Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => Deeper Into Movies => Topic started by: Thomas on February 26, 2020, 11:26:49 AM

Title: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on February 26, 2020, 11:26:49 AM
No, it's not a shitty video game title, it's the super epic amazing finale to the double-trilogy Jurassic World brand franchise. The ending of the original novel implies that dinosaurs have already reached the mainland, munching on lysine-rich plants and the occasional infant in beachside villages. A 'dinosaurs in human civilisation' sequel could've gone straight from there. But here we are, nearly 30 years and four dispensable sequels later - and a few dinosaurs finally live in the woods.

Chris Pratt (https://www.digitalspy.com/movies/a31036260/chris-pratt-jurassic-world-3-avengers-endgame-marvel/) has compared this final film to Avengers: Endgame, saying:

QuoteIt's got everybody. It's got pretty much everybody in it. Maybe I just blew it, but I don't care. All the cast from the original Jurassic Park is coming back. It's going to feel very much like how Endgame brought everything together for Marvel.

Imagine a reunion of everybody from the Jurassic franchise's past! Annoying one from Jurassic Park 3! Bloke from the second one (or, wait, was it the third?)! Whathisname from the one with the thingy. That man. That woman. (I do love Sam Neill, though).

The first film is near-perfect. A big, smart, sci-fi thriller. Stunning to look at, too. Wonderful colours. The second film has good elements, but the strain shows - Jurassic Park clearly works as a standalone story. From the third one on, it's all pointless. Might as well be a dream. Optional DVD extras. But won't it be exciting to tie it all together?

Hate it. The Marvel-franchisification of a brilliant one-off story. Dinosaurs becoming characters, with cool, hip names like 'Blue', leaping towards the camera away from explosions, teaming up to kill hybrid baddies and save cloned children. Obligatory romance subplots. Loudly scored comedy moments! Teal-and-orange colour grading! Scraping desperarely for a plot even though the entire story was told in the first one!

Obviously, I nevertheless will be paying to see it in the cinema.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Bad Ambassador on February 26, 2020, 11:34:31 AM
Every Jurassic Park film in the last 25 years has been shite.

Close the thread.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 26, 2020, 12:16:43 PM
Hopefully Blue will end up fucking a dinosaur with a colour scheme that somehow 'pops' against its own, and a name that reflects it.  (I am saying that having a dinosaur called "Orange" would give this triumphant trilogy a heartwarming and organic resolution.)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Blumf on February 26, 2020, 12:17:50 PM
I didn't even like the first Jurassic Park film.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Shit Good Nose on February 26, 2020, 12:27:41 PM
Quote from: Blumf on February 26, 2020, 12:17:50 PM
I didn't even like the first Jurassic Park film.

Ditto - left the cinema very disappointed.


Hopefully this last one will end in the same amazing way as Jurassic Park 3 did, with Laura Dern popping up in the last 30 seconds and just calling out the army.  Cut to the aftermath of some unseen enormous dino vs. human war.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: bgmnts on February 26, 2020, 12:29:36 PM
I want to see a cute looking dino baby savagely turn and eat a child, bite their head clean off.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on February 26, 2020, 12:38:27 PM
I hope they've somehow managed to splice the DNA of Dennis Nedry with a frog so they can bring Wayne Knight back.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: beanheadmcginty on February 26, 2020, 12:50:13 PM
The most recent one (can't remember what it's called, there's a bit with an auction) was so much shitter than its shit sequel predecessors that it didn't even feel like I was watching a film anymore. Just a load of shit happening on the screen that defied all logic or narrative sense. The only other time I've experienced this was with the last Transformers film (can't remember what it's called, Anthony Hopkins was in it) which also somehow managed to transcend the shitness of its predecessors into some sort of transdimensional uber-shitness beyond human understanding.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on February 26, 2020, 12:54:17 PM
Quote from: beanheadmcginty on February 26, 2020, 12:50:13 PM
(can't remember what it's called, there's a bit with an auction)

Its subtitle was the stupidly faux-grandiose 'Fallen Kingdom'.

'Forsooth, my liege, tis but a fallen kingdom now.'
'Are you saying we need to evacuate the island?'
'Alas, tis unmerrily so. For soon dinosauria will establish dominion over the lands of Earth. Oh, they've gone.'
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: holyzombiejesus on February 26, 2020, 12:59:00 PM
Quote from: Shit Good Nose on February 26, 2020, 12:27:41 PM
Ditto - left the cinema very disappointed.


They didn't even use real dinosaurs.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Sin Agog on February 26, 2020, 01:03:49 PM
Quote from: beanheadmcginty on February 26, 2020, 12:50:13 PM
The most recent one (can't remember what it's called, there's a bit with an auction) was so much shitter than its shit sequel predecessors that it didn't even feel like I was watching a film anymore. Just a load of shit happening on the screen that defied all logic or narrative sense. The only other time I've experienced this was with the last Transformers film (can't remember what it's called, Anthony Hopkins was in it) which also somehow managed to transcend the shitness of its predecessors into some sort of transdimensional uber-shitness beyond human understanding.

I believe this was the last movie I saw before I let my Cineworld Unlimited card expire.  It wasn't entirely J-World 2's fault; that just happened to be the last in a long line of 'load of shit happening' films I'd seen that year.  I particularly remember being very disappointed in Toby Jones for his cheque-taking appearance in such a thoroughly crap fillum.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Phil_A on February 26, 2020, 01:09:15 PM
Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on February 26, 2020, 12:38:27 PM
I hope they've somehow managed to splice the DNA of Dennis Nedry with a frog so they can bring Wayne Knight back.

Given the precedent set by the Disney Star Wars films for resurrecting dead actors, I'm fully anticipating CG Bob Peck and Pete Postlethwaite cameos
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on February 26, 2020, 01:13:27 PM
Quote from: Phil_A on February 26, 2020, 01:09:15 PM
Given the precedent set by the Disney Star Wars films for resurrecting dead actors, I'm fully anticipating CG Bob Peck and Pete Postlethwaite cameos
i was going to make a Bob Peck joke but forgot Postlethwaite was in the second one
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on February 26, 2020, 01:16:57 PM
It's going to be a looong film if they give enough material to the Old Guys so that their presence isn't just trailer-fodder (like Goldblum being in the last one for six seconds), alongside all the stuff Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard will be given to do. Looks like they're foster parents now to the clone child, so there'll be some boring screentime spent on that familial relationship.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 26, 2020, 01:23:44 PM
Quote from: Thomas on February 26, 2020, 01:16:57 PM
It's going to be a looong film if they give enough material to the Old Guys so that their presence isn't just trailer-fodder (like Goldblum being in the last one for six seconds), alongside all the stuff Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard will be given to do. Looks like they're foster parents now to the clone child, so they'll be some boring screentime spent on that familial relationship.

Don't worry - they won't extend the film beyond trailer-fodder in any sense whatsoever.




Ah man imagine if there is a t-Rex in this
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Hand Solo on February 26, 2020, 04:30:44 PM
I want a Godzooky (la la la la) type cute goody dinosaur type completely CGI sidekick character voiced by Frank Welker to fill that all important goofy Jar Jar Binks/Scrappy Doo/Slimer/Uni/Snarf type void that has always existed in the Jurassic Park franchise. Obviously it would display extreme cowardice but towards the end of the movie manage to somehow probably accidentally save the day in a heart-warming and surprising fashion wrapping up the franchise in an ultimately satisfying resolve.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 26, 2020, 04:39:46 PM
Could it be orange, please?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Hand Solo on February 26, 2020, 04:41:24 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on February 26, 2020, 04:39:46 PM
Could it be orange, please?

It could be nicknamed Teal though, to go along with the above mentioned Blue.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: SavageHedgehog on February 26, 2020, 04:46:12 PM
I thought the last one went from boring and bad (after a great opening) to entertainingly stupid. Someone said that it became like an Asylum mockbuster version of itself (complete with a weirdly cheap feel) and I'd agree with that. I'm hoping this one is more consistent.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 26, 2020, 04:48:46 PM
Quote from: Hand Solo on February 26, 2020, 04:41:24 PM
It could be nicknamed Teal though, to go along with the above mentioned Blue.

It's teal and orange though, not teal and blue.


My hope was that Orange (or maybe call it Amber or something?) would go on to fuck Blue in the final third of the movie.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on February 26, 2020, 06:16:54 PM
Quote from: SavageHedgehog on February 26, 2020, 04:46:12 PM
I thought the last one went from boring and bad (after a great opening) to entertainingly stupid. Someone said that it became like an Asylum mockbuster version of itself (complete with a weirdly cheap feel) and I'd agree with that. I'm hoping this one is more consistent.

Yeah - for its superfluous and vacuous existence, and its stupid plotting and ideas, I found Fallen Kingdom to be entertaining, the most so since the first film (though not at all in the same way). Big silly schlock. We can't expect an earnest good film out of this finale, so I hope it's maximum bollocks and I intend to enjoy it in that spirit. If a dinosaur gets onto the International Space Station I will go 'yep, good' and relax into it.

Ultimately I hate the franchise, what it represents, and its profiteering in a dearth of ideas, but I do like disengaging and watching dinosaurs killin' idiots on nicely built sets. I have so much goodwill from the sole original outing.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: lipsink on February 27, 2020, 03:47:15 PM
Quote from: idunnosomename on February 26, 2020, 01:13:27 PM
i was going to make a Bob Peck joke but forgot Postlethwaite was in the second one

Sniffing a dinosaur's dildo?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on February 27, 2020, 05:40:18 PM
Watched Jurassic World. Jurassic Park was my favourite film as a kid by far.

Rather pay the same money to sit silently in the dark for 3 hours that watch any more of this shit. cheers.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 27, 2020, 07:48:02 PM
Will this have advert breaks when it is broadcast on ITV2?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: machotrouts on February 27, 2020, 07:58:27 PM
I've only seen the first of these twenty films, and the only non-dinosaur characters I remember are Newman from Seinfeld and that guy who got eaten on the toilet. Will they be in it
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: bgmnts on February 27, 2020, 08:03:26 PM
Quote from: machotrouts on February 27, 2020, 07:58:27 PM
I've only seen the first of these twenty films, and the only non-dinosaur characters I remember are Newman from Seinfeld and that guy who got eaten on the toilet. Will they be in it

If they can bring back million year old extinct species through fossilied mosquito spaff, they can surely clone Newman and Man Eaten on Toilet. So yes, possibly.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on February 27, 2020, 08:14:29 PM
Hope the title was a misprint and the film is about a rubber clad Raptor pissing on a man's face.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: machotrouts on February 27, 2020, 08:23:00 PM
Quote from: Thomas on February 26, 2020, 12:54:17 PMIts subtitle was the stupidly faux-grandiose 'Fallen Kingdom'.

Has there ever been a more generic and forgettable big blockbuster title than "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom"? Talk to Transformer ass shit

Avengers: Fallen Kingdom
Transformers: Fallen Kingdom
Terminator: Fallen Kingdom
Independence Day: Fallen Kingdom
Top Gun: Fallen Kingdom
Star Wars Episode X: Fallen Kingdom
Metal Gear Rising: Fallen Kingdom
Fallen Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: non capisco on February 27, 2020, 09:14:30 PM
Can the new one recreate the only bit I remember from any of the sequels, please? A bloke has a kip on a plane and dreams a dinosaur is sat down on the plane opposite him saying "Alan". I'd bung that in there again if I were them.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: kalowski on February 27, 2020, 09:15:09 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on February 26, 2020, 04:48:46 PM
My hope was that Orange (or maybe call it Amber or something?) would go on to fuck Blue in the final third of the movie.
Or arse, as it's usually called.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on February 27, 2020, 10:19:12 PM
Quote from: machotrouts on February 27, 2020, 08:23:00 PM
Has there ever been a more generic and forgettable big blockbuster title than "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom"?
As far as Title : Subtitle names go, I'd say it's probably the least generic I've heard. Title: Evolution is far more hackneyed.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on February 28, 2020, 09:00:26 AM
Shit: for cunts
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: timebug on March 03, 2020, 10:26:01 AM
Liked he first one,but then they should have been honest and called the rest 'Carry On Dinosaurs....'
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 03, 2020, 11:08:24 AM
Fuck apparently there are five Carnosaur movies (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnosaur_(film_series)), if you count two which didn't use the official Carnosaur name (a privileged designation for only the best cheapo dinosploitation) but both used loads of footage from the earlier movies. I guess Jurassic Park/World feels obliged to exceed that total and regain the "most dinosaur films in a franchise (excluding Godzilla who isn't a dinosaur)" crown.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on March 04, 2020, 09:37:01 AM
Godzilla was a dinosaur. Sorry is that deadnaming a proud kaiju
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Custard on March 06, 2020, 01:49:58 AM
I quite liked Jurassic World, but never bothered with the last one

I liked when their innocent babysitter got ripped up and eaten. That was nice wasn't it
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on March 07, 2020, 08:42:44 AM
Must admit that I haven't seen Fallen Kingdom.








