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Forums => Picture Box => Topic started by: non capisco on November 02, 2020, 11:08:01 PM

Title: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 02, 2020, 11:08:01 PM
More detritus that you remember clear as a bell despite its complete lack of cultural worth or even interest, please.

An advert featuring someone in a possibly racist approximation of a Mexican voice going "'Ey, amigos! Eeees lunchtiiiiiiiiime!"

An early evening ITV show hosted by Andi Peters and possibly Emma Forbes filmed on a moored boat. Frank Skinner was one of the guests and was clearly fucked off with Andi Peters to the point of expressing a wish to throw Peters over the side of the boat and seeming like he meant it. David Baddiel possibly there as well, adding nothing to the situation as usual.

Floella Benjamin singing a song that went "Where's your bag, dad? My baaaaaaag?!! You left your bag, dad, in Baghdad."

The baby incarnation of Martin Fowler in a very early episode of Eastenders drowning out the other actors by talking infant gibberish loudly in the middle of a scene that transcribed as exactly this: "EXA GEXA GA GA....BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Some fuckawful "parody" of Bottom on an unidentified regional ITV late night sketch show that had the 'Richie and Eddie' substitutes chanting "Girlies, girlies, nag nag nag, all they want is a damn good..." then doing a pelvic thrust to denote the word 'shag'.

A Bugsy Malone-style advert for apples with kids playing gangsters where one of the child's lines is so incomprehensible that debate raged what it was the little prick actually said and no-one could ever figure it out.

You get the idea.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Pseudopath on November 02, 2020, 11:21:27 PM
A Bugsy Malone-style advert for apples with kids playing gangsters where one of the child's lines is so incomprehensible that debate raged what it was the little prick actually said and no-one could ever figure it out.

Oooh...I know this one. That sounds like one of the Crunch Bunch adverts. Possibly this one (https://youtu.be/wGUwTcoQh4w)? I assume the line of dialogue in question is the one that sounds like "You win this time, you spaz"?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 02, 2020, 11:25:21 PM
Quote
A Bugsy Malone-style advert for apples with kids playing gangsters where one of the child's lines is so incomprehensible that debate raged what it was the little prick actually said and no-one could ever figure it out.

'Gallstone in the gongles'
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 02, 2020, 11:28:44 PM
Oooh...I know this one. That sounds like one of the Crunch Bunch adverts. Possibly this one (https://youtu.be/wGUwTcoQh4w)? I assume the line of dialogue in question is the one that sounds like "You win this time, you spaz"?

Ha ha yeah, it's exactly that advert but the line in question isn't "You win this time, Spats", it's whatever the jumping fuck it is that girl says after the "barman" says 'Certainly.' There is no way even the most advanced audio enhancement would ever be able to throw any light on that.

"Crunchy! Give me a special."
"Certainly."
"Fees a fees and dees a fees."

YOU WHA'????
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Pseudopath on November 02, 2020, 11:36:53 PM
"Fees a fees and dees a fees."

Blimey...you're not kidding. I assumed it was a poor quality video transfer, but it sounds like they didn't even give the poor girl a mic.

One of the guys in the comments claims to have played the bartender (Spats/Spaz), so perhaps he remembers what she was supposed to be saying?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Phil_A on November 02, 2020, 11:42:45 PM
Ha ha yeah, it's exactly that advert but the line in question isn't "You win this time, Spats", it's whatever the jumping fuck it is that girl says after the "barman" says 'Certainly.' There is no way even the most advanced audio enhancement would ever be able to throw any light on that.

"Crunchy! Give me a special."
"Certainly."
"Fees a fees and dees a fees."

YOU WHA'????

Haha! It sounds like "Teedy bees and chips please"
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 02, 2020, 11:47:19 PM
Blimey...you're not kidding. I assumed it was a poor quality video transfer, but it sounds like they didn't even give the poor girl a mic.
One of the guys in the comments claims to have played the bartender (Spats/Spaz), so perhaps he remembers what she was supposed to be saying?

My best guess on this is that part of it is supposed to be "keep the change" but she doesn't even hand over any money for her apple in a glass on ice. The fact the bartender reacts to her mush mouthed pronouncement with a smug grin and a cocked eyebrow is aggravating. I'm sure he was used to lipreading in the roaring, boisterous ambience of an apple speakeasy but we as an audience are being kept at arm's length here. It's like before the studio talked David Lynch into adding subtitles to the club scene in Fire Walk With Me. We're thrown in at the deep end.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 02, 2020, 11:51:38 PM
Haha! It sounds like "Teedy bees and chips please"

The barman looks at her with a cocked eyebrow thinking "This dame always asks for fuckin teddy bears and chips. Teddy bears and fuckin chips! It's an APPLE joint! Ya can't even fuckin EAT teddy bears! She's hopped up on goofballs over herrrrre! But she's Spatz's twist so ahhhh..whaddyagonnado?"
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Captain Z on November 02, 2020, 11:57:14 PM
Cheezy Peaz and chips please!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: thecuriousorange on November 03, 2020, 12:03:39 AM
A sketch show in the nineties (not one of the big ones) had a one-off skit called "Sin Feinn" where Irish republican terrorists started getting off with each other and the police in a gay way. Does anyone remember this or know what it was?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 03, 2020, 12:29:55 AM
Blimey...you're not kidding. I assumed it was a poor quality video transfer, but it sounds like they didn't even give the poor girl a mic.

One of the guys in the comments claims to have played the bartender (Spats/Spaz), so perhaps he remembers what she was supposed to be saying?


Tami
7 months ago
Was this inspired by Busby Malone?


Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on November 03, 2020, 01:52:52 AM
I mentioned this on the comedy thread but a Junior Mastermind-type contest that went to a tie-break and the final question was on one of the contestants' specialist subjects. It was a long time before Junior Mastermind started (2004 apparently) but it was on the same format. I have it connected in my head with Nationwide, which ended in 1983  It's still in my head as one of the great 'that's just not fair!' moments in TV history. The specialist subject was something historical or archeological and the boy who won looked exactly like the sort of  kid who'd be into that stuff. I bet if you'd asked him who were the FA Cup holders or what the number one single was he wouldn't have had a clue.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on November 03, 2020, 01:59:21 AM
Oooh...I know this one. That sounds like one of the Crunch Bunch adverts. Possibly this one (https://youtu.be/wGUwTcoQh4w)? I assume the line of dialogue in question is the one that sounds like "You win this time, you spaz"?


I literally just took a bite of a golden delicious apple as I clicked on that. How very strange.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 03, 2020, 02:07:52 AM

I literally just took a bite of a golden delicious apple as I clicked on that. How very strange.

PROVE IT
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 03, 2020, 02:17:49 AM
Does anyone remember Under The Moon? It was a late night midweek sports show on Channel 4, presented by Danny Kelly, Lisa Rodgers(who once showed her Union Flag bra-DISTINCT MEMORY) and Tom Binns. It was really really good. Loads of good irreverent fun (Binns doing what I am certain was a Richard Herring impression all the way through). I used to watch it at uni even when I should have been getting to bed early.

Anyway, it was a big sprawling show which I think sometimes didn't even really have a confirmed end time so it would sometimes go on longer than it was advertised, like that late night debate thing on sofas where Oliver Reed kissed a lesbian.

Anyway.....on one particularly sprawling edition, in which possibly the hosts were being even more irreverent than usual, the guest(David Vine) walked off. He just said something like, "I've had enough of this" and fucked off. I don't recall him being unhappy during the show so it was a bit bemusing. I remember Danny Kelly seemed surprised. I don't remember any details other than that and it never crops up on YouTube. Also I don't think there was any press coverage the next day, maybe because it would have been, like, 2 in the morning when it happened.

Does anyone else remember this?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on November 03, 2020, 03:52:53 AM
PROVE IT

Come round here and I'll show you the core. Blimey!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 03, 2020, 03:56:51 AM
Come round here and I'll show you the core. Blimey!

Promises, promises.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: lazarou on November 03, 2020, 05:25:31 AM
Haha! It sounds like "Teedy bees and chips please"

If anyone's feeling any further need to drive themselves insane trying to figure it out I isolated that part, slowed it slightly and tried to clean it up a bit: https://vocaroo.com/13fVQCa5uZ7F
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 03, 2020, 05:42:23 AM
If anyone's feeling any further need to drive themselves insane trying to figure it out I isolated that part, slowed it slightly and tried to clean it up a bit: https://vocaroo.com/13fVQCa5uZ7F

Can't get it at all. Frustrating.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Mr Banlon on November 03, 2020, 06:27:48 AM
Sweetly sweetened sweet surprise (surpreeze coz she's French)
FGD apples are sweetly sweetened in the sun or whatever (they're not, they're fucking shit) and a Sweet Surprise is a cocktail (the thing he gives her is all cocktailed-up)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 03, 2020, 07:04:28 AM
I'm happy with that. Cheers, Mr. Banlon, with your bionic ears.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 03, 2020, 07:06:04 AM
and Tom Binns. It was really really good. Loads of good irreverent fun (Binns doing what I am certain was a Richard Herring impression all the way through)

I remember him doing a morning show on XFM in the late 90s and thinking he was doing a Stewart Lee impression.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Registering to lurk on November 03, 2020, 07:37:14 AM
A public information film in what must have been the style of The Beverly Hillbillies. In which the family drove around while the Pa Clampett figure lectured people about poor driving; the one I remember involved Pa Clampett nagging some people having a picnic in a layby, because they should be for emergency use.

Also, The Comet is Coming. A "prank by Nigel Calder" according to BBC Genome. With the ghost of Edmond Halley played by Tim Brooke-Taylor. A timely broadcast in 1981, five years before Halley's comet got close to the Earth.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 03, 2020, 07:45:36 AM
I remember him doing a morning show on XFM in the late 90s and thinking he was doing a Stewart Lee impression.

That's interesting. I heard that show a few times, it was quite good. I think he got sacked from it for saying something rude about the royal family. He also plays Glen Ponder's boyfriend in Knowing Me Knowing Yule.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: SpiderChrist on November 03, 2020, 08:03:22 AM
A public information film in what must have been the style of The Beverly Hillbillies. In which the family drove around while the Pa Clampett figure lectured people about poor driving; the one I remember involved Pa Clampett nagging some people having a picnic in a layby, because they should be for emergency use.

“Don’t go parkin’ in a passin’ place
Somebody needs that yard of space!”

EDIT: found it

 https://youtu.be/fywNFe5ETt8 (https://youtu.be/fywNFe5ETt8)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: George White on November 03, 2020, 08:20:00 AM
Christ, that's Bill Paterson.

When he says, "you're on holidaaaayy", his accent drops.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: SpiderChrist on November 03, 2020, 08:23:00 AM
Christ, that's Bill Paterson.

When he says, "you're on holidaaaayy", his accent drops.

Christ, so it is.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: SpiderChrist on November 03, 2020, 09:05:54 AM
I had a HIGNFY video given to me for a birthday present years ago, that included an uncut version of the Paula Yates Ian Hislop "sperm of the devil" episode. In this episode, between rounds and during the audience applause, a male voice can be heard saying (something like) "Oh my God, you're insane".

I don't have the tape anymore, but can any CABbers shed some light on who said this, and to whom?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Norton Canes on November 03, 2020, 09:42:23 AM
I bet if you'd asked him who were the FA Cup holders or what the number one single was he wouldn't have had a clue

Sadly, although I like football and pop music I too have no idea who the current holders of the FA Cup are or what the number one single is 
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: gib on November 03, 2020, 10:11:30 AM
May as well ask about this again, does anyone else remember it?

An advert for Krackerwheat or something. Bill Oddie in his birdwatching clobber out in the countryside. Kibbled wheat, kibbled rye. Just look at those kibble markings! There's another one!

edit: It wasn't on youtube 5 years ago but it's there now! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo_J3tGyECA
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on November 03, 2020, 10:37:02 AM
Sadly, although I like football and pop music I too have no idea who the current holders of the FA Cup are or what the number one single is

Me neither. But I'm a very long way past my teens now.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gurke and Hare on November 03, 2020, 10:46:13 AM
Lodged in my stupid brain for about forty years, the nonsense song Frank Spencer sung to his daughter:

Quote
There was a man, who had a cat
He fed it well, it grew so fat
He had to stroke it with a broom
And when it purred, it shook the room

One day outside, a dog it saw
And went along, to shake a paw
The dog just gave, a frightened pant
He thought it was and elephant

And did I remember to buy olive oil yesterday? Did I bollocks.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Registering to lurk on November 03, 2020, 01:30:28 PM
“Don’t go parkin’ in a passin’ place
Somebody needs that yard of space!”

EDIT: found it

 https://youtu.be/fywNFe5ETt8 (https://youtu.be/fywNFe5ETt8)


Wow. Nice find. I can't have seen that since 1975/76. It's odd to catch up with something that's only existed in my memory for 40-odd years.

I had a similar nostalgia rush several years ago when I found someone had uploaded the opening titles to the Space Sentinels cartoon to YouTube

And I still want to tell Pa Clampett to mind his own business when he leans out of the car and starts wagging his finger at the couple sitting in the layby.

I've never have been able to track down that film myself because all I remembered was the place/space rhyming couplet. And a few half-hearted Google searches for interfering Pa Clampett cunt never got me very far.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Rizla on November 03, 2020, 01:38:15 PM
Christ, that's Bill Paterson.

When he says, "you're on holidaaaayy", his accent drops.
Ally Bain on fiddle.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on November 03, 2020, 03:21:14 PM
I had a HIGNFY video given to me for a birthday present years ago, that included an uncut version of the Paula Yates Ian Hislop "sperm of the devil" episode. In this episode, between rounds and during the audience applause, a male voice can be heard saying (something like) "Oh my God, you're insane".

I don't have the tape anymore, but can any CABbers shed some light on who said this, and to whom?

I thought it was just Hislop to Paula, wasn't it?  That's my vague memory, anyway.

(I can't check either, as although I still have the tape, it's in storage.)

Btw, I might be wrong, but I think it's only uncut in the sense that it's the original episode as it went out.  I believe that the repeats broadcast after her death cut out all the most vicious stuff against her.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: batwings on November 03, 2020, 04:52:45 PM
Sometime in the 1980s: a comedy sketch show cuts away to a warning message about impending nuclear attack then a comedian (Jasper Carrot?) bursts through the message and goes ‘suckers!’. Did I dream this?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on November 03, 2020, 04:56:17 PM
I will always remember the Crunchy Nut ad with Richard Brier's voice saying, "Haney, nats and brown shugah drenched in ice old mulk!"
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: SpiderChrist on November 03, 2020, 05:24:32 PM
I thought it was just Hislop to Paula, wasn't it?  That's my vague memory, anyway.

(I can't check either, as although I still have the tape, it's in storage.)

Btw, I might be wrong, but I think it's only uncut in the sense that it's the original episode as it went out.  I believe that the repeats broadcast after her death cut out all the most vicious stuff against her.

Ah, my memory is that I didn't recognise the male voice, but it could well have been Hislop. That was an extraordinarily unedifying episode.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: petrilTanaka on November 03, 2020, 06:38:23 PM
A sketch show in the nineties (not one of the big ones) had a one-off skit called "Sin Feinn" where Irish republican terrorists started getting off with each other and the police in a gay way. Does anyone remember this or know what it was?

