Star Trek: The Next Generation Rewatch (oh god no)

[Blumf]

It's like a space filler episode, but it takes such a heavy topic. Tend to not pay attention to it when it turns up on TV, not because of the subject matter, but just because it's so boring.

I too would have liked it to go full Scanners at the end, with Troi showing us some Betazoid Mind-Jitsu, but nope, dull and not very insightful.

Anyway, how many Troi gets mind raped episodes are we at now, lost count, 3 or 4 I think.

[MojoJojo]

Often fiction has the idea that a psychic attack traps the victim in a nightmare - and that could have been an interesting way to see some of the characters. But it layers on the rape metaphor, and the actual fears are boring. And the baddie doesn't have any motivation.

Honestly it would be a lot better if it dropped the rape metaphor, which only really works for Troi anyway. Then you just have to deal with it being boring.

[daf]

111 | "Violations"



Ullian Pipe Dream

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• "Klingons do not allow themselves to be probed"
• Picard's Hairy Borg Bonce
• One-Punch Worf
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• Post-Poker Troima
• Riker : Wronged or Wrong-un?
• Fingered Father Framed
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

The story would be better if we were led to believe it was Tarmin all along. It's Jev! Jev in every attack! Oops no it's  Tarmin OOPS AGAIN IT REALLY WAS JEV like two minutes later.

Not much better, mind. The episode with the asshole who uses women as a receptacle for his negative emotions like a fucked up version of The Picture of Dorian Grey is a better story. Plus he dies at the end, hooray.

[Lemming]

S05E13 - The Masterpiece Society

The Enterprise discovers a lost human colony, built on genetic modification.

- Mysterious lost colony! The planet's about to get fucked by some natural disaster (specifically, a "stellar core fragment" that will cause earthquakes), so the Enterprise swoops in to warn them. They meet AARON CONOR, the leader of the colony.

- Conor says nobody can leave the colony as it's sealed. But Picard is elated to describe the existence of MATTER/ENERGY TRANSPORT which will allow an away team to beam down. Everyone in the colony is psyched to see the cool transporter effect.

- Conor and his Angry Sidekick Man explain that the colony was based around selective breeding, which has been going on for eight generations. This is why all the men have rock-solid hairlines.

- It gets even weirder - people haven't just been selectively bred to eradicate disease and increase health and mental fortitude, but everyone's bred for specific roles.

CONOR: My entire psychological makeup tells me that I was born to lead. I am exactly what I would choose to be. Think of it another way. Are there still people in your society who have not discovered who they really are, or what they were meant to do with their lives? They may be in the wrong job, they may be writing bad poetry. Or worse yet, they may be great poets working as labourers, never to be discovered. That does not happen here.

- The colony's lead scientist, HANNAH BATES, is assigned to work with Geordi. Troi thinks the colony is cool and decides to stay and check it out some more. More specifically, she digs Conor, so they go for a walk in the Selectively Bred Garden and make faces at each other.

- Hannah's figured out some mad shit that could avert the disaster, but she'll need to go up to the Enterprise to work on it. Angry Sidekick Man (who is called Martin, it turns out) freaks out about it and complains that the transporter could mangle Hannah's DNA. Eventually she gets permission to go up to the ship, so everyone heads there.

- Picard has a little tantrum about the society because he doesn't like that they don't experience the uncertainty of congenital heart defects. Meanwhile, Geordi takes his VISOR off and Hannah's well interested in his blindness. Geordi's in a mood because he would have been aborted if he'd been conceived in the colony, and takes it out on Hannah who hasn't said shit. VISOR-Chat results in them figuring out how to supercharge the tractor beam or whatever it is they're working on, which will let them save the colony.

- Troi goes back down to see Conor again. Conor demonstrates his knowledge of literary heritage by comparing himself to Humpty Dumpty, then they kiss in front of a greenscreen. Conor and Troi are now IN LOVE after the whirlwind romance of the last, uh, day.

- The next day, Troi bashes herself for letting herself fall in love with Unattainable Selectively Bred Man.

- Extended sequence of the tractor beam plan working. Could only have been improved by a full SAUCER SEP.

- Hannah fucks it up on purpose because she has come to believe that the colony sucks serious shit. She decides to ask for asylum aboard the Enterprise. There's a big debate about whether or not this is acceptable:

RIKER: She may not be the only one. The science teams that went down to the surface fielded a lot of questions from colonists who were more than curious about what's outside their world.
WORF: Why shouldn't we grant them asylum?
TROI: We can't do that.
GEORDI: We have to do that.
TROI: Do you understand what it would do to the colony?
GEORDI: I understand these are human beings, Counsellor, with free will. If she wants to leave, she has every right to.
RIKER: And what happens to the colony if she does? If others join her?
CRUSHER: The society is genetically integrated. Suddenly there would be gaps, missing pieces.
TROI: It would destroy them.
CRUSHER: There must be something we can do to help.
PICARD: We may have done too much to help them already, Doctor.
WORF: We saved them from destruction.
PICARD: Did we?

