Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 02:31:41 PM

Login with username, password and session length

LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Paul Calf


Glebe


dex

Gary spends £2K on Wu Wear tracksuits

shoulders

Gary's new skin disorder mate Space Mumps dies in a run of the mill road traffic accident, after running away from a mill he attempts to rob.

Glebe

Quote from: shoulders on January 31, 2022, 11:12:26 AMGary's new skin disorder mate Space Mumps

Heh! Nice Shoulders that's made me lol!

Glebe

"Gary I think I was well within my rights to call the police after you stabbed me to bits last week."

"Hmmm, that's a bit of legal grey area Daz. You got stitched up and send home, I didn't puncture any major arteries or nowt."

"Still, I'm starting to think I should have had you up in court over it."

"Don't be daft Daz. That six pack of Erdinger was compensation enough. Don't get greedy!"

Glebe

It turns out Gary is a classically-trained pianist.

Paul Calf

Daz sniggers

"PIANIST, Darren! PIANIST!"

Glebe

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 01, 2022, 05:01:13 AMDaz sniggers

"PIANIST, Darren! PIANIST!"

"Gary I'm laughing with surprise that you have such talent. I didn't think that you said that YOU ARE A PENIS GARY. Snigger!"

Glebe

Gary makes Daz a Rontos Chips costume out of cereal boxes, "Get in that."

Gary eats a vindaloo then lights his fart with a cigarette lighter, ending up with a colostomy bag.

Fambo Number Mive

Gary posts on Facebook a video of him burning a facemask.

Paul Calf

#1602
Gary is asked to provide a stool sample for the doctor.

"GET THE FUCK IN!" he exclaims. He has waited all his life for this moment.

shoulders

Legend Gary claims to have won 'a substantial payout' from Legal Ombudsman, and brooks no quarter when you point out to him prostitution is effectively unregulated and anyway, Legal Ombudsman would have no jurisdiction in such an event that it were.

king_tubby

Legend Gary signs up to do A Levels at night school so he can get in to Oxford and 'team up with those legends in the Bullingdon club, Daz'.

Fambo Number Mive

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 02, 2022, 08:55:59 AMGary is asked to provide a stool sample for the doctor.

"GET THE FUCK IN!" he exclaims. He has waited all his life for this moment.

He comes back from the toilet with a small wooden stool he had hidden in his rucksack. The doctor does not see the funny side.

Paul Calf


Paul Calf

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on February 02, 2022, 09:31:52 AMHe comes back from the toilet with a small wooden stool he had hidden in his rucksack. The doctor does not see the funny side.

Especially when Gary reveals that he's shat on it.

Glebe

Gary calls for a referendum on "the Stella bill."

Fambo Number Mive

Gary and Daz submit their "non-woke, updated Only Fools and Horses" script to the BBC, who bin it.

Legend Gary checks very carefully that his mates aren't looking, before he enters the music school where he learns cello and harp.

Captain Poodle Basher

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on February 02, 2022, 02:39:25 PMLegend Gary checks very carefully that his mates aren't looking, before he enters the music school where he learns cello and harp.

Gary says that all those years of perfecting his "Come and get a piece of me if you think you're up to it" wide-legged stance has made accommodating the cello, "A piece of fucking piss."

Fambo Number Mive

Daz and Gary get matching tattooes of Nigel Farage and Churchill holding Union Jack's and shaking hands, with "Rule Brittainia" below it.


Glebe

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on February 02, 2022, 02:39:25 PMLegend Gary checks very carefully that his mates aren't looking, before he enters the music school where he learns cello and harp.

"I'm already an accomplished pianist, I'll have mastered the entire orchestra in a matter of weeks!"

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on February 03, 2022, 06:36:58 AMDaz and Gary get matching tattooes of Nigel Farage and Churchill holding Union Jack's and shaking hands, with "Rule Brittainia" below it.

"...IN ENGLAND'S GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND!"

"Get down off the table and get out of my parlour, lads."

dex

Gary engineers a fully working electricity turbine that runs on shit and Carling and then smashes it up because he realises that it could really help other people. "Parasites, Daz. Can't have that."

Glebe

Gary puts Daz in a cement mixer.

Glebe

Gary organises a special 'Party for Boris'. "It's time to give a bit of support to our great Prime Minister Daz. If you refuse to attend my moral-boosting bash I will crush y'jacobs in a vice."

Glebe

Gary is doing something idiotic and dangerous while Daz rolls his eyes and thinks about making new friends.

Glebe

Gary cock-shames Daz during a drunken, naked frenzy.

Glebe

Gary does his own antigen test by shoving an ice pop stick up his nostril and waiting 15 mins to see if it turns dark.