Tom Cruise won the Battle of Britian

[Kingboy_D]

According to a latest in a long line of revisionist US propaganda.

The American pilot to be played by shortarse Scientologist Cruise did actually fight in the Battle of Britain, but didn't shoot down a single plane. The film however looks poised to show him singlehandedly turning the tide of the war and saving our windly Isle from the scourge of Nazism.

THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN WAS WON BY A SINGLE AMERICAN AIRMAN (...OR SO HOLLYWOOD IS ABOUT TO TELL US)

Winston Churchill said it was our "finest hour", but yesterday it was revealed the Battle of Britain was won single-handedly by Tom Cruise. Amid outrage from the West's war veterans and military historians, a new Hollywood film will claim that one American, Billy Fiske - played by Cruise - was responsible for the 1940 victory. But he didn't shoot down a single plane.

Fiske was one of a handful of Americans who volunteered to fight in the battle, as the US was yet to enter the war. He was killed by German Stuka bombers in August 1940.

His story is to be retold in the film The Few directed by Michael Mann, who made the fighter pilot hero movie Top Gun, also starring Cruise, and filming is due to start soon.

"I've heard it is almost like he won the war all on his own," said war veteran Ben Clinch, who loaded the guns fired by the real Billy Fiske. "I can't see how they can make a film of Fiske's life. He was unremarkable, in the context of the squadron. He was just another pilot as far as we were concerned."

Fiske's short life is perfect movie material - the handsome son of a wealthy Chicago businessman, he won a bobsleigh gold medal at the Winter Olympics when he was just 16, married the former Countess of Warwick and raced at Le Mans.

However, winning the Battle of Britain was not one of his many accomplishments. "He made several sorties but he didn't shoot anything down, and his impact on the battle was negligible," said Bill Bond, of the Battle of Britain historical society.

Jack Younie, 84, of Radstock in Somerset, joined the RAF just before the battle began. He said: "It will make it look as though the Americans were everywhere, but they were hardly there at all.

"There were pilots from India, Canada, Australia, South Africa and a few from America.

"But the vast majority were British. And our pilots did a great job. If they had lost the Battle of Britain, that would have been the end of everything. Hitler would simply have walked all over us.

"They're just trying to make a box-office hit, and they tend to hype it up with things that frankly stretch the imagination."

Hollywood has a habit of ignoring facts to glorify the deeds of Americans. In the 2000 film U-571, US seamen recovered an Enigma code machine from a sinking German submarine and changed the course of World War II. Enigma was in fact retrieved by the British crew of HMS Bulldog.

The basis for the new film is that the British were on their knees and desperate for help in their fight for aerial superiority with the Luftwaffe. There were, apparently, aeroplanes sitting in hangars and a shortage of pilots. A few brave Americans answered the call - risking jail in the then neutral US - and saved the day.

Recalling another piece of Tinseltown propaganda, military historian and former RAF pilot Colin Pomeray, of Dorset, said: "It is like John Wayne being the big D-Day hero in The Longest Day.

"The whole idea sounds rather nauseating. It's impossible that any one man could have won the Battle of Britain.

"There simply weren't lots of Spitfires sitting in hangars, and I've never heard of the American volunteers facing the prospect of prison.

"Fiske was a brave man, all the Americans were brave - but there were only a very small number of them. The problem is that after this, a lot of people watching the film in America will actually believe that is the way it happened."

P.S According to the Battle of Britain Fighter Association, only nine Americans fought in the Battle of Britain, as opposed to 2365 Brits, 141 Poles, 91 Canadians, 89 Czechs and 1 Palestinian.

[Mr Flunchy]

Britain should make a film in which a plucky Jude Law arrives in America to win the Civil War and free the slaves.

[New World Order]

Ha !

The end of the article took my point of view out of my mouth.

The problem is that after this, a lot of people watching the film in America will actually believe that is the way it happened

Anything with Tom Cruise in it annoys me.  Why he wastes time on films when he could be learning more about Xenu, is beyond me, after all hes paid hundreds of thousands for the scientology teachings of the highest level.

Knowing the amount of bullshit that scientologists come out with, It wouldn't surprise me if Tom Cruise thought the film was real too.

[NaN]

woah woah woah woah.... hold the phone

Michael Mann didn't direct top gun.........

