why not just get it delivered anyway?

Possibly one of the only places open, and almost certainly one of the only places open and doing drive through.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on January 25, 2021, 08:32:09 AM
The Nissan Juke advert pisses me off. First the twat in it is so fucking dense he needs sat-nav instructions to get to his place of work. Then he jumps on a sofa that plummets hundreds of feet, Thunderbirds style, to his secret underground Juke Cave. He gets in the car and drives down a ludicrously long passage but exits from his garage on the ground floor. Then, when the simpleton has managed to find his workplace, he locks his car with his smartphone and blows on the end of it like some fucking Cowboy Gunslinger, as if he's done something really cool but it's a reference only Old People Who Watched And Enjoyed Westerns At The Pictures would get.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on January 30, 2021, 10:08:52 PM
I was watching It's A Sin on All4 the other day, and got an advert for It's A Sin on All4. Well done, Channel 4!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on January 30, 2021, 10:20:50 PM
When did Ed Gamble start doing all the advert voiceovers?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on January 30, 2021, 11:08:24 PM
When did Ed Gamble start doing all the advert voiceovers?

Has Rylan been ill or something?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on January 31, 2021, 11:01:25 AM
I was watching It's A Sin on All4 the other day, and got an advert for It's A Sin on All4. Well done, Channel 4!

Was it an advert for next weeks episode, containing a spoiler for the one you were watching?  I've seen that happen before.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on January 31, 2021, 11:06:32 AM
Keep getting the Youtube advert with Emily Atak where a big arrow appears next to her with "Emily Atak". If most people won't recognise who she is, why hire her for the advert? I always skip when I see the advert so maybe a massive arrow pointing out who she is becomes relevant later in the advert?

So many gambling adverts on Youtube these days. Pretty grim really, especially considering the increase in poverty and people with little to do during the pandemic.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on January 31, 2021, 12:10:30 PM
Maybe it's the channels I watch but there seems to be huge increase in ads for life insurance and funeral plans recently. It's attempting to cash in on Covid paranoia of course, which is unseemly enough, but they lay the guilt on thick too by going on about not leaving loved ones worrying about how they're going to pay for your funeral, which is charming. As if it's not enough that most of us worry if we've got enough money to live, now we're supposed to make sure we've got enough to die too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: spaghetamine on January 31, 2021, 02:11:27 PM
when I'm dead, just kick my corpse into the sea for absolutely free
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: buttgammon on January 31, 2021, 05:55:59 PM
when I'm dead, just kick my corpse into the sea for absolutely free

You jest, but there is a TV ad for one of those low-cost disposal services that's aimed at people who don't want (or can't afford) a big fuss.

They don't even offer a free Parker pen, the miserable bastards.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on January 31, 2021, 06:09:15 PM
I keep getting ads on Spotify for oat milk with the slogan 'you need to talk to yer da about milk' or something. Each ad shows a miserable dad being bollocked by their ghastly offspring about how their boomer milk habit will get them shipped off to a care home before long. Awful business.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on January 31, 2021, 07:20:26 PM
^^ Ahh! I was coming to post about that. For the last week I've had the one where the dad sneaks in and the bargain basement James Acaster son chastises him as a parent would a drunk teenager coming home late at night. It goes on too long too - as if they were so pleased at their role reversal concept.

There's now a second one where two 12-sh year olds meet while one is putting the bins out and exchange some small talk over how things are at home. The conceit being that the problem child is really the 55 year old dad drinking milk with everything. Have to say the two performers in that are really good and it's quite enjoyable.

This is on ITV Hub.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on January 31, 2021, 07:21:38 PM
When did Ed Gamble start doing all the advert voiceovers?

He's not doing the Gordon's Gin one is he? It's come off since Xmas I think but trying to place the voice on it was driving me to distraction. Good well have been him.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on February 01, 2021, 09:25:39 AM
Is Tim Key the voice of Burger King?

A bizarre advert all round - it's set in a world where a branch of Burger King is open, basically.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on February 01, 2021, 10:49:52 AM
HSBC ad:

Person reading a paper with "Will we ever get back to normal" on the front page.

Then text "Why wait for normal? Let's build the new different."

Just fuck off, HSBC.

Is the "new different" the planned closure of one in seven UK branches between April and September this year and the proposed 35,000 job cuts over the next few years?

If so, shove your new different.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on February 01, 2021, 11:21:51 AM
I keep getting ads on Spotify for oat milk with the slogan 'you need to talk to yer da about milk' or something. Each ad shows a miserable dad being bollocked by their ghastly offspring about how their boomer milk habit will get them shipped off to a care home before long. Awful business.

Just to add that there is a sinister undertone to the two kids ad I quite like - that the person they are talking about has a serious drink problem that's tearing the family apart (lol)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on February 03, 2021, 11:29:34 AM
Just fuck off, HSBC.

Is the "new different" the planned closure of one in seven UK branches between April and September this year and the proposed 35,000 job cuts over the next few years?

