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August 18, 2022, 08:43:02 PM

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Things your dad is doing.

Started by Glebe, May 05, 2021, 07:40:29 AM

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Quote from: popcorn on July 08, 2021, 04:59:02 PM
It is because he has realised he should have got a Mega Drive 32X for his PAL Mega Drive.

This sounds very likely

Glebe

Your dad has a thing for The Spice Girls. "They're like the Legs & Co. for the modern era!"

jenna appleseed

Quote from: Cuellar on July 07, 2021, 01:24:48 PM
Your dad has climbed onto the reduced shelf in Tesco.

"10p off," he warbles at passers by

Is Martin Lewis my dad now?

jenna appleseed

Your dad is paint the whole forum orange, he has no idea why but says
'other people were doing it so it must be the lastest in thing, don't want to look out of touch, do I?'

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your dad is a cuck


he has been told this, he doesn't know what it means and he is jokingly making chicken noises, thinking that everyone is laughing with him rather than at him

non capisco

Your dad is dancing about in his garden listening to Baby I Love Your Way by Big Mountain and shouting "Jah Rastafari!"

Later he confides in you that "That was the 'eaviest dub mi can handle."

non capisco

Your dad is having a memory wank.

It is a memory wank about Ms. Pacman.

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your dad is saying that when his male menopause comes he won't need to shave anymore

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your dad is getting the hang of screensavers

Fishfinger

Quote from: Replies From View on July 10, 2021, 09:45:50 AM
your dad is getting the hang of screensavers

The black tarpaulin is workin' wonders. Wonders. Safe now.

Safe.

No don't look at it!

idunnosomename

Your dad is giving his perineum a bloody good scrub.

Your dad has cooked a slap-up dinner for his own tombstone.

Your dad is lost inside a mirror.

Your dad has found nine identical clouds.

Your dad has been caught having a posh wank inside a boglin.

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your dad is up dancing on the tables his local, and as usual:  cock out, squidging it so that it looks like Louis CK's face

jobotic

Your dad has told another dad that his dad could have the other dad's dad in a fight. But the other dad didn't hear him.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Cuellar on July 07, 2021, 01:24:48 PM
Your dad has climbed onto the reduced shelf in Tesco.

"10p off," he warbles at passers by

Hmm, that's dosent sound like him at all

MY dad??

Fishfinger

Turning the shampoo and shower gel bottles to face the tiles so they can't see his naked body.

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your dad has saved up a few coins during lockdown so is eyeing up a range of marble soap dispenser holders

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Fishfinger on July 11, 2021, 05:05:58 PM
Turning the shampoo and shower gel bottles to face the tiles so they can't see his naked body.

That's a little TOO matey for my liking!
He thinks, giving the sailor a sharp turn

The sailor on the other side of the bottle is revdaled to him as he does this

I see this isn't your first rodeo sailor

Glebe

"I've always hated the Italians, bloody fascists."

Fishfinger


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your dad is shuffling a load of papers under his mattress at the merest hint of noises in the house

Fishfinger

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on July 11, 2021, 06:03:46 PM
That's a little TOO matey for my liking!
He thinks, giving the sailor a sharp turn

The sailor on the other side of the bottle is revdaled to him as he does this

I see this isn't your first rodeo sailor

He is roleplaying in the garden again. His dwarven cleric is trying to lighten the mood during a fraught ocean voyage. There are props, but no other players.

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your dad has "tent vest" caused by stretching all his vests with his tummy and then shedding all his body fat in a matter of weeks

Replies From View

Morning of 12th July 2021:  your dad is now immensely excited about football and is trying to gee all his pals into tagging along with him.  "C'mon lads, haha, where's your patriotic spirit?  Football's coming home it's coming home, haha!  What a blast eh lads!!"


Sounds quite good on paper, but don't forget he associates football with standing around in the icy cold in only his underpants.

Cuellar

Your dad has been sending filthy DMs to a local reverend

Glebe

It turns out your dad is an absolutely huge romcom fan, and has an entire shelving unit filled with DVDs of everything from Love, Actually to P.S I Love You. He presumptuously invites your gay friend Henry around for a "girls night-in style binge watch" but Henry politely turns him down. "It's your loss Henry, bottle of Tesco wine and a large bag of Maltesers going begging!"

idunnosomename

Your dad has been soliciting sex from a gnome.

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your dad is sprawled out on the floor playing hungry hippoes with himself

Kankurette

Your dad ate all the glace cherries you were going to be using for that cake and now you have to buy some more.

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your dad is proud of having just watched alien resurrection.  "my first alien film!" he is beaming, and he's vowing to watch alien vs predator next

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Quote from: Kankurette on July 15, 2021, 12:53:33 PM
Your dad ate all the glace cherries you were going to be using for that cake and now you have to buy some more.

this sounds to me like a true one that you are bitter about