[Cheese Arse H Christ]

Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy, including our own planet Earth. In those days, Earth was called Teegeeack.

Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were over-populated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of the excess population, so he formulated a plan. With the help of renegades, Xenu took complete control and defeated the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then, with the help of psychiatrists, he called in billions of peoplefor "income tax inspections," but they were instead given injections of a paralyzing mixture of alcohol and glycol. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s, except they had rocket motors instead of propellers.

These DC8 space planes flew to planet Earth where the paralyzed people, numbering in the hundreds of billions, were stacked around the bases of volcanoes. When everyone had been piled on Teegeeack, H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs and everyone was killed.

The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story), Xenu had to trick the souls into not coming back. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds, he had special traps that caught the souls in electronic beams — the electronic beams were sticky, like fly-paper.

After he had captured all these souls, he had them packed into boxes and taken to huge cinemas. There the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them lies about what life should be like, and these films confused them and tricked them into believing things that were not true. They were shown "false" pictures and were told "false" things, including stories about Christianity, Judaism, Islam and other religions. In this story, this process is called "implanting."

When the films ended and the souls left the cinema, they began to stick together in groups. They had all seen the same film and thought they were the same "person." They clustered in numbers of a few thousand. There were only a few living bodies left, so they stayed in clusters and inhabited these bodies — our ancestors.

[New World Order]

That's sort of piracy of the higest level isnt it?

Most people are forced to sell their houses to get that information.

Expensive words, but oh so enlightening... ahem.

http://www.xenutv.com/  <-- video files about the wonders of scientology brainwashing.

[bill hicks]

Indeed, Tony Scott directed Top Gun, and it was produced by Simpson and Bruckheimer. Did Mann have anything to do with it at all? In fact wasn't he still doing Miami Vice at the time?

Anyway....fucking Americans....cultural imperialism....fucking scientologists....etc.

[El Unicornio, mang]

To be honest, Michael Mann is such a genius (one of the top 5 directors of all time in my opinion) that he could make a film with Will Smith single-handedly winning the battle of Hastings and it would still be great.
I really don't get what the fuss about this is, really. That said, I wouldn't mind seeing a Vietnam film with an all British cast rewriting history by winning the war. (They came close with Black Hawk Down, which was mostly British actors playing American soldiers)

Incidentally, there's a site about Fisk here:
http://www.fiske.clara.net/billy_fiske.htm

Looks like Tom Cruise doesn't he?

[butnut]

Anything with Tom Cruise in it annoys me.  Why he wastes time on films when he could be learning more about Xenu, is beyond me, after all hes paid hundreds of thousands for the scientology teachings of the highest level.

Knowing the amount of bullshit that scientologists come out with, It wouldn't surprise me if Tom Cruise thought the film was real too.

I would agree with you about 99% of this - but have you seen Magnolia? Cruise, for perhaps the one and only time in his tiny life, is brilliant in it! Maybe it's becuase he plays a sex-crazed, egotisical, women-hating bully-boy spouting shit to the masses.

Now where did he get the inspiration for that role?

It's also interesting to consider that PT Anderson wrote the film, knowing that Cruise would play the part. :)

[Pinball]

American revisionism would be a great topic for a British movie spoof - it's certainly over-ripe given Braveheart and oh so many others. Monkey Dust did a great few sketches along than line e.g. the Crusades with Richard the Lionheart played by an American and all the evil Muslims sounding like Terry Thomas, hehe.

Bottomline - it's the victors/dominant cultures who write history. Just goes to show that one can't take anything for granted from received historical wisdom...

[Bilko]

P.S According to the Battle of Britain Fighter Association, only nine Americans fought in the Battle of Britain, as opposed to 2365 Brits, 141 Poles, 91 Canadians, 89 Czechs and 1 Palestinian.

1 Palestinian eh, America won't like that, they'll have to re-write that and make him an Israeli or an Palestinian Nazi Spy.

Whether Americans believe the film or not will depend on how good the film is.