Alexei Sayle's Merry Go Round

"I'll come to the table... if you will"
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Famous Mortimer on November 03, 2020, 08:15:01 PM
A sketch show in the nineties (not one of the big ones) had a one-off skit called "Sin Feinn" where Irish republican terrorists started getting off with each other and the police in a gay way. Does anyone remember this or know what it was?
One of Alexei Sayle's non-Stuff series. Part of a season of erotic cinema with "Malcolm XXX".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfJ8rpaLwDM

Oh, petrilTanaka beat me to it.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Chriddof on November 03, 2020, 10:35:46 PM
Sometime in the 1980s: a comedy sketch show cuts away to a warning message about impending nuclear attack then a comedian (Jasper Carrot?) bursts through the message and goes ‘suckers!’. Did I dream this?

I think that may have been from "A Kick Up The Eighties", or its sequel "Laugh? I Nearly Paid My License Fee!". I seem to recall whatever the sketch was beforehand just cut to a still of the BBC1 globe (the "COW" version, for those of you who know such things) where a seemingly real voice-over said something about "talks having broken down, so the four minute warning has been sounded - that's except for viewers in Scotland, who will get it later tonight at 10:50". Big audience laugh, and then the BBC logo was partially replaced via a circular video wipe with the face of Robbie Coltrane, who was a regular in both series. He began to sing a song - may have been a folk song or something - as an intro to the next sketch. (The effect was that you just saw his face instead of the globe.) Then the wipe was competed and we saw the full shot of him, he finished this little bit of whatever song it was, and the sketch properly began. You might possibly be (mis)remembering that bit of Quantel-powered business, although it is the kind of stunt a lot of 80s British comedy programmes did on occasion - what you describe may very well have also been on "Carrott's Lib" or whatever.

Also the OP who mentioned the really terrible "Bottom" parody - that'll be from the atrocious "TV Squash" by Yorkshire Television, in 1992. It's been mentioned on these boards before, and I've just re-uploaded it to Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szJVfb6MTKY).
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 03, 2020, 10:55:42 PM
Also the OP who mentioned the really terrible "Bottom" parody - that'll be from the atrocious "TV Squash" by Yorkshire Television, in 1992. It's been mentioned on these boards before, and I've just re-uploaded it to Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szJVfb6MTKY).

Eurrghhhh, there it is. Worse than I remembered if anything. What else did TV Squash take a sideways look at?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Chriddof on November 03, 2020, 11:24:23 PM
It was all about a single channel's output circa 1992 being condensed down into half an hour, only "funny". First episode was all BBC1 shows, second episode was BBC2, third and fourth were ITV and Channel 4, the fifth was satellite /cable TV in general. I think there was a sixth episode that was basically bits and bobs that weren't even considered good enough to go in the previous five ones. The Channel 4 one had parodies of the Channel 4 Daily (it was recorded before The Big Breakfast made its debut, I think) and The Word.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: bomb_dog on November 04, 2020, 12:11:01 AM
The Ade impression, I’m ashamed to say, did make me laugh. But then I jump on any new posts on the L&L thread in case there’s any new top laffs.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on November 04, 2020, 12:18:12 AM
Also the OP who mentioned the really terrible "Bottom" parody - that'll be from the atrocious "TV Squash" by Yorkshire Television, in 1992. It's been mentioned on these boards before, and I've just re-uploaded it to Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szJVfb6MTKY).

Oh dear. It's like somebody doing a parody-of-a-parody. Eddie sounds more like Zippy.

Didn't Les Dennis do an impression of Alexei Sayle?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Hugo Rune on November 04, 2020, 12:51:53 AM
Ha ha yeah, it's exactly that advert but the line in question isn't "You win this time, Spats", it's whatever the jumping fuck it is that girl says after the "barman" says 'Certainly.' There is no way even the most advanced audio enhancement would ever be able to throw any light on that.

"Crunchy! Give me a special."
"Certainly."
"Fees a fees and dees a fees."

YOU WHA'????
"Two forbidden fruits please."
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Pseudopath on November 04, 2020, 03:08:08 AM
"Two forbidden fruits please."

That sounds pretty good to my ears.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Cerys on November 04, 2020, 05:28:22 AM
I'm still trying to track down the big cartoon dog called Fig.  No luck.  Phooey.

Edit - fuck me Agnes, I think I've found it!  It was called Maxidog Fig (https://youtu.be/ETvRB3CbHC0).  Over forty-four years of waiting for this to happen.  Sheesh!

Further edit to include a very old quote -

Maybe you can help me.  I remember a cartoon which always seemed to start off with a piece about a hunter and a rabbit.  The main part of the cartoon was about a dog called Fig.  I've been going nuts trying to find out what it was.  Save my brain?

I've found out that there was an episode involving a hunter and a rabbit.  Close to tears here.  It's better than a sneezily orgasmic zit-popping.  I imagine.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 04, 2020, 10:53:29 AM
Lodged in my stupid brain for about forty years, the nonsense song Frank Spencer sung to his daughter:

Likewise "Have a go, Flo, your sister's feeling low. She kicked a Christmas pudding and nearly broke her toe."
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dave The Triffids on November 04, 2020, 11:10:30 AM
Apologies if this isn't really the right place for this, but in the mid 1990's I distinctly remember Richard Madeley having a meltdown on daytime TV.  He was doing a phone-in and was pressuring the caller, using the default Madeley lasciviousness, to reveal what she had bought her boyfriend for Valentine's Day.  The caller obviously got pissed off with Richard's line of questioning and said "oh, just go and steal a bottle of wine from Tesco's, Richard!" before putting the phone down.  Cue histrionics from Madeley, who stated "Right! I knew this would come up one day..." followed by an earnest explanation of why he definitely didn't steal a bottle of wine.

I've never been able to find the footage and, to be honest, wondered many times if I imagined the whole thing....
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 04, 2020, 11:14:43 AM
Apologies if this isn't really the right place for this, but in the mid 1990's I distinctly remember Richard Madeley having a meltdown on daytime TV.  He was doing a phone-in and was pressuring the caller, using the default Madeley lasciviousness, to reveal what she had bought her boyfriend for Valentine's Day.  The caller obviously got pissed off with Richard's line of questioning and said "oh, just go and steal a bottle of wine from Tesco's, Richard!" before putting the phone down.  Cue histrionics from Madeley, who stated "Right! I knew this would come up one day..." followed by an earnest explanation of why he definitely didn't steal a bottle of wine.

I've never been able to find the footage and, to be honest, wondered many times if I imagined the whole thing....

Ha ha! Similarly when he tried to put a child chemo patient at ease by patting them on the head and saying 'Hello, baldy!'. Likewise, I'm not entirely sure that's real.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: boki on November 04, 2020, 11:53:23 AM
Does anyone remember Under The Moon? It was a late night midweek sports show on Channel 4, presented by Danny Kelly, Lisa Rodgers(who once showed her Union Flag bra-DISTINCT MEMORY)

Wasn't it an England flag bra?

I used to watch Under The Moon semi-regularly.  Gutted I missed the one where Binns was getting merked by some kid in a kickaround and he ended up shouting, "Give me the ball, you fucking cunt", though.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: the on November 04, 2020, 12:07:42 PM
Apologies if this isn't really the right place for this, but in the mid 1990's I distinctly remember Richard Madeley having a meltdown on daytime TV.  He was doing a phone-in and was pressuring the caller, using the default Madeley lasciviousness, to reveal what she had bought her boyfriend for Valentine's Day.  The caller obviously got pissed off with Richard's line of questioning and said "oh, just go and steal a bottle of wine from Tesco's, Richard!" before putting the phone down.  Cue histrionics from Madeley, who stated "Right! I knew this would come up one day..." followed by an earnest explanation of why he definitely didn't steal a bottle of wine.

I've never been able to find the footage and, to be honest, wondered many times if I imagined the whole thing....

I can assure you this did happen because I saw it too. It ended with him saying it was "libellous" and limply insinuating that he'd be within his rights to take legal action.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Artie Fufkin on November 04, 2020, 12:39:24 PM
Lodged in my stupid brain for about forty years, the nonsense song Frank Spencer sung to his daughter:

And did I remember to buy olive oil yesterday? Did I bollocks.
Little Blue. Little Blue.
Why do they call you Little Blue?
Playing in the bath one day as some of us do.
He bit his mummy's fountain pen and broke it in two.
The ink it squirted in the water. Wow!
His mummy has a blue boy now-ow-ow-ow!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 04, 2020, 12:39:46 PM
The caller obviously got pissed off with Richard's line of questioning and said "oh, just go and steal a bottle of wine from Tesco's, Richard!" before putting the phone down.  Cue histrionics from Madeley, who stated "Right! I knew this would come up one day..." followed by an earnest explanation of why he definitely didn't steal a bottle of wine.

I've never been able to find the footage and, to be honest, wondered many times if I imagined the whole thing....

I didn't see it but I definitely remember reading about it in the next days paper.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dave The Triffids on November 04, 2020, 01:01:59 PM
I can assure you this did happen because I saw it too. It ended with him saying it was "libellous" and limply insinuating that he'd be within his rights to take legal action.

Yes!  I'd forgotten about that bit until now - thanks for putting my mind at rest.  Knowing it was real makes it all the more amusing...
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Artie Fufkin on November 04, 2020, 02:09:55 PM
Whoops! Scotties!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Yussef Dent on November 04, 2020, 02:38:32 PM

An early evening ITV show hosted by Andi Peters and possibly Emma Forbes filmed on a moored boat. Frank Skinner was one of the guests and was clearly fucked off with Andi Peters to the point of expressing a wish to throw Peters over the side of the boat and seeming like he meant it. David Baddiel possibly there as well, adding nothing to the situation as usual.

I remember that and just the Frank Skinner interview, think Peters was winding him up (vaguely remember it being a bit kind of Clive Anderson was with the Bee Gees) and it was building up to a point where Skinner was going to snap. Peters, who had had some dreadful garb on, realised he'd gone too far and lamely tried to diffuse it by saying "do something funny!" and Skinner replied with "I don't think I could top that jacket."

Ha ha! Similarly when he tried to put a child chemo patient at ease by patting them on the head and saying 'Hello, baldy!'. Likewise, I'm not entirely sure that's real.

I seem to remember once Richard and Judy were interviewing this woman whose husband had gone missing and it had everyone stumped as to how he'd just vanished. The woman was on with her toddler son who was very restless and got off the sofa and wandered off behind it. I think Judy said "where's he off to?" and Richard went "he's gone missing... just like his Dad!"

Anyway.....on one particularly sprawling edition, in which possibly the hosts were being even more irreverent than usual, the guest(David Vine) walked off. He just said something like, "I've had enough of this" and fucked off. I don't recall him being unhappy during the show so it was a bit bemusing. I remember Danny Kelly seemed surprised. I don't remember any details other than that and it never crops up on YouTube. Also I don't think there was any press coverage the next day, maybe because it would have been, like, 2 in the morning when it happened.

Does anyone else remember this?

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2008/apr/06/sportfeatures.television
Here's an article about it from 2008 which mentions the Vine incident and Binns swearing at that kid. Under The Moon was great, I think at the time it was on when C4 had the NBA rights, their highlights show used to sometimes be folded into it so that's how it first caught my attention. I think when live games were on and would obviously take up a huge chunk of it but they'd just carry on going after it had finished.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Carpool Dragon on November 04, 2020, 05:00:53 PM
Apologies if this isn't really the right place for this, but in the mid 1990's I distinctly remember Richard Madeley having a meltdown on daytime TV.  He was doing a phone-in and was pressuring the caller, using the default Madeley lasciviousness, to reveal what she had bought her boyfriend for Valentine's Day.  The caller obviously got pissed off with Richard's line of questioning and said "oh, just go and steal a bottle of wine from Tesco's, Richard!" before putting the phone down.  Cue histrionics from Madeley, who stated "Right! I knew this would come up one day..." followed by an earnest explanation of why he definitely didn't steal a bottle of wine.

I've never been able to find the footage and, to be honest, wondered many times if I imagined the whole thing....

I think I've found a reference to it here (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/richard-and-judy-golden-couple-9188512.html), his comeback was pathetic.

Quote
"Go spot trains or buy yourself an anorak, love," said Richard with more feeling than usual.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gulftastic on November 04, 2020, 07:37:26 PM


Didn't Les Dennis do an impression of Alexei Sayle?

He did. In my memory it only started after Alexi did this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE8b_e16brc&t=1273s
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Famous Mortimer on November 04, 2020, 08:17:10 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2008/apr/06/sportfeatures.television
Here's an article about it from 2008 which mentions the Vine incident and Binns swearing at that kid. Under The Moon was great, I think at the time it was on when C4 had the NBA rights, their highlights show used to sometimes be folded into it so that's how it first caught my attention. I think when live games were on and would obviously take up a huge chunk of it but they'd just carry on going after it had finished.
It's weird that I not only completely missed this, but was unaware of its existence, even. Right up my alley, and I'd have been the perfect age when it was broadcast.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 05, 2020, 12:38:39 AM
Wasn't it an England flag bra?

I used to watch Under The Moon semi-regularly.  Gutted I missed the one where Binns was getting merked by some kid in a kickaround and he ended up shouting, "Give me the ball, you fucking cunt", though.

You might be right about the bra - I knew it was one of our (many) flags. Binns job seemed to be a roving reporter but I don't specifically remember any examples of where he would rove around. But he always did it with a Herring voice and in a similar style to Herring's 'character' in TMWRNJ which was on at the same time. Your example sounds funny and quite typical though.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 05, 2020, 12:43:19 AM

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2008/apr/06/sportfeatures.television
Here's an article about it from 2008 which mentions the Vine incident and Binns swearing at that kid. Under The Moon was great, I think at the time it was on when C4 had the NBA rights, their highlights show used to sometimes be folded into it so that's how it first caught my attention. I think when live games were on and would obviously take up a huge chunk of it but they'd just carry on going after it had finished.

Well that's as unexpected as it is gratifying! Thanks so much, mate. I was beginning to think I'd imagined it or misunderstood what had happened. And DK does say in that interview that if you were a fan of the show you were probably a student! I WAS!  (a shit one)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on November 05, 2020, 01:27:02 AM
He did. In my memory it only started after Alexi did this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE8b_e16brc&t=1273s

I actually remember that when it went out! He also had a pop at Clive James, and Hale and Pace I think.

RE: Under the Moon, I think Eddie Large was on it once (as mentioned before on the forum), he was also (as also discussed previously) on Fantasy Football League (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR5e8svsY1c#t=6m30s)... Baddiel makes a pretty mean-spirited joke about his weight! I'm not much of a footie fan but me mates used to watch these things, so...
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 05, 2020, 07:44:50 AM
I've mentioned it before, but I have another Madely-related one. It's still lost in the mists of time, and I still wonder if I imagined it.

The first time I saw This Morning was a most atypical episode, in which they were having a song competition to determine (IIRC) a new theme tune. Members of the public had been encouraged to send in candidates for the new theme, and the entire episode was given over to the song contest. 

The songwriters performed their songs (some of them strumming guitars or miming with DX7s on the Albert Dock), and the show's regular experts gave their views on the quality of each entry. As you might expect, the songs were pure cringe, lyrics consisting of lists of things in the programme.

