CRISPS, tho'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That World Cup of Crisps that Richard Osman ran over Easter left me convinced that when it comes to savoury snacks, most people are utter morons with no taste.

Imagine liking ordinary Cheese and Onion as the best crisps, as in the best ever crisps there are, were, have been or ever will be.

This is why industrial quantities of people were murdered in gas chambers.[nb]that's how Walkers produce this particular flavour[/nb]

[Replies From View]

Hello I want somebody to answer my questions, please.

What is the lifespan of a crisp.

What makes crisps go in a packet.

Why do crisp packets have to have air inside.

What is the oldest crisp you would eat.

I would like them answered as a matter of urgency, thank you.

[Blumf]

I would like them answered as a matter of urgency, thank you.

You'll have to wait. The wheels of crisp bureaucracy turn at a glacial pace. Walkers have been waiting for their application to swap their Cheese & Onion with Salt & Vinegar pack colours for several decades now.

[HappyTree]

What is the lifespan of a crisp. Almost 91 years.

What makes crisps go in a packet. Fear.

Why do crisp packets have to have air inside. To make it look as if there's enough of a snack in there to feed a human being.

What is the oldest crisp you would eat. 8½

[Replies From View]

Thanks HappyTree.

[TrenterPercenter]

Imagine liking ordinary Cheese and Onion as the best crisps, as in the best ever crisps there are, were, have been or ever will be.

This is why industrial quantities of people were murdered in gas chambers.[nb]that's how Walkers produce this particular flavour[/nb]

best ingredient in the dish known as "the crisp sandwich" though.

wait a minute.

Oh internet you never let me down http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/23573/best-crisp-sandwich-------ever.aspx

[Genevieve]

That World Cup of Crisps that Richard Osman ran over Easter left me convinced that when it comes to savoury snacks, most people are utter morons with no taste.

The chocolate one was as bad, just a final bunch of low quality milk chocolates sans fillings.  Anyway, that's not for here.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

unwieldy cheeseless poverty quavers

Unwieldy in the hands of the unready.

A mere disc to twist and spindle in the mitts of a truly capable snacktanian.

Not only a giant crunch-ufo but a tool for mopping, dipping and sopping.

Some waiters try to remove your poppadums and dip trays before the mains arrive but fuck you, I'm consuming all of this in full - I will cut you if you move for them one further time.

Never ever take Jamie Oliver's advice about microwaving poppadums though. Absolutely claggy, pointless dogshite that leaves you spending the next hour picking clag from your teeth and wondering why you didn't fry them like a real man.

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Or poach or scramble them.

[colacentral]

My poverty stricken grandparents on my mum's side would always do their shopping at Kwik Save and get their No Frills crisps. Worst crisps I've ever eaten.

Not a crisp, but I'm fond of buying a pack of prawn crackers as a substitute every now and again. Spread english mustard on them - a heavenly combination.

[TrenterPercenter]

Ah yes that well loved Scottish dish of chillies and raspberries.

Presumably scotch bonnets?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Highlander FUCKEN AYE there's a crisp.

The narrow crinkle cut style is not often seen on these shores. Always we opt for the deeper, wider Gordon Ramsey forehead crinkle - WHY -- WHYYY

[Blumf]

Do they come in multi-packs?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Fucking mate you can get these cunts in 30+ packets

Highlander is a potato boss

[the science eel]

'chilli and raspberry' - I don't believe it. Someone's just fucking around. It makes absolutely no sense.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

They do loads

Cod and Pasty
Codswallop and Cairnwater
Moss and Lichen flavour
Games Console
Fence and Lavender

[the science eel]

Special Brew and kebab

and yer talkin'

[Replies From View]

Chilblains and Ariadne

Nestlé and Rowntree

[mothman]

Buckfast?

[Blumf]

Fucking mate you can get these cunts in 30+ packets

Highlander is a potato boss

So, there can be more than one?

[HappyTree]

One Crisp
A Kind of Crisp
One Year of Eating Crisps
Pain Is So Close to Salt & Vinegar
Crisps Will Be Crisps
Who Wants to Eat Crisps Forever?
Gimme the Crisp (Lineker's theme)
Don't Lose Your Crisps
Crisps of the Universe

[Bazooka]

They look like a good crunch.

A worthy mention to show respect, is the Cofresh brand of potato snacks (usually swirls or salted corns), Leicester(snack capital) based company that specialise in Indian flavour crisps/snacks. They do a chilli and lemon flavour pack, massive and for a £1.

[Bacon]

kettle got a new line of chef's special crisps that all taste like shit. avoid avoid avoid

he has been warned!

[Neil]

I've moved from Tayto's Spring Onion, to what I believe is another brand of crisp deemed too good for mainlanders:



Hunky Dorys Buffalo flavour, absolutely yes. Although I still like the odd pack of Scampi Fries when I'm feeling posh.

[mook]

buffalo? BUFFALO?! i've got more buffalo under my prodigious prepuce than there is that packet of fried up spud slithers. smatterwiyoupeople?!

[Hat FM]

These are my current go to crisp

but these are for when i have prepared myself properly for their onslaught

[Replies From View]

They look like a good crunch.

A worthy mention to show respect, is the Cofresh brand of potato snacks (usually swirls or salted corns), Leicester(snack capital) based company that specialise in Indian flavour crisps/snacks. They do a chilli and lemon flavour pack, massive and for a £1.

And do they do a Spearmint flavour?

[HappyTree]

Go to IKEA and buy a pack of Dill Chips. Your taste buds can thank me later.

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Go to IKEA and buy a pack of Dill Chips. Your taste buds can thank me later.

I call them my "taste pals".

[Van Dammage]

I've moved from Tayto's Spring Onion, to what I believe is another brand of crisp deemed too good for mainlanders:



Hunky Dorys Buffalo flavour, absolutely yes. Although I still like the odd pack of Scampi Fries when I'm feeling posh.

Yes. Hunky Dory Buffalo. Lovely stuff.

Meanies too

Unfortunately there's fuck all in Meanies packs anymore. 10 crisps if you're lucky.