[Lou]

1 Palestinian eh, America won't like that, they'll have to re-write that and make him an Israeli or an Palestinian Nazi Spy.

no Israelis in the Battle of Britain, no Israelis till 1948 of course.

the list doesn't state the religion of the guy, but 'tis well known that many Jewish Palestinians (as they were known then, of course being future Israelis) fought and died in various fronts in WWII.

edit:

not trying to be inflammatory here, but the strong likelyhood is that the Palestinian mentioned was Jewish

the arabs and jews in the middle east often fought on different sides in WWII

1941 – Grand Mufti Visits Adolf Hitler in Germany

The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, Haj Amin al-Husseini, visits Berlin, meets with Hitler and makes Arabic radio broadcasts to Islamic troops fighting for the Nazi Third Reich.

edit:

more stuff on What happened in Palestine during World War II?



information of course is viewed from one side and should be checked and cross-checked by all interested parties.

[Pinball]

Ah, so many vested interests and complex politically expedient allegiances. Nothing changes!

[Bilko]

no Israelis in the Battle of Britain, no Israelis till 1948 of course.

Facts like that won't concern the American Filmakers.

[smoker]

tom cruise is jewish isn't he?

oh no sorry gay i mean

[Lou]

no Israelis in the Battle of Britain, no Israelis till 1948 of course.

Facts like that won't concern the American Filmakers.

Peter, have you read past those 12 words in my post?


and Pinny, you're part-right. but the Jews (and Arabs) in Palestine picked their sides for ideological reasons too.

"We shall fight the war against Hitler as if there were no White Paper, and we shall fight the White Paper as if there were no war."

and

Once in Berlin, the Mufti received an enthusiastic reception by the "Islamische Zentralinstitut" and the whole Islamic community of Germany, which welcomed him as the "Führer of the Arabic world." In an introductory speech, he called the Jews the "most fierce enemies of the Muslims" and an "ever corruptive element" in the world.

[Pinball]

Well the Mufti seems like a sensible, liberal chap - not. Did he know about the Holocaust, and if so, did he GAF? Discraceful behaviour.

And how much of UK government behaviour - such as the White Paper - was motivated by the desire to maintain friendly links with oil-rich Arab States??

Politicians really are sleazy, unprincipled gits, and the linkage of religion and government is a seriously bad idea. Give me secularism any day..

Basically, any dominant/imperialistic country behaves in abhorrent ways. We're only criticising the US gov now because they are dominant. When the British ruled the waves, was it any better? No. And when the Chinese predominate will they be better? Unlikely. The choice seems to be varying magnitudes of badness, with Hitler at the worst end but far from unique.

"Good" vs. "bad" is waaay too simplistic. IMO there is no good.

[king mob]

When Pearl Harbour opened a few years back Kate Beckinsdale was interviewed on U.S tv she was asked if had heard of Pearl Harbour and how it started WW2.

Kate very nicely told the interveiwer he was talking shite and Britain had ben fighting the war for over 2 years by the time Pearl Harbour happened to be confronted by a look of blank stupidity.

This is the state of education these days, shite like this will not help one little bit.

[Ghost of Troubled Joe]

Eh, the fault lies with the British film industry for not making the sorts of films people want to see, so Hollywood always gets there first. Why didn't we make the real story of U571, or the British perspective of the Battle of Britain? But no- Brit films are either staid costume dramas, boring kitchen-sinkers or mockney gangster films. Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later are the only exceptions I can think of in recent years- potential Brit blockbusters that people actually want to see.

[fanny splendid]

or the British perspective of the Battle of Britain?

Er,  but there was a British movie made.

[Pinball]

Eh, the fault lies with the British film industry for not making the sorts of films people want to see, so Hollywood always gets there first. Why didn't we make the real story of U571, or the British perspective of the Battle of Britain? But no- Brit films are either staid costume dramas, boring kitchen-sinkers or mockney gangster films. Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later are the only exceptions I can think of in recent years- potential Brit blockbusters that people actually want to see.

Well said. It's time that the UK industry made fun big budget films instead of films about male ballerinas or ugly male strippers, or even uglier old women calendar girls. Sheesh.

Shaun of the Dead surely shows the way? And the UK can make these sort of films, and does e.g. at Pinewood Studios where in addition to 007 such films as Superman, Alien etc. etc. have been made. I agree we only have ourselves to blame.

[hoverdonkey]

Talking of American ignorance - I was trawling some chat rooms the other night searching for inspiration for an article and I came across a room which had two women in. Both were 'voice-chatting' and seemed intelligent types.