Harking back to the prime directive discussions we had way earlier in the thread, but Troi and Picard just seem to be talking bollocks to me here. If people decide to leave of their own accord, why is that the Enterprise's fault? Why is it the Enterprise's responsibility to prop up the colony's ideology? Why does the colony's ideology have to be protected at the expense of the will/rights of the people within it? Also, what was the alternative - just watch them die, safe in the knowledge that they're "uncontaminated" (albeit all dead) a la Pen Pals? NONSENSE

- Troi admits to Picard that she's had a romantic relationship with Conor. I'm genuinely not sure why it's considered to be bad judgement or unprofessional on her part. Regardless, Picard assures her that her actions are "human", because he forgot she's half-Betazoid.

- Martin is yelling because the colony sucks and is on the brink of collapse. Hannah insists on leaving, but her fate rests in the hands of Conor and Picard. Which way will Emperor Picard's thumb point? Conor admits he wants to leave the colony too. The entire society has literally collapsed after five days of limited contact with the Enterprise.

- Conor demands that asylum not be granted to anyone. Picard wants to grant it because they're Humans, and therefore have Human Rights. Ultimately, Picard and Conor both go out to talk to the assembled crowd and beg them to accept a shit compromise solution of waiting six months before fucking off.

- Troi goes to say goodbye to Conor and they say romantic things to each other. TRUE LOVE with Troi has shown Conor the error of his selectively-bred ways.

- Picard gets in one last big whine about how he thinks the Prime Directive should have applied here, because the people didn't deserve to get the opportunity to interact with new ideas, and meeting new people is the absolute worst part of space travel. Picard wrongly concludes that their contact was just as dangerous as the natural disaster which would have literally killed everyone.

The episode flirts with the topic of genetic engineering in humans, but like several other episodes of TNG, it doesn't really want to get into the issue and interrogate it, it just wants to use a real world talking point as a paper-thin coat of paint to make a boring plot seem like it has some kind of cool cerebral edge to it. So the entire colony are insane eugenicists for the crew to complain at, never feeling at any point like a coherent ideology for the crew to challenge or be challenged by. Feels like a bad TOS episode in terms of the planet-of-the-week existing only as a one dimensional cautionary tale.

It's also a weird writing choice to have the colony be based on selective breeding, but to then never explain how this is actually done for eight generations. How was it enforced? It's never explained or broached in any way, but how would this be done without some kind of horrible coercion? It might have been more interesting if they used some kind of technology to modify babies in utero instead (as seen in Voyager's "Lineage") and didn't have the "we have been bred to be poets" madness going on. Then the episode would at least bear some resemblance to an issue that we're dealing with, or are on the cusp of dealing with, in reality. It could also have let the episode focus on Geordi's disturbed reaction to a society where anything considered a disability is "fixed" prior to birth and in which he would have been modified, which is the only really interesting thing in the episode.

Picard's incessant complaining was a source of irritation too, especially his closing remarks which present the most self-congratulatory and condescending justification for the Prime Directive, essentially boiling down to "people who aren't us are too stupid and fragile to be exposed to debate or new ideas, and their society will surely collapse in minutes if they see how much better we are than them". He also insists that the Enterprise is responsible for what's happened, because apparently:
a) it's a bad thing that some people have decided to emigrate, this is unacceptable
b) they're imbeciles with no personal agency who can't think for themselves and were helpless in the face of our superior beliefs, we should have recognised this and refused to speak with them
c) people apparently have a duty to spend their lives propping up their society/nation/colony/etc at the expense of their own desires and wishes, so it would have been better if the dissatisfied people had never had the opportunity to leave for a better life or explore a new way of living
d) societies/ideologies/orthodoxies have a natural right to exist, and if they collapse or transform due to changing attitudes of the people within them, it is a tragedy

Also lol @ him wanting the Prime Directive to expand to cover a society of humans who are well aware of space travel. Why stop there? Why not apply it to the Klingons? What if Federation ideas of non-violence and egalitarianism sweep through Klingon society and they decide to make big reforms, or even flee Qo'noS in significant numbers?

But yeah, the fairly shallow debates the episode engages in are just window dressing for a plot which I think is meant to be about Troi falling in love, but she only gets to spend ten seconds with her love interest before they declare their love for each other, after which she leaps instantly in the next scene to regret and a dramatic breakup. Relationship on steroids! I spent most of the review here complaining about the episode's handling of the issues but the bulk of the episode is actually Troi walking around on the planet with nothing happening or Geordi sat in Engineering with nothing happening. 2/10

[Poobum]

How do you selectively breed anything in 8 generations? And also you're very bad eugenicists if your genetically modified society has absolutely no adaptability and collapses at the first encounter with novel stimulus. These people need to re-sit their evolutionary biology.

[Blumf]

I suppose the original colonists could have already done a few generations of selective breeding before they arrived, but even then, there's nowhere near enough time to select for subtle and complex traits like 'leadership' or '(bad) poet'.

Possibly the reason they setup in an isolated colony in the first place, as too many of them were wandering off back to the general population. Once cut off, like a lot of religions/cults, much easier to keep people in line. And as we saw, as soon as the opportunity arose, loads of them wanted out.