Thanks guys it was good to finally get it off my chest
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 07, 2020, 09:13:29 AM
Quote from: Blumf on February 26, 2020, 12:17:50 PM
I didn't even like the first Jurassic Park film.

I havent seen any of the films
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Sin Agog on March 07, 2020, 01:06:33 PM
It's hard to take dinosaurs as a serious threat now that we've found out that they're a bunch of mimsy feathery popinjays.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: bgmnts on March 07, 2020, 01:09:39 PM
Quote from: Sin Agog on March 07, 2020, 01:06:33 PM
It's hard to take dinosaurs as a serious threat now that we've found out that they're a bunch of mimsy feathery popinjays.

They'd still probably rip you to shreds though.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Mister Six on March 07, 2020, 02:34:53 PM
Jurassic World: Desolation.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on March 07, 2020, 04:21:46 PM
Quote from: Sin Agog on March 07, 2020, 01:06:33 PM
It's hard to take dinosaurs as a serious threat now that we've found out that they're a bunch of mimsy feathery popinjays.
A scary film about birds? It'll never work.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on March 08, 2020, 01:56:43 PM
Um excuse me have you heard of HITCHCOCK?!?!?

the stuffed eagle in norman bates living room is quite scary
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: dissolute ocelot on March 16, 2020, 10:26:34 AM
Just found this excellent Wikipedia page. Apparently there are no movies about killer ostriches though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_natural_horror_films
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Inspector Norse on March 16, 2020, 10:42:57 AM
Quote from: dissolute ocelot on March 16, 2020, 10:26:34 AM
Just found this excellent Wikipedia page. Apparently there are no movies about killer ostriches though.

SHARKSTRICH VS EMUGATOR coming soon to SyFy
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Keebleman on March 18, 2020, 02:03:25 AM
Quote from: dissolute ocelot on March 16, 2020, 10:26:34 AM
Apparently there are no movies about killer ostriches though.


I remember a film called Island of the Lost which had killer ostriches.  They were mutant or possibly prehistoric ostriches, but even so ostrichness was their predominant characteristic.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Glebe on March 18, 2020, 05:09:32 AM
Was there a classic sequence where they run to the Chariots of Fire theme?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on March 18, 2020, 01:35:56 PM
Quote from: bgmnts on March 07, 2020, 01:09:39 PM
They'd still probably rip you to shreds though.

Could say the same about any feather-stuffed pillowcase.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on March 18, 2020, 01:37:50 PM
Quote from: Inspector Norse on March 16, 2020, 10:42:57 AM
SHARKSTRICH VS EMUGATOR coming soon to SyFy

Sick of all these Rod Hull biopics.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on November 23, 2021, 06:20:07 PM
They have released the first 5 minutes of the movie: https://twitter.com/JurassicWorld/status/1463175339383955460

Don't like it. Can't wait to see it.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Glebe on November 23, 2021, 06:21:25 PM
Quote from: up_the_hampipe on November 23, 2021, 06:20:07 PMDon't like it. Can't wait to see it.

Heh!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Noodle Lizard on November 23, 2021, 06:24:42 PM
Didn't the last one have frickin' velociraptors with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads? Hard to know where you go from there.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: mothman on November 23, 2021, 06:36:06 PM
Was expecting the two T Rexes to start being subtitled there. Really did look like they were talking. Wonder whether they'll get all metaphysical in that the cloned dinosaur can "remember" its previous life or some shit like that.

I'm really surprised they haven't done a plot where an unknown bipedal mammalian intelligent lizard (like in that Star Trek Voyager episode) gets cloned and obviously the military try to turn them into enslaved supersoldiers with hilarious consequences...
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on November 23, 2021, 06:49:07 PM
The tyrannosaurus has very fine feathers in the completely pointless prologue. The drive-in theatre is just stupid. Does it establish anything important to the plot like the worker accident with the intelligent velociraptor? No it's literally just T rex go rar knock over cars and here are some references to things you know. Fucking awful
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Noodle Lizard on November 23, 2021, 07:14:45 PM
Quote from: mothman on November 23, 2021, 06:36:06 PMWas expecting the two T Rexes to start being subtitled there. Really did look like they were talking. Wonder whether they'll get all metaphysical in that the cloned dinosaur can "remember" its previous life or some shit like that.

It certainly seems like that's what they're going for. "65 million years later ... IT ALL ENDS."

It was a peculiarly crap fight between them, too.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Exposition on November 23, 2021, 07:42:20 PM
This is gonna be so fucking stupid and fun, both intentionally and accidentally.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on November 23, 2021, 09:00:03 PM
Quote from: idunnosomename on November 23, 2021, 06:49:07 PMThe tyrannosaurus has very fine feathers in the completely pointless prologue. The drive-in theatre is just stupid. Does it establish anything important to the plot like the worker accident with the intelligent velociraptor? No it's literally just T rex go rar knock over cars and here are some references to things you know. Fucking awful

Good compression format though
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on November 23, 2021, 09:24:54 PM
That giggy is fucking ugly, like its been designed after a horrible 1980s toy dino. Liked the Quetzalcoatlus, and the Nasutoceratops, but that's only because I'm a nerd with models of both of those.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Noodle Lizard on November 23, 2021, 09:46:13 PM
I wonder if they'll do a sort of Godfather Pt. 2 deal, where the modern-day story is intercut with flashbacks to the (prehistoric) origin story in a way which contextualizes the present.

T-Rex: Beginnings.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on November 23, 2021, 09:51:55 PM
The film will be awful, but I did think it was kind of cool to see a big budget depiction of day to day dino life without humans yapping all over it. I'd watch a whole film like that, tbh. 

Also, I know this is stupid, but it seemed kind of insulting to have
Spoiler alert
the most famous T-Rex in cinema meet it's (original) demise in such a pitiful way.
[close]
Makes it feel like we've been backing a right loser all this time.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Captain Z on November 23, 2021, 10:04:49 PM
Looking forward to the montage of the present day T-800Rex training to beat the T-1000Rex that killed it 65 million years ago.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Famous Mortimer on November 23, 2021, 10:31:45 PM
Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on February 27, 2020, 10:19:12 PMAs far as Title : Subtitle names go, I'd say it's probably the least generic I've heard. Title: Evolution is far more hackneyed.
My favourite low-rent subtitle is "American Ninja 2: The Confrontation". I mean, if there wasn't a confrontation in your ninja movie, you'd be pretty fucking upset.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on November 24, 2021, 12:09:43 PM
Would you feel conned and affronted?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Butchers Blind on November 24, 2021, 04:05:18 PM
Is this Korean?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: mothman on November 24, 2021, 07:00:46 PM
Quote from: Famous Mortimer on November 23, 2021, 10:31:45 PMMy favourite low-rent subtitle is "American Ninja 2: The Confrontation". I mean, if there wasn't a confrontation in your ninja movie, you'd be pretty fucking upset.
American Ninja 3: The Independently-Mediated Conflict Resolution.

"This is a safe space. The only throwing stars allowed are your true feelings."
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on November 24, 2021, 07:25:10 PM
Quote from: Famous Mortimer on November 23, 2021, 10:31:45 PMMy favourite low-rent subtitle is "American Ninja 2: The Confrontation". I mean, if there wasn't a confrontation in your ninja movie, you'd be pretty fucking upset.
But proper ninjas can do their victims in without any confrontation.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Famous Mortimer on November 24, 2021, 09:30:55 PM
Quote from: mothman on November 24, 2021, 07:00:46 PMAmerican Ninja 3: The Independently-Mediated Conflict Resolution.

"This is a safe space. The only throwing stars allowed are your true feelings."
American Ninja 3 has co-star Steve James wearing my favourite t-shirt ever, and former child evangelist turned actor Marjoe Gortner in an excellent villain role. But part 2 has the love interest lady give her man a huge beaming smile when he brutally kills the main baddie, which is the best scene in any of them. 

Sorry, this isn't even a little bit about Jurassic Park.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on November 24, 2021, 09:43:31 PM
The Tyrannosaur at the drive-in was like a ninja. Fifty tons of monster and it appears and slips away like a sigh on the wind.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on February 10, 2022, 04:53:12 PM
The official trailer for Ghostbusters: Afterlife Jurassic World: Dominion is here!


Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 10, 2022, 05:02:08 PM
I haven't seen the whole trailer; can anyone tell me whether there will be dinosaurs in this
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on February 10, 2022, 05:07:46 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on February 10, 2022, 05:02:08 PMI haven't seen the whole trailer; can anyone tell me whether there will be dinosaurs in this

Yes, Grant, Satler and Malcolm are back.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 10, 2022, 05:08:03 PM
Awesome; thanks
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Magnum Valentino on February 10, 2022, 05:13:58 PM
Is there a dinosaur in this where the dinosaur is a ghost?

So the dinosaur can get you but you can't get him?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: kalowski on February 10, 2022, 05:38:41 PM
Has this one got Godzuki in it?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on February 10, 2022, 05:49:51 PM
It's got a Therizinosaur in it so I'm sold. That easily manipulated.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on February 11, 2022, 11:55:43 AM
I've been thinking about these films recently, and the point of each one.

Jurassic Park is essentially a Romantic tale about the perils of interfering with nature, a modern Modern Prometheus. It is also, ultimately, Spielbergianly, not about dinosaurs at all - it's about a man embracing fatherhood. Every single interaction Alan Grant has with a dinosaur, nice or nasty, is a significant step in his spiritual journey. There is nothing arbitrary here.

The Lost World is about nothing. It could have been more explicitly about rockstar Ian Malcolm coping as an ostracised whistleblower, but we lose that thread early on.

Jurassic Park III is about nothing. It also reveals that Alan has broken up with Ellie and doesn't have children, making his poetic arc a bit depressing in hindsight. Nevertheless he does get to babysit an annoying survivalist kid in this one.

Jurassic World is a satire of itself?

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is about nothing. Filler to justify a trilogy.

I presume Jurassic World: Dominion will not buck this trend, but of course I will be going to the cinema to see it because I am a dumb boy who like dinos.

The prehistoric prologue is pretty, but - despite its science-pleasing feathers - it still tramples over really simple facts, with glaring (and totally unnecessary) anatomical mistakes and big timeline errors.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on February 11, 2022, 12:12:58 PM
There are raptors with feathers in this. Also... Italy
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Butchers Blind on February 11, 2022, 12:42:08 PM
I thought Chris Pratt would've run his course by now.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on February 11, 2022, 12:46:33 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on February 10, 2022, 05:02:08 PMI haven't seen the whole trailer; can anyone tell me whether there will be dinosaurs in this
You bet jurass.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 11, 2022, 12:52:47 PM
Quote from: Magnum Valentino on February 10, 2022, 05:13:58 PMIs there a dinosaur in this where the dinosaur is a ghost?

So the dinosaur can get you but you can't get him?

That would be so awesome
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 11, 2022, 12:53:57 PM
Has this film got an egg at the very end and a brilliant "dun dun duuuunn" cliffhanger musical sting?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 11, 2022, 12:54:52 PM
Thing is, where can they go after an entire world of it?  They should have had an interim Jurassic Land trilogy.

It's like they have spunked from Episodes 1-3 immediately to Episodes 7-9 and entirely left out the trilogy made between 1977 and 1983.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Bernice on February 11, 2022, 06:53:42 PM
I've never seen a film, why should I care?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on February 11, 2022, 08:25:25 PM
Quote from: Bernice on February 11, 2022, 06:53:42 PMI've never seen a film, why should I care?

I agree but I've managed to get through entire films by watching a maximum of 10 minutes per day.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Avril Lavigne on February 11, 2022, 09:34:34 PM
Quote from: Bernice on February 11, 2022, 06:53:42 PMI've never seen a film, why should I care?

Hey don't try to one-up my failed Ushi Must Marry thread.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Glebe on February 12, 2022, 05:16:29 PM
Trailer is okay. Nice to see the original crew back.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on February 12, 2022, 05:18:37 PM
Mind blowing fact: the first Jurassic Park film was released closer to the actual Jurassic period than it is to today.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Glebe on February 12, 2022, 07:51:01 PM
Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on February 12, 2022, 05:18:37 PMMind blowing fact: the first Jurassic Park film was released closer to the actual Jurassic period than it is to today.

