what's your poison?

[smoker]

last night i had a text from my dippy cousin telling me she's in hospital, having been poisoned by a dandelion head she put in her sandwich mistaking it for an onion.

yes she is that dumb.

i called my mum who said she'd had her stomach pumped as well

i never even knew dandelions were poisonous. they're everywhere aren't they? how many little kids put flowers and such in their mouths all the time, the body count must be huge!

what other potentially poisonous things are out there waiting to collapse our lungs and give us the bends? i know nutmeg's a killer, and those little red berries, and some toadstools, but we need to form some kind of cohesive database of posions before we lose a verbwhore to nature

[dirkfunk]

filling your eyeholes  with fire is will do you off

[Purple Tentacle]

Well mercury in thermometers has always scared me.

IT NEVER LEAVES YOUR SYSTEM EVER

Thank god I don't go near thermometers. Oh wait, I've got three lumps of mercury sitting in holes in my mouth. Ah well.

[Nearly Annually]

Wouldn't go munching on Laburnum.


Try Deadly Nightshade instead. Belladonna - what a pretty name. Rub it into a broom handle, girls, and fly away.

[dirkfunk]

that stuff inside of strip lights

isn't that supposed to make you explode or summat

[Neville Chamberlain]

Eating rhubarb leaves is apparently a very stupid thing to do.

At the weekend, my girlfriend's dad told me that eating too much marzipan can actually poison you.

Never eat rust either.

Never use a telephone during an electrical storm.

Never eat potatos if green shoots are sprouting from them. Same goes for garlic too.

[dirkfunk]

knives are poisonous don't swallow thine

[Nearly Annually]

Eating rhubarb leaves is apparently a very stupid thing to do.

Yes, for flavour. Not too bad poison-wise, I think. Minor gut rot, probably. The only deaths that have occurred were due to stupids making wine with the whole plant and then distilling it. Rhubarb leaf brandy = bad idea. Remember folks, home distillation is illegal.

[smoker]

Never eat potatos if green shoots are sprouting from them. Same goes for garlic too.

shit i do that quite a lot, just cut the protruding bits off

[MarmiteCarpenter]

At the weekend, my girlfriend's dad told me that eating too much marzipan can actually poison you.

Thats because almonds contain cyanide, its what gives them their flavour. Same with apple pips. I imagine that led to some hilarious japes in Nazi Germany. Gassing PoW's with marzipan and that.

[fanny splendid]

yeah, just cut out the green shoot as it's too bitter.

Handy fact that, kiddies. Lost in a forest, and can't find the gingerbread house?Bitterness generally means bad.

And anything that tastes of almonds.

[Nearly Annually]

Some explosives smell of almonds. Can't remember which, but not the ones that're good for you, I bet.

[sproggy]

Poitin (Irish spud whiskey)  Bad batches have been reputed to turn people blind.

[dirkfunk]

an almond bomb can kill at 1 paces

[Gazeuse]

Never eat potatos if green shoots are sprouting from them. Same goes for garlic too.

Garlic is OK surely, no matter how green it is?!?

[sproggy]

Some explosives smell of almonds. Can't remember which, but not the ones that're good for you, I bet.

Semtex.

The smell of almonds is the toxin Cyanide, a blood agent used in chemical warfare.  This would explain the toxic marzipan theory too.

[hencole]

Well mercury in thermometers has always scared me.

IT NEVER LEAVES YOUR SYSTEM EVER

Thank god I don't go near thermometers. Oh wait, I've got three lumps of mercury sitting in holes in my mouth. Ah well.

I once snapped a mercury themometer in my mouth whilst in a science class, having been told not to do it. The look on the teachers face was priceless. I presume I didn't ingest any, or not a serious amount any way. What is a lethal dose of mercury by the way?

[Lady Beany]

Never eat potatos if green shoots are sprouting from them.

Why?  I do this all the time.  Am I slowly killing myself??