If so, shove your new different.
Don't forget supporting China's suppression of Hong Kong (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-52916119) and closing the accounts of Hong Kong democracy campaigners (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/07/exiled-hong-kong-legislator-calls-for-inquiry-after-hsbc-freezes-bank-account). They also have a history of laundering money from drug dealers and scammers (https://www.icij.org/investigations/fincen-files/hsbc-moved-vast-sums-of-dirty-money-after-paying-record-laundering-fine/), so morality is not their strong suit.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on February 03, 2021, 11:54:45 AM
There's a few holiday ads at the moment that are basically "Phew, after the year we've just had we all deserve a break, book now!!", as if any fucker in their right mind is going to be stupid enough to do so. The most galling one is all the beaming bathing suited people running across a beach in slo-mo to (I think) Sigur Ros. The tag line might as well be 'Look what you won't be doing this year.'
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on February 03, 2021, 02:59:24 PM
There's a few holiday ads at the moment that are basically "Phew, after the year we've just had we all deserve a break, book now!!", as if any fucker in their right mind is going to be stupid enough to do so. The most galling one is all the beaming bathing suited people running across a beach in slo-mo to (I think) Sigur Ros. The tag line might as well be 'Look what you won't be doing this year.'

Fucking hell, it's Iggy Pop!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on February 03, 2021, 07:59:13 PM
Fucking hell, it's Iggy Pop!

God that makes it even worse.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on February 08, 2021, 11:46:41 AM
Christ, what is it with Nationwide and shit poetry? "Threw guineas and shillings and crowns in the pot." FUCK OFF
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fr.Bigley on February 08, 2021, 12:24:10 PM
Christ, what is it with Nationwide and shit poetry? "Threw guineas and shillings and crowns in the pot." FUCK OFF

Kae Tempest is to blame...for everything. Shite, inauthentic patter is all the rage.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on February 08, 2021, 02:08:41 PM
The worst kind of spoken word 'poetry' in advertising is, of course, the "Here's to the ___, the ___ and ___" etc - especially because they have to invent different personality types. Like a cup of tea? Then you're a 'Nice Cuppa Liker' or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sMBhDv4sik&feature=youtu.be (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sMBhDv4sik&feature=youtu.be)

1997 version. Hat fucked.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on February 09, 2021, 08:22:28 PM
I saw a YouTube ad today which included a cartoon of a woman with two black C's on her chest to represent her breasts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on February 13, 2021, 08:50:28 PM
When did Ed Gamble start doing all the advert voiceovers?

Since this I've realised that he doesn't do that many, it just seems like he does because the Cazoo advert is on all the fucking time.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: confettiinmyhair on February 13, 2021, 09:03:05 PM
I'm becoming increasingly agitated by the Go Compare ads where the opera singer with the funny moustache has revealed himself to be a real life opera singer. He's trying to escape the character, yet is trapped in the 'world' his fictional character has created.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on February 16, 2021, 12:59:42 PM
Gutted Gio Compario is just some fat Welsh bloke.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: AsparagusTrevor on February 16, 2021, 01:19:34 PM
I think the character's now been running longer since they 'killed him off' than before.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on February 16, 2021, 02:39:12 PM
Can Youtube uploaders choose what types of ads are on their video, if you want to monetise their video? I just watched a 10 minute Youtube video, 4 ads, three of which were for online gambling.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Chriddof on February 17, 2021, 08:18:58 AM
They can, but Youtube seems to have a history of "errors" happening in which ads explicitly forbidden by any given uploader get shown anyway. Also last year this happened. (https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnkoetsier/2020/11/18/youtube-will-now-show-ads-on-all-videos-even-if-creators-dont-want-them/)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on February 17, 2021, 03:30:42 PM
I'm becoming increasingly agitated by the Go Compare ads where the opera singer with the funny moustache has revealed himself to be a real life opera singer. He's trying to escape the character, yet is trapped in the 'world' his fictional character has created.
I just think he should shave when he's singing opera. Have some pride, mate, you look much smarter as Gio Campare!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on February 17, 2021, 04:46:56 PM
That's the thing, he won't have been able to, i think it's nice as much as i can call an advertiser nice, that they kept him in employment with these low grade ads. Plus the crew etc. Three cheers for Go compare!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on February 17, 2021, 06:03:21 PM
Center Parcs can fuck right off with their "let's get back to what we've been missing" advert. Woodland cunts.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on February 18, 2021, 02:56:53 PM
Parsley Box has dropped 'No..lasagne!' guy and replaced him with randy 'sticky toffee pudding!' lady.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on February 18, 2021, 03:08:25 PM
i think it's nice as much as i can call an advertiser nice, that they kept him in employment with these low grade ads. Plus the crew etc. Three cheers for Go compare!
Meh. It's probably cheaper and easier than coming up with a new campaign. Plus, they can show him in his 'real' persona - all friendly and good at opera - so that people forget, or feel ashamed, that they found the original adverts so annoying.