So maybe that should have been the underlying thrust of the episode, an allegory of cults. Have the Enterprise playing the ATF to the colonists Branch Davidians. ... Except that happened a year after this episode.

[MojoJojo]

I don't really reject any of your criticism, but I just seemed to enjoy the dicking around in engineering more, so surprised it got such a low score. I faffing on my phone which meant I could tune out a lot of the Troi "romance" stuff.

I suppose the original colonists could have already done a few generations of selective breeding before they arrived, but even then, there's nowhere near enough time to select for subtle and complex traits like 'leadership' or '(bad) poet'.

A possibly interesting way of taking it is they've just been led to believe they've been selectively bred - but really they've just been trained and brainwashed from birth for particular roles.

[Blumf]

A possibly interesting way of taking it is they've just been led to believe they've been selectively bred - but really they've just been trained and brainwashed from birth for particular roles.

Ooh yeah, that'd be a good watch, seeing the repercussion as everybody start realising they weren't anything special in their given field.

So many interesting ways you could work this episode's setup and all we got was a boring Troi romance plot and some Prime Directive bollocks.

[daf]

112 | "The Masterpiece Society"



OMG!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• Organisation
• Architecture & Morality
• Genetic Engineering
• The Pacific Age
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• Crush
• Pandora's Box
• Liberator
• She's Leaving
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[The Culture Bunker]

One of those episodes I'm really struggling to recollect. Aspects of Lemming's summary sounded vaguely familiar, so I'm sure I've seen it, but not much beyond that.

Hence the scores provided, I guess.

[Lemming]

S05E14 - Conundrum

The entire crew lose their memories, and have to figure out who they are and what they're doing while en route to a warzone.

- Troi slaughters Data at 3D chess. Trillions of calculations per second!

- Meanwhile, in sickbay, some kid has managed to fuck up every single muscle in her body, after an O'Brien-style holodeck accident. Don't the safety protocols do anything?!

- YES! Riker enters the episode by stomping down a corridor and bellowing at Ro. Ro has improved navigation or something, and Riker's petrified at being left out, because if his role as a shouty middle-manager becomes irrelevant, he'll have NOTHING. "The rules on this ship do not change just because Ro Laren decides they do!!!" Apparently, they just did!

- Weird ship approaching, one life form on board, not responding to hails. Geordi recommends we raise shields, Picard refuses. Guess what happens next. Time between Picard refusing to raise shields and ordering the raising of shields was, in this case, 13 seconds.

- Data, who is making a drink for Troi at the bar, is struck by a Bastard Ray that soon sweeps through the rest of the ship. After it, nobody can remember who they are or what's going on.

- The bridge crew decide to try and figure out who they are and what's up. There's a new guy here we've never seen before called McDuff. Ro and Picard realise that the crew have retained some skills - Ro still knows how to work the navigation console, Worf still knows how to operate tactical, etc.

- Riker reckons Picard is the captain, but Worf points out that his Fancy Sash qualifies him to be captain.

- The computer is locked. No Majel Barrett! Geordi gets in manually and Worf sends a message throughout the ship asking for representatives of each area to report to the bridge. Worf then becomes CAPTAIN.

- Riker's efficiency hasn't been hindered at all by the memory wipe, and he's already back to hovering directly above people while they try to work.

- Picard reports to Captain Worf. Excellent. The ship has never been in better hands.

- Bev discovers that nobody has brain damage, and their memories are still intact, but being blocked somehow. Meanwhile, Riker and Ro go to every room on the ship to tell people not to panic about the fact that they have no memories and they're lost in deep space. During this, Riker and Ro become GREAT MATES, free of their memories of hating each other.

- Data has become the bartender. Troi's empathic skills kick in and she gets a feeling of absolute fucking stomach-knotting disgust when she looks at Riker - her memories are returning!

- Geordi gets up the crew records, which tells everyone their name and role on the ship. McDuff possesses the clearly-bullshit role of "EXECUTIVE OFFICER", by the way.

- The computer records say that the Federation is at war with the Lysian Alliance, a "genocidal race" out to destroy the Federation at all costs. The war has stretched on for years, and they've captured 14 Federation ships and their crews. The memory wipe was apparently the result of a new Lysian weapon. The Enteprise's orders are to fly into Lysian territory and blow them up.

- Troi thinks this is a load of bullshit and that they should contact Shitfleet Command to check the orders. This is too sensible, so everyone ignores her and decides to fly into Lysian space regardless.

- In Troi's quarters later, Riker looms at the door. She tells him again that he's the only thing that seems familiar to her, and kisses him on the cheek. In light of this new information, Riker strides over to his own quarters where he finds Ro waiting for him.

RIKER: I know I didn't get the wrong room.
RO: I just didn't like the way my quarters were decorated. Besides, I have this funny feeling that maybe I spend most of my off hours here.
RIKER: Really?
RO: For all we know, you and I could be married.
RIKER: For all we know, you and I could hate each other.
RO: Sort of exciting, isn't it? We just don't know.

