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Have we had a jokes thread in a while?

Started by pancreas, March 08, 2019, 11:09:30 PM

Previous topic - Next topic


I downloaded an app to interpret pop lyrics: Dua Lipa

Pink Gregory

How am I going to get over this albanian pop star who's blocking my path by lying down in front of me?

I suppose I'll have to do-a-leap-a

sorry everyone


I'm getting really lazy since I started listening to modern pop... guess I'll have to start trying to Dua Lipa bit more!


I've never been a 'morning person'.

Which is why I just lost my job as a funeral director.

(NB: This joke doesn't work written down)

the midnight watch baboon

I love to stop for a pastie, but I've found I can only eat the big brand's product!

Seems I've been Ginstertutionalised?!

not sure that's right word usage

Dex Sawash

I ordered a flaming gazpacho and when the waiter brought it to the table everyone yelled out

Spoiler alert



Joe Qunt

Spoiler alert
What's the deal with Mondays?


Who is John Sullivan's favourite rubbish alternative rock band?

Spoiler alert
Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush

Dex Sawash

Feeling like letting those guys ejaculate on my face was

Spoiler alert
A mistakke

Catalogue of ills

The government has announced a breeding program to boost whale numbers. It's called

Spoiler alert
Hump back better

the midnight watch baboon

Every time I drink cola, I fall asleep.

I think I've got narcoPepsi?!1!

Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead

Quote from: . on July 20, 2020, 01:07:49 AMI hope a monorail features at some point.
Not bloody monorails again! Honestly, I swear, some people on this site have a one-track mind.


Guys, I think Tom Cruise's dentist may be a centrist. I overheard him saying "well, the tooth is in the middle..."


Did you hear about the elephant who got its trunk more and more stuck trying to reach a penis through some railings?

Trunk cost phallusy

Bennett Brauer

I failed GCSE English. I got an A in histary.


I don't trust stairs.

They're always up to something.

They're going to replace a character from The Sooty Show with a Tibetan dog.
- Shitzu?
No, little cousin Scampi


I once went to a unpleasant pub called the Fiddle. It really was a vile Inn...