Three jeers for Go Compare and their mind games!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on February 18, 2021, 08:58:48 PM
Meh. It's probably cheaper and easier than coming up with a new campaign. Plus, they can show him in his 'real' persona - all friendly and good at opera - so that people forget, or feel ashamed, that they found the original adverts so annoying.

Three jeers for Go Compare and their mind games!
Would you rather have meerkats? Or confused.com's history of incredibly annoying adverts from the early shouty days through the silly animated woman to the robot, James Corden and the current smugness? "Are you confused? Yes I fucking am. Every time I look at a price comparison site."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on February 19, 2021, 08:08:49 AM
Parsley Box has dropped 'No..lasagne!' guy and replaced him with randy 'sticky toffee pudding!' lady.

Fuck them.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: GMTV on February 19, 2021, 12:47:14 PM
https://youtu.be/4tBct1tFMno

CRAVE pet food. Absolutely incredible set of adverts for what appears to be bodybuilding food for pets.

Quote
We use rigourous logic, gut instinct and scientific expertise to design our CRAVE recipes to the tastes pets are hardwired to eat

Anyone moronic enough to buy this deserves their pet to make massive gainz and become a wild uncontrollable beast.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on February 23, 2021, 02:02:14 PM
I keep seeing ads for "pork medallions".  What's then point of that then?  Surely in cutting a piece of pork into a round shape you're throwing some it away?  I know it's not a new fad either because years ago I remember Loyd Grossman on Masterchef talking about "Medorrrrlyons of lorrrmmm".
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on February 23, 2021, 02:05:23 PM
Gold ones are too expensive these days.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cuntbeaks on February 24, 2021, 01:11:19 AM
Parsley Box has dropped 'No..lasagne!' guy and replaced him with randy 'sticky toffee pudding!' lady.

'Sticky belly flap cock' more like it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bazooka on February 24, 2021, 02:45:14 PM
Video chats?  Remember the plague, remember video chats, do you?  Do you know  video chats, grandad is old, do you remember video chats?  Grandad can't use video chats,do you remember? You are muted, can't hear you, do you remember video chats, the plague?. Did you remember to buy our slogan?  Did you video chat?

Video chats are the new twee cover song and spoken word sewage.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on February 24, 2021, 08:55:10 PM
The OVO Energy ads, that sponsor Channel 4 News’ weather, have this odd bing-bong-bing-bong-bing-bong theme running in the background - that sounds exactly like one of those 1990s BBC2 idents. It’s very annoying and distracting.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: turnstyle on February 25, 2021, 09:24:29 PM
.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: turnstyle on February 25, 2021, 09:27:09 PM
I keep getting the tiktok advert on YouTube with the lad telling me how to make a 'bouncy can of pop'. Is this really what excites the young people these days? Has fingering fallen completely out of vogue?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on February 26, 2021, 01:05:46 AM
The OVO Energy ads, that sponsor Channel 4 News’ weather, have this odd bing-bong-bing-bong-bing-bong theme running in the background - that sounds exactly like one of those 1990s BBC2 idents. It’s very annoying and distracting.

The one ad I'm glad isn't on any more was for (I think?) a furniture company and featured a random "rat-a-tat-tat" knocking sound like someone knocking on the door.  I can tune adverts out while reading the paper or whatever but that bastard always got my attention, which was probably precisely why they did it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on February 26, 2021, 02:27:57 PM
The one ad I'm glad isn't on any more was for (I think?) a furniture company and featured a random "rat-a-tat-tat" knocking sound like someone knocking on the door.  I can tune adverts out while reading the paper or whatever but that bastard always got my attention, which was probably precisely why they did it.

I can usually tune them out too but I used to* have a friend who if I visited him and we were watching telly always used to turn the sound down as soon as the adverts started. You have no idea how much this used to annoy me. For a start I felt it was giving them more attention than they deserved and also he often wouldn't turn the volume up until an arbitrary point after the programme had started again, which meant we sometimes missed a crucial bit of dialogue.

*We didn't fall out or anything. He died.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on February 27, 2021, 03:14:31 AM
He died.

Retribution can be so final.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Phil_A on February 27, 2021, 08:09:35 PM
Judging by this fucking abortion of a photoshop job, the Plusnet Cunt has had a run-in with Leatherface.

(https://i.imgur.com/UtAdnFa.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on February 28, 2021, 12:09:00 AM
There's an ad for McDonalds where the voiceover guy is deliberately pronouncing words in wrong ways.  GRAVE.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: DrGreggles on February 28, 2021, 07:44:49 AM
There's an ad for McDonalds where the voiceover guy is deliberately pronouncing words in wrong ways.  GRAVE.

"Bog Muc"?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on March 01, 2021, 10:19:51 AM
Someone put a driveway resurfacing leaflet through my door yesterday with a Union Jack either side of the firm's name. We'll all be wearing little flag pins like in America soon.

