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Have we had a jokes thread in a while?

Started by pancreas, March 08, 2019, 11:09:30 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

phantom_power

I downloaded an app to interpret pop lyrics: Dua Lipa

Pink Gregory

How am I going to get over this albanian pop star who's blocking my path by lying down in front of me?

I suppose I'll have to do-a-leap-a






sorry everyone

Glebe

I'm getting really lazy since I started listening to modern pop... guess I'll have to start trying to Dua Lipa bit more!

ElTwopo

I've never been a 'morning person'.

Which is why I just lost my job as a funeral director.

(NB: This joke doesn't work written down)

the midnight watch baboon

I love to stop for a pastie, but I've found I can only eat the big brand's product!

Seems I've been Ginstertutionalised?!





not sure that's right word usage

Dex Sawash

I ordered a flaming gazpacho and when the waiter brought it to the table everyone yelled out

Spoiler alert

(s)OPA!

[close]

Joe Qunt

Garfeld:
Spoiler alert
What's the deal with Mondays?
[close]

easytarget

Who is John Sullivan's favourite rubbish alternative rock band?

Spoiler alert
Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush
[close]

Dex Sawash


Feeling like letting those guys ejaculate on my face was

Spoiler alert
A mistakke
[close]

Catalogue of ills

The government has announced a breeding program to boost whale numbers. It's called

Spoiler alert
Hump back better
[close]

the midnight watch baboon

Every time I drink cola, I fall asleep.

I think I've got narcoPepsi?!1!

Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead

Quote from: . on July 20, 2020, 01:07:49 AMI hope a monorail features at some point.
Not bloody monorails again! Honestly, I swear, some people on this site have a one-track mind.

famethrowa

Guys, I think Tom Cruise's dentist may be a centrist. I overheard him saying "well, the tooth is in the middle..."

shoulders

Did you hear about the elephant who got its trunk more and more stuck trying to reach a penis through some railings?

Trunk cost phallusy

Bennett Brauer

I failed GCSE English. I got an A in histary.

Stigdu

I don't trust stairs.

They're always up to something.

They're going to replace a character from The Sooty Show with a Tibetan dog.
- Shitzu?
No, little cousin Scampi

shoulders

I once went to a unpleasant pub called the Fiddle. It really was a vile Inn...