Now could be a good time to reflect on the experience you had with Troi about one minute earlier, and its implications. He doesn't, of course - nobody's listening to her about anything else, why start now?

- A LYSIAN DESTROYER is moving to intercept the Enterprise. McDuff demands that we fire immediately, but Picard holds off. Data's analysis reveals that the Lysian warship is no match for the Enterprise. The warship attempts to hail them. Troi says we should respond to the hail. Nobody listens, the Lysians power up weapons, Picard orders their destruction. Troi should just be the captain at this point.

- Geordi can't reach certain records because he is, quote, "hitting a file wall". He asks Data why he might be the only android on board, and he wonders if there might be a ton of other Datas.

- Troi comes to see Riker and impresses upon him the strength of her This-Is-All-Fucked-Up feeling. He brushes her off to talk about trombones. He also tells her that he found a book given to him with a written message from her in the front, and moves to kiss her. Then Ro walks in!!! Being a Sigma Female, she has no problem making Omega Female Troi leave in seconds. Riker, who is coming across incredibly badly, appears to spend another night with Ro. Right after finding the book with the message from Troi and trying to kiss her!

- Bev's memory-replacement-shit is ready, and McDuff insists on being the first volunteer. On the biobed, he begins to DIE HORRIBLY and the procedure has to be halted. With Bev's procedure now apparently rubbished, McDuff goes to see Picard, who expresses doubts about the nature of their mission. He wants to abandon the mission, but McDuff tells him that like eight hundred trillion lives are at stake if they fail. Picard relishes in the opportunity to look pensively out of his window.

- McDuff calls Worf to a private meeting. They are both BORN FOR BATTLE, he says, and discretely asks for Worf's support in a mutiny against Picard, if it comes to that.

- The Enterprise arrives in the Lysian home system, where automated drones are protecting the central command. The drones are effortlessly kncoked out, and the Enterprise continues towards the command base, which is completely undefended, bar for some insanely lame weak weapons and a joke shield. There are over 15,000 people on board.

- Troi tells Picard not to fire and, for once, other people bother to chime in. Picard tries to open a channel to the Lysians and McDuff goes crazy apeshit and orders Worf to fire. Shooting McDuff with a phaser on stun reveals his human appearance to be a WEIRD ILLUSION and he's actually some mad alien thing.

- Bev's procedure, which was legit after all, has restored the crew's memories. The Lysians have made contact and identified McDuff as a Satarran, an enemy of the Lysians. With everything resolved, Riker goes to Ten Forward to get roasted by Ro and Troi for his dipshit behaviour.

Nice concept and it's executed fairly well. Some nice comedy moments too with Data at the bar and Captain Worf.

Riker really does come off awfully here - both of his encounters with Ro take place seconds after very clear indications that there may be an existing relationship between him and Troi. I think he's a complete shithead but not this much of a shithead.

It's fun to watch the crew blunder around, but when they get their identities confirmed by the computer, they sort of slide back into just being their regular selves. It might have been more fun to play up the confusion and have everyone in the wrong place for the whole episode. Go mental with it, have Bev as Captain Worf's first officer or some shit. More of a focus on the titular conundrum would have been nice too, since it sort of stays in the background until near the end. Good for what it is, though!

It's also one of those episodes where there's no fucking way there can be over a thousand people - including little kids - on board the ship, but that's most episodes. Very obvious lack of any sign of Alexander either, but I'm not generally one to complain about episodic TV leaving out stuff like that, because it'd actually be way fucking worse if we had to have an Alexander scene every episode. 7/10

[daf]

113 | "Conundrum"



Blanks for the Memory

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• The Robot Bartender Sketch
• Mysterious Moustache-twirling MacDuff
• Captain Worf's Sheepish climbdown
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• 3D Chess #10 : Troi's Sumerian Sunset Checkmate in 7 Moves
• Riker's Ro-mance
• This is Mutiny Mr Kieran!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[Mr Trumpet]

I think it would have been funnier if "McDuff" hadn't bothered with the unnecessary human disguise and just hung out on the bridge as a freaky rubber suit alien. Why would anyone have questioned it?

[MojoJojo]

Felt the buxom girl in the swimsuit was a bit unnecessary - and how did she go diving without getting wet?

Not much to say. Feels like a bit of a missed opportunity for everything to go a bit crazy for a bit - but everyone stays very polite and formal. Guess it wouldn't be tng if they didn't.

[Lemming]

Felt the buxom girl in the swimsuit was a bit unnecessary - and how did she go diving without getting wet?

HOLO-WATER. Been thinking about this for days because I recently saw a Voyager episode where Janeway's hair was soaked at the start after she fell into a holodeck river, but was dried the instant she went from the holodeck to the bridge. There must be holographic water that behaves like real water and affects non-holographic matter by making it wet, but can't exist outside the holodeck.

[Blumf]

I'm not sure about MacDuff's presence. It kinda spoilers the plot as you know he's not right from the moment he turns up, but you need him there... maybe?