Put the leaflet in the recycle bin as usual. Really can't imagine that many people keep these kind of leaflets for when they do need work done in the Internet age. I know it keeps people in a job but that could be said about a lot of things, and it's a waste of trees. I wonder how much the production of leaflets that are usually binned contributes to climate change.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 01, 2021, 12:39:09 PM
I know it's a bank advert, but the current one for the Halifax plumbs several hideous lows:

The Oasis soundtrack and the Limmy lookalike at the end are unintentionally hilarious, but one of the middle bits which looks like it's cheerily exploiting the misery caused by a miscarriage (although I now see that she's clutching a pregnancy test), completely unbidden, several times a night in the middle of a tv show you might be enjoying makes me sincerely pray everyone involved in making this dies horribly, and soon.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 01, 2021, 08:07:05 PM
Christ yes. And I can never remember what it's for until they kick the ball to the guy I am convinced will be a famous footballer every time. A failure all round. Plus the words are adjacent to that shitty Here's To The... styling.

Does make me nostalgic for the summers of the 90s and drinking over-proofed Australian Red wine (with the benefit of hindsight of course).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 01, 2021, 09:47:06 PM
I hate any insinuation by bank ads that they're 'here to help', although that's almost exclusively the angle they take. They aren't here to help at all, they're here to lock as many financial burdens around your neck as they possibly can so you spend your life servicing their shareholders. They don't give a shit about you buying a house or getting married or having a family as long as it results in debt that ultimately makes them profit. It's sick.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on March 01, 2021, 10:26:21 PM
Does Alexa really whisper back to you if you whisper it simple questions about your children’s homework? Asking for a bloke with a lump hammer (me).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on March 05, 2021, 08:07:30 AM
Most annoying add for me at the moment has to be that one with the sassy Rnb track obviously advertising some kind of new funky Apple piece of tech or some kind of new app that's pretty much the same as any other app.

Oh, hang on, it's actually for an electric toothbrush.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: H-O-W-L on March 05, 2021, 09:41:05 AM
I keep getting the tiktok advert on YouTube with the lad telling me how to make a 'bouncy can of pop'. Is this really what excites the young people these days? Has fingering fallen completely out of vogue?

Cannae finger right now, aye?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: turnstyle on March 05, 2021, 12:06:34 PM
Cannae finger right now, aye?

I know we're in a pandemic, but pop on one of those finger johnnys that dentists use, and you're golden.

(https://i.imgur.com/wAOuvAk.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 13, 2021, 04:45:54 PM
There's a vacuum cleaner ad at the moment where they demonstrate how good it is by hoovering up what looks like a whole bowl of spaghetti off the floor, and it makes me feel ill. The inside of the thing must look like a crime scene.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 13, 2021, 08:53:53 PM
That reminds me: never, ever, hoover up spilt instant coffee granules with a Dyson. You'll never get them out.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on March 14, 2021, 03:57:00 PM
So many Youtube ads from gambling companies for the Cheltenham fucking festival. There's one where two racing commentators get out of this bloke's bed as he is getting dressed. Is that their target market, people so addicted to gambling they see racing commentators in their bed? Put a little graphic for the gambling support website in one corner and you can show whatever you like in your gambling ad, it seems.

I'm getting three to four gambling ads a day (I haven't visited gambling websites for years), and it's disturbing how Youtube doesn't allow you to restrict these kinds of ads (as far as I am aware). Most people are browsing Youtube for at least an hour a day at the moment and I wonder how many struggling gambling addicts are going into debt because of how frequent gambling ads on Youtube are. Gambling is a way for money to be redistributed from desperate people on the poverty line to gambling companies, and it feels like there's no focus on restricting ads for this activity that has become more and more harmful to society. It's like with smoking in the 1960's, it feels like gambling ads are everywhere and there is so much pressure on people trying to stop gambling to carry on.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Cerys on March 15, 2021, 10:52:23 AM
HORSE HORSE HORSE or GTFO.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: turnstyle on March 15, 2021, 10:59:58 AM
That arsing shit TikTok ad that seems to appear on every single YouTube video at the moment.

'It started with a postman...'

NO

'There once was a ship that put to sea'

NO

'The name of the ship was Billy O Tea'

NO

*Click to skip*

THANK YOU AND GET FUCKED
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on March 15, 2021, 11:21:17 AM
That ad that sounds like a mumbled Macarena is starting to piss me off.  What the fuck are they singing?  I keep forgetting to put the subtitles on to see if that helps.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gmoney on March 15, 2021, 01:06:50 PM
HORSE HORSE HORSE or GTFO.

BET ON THE HORSE
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on March 15, 2021, 08:07:51 PM
It was acceptable in the 80's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPxLKAi9qQ

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mothman on March 15, 2021, 08:58:24 PM
There’s a certain kind of advert. I don’t know how you’d describe it. But let’s look at one example: the Purple Bricks ads (another could be the ones with Sanjeev Bhaskar telling people to use Sage accounting software).

Now, in it some unfunny representative of PB interacts with a member of Team GB (who PB sponsor), shoehorning in some clunky dialogue about PB services and trying out the sport - and failing spectacularly.