Anyway, they decided on a winner pretty unanimously (I think I remember the chorus, and wish I didn't) and then the song was never heard again (except in my head).
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Brundle-Fly on November 05, 2020, 09:26:09 AM
An episode of BBC1 cross ferry soap drama Triangle where in the middle of one episode something must have happened to the VT as it suddenly started to run backward at double speed with sound.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on November 05, 2020, 10:00:31 AM
If we're talking morning TV here's one that nobody else remembers  Because they were all at work. Except me who was laid up at home for months even after getting out of hospital following the complete stranger falling on top of me incident. So The Time The Place with John Stapleton become one of my staples.

It was one of those audience participation shows with a different topic each day. One morning it was whether long distance romances can work. Remember it was pre-internet days so they were a lot more difficult then. The main interviewee was a woman who had fallen in love with a bloke in America after striking up a correspondence (he wasn't on death row or anything though) and was planning to go over and marry him.

In what was obviously meant to be the grand finale Stapleton phoned him up. I've always thought these things were set up beforehand but in this case it obviously wasn't as the bloke reacted as most people would if being woken up by a phone call in the early hours (lest we forget, the US is several hours behind) from a stranger claiming to be from a TV show in another continent asking about your personal life. He didn't swear but it's fair to say he wasn't too happy.

The final shot on the show as it went to the credits was the woman sitting there with a look of total shock on her face. She certainly wasn't expecting that. I wonder if the relationship continued after that. It was never mentioned on the show again.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 05, 2020, 11:05:22 PM
If we're talking morning TV here's one that nobody else remembers  Because they were all at work. Except me who was laid up at home for months even after getting out of hospital following the complete stranger falling on top of me incident. So The Time The Place with John Stapleton become one of my staples.

It was one of those audience participation shows with a different topic each day. One morning it was whether long distance romances can work. Remember it was pre-internet days so they were a lot more difficult then. The main interviewee was a woman who had fallen in love with a bloke in America after striking up a correspondence (he wasn't on death row or anything though) and was planning to go over and marry him.

In what was obviously meant to be the grand finale Stapleton phoned him up. I've always thought these things were set up beforehand but in this case it obviously wasn't as the bloke reacted as most people would if being woken up by a phone call in the early hours (lest we forget, the US is several hours behind) from a stranger claiming to be from a TV show in another continent asking about your personal life. He didn't swear but it's fair to say he wasn't too happy.

The final shot on the show as it went to the credits was the woman sitting there with a look of total shock on her face. She certainly wasn't expecting that. I wonder if the relationship continued after that. It was never mentioned on the show again.

God that's awful. Why would they do it like that? You'd think they'd prepare it ffs.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 05, 2020, 11:07:56 PM
I've mentioned it before, but I have another Madely-related one. It's still lost in the mists of time, and I still wonder if I imagined it.

The first time I saw This Morning was a most atypical episode, in which they were having a song competition to determine (IIRC) a new theme tune. Members of the public had been encouraged to send in candidates for the new theme, and the entire episode was given over to the song contest. 

The songwriters performed their songs (some of them strumming guitars or miming with DX7s on the Albert Dock), and the show's regular experts gave their views on the quality of each entry. As you might expect, the songs were pure cringe, lyrics consisting of lists of things in the programme.

Anyway, they decided on a winner pretty unanimously (I think I remember the chorus, and wish I didn't) and then the song was never heard again (except in my head).

I'm surprised nobody's one through Madeley's back catalogue to find stuff like this. I bet its brimming with comedic incidents of various sizes. He's a goldmine for shit like this. Remember that 3 part travelogue thing they had on YouTube a while ago of Madeley going round some area having Partridge moments and pieces to camera. I bet there's tonnes of stuff like that!

SOMEBODY! Go and do that!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Chriddof on November 05, 2020, 11:10:41 PM
I think I've mentioned this before on here, but another forgotten This Morning moment was when some bloke phoned up their resident doctor, the surname-less Dr Chris, with Richard Madeley overseeing the calls. The caller described his symptoms - which were to do with his penis - and he revealed them very very gradually in such a way that eventually the viewer at home (but not, amusingly enough, Dr Chris) realized that this was a prank call in which he was describing having a wank in a very abstract way. Something like, "the genitalia becomes very firm... there's some swelling... quite a bit of discharge..." The penny never dropped for Dr Chris, with him getting more and more confused asking this question and that, and eventually the camera cut to Richard, who very sharply cut the call off and they moved onto someone else.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 05, 2020, 11:18:06 PM
I actually remember that when it went out! He also had a pop at Clive James, and Hale and Pace I think.

RE: Under the Moon, I think Eddie Large was on it once (as mentioned before on the forum), he was also (as also discussed previously) on Fantasy Football League (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR5e8svsY1c#t=6m30s)... Baddiel makes a pretty mean-spirited joke about his weight! I'm not much of a footie fan but me mates used to watch these things, so...

I used to love they way they'd introduce the guests, and any other format feature, by singing the words again and again to the tune of Back Home. It's so brilliantly stupid.

Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: petrilTanaka on November 06, 2020, 12:48:14 PM
I used to love they way they'd introduce the guests, and any other format feature, by singing the words again and again to the tune of Back Home. It's so brilliantly stupid.

"and now for the first in a new feature..."

Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ludicrous Display on November 06, 2020, 01:43:49 PM
I'm surprised nobody's one through Madeley's back catalogue to find stuff like this. I bet its brimming with comedic incidents of various sizes. He's a goldmine for shit like this. Remember that 3 part travelogue thing they had on YouTube a while ago of Madeley going round some area having Partridge moments and pieces to camera. I bet there's tonnes of stuff like that!

SOMEBODY! Go and do that!

I was browsing the radio stations last week and he was on Talkradio in the mid morning slot, Richard Madeley's mid morning matters. I shit you not he said, "so ebola's more of a shotgun blast and covid's more rapid machine gun fire" when chatting with a scientist. Then he recounted a tale about Michael Winner eating a dodgy oyster which left him half paralysed to Katherine Ryan of all people who was on plugging something food related.

I believe he was on all week and the shows are archived on YouTube, someone, somewhere, please, do the right thing.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Pink Gregory on November 06, 2020, 08:16:33 PM
The Golden/Cinnamon Grahams ad from the early 2000s where the two kids are all 'Nu metal!' 'nah, garage!'
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: magval on November 06, 2020, 08:30:03 PM
The Golden/Cinnamon Grahams ad from the early 2000s where the two kids are all 'Nu metal!' 'nah, garage!'

I mind this!

Also remember an ad that used a Lamb of God song and another where a lad from my school played a goth who was embarassed to be seen with a Lidl bag.

Seem to remember anything that skewed towards the rock scene unexpectedly.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 06, 2020, 09:28:25 PM
I was browsing the radio stations last week and he was on Talkradio in the mid morning slot, Richard Madeley's mid morning matters. I shit you not he said, "so ebola's more of a shotgun blast and covid's more rapid machine gun fire" when chatting with a scientist. Then he recounted a tale about Michael Winner eating a dodgy oyster which left him half paralysed to Katherine Ryan of all people who was on plugging something food related.

I believe he was on all week and the shows are archived on YouTube, someone, somewhere, please, do the right thing.

Oh man. What use is AI if it can't filter the most Partridge bits of Madeley's career? He's spinning gold.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 06, 2020, 09:29:22 PM
"and now for the first in a new feature..."

"Pe-le wasshitPelewasshitpelewasn'tverygood. Pe-le...!"
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 07, 2020, 09:36:50 AM
A totally classic Madeley sequence I've mentioned before was the Bayeaux Tapestry one on (I think) Richard and Judy. I think this would have been the early 2000s. It featured several astonishing moments. To keep it very brief this time, a woman had spent 20 years making a replica of the tapestry, and the sequence involved the woman seeing her entire tapestry displayed for the first time (Madeley rotated the guest in a revolving chair and insisted she not turn her head as he spun the chair; he also made Judy lean forwards for the duration so she didn't block the guest's view). There was also the revelation that the guest had never, in 20 years, been to see the real tapestry (the programme-makers had rectified this). Madeley ended the sequence by unfavourably comparing her efforts to the real thing.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 08, 2020, 02:59:57 AM
Oh man, that's perfect. Actually I've just remembered him once doing one of those 20 questions things they have in Sunday supplements where the celeb answers some random quickfire questions. When Madeley was asked which human being he most despises, he said 'Fidel Castro'.

Just such a weirdly Partridgean choice, implying a comical backstory of some sort as to how his hatred for Castro started and developed. Even if you were right-wing (which I've never thought Richard was particularly, he doesn't seem political at all), there would be a number of people on the list before you got to the President of Cuba.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 08, 2020, 07:25:20 AM
I've just remembered quite a funny Judy moment. Back when Madonna's book Sex came out, they had a debate about it. They had someone from (I think) the publishing company on to defend the book (Madonna certainly didn't appear). The debate ended with Judy storming off, saying "Well I think it's a disgrace" or similar. But it wasn't really classic-Richard levels of funny.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: petrilTanaka on November 08, 2020, 03:40:01 PM
Oh man, that's perfect. Actually I've just remembered him once doing one of those 20 questions things they have in Sunday supplements where the celeb answers some random quickfire questions. When Madeley was asked which human being he most despises, he said 'Fidel Castro'.

Just such a weirdly Partridgean choice, implying a comical backstory of some sort as to how his hatred for Castro started and developed. Even if you were right-wing (which I've never thought Richard was particularly, he doesn't seem political at all), there would be a number of people on the list before you got to the President of Cuba.

I think he's a bit right wing but not in a state where he's capable of being aware of it. just a slow drift, still assured he's not somehow without actually thinking
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 09, 2020, 12:18:53 AM
I've just remembered quite a funny Judy moment. Back when Madonna's book Sex came out, they had a debate about it. They had someone from (I think) the publishing company on to defend the book (Madonna certainly didn't appear). The debate ended with Judy storming off, saying "Well I think it's a disgrace" or similar. But it wasn't really classic-Richard levels of funny.

She stormed off???
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 09, 2020, 12:21:35 AM
I think he's a bit right wing but not in a state where he's capable of being aware of it. just a slow drift, still assured he's not somehow without actually thinking

And I'm sure he's said progressive things at some point(although I can't remember any specific examples). I just bet there's an amusing back story to his hate of Castro. God, I'd love to live with him or something.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: dissolute ocelot on November 09, 2020, 10:07:04 AM
And I'm sure he's said progressive things at some point(although I can't remember any specific examples). I just bet there's an amusing back story to his hate of Castro. God, I'd love to live with him or something.

The Castro thing is mentioned on his Wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Madeley), and here's the original 2006 Guardian interview (https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2006/dec/16/weekend7.weekend) where Judy says she most despises Osama Bin Laden. Someone on Digital Spy recounts another incident but I'm not sure if it's true (I'm sure I've heard it about someone else):
Quote
Richard made some remark about Fidel Castro which prompted Judy to say (words to the effect of) that's not fair, he's on his deathbed to which Madeley replied "like a lot of people he murdered Judy" in a hugely patronising and dismissive way. Judy looked as close as I have ever seen her to walking off set/hitting him.
Fidel died in 2016 so if true that must refer to a separate incident?

There's also a 2017 Daily Express column by him (https://www.express.co.uk/comment/columnists/richard-and-judy/751303/jeremy-corbyn-fans-labour-brexit-donald-trump) about how awful it is that Corbyn supports Castro, that also includes Madeley's disdain for nuclear disarmament, moaning about striking railway workers, and how unpopular Corbyn was. The whole article is brilliantly Partridgean. It's written 11 years after he told the Guardian he hated Castro, so clearly a long grudge (albeit perhaps not one reciprocated by the Cubans). It's pretty clear Madeley is very anti-left wing. Was there ever a strike by workers on This Morning?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Mobbd on November 09, 2020, 12:04:54 PM
This is a great thread. The "ebola is like a shotgun blast" story had me laughing uncontrollably. I hope the neighbours could hear me through the wall. I sounded genuinely insane.

Does anyone remember some advertising buffers for Frasier on Channel 4 in the late '90s or early 2000s? They involved a man (I'm pretty sure it was Kerry Shale) in talk therapy, indulgently describing his neuroses. We then cut to the silently-listening therapist who, we learn, is nothing but a painted egg.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 09, 2020, 02:05:02 PM
She stormed off???
Yes, she (with Richard IIRC) was talking to the person defending the book. She was already a bit indignant about the book at the start of the interview. Eventually, she got annoyed and yelled "well I think it's disgusting!" or similar, and walked off set. I think the interview ended then.
To be clear, she was still in the rest of the show, she just left that particular segment. It's even possible that she was meant to walk to another part of the studio set or something at that point, but her yelling certainly gave the impression she stormed out of the interview.


But this was a long time ago - it's entirely possible/likely that the reality wasn't as I remember it.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 09, 2020, 02:06:24 PM
And I'm sure he's said progressive things at some point(although I can't remember any specific examples). I just bet there's an amusing back story to his hate of Castro. God, I'd love to live with him or something.
Madeley has definitely said progressive things (e.g. supporting gay phone-in callers). Like everyone, he's probably complicated.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 09, 2020, 02:10:40 PM
It's pretty clear Madeley is very anti-left wing. Was there ever a strike by workers on This Morning?
The staff of his production company once walked out because the Chocolate Oranges he gave them at Easter had damaged boxes.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jobotic on November 09, 2020, 02:16:42 PM
What does Judy care about Madonna's Sex book?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 09, 2020, 04:57:49 PM
What does Judy care about Madonna's Sex book?
The book was pretty outrageous at the time and IIRC she was outraged by its level of explicitness. It's not surprising that a book designed to be outrageous outrages some people.
That said, I'm starting to doubt my memory that it was Judy who stormed off. It could have been a stand-in presenter. Someone definitely did, though.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jobotic on November 09, 2020, 05:08:05 PM
Yeah I remember it but it's not like they were giving it out in school. Didn't know Judy was a Helen Lovejoy.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 09, 2020, 05:09:17 PM
Is it possible she'd found a mocked up version lying round the office where someone had shopped Richard's head onto the body of Vanilla Ice?

Or the more prosaic and likely explanation for her ire, she'd walked in on Richard rubbing one out to it?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Artie Fufkin on November 10, 2020, 07:59:16 AM
We then cut to the silently-listening therapist who, we learn, is nothing but a painted egg.
Some kind of nut, wasn't it?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: magval on November 10, 2020, 09:09:14 AM
Do you get to see Madonna's bum and fanny and boobies in that book?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: daf on November 10, 2020, 09:53:54 AM
Hardly any really - I saw a PDF of it online, and it seemed to be just moody black and white stuff with leather and whips - not worth a wank.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jittlebags on November 10, 2020, 10:22:17 AM
Do you get to see Madonna's bum and fanny and boobies in that book?

Madge's Minge. Yes.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jittlebags on November 10, 2020, 10:23:51 AM
Actually, Madge's Vadge sounds more pleasing.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Norton Canes on November 10, 2020, 10:27:46 AM
They had a display copy of her book in Waterstones - on a plinth right in the middle of the shop, daring all the pervs to take a look.

Took me three days to pluck up the courage.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 10, 2020, 11:44:28 AM
Do you get to see Madonna's bum and fanny and boobies in that book?