(https://i.imgur.com/JZpvzSv.gif)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Cerys on February 18, 2022, 12:48:51 PM
This will inevitably be shit.

I MUST SEE IT!  MUST, MUST MUST!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: dissolute ocelot on February 19, 2022, 12:33:59 PM
How many children does it eat? Less than 20 and you can fuck off.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Captain Z on February 19, 2022, 05:15:01 PM
The Jurassic World Is Not Enough
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on April 29, 2022, 07:33:37 PM
Big trailer here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtQycgMD4HQ&ab_channel=UniversalPictures

Fans have praised the use of a massive Giganotosaurus animatronic, but in action I think it looks pretty stiff and unreal. The robot dinos haven't been filmed - or, crucially, lit - particularly well since Spielberg left the series to other directors.

Compare these lads. One moves like a real animal. The newer one rises awkwardly, as if on a see-saw (it'd look better if the camera didn't lag, exposing the full-body tilt).

(https://64.media.tumblr.com/fd9a0392fcd62b90fd962aaedb04168b/tumblr_pl6gebNyDn1s2xbj9o1_500.gifv) (https://64.media.tumblr.com/41050327994a748e8511e44122c0f592/286844374741f5a6-21/s540x810/cbc3f0dc24569e4d16527080994a8491f68033c2.gifv)

Thinks of the Triceratops in the first film - absolutely beautiful puppetry, scales scattered over with dust and grit to make it a part of its environment. The newer animatronics look fresh out of the factory, plastic.

(https://external-preview.redd.it/g_EMkWgVfp16Vzr6bFevrsQbaKfwB05zCTuOY6W7VKE.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=af0a1110fd84b29676e07edbcb039b1d45d9e774) (https://backstageedit.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/maxresdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on April 30, 2022, 09:54:07 AM
Quote from: dissolute ocelot on February 19, 2022, 12:33:59 PMHow many children does it eat? Less than 20 and you can fuck off.

I'm hoping for a recreation of the Cheerios scene from Honey I Shrunk The Kids except this time he eats them and there's a whole swimming pool's worth (and it's a summer holiday so that's even more than average).
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on April 30, 2022, 09:56:25 AM
Quote from: Thomas on April 29, 2022, 07:33:37 PMBig trailer here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtQycgMD4HQ&ab_channel=UniversalPictures

Fans have praised the use of a massive Giganotosaurus animatronic, but in action I think it looks pretty stiff and unreal. The robot dinos haven't been filmed - or, crucially, lit - particularly well since Spielberg left the series to other directors.

Compare these lads. One moves like a real animal. The newer one rises awkwardly, as if on a see-saw (it'd look better if the camera didn't lag, exposing the full-body tilt).

(https://64.media.tumblr.com/fd9a0392fcd62b90fd962aaedb04168b/tumblr_pl6gebNyDn1s2xbj9o1_500.gifv) (https://64.media.tumblr.com/41050327994a748e8511e44122c0f592/286844374741f5a6-21/s540x810/cbc3f0dc24569e4d16527080994a8491f68033c2.gifv)

Reminds me of Robo-Marge in the updated Simpsons titles.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on April 30, 2022, 09:58:19 AM
Quote from: Thomas on April 29, 2022, 07:33:37 PMThinks of the Triceratops in the first film - absolutely beautiful puppetry, scales scattered over with dust and grit to make it a part of its environment. The newer animatronics look fresh out of the factory, plastic.

(https://external-preview.redd.it/g_EMkWgVfp16Vzr6bFevrsQbaKfwB05zCTuOY6W7VKE.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=af0a1110fd84b29676e07edbcb039b1d45d9e774) (https://backstageedit.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/maxresdefault.jpg)

What's with dinosaurs looking directly into the camera and grinning in this new trilogy?  "I'm not really dying!  Tee hee!!"  *wink*
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Butchers Blind on April 30, 2022, 01:26:57 PM
Seen the trailer and from what I can see the main plot point is a baby dinosaur is kidnapped and Pratt promises the mommy dinosaur he'll get it back. Quality stuff.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: DoesNotFollow on May 03, 2022, 05:34:25 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/b85hSut.jpg)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 03, 2022, 07:32:37 AM
That hand looks like it's hovering over the dinosaur's neck there, as if there's nothing physically present in the scene.  So I assumed it was CGI when I saw it, and if it is actually an animatronic puppet they seem to have hit the sweet spot of the worst of all worlds; well done them.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 03, 2022, 08:52:20 AM
I can smell the rubber on that thing. Reminds me of Christmas morning
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: A Hat Like That on May 03, 2022, 09:55:35 AM
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTIyY2ZlNmEtMzEwMC00ZjM0LWJlNGMtZjUyMDY0OTg2NDAyXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on May 03, 2022, 01:52:27 PM
This film looks like a colossal mess. They did so little with Fallen Kingdom and now they're trying to cram everything into the finale.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 03, 2022, 01:57:15 PM
If only they had tried to return a baby dinosaur to its mother in the second film instead of saving it for this one
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 03, 2022, 01:58:19 PM
Quote from: idunnosomename on May 03, 2022, 08:52:20 AMI can smell the rubber on that thing. Reminds me of Christmas morning

Ever levitated your hand over a giant latex reconstitution of your own childhood penis.  Well it's like that except with frankly gorgeous blue eyes added to the intersection.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 03, 2022, 02:01:55 PM
Quote from: A Hat Like That on May 03, 2022, 09:55:35 AM(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTIyY2ZlNmEtMzEwMC00ZjM0LWJlNGMtZjUyMDY0OTg2NDAyXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg)

I'd smack that with the edge of a tennis racket!!

(https://thumbs.gfycat.com/RaggedUnpleasantJackal-size_restricted.gif)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 03, 2022, 02:35:31 PM
Quote from: up_the_hampipe on May 03, 2022, 01:52:27 PMThis film looks like a colossal mess. They did so little with Fallen Kingdom and now they're trying to cram everything into the finale.

Every addition to this franchise is an inadvertent argument as to why Jurassic Park should have been standalone.

One thing that annoys me, in this World trilogy especially, is that the dinosaurs have gone from being a) animals to b) geek-pleasing Marvel-like characters, complete with nicknames and personal arcs, and occasionally superpowers. The now-elderly T. rex from the first film is evidently going to undergo a wrestling-style narrative in Dominion, getting 'revenge' on the Giganotosaurus.

The rex's single 'hero' moment at the end of Jurassic Park (killing the raptors and saving the day) was earned and indulgable, but subsequent productions have extrapolated from it a very stupid direction for their creatures, culminating in... this:


The nostalgia efforts on display are blinding, too. I didn't actually think they'd be so obvious as to have Goldblum wave a flare to distract a dinosaur, to have the Big Bad flip a car on our heroes, or to dress the characters in colours parallel to those from the first film (as if Alan, Ellie, and Ian are aware of their iconography). 
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 03, 2022, 02:57:57 PM
Is Chris Pratt just going fuck Blue in this one then
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 03, 2022, 06:17:39 PM
Quote from: Thomas on May 03, 2022, 02:35:31 PMor to dress the characters in colours parallel to those from the first film (as if Alan, Ellie, and Ian are aware of their iconography).

Colours, you say?  Not just teal and orange?

When is this released again?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 03, 2022, 07:35:33 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on May 03, 2022, 06:17:39 PMColours, you say?  Not just teal and orange?

Well, approximate shades within the rigid orange/teal spectrum. Out in June.

I have really wanted these films to be and look good, especially when they utilise classic effects techniques, which is why it's with disappointment rather than sneering when I compare 1993 and 2022:

(https://64.media.tumblr.com/54ce83d58592c7c0d401aa3e4c2ebdad/tumblr_o6qx125VOj1v014w9o2_540.gifv) (https://64.media.tumblr.com/23d34a7ef65b267cd04bf7081563d8f1/b7a4e692ddb0668c-26/s540x810/17440de010f480e8927e11858fadf6a6788ade4c.gifv)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on May 03, 2022, 07:38:38 PM
That can't be real. It's Asylum film level.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 03, 2022, 08:13:51 PM
Quote from: Thomas on May 03, 2022, 07:35:33 PM(https://64.media.tumblr.com/23d34a7ef65b267cd04bf7081563d8f1/b7a4e692ddb0668c-26/s540x810/17440de010f480e8927e11858fadf6a6788ade4c.gifv)

MY HEART WILL GO ON
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: beanheadmcginty on May 03, 2022, 10:37:51 PM
Quote from: Thomas on May 03, 2022, 07:35:33 PM(https://64.media.tumblr.com/23d34a7ef65b267cd04bf7081563d8f1/b7a4e692ddb0668c-26/s540x810/17440de010f480e8927e11858fadf6a6788ade4c.gifv)




EHHHHHH RAT FANS!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Noodle Lizard on May 03, 2022, 11:08:15 PM
Excellent breakdown(s), @Thomas - you've put the disappointment into better words than I could ever hope to. It's almost confusing how boring and underwhelming (if not outright ridiculous) they've managed to make the World films given the template they had available to them, not to mention two decades of technological progress. I don't know what's exactly to blame other than the fact that it's now a "franchise" and has a few hundred different hands in it rather than (what I assume was) a comparatively singular vision in Spielberg/Crichton's original.

There's also an element of Marvelisation going on, as you say, with the dinosaurs being recurring characters with distinct personalities, high-fiving Chris Pratt or whatever, which just completely neglects everything the novel and original film is trying to say. The fear inherent in Jurassic Park, which is still very effective to this day, is entirely based in the idea of humanity/science/technology getting completely out of its depth and ultimately being reduced to the sum of its parts - being confronted by the discovery of a new fossil or skeleton is something quite different from being confronted by the thing itself. Granted, I don't think there really needed to be more than one film to get that message across, but somehow the World films fail even more at just being an entertaining big budget spectacle with dinosaurs going mad all over the place, because they're so preoccupied with the generic human drama of it all. See also: Godzilla vs. Kong - it seems almost impossible to make that film boring, but they did it (those crazy sons-of-bitches!)

That quote from the first film is most pertinent when talking about the reboots: "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should".
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 04, 2022, 10:13:52 AM
Quote from: Thomas on May 03, 2022, 07:35:33 PM(https://64.media.tumblr.com/23d34a7ef65b267cd04bf7081563d8f1/b7a4e692ddb0668c-26/s540x810/17440de010f480e8927e11858fadf6a6788ade4c.gifv)

COME TO DADDY
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Shaky on May 04, 2022, 10:15:43 AM
I finally watched the first JW about a month ago and it was fine, perfunctory entertainment at best. I don't want to watch a second of the sequels. Seeing stills for the new one with five or six main characters crammed together just looks ridiculous.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 04, 2022, 11:37:30 AM
The shocking thing for me about Jurassic World was how pathetic and dependent they decided to write the main female character.  I don't recall if I even bothered with the second one.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Noodle Lizard on May 04, 2022, 08:53:18 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on May 04, 2022, 11:37:30 AMThe shocking thing for me about Jurassic World was how pathetic and dependent they decided to write the main female character.  I don't recall if I even bothered with the second one.

I recall it got a lot of attention at the time, even from just one pre-release clip. They addressed those criticisms by having her wear badass hiking boots in the sequel!

Again, in the unenlightened 90s they were somehow able to create a perfectly capable and believable female protagonist in Laura Dern, whereas now they can't seem to get the balance right between BDH tottering around screeching in high heels and her jiu-jitsuing a T-Rex's face off or whatever. It doesn't seem like it should be that difficult.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 04, 2022, 09:01:50 PM
The most badass hiking boots conceivable would be ones that make you feel every stick and stone beneath your feet and help you sweat and rub so that you get blisters, squish your toes together so the toenails induce bleeding.  Somehow I doubt she was wearing those - they'd have given her hyper protective coddling ones.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 25, 2022, 12:59:18 PM
They're releasing loads of clips from this ahead of time. Here we see Alan and Ellie reunited for the first time since the first film! oh yeah she was in Jurassic Park 3 for a couple of minutes wasn't she


Feels off somehow. Lighting and framing is weird, Sam Neill doing a Terry Wogan at points.