What are we supposed to take away from this? That PB staff are incompetent idiots? Doesn’t make me want to use them (but then we looked at their services two years ago and decided we weren’t impressed). And it doesn’t endear me to Team GB personnel either, who cone across as stiff, wooden, unfriendly, unpersonable - and snobbish.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 17, 2021, 02:25:23 PM
There’s a certain kind of advert. I don’t know how you’d describe it. But let’s look at one example: the Purple Bricks ads (another could be the ones with Sanjeev Bhaskar telling people to use Sage accounting software).

Now, in it some unfunny representative of PB interacts with a member of Team GB (who PB sponsor), shoehorning in some clunky dialogue about PB services and trying out the sport - and failing spectacularly.

What are we supposed to take away from this? That PB staff are incompetent idiots? Doesn’t make me want to use them (but then we looked at their services two years ago and decided we weren’t impressed). And it doesn’t endear me to Team GB personnel either, who cone across as stiff, wooden, unfriendly, unpersonable - and snobbish.

I've always got the impression with those Purple Bricks ads that they were going for a kind of Philomena Cunk thing, maybe even wanted her to do it but she wasn't interested (although she does the voiceover for another property company's ads).

I know "it must work or they wouldn't do it" (which I maintain would have been a much snappier title than Mad Men, but whatever) but I still find some of the sponsorship combinations incongruous. What the hell have an Olympic team got to do with the property business? Mr. Haven occasionally watches the Blaze channel, which is mostly programmes about alien conspiracies, Bigfoot and reality shows about people living in cabins in Alaska. Their sponsor is Dreams Beds, with some spiel about escapism, but it still seems jarring to have a floaty bed advert bookending these silly, overly dramatic macho shows.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: mippy on March 17, 2021, 09:55:36 PM
any ideas anybody ? never did find out. thanks

The song is African Mall by Marleny Nunez if that helps.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 18, 2021, 10:00:29 AM
I can't get that blasted 'Cheddar Town' song from the Mini Cheddars ad out my head - help!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on March 18, 2021, 11:16:43 AM
I can't get that blasted 'Cheddar Town' song from the Mini Cheddars ad out my head - help!

I don't know that one, but sometimes I'll get an earworm of the old Mini Cheddars song (the one sung to the tune of 'Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah'.)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 18, 2021, 12:17:09 PM
I've always got the impression with those Purple Bricks ads that they were going for a kind of Philomena Cunk thing, maybe even wanted her to do it but she wasn't interested (although she does the voiceover for another property company's ads).

I know "it must work or they wouldn't do it" (which I maintain would have been a much snappier title than Mad Men, but whatever) but I still find some of the sponsorship combinations incongruous. What the hell have an Olympic team got to do with the property business? Mr. Haven occasionally watches the Blaze channel, which is mostly programmes about alien conspiracies, Bigfoot and reality shows about people living in cabins in Alaska. Their sponsor is Dreams Beds, with some spiel about escapism, but it still seems jarring to have a floaty bed advert bookending these silly, overly dramatic macho shows.
It's like Santander's long and inglorious history of celeb-based adverts, from Jessica Ennis-Hill to ITV's Antony and Deckard. Or come to think of it HBOS's systematic pillaging of kids TV of yesteryear. I can only assume the principle (especially with Purple Bricks) is that if you sponsor the GB team, then you're obviously not some shitty fly-by-night website or bunch of dodgy foreigners. Basically waving a wad of cash in people's faces to show you're real. But why not hire someone expensive to make a good ad, and show your wealth that way?

Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Bently Sheds on March 18, 2021, 07:11:17 PM
Whilst watching a YouTube video I got a two and a half minute advert for Brian Rose's London Mayor campaign with a sneery American voice over. Bloke looks like a right twat in his fancy suits and he looks like he's walking downhill when he walks.
And now back to Dan Bell's Dead Mall videos...
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on March 19, 2021, 09:59:46 PM
I like how BT(?) have progressively softened the tone of their advert over the last few months. Started with Paula being "signal-shamed on every call", but is now "pixellated on every call". The original followed it with the line "and now the intern's after your job! (Just kidding, Paula!)", where the hasty 'joking' qualifier was obviously added to the script after a meeting raised the point that many people probably would be having serious worries about their job in the earlier months of the pandemic. This part has now been dropped completely.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on March 20, 2021, 01:35:55 PM
That arsing shit TikTok ad that seems to appear on every single YouTube video at the moment.

'It started with a postman...'

NO

'There once was a ship that put to sea'

NO

'The name of the ship was Billy O Tea'

NO

*Click to skip*

THANK YOU AND GET FUCKED
What is that all about anyway? Are sea shanties the hip thing with the yoof now?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 20, 2021, 11:49:10 PM
What is that all about anyway? Are sea shanties the hip thing with the yoof now?

