LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[the Fallen]

Gary says he bets Daz does dry January

"i wasn't planning on stopping drinking, Gary mate"

Dry FANNYuary haha! Daz'll not get some this month!

Now get the ale in prick

[Glebe]

"Gary, get all these people out of here! We're not through the crisis yet!"

"Ah chill out Daz! Now, let's play 'Guess the Penis' guys! Lads behind the curtain, lasses out in front!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

I didn't realise Legend Gary has a child:

The day of delivery finally came, and the mum-to-be had been in labour for around eight hours and had just finished another round of contractions, when her husband let out the loudest fart and shouted at her, "what the hell have you been eating? It smells disgusting!"

She immediately recognised this little routine as one of the pranks from the videos he'd been watching and was absolutely furious, so demanded he leave the room for not honouring her wishes of no pranks...

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/i-kicked-husband-out-during-25840517

[Glebe]

Daz awakes to find himself being bundled into a sack. He is placed into the boot of a car and after a short journey he is dragged out and the next thing he knows he is going down the water slide at the local leisure centre. Gary and Mad Jim dry him off and take him home. "That was a great laugh Daz, you're a good sport!"

[Glebe]

"Sigh. Back to normal life eh Daz?"

"It's the January blues Gary."

"Yeah. Fetch the hockey sticks let's go smash some bus stop shelters."

[Glebe]

Gary fucks with Daz's paranoia by calling him "an arse in a handbasket not worth spunking on."

[shoulders]

Legend Gary is spied wandering around the precincts with a traffic cone 'hardon' shouting 'BITTY! BITTY!' at middle aged women.

[Glebe]

Daz awakes at 4AM to discover Gary actually trying to swallow a can of Tennent's.

[Glebe]

Gary runs out into the frost in his underpants screaming "I CAN FEEL SPRING IN THE AIR, DAZ!"

[Glebe]

Gary is having a hard time convicing Daz that Mr Chips' first name is 'Rontos'.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary does a lovely painting but it's of his cock and balls.

[Glebe]

Gary does a lovely painting but it's of his cock and balls.

"Still though," muses the local councillor, surveying the mural, "it has a certain je ne sais quoi."

[jenna appleseed]

Gary is having a hard time convicing Daz that Mr Chips' first name is 'Rontos'.

"I thought his first name was Cheapas..."

[Glebe]

Gary spins Daz around in a tumbling ball!

[the Fallen]

Gary asserts he's well like the straight Kray

Daz is the other one

[Glebe]

Gary posts a load of drugs to his local army barracks with a note, "There you are lads enjoy thank you for keeping the world safe from Islam."

[the Fallen]

Gary posts a load of drugs to his local army barracks with a note, "There you are lads enjoy thank you for keeping the world safe from Islam."

This is the route til that poof Daz forgives him for the drone that goes over the prison wall being shot down

Cregan needed the nod, Daz

[Glebe]

This is the route til that poof Daz forgives him for the drone that goes over the prison wall being shot down

"I didn't know it was carrying a cake with a file for Mad Tony Daz!"

[the Fallen]

LEGEND GARY LOGS onto TripAdvisor.com and his face gains more pallor as the shock and disappointment curdles into rage

[Paul Calf]

Gary decides he's going to do a bit of AirBnB but his mum won't let him rent out his room

[Glebe]

Gary declares a New Year's amnesty on batterings.

"So you're safe till Feb 1st, Daz!"

"Cheers Gary."

"What did you say you cheeky git?"

*THUMP*

[Glebe]

"Just saw a grown man wearing a Harry Potter T-shirt Daz. That's a red rag to a bull to me battered him."

[king_tubby]

'But Gary, JK Rowling is one of us now! She's anti-woke!'

'For fuck's sake Daz, why didn't you tell me? Shitkickus Dazoutofa!'

[Glebe]

"I can agree with her views without liking her work Daz."

"That's the most reasonable thing you've ever said Gary. You've still putting a bloke in intensive care though."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary self published a third volume of his anecdotes. Sells 5 copies.

[shoulders]

Legend Gary is stuck with Tattoo Ian and his two sons.

[Glebe]

Gary is watching a Ray Mears video on YT on his phone.

"He's lost in a forest, it's great Daz!"

"Yeah Gary but your insistence on watching the whole thing before we get off the bus means we have missed our stop by several miles."

"Get to fuck Daz! You and your 'logic'!"

[Paul Calf]

Gary self published a third volume of his anecdotes. Sells 5 copies.

And he bought four of them.

[Glebe]

"A local man has been charged with knocking a traffic warden out with a packet of chicken dippers. Gareth..."

[the Fallen]

Gary went to a 24 hour petrol station at 4am to buy Stella

Knocking it back even now. Finessed. Almost chatted up a nurse in the queue too, the slag, shame she was dyke