By that stage we'd seen them already.  I remember the book was being sold sealed in silver foil so you couldn't leaf through it in the shop unless there was an opened one on the shelf, which there never was because it sold like the literal hot cakes.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Norton Canes on November 10, 2020, 11:51:29 AM
Er... ^^
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: magval on November 10, 2020, 03:20:25 PM
If there are willies in the book do you get to see them going into the fanny?

Cool OK, I'm done with this bit.

Cheers!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 10, 2020, 03:51:17 PM
Er... ^^

Perhaps the people in Waterstones were more well-behaved than the people in Virgin Records (or HMV, I forget which but one of those two) where I witnessed someone put a bunch of the books on the shelves only for them to be picked clean by pervs like locusts on a leafy thing.  It was not long after publication date though, an unsold copy would probably have survived for longer after the pervs had had their fill.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Norton Canes on November 10, 2020, 04:29:29 PM
Or their empty, so to speak. Like I say, the copy in Waterstones was positioned right in the middle of the room, so impossible to browse furtively. You could see people lurking around the nearest shelves for ages, glancing over at it, hoping I guess that everyone else would leave the shop.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 11, 2020, 12:06:45 AM
Remember when the Justify My Love video came out on its own VHS with an 18 certificate? Madonna laughing all the way to the bank, there. I think the furthest it goes into 18 certificate territory is a topless woman with her nips concealed by a pair of braces grabbing a bloke in vaguely S&M trousers but they also could be like a pair of strides one of the Thundercats would have worn. I fear it was the brief shot of two blokes having a cuddle that may have earned it's STRICTLY ADULTS ONLY certification. I'm not denying it's a sexy video but it's exactly as explicit as the subsequent SNL Wayne's World parody and I can only speculate that they slapped an 18 on it because "There's woofters in this, Brian." Still, one 5 minute music video on a sell through VHS? They were getting away with murder on that format. Two Simpsons series 1 episodes, that'll be £12 please.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 11, 2020, 01:00:58 AM
I remember when George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" video was banned, and it was pre-announced that one of the record shops (HMV or Virgin) would be screening it at some particular time.  The shop was absolutely RAMMED when they showed it, on a few normal-sized TV's dotted around the place.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 11, 2020, 01:05:11 AM
The Castro thing is mentioned on his Wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Madeley), and here's the original 2006 Guardian interview (https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2006/dec/16/weekend7.weekend) where Judy says she most despises Osama Bin Laden. Someone on Digital Spy recounts another incident but I'm not sure if it's true (I'm sure I've heard it about someone else):Fidel died in 2016 so if true that must refer to a separate incident?

There's also a 2017 Daily Express column by him (https://www.express.co.uk/comment/columnists/richard-and-judy/751303/jeremy-corbyn-fans-labour-brexit-donald-trump) about how awful it is that Corbyn supports Castro, that also includes Madeley's disdain for nuclear disarmament, moaning about striking railway workers, and how unpopular Corbyn was. The whole article is brilliantly Partridgean. It's written 11 years after he told the Guardian he hated Castro, so clearly a long grudge (albeit perhaps not one reciprocated by the Cubans). It's pretty clear Madeley is very anti-left wing. Was there ever a strike by workers on This Morning?

That's great, thanks for posting all that. This thread is working to convince me that maybe I don't have dementia after all. Would love to know why he's fixated with Fidel. Seems like Judy's heard it all before many times. So funny!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 11, 2020, 01:06:14 AM
The staff of his production company once walked out because the Chocolate Oranges he gave them at Easter had damaged boxes.

BOOM!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 11, 2020, 01:07:11 AM
Yes, she (with Richard IIRC) was talking to the person defending the book. She was already a bit indignant about the book at the start of the interview. Eventually, she got annoyed and yelled "well I think it's disgusting!" or similar, and walked off set. I think the interview ended then.
To be clear, she was still in the rest of the show, she just left that particular segment. It's even possible that she was meant to walk to another part of the studio set or something at that point, but her yelling certainly gave the impression she stormed out of the interview.


But this was a long time ago - it's entirely possible/likely that the reality wasn't as I remember it.

It's like that bit in The Day Today where Chris storms out of his own interview. Another Partridge connection!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 11, 2020, 01:08:42 AM
Yeah I remember it but it's not like they were giving it out in school. Didn't know Judy was a Helen Lovejoy.

Especially with her history of DISGRACEFUL public nudity.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 11, 2020, 01:10:28 AM
Remember when the Justify My Love video came out on its own VHS with an 18 certificate? Madonna laughing all the way to the bank, there. I think the furthest it goes into 18 certificate territory is a topless woman with her nips concealed by a pair of braces grabbing a bloke in vaguely S&M trousers but they also could be like a pair of strides one of the Thundercats would have worn. I fear it was the brief shot of two blokes having a cuddle that may have earned it's STRICTLY ADULTS ONLY certification. I'm not denying it's a sexy video but it's exactly as explicit as the subsequent SNL Wayne's World parody and I can only speculate that they slapped an 18 on it because "There's woofters in this, Brian." Still, one 5 minute music video on a sell through VHS? They were getting away with murder on that format. Two Simpsons series 1 episodes, that'll be £12 please.

There's lezzers in it too, mate! PHWOOAAARRRRHH!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on November 11, 2020, 01:11:52 AM
As a wee lad, two chins singing "What is the point of killing yourself to live?" on The Tube. No, really. Cracked me and me friend up.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 11, 2020, 01:14:01 AM
I remember when George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" video was banned, and it was pre-announced that one of the record shops (HMV or Virgin) would be screening it at some particular time.  The shop was absolutely RAMMED when they showed it, on a few normal-sized TV's dotted around the place.

Because that song was banned from the radio, me and my friend convinced another boy that it was to the same tune as 'Faith' but with different lyrics. "I a-want your sex a-sex a-sex! I want a-your sex!" And he fell for it like the fascist he was! Interesting fact: I've still never heard the song and have no idea how it goes
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Pseudopath on November 11, 2020, 02:44:28 AM
Because that song was banned from the radio, me and my friend convinced another boy that it was to the same tune as 'Faith' but with different lyrics. "I a-want your sex a-sex a-sex! I want a-your sex!" And he fell for it like the fascist he was! Interesting fact: I've still never heard the song and have no idea how it goes

Ha ha! You weren't actually far wrong.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 11, 2020, 02:52:37 AM
Ha ha! You weren't actually far wrong.

Ooooh!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: George White on November 11, 2020, 07:33:32 PM
Javine Hylton on Come Dine with Me thinking Jan Leeming was called Jan Mee Ling, and that she was Chinese, so made her a Chinese banquet, and then her mum said, "That's not JAn Mee Ling,  it's Jan Meeling (sic)".
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Absorb the anus burn on November 11, 2020, 07:40:12 PM
As a wee lad, two chins singing "What is the point of killing yourself to live?" on The Tube. No, really. Cracked me and me friend up.

I remember this... Might have been 'Def 2' / Snub TV.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 12, 2020, 01:53:17 AM
I remember the episode of "Why Don't You" where they got a new theme tune (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaQdSDeveiQ), but years later I realised they were telling a blatant lie.  They way I remember them introducing it was to say a kid had sent in a cassette with a letter basically saying "I recorded you a new theme tune", they played the cassette, and it was instated as the new theme from the very next episode.  Obviously that can't have been the truth as it's obviously professionally recorded - and sounds slight speeded up - and isn't something a kid dashed off on their tape recorder.

Another old memory is of two kids on Swap Shop singing a song with the lyrics "I hate babysitters", one kid singing the other with a keyboard constantly playing the same note over and over again.  Years later I discovered one of them (presumably the one with the keyboard) was Adamski,
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 12, 2020, 02:16:00 AM
Javine Hylton on Come Dine with Me thinking Jan Leeming was called Jan Mee Ling, and that she was Chinese, so made her a Chinese banquet, and then her mum said, "That's not JAn Mee Ling,  it's Jan Meeling (sic)".

Fucking hell.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 12, 2020, 02:23:43 AM
I remember the episode of "Why Don't You" where they got a new theme tune (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaQdSDeveiQ), but years later I realised they were telling a blatant lie.  They way I remember them introducing it was to say a kid had sent in a cassette with a letter basically saying "I recorded you a new theme tune", they played the cassette, and it was instated as the new theme from the very next episode.  Obviously that can't have been the truth as it's obviously professionally recorded - and sounds slight speeded up - and isn't something a kid dashed off on their tape recorder.


I don't want to come over all Jerry Seinfeld(!) but what was the deal with Why Don't You? What a strange programme. It's really resonant of summer holidays. That feeling where you were delighted to not be at school but have then been instantly reminded that holiday kids TV is absolute dogshit. Why would I want to watch a bunch of geordie kids put up a tent?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 12, 2020, 02:39:49 AM
I don't want to come over all Jerry Seinfeld(!) but what was the deal with Why Don't You? What a strange programme. It's really resonant of summer holidays. That feeling where you were delighted to not be at school but have then been instantly reminded that holiday kids TV is absolute dogshit. Why would I want to watch a bunch of geordie kids put up a tent?

I remember me and others at school being under the impression that they picked the kids that hosted each series from random schools, and we hoped they'd choose our school.  I was told years later by a bbc guy that someone had 'taken a backhander' to allow the kids of bbc employees and their friends be the hosts.  Another version I heard was that they were from an acting school.  Either way, anyone hoping they'd choose their school didn't have a hope in hell of being chosen.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 12, 2020, 02:42:16 AM
I remember me and others at school being under the impression that they picked the kids that hosted each series from random schools, and we hoped they'd choose our school.  I was told years later by a bbc guy that someone had 'taken a backhander' to allow the kids of bbc employees and their friends be the hosts.  Another version I heard was that they were from an acting school.  Either way, anyone hoping they'd choose their school didn't have a hope in hell of being chosen.

I KNEW IT!!!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Hugo Rune on November 12, 2020, 05:20:33 AM
I remember me and others at school being under the impression that they picked the kids that hosted each series from random schools, and we hoped they'd choose our school.  I was told years later by a bbc guy that someone had 'taken a backhander' to allow the kids of bbc employees and their friends be the hosts.  Another version I heard was that they were from an acting school.  Either way, anyone hoping they'd choose their school didn't have a hope in hell of being chosen.
Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?, to give the full Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem-inspired title, was good advice that I usually followed whenever it came on. Fucking awful show.

The Welsh media is (and was) a very small pool so whenever the show came to Cardiff the same "talent" would be netted and dumped onto the screen for our viewing pleasure. As you said, it was always the kids of BBC employees. Or kids from local drama schools. The same kids over and over on different shows.

To be fair, it was nothing to do with backhanders and everything to do with who you knew and sheer convenience on the producers' part.

I went through Welsh medium education and a shit-tonne of my classmates' parents worked either at the BBC or HTV so we were always getting picked as extras and shit on the telly — usually on Welsh Language stuff but occasionally English Language shit like Why Don't You..?

I turned up on the telly myself a couple of times. Once in primary school (I was paid in book tokens!) and a couple of times in high school as a teenager.

In fact, Cardiff is such a small pool, you're constantly bumping into people who've done stuff in the media. A mate of mine I worked with recently in IKEA presented Why Don't You..? as a kid.[1]
 1. World's most boring anecdote.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gulftastic on November 12, 2020, 07:49:33 AM
I remember the Why Don't You? gangs being region based and hating it being the Liverpool mob's turn.

Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Hand Solo on November 12, 2020, 08:20:12 AM
I remember the Why Don't You? gangs being region based and hating it being the Liverpool mob's turn.

Coincidentally I watched a bit of an episode last week because I was trying to find an episode with the out of tune shitter later theme I remember, it happened to be a Scouse stage school bastards (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpRcvz1WyiU) episode.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: buzby on November 12, 2020, 08:36:05 AM
Another old memory is of two kids on Swap Shop singing a song with the lyrics "I hate babysitters", one kid singing the other with a keyboard constantly playing the same note over and over again.  Years later I discovered one of them (presumably the one with the keyboard) was Adamski,
Are you sure it was a keyboard and not a ukelele?
That would have been 1979 and 11-year old Adam 'Adamski' Tinley and and his 5 year old brother Dominic in their 'kid punk' band The Stupid Babies doing their song Babysitters (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXAQDhFTaWA).
(https://biggolddreamdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/stupid-babies-1.jpg?w=700)
They recorded it on a cassette alongside another song Baby Blues and sent it to Bob Last's FAST Product label as a demo. Last included both songs on his Earcom 3 compilation. John Peel was a big fan of it.
https://biggolddream.com/2018/02/12/fast-earcom-3-the-stupid-babies-and-5-year-old-punks-and-adamski/ (https://biggolddream.com/2018/02/12/fast-earcom-3-the-stupid-babies-and-5-year-old-punks-and-adamski/)

I remember the Why Don't You? gangs being region based and hating it being the Liverpool mob's turn.
Racist.

The kids on Why Don't you were mostly child actors (e,g, Pauline Quirke, Alex Fletcher, Ben Slade) or from drama/talent schools (Gideon Coe, Ant McPartlin), especially come the mid-80s when Russell T. Davies started adding storylines to the series (Ben Slade then became a permanent fixture, starting off in Cardiff and moving to whichever region the show was being produced by next, including the Liverpool episode linked above).
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on November 12, 2020, 09:29:01 AM
I've despised Pauline Quirke since I was a child because she used to appear on kids' TV so often. She even had her own show. And now I have a partner who voluntarily watches Birds Of A Feather. Grrr.

And yes, I was always bitterly disappointed that whatever school I happened to be at the time was never chosen for a programme. I suspected it was a fix at the time and now I'm totally sure.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gulftastic on November 12, 2020, 10:09:02 AM
Due to my primary school's proximity to the YTV studios in Leeds, kids from there were often picked to appear. I myself appeared in 'How We Used To Live' when I was about 6. Can't remember a thing about it, aside we were sat around a big table at a family meal in the episode. I also appeared in 'My World'. Again, can't remember much about it at all.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 12, 2020, 12:04:29 PM
Are you sure it was a keyboard and not a ukelele?

Yes, I've heard the song on youtube.  The kid doing the vocals sounded older than the one on the record and sung 'sitters' with a glottal stop.
The other kid stood behind the keyboard and just sortof went 'plonk plonk plonk' playing the same note while the other kid sang.

Maybe they made enough money from the record and a tv appearance on some regional show to buy a keyboard and made another appearance a little later?


*I read about it somewhere.  Some regional show hosted by Frank Bough or if not him then someone of that ilk.  But that wasn't the show I saw them on.


Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?, to give the full Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem-inspired title, was good advice that I usually followed whenever it came on. Fucking awful show.

When the show first started I'd have been about 4 or something.  I'd have been watching whatever show preceded it, probably Ring-A-Ding or Heads & Tails or something like that.  Then the title Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead? would appear on screen and my mum would say "Oh, alright then." and switch the TV off.  I didn't actually see the show for a year or two later!

All I remember about the show itself is the kids pretending there was a creature called "a Doris" and occasionally it'd whizz across the room accompanied by the sound of those little plastic things with a little propeller inside that makes a 'woop woop' sound.  Tony Hart's show did the same schtick but without giving the creature a name.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Hugo Rune on November 12, 2020, 01:17:14 PM
Tony Hart's show did the same schtick but without giving the creature a name.
"Woofumpuss".
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 12, 2020, 02:27:11 PM
"Woofumpuss".