Three months ago, Grandpa! ;)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Blue Jam on March 22, 2021, 10:50:40 AM
Just this:

(https://iili.io/qGj1Vf.md.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: jenna appleseed on March 24, 2021, 12:06:33 AM
Have they melted Richard Branson?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: turnstyle on March 24, 2021, 01:32:06 PM
Just this:

(https://iili.io/qGj1Vf.md.jpg)

Surely if every Briton gets rich then the perimeters of what 'rich' is will shift upwards, meaning that those on the lower end of rich, will be, by comparison, poor.

Fucks sake, think it through, melty Branson.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Uncle TechTip on March 24, 2021, 01:43:29 PM
I understand he appeared on Good Morning Britain extolling the virtues of bitcoin.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Ludicrous Display on March 24, 2021, 02:13:44 PM
That's nothing, I got the same ad but the picture was Branson in drag in full air hostess uniform.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 25, 2021, 07:18:21 PM
Google advertising. Not sure what part of their business - maps maybe? Seems pointless - a bit like the water board advertising that they supply your water.

They thrust of the ad is that local businesses are opening up and need your support. Are they just being nice and supporting non-corporations? I suppose you can search for all the big names too. I have no idea what is point.

Also may be fronted by an Olympic boxer. I don't know sports.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 25, 2021, 07:55:12 PM
Amazon seem to be pre-rolling everything with yet another Robert DeNiro film where he plays a pain in the arse grandpa. Looks like Walken's in this one too.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on March 26, 2021, 06:22:14 AM
Just this:

(https://iili.io/qGj1Vf.md.jpg)
New Paul Whitehouse character unveiled.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 26, 2021, 02:36:34 PM
Keep meaning to mention this one and it's just been on. The MS Teams ad features Hasbro and the voice over says "We release dozens of board games each year and something something about testing"

Mid-post Edit - just realised that even though they just seem to show Monopoly they don't just mean dozens of versions of Monopoly.

Even so - dozens of new board games a year seems a lot in this day and age. Guess there's a market - just not one I'm part of.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 26, 2021, 03:26:25 PM
^ https://boardgamegeek.com

Probably not Hasbro's, but a lot are crowdfunded so they've got their money upfront. Still amazed at the amount of artwork and 'minis' that gets churned out though.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on March 26, 2021, 03:32:34 PM
Keep meaning to mention this one and it's just been on. The MS Teams ad features Hasbro and the voice over says "We release dozens of board games each year and something something about testing"

Mid-post Edit - just realised that even though they just seem to show Monopoly they don't just mean dozens of versions of Monopoly.

Even so - dozens of new board games a year seems a lot in this day and age. Guess there's a market - just not one I'm part of.
No I'm sure they do say they release dozens of versions of Monopoly. Not sure how much testing these really need but there you go.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 26, 2021, 03:38:07 PM
There do seem to be quite a few, including (ho, ho, ho) Monopoly Socialism

"In the Monopoly Socialism game players move around the board working together to make a better community by managing and contributing to projects such as a no-tip vegan restaurant, an all-winners school, or a museum of co-creation. But nobody said that cooperation is easy! Drawing a Chance card presents the flip side of striving for the perfect utopian society. You'll have issues with your neighbors, your DIY community projects go awry, you're constantly voting to shake things up, and there's always an emergency that requires dipping into the Community Fund! Contribute all 10 of your chips to win the game, unless the Community Fund runs out of money and everyone loses. So much for a socialist utopia."
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 26, 2021, 04:10:40 PM
No I'm sure they do say they release dozens of versions of Monopoly. Not sure how much testing these really need but there you go.

I saw in one of those clickbaity local news links recently that apparently they're planning a Monopoly edition based on Maidstone, and are seeking contributions from locals about what to include. I mean - fucking hell.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on March 26, 2021, 04:40:38 PM
I saw in one of those clickbaity local news links recently that apparently they're planning a Monopoly edition based on Maidstone, and are seeking contributions from locals about what to include. I mean - fucking hell.
I spilled Carlsberg all over my friend's Monopoly: Bristol Edition when I was 16.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 26, 2021, 05:36:55 PM
Amazon seem to be pre-rolling everything with yet another Robert DeNiro film where he plays a pain in the arse grandpa. Looks like Walken's in this one too.
After 6 months of My Spy before everything, it's like they were waiting till they had something even more horrible to plug the hell out of.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: paruses on March 27, 2021, 04:37:18 PM
No I'm sure they do say they release dozens of versions of Monopoly. Not sure how much testing these really need but there you go.
They do - just seen it again. So are all these hyper-localised versions? Even so - dozens? One for the Fucked Hat thread I think.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: kalowski on March 27, 2021, 09:57:57 PM
They do - just seen it again. So are all these hyper-localised versions? Even so - dozens? One for the Fucked Hat thread I think.
All sorts of shit versions out there.
(https://s3.thcdn.com/productimg/1600/1600/12180853-1974687811013144.jpg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Piles the Beaver on March 27, 2021, 11:14:13 PM
I saw in one of those clickbaity local news links recently that apparently they're planning a Monopoly edition based on Maidstone, and are seeking contributions from locals about what to include. I mean - fucking hell.