They were chatting about the Easter Holidays and me being at work, said "Holiday? what holiday? I've got to work."

"Where are you hoverdonkey?"

"London"

"Oh well, over here it's Easter."

I was almost speechless, but managed a "er...yeah it's Easter here too. Jesus rose from the dead for us heathen Europeans too.

"Oh OK. Cool."

Cool? Cool? Mother of God...

[El Unicornio, mang]

That's nothing, I was talking to a girl here one time and she  says to me, in all seriousness:
"So, do you guys have Christmas in England?"

A friend of mine got this when in Boston:
"So where are you from?"
"England"
"Oh, is that in London?"

There really are some ignorant fucks here. Fortunately there's also a lot of intelligent folks knocking about.
And to be fair, my sister did ask my wife:
"So, do you listen to Metro radio?" (Metro radio is a local radio station in Newcastle
and:
"Do they show 'Friends' in America?"
Um, yes. That's where it's made.

[hoverdonkey]

As mentioned before, I don't like lazy American-baiting - it's too easy - and I'm sure there's plenty of examples, but I thought I'd just add these.

When in the lift on the way up to the top of the Stratosphere Tower in Vegas, I was asked by the same girl:

"Do you have Pizza in England?"
"Do you have corn in England?"
"Have you heard of McDonalds?"

[El Unicornio, mang]

"Do you have Pizza in England?"

I've been asked that question too. Cos of course, pizza is an American invention isn't it....

THing is, you could tell people like that that you live in a castle on a mountain and you have the title of Duke, and everyone in Europe knows who you are, and she'd probably believe it.
It used to annoy me, but when you think about it, it's advantageous to be a lot more knowledgeable than the majority of people. I'd say that most people on this forum are in the top 90% IQ wise. I have no real data to back this up, it's just a hunch.... (as Quasimodo said to the prostitute)

[weekender]

I'd say that most people on this forum are in the top 90% IQ wise. I have no real data to back this up, it's just a hunch....

Your surely don't mean GB?

[Marcus Or Relius]

A friend of mine got this when in Boston:
"So where are you from?"
"England"
"Oh, is that in London?"

I had an identical exchange with a taxi-driver in New York, except with the word "England" replaced with "Manchester."

As has been pointed out though, there are plenty of British people with little knowledge of the world or, indeed, Britain.

A Brazilian colleague of mine once explained to a girl in our office that, when the last Pope died, they all had a national day of mourning over in Brazil.

"So when the current one dies," the girl tactfully began in a bright and chirpy voice, "will we get a holiday in Britain?"
"No," replied the Brazilian dude.
"Why not?"
"Because Britain isn't a Catholic country."
"Isn't it?"
"No, you're a Protestant country."
"Are we? Well I'm not, I'm a Christian."

[El Unicornio, mang]

I'd say that most people on this forum are in the top 90% IQ wise. I have no real data to back this up, it's just a hunch....

Your surely don't mean GB?

Having looked at several other forums, yes. Spend a few minutes reading the suprnova.org forums and you'll know what  I mean

WERE IS LOL NO FARCRY ROSMS!!!@!! I NEED IT THEM!~!!2 If u wAnt 2 snd thm 2 mee my emails are limpbriskits453 I NEEDS them!~``12 LOL!!!11

That's not an exaggeration, either.

Okay, so a lot of them are probably about 14, but that's no excuse. I could speel when I was that age

[Bilko]

If its bad spelling you want, this site featured on Sunmachine made me laugh out loud when I viewed it Dyslexic Typing

Surely the site is a piss take.

[hoverdonkey]

"Do you have Pizza in England?"

I've been asked that question too. Cos of course, pizza is an American invention isn't it....

Yeah, I mentioned to her that it is quicker for me to fly to Italy than it was for her to fly to Vegas from where she lived near Minnesota. Then I had a thought that maybe pizza is an invention of Italian Americans. I was sure is isn't but then...

I dunno - is that me being incredibly ignorant? I suppose pizza as we know it today is quite different to its original Italian recipe. Bollocks I'm rambling like a twat now. Not even sure what I'm talking about or how I got here.

I'll just hit submit anyway...