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Ben Garrison “reacts” thread (bring your reading glasses)

Started by Ferris, January 08, 2021, 11:00:05 PM

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Wonderful Butternut

Quote from: Ant Farm Keyboard on March 13, 2022, 12:01:38 PMBut, yeah, trust the guy who nearly kebab-ed his own balls.

"But thanks to recent advances in stem cell research, and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, Clevon should regain full reproductive function."



If he sterilised himself, he'll get a Living Darwin Award, the absolute berk.

Fambo Number Mive

Garrison now complaining about the search engine DuckDuckGo demotes Russian propaganda (as usual I found this by visiting the SA cartoon thread)

The cartoon shows a duck holding a laptop being shot at by three people in green with the words "freedom of speech" below them. It's quite troubling and could be seen as an incitement of violence against the company. "Biased results" is below the duck's laptop and to the right is the "Censorship swamp". "Duck Duck Gone" is on the left.

And in the text is the following

Quote...Try typing in 'moon landing hoax' on Google and you'll see page after page ridiculing those who believe it was faked and offer what seems like tangible proof that the landings occurred. They don't allow you to make up your own mind by comparing both sides of the story. Instead, they greatly down-rank any information that those in charge consider to be 'misinformation.' Google emphasizes the 'official' narrative which aligns with what the oligarchs at the top want you to believe. They are the editors Hillary and her CFR comrades wanted...

Not sure what the CFR is.


I don't know much about them but Hilary was(?) a member, and the name is a bit vague and sinister sounding so it's perfect for Qanon.


Ben Garrison seems to hate the American government way more than even the Soviet Union, never mind Putin's Russia. Basically he thinks America should be a collection of feifdoms run by upstanding cowboys and truckers in red baseball caps.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

I'm picturing Ben Garrison as one of his own cartoons, bashing himself in the head with a hammer repeatedly. Of fucking course he thinks the moon landings were faked. Why not.

"I'm just asking questions!" screams Ben, as he lowers his nut sack into an acid bath.


Fair play Hillary for managing to orchestrate the moon landing hoax when she was an unknown 22 year old though.


I too spend every hour of every day logging what each search engine returns for each of my kooky culture war beliefs without going to any effort to understand how search engines work


What's Garrison's response to the latest shooting atrocity?


An 18 year-old mass murderer attacked an elementary school. Everyone feels terrible about the tragedy, but Biden immediately turned it into a call for gun control.

That was disgusting. It's almost as if our corrupt government and its security agencies are arranging weekly mass shootings in order to gain their goal: nullify the Second Amendment. I'm not saying the most recent shooting was a false flag, but let's just say the government and the FBI won't hesitate to arrange things.

Kamala Harris spouted the cliché, "Enough is enough!" We all agree that too many have died, but the solution is not taking away the guns.

The solution is more guns.

We need to arm school personnel. Provide teachers with a sidearm if necessary. Hire full time security guards. Biden will say we can't afford that, yet he can afford to shovel away $40 billion taxpayer dollars to Ukraine for more bombs, guns, and death.If a shooter knows he's entering a 'gun free zone,' he naturally becomes more emboldened. If he knows that the business or school has plenty of employees packing heat, he might be more reluctant.

We know the globalists and the Marxist Democrats want to completely disarm American citizens. They'll end up telling us that we don't need anything more powerful than a small caliber revolver before taking those away, too. That's "common sense" gun control, as Joe puts it. We shouldn't fall for such BS. We need what the Democrats erroneously call 'assault weapons.' They use that term to scare us out of owning them. We need high capacity magazines. We needpowerful rounds of ammunition. We need it all to protect ourselves when Big Government oversteps its bounds and decides they want to cart us off to secret camps or worse.

We might need them to fight off government thugs who are going door to door to carry out mandatory vaccinations. Who knows—we might need them when government tries to take away children from parents because those parents object to the disturbing sexual grooming practiced by the insane public education system.

We need our Second Amendment not only for hunting and self-protection, but mainly to fight back against a heavily armed globalist government bent on our destruction.

Big government claims they're concerned about our safety. They say we must lose our liberty in order to fight evil-doers.

It's time for Americans to realize that government itself is the ultimate evil-doer.

Even he can't be that insane to believe all that shit, but whatever the case he's an absolute Grade A bastard for spouting it.



Dig up, stupid!

Wonderful Butternut


Amazing. You can't even parody these bastards anymore.

Cold Meat Platter

Is satan being sarcastic there? Because if he is I reckon he might be trying to mislead Biden, probably best not to take satan that seriously.


incredibly horny satan. you know he's got a ten-foot cock against the floor there


He's so fucking evil. He has his ear pierced and everything.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

"We need to arm teachers and train them to pump lead into a child's body, I am not a lunatic and I definitely don't fantasise about murdering shadowy government agents trying to vaccine me"

Paul Calf

Quote from: JamesTC on May 26, 2022, 01:26:02 AMHe's so fucking evil. He has his ear pierced and everything.

Ooh, his mum'll be livid.





Fambo Number Mive

Reading the SA Politoons thread and Garrison has drawn a cartoon of Biden having fallen off a bike but the bike is the United States with wheels and a saddle.

Also Biden has Joe on his chest in case you didn't realise whom the cartoon was meant to be about. The USA has a bit missing from the top centre with cracks for some reason.

Utterly baffling cartoon.

Just reading the text posted below the cartoon and Garrison reckons it could have been a body double. Also love how he highlights Biden is 78 but doesn't mention how old Trump is. "After all, the 78 year old plans on running for a second term and would most likely face President Trump". That's the 76 year old (no longer president) Trump, Ben.


Why did he make the USA bike that way around? Surely Florida would make the perfect fork for the front wheel, with Maine as the handlebar.

Fambo Number Mive

The bike also appears to be too small for Biden, given the road narrows from where the bike is to where Biden is.

Bad Ambassador

Hey Ben, remember how Roosevelt was elected four times and fought Hitler while in a fucking wheelchair?


Quote from: Bad Ambassador on June 20, 2022, 11:37:16 AMHey Ben, remember how Roosevelt was elected four times and fought Hitler while in a fucking wheelchair?

Which he didn't fall off!!

Check annnnd mate, liberals!


FDR was a democrat though. And he allied with Stalin!

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: Blumf on June 20, 2022, 10:53:18 AM

Why did he make the USA bike that way around? Surely Florida would make the perfect fork for the front wheel, with Maine as the handlebar.

The shitmunchers wouldn't recognise it and in fact would probably regard reversing the great land mass of the USA as sacrilege worthy of death.

Fambo Number Mive

I don't think you'd need to reverse the USA, just reverse the location of the pedals, handlebars and wheels, and have Biden facing the other way. Unless the arrangement of Biden's arms and legs spells out some kind of secret message to his readers.