I hear you're a pest now, Noel Clarke?

[olliebean]

What an utterly unpleasant man he has turned out to be.

[Mr Banlon]

I thought that Barrowman quote (basically the one about people should be careful of his mental health) was questionable too.  Of course we should be considerate of everybody's mental health, but calling someone to account for bad behaviour doesn't equate to an attack.  I wonder if he had an in-depth view of the mental state of all the cast and crew he got his penis out in front of...can see that there would be a large number of reasons why that might upset someone.  Or is it only the mental health of the famous that JB thinks is important?

Looked at my old Popbitch emails, this from 2017: John Barrowman's big party trick? Cutting birthday cakes with his cock.

That's just plain unhygienic.

Cheesecake ?

[mr. logic]

Barrowman sounds like he is an absolute cunt.

[Butchers Blind]

I thought he was a cunt before everyone else got into thinking he's a cunt.

[Brundle-Fly]

And this from another Popbitch email:

Those who have had the pleasure of Barrowman's intimate company tell us that he is forever getting his pecker out and flashing it about. But it's not just the odd bit of willy-waving. He has it do party tricks too.

There was the time he used his erection to cut a birthday cake, for example (not into particularly neat slices, it must be said). Or the time he had it do a rather graphic impression of Spider-Man onto his breakfast bar for the amusement of friends.

The Spider-Man bit baffles me.  The only thing I can think of is really really unhygienic...surely not...

Gangster and actor, John Bindon would laugh in Barrowman's face and then perform his party trick of hanging five half-pint tankards on the girth of his massive erect penis. Now that's clarse!

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Gangster and actor, John Bindon would laugh in Barrowman's face and then perform his party trick of hanging five half-pint tankards on the girth of his massive erect penis. Now that's clarse!

When Princess Margaret told you to do something you did it.

[Ambient Sheep]

Has there ever been a celeb who professed a sexual desire for children but never acted on that desire, and still had a career? A non-active nonce?

I'm not calling him a nonce, but there's that horrifying passage from one of Giles Coren's Times articles regarding his 3yo daughter:



(from https://twitter.com/SloaneFragment/status/1417533475075280899)

Also, in the light of the above, this: https://twitter.com/DNicoros/status/1417536622757883907

Didn't Rod Liddle come out with something pretty iffy too?

Neither of these people fall into the exact question being asked, but they're sort of adjacent to it, if only by appearance.

[steve98]

Good answers on my Non-Active Celeb Nonce question, thanks. But what about this: You find yourself on a desert island, and bored, you resolve to have a wank to pass the time, but frustratingly you're unable to climax, due to not having any wanking materials.

Then, one day, an image of a female washes up in the surf, you rush over to it, all excited, and to your surprise find it's

Spoiler alert

Greta the climate-change child-woman

[close]

- what do you do? Be honest.

[rectorofstiffkey]

I'm not calling him a nonce, but there's that horrifying passage from one of Giles Coren's Times articles regarding his 3yo daughter:

Giles Coren is a strange man.  He had an article a few years ago about giving up masturbating, which had many unpleasant paragraphs including these ones:

I thought having kids might kill it off for me. I thought the risk of being busted mid-shuffle by someone who might actually be fucked up by the sight of it for life might be enough to shut me down.

Nah.

The thing is, you see, that when I turn on the hot tap in the shower it steams up the door in a trice so if I'm hard at it when a kid comes in shouting, "Daddy! Mummy says it's breakfast!" I have plenty of scope to spin round, get it all out of sight, get the cold on and be out in 10 seconds as if nothing had happened.

It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. To get my eldest to school on time I have to get us out of the house by 8:30am on weekdays. But even when breakfast is running late and I'm still in my pyjamas and unshowered at 8:20am and shouting to my wife to get the kid dressed while I belt upstairs to have a shower, I find myself thinking, as soon as I am alone on the top floor of the house: "I've got 10 minutes. Plenty of time for a wank".

And not just a wank. Because then I think, "I could probably even do three minutes on Brazzers if the iPad is charged".

And when his kids are old enough to google their dad's name, they're not going to find any of that creepy at all, are they?

PS Giles, if you sold that Jaguar you keep moaning about getting nicked, you might be able to afford a lock for your bathroom door.  I hear they're available for a modest price.

[SpiderChrist]

A snippet of Danny Baker's review of Ed 'Stewpot' Stewart's autobiography.