Ah, thanks!  I just remember it whizzing by and Tony Hart looking a bit befuddled before carrying on with whatever he was doing.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on November 12, 2020, 02:37:10 PM
Due to my primary school's proximity to the YTV studios in Leeds, kids from there were often picked to appear. I myself appeared in 'How We Used To Live' when I was about 6. Can't remember a thing about it, aside we were sat around a big table at a family meal in the episode. I also appeared in 'My World'. Again, can't remember much about it at all.

You might be able to find yourself on YouTube, they've got dozens of the former on there, and some of the latter too (although they're quite tricky to find; I had some success with "my world itv schools").
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on November 12, 2020, 02:46:42 PM
All I remember about the show itself is the kids pretending there was a creature called "a D*ris" and occasionally it'd whizz across the room accompanied by the sound of those little plastic things with a little propeller inside that makes a 'woop woop' sound.  Tony Hart's show did the same schtick but without giving the creature a name.

This is just about the only thing I remember from the show.  But, as I recall, it didn't make the woop-woop propeller noise (that was Vision On's Woofumpuss).  The D*ris only "appeared" (it was invisible) if one of the kids said its name, at which point there'd be ghastly wet sucking noises (like somebody sucking up mud with a vacuum cleaner) and the kids would all throw themselves round the set in mock agony, as if being attacked.

We used to re-enact this in the playground quite frequently.

Whereas the Woofumpuss was visible (a big fuzzy worm on an invisible string) and came with the propeller woop-woop noise.


"Woofumpuss".

I was heartened to read just the other day that Wilfred Makepeace Lunn is still very much alive.  His doorbell was fantastic.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gurke and Hare on November 12, 2020, 03:16:48 PM
When the show first started I'd have been about 4 or something.  I'd have been watching whatever show preceded it, probably Ring-A-Ding or Heads & Tails or something like that.

Or Silas, which was on every day of every school holiday ever.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 12, 2020, 05:57:20 PM


The kids on Why Don't you were mostly child actors (e,g, Pauline Quirke, Alex Fletcher, Ben Slade)

That's rubbish. Pauline Quirke is a grown woman.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gulftastic on November 12, 2020, 06:47:53 PM
Or Silas, which was on every day of every school holiday ever.

'Heidi' and 'Huckleberry Finn & Friends' seemed to be on constant rotation in my youth.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 12, 2020, 06:49:06 PM
I didn't actually see the show for a year or two later!



Lucky bastard.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 12, 2020, 06:51:55 PM
'Heidi' and 'Huckleberry Finn & Friends' seemed to be on constant rotation in my youth.

Yes! Especially Huck Finn. I can still see that showboat(is that the right word?) going down the river in the opening titles, and even now I can remember the theme tune. Although like Top Cat the words were totally indecipherable for some reason.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 12, 2020, 07:06:38 PM
Yes! Especially Huck Finn. I can still see that showboat(is that the right word?) going down the river in the opening titles

I remember in the opening or closing titles one of them did that thing when you jump up and click your heels together* and I could never do it.

* Kindof to one side, not in a nazi/jackboots way.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Mobbd on November 12, 2020, 08:07:38 PM
Since we're onto kids' TV now (Why Don't You), I can remember a surprising amount about Wacaday. I think I might have really liked it or something. Fucking hell.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that everyone who watched Wacaday remembers Pinky Punky. But nobody but me seems to remember that it was originally a write-in competition to decide his name. Pinky Punky was around for ages but everyone forgot it was a competition winner who had named him, which I always found a bit off. Should have given that kid a writing credit.

I was not that competition winner in case you're wondering. I did, however, win the competition to name Tom Paris on Star Trek: Voyager.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 12, 2020, 08:38:13 PM
Since we're onto kids' TV now (Why Don't You), I can remember a surprising amount about Wacaday. I think I might have really liked it or something. Fucking hell.

I have a lot of memories of the Wide Awake Club that refuse to shift. There was some kid on once with some kind of illness, Tommy Boyd essentially asked 'What is it that you've got?' and for some reason the kid said 'Ben Nevis.'
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Famous Mortimer on November 12, 2020, 09:28:09 PM
Since we're onto kids' TV now (Why Don't You), I can remember a surprising amount about Wacaday. I think I might have really liked it or something. Fucking hell.
I was on Wacaday in 1986, and lost the word association game. The greatest shame of my life.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on November 13, 2020, 12:36:49 AM
I was on Wacaday in 1986, and lost the word association game. The greatest shame of my life.

28 you were!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on November 13, 2020, 12:40:34 AM
I remember this... Might have been 'Def 2' / Snub TV.

Hmmm, maybe Asborb... delighted somebody else remembers it!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 13, 2020, 01:15:59 AM
But nobody but me seems to remember that it was originally a write-in competition to decide his name. Pinky Punky was around for ages but everyone forgot it was a competition winner who had named him, which I always found a bit off. Should have given that kid a writing credit.

I vaguely remember that.  Other memories are of Timmy Mallett travelling to various countries, seemingly just so he could make an awful pun.  The show's budget must've been huge.  "I'm in Kenya... Kenya believe it??!!", and him knocking on the door of the Kremlin and saying "Is Len In?", and some game with him having a little plastic figure jump off a diving board into a bowl of borscht.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Hand Solo on November 13, 2020, 04:26:48 AM
and him knocking on the door of the Kremlin and saying "Is Len In?"

I recall he had a repeating segment where he used a Boglin toy with a Russian background for the section called The Gremlin In The Kremlin.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jamiefairlie on November 13, 2020, 05:56:43 AM
Yes! Especially Huck Finn. I can still see that showboat(is that the right word?) going down the river in the opening titles, and even now I can remember the theme tune. Although like Top Cat the words were totally indecipherable for some reason.

The flashing blade, tintin, white horses, Robinson Crusoe plus one of the old 30s serials like Flash Gordon
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on November 13, 2020, 08:48:34 AM
All of those for me, Robinson Crusoe & White Horses in particular... except The Flashing Blade which I don't remember at all.

I still remember a few years ago, when I first thought to look up the Robinson Crusoe theme on YouTube, bursting into tears of nostalgia within a few bars of that beautiful soaring theme (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE10msGsCn4) starting.  Looking at Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Robinson_Crusoe_(TV_series)#UK) it would've been the Summer 1972 9.30am showings I saw... 9.30am definitely rings a loud bell, and I'd've been 7, which fits my memories.

(I had a similar, but milder, experience a few years earlier, when the opening scenes of the wonderful film Me Without You used the White Horses theme.)

Astonished to discover from that page that the theme was specially written for the UK version; it wasn't in the original Franco/German version!


Jesus, continuing to read, the BBC archive twats strike again:

Quote
In 1997, the complete series was released on VHS video by Network in four volumes. This was thanks to the work of Tim Beddows who tracked down the only known English language prints in a French film vault. However, these were 16mm prints, since the original 35mm prints used by the BBC between 1965 and 1982 had been junked, and no other 35mm prints could be found.

In 2007, Network released the series on DVD. Once again these were the recovered 16mm prints...

Complete fuckheads.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Wacky Homemade Badges on November 13, 2020, 09:21:17 AM
Coincidentally I watched a bit of an episode last week because I was trying to find an episode with the out of tune shitter later theme I remember, it happened to be a Scouse stage school bastards (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpRcvz1WyiU) episode.

Rare sighting of the early T-less RTD in the credits for those. And even rarer credit for him as director, one of the million different jobs he did on Why Dont You in that era. He'll have written the scripts for those too, hence prominence of the Cardiff Ben character...

(sorry, see this has largely been covered...)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: buzby on November 13, 2020, 09:53:53 AM
Jesus, continuing to read, the BBC archive twats strike again:

Complete fuckheads.
I don't think you can really the blame on the BBC for that one. They didn't make the series or the 35mm prints, they were bought in from the French production company Franco London Film. Either the BBC sent their copy back to FLF when their broadcast rights expired, or FLF didn't ask for them back and the BBC had 13 reels of 35mm sitting there they no longer had the rights to broadcast.

If the BBC's copy was a dupe (the English dub had previously been syndicated in the US) then FLF should have still had the 35mm master back in Paris and it would be them who subsequently lost/binned it. If the copy the BBC had was actually the master (which was probably unlikely, as it would mean FLF would have not have been able to sell it to other English-speaking countries after 1965) then FLF should have asked for it back when the rights expired.

ZDF in Germany were co-producers of the series, and presumably retained the 35mm master of their 4-part re-edited German dub.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Chriddof on November 13, 2020, 10:18:49 AM
Other memories are of Timmy Mallett travelling to various countries, seemingly just so he could make an awful pun.  The show's budget must've been huge.

By the late 80s / early 90s TV-am were absolutely raking it in - according to Wiki it was "the world's most profitable TV station in terms of turnover", thanks in part to a big emphasis on children's advertising (toys, fast food) being aired during stuff more aimed at parents.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Mobbd on November 13, 2020, 04:46:25 PM
"I'm in Kenya... Kenya believe it??!!", and him knocking on the door of the Kremlin and saying "Is Len In?", and some game with him having a little plastic figure jump off a diving board into a bowl of borscht.

Ahaha. So glad I brought this up.

I vaguely remember that.  Other memories are of Timmy Mallett travelling to various countries, seemingly just so he could make an awful pun.

I do remember him being present for the actual fall of the Berlin Wall. Footage of hip-looking Berliners attacking the graffiti-rich wall with home power tools. He gave away pieces of the wall in a phone-in. Pretty amazing really. You can imagine ITV thinking of how to cover this historic event. "Send Mallett!" / "Oh God, yeah, we'll have to send Mallett."

I remember him kissing the Blarney Stone too.

The puns on "Berlin" and "Blarney" were "Blahlin" and "Blahney" because "Blah" was his catchphrase. Sigh. Rubbish.

Oh, and the history of Thailand being explained by some kids being "tied" together with neckties. Tie sounds like Thai, fuck off.

Oh, and "Wack Africa". Is that actually a synonym for Black Africa? I hope so.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gulftastic on November 13, 2020, 05:10:47 PM
Mallett wasn't always turned up to 11. He used to present Music Box. He was quite good. I remember a good bit where he was ripping the piss out of a Sigue Sigue Sputinik book trying to claim they were the new punk gods of music.

He is quite a well regarded painter.

https://www.google.com/search?q=timmy+mallett+art&rlz=1C1ZKTG_enGB803GB803&sxsrf=ALeKk03Ith89DoQnyADT3eRIXvj2qDt4pA:1605287416037&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiE2sfRgYDtAhUrTxUIHZCXDBUQ_AUoAXoECAgQAw&biw=1280&bih=578

Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Norton Canes on November 13, 2020, 05:33:09 PM
I remember listening to his evening show on Piccadilly Radio in the mid-80's, before I went all Janice Long. I liked the feature where he'd ask girls to write in about boys they fancied at school, then he'd phone the hapless lads on-air and ask if they'd go out with them. I always dreaded the moment he dialled, in case it was my phone that rang (it never was, of course, because no girls fancied me).
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 13, 2020, 06:49:26 PM
I saw on a link on here once that he did an anti-apartheid feature from South Africa where he understandably toned the "utterly utterly bleurghhhh" shit right down and basically told kids racism is wrong. Still wouldn't want to be stuck in a lift with him but, y'know, fair play.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 13, 2020, 07:43:20 PM
He also saved someone from drowning...
https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/7088679.modest-hero-timmy-tells-icy-rescue-drama-marina/
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 13, 2020, 07:49:50 PM
DVD: The thing about you Timmy is that, you're boff.

TM: Right! Boff!

DVD: But I'm..... biff baff boff.

TM: (slightly deflated) Right.



Anyone remember that dialogue? Clue: it wasn't on Panorama.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 13, 2020, 08:13:25 PM
David Van Day?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 13, 2020, 08:18:28 PM
David Van Day?

Yes! On IAC...GMOOH! Such a strange man, old DVD.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 13, 2020, 10:37:49 PM
who voluntarily watches Birds Of A Feather.
I now have visions of people being forced to watch it.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 13, 2020, 10:41:10 PM

Then the title Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead? would appear on screen and my mum would say "Oh, alright then." and switch the TV off.  I didn't actually see the show for a year or two later!

They didn't mean switch it off for an entire year or two!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 13, 2020, 10:43:49 PM
I remember in the opening or closing titles one of them did that thing when you jump up and click your heels together* and I could never do it.

* Kindof to one side, not in a nazi/jackboots way.
It was the titles to either Huckleberry Finn or sister show Tom Sawyer where one of them (sawyer?) does a really annoying wink. It haunts me to this day.[1]
 1. Well, it does now I've remembered it.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: ProvanFan on November 13, 2020, 11:05:50 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/3Mb6gXd.png)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 13, 2020, 11:10:37 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/3Mb6gXd.png)

ONLY £49.40!!! Well, economists do say that high demand will raise prices. AND HOW!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on November 14, 2020, 12:37:24 AM
It was the titles to either Huckleberry Finn or sister show Tom Sawyer

There were two shows?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 14, 2020, 10:36:16 AM
There were two shows?
I've just checked, and there weren't two shows. The two books were combined into one show. Yet another false memory!
Clearly, it didn't "haunt me to this day" accurately enough.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gulftastic on November 14, 2020, 10:55:01 AM
To be fair, they did seem to show the first chunk, Tom's pratting about, more often than the second chunk,  Huck and Jim on the raft. I can easily see why it seemed like two different shows.

Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jamiefairlie on November 14, 2020, 05:07:49 PM
The only bit I can remember was some sort of shit scam to help him paint a white picket fence.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on November 14, 2020, 05:17:30 PM
The sight of that paddle steamer trundling down the river and that dreary ass theme song ("That's where they came from, the days that they came from." Right, cheers.) was always my queue to ditch the TV and go round and knock for one of my mates. That isn't kids TV just because some kids are in it. It's clearly some old nan's programme. Fuckoffleberry Finn, more like. Heidi can do one and all.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on November 14, 2020, 07:25:13 PM
That scary music when something dramatic happened like Tom Sawyer hiding in a bush and witnessing bad men do something or that.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: grainger on November 14, 2020, 07:35:16 PM
The only bit I can remember was some sort of shit scam to help him paint a white picket fence.
I can't remember how the show handled it, but the principle in the book is that if you charge people for something they won't do it for free, they will queue up for it.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dirty Boy on November 14, 2020, 08:27:40 PM
Quote
Other memories are of Timmy Mallett travelling to various countries, seemingly just so he could make an awful pun.  The show's budget must've been huge.  "I'm in Kenya... Kenya believe it??!!", and him knocking on the door of the Kremlin and saying "Is Len In?"
"We're in Norway next week and there's Nooooorway you can miss it!"

I was shocked to discover old Timmy was married... to a WOMAN! I thought he was sticking it up that pink mallet and/or parrot.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 15, 2020, 11:52:36 PM
The only bit I can remember was some sort of shit scam to help him paint a white picket fence.

Ha! That's the bit I remember too. And when I came to study it at Uni it was that scene I pictured in my mind. Dunno why it stayed with me for so long. Th only other bit I remember is Huck sitting in a cave for some reason.

Great memories!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 15, 2020, 11:54:17 PM
I can't remember how the show handled it, but the principle in the book is that if you charge people for something they won't do it for free, they will queue up for it.

