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March 28, 2024, 11:47:09 PM

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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Paul Calf

Quote from: Glebe on February 06, 2022, 02:16:54 PMGary does his own antigen test by shoving an ice pop stick up his nostril and waiting 15 mins to see if it turns dark.
It does.

Glebe


Fambo Number Mive

Gary puts his willy in a cup of Coke "to see what will happen"

Glebe

Gary rubs his erection against the window of his local Subway. Even Daz is appalled by this and immediately fetches a police officer who arrests him because he is 'Daz, sidekick of Gary'.

Glebe

Gary applies to these local Burger King for a job. Under PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE he writes 'Massive glans'.

Paul Calf

The store manager, Epic Nige, accepts this as relevant experience and gives him the job.

Paul Calf

Gary adds 'Subject of long-running open-source collaborative fiction project run by some nerds on a comedy website' to the summary section of his CV.

Glebe

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 07, 2022, 10:16:08 AMGary adds 'Subject of long-running open-source collaborative fiction project run by some nerds on a comedy website' to the summary section of his CV.

"You've broken the Fourth Wall Gary!"

"Come here Daz y'nerd with your weird comments!"

Paul Calf

Gary makes Daz spraypaint "I AM A FUCKING POSTMODERNIST NONCE SIGNED PUBES DAZ" all over the bus stop, and as the first line in his Facebook profile.

Glebe

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 07, 2022, 10:44:42 AMGary makes Daz spraypaint "I AM A FUCKING POSTMODERNIST NONCE SIGNED PUBES DAZ" all over the bus stop, and as the first line in his Facebook profile.

He later apologies. "The POSTMODERNIST bit isn't true, I'm sorry."

Paul Calf

Daz doesn't know what the word means, and strongly suspects thatv Gary doesn't either.

Fambo Number Mive

Gary and Daz answer the web's most searched questions.

Glebe

Gary glues Daz to a trike and forces him to go around the common "like a silly knob-end."

Glebe

Gary immediately divorces his wife when she puts on half a pound. "I told Jasmine to go easy on the wedding cake Daz! She ain't gettin' no child support neither by the way!"

jobotic

An angry TERF confronts Gary outside the leisure centre (where he's planning on leaning on the weights all afternoon talking about how much he can lift and wiping pretend sweat off), with the Staniland Question.

"Fucking too right! What, now?"

Glebe

"Hang on if I go trans I can go into women's toilets?"

Glebe

Gary gives a lecture at the pool hall in which he deconstructs Shakespeare's greatest works with surprising grace and elan.

Paul Calf

In the car on the way home, Daz is dying to ask Gary about it.

"DON'T," bellows Gary the second The Pubic One opens his mouth.

Glebe

Gary is fueling Daz with "unleaded" Stella.

"0% alcohol, Daz. That's it, your tank is full, gonna drive you to Cleethorpes "

Glebe

"Just off to Primark to get a Greggs, Daz."

Blue Jam

Legend Gary gets a bit bored at work:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-60330758

Quote"His motives are still unknown but the administration believes it was some kind of a lapse in sanity,"

"Fuck off!" an incredulous Gary shouts at BBC News before turning to Daz and saying "It was a shit painting anyway".

Blue Jam

Legend Gary applied for a job at the Yeltsin Centre "because Yeltsin was a total ledge... hang on, this is just a load of pictures, where's all the vodka?"

Glebe

Quote from: Blue Jam on February 10, 2022, 04:48:15 PMLegend Gary gets a bit bored at work:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-60330758

"Fuck off!" an incredulous Gary shouts at BBC News before turning to Daz and saying "It was a shit painting anyway".

LEGEND GAROVSKI: Comrade Darovski! Come and see what I done to this decadent piece of artwork!

Blue Jam

Legend Garovski draws a cock'n'balls on a Fabergé egg.

Paul Calf

Legend Garovitch Garovskiya buys one of them big furry hat things and takes a selfie in front of the Kremlin.

king_tubby

Legend Garovitch informs on Daz.

Paul Calf

Dazovski is one step ahead and has already informed thr Politburo that Tovarisch Garovitch has been listening to Western radio broadcasts.

Pink Gregory

Legend Garovitsch is awarded a medal for services to "getting on it"

king_tubby

Legend Garovitsch flops out Lenin's preserved cock and balls.

jobotic

Legend Garovitsch is dragged into the Lubyanka shouting

"LubWANKER more like. Spartak 'til I die!"