Naturally, every page is soaked in this vile trite bilge. (Notably though, for an ex-pirate radio DJ and BBC pop picker throughout the most tumultuous times in youth culture not a single mention of any meetings with pop stars at all) However, it is in his love life that we are given the most pause.

"I met my wife when she was 13, in 1970..." P.146 (He was 34 at this point)

"...my wife started on my stomach – and nothing else! – when she was 13..." P.147

"I arrived (at her parents) at 7 pm and was greeted at the door by what I can only describe as a 13-year-old apparition! She was simply stunning." (P147)

"...(the following year, so 14 now) I travelled to Italy to see her. I had just split from Eve Graham of The New Seekers and so, as the song goes, I was "Free Again"! P153

He marries the poor girl when she is 17. Elsewhere –

"We played a charity football match at a girls' school in Lingfield. After the match, we visited some of the boarders, who were mostly epileptic. The pupils had just reached puberty and the girls wouldn't let us out of the dormitory. We had to be rescued by the staff!"     (P 177)

Jesus.

Ed Stewpot Stewart's Junior Choice.

[Custard]

"Her plump little lips". Oof, no no no

[The Giggling Bean]

There's loads of people shouting out on social media that it was years ago and is massively unfair to dredge it up. Yes he was reprimanded on the set of Doctor Who but by all accounts he was back to whipping it out on his subsequent jobs. There's one video from a comic con panel in which he was very proud to detail how he broke into an actresses trailer on a film set. He then sent her photos of him, totally naked, in various spots around her trailer. It was all treated like larks and being a naughty schoolboy. It made for uncomfortable viewing and damns him by his own words.

It seems like he's just gone back to old habits on every subsequent job he's had because it's a new cast and crew to unveil his repertoire to. It doesn't sound like he learnt anything from the Dr Who incident.

For the record I liked Captain Jack and am ambivalent at best about Barrowman. I can still watch Eccleston/Tennant era Who despite these allegations. It's just annoying to hear Barrowman whine after a consistent pattern of waving his cock about over the years.

[Gurke and Hare]

Didn't Rod Liddle come out with something pretty iffy too?

Said he didn't become a teacher because he'd have probably tried to shag the kids, or something along those lines.

[Brundle-Fly]

Good answers on my Non-Active Celeb Nonce question, thanks. But what about this: You find yourself on a desert island, and bored, you resolve to have a wank to pass the time, but frustratingly you're unable to climax, due to not having any wanking materials.

Then, one day, an image of a female washes up in the surf, you rush over to it, all excited, and to your surprise find it's

Spoiler alert

Greta the climate-change child-woman

[close]

- what do you do? Be honest.

Steve, are you putting yourself forward as a possible answer to the Non-Active CaB Nonce question?

[Zetetic]

Said he didn't become a teacher because he'd have probably tried to shag the kids, or something along those lines.

"could not remotely conceive of not trying to shag the kids", to be clear.

Not just finding something about teenagers attractive or something about the fetishisation of youth and its imagery playing on his mind, or even deciding that on balance his desires and urges might pose an unacceptable risk, but being thoroughly unable to imagine himself not attempting to fuck "kids".

[Brundle-Fly]

There's loads of people shouting out on social media that it was years ago and is massively unfair to dredge it up. Yes he was reprimanded on the set of Doctor Who but by all accounts he was back to whipping it out on his subsequent jobs. There's one video from a comic con panel in which he was very proud to detail how he broke into an actresses trailer on a film set. He then sent her photos of him, totally naked, in various spots around her trailer. It was all treated like larks and being a naughty schoolboy. It made for uncomfortable viewing and damns him by his own words.

It seems like he's just gone back to old habits on every subsequent job he's had because it's a new cast and crew to unveil his repertoire to. It doesn't sound like he learnt anything from the Dr Who incident.

For the record I liked Captain Jack and am ambivalent at best about Barrowman. I can still watch Eccleston/Tennant era Who despite these allegations. It's just annoying to hear Barrowman whine after a consistent pattern of waving his cock about over the years.

I don't think Barrowman is some sort of sex pest at all, he just appears to be a completely immature, vain exhibitionist who has been allowed to let his antics get out of control because he's been indulged and pampered for far too long.  I've known people like him all my life. They don't have any hang-ups about their naked flesh or any shame. The 'moony' mob. I was never confident (or boorish?) enough to do 'a moony' or carry a conversation in a swimming pool/ gym changing room, completely starkers, drying my balls with a towel two feet in front of another person's face a'la Les Dennis in Extras. Some blokes don't see waving one's bits about as 'indiscreet', 'pervy' or 'problematic', it's just a hoot, it's a Carry On...and it's to make uptight people like me blush. 