Anyway, agree with @Lemming that it would have been more fun if the crew stuck with their mixed up rolls until the end. This is the point in the shows run, where we're all comfortable with the main cast, that you can play about like that nicely.

[Lemming]

Sorry for the delay, somehow ended up having to go to Bradford for a couple of days.

S05E15 - Power Play

Some of the crew are possessed by what appear to be the ghosts of a lost starship.

- The USS Essex, under Captain Bryce Shumar, was lost in deep space over two centuries ago. Over two centuries! That puts it before around 2160, right? How did it get out this far during Archer's time?

- The Essex's TRANSPONDER SIGNAL is coming from a shitty weird moon. Mystery solved! Except Troi says she can detect someone alive down there. Transporting is impossible, so it's time for a shuttle-based away team. Led by Riker! What will go tits up this time around?

- 20 seconds into the mission, the shuttle's engine's fail. Riker shows off his command chops by screaming "ENTERPRIIISE!" down the intercom. The shuttle crashes and we get a fucking exceptional barrel roll shot of the gang getting tossed around the cockpit.

- The shuttle is clusterfucked and Riker's broken his arm in the crash. The team investigate and find a Strange Glitter Wall in the air. Data's getting no lifesign readings, but Troi says that there's multiple people here, and they're out in the glitter wall.

- O'Brien leaps at the chance to do another impossible transporter trick, still high off his "I can beam through shields" moment in "The Wounded". He beams down through the impossible-to-beam-through storm with absolutely no ill effects, and locates the away team. He brings with him some ENHANCER RODS (phwoaaaar) that will allow transporters to work despite the storm.

- Everyone gets KO'd by a jolt of lightning. STRANGE ORBS emerge from the glitter wall and inhabit the bodies of Troi, Data and O'Brien. One of them considers going into Riker, but thinks twice when it gets a look at how shite he is.

- Troi wakes up later and is told by Bev that everything's fine. The rest of the away team is here too. The End

- Data, who's acting weird, suggests scanning the southern polar region of the planet. Troi calls a meeting with Picard, and impresses upon him that there were definitely people down there, in the southern polar region, and that they should go there at once.

- NotData kicks Riker's ass, then NotO'Brien tosses Worf over the railing (lol) and shoots Ro and Riker. NotTroi also gives Picard the TWO-HANDED KNOCKOUT BLOW. This entire scene is fucking hilarious so here's some gifs:





Can you believe that there are actually people out there who don't think Star Trek is the greatest TV franchise of all time?

- The hijackers head for engineering, but get locked in a turbolift by Worf's incredible security skills. This is like the fourth or fifth time whewn the bridge crew have to stop intruders from moving freely around the ship. Historically, they've gotten it arse-backwards, but this time will be the charm!

- Worf is completely fooled by the old "take your commbadge off and just ditch it somewhere" trick. The security forcefields are effortlessly bypassed too, and the intruders move to Ten Forward and take everyone hostage, including Keiko, who's inexplicably brought a crying screaming baby to a bar where people are trying to have a good time.

- Worf's Rainbow Six style security team move in to take on the intruders. The intruders are immune to stun, so they just absolutely body everyone, and shoot all the bar patrons too.

- The intruders have gained the knowledge of the people they've possessed, meaning they have O'Brien's ENGINEERING KNOW-HOW which allows them to evade all attempts to stop them.

- Riker remembers what the writers always forget - we've got that gas that just knocks you out, and we can flood any room with it. But NotData will be immune, and could kill the hostages in retaliation. The bridge crew begin working on a plan to knock everyone out at once, like they're playing Desperados.

- I love Riker's second plan of just running into Ten Forward and firing on wide beam stun. "We could stun everybody and sort it out later". I just love the idea of Riker rushing in and shooting baby Molly O'Brien in the fucking face.

- NotTroi, the leader of the hijackers, tries to open negotiations with Picard. Meanwhile, NotData, who is a Psycho Bastard, tries to start a fight with Worf. NotTroi issues her demands - go to the southern polar region and hover around there. Picard engages in hostage negotiation, which was presumably a required course at the academy, along with everything else.

- Picard's first move is to give in to the demands and fly to the requested area. Bev tries to console Riker by telling him that the Posession Orb probably didn't pick him because of his broken arm, rather than the fact that he's naff and his flabby body would be of no use for their plans. She thinks that pain is what prevents the orbs from being able to possess someone, and so inflicting pain on the others may free them.

- Geordi and Ro go through the Jeffries Tubes to deploy the PAINGIVER DEVICE above Ten Forward while Bev tries to figure out what the fuck to do as soon as the orbs leave the crew's bodies. Picard goes back to begging NotTroi to let the injured people go, offering himself in their place, which she agrees to.

- Molly starts crying again, and NotO'Brien comes over and scares the shit out of Keiko by raising his voice and standing intimidatingly close to her. Good to see he's unaffected by the possession after all, acting like his normal self.

