Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => General Bullshit => Topic started by: Replies From View on September 11, 2021, 07:26:53 PM

Title: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Replies From View on September 11, 2021, 07:26:53 PM
A jar of peanut butter fell out of the kitchen cupboard today, smashed on the fucking floor.  Shards of glass everywhere, had to go and get a dustpan and brush and give the floor a bit of a wipe too. 


Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: imitationleather on September 11, 2021, 07:27:15 PM
I am very pleased to hear that.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Replies From View on September 11, 2021, 07:30:26 PM
No it is awful



Surely you experienced something similar
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Butchers Blind on September 11, 2021, 07:31:13 PM
Personal 9/11.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: The Mollusk on September 11, 2021, 07:32:29 PM
I’ve got a dreadful hangover today, inside of my head feels like what I’d imagine those buildings felt like when the planes smashed into them. Same deal, definitely related on some weird cosmic level beyond human comprehension. I’d be fine today if it weren’t the 20 year anniversary of that tragedy.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: mothman on September 11, 2021, 07:34:31 PM
The only way to break the curse is to drop a jar of jelly (jam will do as a substitute) to symbolise the fall of the second tower.

And then stamp on the loaf of bread, for Tower 7. #neverforget
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 11, 2021, 07:36:34 PM
I did the shop without checking to see if I needed onions, turns out I need onions.

I think some people are having a rave in a warehouse round the corner from me, or someone has a PA in their flat and is absolutely blasting it. Either way I can just here a deep boom from shitty (post-happy) hardcore.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: imitationleather on September 11, 2021, 07:40:10 PM
I’ve got a dreadful hangover today, inside of my head feels like what I’d imagine those buildings felt like when the planes smashed into them. Same deal, definitely related on some weird cosmic level beyond human comprehension. I’d be fine today if it weren’t the 20 year anniversary of that tragedy.

I am very pleased to hear that.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on September 11, 2021, 07:44:42 PM
I was bitten by a disaster and now every 9/11 I turn into a tragedy
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: chveik on September 11, 2021, 07:47:28 PM
(post-happy) hardcore.

cunts should be blasting some Stockhausen instead
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Replies From View on September 11, 2021, 08:15:07 PM
I am very pleased to hear that.

You are pleased that the original 9/11 happened, this means
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: imitationleather on September 11, 2021, 08:16:30 PM
Yes.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: jamiefairlie on September 11, 2021, 08:29:09 PM
A jar of peanut butter fell out of the kitchen cupboard today, smashed on the fucking floor.  Shards of glass everywhere, had to go and get a dustpan and brush and give the floor a bit of a wipe too.

And that was just the start of the nightmare for Peter Gibbs.

I’m Greg Evigan.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Replies From View on September 11, 2021, 08:31:47 PM
And that was just the start of the nightmare for Peter Gibbs.

I’m Greg Evigan.

"and I am to blame for 9/11"


well I hope 20 years has been enough time for you to become fully ashamed of yourself.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: dissolute ocelot on September 11, 2021, 08:39:58 PM
Thought Tesco didn't have any salad onions. They've only gone and moved them!

Maybe if George W Bush had looked next to the mange touts.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 11, 2021, 09:15:13 PM
oh actually it's an outdoor rave on the other side of the clyde, sounds much nearer.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Cold Meat Platter on September 11, 2021, 09:33:55 PM
Thought Tesco didn't have any salad onions. They've only gone and moved them!

Maybe if George W Bush had looked next to the mange touts.

Salad onions hmmph. The PC Brigade strikes again. Can't say Spring Onion anymore because of the muslims.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: ColinPopshed on September 11, 2021, 10:01:21 PM
A jar of peanut butter fell out of the kitchen cupboard today, smashed on the fucking floor.  Shards of glass everywhere, had to go and get a dustpan and brush and give the floor a bit of a wipe too.

Tesco own brand comes in a plastic jar. No repeat disaster.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: kalowski on September 11, 2021, 10:25:59 PM
No it is awful



Surely you experienced something similar
Too bloody right. My knee is a little bit sore today.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on September 11, 2021, 10:40:27 PM
I don't know if I could bare the embarrassment of inviting Khalid Sheikh Mohammed around, sharing a jar of peanut butter with him and then him feeling insulted because it was Tesco own brand.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Replies From View on September 11, 2021, 10:45:30 PM
Tesco own brand comes in a plastic jar. No repeat disaster.