The lifeblood of this Marvelised super-sequel will be nostalgia - like an enthusiastic cuckold in a specialist video, it willfully invites us to look back to the original film. But when you do, you find that it's full of incomparable charm and spirit and a really absorbing naturalism. Very distracting, Just look at the originator of the above scene:


Feels and sounds real, looks great, thoroughly dynamic.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Old Nehamkin on May 25, 2022, 01:06:29 PM
You would have to be a complete idiot to go and see this.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 25, 2022, 01:15:10 PM
Quote from: Thomas on May 25, 2022, 12:59:18 PMThe lifeblood of this Marvelised super-sequel will be nostalgia - like an enthusiastic cuckold in a specialist video, it willfully invites us to look back to the original film. But when you do, you find that it's full of incomparable charm and spirit and a really absorbing naturalism. Very distracting, Just look at the originator of the above scene:


Feels and sounds real, looks great, thoroughly dynamic.
well yes notice how entertaining things happen while the characters speak their dialogue

this is what used to be called "a movie"
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 25, 2022, 02:15:06 PM
Quote from: Old Nehamkin on May 25, 2022, 01:06:29 PMYou would have to be a complete idiot to go and see this.

I was ready to be one of those complete idiots before I saw all this promotional footage.

While we're at it, please enjoy the clunky editing in this uncannily stilted sequence:

Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Bad Ambassador on May 25, 2022, 04:28:44 PM
Jurassic Park is possibly the longest-running film series in which only the first film isn't shit.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 25, 2022, 04:33:12 PM
I sincerely hope that Sam Neill narrates Stoppit and Tidyup one day.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on May 25, 2022, 04:44:20 PM
Knowing nothing about the filming process, how is it that these modern films make it so obvious that your watching actors on a set? Everything is so lifeless, with the acting so "punctuated" for lack of a better word.

Also, the Giganotosaurus design is offensively appalling. This was a beautiful and sleek, for an 8 tonne 14 meter animal, blade mouthed super-predator, and they've turned it into an 80s monster dinotoy.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on May 25, 2022, 04:51:29 PM
Quote from: Bad Ambassador on May 25, 2022, 04:28:44 PMJurassic Park is possibly the longest-running film series in which only the first film isn't shit.

Star Wars has arguably built a far bigger legacy off the back of one genuinely great film (maybe one and half), with an enormous chunk of what followed being absolute garbage.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Mister Six on May 25, 2022, 04:57:44 PM
Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on November 24, 2021, 09:43:31 PMThe Tyrannosaur at the drive-in was like a ninja. Fifty tons of monster and it appears and slips away like a sigh on the wind.

That's been the case ever since the surprise T-rex appearance at the end of JP1, to be fair.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Mister Six on May 25, 2022, 04:59:21 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on May 25, 2022, 04:51:29 PMStar Wars has arguably built a far bigger legacy off the back of one genuinely great film (maybe one and half), with an enormous chunk of what followed being absolute garbage.

I strongly agree with all of that (assuming your one and a half is Empire and those bits of A New Hope that are struggling to get out from Lucas's cack-handed direction). And also JP2 is decent enough, if not in comparison with the original.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on May 25, 2022, 04:59:47 PM
Quote from: Thomas on May 25, 2022, 12:59:18 PMThey're releasing loads of clips from this ahead of time. Here we see Alan and Ellie reunited for the first time since the first film! oh yeah she was in Jurassic Park 3 for a couple of minutes wasn't she


Feels off somehow. Lighting and framing is weird, Sam Neill doing a Terry Wogan at points.

Fair play, he does do a properly good Wogan there. Shame the rest of the film looks like a complete dog egg.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 25, 2022, 05:00:48 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on May 25, 2022, 04:51:29 PMStar Wars has arguably built a far bigger legacy off the back of one genuinely great film (maybe one and half), with an enormous chunk of what followed being absolute garbage.

This being true, Star Wars nevertheless evokes quite an expansive world that could potentially spawn some quite decent films if some good enough film makers could step up to the plate.

It's astounding to me that Jurassic Park, Terminator and Home Alone have six films apiece.  Just the idea that there's so much to be mined if only they could dig in the right place.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on May 25, 2022, 05:01:33 PM
Quote from: Mister Six on May 25, 2022, 04:59:21 PMI strongly agree with all of that (assuming your one and a half is Empire and those bits of A New Hope that are struggling to get out from Lucas's cack-handed direction). And also JP2 is decent enough, if not in comparison with the original.

Empire is the one. My half would be the Death Star Scenes from New Hope and the Throne Room Scenes from Jedi :)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 25, 2022, 05:06:30 PM
Quote from: Poobum on May 25, 2022, 04:44:20 PMKnowing nothing about the filming process, how is it that these modern films make it so obvious that your watching actors on a set? Everything is so lifeless, with the acting so "punctuated" for lack of a better word.
lack of active camera direction i guess? also cameras are either locked off or moved on a tracking rig rather than freely moved, because of all the CGI work in post. this includes mundane effects like if one of the actors gets cancelled for being a sex pest or something they can edit them out and replace them with James Corden.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Mister Six on May 25, 2022, 05:17:01 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on May 25, 2022, 05:01:33 PMEmpire is the one. My half would be the Death Star Scenes from New Hope and the Throne Room Scenes from Jedi :)

Ha, I think there's still some scattered good stuff in the run-up to the Death Star (the Cantina, "help me, Obi-wan!", "These aren't the droids you're looking for.") but I'll grant you the throne room (although I'd say probably the latter half of it, not the overlong silent alien preamble, and I'd throw in the Sarlaac Pit, too).
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 25, 2022, 05:30:15 PM
Quote from: Poobum on May 25, 2022, 04:44:20 PMAlso, the Giganotosaurus design is offensively appalling. This was a beautiful and sleek, for an 8 tonne 14 meter animal, blade mouthed super-predator, and they've turned it into an 80s monster dinotoy.

It is extremely Godzilla-y. Previously they could cover themselves before by saying 'it's a clone, it's part frog!' or whatever, but the flashback to the Cretaceous released a few months ago crystallises these monster designs as true in the JP world.

It always surprises me to read that they have scientific consultants on these films. Despite their presence you've still got pronated monster wrists, big elephant feet on the sauropods, and shrinkwrapped skin over everything - all for no reason. A quick Wikipedia dive would correct some of these errors, and make the films look better.

They should rightly preserve the classic designs for older dinosaurs, like the original rex, but they could use their budget to showcase really cutting edge visions, as they did with their limited knowledge in 1993. The Allosaurus was wasted (it looked far more interesting way back in Walking with Dinosaurs), and they seem nervous to add much colour to the animals. The new documentary series Prehistoric Planet puts the visually conservative Jurassic World to shame with its lovely designs:

Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 25, 2022, 05:36:34 PM
"Unknown.  Unexplained??  Unbelievable, until now."

Interesting choice of inflection there Davey boy.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Mister Six on May 25, 2022, 05:55:33 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on May 25, 2022, 05:00:48 PMThis being true, Star Wars nevertheless evokes quite an expansive world that could potentially spawn some quite decent films if some good enough film makers could step up to the plate.

And if the studios can grow some balls and let go of the legacy security blanket that means everything has to be tied in some way to the characters or events of the original trilogy.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 25, 2022, 06:08:09 PM
Yeah that's the thing.  The Skywalker films should have naturally ended at Episode VI.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: A Hat Like That on May 26, 2022, 02:07:41 PM
Quote from: Poobum on May 25, 2022, 04:44:20 PMKnowing nothing about the filming process, how is it that these modern films make it so obvious that your watching actors on a set? Everything is so lifeless, with the acting so "punctuated" for lack of a better word.

Also, the Giganotosaurus design is offensively appalling. This was a beautiful and sleek, for an 8 tonne 14 meter animal, blade mouthed super-predator, and they've turned it into an 80s monster dinotoy.

Always fascinated by dinosaurs.

Anyway, how much do the big predatory dinosaurs differ in body shape etc?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on May 26, 2022, 02:39:00 PM
T-Rex type tyrannosaurs would have massive neck muscles. They had the most powerful bite of any known animal ever, one well delivered bite would break a Triceratops hip with such force that snapped teeth are found embedded in bone. T-Rex teeth are not sharp, but are strong and pointy, they're made to puncture, requiring that massive force. They also had specialized toe bones that would have supported them being very efficient long distance joggers. So overall they would be bulkier to get in personal and hold on if necessary, with strong legs that plodded it along at Usain Bolt speed at most.

The Giganotosaurus is part of the Allosaurs, specifically the Carcharodontosaurs. These had thin and sharp shark like teeth that could in no way handle the same bight force, hence longer more delicate skulls (this is very relative), less muscle and less bulk. They would have a slashing bite and would unlikely be holding on to anything as their prey wouldn't be disabled like a T-Rex's. I think the general consensus now is that a Giganotosaurus of a similar size of a T-Rex would have 1-2 tonnes less mass. There is dino called Acrocanthosaurus that is distant relative of Giganotosaurus that as the back spines, but there is no evidence Giganotosaurus supported anything like that, and for me ruins the entire shape of the animal. Though, personal opinion innit.


The Prehistoric Planet show looks brilliant, willing to subscribe to Apple TV just for that.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on May 26, 2022, 04:05:02 PM
Gonna take the excuse to share one of my favourite artists where it's kinda relevent.


(https://i.ibb.co/c6ck8Xw/jc-acro.jpg)
Acrocanthosaurus

(https://i.ibb.co/LrBZzWd/JC-Giggy.jpg)
Giganotosaurus

(https://i.ibb.co/Dt35g8Y/JC-t-rex.jpg)
T-Rex
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 26, 2022, 05:12:45 PM
That T-Rex sure is puffy around the cheek bones
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: willbo on May 27, 2022, 12:11:11 PM
Quote from: Mister Six on May 25, 2022, 05:17:01 PMHa, I think there's still some scattered good stuff in the run-up to the Death Star (the Cantina, "help me, Obi-wan!", "These aren't the droids you're looking for.") but I'll grant you the throne room (although I'd say probably the latter half of it, not the overlong silent alien preamble, and I'd throw in the Sarlaac Pit, too).

you both talking about Jabba's throne room or the Emperor's?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Mister Six on May 27, 2022, 01:36:49 PM
Oh, Jabba's. I should have said Palace. Did he even have a throne?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: willbo on May 27, 2022, 02:21:43 PM
yes, its the canon name for the slab he sits on

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81gIco2YALL._AC_SL1500_.jpg)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on May 27, 2022, 02:37:06 PM
Christ you wouldn't want to use the throne after Jabba. I'd leave that 10 minutes years if I was you mate.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Bad Ambassador on May 27, 2022, 03:34:52 PM
When he takes a dump, does it come out person-shaped?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 27, 2022, 03:58:49 PM
I always called it Jabba's dais.

Rock me Jabba's dais
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 27, 2022, 10:47:23 PM
For the 1997 and 2004 versions of A New Hope, why did Jabba look so completely different to his Return of the Jedi appearance?  They can't have been modelling him from memory, surely?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: willbo on May 27, 2022, 11:07:36 PM
I guess they had to make him small enough to fit into the scene as it existed
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on May 27, 2022, 11:12:01 PM
Quote from: Mister Six on May 27, 2022, 01:36:49 PMOh, Jabba's. I should have said Palace. Did he even have a throne?

Ha, i meant the Emperor's throne room. The Jabba stuff is good, but its so detached from the main plot, and lost to time now, with the countless edits Lucas did. But the scenes with Palpatine, Vader and Luke are arguably the best in the entire series. That tracking shot of Luke beating back Vader still gives me chills to this day.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 28, 2022, 07:00:48 AM
Quote from: willbo on May 27, 2022, 11:07:36 PMI guess they had to make him small enough to fit into the scene as it existed

Of all the choices made for the special editions, it's the inclusion of that Jabba scene that perplexes me the most.  The fact Jabba needed to be tiny so he'd meet Ford's eyeline, the fact he needed to have his tail stomped on when Han walked behind him, everything before you even get to how the CGI model looks nothing like Jabba in ROTJ anyway.

I reckon I'm hot on the button with these views, and I'm sure you agree.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: notjosh on May 28, 2022, 07:36:26 AM
Quote from: Poobum on May 25, 2022, 04:44:20 PMKnowing nothing about the filming process, how is it that these modern films make it so obvious that your watching actors on a set? Everything is so lifeless, with the acting so "punctuated" for lack of a better word.

I'm re-reading a book of conversations with Howard Hawks at the moment (incidentally, he would have been a perfect director for a Jurassic Park film). His disdain at any director who doesn't improvise and change plans during shooting is something I often think about. In the world of big budget franchise film-making, in which every script has to be signed off in triplicate and then filmed to the letter so as not to disturb the CGI team who have already been working for months, I feel like you lose a lot of this sort of thing:

QuoteThey talk about "improvisation." That's one of the silliest words that's used in the motion picture industry. What the hell do they think a director does? How do you expect that we can go out with a story that's written up in a room, go out to the location, and do it verbatim? I have never found a writer who could imagine a thing so that you can do it like that. And somebody started saying it's "improvising." Well, I wish you could see some pictures that are not improvised—where they send them out and say, "We don't want you to change a word or a scene or anything." We have a scene that we're going to do: I'm interested first in the action and next in the words they speak. If I can't make the action good, I don't use the words. If I want something to happen in a hurry, I can't have a man stop and read a line coming in. I let him run on through yelling something. I must change to fit the action because, after all, it's a motion picture. Some of the stuff that's handed to you on paper is perfectly good to read, but it isn't any good on the set. [Hawks on another occasion put this point even more forcefully, telling me, "If it reads good, it won't play good."]