Yeah! Any fool knows that Maidstone only has 3 stations.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on March 28, 2021, 09:43:09 AM
I've got Seinfeld Monopoly in my loft. I've only ever played it with people who don't know anything about Seinfeld. I sit there having a nice chuckle with my pewter fusilli Jerry while everyone else suffers a miserable game of fucking boring old Monopoly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Rizla on March 28, 2021, 09:48:49 AM
I saw in one of those clickbaity local news links recently that apparently they're planning a Monopoly edition based on Maidstone, and are seeking contributions from locals about what to include. I mean - fucking hell.
Get Out Of Europe Free card

You Have Come Second In A Pie and Mash Eating Contest, Collect £10

etc
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 28, 2021, 12:32:12 PM
They do - just seen it again. So are all these hyper-localised versions? Even so - dozens? One for the Fucked Hat thread I think.
I can't see how they need to do any testing on the localised versions, as they presumably just change the names.

There have been a variety of terrible variations over the years, such as the Cheaters Edition (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monopoly-E1871102-Cheaters-Board-Multi-Colour/dp/B07D2HY64Z/), Sore Losers (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monopoly-E1871102-Cheaters-Board-Multi-Colour/dp/B07D2HY64Z/) (try and go to jail), Mega Monopoly (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Winning-Moves-2459-Monopoly-Board/dp/B073Q97T72/) (add skyscrapers to your property), Speed Monopoly (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monopoly-Speed-Minutes-Fast-Playing-Players/dp/B07X2QVJKB/) (has a timer), Junior (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hasbro-Gaming-Monopoly-Junior-Game/dp/B01MQRG3QU/) (easy for kids), and Monopoly Socialism (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monopoly-Socialism-Board-Parody-Adult/dp/B07VPRNZJB/) (which might just be the incomprehensible old game, Antimonopoly, which I struggled to play as a child). There's one with "voice banking" (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monopoly-E1871102-Cheaters-Board-Multi-Colour/dp/B07D2HY64Z/) and before that there was one where you had a smart card instead of paper money. And there's a card game (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monopoly-B07H5HFTWC-Deal-English/dp/B07H5HFTWC/) which is actually very good fun. But dozens a year?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 28, 2021, 01:54:19 PM
and Monopoly Socialism (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monopoly-Socialism-Board-Parody-Adult/dp/B07VPRNZJB/) (which might just be the incomprehensible old game, Antimonopoly, which I struggled to play as a child).

No, I think Monopoly Socialism looks like something Ben Garrison might have had a hand in.

On a similar note, there are also endless versions of Risk, which seems pointless (apart from to make money).
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on March 28, 2021, 02:09:46 PM
There was a 'millennial' edition of monopoly as well. I'm not sure how that's going to work if nobody gets to be a rentier.

(https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/o9aLWV1P0fOE2TN5bB-1PXMDjE8=/0x0:2000x2000/1200x800/filters:focal(840x840:1160x1160)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/62358614/millennial_monopoly.0.jpeg)
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on March 28, 2021, 03:50:01 PM
When are they going to come out with Monopoly for Boring Old Boomer Cunts oh wait that's normal Monopoly
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Jockice on March 29, 2021, 08:32:10 AM
There's a cat token in Monopoly now apparently. That's abnormal. Against nature.

But I'm the dog or I'm not playing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 29, 2021, 10:21:27 AM
There was a 'millennial' edition of monopoly as well. I'm not sure how that's going to work if nobody gets to be a rentier.

(https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/o9aLWV1P0fOE2TN5bB-1PXMDjE8=/0x0:2000x2000/1200x800/filters:focal(840x840:1160x1160)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/62358614/millennial_monopoly.0.jpeg)
It seems to be exactly the same as the original except instead of money you collect experience points by going to yoga retreats and juice bars, and one of the counters is an avocado. Maybe you can sue people who have the same experiences as you.

Apparently these are genuine quotes from Hasbro to CNN (https://edition.cnn.com/2018/11/16/us/monopoly-for-millennials-trnd/index.html):
Quote
Well, avocado toast is our 'fav,' Ray-Bans are 'on fleek,' and cameras because, 'pics or it didn't happen!' The struggle is real for Millennials, so we chose items that we felt were relatable, but would also make fans of all ages LOL

We think the game is 'lit' and didn't intend for it to be 'salty.' Whether you hit up the artisanal coffee bar on the weekend, live in your parents' basement, or just have a sense of humor, this game's for you.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gurke and Hare on March 29, 2021, 11:05:27 AM
I'd love to have been in the brainstorming meeting that came up with Ray-Bans as a millennial thing.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on March 29, 2021, 04:54:52 PM
Totally gnarly.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Captain Z on March 29, 2021, 05:00:18 PM
Surprised they didn't call it "Wokeopoly".