I cleaned out the cupboards last week and pulled out a fucking potato bush, it was amazing.  I swear, if I listened hard enough I could hear it whispering 'Feed me Seymour!'

[EFB]

What is a lethal dose of mercury by the way?

Sleeping with the former lead singer of Queen.

[Uncle_Z]

Are you sure it was not a daffodil bulb?  I am pretty sure they are poisonous as bastards and have a couple of other offerings in support:  i) How could you mistake a dandelion head for an onion?  ii) Why doesn't dandelion and burdock kill more people?

Just hedging my bets in case of some grisly D&B related deaths

[danielreal2k]

i never even knew dandelions were poisonous.

are they?

isn't there a drink called  Dandelion and Burdoch?  
hmm

i broke a thermometer once, and mercury got on my hands
does that mean it seaps through the skin and poisons me?

[Neville Chamberlain]

Never eat potatos if green shoots are sprouting from them.

Why?  I do this all the time.  Am I slowly killing myself??

I cleaned out the cupboards last week and pulled out a fucking potato bush, it was amazing.  I swear, if I listened hard enough I could hear it whispering 'Feed me Seymour!'

For the love of God, please never eat potatos that are sprouting. They may look pretty, but they are highly toxic. If you have a big bag of potatos and you see that even just one potato is sprouting, you must throw all the other potatos away for they will be similarly plagued.

[Partridge's Love Child]

Penicillin brings me out in a rash.  That's not really the type of thing you're after though is it.

Dog shit makes you go blind.

[Purple Tentacle]

I've been cutting the sprouts off potatoes for years and I've no ill effects. I understand that the sprouts themselves are quite bad.


Re: Mercury... I believe it does seep through your skin, yes, and gets into your brain. As with most toxins, however, you're only in REAL trouble with a small amount if it gets into your lungs, usually through inhalation.

[Lady Beany]

For the love of God, please never eat potatos that are sprouting. They may look pretty, but they are highly toxic. If you have a big bag of potatos and you see that even just one potato is sprouting, you must throw all the other potatos away for they will be similarly plagued.

OK, I have been duly freaked out.  Cheers for that m'dear!  Toxic Tatties indeed.

Dog shit makes you go blind.

There is a masterbation joke in there SOMEWHERE... sorry.

[mook]

Dog shit makes you go blind.

Must do, seeing the amount of people who fail to see their dog cranking one out and just leaving it curled up on the pavement like somekind of evil iced gem.

It's tulips not dafs that are poisoness innit? It's where the phrase "know yer onions" comes from or summink.

[hencole]

Penicillin brings me out in a rash.  That's not really the type of thing you're after though is it.

Same here, as well as half a dozen other medicines. I  get a really nasty one that stops me from sleeping for days.

[smoker]

Are you sure it was not a daffodil bulb?  I am pretty sure they are poisonous as bastards and have a couple of other offerings in support:  i) How could you mistake a dandelion head for an onion?  ii) Why doesn't dandelion and burdock kill more people?

Just hedging my bets in case of some grisly D&B related deaths

maybe i've remembered wrong, i deleted the message straight away

[Gazeuse]

Never eat potatos if green shoots are sprouting from them.

Why?  I do this all the time.  Am I slowly killing myself??

I cleaned out the cupboards last week and pulled out a fucking potato bush, it was amazing.  I swear, if I listened hard enough I could hear it whispering 'Feed me Seymour!'

For the love of God, please never eat potatos that are sprouting. They may look pretty, but they are highly toxic. If you have a big bag of potatos and you see that even just one potato is sprouting, you must throw all the other potatos away for they will be similarly plagued.

Are you sure about that??? In any case, don't chuck them away, bury them in the garden (Or in a pot) and you'll get nice free pesticide free tatties in a few months!!!

[Uncle_Z]

http://www.chelonia.org/Articles/plantsthatpoison.htm

Daffs and tulips.  No Dandelions though.