Computer Dating

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

Um....
okay, well it worked out for me, but to be honest, if I'd known it would take so much hassle to get visa's (over 18 months and I'm still waiting for a work permit) I'd have tried to find someone closer to home. So my advice is, go for it, but try to avoid trans-atlantic ones.

"Awww, honey you're sooo romantic", sighed Mrs Unicorn.

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

Internet dating here I presume is something involving internet dating sites yes?
What do I think? Dirty and sleazy and if you can stomach it a means to an end.
Whether I'm just being biased or uninformed? I don't care.

As for internet relationships, along with all the flirting cybering and web-simpering, its cringe-inducingly embarassing and sad. (At least for the most part).  Something strange is fostered by the anonymity of the internet which helps people relate and generate some odd illusions.

I also have a friend with an internet girlfriend who he's met. It's all very very sad, and without going into it in depth it's obviously heavily to do with the illusions of anonymity, Whereas in life he's introverted quiet and suffers from depression.

A friend of mine bemoaned the lack of a dating cuture in this country. And he's right, you can't really go up to someone and ask for a date in the same way. I don't think either of you would know what to do.

Most people I know meet through friends and get drunk together a few times, then fall into bed drunly. The next day they emerge from the cocoon of the bedroom, blinking into the harsh light, reborn a couple.

Unfortunately this must be seen in a different light when you consider that an american idea of flirting or a chat up line is

"hurrr hurrrr I like yer hair Huuurrrrr"

If I ever saw anyone use such a shite icebreaker I'd have to scupper his chances with anyone by some sort of embarassing intervention.

The other unusable would be the *YAWN* -stretch my arms Oooh I've put them over your shoulder!!

[El Unicornio, mang]

Internet dating here I presume is something involving internet dating sites yes?
What do I think? Dirty and sleazy and if you can stomach it a means to an end.
Whether I'm just being biased or uninformed? I don't care.

As for internet relationships, along with all the flirting cybering and web-simpering, its cringe-inducingly embarassing and sad. (At least for the most part).  Something strange is fostered by the anonymity of the internet which helps people relate and generate some odd illusions.

Thing is, people go on about how dodgy it is to meet people off the internet, and then go out on a Friday night, get wasted, and go back to someone's house who they've never met for a shag.
At least on the internet you can get to know the person before you decide to start dating them. In that way it's more like traditional dating, when people would write letters to each other before hopping in the sack.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Um....
okay, well it worked out for me, but to be honest, if I'd known it would take so much hassle to get visa's (over 18 months and I'm still waiting for a work permit) I'd have tried to find someone closer to home. So my advice is, go for it, but try to avoid trans-atlantic ones.

"Awww, honey you're sooo romantic", sighed Mrs Unicorn.

I'm soooo romantic...

Mrs Unicorn: "This visa thing is a real pain in the ass"
Me: "Yeah....why don't we get married or something?"
Mrs Unicorn: "Yeah, alright"

We don't even have rings. Balls to soppy tradition!

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

Actually on an unconnected note, I've been feeling inclined to find those weird japanese dating sim games.
They're educational I tell you!!!!

[wu be eel]

Anybody got any experiences,stories or opinions?  
Has anybody found true love this way?  
Did you end up on a date with a psycho?
Did the 'petite blonde' turn out to have extraordinarily large hands, and a strange obsession with 'The Crying Game'?

Whats with all the questions? Are you kilroy silk trying to ease steam?

But yeah, I met someone online and it worked out. Completely by accident.  We quickly switched from 'chat' to phonecalls and meets as were not into all that  playing games and online bollocks. 23 Daves with the nail on the head there. I try to stay away from online conversations, its mostly just empty and false.