I ain’t getting no Tescos to make it for me.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: popcorn on September 11, 2021, 11:07:16 PM
If you get the Tesco plastic jar peanut butter then the jar simply bounces back into your open hand if you drop it.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: idunnosomename on September 11, 2021, 11:22:36 PM
controlled demolition
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Dex Sawash on September 11, 2021, 11:27:51 PM
controlled demolition

PEANUT BUTTER DOESN'T BREAK GLASS JARS
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on September 11, 2021, 11:57:29 PM
If you get the Tesco plastic jar peanut butter then the jar simply bounces back into your open hand if you drop it.

The morrisons stuff has a glass jar but plastic lid that smashes if you drop it. And if you've 'upcycled' it into storing your abv, spills it all over the floor and you have to get the dustbuster. So I'm told.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: ColinPopshed on September 12, 2021, 07:53:41 PM
I’ve really got back into peanut butter recently. I think it’s since we stopped buying the organic salt free stuff for our child.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Kankurette on September 12, 2021, 09:23:26 PM
My dad died on 9/11. Although it was 8 years before it happened, tbf.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Cold Meat Platter on September 12, 2021, 11:45:51 PM
I think we all died a bit that day.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: bgmnts on September 12, 2021, 11:47:27 PM
My childhood ambition of becoming a monolithic skyscraper in New York City died pretty quickly.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Video Game Fan 2000 on September 12, 2021, 11:52:47 PM
My childhood ambition of becoming a monolithic skyscraper in New York City died pretty quickly.

As a huge cancer causing cloud of dust and particles, I know its exactly what its like to have your dreams crushed by negative representations in the media
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 13, 2021, 07:52:53 AM
I had a bus ticketing issue on Saturday, the blackest day.

When stuff like that happens it reminds you of the lives we tragically lost and our heroes in the emergency services, not to mention the forces protecting us at home and abroad.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: gilbertharding on September 13, 2021, 11:32:49 AM
About a week ago I had to sign a birthday card for a colleague... I asked someone when his actual birthday was, and they said it was the ninth. So there's me, thinking that the next time I see him (which happens to be today) I'll ask him what it was like to have been born on such a cursed date because I have somehow forgotten that the nine in nine eleven stands for fucking September, doesn't it you fucking idiot?

Still, at least I realised before I actually said anything.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Replies From View on September 13, 2021, 12:12:32 PM
About a week ago I had to sign a birthday card for a colleague... I asked someone when his actual birthday was, and they said it was the ninth. So there's me, thinking that the next time I see him (which happens to be today) I'll ask him what it was like to have been born on such a cursed date because I have somehow forgotten that the nine in nine eleven stands for fucking September, doesn't it you fucking idiot?

Still, at least I realised before I actually said anything.

Don’t worry, I saw somebody making the exact same mistake on Thursday.  Looked at me as they were writing the date down and said “20 years ago today…”

I told them not until Saturday and they felt SO FUCKING STUPID.  It’s inappropriate to be cheerful when memorialising tragedy so I am glad to have ruined their 9th of September.

If I’d had the resources I’d have taken all their office equipment, ground it to dust and forced them to inhale all of it through tubing.  Have some empathy for those whose telephones vanished into thin air while they died, cunt.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Cloud on September 13, 2021, 12:23:03 PM
Did you then proceed to smash 10 of someone else's jars of peanut butter to avenge your 1?
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Butchers Blind on September 13, 2021, 12:24:58 PM
Dropped a weetabix on the floor this morning; fucking wheaty flakes everywhere. Never Forget.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: Captain Z on September 13, 2021, 01:11:41 PM
When you think about it, Sept, Oct, Nov, and Dec prefixing the 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th months is ridiculous. No wonder they wanted to attack us.
Title: Re: The curse of 9/11
Post by: shiftwork2 on September 13, 2021, 02:33:32 PM
I had a bus ticketing issue on Saturday, the blackest day.

When stuff like that happens it reminds you of the lives we tragically lost and our heroes in the emergency services, not to mention the forces protecting us at home and abroad.

Was this Mardy Bus charging negative money again?