Could you elaborate on that? I'm being thick.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Cerys on November 16, 2020, 01:42:34 AM
Quote from: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. And this would help [Tom Sawyer] to understand why constructing artificial flowers or performing on a treadmill is work, while rolling ten pins or climbing Mount Blanc is only amusement. There are wealthy gentlemen in England who drive four-horse passenger-coaches twenty or thirty miles on a daily line, in the summer, because the privilege costs them considerable money; but if they were offered wages for the service, that would turn it into work and they would resign.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on November 16, 2020, 01:54:27 AM


Ah right. Thanks for that, Cerys.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Sin Agog on November 26, 2020, 05:33:58 PM
I know I watched this at the time as a young, young tyke who'd duck out in front of the telly while my parents were off doing adult things with other adult people, and it feels as surreal now as it did then: Jimmy Saville and Spike Milligan sitting next to George Wendt on a typically bizarre '80s channel 4 show presented by the Japanese performance artists who had the novelty hit 'We Are Ninja...Not Geisha,' before Saville breaks out into a tweaked cover of It's a Long Way to Tipperary.  Proper fever dream stuff, but then most channel 4 programming was like that at the time.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS3wKEb9_zY
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on December 05, 2020, 01:39:01 AM
Radio edition :- Steve Wright In The Afternoon with a section where they played aspiring band's demo tapes and one sounded like a poundshop Smiths but all the songs had lyrics about The Silence Of The Lambs. I remember a bloke doing a blatant Morrissey impression singing "Mmm, it was little miss Jodie Foster" and Wright announcing "The other song is called 'Dr. Lecter Will Eat You Now'. I guess they liked that film."

Apart from XTC, Chart Music Podcast and inadvertently farting at a colleague doing a stocktake in a storage cupboard I think the thing I've mentioned on CaB the most might be Caesar The Boogieman on Invicta Radio playing the Grease Megamix several times in a row because he claimed he looked out of the window and could see some kids attempting to set fire to a cat so he had to run out and stop them. He blatantly just had to do a massive shit but I was about 11 years old listening in bed on my Walkman and I'm afraid I got caught up in the drama.

A local radio phone in show, possibly also Invicta, where a bloke phoned in to talk about his worries concerning a club in a village hall  being set up for enthusiasts of the paranormal. His concern was specifically ouija board related because if you muck about with those things "the next thing you know there'll be bleeding ghosts flying about everywhere, you've seen the films. You don't want that in Bexleyheath."
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on December 05, 2020, 01:53:07 PM
A radio one.  And probably was on Radio One, sometime in the aftenoon, late 80's/early 90's.  A caller played 'Blowin' In The Wind' using the tones on their phone.  It went on for ages, probably the full song, faltering at times and with the occasional wrong note (maybe there aren't enough tones to get all the right notes anyway).
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jobotic on December 05, 2020, 03:00:29 PM
Radio edition :- Steve Wright In The Afternoon with a section where they played aspiring band's demo tapes and one sounded like a poundshop Smiths but all the songs had lyrics about The Silence Of The Lambs. I remember a bloke doing a blatant Morrissey impression singing "Mmm, it was little miss Jodie Foster" and Wright announcing "The other song is called 'Dr. Lecter Will Eat You Now'. I guess they liked that film."

Apart from XTC, Chart Music Podcast and inadvertently farting at a colleague doing a stocktake in a storage cupboard I think the thing I've mentioned on CaB the most might be Caesar The Boogieman on Invicta Radio playing the Grease Megamix several times in a row because he claimed he looked out of the window and could see some kids attempting to set fire to a cat so he had to run out and stop them. He blatantly just had to do a massive shit but I was about 11 years old listening in bed on my Walkman and I'm afraid I got caught up in the drama.

A local radio phone in show, possibly also Invicta, where a bloke phoned in to talk about his worries concerning a club in a village hall  being set up for enthusiasts of the paranormal. His concern was specifically ouija board related because if you muck about with those things "the next thing you know there'll be bleeding ghosts flying about everywhere, you've seen the films. You don't want that in Bexleyheath."

When i was a kid a friend of mine rang up Rod Lucas (Roddy Babes) on Invicta Radio and did a Mavis from Corrie impression. Lucas was well impressed until my mate's older brother shouted "Roddy Babes is a right wanker!" very loudly into the phone. It was great.

he was right too as Roddy Babes was a BNP member*



* for research purposes.


Weren't one of Lucas or Caesar done for charity fraud?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 05, 2020, 07:38:20 PM
Radio edition :- Steve Wright In The Afternoon with a section where they played aspiring band's demo tapes and one sounded like a poundshop Smiths but all the songs had lyrics about The Silence Of The Lambs. I remember a bloke doing a blatant Morrissey impression singing "Mmm, it was little miss Jodie Foster" and Wright announcing "The other song is called 'Dr. Lecter Will Eat You Now'. I guess they liked that film."
It looks like the band you're referring to are called Nothing (one of dozens of bands to share the name, if Discogs is to be believed), and can be seen here - https://www.discogs.com/Nothing-Nothing/release/3207296 . Sadly, no-one appears to have a copy of it for sale.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Cuntbeaks on December 07, 2020, 02:59:19 AM
Yes! Especially Huck Finn. I can still see that showboat(is that the right word?) going down the river in the opening titles, and even now I can remember the theme tune. Although like Top Cat the words were totally indecipherable for some reason.
It was on quite early in the morning but a few of us would get up in order to watch it then meet up and take the piss out of it. Mainly because of the 'baddie', Injun Joe, was a dead ringer for a violent alcoholic who lived on our street. Legend had it that he threw a woman out of a 3rd floor window.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on December 07, 2020, 04:21:20 AM
It was on quite early in the morning but a few of us would get up in order to watch it then meet up and take the piss out of it. Mainly because of the 'baddie', Injun Joe, was a dead ringer for a violent alcoholic who lived on our street. Legend had it that he threw a woman out of a 3rd floor window.

Christ! I shudder to think what Tom Sawyer would make of that.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Sonny_Jim on December 07, 2020, 08:39:07 AM
Have we had 'Get Stuffed' yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3jJb9TgJcg

Boggles my mind that it exists.  Did they make it as a parody?  Because 'Nozin Around' was about 10 years prior to this.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on December 07, 2020, 09:24:35 AM
Have we had 'Get Stuffed' yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3jJb9TgJcg

Boggles my mind that it exists.  Did they make it as a parody?  Because 'Nozin Around' was about 10 years prior to this.

Parodied on The Day Today as well. Featuring a forum favourite.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on December 07, 2020, 11:29:03 AM
There was also Get Wet of course. Sometimes on the same night as Get Stuffed.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: dissolute ocelot on December 07, 2020, 11:42:52 AM
It looks like the band you're referring to are called Nothing (one of dozens of bands to share the name, if Discogs is to be believed), and can be seen here - https://www.discogs.com/Nothing-Nothing/release/3207296 . Sadly, no-one appears to have a copy of it for sale.
There are some places you can download it (if you search for the more distinctive track names), but I'll wait till I'm on a less sensitive PC. How can a 7-minute song called "Heathers" be bad? Although basic arithmetic demonstrates that "Renaissance Man" probably isn't about the Danny Devito heroic-teacher-film.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: George White on December 07, 2020, 12:56:34 PM
That Huck Finn series was interesting.
Actually  a Canadian West German production, shot in Vancouver, hence a lot of the actors went on to be in X Files and other purportedly American SF.
The aunt was German, Brigitte Horney. Recently saw her in a 30s Ealing, but she was a big star in the 30s and 40s in Germany, and was the female lead in the Nazi-produced Munchausen movie.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Neomod on December 07, 2020, 02:07:59 PM
I've despised Pauline Quirke since I was a child because she used to appear on kids' TV so often. She even had her own show. And now I have a partner who voluntarily watches Birds Of A Feather. Grrr.

I remember her mainly from 'You Must Be Joking' with of course FLINTLOCK who followed her to Pauline's Quirks. My older sister fancied drummer Mike.

End titles featuring Jim Bowen, Quirke, Ray Burdis and "Where's ya Fackin Tool" from SCUM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIccf6lLu-g

I have very vague memories[1] of Junior Showtime with precocious Glynne Poole and other youth drama little shits. Can't remember if he was a guest or presented it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg7zEDURHOM

This seems to be the only evidence of Poole's existence on youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qYe0kcmABw

Honourable mention to Southern TV's lunchtime knockout double punch of Crown Court and Houseparty for sick 70's/80's kids off school.

God, this theme brings back the sense memory of eating tomato soup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECEbx1zpMgs

same with that bloody doorbell
https://youtu.be/W5Xgh71FQJc?t=61


 1. I was 6 when it finished in 74
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 07, 2020, 02:29:39 PM
There are some places you can download it (if you search for the more distinctive track names), but I'll wait till I'm on a less sensitive PC. How can a 7-minute song called "Heathers" be bad? Although basic arithmetic demonstrates that "Renaissance Man" probably isn't about the Danny Devito heroic-teacher-film.
I had a look at a few of those sites (the top handful of results from a Google search for the songs) and they look dodgy as fuck. I assume there's going to be some "enter your credit card details to prove your identity" deal going on.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gulftastic on December 07, 2020, 08:17:00 PM
This from the 70's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWzoi1cx7_U

To my mind, the series aired only once, but I always remembered the main bit of theme tune.

It's the reason that the later cartoon of the more famous film is called 'The Real Ghostbusters'.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: GMTV on December 08, 2020, 12:50:35 PM
I think that may have been from "A Kick Up The Eighties", or its sequel "Laugh? I Nearly Paid My License Fee!". I seem to recall whatever the sketch was beforehand just cut to a still of the BBC1 globe (the "COW" version, for those of you who know such things) where a seemingly real voice-over said something about "talks having broken down, so the four minute warning has been sounded - that's except for viewers in Scotland, who will get it later tonight at 10:50". Big audience laugh, and then the BBC logo was partially replaced via a circular video wipe with the face of Robbie Coltrane, who was a regular in both series. He began to sing a song - may have been a folk song or something - as an intro to the next sketch. (The effect was that you just saw his face instead of the globe.) Then the wipe was competed and we saw the full shot of him, he finished this little bit of whatever song it was, and the sketch properly began. You might possibly be (mis)remembering that bit of Quantel-powered business, although it is the kind of stunt a lot of 80s British comedy programmes did on occasion - what you describe may very well have also been on "Carrott's Lib" or whatever.

Also the OP who mentioned the really terrible "Bottom" parody - that'll be from the atrocious "TV Squash" by Yorkshire Television, in 1992. It's been mentioned on these boards before, and I've just re-uploaded it to Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szJVfb6MTKY).

I have to be honest I quite like that bottom parody!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Bad Ambassador on December 08, 2020, 02:11:20 PM
This from the 70's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWzoi1cx7_U

To my mind, the series aired only once, but I always remembered the main bit of theme tune.

It's the reason that the later cartoon of the more famous film is called 'The Real Ghostbusters'.

And in turn there was an animated version of the live-action series that came out at the same time as an obvious cash-in.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Menu on December 08, 2020, 11:46:50 PM
That Huck Finn series was interesting.
Actually  a Canadian West German production, shot in Vancouver, hence a lot of the actors went on to be in X Files and other purportedly American SF.
The aunt was German, Brigitte Horney. Recently saw her in a 30s Ealing, but she was a big star in the 30s and 40s in Germany, and was the female lead in the Nazi-produced Munchausen movie.

Wow, that's fantastic info. Thank you. It being non-American fits with how other-worldly it seemed at the time. It seems obvious now that it wasn't US-made.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Billy on December 30, 2020, 12:27:35 AM
Random mildly traumatising TV memory from my childhood that jumped back into my mind tonight - I’m happily watching some old 1940s cartoon on the BBC featuring various animated characters trying to solve a murder mystery, the killer is found, and as he’s unmasked...we suddenly switch into live action film and it’s some random real-life guy under the mask, who says “I did it” and hysterically bursts into tears. End of cartoon, and it creeped me right out - who the fuck was he?! What was he doing in a cartoon?! Was it a real life murderer from the 40s? Was this his punishment?

Years later I discovered the name of the cartoon - a Tex Avery called ‘Who Killed Who?’ - and realised I’d missed the beginning all those years ago when a live-action host introduces it (in some sort of parody of whodunnit movie shorts of the time) - and he’s the one who gets unmasked at the end. I even found out the day I probably saw it, as it was inexplicably aired at 7pm one night on BBC2 in April 1994, in between Def II and a documentary about disabled Asians. No wonder I was weirded out by it all, aged 5 I’d have probably gone to bed soon after.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on December 30, 2020, 12:49:05 AM
^ Love it, Billy. The stuff that scares us out of our wits when we're children is often so arbitrary. I witnessed this when I saw my then-five year old nephew crap his pants and start crying at the sight of a child cycling down the hill towards a smiling John Thaw in a TV adaptation of 'Goodnight Mr. Tom'.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: PaulTMA on December 30, 2020, 01:05:48 AM
Newsround running an item on a chameleon (or some similar creature) which changed colour depending on what it ate (or something), which the presenter wrapped up by saying "now we know what happens to Andi when he doesn't get his chocolate".  Cut to Peters in the broom cupboard with his face flashing green and saying "Edd, give me my Kit Kat".  I remember this being discussed in the playground the following day and us unanimously considering it fucking weird.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Cerys on December 30, 2020, 03:09:44 AM
as he’s unmasked...we suddenly switch into live action film and it’s some random real-life guy under the mask, who says “I dood it” and hysterically bursts into tears.

FTFY
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jamiefairlie on December 30, 2020, 05:55:21 AM
One of those memories where a single element is clear as day (in this case two - the screen that becomes a portal and the speeded up infinite loop at the end) but all the other details are completely forgotten. It was shown on BBC1 mid-70s around teatime and nobody else knew what I was wittering on about until the internet arrived...

https://youtu.be/f5bAMyjr_ok (https://youtu.be/f5bAMyjr_ok)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: kngen on December 30, 2020, 02:14:18 PM
I know I watched this at the time as a young, young tyke who'd duck out in front of the telly while my parents were off doing adult things with other adult people, and it feels as surreal now as it did then: Jimmy Saville and Spike Milligan sitting next to George Wendt on a typically bizarre '80s channel 4 show presented by the Japanese performance artists who had the novelty hit 'We Are Ninja...Not Geisha,' before Saville breaks out into a tweaked cover of It's a Long Way to Tipperary.  Proper fever dream stuff, but then most channel 4 programming was like that at the time.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS3wKEb9_zY

How bizarre. I was just thinking about this yesterday. Wendt was introduced as a big fan of hardcore punk (which was why me and my mates ended up watching it, so it must have been touted in the press beforehand), but sang Monkey on a Chain Gang by House of Freaks (not reaaaally hardcore at all; more Southern gothic country-punk), which was a bit disappointing at the time[1], as we were hoping he might slash his chest open with razor blades whilst screaming along to Short Fuse by Poison Idea.
 1.  I've since come to admire them, being older and wiser, and just emitted a tiny joyful 'oooh!' on discovering that they started out here in my current city of residence. So that's nice.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jockice on December 31, 2020, 08:12:24 AM
^ Love it, Billy. The stuff that scares us out of our wits when we're children is often so arbitrary. I witnessed this when I saw my then-five year old nephew crap his pants and start crying at the sight of a child cycling down the hill towards a smiling John Thaw in a TV adaptation of 'Goodnight Mr. Tom'.

