LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[Glebe]

Storm Eunice rips Gary's house out of the ground and it lands on a witch in Essex.

[The Bumlord]

Gary breaks down his most iconic roles for GQ

[Glebe]

Gary dresses up as Sonic the Hedgehog and steals a pint of milk from the local Spar.

[Glebe]

Gary remembers the first time he encountered Larval Trauma Flashbacks.

"Hiya Larval Trauma Flashbacks mate."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary claims he has all his best ideas while on the toilet

[Glebe]

Gary claims he has all his best ideas while on the toilet

[shoulders]

Legend Gary kicks a bit of puddle back into a river... 'done my bit'.

[Glebe]

Gary secretly harbours nostalgia for the old Budweiser 'Wazzup?!' ad.

"I've always been a Stella man but the undrinkable, fizzy, watery yank beer went up in my estimation during that ad campaign," he thinks to himself during a mid-morning wank in the airing cupboard.

[Paul Calf]

"I did NOT piss myself, Darren".

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Holy shit Daz look it's David Attenborough

Hahaha fucking LEGEND

You know, from the planet blue show and that

Mate go up to him seriously let's do it

OI DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE HAHAHAHAHAHA

[The Bumlord]

Gary has lost the key to Daz's cock cage.

[jenna appleseed]

Holy shit Daz look it's David Attenborough

Hahaha fucking LEGEND

You know, from the planet blue show and that

Mate go up to him seriously let's do it

OI DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE HAHAHAHAHAHA

David Attenborough feeds them to his pet Venus Flytrap.

[shoulders]

Legend Gary says Russian women are 'mental' and Ukrainian women are 'tasty'. What more do you need or want to know

[shoulders]

Ukraine Ian arrives home hidden in a parcel bag filled with contraband cigs.

[king_tubby]

Legend Gary ignores Zelensky's call for volunteers to fight the Russian invasion.

'No- that will require language skills and integration into a military culture that is different to the UK, Daz'

[Paul Calf]

Daz wonders what the fuck Gary knows about any country's military culture when the extent of Gary's military experience to date is getting laughed out of the Seacroft TA recruitment centre.

[petril]

thought Kunt was joining the thread for a hot millisecond there, gang right behind

[Glebe]

Gary holds a special ceremony to officially induct Larval Trauma Flashbacks into the CaB Multiverse. "This time next year you could be overtaking me as forum's most popular character, lad!"

[jenna appleseed]

I still think he's really just a squashed caterpillar in a jar though :-(

[jenna appleseed]

or maybe a slug?

---

Meanwhile back in main character of this thread land

Legend Gary gets conscripted to go fight in Ukraine as a prank by all his mates after some drunken coked up bragging about how he could beat up Putin, and his Dad single handed.

Gary's far too ashamed to admit that til yesterday his only knowledge of Kiev was a round chicken lump thing with melty sauce in it and the closest he's ever been to any real war action is playing Battleships and Fortnite.

[Glebe]

Gary agrees to join his local amateur dramatics society after being coaxed with his favourite beverage.

[dex]

Wasn't sure whether to post this one in desolation or here but there was a real life Ledge I encountered today at work. He answers his mobile, [bantz to other person] then quips "yeah, fuckin got tomorrow off to take the mrs to the hospital to see if she still has cancer." [Caller responds (no doubt in disbelief/symapthetically)] then this Ledge responds: "I don't care, Its not me that's fuckin got it!"

With [boy]friends like this, who needs enemies, right?

[Blue Jam]

Pubes Daz is late for work:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Gfletch_/status/1500411449432326146

[Paul Calf]

I love one of the comments:

Rosie Greene 😷 🇺🇦🙏@cnbcwatcher90
Replying to @Gfletch_
I personally wouldn't find this funny. It's impossible to drive the car without removing all the newspaper. How would one remove it?

O....k......

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary and Daz visit Chester looking for Hollyoaks Village. "It appears Hollyoaks Village does not actually exist" they tell their local newspaper website.

"Disappointed duo travel to Chester looking for Hollyoaks Village" is the headline the next day.

"The pair at least got to enjoy having a can of Fanta while sitting in Daz's car in Sealand Road Park and Ride.

"Gary told us that he hadn't felt so let down since he ran out of orange KitKats".

[shoulders]

Legend Gary finishes off Venty with a breeze block.

[Glebe]

Pubes Daz is late for work:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Gfletch_/status/1500411449432326146

[shoulders]

Legend Gary didn't win a drinking contest against Vladimir Putin, not yet anyway! That would be far fetched in the extreme. He won a drinking contest against defence minister Sergei Shoigu in 2014 on a reconnaissance mission to Doncaster.

Legend Gary has tried to 'bag' other key members of Putin's siloviki, but they are 'soft cunts' and in one case a 'straight up tart' who won't even answer calls.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary's latest Tik Tok dance video causes a diplomatic row with France.

[Paul Calf]

Gary tells Daz stories about his service on the Crimean peninsula, fighting against Putin's invading forces and the terrors of the Cossack riflemen.

"When was this, Gary?"

"Oh, before I knew you."

"But I've known you since Year 5"

"Nah, it was...that month when we weren't talking to each other"

Daz knows better than to push it.