Leo McCarey, whom you regarded highly, was one of the loosest of all Hollywood directors. He would literally make up whole scenes on the set. How do you feel be managed to do that?
You say "one of the loosest"—I think all the good ones are loose. None of them made a scene until they thought it was any good. I watched Leo McCarey sit on a set all morning and never do a scene. Then he'd do four hours' work in the afternoon. Directors are storytellers. If we can't change something, we're no good. Because you're not trying to photograph a budget or a cost sheet. You're trying to make a scene that's going to be good, the best you know how. If you don't, it's your own damn fault.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 28, 2022, 02:05:48 PM
One thing I've seen in a couple of Spielberg films is a setup where two sets of characters are talking. The audio focuses on one conversation, but the dialogue overlaps in this dynamic, naturalistic way. Happens when Bob Peck chats raptor (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwAOHVBKTwg&ab_channel=erve1986#t=1m10s) in Jurassic Park.

By comparison, the Jurassic World universe is disjointedly polite. Characters delivering fully formed, trailer-ready sentences, always waiting their turn. From the teasers for Dominion, it appears Goldblum, at least, is bringing some of that naturalistic energy with him.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 28, 2022, 02:33:21 PM
What's his problem with lunchboxes?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on May 30, 2022, 10:02:43 PM
This is good.

https://youtu.be/hOvRR2w3F1E

An amusingly cantankerous (and charismatic) Palaeontologist is interviewed for an hour about the depictions of dinosaurs in Jurassic Park and other media, covering a whole range of interesting facts and topics, such as:

1) The depiction of many dinosaurs getting less accurate over the Jurassic Park series.

2) Cinematic depictions of dinosaurs have moved on much less since JP than from Harryhausen's films to JP, despite 30 years of discoveries being made between each.

3) T-Rex had a massive bulge between its legs that no-one wants to show us.

4) Nothing ever shows dinosaurs acting like animals.


Plus a bunch of genuinely funny moments.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on May 30, 2022, 10:12:21 PM
Awesome. David Hone is great, has loadsa good lectures on YouTube, big on his Pterodactyls as well.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 30, 2022, 10:14:03 PM
Cheers, Kelvo, I'll listen to that tomorrow.

Quote from: Kelvin on May 30, 2022, 10:02:43 PM4) Nothing ever shows dinosaurs acting like animals.

Though it is several leagues inferior to Jurassic Park, this is something I quite like about The Lost World. Rather than acting like ceaseless starving Terminators,1 the dinosaurs behave in interesting ways. The Stegosaurs panic and protect their young, and the T. rexes similarly nest together and devote most of their energy to parental instincts. The carnivores are not all simply hungry for the entire runtime. The little Compies react to humans with curiosity before eventually deciding to try and nip them.

1. see the dinosaur in Fallen Kingdom that tries to eat Bryce Dallas Howard even as lava drops on its head.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 30, 2022, 10:25:23 PM
HAVE A PUBIS YOU T-REX
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on May 30, 2022, 11:26:36 PM
I would absolutely watch the T-Rex stands between cars, looks at the kids, then goes off to sleep for 8 hours version of Jurassic Park. Inherent slapstick to the concept; Brachiosaurus loosing its shit when someone beeps their horn, Velociraptors getting scared of random flashing lights and hiding, a Triceratops concussing itself after charging a reflective glass frontage, it writes itself.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: notjosh on May 31, 2022, 08:22:10 AM
Attenborough's just done a new Walking with Dinosaurs type thing which ought to scratch that itch:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prehistoric_Planet
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 31, 2022, 09:58:56 AM
After the tease of the big pile of shit in the first film we've never seen a dinosaur excreting have we.

Have these people ever been to a zoo or a farm? The thing about big animals is there's always great big torrents of piss shooting out of them or lumps of crap dropping out their arse. Jurassic Park would just be that times a hundred
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 31, 2022, 10:52:53 AM
Quote from: notjosh on May 31, 2022, 08:22:10 AMAttenborough's just done a new Walking with Dinosaurs type thing which ought to scratch that itch:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prehistoric_Planet

I signed up for a free Apple+ trial and devoured this. Worthy successor, at last, to Walking with Dinosaurs (though less chronological and narrative). Lots of creative speculation bolstered by scientific thinking.

And the CGI is absolutely incredible. The textures and the lighting - you'd think you were watching footage of real animals. You could probably trick a child into thinking dinosaurs still exist. Does a very fine job of placing dinosaurs in the animal kingdom, rather than presenting them as somehow fantastical and distinct from ordinary Earth creatures, as many depictions (sometimes inadvertently) do.

Even as a part-time dinosaur nerd, the visually lovely depiction of Velociraptors hopping lightly down a cliff face has retuned the way I imagine dinosaurs.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 31, 2022, 10:54:56 AM
Quote from: idunnosomename on May 31, 2022, 09:58:56 AMAfter the tease of the big pile of shit in the first film we've never seen a dinosaur excreting have we.

Have these people ever been to a zoo or a farm? The thing about big animals is there's always great big torrents of piss shooting out of them or lumps of crap dropping out their arse. Jurassic Park would just be that times a hundred

The monster Spinosaurus does some big plops offscreen in JP3. And there's a fetishistic deleted scene from JW in which Bryce Dallas Howard smears herself in shit. Fast-forward to 1:00 for the weirdly framed action.

Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on May 31, 2022, 11:08:24 AM
You've got it on the valance!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: notjosh on May 31, 2022, 08:22:10 AMAttenborough's just done a new Walking with Dinosaurs type thing which ought to scratch that itch:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prehistoric_Planet

Unfortunately it's only available on a fake television channel.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 11:50:19 AM
I remember when Walking With Dinosaurs was new, thinking the budget CGI wasn't quite ready yet.  From the trailers for Prehistoric Planet it appears that we're finally there.

I do remember Attenborough saying about 15 years ago that he would never lend his voice to such a project though.  He said he didn't want anyone to see his nature programmes and assume all the incredible creatures and landscapes were fake by association.  Which is a fair enough concern, I think.

Walking With Dinosaurs did present its imagery as if it was real nature footage however.  Maybe Prehistoric Planet is different in that regard.

Otherwise ATTENBOROUGH HAS CHANGED HIS TUNE
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on May 31, 2022, 12:24:06 PM
It's part of the Malthusian-lite philosophy he's been espousing lately, part of a drive to eradicate the surplus population of nature doc narrators. Sources suggest he's already exterminated Richard Hammond and David Tennant.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 01:12:20 PM
Why has he chosen people who look the same.  It should be their voices that matter.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: notjosh on May 31, 2022, 01:28:59 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 11:50:19 AMI do remember Attenborough saying about 15 years ago that he would never lend his voice to such a project though.  He said he didn't want anyone to see his nature programmes and assume all the incredible creatures and landscapes were fake by association.  Which is a fair enough concern, I think.

Walking With Dinosaurs did present its imagery as if it was real nature footage however.  Maybe Prehistoric Planet is different in that regard.

He's clearly not too concerned about this anymore. I only watched the first ep so far (obtained under the counter, naturally) and it's presented in exactly the same manner as his usual Wet Planet/Life on The World sort of things. I was surprised that he doesn't even acknowledge that they have employed some amount of speculation and creative license in depicting specific behaviours and building storylines. I imagine any young child watching it would struggle not to process it as documentary even when told otherwise.

The big missed opportunity, of course, is that they didn't take the effort to fake one of those 10-minute 'making of' bits at the end. Would have loved to see some Scottish cameraman camping out for weeks in Jurassic-era China hoping to spot a velociraptor, whispering with excitement as he captures one of them disembowling a stegosaurus before turning his head to see a yellow eye peering through a slit in the side of his hide...
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 01:36:37 PM
Outtakes of Robert Kilroy Silk basking in Diplodocus shit in the background of a delicate egg-hatching scene.  SILK YOU DEVIANT, GET OUT OF THE SHOT.  And then another shot, different location, Iguanodon taking sips from a lake, Robert Kilroy Silk is basking in Diplodocus shit there as well.  SILK WILL YOU GET FUCK OFF THIS ISLAND.

David Attenborough's angry voice.  You know he must have one.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 01:44:24 PM
Maybe David Attenborough is having a Bruce Willis style of decline and will narrate any old CGI shite now.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Poobum on May 31, 2022, 05:12:40 PM
Apparently I had Apple TV already.

Loved Prehistoric Planet. The best Dinosaur program there's ever been. Imbues every animal with charm and personality, getting you to empathize with them. Seeing a T-Rex swim to an island to tip over a 2 tonne dead turtle it sniffed out just opens your imagination to how expansive and amazing its world was. It really sold how massive a sauropod would be and it was heartbreaking to see that fallen bull stay in place as the herd melted away.

The babies were obviously cute and by the time the little Olorotitan turned up I'd completely forgotten they weren't real. What was really good was the little moments were they left the animals and looked at the plant life and how the entire ecosystem worked, it gave so much needed context that grounded everything else.

As a nerdy and sad child I dreamt of them finding the rest of Deinocheirus and seeing it in full glory did not disappoint. My favourite bit was the Carnotaurus dance, bladdy gorgeous, got me bending over in front of the TV even if the female wasn't impressed. I could go on and on (and on), the adorable Mononykus, the daft baby Theriznosaurs, Beelzebufo turning up, sleepy Tarbosaurs, Azhdarchids galore, there's just so much.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on June 05, 2022, 03:51:29 AM
Well, this just made me laugh...

https://youtu.be/lUUQDbsV8Gw

CGI experts try to combine the techniques that made Jurassic Park's T-Rex  scene so effective, with advanced, modern CGI techniques, in the hope of overcoming a lot of the issues that make modern CGI, like Jurassic World, look so artificial.

My advice: Watch the first 6 minutes where they explain their approach, for context,  then skip the boring techy stuff to see the reveal at 21 mins 10 seconds.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Zetetic on June 05, 2022, 06:03:52 PM
Quote from: Thomas on May 25, 2022, 12:59:18 PMThe lifeblood of this Marvelised super-sequel will be nostalgia - like an enthusiastic cuckold in a specialist video, it willfully invites us to look back to the original film. But when you do, you find that it's full of incomparable charm and spirit and a really absorbing naturalism. Very distracting, Just look at the originator of the above scene:


Feels and sounds real, looks great, thoroughly dynamic.

I've watched this a few times since @Thomas posted it, and I'm glad they did.

I think the thing I like most about it is how much it's about involving the audience with Hammond - making him extremely hard to dislike (and using his endorsement to make Alan easier to side with - IIRC, he's mostly come across as a bit weird and intense, particularly to children, at this point), and then rapidly matching that with his arrogance and use of power.

Just so... efficient (or if you prefer, respectful of the audience's time).

Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: SweetPomPom on June 05, 2022, 06:18:59 PM
Sam Neill using the Harrison Ford finger in the chest "point" - wonder if that was directed or coincidence? Can't not see it now...
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on June 07, 2022, 04:34:10 PM
It seems official now that this is indeed a honking slab of gash
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 08, 2022, 11:54:37 AM
Imagine getting the chance to make films with dinosaurs in, directly tied into the Jurassic Park franchise, and not managing to come up with something good.

They're all going to be watching Prehistoric Planet now and furious that there are actually good things that can be done with dinosaurs that nobody told them about.

I bet they'd like to start again with a whole new trilogy, but they jumped to "Jurassic World" too quickly, skipping "Jurassic Bros." so what could they call it?  "Jurassic Solar System" I suppose.  Increasingly far-fetched.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Glebe on June 08, 2022, 10:32:37 PM
Yeah looks like this has officialy been judged an absolute stinker... just saw a couple of one-star reviews and comments about all the magic of the originally having completed vanished.

Rise of Skywalker, anyone?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: 13 schoolyards on June 09, 2022, 04:02:12 AM
It's a bit of a joyless experience really. It's well made and the various chase sequences work okay (though by the third one they're getting a bit stale), but the whole thing is just "what if there were animals around that chased people?"