Anyway, I move in later this year. I am assured that its real... and even if it isnt, that I am young enough to get away with it. Heh. The only thing i have to lose is image and I cant say that prioritises itself well. Wahay to life :)

[chand's girlfriend]

Most people I know meet through friends and get drunk together a few times, then fall into bed drunly. The next day they emerge from the cocoon of the bedroom, blinking into the harsh light, reborn a couple.

well yeah.... i had my share of those


but in the end i met my current boyfriend on an internet forum. NOT A DATING SITE IM NOT THAT DESPARATE.

see, we got to know each other spontaneously and without any intention of dating. we started emailing about random things, just having endless email conversations, and we got on well.
it took ages til we actually started talking about meeting up.
it happened eventually,cos after a long time of talking to each other  (a year or more)  you stop thinking about this person as someone dodgy, you no longer ask yourself "would i go this far" , you feel more like "wait a second, i know this person, what IS far?"

And after 2 and a half years nothing is far anymore. And we're getting married as soon as we have money hehe


and as Unicon says, in most cases it indeed is less dangerous and much less dodgy to meet someone you met online than it is to just sleep with someone you had a drink with in a club the same night. Unless youre an idiot and you go to a dating site, pay, and meet the next day without talking. But thats a whole different thing.



in general i  think in this topic there should be a distinction between GOING TO A DATING SITE and accidentally meeting someone online.

Cos going to a dating site vs. hooking up with someone without intention in a random forum/chat is same as using an escort agency vs. meeting someone in a pub.

[Ambient Sheep]

I have a friend who met his girlfriend over the internet, and now they're living together.

Yeah, it does happen.  <g>

I met Tortoiselady due to a cock-up over MSN.  A mutual friend of ours had sent one of those tedious funnies to her over Hotmail, and T wanted to add the mutual friend to her address book.  So she clicked the link "Add this person to my MSN contact list" - fair enough - but it not only added the mutual friend, but also *everyone* to whom the E-Mail was addressed, which included me.

So I got up one lonely Sunday lunchtime, logged on and fired up Messenger, and was greeted by "Tortoiselady has added you to her contact list" or words to that effect.  A few hours later, around 6pm, I decided to say hello and find out who this person was, with the opening salvo "To whom or to what do I owe the pleasure?" OK, you can stop barfing now.

Apparently she'd spent her day apologising to the other 20 or so people, most of which had been unbelievably rude, along the lines of "Who the hell are you and what do you want?".  She was so thrilled at having someone actually wanting to *talk* to her that we started chatting, and were still at it when I said "I have to stop now, because I need to go to work..." at 08:50 the following morning.

That was just over three years ago.  It's odd, because just before I started up the conversation, I had that "diverging universes" feeling, thinking "Is this going to be a life-changing moment?  Nah, probably not, it never is..."

More formalised arrangements can work too though.  A few years ago I placed a free ad on one of those telephone dating systems that they run in the local paper, and spent eighteen rollercoaster months in the company of a good-looking young lady who was *extremely* talented in certain skills, alas not others though.  It didn't work out in the end as we were both carrying too much baggage from previous relationships - her far more than me, but then I would say that, wouldn't I?

Meanwhile a very out-of-practice friend of mine has been signed up with Match.com for a while.  He's already had one girlfriend (short-lived-ish but got him back into practice), and is currently in the splendid dilemma of having had two dates last weekend with two equally nice girls who are both pestering him for a second date...I don't think he's ever been in *that* position before!

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

Cos going to a dating site vs. hooking up with someone without intention in a random forum/chat is same as using an escort agency vs. meeting someone in a pub.

Yes, except here on VW we call it GROOMING.

I Apparently she'd spent her day apologising to the other 20 or so people, most of which had been unbelievably rude, along the lines of "Who the hell are you and what do you want?"

That's a chatup line in my book.

[chand]

Cos going to a dating site vs. hooking up with someone without intention in a random forum/chat is same as using an escort agency vs. meeting someone in a pub.

Yes, except here on VW we call it GROOMING.

It's only grooming if you're a 45-year-old man on the Smash Hits forum pretending to be someone else to a 12 year old girl.

[chand's girlfriend]

Yes, except here on VW we call it GROOMING.

no, grooming  is something else.


but yeah this was my point. most people refuse to see the difference. i call it narrowmindness.