I was scared of the whole world. Well, the revolving globe they had between programmes on BBC1, According to family folklore - although I have absolutely no recollection of this - I tried to stop my sister watching Dr Who on that channel by stuffing the dial with silver paper, causing the TV to explode.

28 I was.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Captain Z on January 24, 2021, 05:54:08 PM
Can't find the most recent 'identify this bit of TV' thread, so this will do. This is a relatively recent one, a short, hazy memory of something I've watched in the last 4-5 years, but I'm having real trouble remembering what show it was from.

It's a hidden camera type thing, where the show is messing with some real-life phone scammers/general no-goods. They've been told to go to a place where money/credit cards/whatever has been left for them, only to find that it's frozen inside a giant block of ice. Some immediately walk away, realising that they're being played, and some attempt to inconspicuously smash the ice open.

Any ideas what this was?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Mark X on January 24, 2021, 09:19:44 PM
Any ideas what this was?

Sounds like it might have been Guy Ritchie's C5 series Swag: https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/swag/
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: markburgle on January 25, 2021, 12:56:21 AM
Episode of Newsnight, early 00's - there's some sort of rock n roll museum opening somewhere. Their reporter's onsite at the preparations for the opening night and who does this hilarious interview with the singer from one of the bands. He instantly starts decrying the whole thing as a total shambles and not rock n roll at all, claims he's already set fire to their dressing room in protest, and at one point has to interrupt his ranting to shout "OI BAZ, SHUT IT!" over his shoulder at the bass player who's just started sound checking behind him. No idea who they were, but it was great.

Another one was two blokes from Viz on the Big Breakfast, Johnny Vaughn era. He's interviewing them and teenage me thinks the more snotty outspoken one is incredibly witty and hilarious, but all I really remember is that he ended up going "Well I could just say "shit" on the air" and the segment ended immediately
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: St_Eddie on January 25, 2021, 01:21:25 AM
An advert featuring someone in a possibly racist approximation of a Mexican voice going "'Ey, amigos! Eeees lunchtiiiiiiiiime!"

Don't know what you mean, mate. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2EIBU9khEU)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: ProvanFan on January 25, 2021, 01:46:17 AM
A documentary in which a man who's had too much to drink (his behaviour might have been the focus of the programme) is being dragged away by someone as he chants

YOOOU'RE A PENIS,
YOU'RE A FUCKIN PENIS

JOHHHN HUTCHISON,
YOU'RE A HORSE'S ARSE

Pretty sure it was at night outside a pub and the guy was definitely Scottish.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: St_Eddie on January 25, 2021, 02:20:09 AM
A documentary in which a man who's had too much to drink (his behaviour might have been the focus of the programme) is being dragged away by someone as he chants

YOOOU'RE A PENIS,
YOU'RE A FUCKIN PENIS

JOHHHN HUTCHISON,
YOU'RE A HORSE'S ARSE

Pretty sure it was at night outside a pub and the guy was definitely Scottish.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't transcribe my rantings.  Ta.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: KennyMonster on January 28, 2021, 03:03:26 PM


Floella Benjamin singing a song that went "Where's your bag, dad? My baaaaaaag?!! You left your bag, dad, in Baghdad."


https://www.petercombe.com.au/song/baghdad
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Captain Z on January 28, 2021, 03:17:09 PM
Sounds like it might have been Guy Ritchie's C5 series Swag: https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/swag/

I remember Swag quite fondly, I'm 90% sure it was a more recent show I was watching.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: KaraokeDragon on May 08, 2021, 01:59:08 PM
Can't find the most recent 'identify this bit of TV' thread, so this will do. This is a relatively recent one, a short, hazy memory of something I've watched in the last 4-5 years, but I'm having real trouble remembering what show it was from.

It's a hidden camera type thing, where the show is messing with some real-life phone scammers/general no-goods. They've been told to go to a place where money/credit cards/whatever has been left for them, only to find that it's frozen inside a giant block of ice. Some immediately walk away, realising that they're being played, and some attempt to inconspicuously smash the ice open.

Any ideas what this was?


You've probably forgot about this lol, but it's Blindboy Undestroys the World.

I'm pretty sure it's episode 1 and probably still on iPlayer.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Captain Z on May 08, 2021, 02:04:20 PM


You've probably forgot about this lol, but it's Blindboy Undestroys the World.

I'm pretty sure it's episode 1 and probably still on iPlayer.

Yes! Thank you, I had almost entirely forgotten about that show.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Satchmo Distel on May 08, 2021, 07:33:50 PM
Quote
Does anyone remember Under The Moon? It was a late night midweek sports show on Channel 4, presented by Danny Kelly, Lisa Rodgers(who once showed her Union Flag bra-DISTINCT MEMORY) and Tom Binns. It was really really good. Loads of good irreverent fun (Binns doing what I am certain was a Richard Herring impression all the way through). I used to watch it at uni even when I should have been getting to bed early.

I watched it because I worked a shift that finished at 10 pm and this started around midnight. I seem to remember Binns being replaced by Dominik Diamond. There was no time delay on the calls so Kelly would occasionally be abused by callers. There had been an earlier Channel 4 effort in that timeslot around the time of the 1988 Olympics, 'Running Late', presented by Donald Trelford that was dire.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: who cares on May 20, 2021, 10:37:01 AM
The Hit Man and Her studios. Undercover are performing their version of Baker Street to a warehouse-style disco packed with 'partygoers'. The singer gives a wry smile when he gets to the line, "It's got so many people, but it's got no soul" My friend remarks- "He's not unaware of the irony of that lyric."
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jobotic on May 20, 2021, 10:53:35 AM
Very occasionally I will make myself laugh by thinking:

"This is The Hitman and The Her"

"I'm the Hitman", "And I'm The Her"
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jenna appleseed on May 21, 2021, 12:11:17 AM
I'm still a little disappointed it wasn't a (probably a US import) drama/drama comedy like Moonlighting or Hart To Hart but with crims about an hitman and his wife/partner, I don't know going around carrying hits on people and trying to dodge the cops or something, like I assumed as a kid way back when I'd just seen see the name in the newspaper tv listings, no chance of actually seeing the thing and had no idea of what the show actually was

Young me also thought Spitting Image was somehow about spitting and that was a weird thing to make a tv show of, misread the name of The Piglet Files as The Piglet Flys (a show about flying pigs seemed amazing), and couldn't understand why Beauty And The Beast was on so late and I wasn't allowed to watch it - it'll just be a pre-Disney serialized child friendly adaption of the fairy story, right? (found out some time later that it probably wouldn't have mattered if I had accidentally seen it as ITV apparently censored/skipped a lot of the darker episodes/scenes).
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Leej88 on June 13, 2021, 11:31:45 PM
Does anyone remember a cartoon from the 90's was on CITV and it involved a fat detective and had parody's of Robocop and Star Wars?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Catalogue Trousers on June 14, 2021, 05:25:38 PM
Yeah, that sounds like Walter Melon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Melon_(TV_series)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Leej88 on June 14, 2021, 05:58:09 PM
Thank you been wondering what it was called for 23 years.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Special K on June 14, 2021, 07:00:37 PM
Mallett wasn't always turned up to 11. He used to present Music Box. He was quite good. I remember a good bit where he was ripping the piss out of a Sigue Sigue Sputinik book trying to claim they were the new punk gods of music.

He is quite a well regarded painter.

https://www.google.com/search?q=timmy+mallett+art&rlz=1C1ZKTG_enGB803GB803&sxsrf=ALeKk03Ith89DoQnyADT3eRIXvj2qDt4pA:1605287416037&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiE2sfRgYDtAhUrTxUIHZCXDBUQ_AUoAXoECAgQAw&biw=1280&bih=578

Having a website showing his art and naming it https://www.mallettspallette.co.uk/ is genius.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: dissolute ocelot on June 14, 2021, 08:36:12 PM
Having a website showing his art and naming it https://www.mallettspallette.co.uk/ is genius.
Well it would be if there wasn't only one L in palette.

That only came after the failure of his shipping company, financial advice centre, shop selling small onions, and a ski accommodation bureau.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on June 14, 2021, 09:56:58 PM
...and his Polling Station.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: ProvanFan on June 17, 2021, 11:31:16 PM
A person looking plaintive in a traffic jam at night on a British motorway. Looking through their wet windscreen at a gantry sign as ambient music like Eno's An Ending (Ascent) is playing.

Is this an obvious one? I'm sure there was an advert for the AA or Bupa something that gave it a nod. Or maybe it was only ever an advert and I've invented a film that supposedly inspired it.

Sort me out, please.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: ProvanFan on June 17, 2021, 11:32:04 PM
Early 90s btw
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Leej88 on June 17, 2021, 11:47:02 PM
The guy climbing the scaffolding to get the balloon looking like a superhero but is really drunk and falls to his death always stuck with me that advert.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: ProvanFan on June 18, 2021, 12:01:18 AM
Same mate
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on June 18, 2021, 02:40:29 PM
Or maybe it was only ever an advert and I've invented a film that supposedly inspired it.

I think this is right, but I can't remember what it was either, sorry.  AA is definitely a possibility.  Maybe a bank?

EDIT: or if it was also in a film, I never saw it or made the connection.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Leej88 on June 18, 2021, 03:03:57 PM
Remember watching one of those shopping channels on Freeview and they were this woman wearing a business uniform with a skirt with short dark hair she was fine.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on June 19, 2021, 12:25:03 AM
It's getting pretty transparent now. :)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: ProvanFan on June 25, 2021, 01:33:35 AM
I think this is right, but I can't remember what it was either, sorry.  AA is definitely a possibility.  Maybe a bank?

EDIT: or if it was also in a film, I never saw it or made the connection.

Bank or life insurance or something for grown ups, aye.

To clarify, the advert would probably have been later 90s or maybe early even early 00s, and the scene in question part of montage of wistful faces in different 'modern life' scenarios. It's the film that I reckon was early 90s.

In both cases the driver of the car is Jane Horrocks. Weird of her to reprise starring her role in my possibly-false memory for a bit part in an ad, but she does a fine job.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on June 25, 2021, 04:04:42 PM
...and the scene in question part of montage of wistful faces in different 'modern life' scenarios.

Yes, I can even see it in my head now, and the tone of the voiceover, but damnit, not what it was for!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: mothman on June 25, 2021, 04:15:50 PM
Yes, but what is any of it for? Are we just howling into the void, trying to make sense of the senseless, find meaning where there is none oh wait, you mean, what was the ad for? Sorry can’t help you there I’m afraid.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: ProvanFan on June 25, 2021, 04:24:45 PM
I hope it turns out to be for Senokot or Fruitang.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: rilk on June 25, 2021, 08:06:19 PM
something i saw on youtube, not on tv at the time - 1980s late night gonzo chip shop interviews, seem to remember reading the programme was a time filler?

also something edmonds, probably house party, from the late 90s - a man with a huge 6 foot high elastic band ball failing at some challenge or other and the ball getting burnt at the end of the show. horrible black fumes late on a summer night.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dr Rock on June 25, 2021, 08:10:13 PM
I once gave Timmy Mallett a crisp.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Uncle TechTip on June 25, 2021, 08:26:12 PM
something i saw on youtube, not on tv at the time - 1980s late night gonzo chip shop interviews, seem to remember reading the programme was a time filler?

Night Shift with Colin Bennett.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Famous Mortimer on June 25, 2021, 10:40:53 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOohccmo3Ng

The Wikipedia page for "Night Shift" was definitely written by the person who made the opening titles.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: willbo on June 25, 2021, 11:22:17 PM
Does anyone remember a short film with Richard Coyle from "Coupling" going out to buy a condom during a one night stand and then not being able to find the house again?

For some reason I think about "one man and his dog" and that "some hairsprays are like yesterday's corset" advert a lot
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on June 26, 2021, 07:18:29 AM
That advert warning against drinking and driving, using Mungo Jerry's In the Summertime.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dr Rock on June 26, 2021, 07:35:09 AM
Sir Timmy Mallett is now 65 years old.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: batwings on June 26, 2021, 08:20:43 AM
An episode of some old - 1970s / early 80s - anthology series in which some people get trapped in a building by a deadly security system. There were devices with a red light on the doors and windows that denoted that the alarms were active. I think the protaganists escape, only to go home and discover that the same security system had been installed there too.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on June 26, 2021, 09:47:52 AM
An episode of some old - 1970s / early 80s - anthology series in which some people get trapped in a building by a deadly security system. There were devices with a red light on the doors and windows that denoted that the alarms were active. I think the protaganists escape, only to go home and discover that the same security system had been installed there too.

Sounds like " Silent Scream" from the " Hammer House Of Horror" telly series ( broadcast 1980), with Peter Cushing as yer man who sets up them systems. Some very scary episodes in that series including one with Denholm Elliot as an older business man what doesn't 'Alf fancy his secretary ( played by yer woman from the film " Top Secret!") , who gets caught in a series of seemingly never- ending dreams.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on June 26, 2021, 10:10:24 AM
^ Just checked, and it's deffo that ( " Silent Scream", I mean) .A young Brian Cox is also in it. I always though Susan George was the young wife, but it wasnae her. Although you also have the option of watching this on video, I wouldnae recommend it, the ending is really chilling stuff.

CHILLING NEW PAGE
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: batwings on June 26, 2021, 10:36:13 AM
Yes, that's the one! Just checked it out on YT. Ta very much!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dr Rock on June 26, 2021, 10:53:00 AM
I found it very chilling when I saw it. But i reckoned they could escape somehow. Smash the windows in with the hoover or something.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dr Rock on June 26, 2021, 10:57:40 AM
Or just wait for the postman.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on June 26, 2021, 11:14:14 AM
Or just wait for the postman.

Postie would be coming to the front of the house, and they have very deliberately been trapped in the kitchen at the back of the house, but, yes, even at the time of that episode's broadcast, after being fully chilled, I remember thinking that they could have smashed the window with that big wooden table, or a chair, anything non- metal, really. The yt comments also have this point mentioned more than once.Peter Cushing's definitely fucked, though.

That Denholm Elliot constant dream one is a lot more disturbing, actually.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Replies From View on June 27, 2021, 02:25:00 PM
This from the 70's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWzoi1cx7_U

To my mind, the series aired only once, but I always remembered the main bit of theme tune.

It's the reason that the later cartoon of the more famous film is called 'The Real Ghostbusters'.

I've never heard the theme tune before.  It seems to borrow a lot from 'He's got the whole world in his hands'.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Replies From View on June 27, 2021, 02:28:55 PM
And in turn there was an animated version of the live-action series that came out at the same time as an obvious cash-in.

The Filmation cartoon of Ghostbusters came before The Real Ghostbusters, I think.  Universal (if that was the studio) were granted the rights to make a movie using the name Ghostbusters.  Filmation quickly decided to make a cartoon of their series to cash in on the success the Ghostbusters brand was now having (they still had the rights to the name for everything except a movie), and that was why The Real Ghostbusters couldn't be named Ghostbusters.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Dr Rock on June 29, 2021, 08:26:09 AM
Postie would be coming to the front of the house, and they have very deliberately been trapped in the kitchen at the back of the house, but, yes, even at the time of that episode's broadcast, after being fully chilled, I remember thinking that they could have smashed the window with that big wooden table, or a chair, anything non- metal, really. The yt comments also have this point mentioned more than once.

