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March 28, 2024, 05:50:41 PM

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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

the Fallen

Gary almost has a breakfast of champions.

Cuts the line of toot fine and snorts like a riot act, but thinks better against the can of Monster. It's only Tuesday. Right, off to mum's funeral

Glebe

"Merry Christmas Daz!"

"Half a tub of banana Nesquik. Cheers Gary."

Pink Gregory

Gary kicks off when Barman Bartholemew says that he can't have a 'yard of WKD'

Glebe

Quote from: Pink Gregory on December 20, 2021, 09:36:01 AMGary kicks off when Barman Bartholemew says that he can't have a 'yard of WKD'

"Barney Brendan was fine with it! He gave Irish measures!"

Glebe

"Get in that press, Daz!"

"Gary I won't fit!"

"Yes you will! Now get in that press!"

"Gary I'm too big to fit!"

There is a struggle and a tussle and Gary soon has Daz against the kitchen unit and is in the process of pushing him into the press. He scrunches him in and pushes the press door to.

"There you go Daz! Told you I could do it!"

"Nu ah uh fudding nentalcaze, Nary."

the Fallen

Quote from: Glebe on December 20, 2021, 05:26:37 PM"Barney Brendan was fine with it! He gave Irish measures!"

Legend Gary has a yard of sniff first thing

"I'm trying to cut down"

the Fallen

Daz asks Gary if he's doing dry January then wakes up with a black eye and a note pinned to Daz's blue puffer jacket reading I AM NOT A FUCKING CHARITY

Glebe

Haha d'oh that should have been 'Barman' Brendan!

the Fallen

Legend Gary designates this back cubicle for drugs

Alert when an old bloke goes in there

He is not one of us. Man on

Glebe

"That's Heineken Mike's dad, Gary."

"Is it now?"

the Fallen

Legend Gary has a Stella glass and that's his Stella glass and if some other fucker has it then there's scenes

Glebe

Quote from: the Fallen on December 21, 2021, 10:43:44 PMLegend Gary has a Stella glass and that's his Stella glass and if some other fucker has it then there's scenes

"'Moretti'? What's this old man in a hat, Daz?"

"You've seen the ads with the foreign people on the balcony, Gary."

shoulders

Legend Gary has an ideation where he owns a van and can just round people up where he sees fit.

'Perfeck, bloomin' paradise it'd be'

Glebe


the Fallen

Legend Gary buys Daz a big moulded purple dildo for Christmas again and makes Daz Facetime him opening it in front of his mum and dad again

the Fallen

Legend Gary's mum's heart is broken when Legend Gary just had to have a fucking fight on Christmas Day of all days again Jesus Gary when will it stop! Don't look at Daz he doesn't do anything it's only a windwiper

the Fallen

Legend Gary hears the way the winds are blowing so resolves to get in big with the Chinese

frajer

Quote from: the Fallen on December 22, 2021, 08:48:48 PMLegend Gary hears the way the winds are blowing so resolves to get in big with the Chinese

Replaces Daz with a Tamagotchi, instantly makes it shit itself to death.

shoulders

Quote from: the Fallen on December 22, 2021, 08:48:48 PMLegend Gary hears the way the winds are blowing so resolves to get in big with the Chinese

"You can say ch**ks all night long, look! They don't bat an eyelid!"

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary writes to BBC Radio 4 asking for a slot on Unsafe Space.

Glebe

Gary brings his niece into Poundstretcher and tells her to pick her Christmas present. "Nothing over £1.49. And hurry up!" he sighs angrily.

the Fallen

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on December 22, 2021, 09:37:58 PMLegend Gary writes to BBC Radio 4 asking for a slot on Unsafe Space.

"Where is man's hour?"

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary describes Tomfoolery as "the new T.S.Eliot"

Glebe

"Fancy some egg nog Daz?"

"Oh thanks Gary! Mmmm!"

"Spunky egg nog!"

Daz vomits spontaneously.

the Fallen

Quote from: Glebe on December 23, 2021, 11:45:24 AM"Fancy some egg nog Daz?"

"Oh thanks Gary! Mmmm!"

"Spunky egg nog!"

Daz vomits spontaneously.

Gary catches this in a Heineken glass

DOWN IN ONE

Lucky it weren't the San Miguel, Daz

Glebe

Quote from: the Fallen on December 23, 2021, 11:50:38 AMGary catches this in a Heineken glass

DOWN IN ONE

Lucky it weren't the San Miguel, Daz

"Here have a drop of 'brown' ale!"

the Fallen

You know all those little canisters of laughing gas fucking everywhere underfoot you slip and tumble on them every time you gander to the post office?

Gary's

Fambo Number Mive

Gary spends £100 on LadBaby merch, including a sausage roll plushie.

Glebe

Gary dresses up as a pantomime goose and goes mental all around town.

Glebe

Gary absolutely batters Daz for daring to suggest they get a fairy for the top of the tree. "I'll fucking put YOU up the top of that tree Daz, y'big fairy. Heh. Quite clever that. Battered ya."