- Picard arrives in Ten Forward and lets himself be taken hostage. NotTroi says that she's Bryce Shumar, the captain of the Essex. When the ship crashed, the crew were disembodied and became energy, and have been flying around for centuries. She says that they've taken over the away team's bodies as a call for help, and that Picard must use the Enterprise to release the rest of the trapped Essex crew, who are at the southern pole. She also gives a bunch of cool facts about the Essex, in an attempt to prove that she really is Shumar.

- The PAINGIVER DEVICE is ready. Worf and Picard obliviously stand beneath it having a cultural exchange about ghost stories. NotO'Brien goes back to hassling Keiko and Molly. Negotiations start to go fuckwards and Keiko and Worf are chosen to be executed if Picard fails to comply. At that moment, the PAINGIVER DEVICE fires and everyone except NotData gets fucked up. NotData grabs Picard's neck and lifts him off the ground. Excellent scene, there's clearly like a stagehand or something just lifting Patrick Stewart up off-camera.

- The Enterprise flies to the allaged crash site of the Essex. Transporters - crucial to the hijacker's plans - still won't work, forcing them to relocate to a cargo bay. Picard offers to escort them as a hostage, with Keiko and Worf also being taken.

- The fucking action music while the group walk down the corridor. Incredible.

- Picard challenges NotTroi, and demands to know who she really is, given that the Essex story is clearly horseshit. On the bridge, Riker prepares to vent the cargo bay into space.

- NotTroi admits that she and the others are alien prisoners, separated from their bodies and condemned to spend ABSOLUTELY AGES on the moon. The transporter begins to bring the other prisoners aboard, who intend to take over the rest of the crew and use their bodies and the Enterprise to fly home.

- Bev brings the BEV CONTAINMNENT FIELD online which traps the prisoners in transport. Picard, Keiko and Worf threaten to kill themselves and the prisoners by allowing Riker to vent the cargo bay. Having been absolutely owned, the prisoners abandon the away team's bodies and return to join the others, who are transported back to the moon.

- Recovered from the experience, Troi says that the alien who possessed her was actually well cool, Data apologises to Worf for nearly killing him, and O'Brien apologises for the violence the alien did with his body by saying he wishes he could have committed violence against the alien instead, which Keiko is thrilled about.

Tons of fun, some of the best Star Trek episodes are where they just do standard thriller stories with a sci-fi twist. It's tight and well-paced, the intruders pose a real believable threat, everyone gets something to do, and the potential for them being the ghosts of the Essex crew is great twist, which you can really believe for a good part of the episode.

8/10

[Blumf]

Sorry for the delay, somehow ended up having to go to Bradford for a couple of days.

My condolences.

S05E15 - Power Play
...


Can you believe that there are actually people out there who don't think Star Trek is the greatest TV franchise of all time?

That wall bounce!! Can't stop watching. Picard actually has to dither off course to achieve it after being 'knocked out', like several steps of wondering about before he finds the wall.

The other ones are pretty damn good actually, Worf and Ro especially must have been stunt doubles, no way a normal actor could safely handle bouncing over the set like that. Top marks.

Was good to see the Miles/Keiko relationship improving during his possession.

[daf]

114 | "Power Play"



Glow-Ball Warning

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• Buffetty Shuttle Storm
• The Old Turbo-lift Com-badge ruse
• Worf-baiting Wise-Guy Data
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• Mean Mr Miles
• Picard's Floating Neck-Squidger
• Percolating Penal Pea-souper
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[mothman]

The Essex was established early on (albeit non-canonically) to be Daedalus-class, which itself was subsequently retconned to be the bulwark of Starfleet's operations during the Romulan War in the 2160s, so it's consistent for once.

[MojoJojo]

The double handed punch is the real hallmark of Federation kung-fu. It's all over DS9, but good to see it get an early showing in TNG here. Rewatched some Lower Decks last night, Ransom actually calls out "Double handed punch!" at one point.

I'd forgotten this episode when I saw the DS9 episode with Keiko getting possessed by the Pah Wraith. It feels like this episode must have inspired that one - it's a big coincidence otherwise - but I can think of any actual references between them.

[Lemming]

S05E16 - Ethics

When Worf receives life-changing injuries, he intends to commit assisted suicide, and he selects Riker to be the one to aid him.

- Geordi's loading some barrels onto a shelf. If anything goes wrong now, it's all his fault.

- Yep - Geordi's inferior stacking technique causes the barrels to fall, crushing Worf. He awakens in sickbay later to be informed that he's now paralysed from a broken spine. Bev smiles while informing him of this life-shattering news.

- Here comes DR RUSSELL, a shit-hot medical doctor who's stolen Hillary Clinton's hair. I know I whine about this a lot, and that it's besides the point, but - where the fuck are we, that random experts can just beam aboard at a moment's notice? We're meant to be on a "continuing mission" to explore uncharted space!

- Worf's depression worsens massively when Riker swaggers into sickbay with his trademark shitfaced grin. Worf informs Riker that his paralysis is permanent. It's been three days since his diagnosis! Picard already knew since he mentioned it in his log, why didn't he tell Riker?