This is what makes him laugh. His favourite Monty Python moment is probably Terry Jones sat naked at an upright piano. It almost certainly made some of his colleagues laugh too. Nobody complained at the time. As far as I know, nobody has retrospectively complained.  Does this make what he did right? No. It was inappropriate and extremely unprofessional, but I don't think he should be crucified. I find some of the online attacks on him as dubious as using one's penis to cut a cake. I'd be nervous about marzipan burn.

[Butchers Blind]

Good answers on my Non-Active Celeb Nonce question, thanks. But what about this: You find yourself on a desert island, and bored, you resolve to have a wank to pass the time, but frustratingly you're unable to climax, due to not having any wanking materials.

Then, one day, an image of a female washes up in the surf, you rush over to it, all excited, and to your surprise find it's

Spoiler alert

Greta the climate-change child-woman

[close]

- what do you do? Be honest.

This is fine as she is 18 now.  Please make sure the picture is of 18 year old Greta before wanking off though.

[The Giggling Bean]

I don't think Barrowman is some sort of sex pest at all, he just appears to be a completely immature, vain exhibitionist who has been allowed to let his antics get out of control because he's been indulged and pampered for far too long.  I've known people like him all my life. They don't have any hang-ups about their naked flesh or any shame. The 'moony' mob. I was never confident (or boorish?) enough to do 'a moony' or carry a conversation in a swimming pool/ gym changing room, completely starkers, drying my balls with a towel two feet in front of another person's face a'la Les Dennis in Extras. Some blokes don't see waving one's bits about as 'indiscreet', 'pervy' or 'problematic', it's just a hoot, it's a Carry On...and it's to make uptight people like me blush. 

This is what makes him laugh. His favourite Monty Python moment is probably Terry Jones sat naked at an upright piano. It almost certainly made some of his colleagues laugh too. Nobody complained at the time. As far as I know, nobody has retrospectively complained.  Does this make what he did right? No. It was inappropriate and extremely unprofessional, but I don't think he should be crucified. I find some of the online attacks on him as dubious as using one's penis to cut a cake. I'd be nervous about marzipan burn.

I completely agree with you. I wasn't suggesting he's a sex pest, more the sort of person who does it to get a shock/rise out of you. He probably meant no harm by it and just thought it was immature fun. Unfortunately what has come out from this is that it made some of the younger/newer crew members uncomfortable. This points out the imbalance of power in the TV industry. One of the crew spoke out saying you couldn't complain because you'd never work again. I'm sure I heard a story about Barrowman getting a runner sacked from Torchwood because they said they wanted to work on Doctor Who.

I'm sure as a natural showman with an extensive theatre background nudity is no concern for him. Unfortunately, despite being spoken to, he just continued this behaviour on other shoots after Dr Who. The consequences of his actions are catching up with him. It was a silly thing to do but is it enough for him to lose his work and be removed from Dr Who history? I don't think so but maybe it's best not to whip it out in public.

[wooders1978]

"Her plump little lips". Oof, no no no

That bit was very disturbing, as was to describe the holiday, not as romantic, which you could sort of understand, but *sexy* - mein got

[chveik]

in what world a serial exhibitionnist isn't a sex pest? people can go in jail for it

[Brundle-Fly]

in what world a serial exhibitionnist isn't a sex pest? people can go in jail for it

Yes, but it's context.  I've just come back from the park and a man was sunbathing in his swimming trunks. Nobody bats an eyelid, but if the same man lay down on the grass in his underpants on a day of grey skies, the police might be called. In France, it is illegal for a man to be shirtless in a public place that isn't the beach/ pool/ etc.

Barrowman thought he was among friends and colleagues and misguidedly believed he was always getting away with his brand of hi-jinx. It's highly unlikely he was going to prance around in the nip in Waitrose or whip out his old man on The Graham Norton Show.

There are many stories of showbiz types larking about like this. George Melly used to strip naked at parties to do his 'man, woman, dog' party trick. It would make me squirm but I wouldn't think he was getting his jollies from it. Allegedly, a certain former actress from Coronation Street (who shall remain nameless) used to occasionally walk on set with her tits out or lift her skirt up with no underwear to get a laugh, much to the fury of the senior members of the cast.

[Johnny Yesno]

I'd be nervous about marzipan burn.

It's ok, it wouldn't say anything about your sexuality.

Edit: Oh, bu r n not bu m.