Which would be fine if they ever actually caught and ate someone in gory close-up, but this is basically a kids movie so we'll be having none of that.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Shaky on June 09, 2022, 08:54:00 AM
I don't usually get fussed over sequels I'll likely never watch, but out of 6 of these fuckers only the first is genuinely very good. These cunts can't be entirely driven by money so what's persuading them to keep going? There's been zero creative or narrative mileage.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 09, 2022, 09:47:17 AM
Mmm. In countries where this has already had a theatrical release, even the super-optimistic online megafans - of the Snyderbro type, who dismiss all criticism and pledge a fierce personal loyalty to a franchise - are saying '... meh'.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: timebug on June 09, 2022, 09:57:52 AM
I was given the chance to watch a 'preview' of this the othe rnight. Apparently it is between two hours fifteen minutes and two hours thirty. I lasted just under an hour. Charmless,plotless, yet another 'look what we can do with cgi' fest for the terminally simple.One of the biggest piles of crap I have ever tried to watch,and I am an avid movie-watcher.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Bad Ambassador on June 09, 2022, 10:48:29 AM
Quote from: timebug on June 09, 2022, 09:57:52 AMApparently it is between two hours fifteen minutes and two hours thirty.

Two hours 27 minutes, according to the BBFC.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 11:02:31 AM
Quote from: Shaky on June 09, 2022, 08:54:00 AMI don't usually get fussed over sequels I'll likely never watch, but out of 6 of these fuckers only the first is genuinely very good. These cunts can't be entirely driven by money so what's persuading them to keep going? There's been zero creative or narrative mileage.

They're entirely driven by money, no? Drive for profit at all costs has turned absolute must-watch IP that I loved when I was younger (simpsons, star wars, Jurassic park among others) into stuff I haven't bothered with in decades because the decline in quality and cash grab has been so blatant.

Made some hollywood cunts lots of money though, so they'll keep going. That's why they're still trying to squeeze a couple bucks out of ghostbusters or ninja turtles.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on June 09, 2022, 05:34:39 PM
1 star in The Guardian. Can't wait!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on June 09, 2022, 05:42:41 PM
It seems that this particular film series, like the dinosaurs it features, may have to go - like the dinosaurs themselves - extinct!!!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 06:59:58 PM
Quote from: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 11:02:31 AMThey're entirely driven by money, no? Drive for profit at all costs has turned absolute must-watch IP that I loved when I was younger (simpsons, star wars, Jurassic park among others) into stuff I haven't bothered with in decades because the decline in quality and cash grab has been so blatant.

Made some hollywood cunts lots of money though, so they'll keep going. That's why they're still trying to squeeze a couple bucks out of ghostbusters or ninja turtles.

Somebody needs to explain why there are six Home Alone films.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 07:03:54 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 06:59:58 PMSomebody needs to explain why there are six Home Alone films.

kevin's parents are complete bobbins?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 07:13:45 PM
Quote from: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 07:03:54 PMkevin's parents are complete bobbins?

SIX HOME ALONE FILMS
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: bgmnts on June 09, 2022, 07:20:06 PM
Anytime any of these films comes out I just heard Mike Stoklasa, Jay Baumann and Rich Evans shouting "remember Jurassic Park!?" etc
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 07:23:23 PM
Quote from: bgmnts on June 09, 2022, 07:20:06 PMAnytime any of these films comes out I just heard Mike Stoklasa, Jay Baumann and Rich Evans shouting "remember Jurassic Park!?" etc

why are they saying that in response to home alone
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 07:37:36 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 07:13:45 PMSIX HOME ALONE FILMS

i suspect their behaviour re: "accidentally" leaving him home alone is intentional at this point
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 08:15:16 PM
Quote from: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 07:37:36 PMi suspect their behaviour re: "accidentally" leaving him home alone is intentional at this point

It's not the same family every time.  They sidestep to different families and in one of them they don't even leave the boy alone for a long time, they just go to work while he pretends to be ill.

WHY ARE THERE SIX OF THEM
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on June 09, 2022, 08:25:22 PM
Quote from: idunnosomename on June 09, 2022, 05:42:41 PMIt seems that this particular film series, like the dinosaurs it features, may have to go - like the dinosaurs themselves - extinct!!!

I guess this isn't the roaring 20s after all!!!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on June 09, 2022, 09:25:23 PM
Quote from: bgmnts on June 09, 2022, 07:20:06 PMAnytime any of these films comes out I just heard Mike Stoklasa, Jay Baumann and Rich Evans shouting "remember Jurassic Park!?" etc
that idiot Mike actually liked Jurassic World
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 09:42:50 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 08:15:16 PMIt's not the same family every time.  They sidestep to different families and in one of them they don't even leave the boy alone for a long time, they just go to work while he pretends to be ill.

WHY ARE THERE SIX OF THEM

Still sounds like coordinated behaviour, probably a network of these sickos who meet up online and leave their kids behind while they go shagging in Mexico or some shit.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 09:48:52 PM
mexico isn't even that good apparently
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Goldentony on June 09, 2022, 10:36:27 PM
the third isnt Kevin, the 4th canonically is, what are 5 and 6, are they the McAllisters?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 11:05:55 PM
Quote from: Goldentony on June 09, 2022, 10:36:27 PMthe third isnt Kevin, the 4th canonically is, what are 5 and 6, are they the McAllisters?

Nope.  I've no idea why they decided to pretend it was Kevin in Home Alone 4, either.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Glebe on June 10, 2022, 01:10:30 AM
Empire have gifted it 3 stars. Of course this is Empire we're talking about.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Shaky on June 10, 2022, 10:12:41 AM
Quote from: Ferris on June 09, 2022, 11:02:31 AMThey're entirely driven by money, no? Drive for profit at all costs has turned absolute must-watch IP that I loved when I was younger (simpsons, star wars, Jurassic park among others) into stuff I haven't bothered with in decades because the decline in quality and cash grab has been so blatant.

Made some hollywood cunts lots of money though, so they'll keep going. That's why they're still trying to squeeze a couple bucks out of ghostbusters or ninja turtles.

Oh it's the bottom line sure, but for all these cast and crew members to spend months, years on these fucking things, at least some of them must feel it's creatively fulfilling. I mean I firmly believe that the likes of Spielberg, for all his financial nous, largely believes in and cares about what he makes (and when he doesn't, as with the likes of Indy 4, he's not shy of dropping a few hints after the fact).

Perhaps I'm being ultra-naive as I can't imagine wasting years of my life on something totally creatively throw-away, whatever the pay. Maybe they just tell themselves, "Next time I'll make that deep, life-altering classic," and never get around to it, a la George Lucas and all those small, intimate films he was supposed to make after the SW prequels.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 10, 2022, 11:09:02 AM
Quote from: Shaky on June 10, 2022, 10:12:41 AMOh it's the bottom line sure, but for all these cast and crew members to spend months, years on these fucking things, at least some of them must feel it's creatively fulfilling. I mean I firmly believe that the likes of Spielberg, for all his financial nous, largely believes in and cares about what he makes (and when he doesn't, as with the likes of Indy 4, he's not shy of dropping a few hints after the fact).

Spielberg has spoken quite candidly about his disappointment with The Lost World, and with his sequel work in general, so I think you're right there.

It's probably very different for smaller directors, hired hands like Colin Trevorrow. Perhaps Spielberg's wealth, comfort, and legacy afford him the space to better reflect on his work than a smaller, less secure creator. We've seen a lot of small indie directors drafted in to deal with blockbuster franchise installments lately (and we've seen a couple of them, à la Edgar Wright, drop out over creative tensions). For Trevorrow, World might have felt like a career stepping stone, an industry homework assignment, rather than a passion project. It's no surprise to learn that he was involved in the Star Wars sequel trilogy at one time. Think of how even the Game of Thrones lads rushed their ending when Big Blockbuster Franchise Contracts appeared on the horizon.

Jurassic Park had a strong philosophical core that sets it apart from its successors (it's telling that, as the best film in the series, it's also actually the one with the least dinosaur screentime). I think the World series, meanwhile, has been little more than a cash-in to sell toys and wring every last mosquito-blood drop of profit from a legacy IP.

The studio hires a safe pair of hands to deliver the product (and that's all it is), making demands from above to second-guess what will extract the most profit from audiences (I understand that the presence of classic scaly designs, as opposed to more updated feathered dinosaurs, was a studio imposition. For all its promo, Dominion seemingly only includes two feathered dinosaurs, still the outliers rather than the main vision).

We might argue that, like Matrix Resurrections, Trevorrow actually uses the first Jurassic World to subtly satirise the circumstances and conditions of its own production. However unfortunately it's too shit to rewatch,
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Dr Rock on June 10, 2022, 12:08:54 PM
Isn't this meant for children?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 12:42:55 PM
Geneuinely wondering where they go after this, a film set in a world populated with dinosaurs.

Hard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 10, 2022, 12:55:15 PM
Humanity is pretty good at wiping out species. I don't reckon dinosaurs would prove that much of a problem.

I'm paying about 35 quid (including travel fare) to see this at the imax next week. I didn't expect it to be great, but it's rather annoying to hear it's an outright stinker. Then again. I have fairly low standards for this sort of thing, so I probably won't be overly disappointed by it.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 01:15:41 PM
Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 10, 2022, 12:55:15 PMI'm paying about 35 quid (including travel fare) to see this at the imax next week.

Reads like something that should spark a family intervention.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on June 10, 2022, 01:40:23 PM
Quote from: Shaky on June 10, 2022, 10:12:41 AMOh it's the bottom line sure, but for all these cast and crew members to spend months, years on these fucking things, at least some of them must feel it's creatively fulfilling. I mean I firmly believe that the likes of Spielberg, for all his financial nous, largely believes in and cares about what he makes (and when he doesn't, as with the likes of Indy 4, he's not shy of dropping a few hints after the fact).

Perhaps I'm being ultra-naive as I can't imagine wasting years of my life on something totally creatively throw-away, whatever the pay. Maybe they just tell themselves, "Next time I'll make that deep, life-altering classic," and never get around to it, a la George Lucas and all those small, intimate films he was supposed to make after the SW prequels.

I think you'd be surprised - I've done shit work on projects because I don't care and know the minimum required.

I also think this kind of production is so huge and multi-faceted that someone working in (for example) the costume department who spent ages working their way up to lead on this project - yeah they are probably happy with it. Same for the stunt coordinators, film colourists, catering staff, etc etc etc.

Rest of the cast and crew - maybe they all think it's good, and it only becomes clear it's a total dog-egg during the final cut/edit process.

I dunno what my point is really. I don't think it's common for people to make shit films and think "yeah this one's a stinker", and I think there are organizational reasons why people may all work together and contribute far less than the sum of their respective parts.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: notjosh on June 10, 2022, 01:56:54 PM
It's also easy to lose sight of what 'good' is when you're part of the machine. In order to do your job you have to accept that you are working within certain parameters and that any creative input you have will be filtered and distorted (or ignored) by people with whom you have nothing in common. You start to look at the output of your work as "considering the restrictions under which we're working, we've done a great job!" And after a while that can easily become "considering the restrictions under which we're working, we've done a great job!" and you're all patting each other on the back thinking it's not so bad, until it's finally exposed to the daylight of other people's opinions and you're forced to concede "hang on... this is actually shit isn't it?".
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Twit 2 on June 10, 2022, 04:39:59 PM
shit for cunts
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 10, 2022, 04:47:01 PM
Quote from: Twit 2 on June 10, 2022, 04:39:59 PMshit for cunts
(https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/ian-malcom-15.jpg)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Goldentony on June 10, 2022, 05:08:21 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 12:42:55 PMGeneuinely wondering where they go after this, a film set in a world populated with dinosaurs.

Hard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?

dinosaurs that fuck
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: notjosh on June 10, 2022, 05:28:06 PM
Quote from: Goldentony on June 10, 2022, 05:08:21 PMdinosaurs that fuck

Feels pertinent to mention that there is a T-Rex sex scene in Prehistoric Planet.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: PlanktonSideburns on June 10, 2022, 05:32:00 PM
Do you recon catering teams on films are invested if the film sucks or not?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Goldentony on June 10, 2022, 05:32:37 PM
trailer for this on telly just now with no dinosaurs fucking but a dinosaur walks past a big circle like the logo so you can go AHHH SHIT JOHN LOOK
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 10, 2022, 08:37:55 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 12:42:55 PMGeneuinely wondering where they go after this, a film set in a world populated with dinosaurs.

Hard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?