- THE BOMBSHELL: Worf asks Riker to help him perform THE HEGH'BAT. This will require Riker to bring Worf a stupid traditional dagger so that he can stab himself to death. Riker rejects the idea, and Worf complains that it's the only way as his life is now OVER since his spine's all fucky.

- Dr Russell is having a great time roasting Klingon anatomy for being ridiculous. Turns out Klingons have a ton of backup organs, which is counterproductive since it just means more things can go tits up. Russell is psyched about this groovy device she's got that can replicate a new spinal column for Worf. It's never been done before, and according to simulations, has a 37% chance of success. Bev rubbishes it.

- A Cardassian transport ship has flown into a GRAVITIC MINE, and now hundreds of people are all shitted up. Bev prepares to turn half the ship into a triage centre.

- Riker makes the terrible mistake of admitting that he doesn't really buy the whole cultural relativism thing in front of Picard. Cue a lecture about how Riker needs to broaden his cultural horizons and accept that stabbing disabled people to death is an idea worthy of respect. Picard tells Riker to kill Worf if he likes. Interesting to think about the legality of this in the Federation - euthanasia/assisted suicide could/would obviously be legal, but fulfilling someone's request to die for a non-terminal, non-life-threatening condition? Is it up to Picard's discretion? If someone professes a desire to commit suicide while aboard the Enterprise, is there any mechanism in place to try and prevent that, or can Picard just say "yeah go for it mate, we'll even help you with that"?

- Troi's babysitting Alexander. Worf won't let Alexander see him because of the UNFATHOMABLE DISHONOUR of not being able to move his legs.

TROI: Come here. He's been injured, and he's embarrassed. And to have anyone see him now would make him feel worse, even if it were you.
ALEXANDER: This is part of that Klingon stuff, isn't it. My mother always said that Klingons had a lot of dumb ideas about honour.
TROI: Alexander, that Klingon stuff is very important to your father.
ALEXANDER: Well, it isn't very important to me. I don't care about being Klingon, I just want to see my father.

Alexander and Riker are absolutely tearing shit up today! Klingon culture's getting a battering!

- Troi goes to Worf and tells him to stop being such a prat re: Alexander. "Maybe it's time you stopped lying here worrying about your honour, and started thinking about someone else, like your son," she tells him. Another brutal blow against Klingon culture, it's open season!

- Bev comes to Worf and tries to sell him on these crappy implant things that'll let him regain "60 to 70 percent" of his mobility. Lame! He gets wired up to some janky thing that barely lets him move his leg at all. Worf decides that he will NOT BE SEEN LURCHING THROUGH CORRIDORS, and rejects Bev's idea. Russell swoops in like a vulture to tell him about the cool replicated spine idea.

- Bev's in a mood and takes Russell aside to complain.

CRUSHER: I thought we had discussed genetronics.
RUSSELL: We did.
CRUSHER: I also thought we'd decided against recommending it.
RUSSELL: You heard him. He'd rather die than live with the implants. I just gave him a better option than suicide.
CRUSHER: He's grasping for straws and you're giving him one. Now instead of dealing with his paralysis, he's going to be thinking about this miracle cure of yours.
RUSSELL: There's a real chance this could work. And if it does, it'll be a major breakthrough in neurogenetics that will change a lot of people's lives.
CRUSHER: You're using the desperation of an injured man as an excuse to try a procedure that you couldn't do under normal circumstances. I checked with Starfleet Medical. They have turned down your request to test genetronics on humanoids three times already.
RUSSELL: Are you really going to hide behind the rules of some bureaucracy? Beverly, your patient's life is at stake here.

I really like this because it's a relatively rare scene in TNG where there's a debate where both sides are equally agreeable and disagreeable. I'm with Russell in the end though, 37% chance of success is better than 100% chance of suicide, right.

- Worf is standing with Bev's Shitty Leg Things, so he lets Alexander come to see him. He collapses to the ground mid-conversation, experiencing CRUSHING DISHONOUR. With DISHONOUR levels reaching critical, Alexander is sent out again.

- In the Bev Triage Centre, a ton of people have unconvincing rubber injuries stuck to their bodies. One of Russell's patients died from an experimental treatment she tried on him. Bev is pissed about MEDICAL ETHICS again. Alright, I'm on Russell's side re: the Worf thing, but how the fuck is she still allowed to practice medicine after shit like this?! Bev kicks her out of the Bev Triage Centre.

- Picard swings by to try and convince Bev to let Russell go ahead with the wacky spine replacement plan. Riker goes to check on Worf, with the BIG DAGGER and the CEREMONIAL SHEET necessary to perform the ceremony. But then he tells Worf that the ritual is a pack of horseshit and that he's not going to have anything to do with it.

- Riker brings up previous deaths - including Tasha Yar, and Marla Aster, from "The Bonding". And also someone called Sandoval, wonder if she had any relation to the hilarious colonist leader from TOS's "This Side of Paradise". "WE'VE ACHIEVED NOTHING HERE!"

- In a once in a lifetime moment of being switched-on and cool, Riker continues his epic assault on Worf's entire value system by revealing that he's found a Fun Fact about the suicide ritual - he can't actually do what Worf's asking. It's meant to be done by a family member, which means Alexander should be the one helping Worf die.

