Main Menu

Support CaB

Subscribers don't see this.

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

August 17, 2022, 11:40:16 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Things your dad is doing.

Started by Glebe, May 05, 2021, 07:40:29 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cuellar

Your dad gets privatised and the quality drops noticeably

Glebe

Your dad almost fades into oblivion but is rescued by a glitch in the reality matrix.

Replies From View

your dad keeps falsetto singing 'honey nut loops, let's loop together' and nudge-winking your best mate's mum

Glebe

Your dad says he is "nostalgic for Grimes." Celebrates his 72nd birthday next week.

Greg Torso

Your dad escalates a flame war with Fred Dinenage's brother-in-law on a forum about scuba gear.

Greg Torso

Half-way through a wolf whistle your dad forgets how it ends.

Glebe

#306
Your dad wishes that "Charlie Dimmock was still on Gardeners' World. It'd give me two reasons to watch it - Charlie Dimmock and the gardening!"

"According to Wiki dad, it was Ground Force, not Gardeners' World, that Charlie Dimmock was on."

Your dad ignores you and continues to smile blankly at Pointless.

Greg Torso

Your dad stands out like a rotten leg of lamb amongst the tanned girls who work alongside him at the nail salon

Greg Torso

Your dad says he's going to start charging the cat tuition fees if it doesn't stop watching him make sandwiches.

idunnosomename

Your dad's gonna blow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your dad keeps leaving post-it notes with pieces of homespun mechanical wisdom on them for you to see: 'a greased valve is a happy valve' or 'never make assumptions about a piston'.

He's quite right though.

Your dad has been eating nothing but candy floss for breakfast, lunch and dinner for several weeks.

Replies From View

Quote from: Greg Torso on July 07, 2021, 11:32:52 AM
Half-way through a wolf whistle your dad forgets how it ends.

That's what a real wolf whistle sounds like though.  I bet he accidentally got it right by doing his trademarked question mark noise and simply stopping.

Replies From View

Quote from: Clatty McCutcheon on July 07, 2021, 01:02:44 PM
Your dad has been eating nothing but candy floss for breakfast, lunch and dinner for several weeks.

Ah, yes.  The Fairground Foods Father, they call them when this happens

Cuellar

Your dad has climbed onto the reduced shelf in Tesco.

"10p off," he warbles at passers by

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Your dad has offended my family, and he has offended the Shaolin Temple.

Glebe

Your dad dresses up as Jar Jar Binks and starts describing hardware he likes as "mooi-mooi good!"

Fishfinger

Resting his back discs after an unspecified adventure.

Fishfinger

Scouring car boot sales for a working VHS player to relive his youth, wanking to that scene in An American Werewolf in London.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Quote from: Fishfinger on July 07, 2021, 09:47:00 PM
Scouring car boot sales for a working VHS player to relive his youth, wanking to that scene in An American Werewolf in London.

The bit where he's naked in the park?

Glebe

Your dad suggests "they do an advertising campaign to make DIY 'cool' to young people. They could get Alvin Stardust to do it, doing a thumbs up and going, 'Come on, gang! Get into DIY - O.K.?' And you can send off for a free DIY pack with six tokens in special packs of Weetabix. Plus £1.49 P&P."

Fishfinger

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on July 07, 2021, 11:00:10 PM
The bit where he's naked in the park?

Actually, he's always had a thing for severed heads bouncing off a vehicular bonnet.

Fishfinger

Quote from: Glebe on July 07, 2021, 11:45:18 PM
Your dad suggests "they do an advertising campaign to make DIY 'cool' to young people. They could get Alvin Stardust to do it, doing a thumbs up and going, 'Come on, gang! Get into DIY - O.K.?' And you can send off for a free DIY pack with six tokens in special packs of Weetabix. Plus £1.49 P&P."

I fucking hate my dad.

Glebe

Your dad thinks Thor: The Dark World is "the best superhero's movie of all time."


Cuellar

Your dad is operating a chainsaw at 8am to the annoyance of the entire street

Replies From View

your dad is smacking a Sega 32x around the place in an apparent fury.  Rattling it along railings and angrily trying to flex it back and forth so it cracks.  Something seems to have triggered him but he isn't using his words.

popcorn

Quote from: Replies From View on July 08, 2021, 04:53:07 PM
your dad is smacking a Sega 32x around the place in an apparent fury.  Rattling it along railings and angrily trying to flex it back and forth so it cracks.  Something seems to have triggered him but he isn't using his words.

It is because he has realised he should have got a Mega Drive 32X for his PAL Mega Drive.

Your dad claims he is looking at the NastyGal.com lingerie section "for the articles".

Glebe

Your dad is raging because a yellow sweater he wanted to buy is gone from Marks & Sparks.