Solar System yeah
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 10, 2022, 08:39:27 PM
Quote from: notjosh on June 10, 2022, 05:28:06 PMFeels pertinent to mention that there is a T-Rex sex scene in Prehistoric Planet.

pops its penis into a glory hole right, and the lady t-rex is trying to get into the cubicle with the penis going into it, but there's a different t-rex in there doing a poo that looks like a dinosaur bluto from popeye

in fact when you look at it all the t-rexes are kind of dinosaur versions of all the popeye characters

and then the dream ends
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 10, 2022, 09:16:26 PM
Just seen it. Even worse than I expected. Wow. Felt like a sort of parodic, uncanny dream.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Glebe on June 10, 2022, 09:44:15 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 12:42:55 PMGeneuinely wondering where they go after this, a film set in a world populated with dinosaurs.

Hard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?

GHOST DINOS.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 10:01:05 PM
I mean, they have considered human-dinosaur hybrids, apparently. Stuff about military uses for the dinosaurs. Hard to imagine how ghosts or space could be any stupider than that.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Old Nehamkin on June 10, 2022, 10:14:52 PM
What about they set it far in the future where dinosaurs have taken over the earth again but also become super intelligent and humans have gone extinct and they just do the first film in reverse.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: kalowski on June 10, 2022, 10:16:28 PM
"Take your hands off me you damn dirty gallimimus!"
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: jobotic on June 10, 2022, 10:24:36 PM
What about Trexxes with proper arms with hands and stegasouri with actual plates and knives and forks?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: BritishHobo on June 10, 2022, 10:52:37 PM
Fucking hell this was long. And seemed to have no idea what it wanted to do. It felt like somebody writing Mission Impossible/Jurassic Park crossover fanficton. Loads of mad action and then loads of flat expository dialogue that makes the JP characters feel like they've been frozen in amber. Might as well have done a post credits scene where Laura Dern's in hospital popping out a Sam Neill baby, and Jeff Goldblum shouts "Life, uh, finds a way!!!!" directly into camera.

Frenetic but somehow lifeless, A BIT LIKE THE DINOSAURS. Where's my Guardian column?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: JamesTC on June 11, 2022, 01:17:48 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on June 09, 2022, 07:13:45 PMSIX HOME ALONE FILMS

The six films:
(https://i.imgur.com/4ienRgo.jpg)
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on June 12, 2022, 06:45:21 PM
This was wank with a side of shit. Even the cool sequences were too stupid to fully invest in. Some nice direction, but a terrible script, awful new characters and the core group are on autopilot for that sweet sweet cash. It had potential - if it was an hour shorter it could have been overall more fun, but it wasn't. It was just shit. Maybe it didn't have potential. I dunno, extinct franchise etc.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Memorex MP3 on June 12, 2022, 07:03:59 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 12:42:55 PMHard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?
Either a hard reboot in 10+ years or a high budget videogame that ignores most everything asides from the first film.



Really need to rewatch Safety Not Guaranteed; Colin Trevorrow has had a bizarre career, he surely is just going to become some tv director at this stage?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 13, 2022, 12:57:58 PM
The film was too bad for me to list all my problems, so I'll just give special mention to the editing.

Even in a poorly written, plotted, and characterised film, proficient editing at least has the thing slither along in a competent way. Dominion is full of jarring cuts, with characters constantly switching and changing positions, like a rushed episode of a cheap soap opera. The Giganotosaurus sequence is a particular example. As the stiff animatronic plods slowly after our cast of eight or nine heroes, they repeatedly reorder and reassemble as if the scene has been chopped together from twenty undertimed takes. I believe the technical term for positioning a fuckload of characters together in one shot is blocking, and here it was evidently treated as optional.

There was only one sequence with a hint of basic potential - Bryce crawling through the forest, hiding from the blind Therizinosaurus. I thought I might enjoy Goldblum, but he was a bit too knowingly himself to actually be playing Ian Malcolm.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: ZoyzaSorris on June 13, 2022, 02:17:30 PM
All of the Jurassic World films have been a load of silly trash and this was a continuation of that tradition. (Jurassic Park itself is the only genuinely worthwhile film in the whole bunch at the end of the day).  I could still get some modicum of empty time-passing enjoyment from all the loud dvisuals (though the way they animate the dinosaurs always seems curiously disjointed from the backgrounds) but basically I think it's for kids - my kid loved it, as did seemingly most the other youngsters in the audience. I started nodding off here and there after about the 90 minute mark and missed big chunks. Don't think I missed much mind you. I have been sleeping about 5 hours a night but that wouldn't have happened in Mavericks II.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 13, 2022, 05:11:16 PM
I actually think The Lost World is quite a passable sequel.  In particular the children are substantially less annoying and awful.

In Jurassic Park why does the boy have a blood bogey smeared on his eyebrow?  So distracting.  Wipe it off.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Avril Lavigne on June 13, 2022, 10:31:29 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 12:42:55 PMGeneuinely wondering where they go after this

Maybe they could just like, stop or something.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 13, 2022, 10:38:51 PM
Jurassic World: Evolution - the dinosaurs are all birds now.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: bgmnts on June 13, 2022, 10:46:32 PM
Cyborg dinosaurs? (Dinoborgs)

Jurassic Park prequel?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: up_the_hampipe on June 13, 2022, 10:48:53 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on June 13, 2022, 05:11:16 PMI actually think The Lost World is quite a passable sequel.

It has some of the coolest sequences out of all the movies. The T-Rex parents pushing the RV over the cliff then splitting Eddie in half, the man being stalked and eaten by a pack of Compies, the Rex at the camp site, raptors in the long grass. The Rex in San Diego is a silly third act but still lots of fun.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on June 14, 2022, 03:19:43 PM
Must've been funny when they decided to bring a character back, then look up the actor and find hes a convicted nonce

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Thor

Wouldnt put it past them that they considered cloning Denis Nedry but then found they didnt have enough budget left for Wayne Knight along with everyone else
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on June 14, 2022, 10:06:32 PM
So come on, all of you who've seen it, give us the goss; why's it so awful? There must be some funny stuff to talk about...
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 14, 2022, 10:59:35 PM
I haven't seen the second Jurassic World film and as they're not on Netflix anymore I don't know when or if I will see it, and that means I'm unlikely to see the third one for ages either.

Bad planning from the hype department of Hollywood, there.  Should have stuck Jurassic World 1 and 2 on Netflix so that people can freely catch up and pay to visit the cinema for this.

Anyway, I still find it quite amazing that anyone could be given loads of budget and the Jurassic Park IP and somehow make a film that's shite.  Even if you came up with dinosaurs one by one trying to devise a board game together and squabbling themselves to death over disagreements about what the rules should be, it sounds like it'd be better than Jurassic World 3.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 15, 2022, 11:49:49 AM
Quote from: Replies From View on June 14, 2022, 10:59:35 PMI haven't seen the second Jurassic World film and as they're not on Netflix anymore I don't know when or if I will see it, and that means I'm unlikely to see the third one for ages either.

Bad planning from the hype department of Hollywood, there.  Should have stuck Jurassic World 1 and 2 on Netflix so that people can freely catch up and pay to visit the cinema for this.
This always seems to happen. I had The Lighthouse bookmarked on Netflix, only for it to disappear just before The Northman was released. I wonder if the studios, anticipating greater interest in the older film, try to charge Netflix et al more for it. They've got it arse backwards if that's the case. As you say, they should be making it freely and easily available (bollocks am I signing up to Prime and then paying extra to rent videos) to help promote the new film.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 15, 2022, 11:53:47 AM
Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 15, 2022, 11:49:49 AMThis always seems to happen. I had The Lighthouse bookmarked on Netflix, only for it to disappear just before The Northman was released. I wonder if the studios, anticipating greater interest in the older film, try to charge Netflix et al more for it. They've got it arse backwards if that's the case. As you say, they should be making it freely and easily available (bollocks am I signing up to Prime and then paying extra to rent videos) to help promote the new film.

And I've experienced them doing this before, which is why I mentioned it.  Before Spider-Man No Way Home appeared in cinemas, all the older Spider-Man films suddenly appeared on Netflix.

I'm pretty sure that the first Jurassic World appeared on Netflix in time for Fallen Kingdom arriving in cinemas too, although I could be mistaken about that.  Regardless, it has happened many times in my experience so I assumed it was the marketing norm.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Bad Ambassador on June 15, 2022, 01:20:59 PM
https://uk.newonnetflix.info/

List of new additions to Netflix everyday, with a subpage of things that are leaving in the next month.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: 13 schoolyards on June 15, 2022, 04:08:55 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on June 14, 2022, 10:06:32 PMSo come on, all of you who've seen it, give us the goss; why's it so awful? There must be some funny stuff to talk about...

Honestly, while it's not good, I didn't think it was markedly worse than any other sub-par Hollywood blockbuster - it was definitely a step above those disaster movies The Rock used to keep on turning up in, for example.

The story is stupid, the special effects are standard at best, and there's never a point where it threatens to become interesting, but as a kids movie built around a string of chase scenes it passes the time (and it's nice to see the original cast back and being given their own storyline).

It's a movie that promises a world where dinosaurs are constantly attacking cars and planes and occasionally eating someone in a bloodless fashion, and on that very basic level it delivers.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on June 15, 2022, 04:14:45 PM
Quote from: 13 schoolyards on June 15, 2022, 04:08:55 PMon that very basic level it delivers.

Well, this is very disappointing.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 15, 2022, 10:28:56 PM
I haven't got a clue which film the critics have been watching, because I enjoyed this a while heck of a lot. Sure, I went in with low expectations, and seeing it at the IMAX might have overwhelmed my critical faculties to some extent, but there's nothing I can put my finger on that marks this out as some giant turkey('s evolutionary ancestor).

The only complaint I had with it was that, until our heroes all meet up in the last act, it does feel a bit like it's switching back and forth between two films, rather than a single multithreaded plotline. It's not a significant problem though.

"Oooh. I didn't like it, because the dinosaurs didn't act like real wild animals." Wrong Attenborough, bitch!
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 15, 2022, 11:30:34 PM
I thought it failed on every level, even by its own standards. For all the dinosaurs-roaming-free setup of the preceding film (and promotional material), we very quickly end up on an enclosed island, essentially, all the main dinosaurs having been uninterestingly captured offscreen - and now they have 'neural chips' implanted in their brains, which means they can basically be remote controlled. Problem solved.

The old cast are totally wasted (misued, not pissed). What do we know about Alan Grant? A reluctant adventurer, he once loved and now loathes raptors. Finally he meets a man who has the gall to train raptors, and what interaction is birthed, what growth develops? Nothing. A mild Indiana Jones homage, complete with a lame joke where he risks his life to save his hat.

Similarly, Malcolm. Perhaps Grant and Malcolm could endure some tension - after all, according to The Lost World, Malcolm went public and suffered relentless mockery, whilst Alan apparently kept schtum and went back to digging, and they haven't seen each other since.

Here they just team up like videogame characters. Super cringey swelling of the theme when the camera first focuses on Grant. Could've been something interesting in meeting Dodgson and discovering his responsibility for the 1993 incident, but he might as well be a new character.

The nostalgic callbacks gave me a headache. At one point, Ellie, dressed as her 1993 self, takes off her sunglasses in that iconic Jurassic Park way, to... survey a field of wheat.

And it's sprinkled all over with sub-Marvel placeholder quips and a coincidence at literally every turn (the story is propelled solely by characters bumping into each other at useful moments). Also a weird retcon that undoes the Hammond-Lockwood conflict raised in Fallen Kingdom (if you care to recall it).

I realised I wasn't even enjoying it on a visual level, since most of the animatronics were quite jarring (the pointless Giganotosaurus moves like it has arthritis, and the Dimetrodons and Dilophosaurs are very obviously rooted to the spot), and the CGI is somehow still patchy.

I liked the Therizinosaurus, he was good.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Kelvin on June 16, 2022, 12:42:41 AM
Thank you, Thomas. I can die happy now.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 16, 2022, 10:28:00 AM
The displeasure is all mine.

I didn't have a problem, in theory, with the locust plot. The problem is that it's a brand new threat introduced in Dominion, superseding the big 'dinosaurs are free!' cliffhanger of Fallen Kingdom. By the end of Dominion, the new locust threat is resolved, but the original idea that people were excited about - dinosaurs roamin' free - hasn't been advanced an inch. The state of the world at the end of this era-closing sequel is the same as it was at the beginning. The only difference is that a brand new threat, not seeded in the previous five films, has been defeated.

Weird choices throughout. It's almost interesting.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on June 16, 2022, 10:31:48 AM
Does Dodgson wear a nice hat?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: 13 schoolyards on June 16, 2022, 02:51:24 PM
Quote from: Thomas on June 16, 2022, 10:28:00 AMThe displeasure is all mine.