[Jockice]

I do find that sort of person (and I've met a few) quite irritating though. Like streakers going 'I just want to give people a laugh.' No you don't. You just want to show your genitals off At least be honest about it. Or those who decide to tell me about their (apparent) sex lives because they assume I don't have/have never had one and think I'm going to be overawed or jealous. I'm not. I'm just not interested.

Having said all that, I very nearly went skinny-dipping in the hotel pool on the last night of a holiday to Greece in the late 90s after a drunken bet with another (female) guest. I didn't chicken out but in the end it just didn't happen. Neither of us ended up doing it. It would have been possibly the most-out-of character thing I'd have done in my life. So part of me wishes I had done it. But put it this way, I'd shared a room with a male friend for a week on that holiday (and have been on others with him) and he's never seen me naked. Not many people have.

I mean, it's within the normal range of averages but it's certainly nothing to write home about. Which is why my family were surprised when my postcards from Kos on that trip contained a description of my penis.

[Kankurette]

I do find that sort of person (and I've met a few) quite irritating though. Like streakers going 'I just want to give people a laugh.' No you don't. You just want to show your genitals off At least be honest about it. Or those who decide to tell me about their (apparent) sex lives because they assume I don't have/have never had one and think I'm going to be overawed or jealous. I'm not. I'm just not interested.

Having said all that, I very nearly went skinny-dipping in the hotel pool on the last night of a holiday to Greece in the late 90s after a drunken bet with another (female) guest. I didn't chicken out but in the end it just didn't happen. Neither of us ended up doing it. It would have been possibly the most-out-of character thing I'd have done in my life. So part of me wishes I had done it. But put it this way, I'd shared a room with a male friend for a week on that holiday (and have been on others with him) and he's never seen me naked. Not many people have.

I mean, it's within the normal range of averages but it's certainly nothing to write home about. Which is why my family were surprised when my postcards from Kos on that trip contained a description of my penis.

I find it annoying as well. I have a huge complex about sex in no small part because a couple of friends who used to brag about their sex lives. One of them came out as demisexual, which is pretty hilarious considering they've shagged more people than I ever will. They used to make a big deal about how kinky and queer and poly they were and how I was an uptight prude for not letting my boyfriend fuck other women or not doing him up the bum.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Allegedly, a certain former actress from Coronation Street (who shall remain nameless) used to occasionally walk on set with her tits out or lift her skirt up with no underwear to get a laugh, much to the fury of the senior members of the cast.

"Who wants a bite of my hotpot!" roared a belligerent Betty Driver.

[rectorofstiffkey]

John Barrowman might have been warned off his 'exuberant' behaviour if he'd read Kenneth Williams' diary:

13/5/68 'At the studios today, to brighten things up, I hid my cock between my legs and impersonated a vagina for Angela Douglas. She sunk her head in her hands and moaned "Oh! God – how horrible" and didn't find it amusing at all. This is where she lacks graciousness.'

Love the way that he presents her as being the one with the problem...

[Dex Sawash]

'man, woman, dog' party trick.

Google not helping with this

[rectorofstiffkey]

Google not helping with this

<butler-style polite cough>: Allow me, sir.

From a Daily Mail article:

Our neighbour George Melly's favourite party trick is what he calls 'Man, Woman and Bulldog'. He takes all his clothes off, stands in the middle of the room and tells everyone he's a 'Man'.

Melly pushes all his bits between his legs and, squeezing them together, shouts: 'Woman!' Finally, he turns around, bends over and barks: 'Bulldog!'

[rectorofstiffkey]

<butler-style polite cough>: Allow me, sir.

From a Daily Mail article:

Our neighbour George Melly's favourite party trick is what he calls 'Man, Woman and Bulldog'. He takes all his clothes off, stands in the middle of the room and tells everyone he's a 'Man'.

Melly pushes all his bits between his legs and, squeezing them together, shouts: 'Woman!' Finally, he turns around, bends over and barks: 'Bulldog!'

It wasn't really worth it, was it?

[Mardukas]

<butler-style polite cough>: Allow me, sir.

From a Daily Mail article:

Our neighbour George Melly's favourite party trick is what he calls 'Man, Woman and Bulldog'. He takes all his clothes off, stands in the middle of the room and tells everyone he's a 'Man'.

Melly pushes all his bits between his legs and, squeezing them together, shouts: 'Woman!' Finally, he turns around, bends over and barks: 'Bulldog!'

When he lost he sex drive late in life he said it was "like being unchained from a lunatic".