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March 29, 2024, 10:33:33 AM

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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

the Fallen

Gary reckons there should be white history month

Paul Calf

Gary unleashes a stream of toxic insults at the local adult education college when they tell him for the 23rd time that they don't think there'll be demand or even enough material for him to teach a three-year degree in Legendary Studies.

shoulders

Quote from: the Fallen on December 16, 2021, 01:59:37 PMGary reckons there should be white history month

Gary makes White History Month on a poster with felt tips.

Rain puts paid to its positioning on a roundabout.

Slags, he mutters. Slags win again.


the Fallen

Quote from: shoulders on December 16, 2021, 04:56:09 PMGary makes White History Month on a poster with felt tips.

Rain puts paid to its positioning on a roundabout.

Slags, he mutters. Slags win again.



Fuck this for a game of soldiers, Gary reckons.

I'm gonna make white history right HERE

Gary fumbles a baggie out his pocket for a cheeky key and moons a passing ambulance.

Fambo Number Mive

Quote from: Paul Calf on December 16, 2021, 02:16:50 PMGary unleashes a stream of toxic insults at the local adult education college when they tell him for the 23rd time that they don't think there'll be demand or even enough material for him to teach a three-year degree in Legendary Studies.

"You teach all them woke languages but won't allow me to teach a degree which will be actually useful!"

shoulders

The denied opportunity for parenthesis in a deed poll middle name change gets Legend Gary so narked he BODIES a wren

shoulders

Legend Gary gets PIZZA KEBABS BURGERS knuckle tats then remembers how many knuckles are on a human body

shoulders

Legend Gary has a railing named after him. Points it out to people

shoulders

Legend Gary buys a Demon Headmaster themed stairlift and commits to 'ragging the living shit out of the cunt'.

shoulders

Legend Gary asks the showroom boss whether if he slips him a tenner he can 'turn this cunt up to belsen'

He means the desk fan, not the car.

shoulders

Legend Gary's CV is accessible behind a dog turd carapace.

the Fallen

Quote from: shoulders on December 16, 2021, 05:18:21 PMLegend Gary has a railing named after him. Points it out to people

Loves it's also an accident black spot.

Cunts should leave flowers in tribute to the Ledge. Or weed. He might leave a note

the Fallen

Quote from: shoulders on December 16, 2021, 05:30:54 PMLegend Gary's CV is accessible behind a dog turd carapace.

3 4 50
dropped off 24/7
2 minute
NASA quality

Ask for Daz
0777852252554

Glebe

Gary's new campaign 'Gammons against Wokes' is gaining momentum, with Toolshed James promising to turn up at Thursday's CaW March through the precinct. "Don't wear no face mask though James, no face masks allowed in the protest!

the Fallen

Gary doesn't know what's more funny. Accidentally glassing Daz with a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, or that it was Daz's bottle and while he was buying it Gary lifted his wallet and keys

Gary legs it out past the soggy and lightly injured Daz and flags down a passing fast black and scoots it to Daz's flat. This is gonna be a riot pal!

Gary picks up a brass on the way.

Paul Calf

Gary sees a notification from his Facebook catfishing account 'Cherie Bailey'. Daz has replied to his pornographically explicit message with a positively obscene description of an imagined afternoon behind the Iceland next to the trollies.

Just a couple more and he's going to anonymously email the logins to Daz's new girlfriend. That'll teach the cunt.

MATES BEFORE FUCKING CHICKS, DARREN.

the Fallen

Daz feels a sharp prick on his arm and turns and there's Gary with a pin.

"The fuck you do that for Gary?"

"Booster jab!" Gary cries. "Let's go bare clubbing with this, bang some bare arms blud"

Glebe

You might be surprised to learn that Gary can speak and write in fluent Latin.

shoulders

Quote from: Glebe on December 17, 2021, 04:07:05 PMYou might be surprised to learn that Gary can speak and write in fluent Latin.

Particularly as it isn't true

Glebe

Quote from: shoulders on December 17, 2021, 04:09:00 PMParticularly as it isn't true

"Quids pros quo, Daz!"

"Eh Gary?"

"Picked up a couple prozzies for 20 squids outside a Status Quo gig last night!"

Blue Jam

Legend Gary doesn't really care for Christmas. The real highlight of the festive season is Mad Friday.

Blue Jam

Legend Gary is banned from entering the town of Gävle.

king_tubby


Glebe

Daz is at that stage of drunkenness where he starts singing Eiffel 65's 'I'm Blue'.

"I'm blue da ba dee da ba di da ba di..."

"No Daz!"

Gary's limbs start to move and he's away.

"He'll be dancing for hours!" laughs Sociopathic Stew.

the Fallen

With the breezy sigh and smile of a veteran entertainer wheeling out the golden routine for one last payday, Gary realises the emergence of a new Covid means it's funny again to cough in faces

the Fallen

Outraged at McDonald's refusing to serve him because he hasn't got a mask on, Gary tries to start a chant for Freedom Fries

the Fallen

Like a dog picking up danger Gary senses another man of roughly the same build and certainly the same haircut in a puffer jacket you'd swear is exactly the same as Gary's except Gary's is black and this cunt's puffer jacket is a very dark grey so Gary watches him and won't can't break that eye contact even as Daz ushers him onwards towards the vaccination centre like he promised Gary's mum but then they pass a pub

the Fallen

Gary has Daz play entrance music off his phone when he goes into a room and it's Jackass

Glebe

Gary organises his own lockdown with his first measure being locking Daz in a cage.

the Fallen

Gary kicks dog shit down the road chuckling cause he's wearing Daz's wedding shoes