I didn't have a problem, in theory, with the locust plot. The problem is that it's a brand new threat introduced in Dominion, superseding the big 'dinosaurs are free!' cliffhanger of Fallen Kingdom. By the end of Dominion, the new locust threat is resolved, but the original idea that people were excited about - dinosaurs roamin' free - hasn't been advanced an inch. The state of the world at the end of this era-closing sequel is the same as it was at the beginning. The only difference is that a brand new threat, not seeded in the previous five films, has been defeated.

Weird choices throughout. It's almost interesting.

I suspect they realised that they needed a really big threat - if dinosaurs are world wide, then the threat has to be world-threatening - but individual dinosaurs just wandering around chomping on random people wasn't going to cut it.

Considering every previous movie already knew this, which is why they all took place on islands or theme parks or haunted houses or only had a dino in suburbia for the final act, you'd think they might have realised this a bit earlier on.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: elliszeroed on June 16, 2022, 03:14:42 PM
Quote from: Kelvin on June 10, 2022, 10:01:05 PMI mean, they have considered human-dinosaur hybrids, apparently. Stuff about military uses for the dinosaurs. Hard to imagine how ghosts or space could be any stupider than that.

Wasn't this going to be a Rambo movie at some point? Military dinos vs Rambo.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 16, 2022, 03:35:27 PM
One thing they could have tried - just putting this out there - is sat down with maybe a big piece of paper or a whiteboard or a computer - and asked themselves the question "if dinosaurs are now free, what might happen to the world?"

I know that's far too much to ask of a film tasked with that question and no other question, but I like to reach towards extraordinary, non-obvious zones at times like this.



"They would just randomly chomp at one person after another and the film would just end.  That's all our shit imaginations can come up with :( "

Well try having better imaginations or drop out of the project then.  Isn't Hollywood normally quite brutal like that?  Why put yourself forward for a project that you're going to obstinately struggle with?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 16, 2022, 03:40:55 PM
A film where the only survivors by the end are dinosaurs would probably be quite a decent end to the franchise.  Nihilistic like Alien3.

And then if they need to do a further trilogy it would be akin to a post-apocalyptic world where there are very few human survivors attempting to crack through a dinosaur world. 
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: BritishHobo on June 16, 2022, 04:54:11 PM
Quote from: Replies From View on June 16, 2022, 03:35:27 PMOne thing they could have tried - just putting this out there - is sat down with maybe a big piece of paper or a whiteboard or a computer - and asked themselves the question "if dinosaurs are now free, what might happen to the world?"

I know that's far too much to ask of a film tasked with that question and no other question, but I like to reach towards extraordinary, non-obvious zones at times like this.



"They would just randomly chomp at one person after another and the film would just end.  That's all our shit imaginations can come up with :( "

Well try having better imaginations or drop out of the project then.  Isn't Hollywood normally quite brutal like that?  Why put yourself forward for a project that you're going to obstinately struggle with?

Indeed. Given they were bringing back the original "gang", it would have been far more interesting to see them in a story where they're navigating how humanity begins to co-exist with dinosaurs. Refocus it on the discussions of ethics that made the first film so compelling, instead of Laura Dern having to break in to find a Maguffin to prove the bad people are doing bad people stuff.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Ferris on June 16, 2022, 07:27:13 PM
Quote from: BritishHobo on June 16, 2022, 04:54:11 PMIndeed. Given they were bringing back the original "gang", it would have been far more interesting to see them in a story where they're navigating how humanity begins to co-exist with dinosaurs. Refocus it on the discussions of ethics that made the first film so compelling, instead of Laura Dern having to break in to find a Maguffin to prove the bad people are doing bad people stuff.

Spoilers! I know about the Maguffin now :(
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Goldentony on June 16, 2022, 07:49:53 PM
spoilers: the dinosaurs act like proper titheads
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 16, 2022, 07:57:10 PM
I did think it was a bit odd that the dinosaurs are sort of incidental to the main plot (they could just as easily been the ones eating all the crops) but I wouldn't call it a glaring flaw. There are still dinosaurs in the film and they're still big scary bastards.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 16, 2022, 08:53:24 PM
Quote from: 13 schoolyards on June 16, 2022, 02:51:24 PMI suspect they realised that they needed a really big threat - if dinosaurs are world wide, then the threat has to be world-threatening - but individual dinosaurs just wandering around chomping on random people wasn't going to cut it.

Considering every previous movie already knew this, which is why they all took place on islands or theme parks or haunted houses or only had a dino in suburbia for the final act, you'd think they might have realised this a bit earlier on.

Indeed. Though there's plenty of original Critchon material left to plunder. The Lost World (novel) has a dino plague in it. How about some sort of horrid prion disease spreading from the cloned dinosaurs to natural animal populations? Or a Velociraptor doing a racist TikTok?

If you are going to do giant locusts - which, in theory, is fine - try to come up with a storyline that doesn't require their wings to be fire resistant.

Quote from: BritishHobo on June 16, 2022, 04:54:11 PMinstead of Laura Dern having to break in to find a Maguffin to prove the bad people are doing bad people stuff.

Also, by the end we learn that Ramsey(?) and Malcolm knew all along about the MacGuffin, and indeed had full access to the tank of live MacGuffins. Seems simpler just to pop downstairs and do it yourself rather than enlist a palaeobotanist and a palaeontologist you nearly died with 30 years ago.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on June 17, 2022, 12:12:15 AM
Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on June 16, 2022, 07:57:10 PMThere are still dinosaurs in the film and they're still big scary bastards.

I prefer my dinosaurs to be sparkling.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: 13 schoolyards on June 17, 2022, 05:48:35 AM
Quote from: Thomas on June 16, 2022, 08:53:24 PMAlso, by the end we learn that Ramsey(?) and Malcolm knew all along about the MacGuffin, and indeed had full access to the tank of live MacGuffins. Seems simpler just to pop downstairs and do it yourself rather than enlist a palaeobotanist and a palaeontologist you nearly died with 30 years ago.

I think - and I'm almost certainly being too generous to the script here - the idea was that getting outsiders in to actually do the "stealing the sample" side of things would have left the guys working undercover with their cover stories intact so they could continue to do their spy stuff as the corporation tried to cover their tracks and so on.

Nobody expected that
Spoiler alert
the whole place would burn down and the big boss would get eaten
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Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on June 17, 2022, 11:49:29 AM
That's plausible (though still a bit of a contrived stretch that you'd enlist Ellie and Alan for your espionage job). Definitely feels like important character scenes and ideas were really pared down, for the sake of toy-selling dino appearances (the feathered lad on the frozen lake takes up a pointless few minutes, and the Malta scene goes on and on).

I got the sense from Alan's introduction that we were supposed to get a better feel for his current circumstances, performing palaeontology for tourists to keep the dig going. For about a second, as he does his little speech, you can just glimpse a couple of bored young people on their phones. The camera doesn't focus or linger on them, I just happened to being casting my eye over the background, and they appeared oddly out of place. Why were they very conspicuously staring at their phones? Are they students of Alan's? Later, Ellie briefly mentions seeing 'a lot of tourists' about the place. I think material must have been trimmed there.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Povidone on June 23, 2022, 01:37:31 PM
Arithmetick arithmetock
Turn the hands back on the clock
How does the ocean rock the boat?
How did the T-Rex find my goat?
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on July 08, 2022, 08:34:49 PM
This is now available, albeit with Korean subtitles, though I found them easy to ignore.

I'm largely with Thomas on this one, it's an almost bizarrely terrible movie, the way it sets up the idea that dinosaurs are on the loose and killing people only to drop the idea and focus on giant locusts and gm crops felt truly weird, and it's a film that lacked any threat, there's about ten heroic characters
Spoiler alert
and every single one of them emerges from the film pretty much scratch free, and apart from Campbell Scott the only characters to be killed off were nameless bad guys.
[close]

I did enjoy the chase scene in Africa if only because it was so absurd it made me laugh, with Bryce Dallas Howard seemingly an Olympic level athlete while Chris Pratt's fucking about on a motorbike was beyond idiotic, but hey, at least it moved at a decent pace and was enjoyably silly.

The only thing I'd disagree with Thomas about is Jeff Goldblum, I thought he lit up the screen when he was on it and was the only character I was actively hoping would survive - but I'll add the caveat that I currently have covid and am pretty much brain dead right now, so perhaps that's why I liked him so much.

One other thing is that I thought some of the acting was awful, the actor playing Masie Lockwood was horribly wooden, and there were some extremely minor characters over acting all over the place, including some bloke rambling away about cappuccinos in an extremely strange over the top way.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on July 11, 2022, 11:23:39 AM
I usually daydream before drifting off to sleep, and over the past couple of weeks I've come up with the story for quite a serviceable Jurassic Park 4. Too late.

I hope you recover soon from your Covid, SMBH, and that you're not feeling too rough. It would be a shame if this was the last film you ever see.

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on July 08, 2022, 08:34:49 PMincluding some bloke rambling away about cappuccinos in an extremely strange over the top way.

I hated that, a waste of Sam Neill's screentime. One of those moments where I wondered almost aloud, 'what is this film doing?' The 'brunch' bit from Justice League, repackaged. A sketch from a boomer comedy.

Anyway here's my favourite frame from this mad bad film:

Spoiler alert
(https://i.ibb.co/4RyHsZM/jw.jpg)
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Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on July 11, 2022, 11:50:35 AM
James o'Brien's found a new good Tory to be mates with
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: BritishHobo on July 11, 2022, 12:10:21 PM
There was something suspicious about the number of English-accented characters getting inexplicable chummy-awkward comedy bits. Like one of the writers loves classic Hugh Grant and wanted as much 'well, er, gosh' content as possible.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Replies From View on July 11, 2022, 12:13:08 PM
Quote from: Thomas on July 11, 2022, 11:23:39 AMI hope you recover soon from your Covid, SMBH, and that you're not feeling too rough. It would be a shame if this was the last film you ever see.

They say that you only take memories of the most recent film you saw into the afterlife with you.  It's a rule they don't have in "our" version of Desert Island Discs but St Peter is an absolute stickler apparently.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on July 11, 2022, 10:31:28 PM
Quote from: Thomas on July 11, 2022, 11:23:39 AMI hope you recover soon from your Covid, SMBH, and that you're not feeling too rough. It would be a shame if this was the last film you ever see.

Thanks Thomas, and I've already seen two other movies in the hope that if I watch enough I'll barely remember what this nonsense was all about.

QuoteI hated that, a waste of Sam Neill's screentime. One of those moments where I wondered almost aloud, 'what is this film doing?' The 'brunch' bit from Justice League, repackaged. A sketch from a boomer comedy.

I'm glad I wasn't alone on that front, in what's already a stupidly long movie to have a pointless extended scene like that one was just bizarre, I mean I guess it was supposed to be funny but I couldn't spot any parts that seemed like they should make me want to laugh, and I'm an easy laugher, a laughter slut some might even say.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: Thomas on July 12, 2022, 11:29:41 AM
It seems that blockbusters of late look to Marvel when it comes to comic moments. Every other hint of atmosphere or tone is dropped for the All-Encompassing Funny Moment, as if a film can only manage one feeling at a time.

The first Jurassic Park had some comic moments that blended perfectly with the tense stuff. 'When you gotta go, you gotta go.' The cut to the lawyer in his full suit, pulled along a river on a barge. Jeff Goldblum wiping the condensation from his window as the T. rex attacks. Lawyer plucked from the toilet. Nedry's general clumsiness. Even 'clever girl'. All funny, but you don't lose the naturalism or sense of threat that runs through the scene. Reminds me of the humour in Die Hard; none of it upends the horror of what's happening to the characters.

Compare that to Chris Pratt rolling away from the lava in Fallen Kingdom. Hugely signposted threat-free comedy sequence that evaporates all tension. I'm sure there's probably an interesting thread to be mined from 'the evolution of comedy in action movies'.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: idunnosomename on July 12, 2022, 12:05:54 PM
I always think when Nedry knocks over the sign to the docks and the arrow is knocked loose is a really funny moment. I mean partly because Wayne Knight makes it funny but he wasn't really known as a comic actor at the time

The "wheeeee" noise when he slips at the top of the waterfall is a bit much though
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: SweetPomPom on July 12, 2022, 12:37:26 PM
It's almost like Jurassic Park had a competent writer and director.
Title: Re: Jurassic World: Dominion
Post by: beanheadmcginty on July 14, 2022, 06:00:05 PM
I had no idea that all dinosaurs could be delayed from attacking you by holding out the palm of your hand in front of you. Is this why humans evolved to have hands I wonder?
This film was execrable and the only good thing about it was how ridiculously beautiful the pilot lady was.