It's actually worse than we thought. Look at this opening show of the fella coming down the path - the kitchen actually has a giant pair or RICKETY GLASS DOORS too. A wooden table would smash them off their hinges (not that anyone without a video would have noticed this, which in 1980 was virtually everyone).

https://youtu.be/CNaIUyYvPzI?t=170
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: willbo on June 29, 2021, 11:45:03 AM
I remember a similar episode of an anthology show where a newlywed couple wake to find they're bricked in to their home (walls behind the windows and doors). Can't remember which show it was now but it was a Roald Dahl type one I think.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: batwings on June 30, 2021, 09:14:32 AM
Having watched The Silent Scream on youtube, this popped up in my yt recommendations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4OtfnNqr6M (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4OtfnNqr6M)
(Filming locations of The Silent Scream - Hammer House of Horror)

Of course, someone in the comments is decrying the fact that the Nazi's pet shop / human zoo is now a food shop called Haji Abdul Ghani.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: icehaven on June 30, 2021, 10:14:16 AM
Does anyone remember a short film with Richard Coyle from "Coupling" going out to buy a condom during a one night stand and then not being able to find the house again?



Friday Night In
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1ckSyku_gQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1ckSyku_gQ)

They've possibly ripped that off from Game On when Martin had a date with an American girl which went well but when he went to buy a condom he couldn't find his way back to her flat. Although it's probably just coincidence.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on June 30, 2021, 08:09:05 PM
I remember a similar episode of an anthology show where a newlywed couple wake to find they're bricked in to their home (walls behind the windows and doors). Can't remember which show it was now but it was a Roald Dahl type one I think.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088909/?ref_=ttep_ep12

The revelation at the end is that they are hi-tech children's dolls in a doll's house from about a century in the future who are so sophisticated that they have consciousness and whose toy house is still in its packaging
.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: willbo on June 30, 2021, 08:56:26 PM
oh wow, don't remember that ending at all.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: icehaven on June 30, 2021, 09:17:46 PM
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088909/?ref_=ttep_ep12

The revelation at the end is that they are hi-tech children's dolls in a doll's house from about a century in the future who are so sophisticated that they have consciousness and whose toy house is still in its packaging
.

That's an old Twilight Zone episode too! There's nothing new under the sun.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on June 30, 2021, 09:41:02 PM
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088909/?ref_=ttep_ep12

The revelation at the end is that they are hi-tech children's dolls in a doll's house from about a century in the future who are so sophisticated that they have consciousness and whose toy house is still in its packaging
.

That's one of my big childhood memories, was sent to bed before it ended and only rediscovered it a few years ago online.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: willbo on July 18, 2021, 07:54:02 AM
I've got a memory of some kind of British sci fi tv play or episode which I would have seen in the late 80s or early 90s but could have been older. It was about some kind of cunning leader - a manipulative man who became leader of a community/group - possibly in space, possibly in a shipwrecked setting or post-apocalypse Earth. It could have been a Doctor Who episode or something.

What I remember most is a scene where the people who are starting to doubt the leader are talking about him privately, and one person considers that the leader might be ok, and an English actor with a grave clipped voice says "He's Hitler. He's Hitler and we've let him become so" (or "we've let him take over" or something). (meaning he's like Hitler). And it brings them all to their senses and they decide to oppose the Leader.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: abobo on July 18, 2021, 07:38:29 PM
The red 🔺️ on channel 4
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Yussef Dent on July 19, 2021, 02:07:12 AM
Getting in very late from a night out around 2005/06 and putting ITV cashcow Quizmania on. It was coming to the end of the show and they wanted to close it out with the end of that particular game to guess items found in a kitchen. Rattling through callers and with minutes to go, the presenter, Greg Scott (who eventually I'll get round to tweeting him about this as there's no evidence for it anywhere and I don't know anyone else who saw it), decides to give away one of the answers with the first word of cheese. "It's four letters, it rhymes with fire, hire, tyre... okay next caller, what's your answer?" It was for something like £3000... a woman excitedly answers "BOARD!"

Another one nobody remembers and I don't know why it was changed, but Chatback with its rave tune of "0891 FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY" became Chatterbox, same music but the number was 0891 21 21 21
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Tikwid on July 19, 2021, 12:30:54 PM
Another one nobody remembers and I don't know why it was changed, but Chatback with its rave tune of "0891 FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY" became Chatterbox, same music but the number was 0891 21 21 21
Scott Walker considers lucrative new licensing opportunity
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: George White on July 26, 2021, 11:44:42 AM
I've got a memory of some kind of British sci fi tv play or episode which I would have seen in the late 80s or early 90s but could have been older. It was about some kind of cunning leader - a manipulative man who became leader of a community/group - possibly in space, possibly in a shipwrecked setting or post-apocalypse Earth. It could have been a Doctor Who episode or something.

What I remember most is a scene where the people who are starting to doubt the leader are talking about him privately, and one person considers that the leader might be ok, and an English actor with a grave clipped voice says "He's Hitler. He's Hitler and we've let him become so" (or "we've let him take over" or something). (meaning he's like Hitler). And it brings them all to their senses and they decide to oppose the Leader.
Goliath Awaits?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: willbo on July 26, 2021, 08:30:26 PM
thanks for the tip on Goliath, I'll try and see that.


Also remember an ad that used a Lamb of God song and another where a lad from my school played a goth who was embarassed to be seen with a Lidl bag.

Seem to remember anything that skewed towards the rock scene unexpectedly.

I remember in the early 00s the older girl in "my parents are aliens" had Cradle of Filth on in her room, caused a bit of a stir in Kerrang at the time. I also remember Korn's "predictable" on a recent bbc ad?

some other randoms -

Frank Skinner telling a story on a chat show about his suppository falling on the floor during a dinner date

Richard Madeley discussing a historical woman who had relationships with powerful people (someone like Marilyn Monroe or Wallis Simpson?) with a historical author, and the author bought up the subject's vaginal tightness

Richard Madeley called comic writer Mark Millar "Miller" to which Millar visibly scowled

Benedict Cumberbatch on ITV breakfast to promote the new series of Sherlock starting that evening, they try to make him put a cartoony Holmes deerstalker hat, he understandably doesn't want to (the show is building up to showing in one for the first time) and starts snapping with panic "it won't fit! I'm telling you it won't fit!"

Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Replies From View on July 29, 2021, 05:20:58 PM
Anyone remember an ostrich running through a desert in slow motion with the Chariots of Fire music playing?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on July 29, 2021, 05:53:53 PM
Anyone remember an ostrich running through a desert in slow motion with the Chariots of Fire music playing?

We found Max the Lion, we'll find this!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Glebe on July 29, 2021, 06:32:22 PM
Anyone remember an ostrich running through a desert in slow motion with the Chariots of Fire music playing?

Here's an ostrich's 'wry' eye being cast over that comment!:

(https://i.imgur.com/wcSMlrf.gif)

(From the Talk Talk music video 'It's Eye Life'.)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Satchmo Distel on August 02, 2021, 04:59:55 PM
As a small child, I learned the word 'tomfoolery' from this animated series (1970-71):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo0DjdCn6pk&ab_channel=toontracker
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jamiefairlie on August 02, 2021, 05:47:17 PM
As a small child, I learned the word 'tomfoolery' from this animated series (1970-71):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo0DjdCn6pk&ab_channel=toontracker

Oh I loved that show! It’s right on the dawn my memory too, so shrouded on being tantalizingly close to my pre-memory days.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ambient Sheep on August 02, 2021, 05:51:46 PM
Likewise.  When I first dug out that theme tune from the internet a few years ago, the Proustian Rush was immense, esoecially regarding the opening animations.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: jamiefairlie on August 02, 2021, 05:53:45 PM
Here’s a very specific and obscure memory that I’ve never had validated be another living soul. Early evening magazine show Nationwide, of Lawley and Bough fame, around late 81. They used to run a kind of ‘battle of the bands/proto-pop idol’ thing for new artists. I have a clear memory of turning the TV on and catching the last minute of a young band doing a cover of ‘Ice Age’ by Joy Division. It was so unlikely that it lodged itself firmly in my brain but I’ve never found any validation that it actually happened.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Famous Mortimer on August 03, 2021, 02:56:36 PM
Here’s a very specific and obscure memory that I’ve never had validated be another living soul. Early evening magazine show Nationwide, of Lawley and Bough fame, around late 81. They used to run a kind of ‘battle of the bands/proto-pop idol’ thing for new artists. I have a clear memory of turning the TV on and catching the last minute of a young band doing a cover of ‘Ice Age’ by Joy Division. It was so unlikely that it lodged itself firmly in my brain but I’ve never found any validation that it actually happened.
There's an amount of it on Youtube, if you've got a quiet evening you could always skim through a few, see if you get lucky.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: The Silver Knight on August 29, 2021, 01:44:40 AM
I've got a memory of some kind of British sci fi tv play or episode which I would have seen in the late 80s or early 90s but could have been older. It was about some kind of cunning leader - a manipulative man who became leader of a community/group - possibly in space, possibly in a shipwrecked setting or post-apocalypse Earth. It could have been a Doctor Who episode or something.

What I remember most is a scene where the people who are starting to doubt the leader are talking about him privately, and one person considers that the leader might be ok, and an English actor with a grave clipped voice says "He's Hitler. He's Hitler and we've let him become so" (or "we've let him take over" or something). (meaning he's like Hitler). And it brings them all to their senses and they decide to oppose the Leader.

This could be the Twilight Zone episode 'On Thursday We Leave For Home'.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: itsfredtitmus on August 29, 2021, 04:05:10 AM
when he took a shit like
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: JesusAndYourBush on August 30, 2021, 12:08:48 AM
Sci-fi.  Some sort of alien threat is detected and all the countries who have nuclear weapons have to shoot them at the aliens who are in space somewhere.  This makes everyone come together and forget past differences because of the greater threat.  Afterwards it's suggested maybe there never were any aliens and it was just a ploy to get rid of all the nukes.  Can't remember if it was a movie or tv show, might even have been a book I suppose.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Shaky on August 30, 2021, 04:10:52 AM
That's more or less the main plot of Watchmen (the comic, anyway).
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: mothman on August 30, 2021, 10:42:59 AM
Definitely rings a bell. In fact that reminds me of something thematically similar (but which definitely isn’t this) which I must ask about in the hard to find movies thread…
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Ron Maels Moustache on August 31, 2021, 03:07:02 PM
Here's an odd one...does anyone remember a one-off documentary on Channel 4 which was supposedly following author/screenwriter Alex Garland around, interviewing people in the street asking what they know about him and so on. This would've been around 99/00 when he'd only published two novels and had yet to crossover into films.

At some point through the big twist is revealed that that the guy isn't Alex Garland at all, and the whole thing was some kind-of bizarre meta-hoax. It was all very strange and conceptual but I can't find any reference to it online, it seems to've fallen through a memory hole just like "Diana: The Opera".

Edit: Spoke too soon, I've found out what this was. It was "Alex & I" from 2001. Just glad I didn't completely make it up, to be honest.

http://www.elevenfilm.com/film/alex-and-i/

Quote
Created and directed by Jamie Campbell and Joel Wilson for Channel 4 in 2001, this spoof documentary appears to follow the novelist Alex Garland to New York, where he attempts to publish a book under a pseudonym. Things are not as they seem, however.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: mothman on October 06, 2021, 03:59:04 PM
A TV advert, likely from the 1980s, for some foodstuff, with a mediaeval setting. At one point someone says “It costeth little, and feedeth many!” For a while it was a family joke. Ring any bells?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Gurke and Hare on October 06, 2021, 06:54:59 PM
Weirdly, a google search for

“It costeth little, and feedeth many!”

gives a mediaeval set food advert as the first result, but not the one you're after.

https://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/1cb50fa9-a308-4796-9fdc-35104df3a96f
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Replies From View on October 06, 2021, 07:14:02 PM
What was the advert that had a group of something or other saying "oh no, not agadoo!!!" and running off?
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: mothman on October 06, 2021, 08:42:35 PM
Weirdly, a google search for

gives a mediaeval set food advert as the first result, but not the one you're after.

https://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/1cb50fa9-a308-4796-9fdc-35104df3a96f

Yes, you’re right, i forgot to mention I tried that too - sorry to waste your time G&H, but thanks for trying!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Catalogue Trousers on October 06, 2021, 09:35:29 PM
A TV advert, likely from the 1980s, for some foodstuff, with a mediaeval setting. At one point someone says “It costeth little, and feedeth many!” For a while it was a family joke. Ring any bells?

There's also an ad from the Meat Council (or whatever it's called) bigging up British pork, which was set in Sherwood Forest and had Friar Tuck cooking up a big ol' roast for Robin and the gang:

''Tis a goodly roast, Friar!'
'And verily it costeth not a lot.'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-V_4TbYXaGo
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: mothman on October 06, 2021, 09:46:50 PM
I think that’s probably it. Looks like I had the two parts of the quote backwards. Thanks CT!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Catalogue Trousers on October 06, 2021, 09:52:12 PM
Glad to help! Time frame is right as well - I remember people quoting it when I was at Uni in the mid-1980s.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: A Hat Like That on October 07, 2021, 01:14:26 PM
Quote
the Meat Council

Paul Weller side-project hell.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on October 07, 2021, 02:56:06 PM
Some advert for some food or something where it's like a wife and a blokey bloke, and she keeps suggesting foods and he goes 'with me steak!' and eventually she makes whatever fucking thing it's about and she goes 'And now, how would you like your steak?' but now he doesn't want the steak because whatever it was he ate first was actually nice?

My family used to go 'with me steak!!' all the time
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Chriddof on October 07, 2021, 05:06:34 PM
That was for some early 90s Birds Eye thing which was a vegetarian replacement for a steak, or possibly some kind of veggie burger. The way I recall it is that she started naming things that you might eat with a steak, like chips and green beans, and he'd say "...With me steak!" after each one. Then she brought out said veggie thing and he said "...With me steak?!" in an appalled way, like she was having him on, and also like he could only say three words.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Replies From View on October 07, 2021, 05:11:56 PM
What was the advert that had a group of something or other saying "oh no, not agadoo!!!" and running off?

This one please.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: batwings on October 07, 2021, 05:53:47 PM
What was the advert that had a group of something or other saying "oh no, not agadoo!!!" and running off?

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xju2co (https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xju2co)
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Replies From View on October 07, 2021, 08:12:40 PM
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xju2co (https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xju2co)

Thanks, and what a shit thing for me to have vaguely remembered!
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: non capisco on October 07, 2021, 10:44:28 PM
Any luck on the ostrich running in slow motion to Chariots Of Fire, RFV? I get strangely haunted by the bit in the Talk Talk video, knowing that's almost definitely the source footage. I sort of long to accidentally find it for you every time I go down a TV continuity rabbit hole on YouTube.
Title: Re: More inessential shit from the backwaters of old TV you somehow still remember
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on October 08, 2021, 10:13:10 AM
That was for some early 90s Birds Eye thing which was a vegetarian replacement for a steak, or possibly some kind of veggie burger. The way I recall it is that she started naming things that you might eat with a steak, like chips and green beans, and he'd say "...With me steak!" after each one. Then she brought out said veggie thing and he said "...With me steak?!" in an appalled way, like she was having him on, and also like he could only say three words.
I'm glad it's not just me that remembers this