New page boomer cunt.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Gulftastic on March 29, 2021, 08:23:38 PM
There's  very rare Leeds edition done in the 80's, before the takeover and the plethora of other versions. They only made 500. It was to celebrate Leeds centenary. I think they're worth quite a bit if you've got one.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: turnstyle on March 30, 2021, 10:11:49 AM
There was a 'millennial' edition of monopoly as well. I'm not sure how that's going to work if nobody gets to be a rentier.

(https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/o9aLWV1P0fOE2TN5bB-1PXMDjE8=/0x0:2000x2000/1200x800/filters:focal(840x840:1160x1160)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/62358614/millennial_monopoly.0.jpeg)

As if any millennial is going to be seen dead with WIRED headphones. Fucking hell Rich Uncle Pennybags, sort it out.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on March 31, 2021, 04:02:58 PM
Last week I kept getting 'I Predict a Riot' in my head every now and then, and I couldn't work out why as I'm pretty sure I haven't heard it or even thought about it in many years. Then I was watching TV a few days ago and there it was on an advert that I've probably been half hearing for weeks without even clocking. Couldn't tell you what it's for, I rarely look up during ad breaks but it obviously worked enough and on the right level of consciousness to get the song into my head without me even realising why or where it came from. Fucking ads. Fucking Kaiser Chiefs.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on March 31, 2021, 04:41:56 PM
There was an ad for 'Monster Cars' or something which featured the 'What's that coming over the hill, is it a monster?' song. I assumed that was Kaiser Chiefs but now know it's by some band called The Automatic.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on March 31, 2021, 05:10:26 PM
I rarely look up during ad breaks

For that reason I assumed for over a year (or however long the ad has been going for) that the "Perf with Surf" ad was being done by Martine McCutcheon and only when I bothered to look at the screen a few weeks ago I discovered it's not her but someone else with the same voice!
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 01, 2021, 11:20:19 AM
In a just world, the Perf with Surf woman would have a career ahead of her to equal the Go Compare man or the fucking meerkats.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on April 01, 2021, 01:12:36 PM
*possible snobbery alert* What is the deal with those adverts anyway? Is the class system so intractably entrenched in this country that advertising slugs feel the need to target market something as utilitarian as washing powder to TOWIE types?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: seepage on April 01, 2021, 01:26:01 PM
I've never seen the 'Perf with Surf' ad so I can only assume the All4 algorithm presumes TOWIE types don't watch Four in a Bed, Bake-off or Grayson's Art Club.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: metaltax on April 01, 2021, 04:12:51 PM
[...]it's not her but someone else with the same voice!

It's Danny Dyer's daughter. Can't remember her name; there mustn't have been anything memorable about it.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: icehaven on April 01, 2021, 04:35:11 PM
I've never seen the 'Perf with Surf' ad so I can only assume the All4 algorithm presumes TOWIE types don't watch Four in a Bed, Bake-off or Grayson's Art Club.

I've only seen it on TV, where it ambushes me along with ads for banks and fucking Wayfair.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on April 01, 2021, 04:37:34 PM
It's Danny Dyer's daughter. Can't remember her name; there mustn't have been anything memorable about it.
Who better than a dyer to make sure your washing powder is colour-safe?
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: gilbertharding on April 01, 2021, 05:04:56 PM
It's Danny Dyer's daughter. Can't remember her name; there mustn't have been anything memorable about it.

Fuck my hat.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on April 02, 2021, 10:16:42 AM
It's Danny Dyer's daughter. Can't remember her name; there mustn't have been anything memorable about it.

I just Googled, her name is Dani Dyer, apparently.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: dissolute ocelot on April 02, 2021, 03:16:15 PM
*possible snobbery alert* What is the deal with those adverts anyway? Is the class system so intractably entrenched in this country that advertising slugs feel the need to target market something as utilitarian as washing powder to TOWIE types?
Surf and Daz are working-class washing powders, hence Daz having Shane Ritchie and Danny Baker and soap opera parodies. Poshos use Ariel or Persil with their science and aspirational messages about global warming and attractive people running through mud.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on April 02, 2021, 05:00:37 PM
It's such a weird category of products to divide like that. I can understand not marketing luxury cars towards the Findus Crispy Pancake set, but washing powder? Are there really people out there who wouldn't use Persil because they think it's too snooty?

Same thing with shampoo adverts being divided on gender lines. It doesn't matter about the contents of your pants, it's just for making your hair clean. Which brings us full circle to Pubes Daz.
Title: Re: Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go
Post by: monkfromhavana on April 03, 2021, 10:11:24 AM
What's the deal with those adverts for, I'm not sure if it's for a running machine or a fitness program or both, where some American shouts at you as you do some exercise and you have to respond with "anything for you, Brad" like it's some kind of cult. The thought of exercise terrifies me generally, but seems like something out of some kind of dystopian film where you have to cycle to power the sacred orb whilst "taking a full and active part in proceedings".

There's a slightly extended version where the woman jumps off and her husband chucks her a towel then jumps straight on the machine for his 4 hour shift. All smiles. Don't these people just drink and watch telly like the n