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Things your dad is doing.

Started by Glebe, May 05, 2021, 07:40:29 AM

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non capisco


Quote from: non capisco on July 27, 2021, 12:04:54 AM
Your dad is grooving out to his favourite cassette tape, 'The Best Of 1990s Neighbours Incidental Music'

Brings back some memories, that does. It soundtracked many a classic scene. Des and Daphne going dogging in a lay-by outside Yarrawonga. Paul Robinson shooting up smack with Nick Cave behind Lassiters...

Replies From View

your dad is digging and digging and digging in his garden like a mole, tubing down beneath the foundations of the house.  thinks he's going to find treasure

Glebe

Your dad has started wearing a Stetson and saying things like "No muss, no fuss," and "Always be ready to do a solid for your buddies."

Glebe

Your dad is watching episodes of Thief Takers he videotaped off the telly "back in the good old days."

Replies From View

your dad is absolutely and unshakeably convinced that 'a wolf in sheep's clothing' is a reference to transvestites

Glebe

Your dad is singing the Cagney & Lacey theme in the bath.

Fishfinger

Quote from: Replies From View on July 27, 2021, 07:55:53 PM
your dad is digging and digging and digging in his garden like a mole, tubing down beneath the foundations of the house.  thinks he's going to find treasure

He's not wrong. That necklace around the skeletal throat of his ex-wife Janice is worth £50. More when it's cleaned.

Glebe

Your dad is strutting around the kitchen with his hands on his hips to the sound of the Bee Gees' 'Jive Talkin''. Then 'Ease on Down the Road' from The Wiz soundtrack comes on his mixtape and he's 'thumbing a lift'! Bellbottoms never looked so purple!

KaraokeDragon

Your dad is blasting out Kid Frost - La Raza to make your girlfriend "feel more at home" even though she's a blonde racist from rural Castile

Replies From View

your dad has managed to obtain a vintage mr frosty frozen orange squash maker, and how!!

Replies From View

your dad is now marketing calor gas on a voluntary basis

jobotic

Quote from: Glebe on July 27, 2021, 08:52:15 PM
Your dad has started wearing a Stetson and saying things like "No muss, no fuss," and "Always be ready to do a solid for your buddies."

He just beheaded some nettles in the alley behind your garden with his electric strimmer whilst yeehawing "don't mess with Texas y'all".

Cuellar

Your dad is systematically murdering your friends and then he's gonna come for you so you better be goddamn ready alright

Replies From View

Quote from: Cuellar on August 01, 2021, 09:27:28 PM
Your dad is systematically murdering your friends and then he's gonna come for you so you better be goddamn ready alright

Oh no.... I told him not to be inspired by 'Game For A Laugh'. 

The Bumlord

Your dad insists on greeting you by slapping his fingers together and going BRRRRRRAP


Glebe

Your dad is sexually aroused by Turtle car wax. "It has to be specifically be Turtle brand though," he explains, temporarily losing tumesence.

Replies From View

Quote from: Utterdrivel on August 02, 2021, 09:45:21 PM


What's the history behind this image please?  Is it photoshopped?

Fishfinger

#439
He is delivering the eulogy at a nearby wedding, no matter how much they complain.

Fishfinger

Spending a long weekend in a haunted castle. It's a bucket-formed sandcastle of his own middle-aged waste, and the ghost is his cock.

Glebe

You watch your dad painting the skirting board in the hallway while 'Imagine' plays on the radio on a Saturday afternoon.

Replies From View

your dad is spitballing climate science

Replies From View

your dad is enacting a method for piping his bodily functions to the pavement area of his nearest subway

Berthas Fat Leg

Your dad's just stuck a cheeky bid in on that low mileage orange Austin Maxi in Falkirk.

Berthas Fat Leg

Your dad's just done a big eggy pump in a pair of Lidl jeans.

Glebe


Berthas Fat Leg

Your dad loves fig rolls and piss-weak tea.

Your dad took a day off work just to sit in his pants watching On The Buses.

Your dad has been using the spare bed for a depressingly long time.

Glebe

Your dad is drunk and singing at your sister's wedding do.

"Oh Harib-o-o-o, the pipes, the pipes are calling..."

Replies From View

your dad is refusing to listen to you from now on unless you are quoting Eisenhower