RIKER: That's an excuse. What you really mean is it would be too hard for you to look at your son and tell him to bring you the knife. Watch you stab it into your heart, then pull the knife from your chest and wipe your blood on his sleeve. That's the rite of death, isn't it? Well, I'm sorry, Mister Worf. I can't help you. There's only one person on this ship who can.

- Later, Alexander shows up. Worf tells him that he's decided not to kill himself, and that he's going to go along with Russell's madcap spine-duplicating scheme. HONOUR fills the room.

- As Worf gets ready to enter surgery, he asks Troi to take care of Alexander in the event of his death, as she possesses GREAT HONOUR or something like that. Really nice callback to Troi helping Worf in the previous Alexander episodes.

- Those really fucking stupid surgical suits from season two are back. So ridiculous that you can't even focus on the scene. They look like human-sized chess pieces.

- Really really long surgery scene where it keeps going "oOOOOOoooOoh his heart's stopped no wait now it's back OoOoOOh hang on there mate his organs are shutting down no wait it's alright OOOH 'KIN 'ELL he's rejecting the spine but it's fine now", etc.

- Surgery is a runaway success, to the point that by the next episode, you won't even be able to tell Worf was ever injured. Great for syndication! Bev is sulking like a small child and giving Russell the silent treatment, then gives her a ton of shit about medical ethics. Just salty that she didn't come up with the spine thing herself, you see.

- Worf still can't walk properly and is falling over like a dumbass, but it's ok now, because he's realised that there's nothing DISHONOURABLE in needing help.

Great work from Dorn (as always), plus Frakes and Sirtis. All scenes with them are great, Riker finally snapping and admitting that he can't live up to the Federation's ideal of cultural relativism - or whatever you'd call it - in this case is very cathartic (as long as you happen to agree with him, I suppose), Dorn manages to infuse Worf with nuance as usual, and every scene with Troi succeeds in getting the emotional impact it's going for.

The script does try its best to give all arguments here two sides. Picard's defence of the suicide ritual seems pretty in-character and believable - I think it's disagreeable* but for once we get a debate where both sides feel realistic and fleshed out.

*and maybe he does too, since he ditches it as soon as he gets wind of the RussellTech Spine-Spawner 3000

On the bad side: the Russell and Bev plot doesn't really work - other than the part I singled out earlier, it's pretty blunt. When Russell kills the guy in the triage centre and gives the ridiculous line about "gathering valuable data", it removes any ambiguity and we go back to the usual caricature type of character that shows up in too many Star Trek episodes.

The surgery scene is boring, goes on for like 5 minutes or something, and it's a waste of time - yeah, we're really sat here wondering if Worf will permanently die in the middle of season five.

Also, not knocking the episode for this because I'm generally the world's most ardent supporter of episodic TV, but it does feel a bit cheap that, as far as I remember, there's literally no aftershock from this episode at all. People tend to give Voyager shit for having no continuity but it has way more than TNG on the whole, and this is a standout example of something that should at least have been mentioned in subsequent episodes. Even if it was just Worf wearing those support bands to aid his recovery for the next couple episodes, or a single line about how his legs aren't still totally back to normal, something like that. Again, I'm the last person on Earth to complain about episodic TV, but it's a big missed opportunity not to have this come up once or twice more, especially since Worf gets another dose of character development right at the end when he accepts Alexander's help.

6/10 but it's a high 6.

[Blumf]

Was a genius move by Worf, asking Riker to help kill him, guaranteeing that by the end of the episode he'd not only still be alive, but also healthy.

Also, I like the surgical scrubs.

[daf]

115 | "Ethics"



Let's Do The Spine Worf Again!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Highlights :
• The Poker Peeking Sketch
• Geordi's Oscar-winning "Heavy Barrel" acting
• Worf : Legless and Pissed
• Horrific Prickly Klingon Death Knife
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other Bits :
• Russell Banned
• Scarlet Surgeon Snoods
• Brainzap Bev's Flatline Freakout
• Bonus Backup Body Boot-up
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Score :

[Mr Trumpet]

Speaking of continuity, this would have been a great story to bring back Pulaski for. Would have been a more interesting medical dilemma if our two established doctors were at odds over the issue.

[Wonderful Butternut]

A bit like Satie, I don't mind that Dr. Death is a caricature. It works for the purposes of the story. There is intentionally little to no ambiguity about her methods being wrong (although the patient she experimented on was completely fucked anyway - she didn't Crell Moset a healthy patient), and no 'two sides' aspect to it. Even though the surgery is ultimately successful, it's only because Worf is resilient enough to survive it, and there isn't a happy ending where everyone congratulates Russell on her excellent scientific breakthrough over drinks in Ten Forward. She's still wrong and Crusher tells her that in as many words. The 'lesson' is you can't cheat, even if it works once. Russell being a fucking wagon works in that context.

The assisted suicide thread is more ambiguous to me. Worf, by the standards of a Klingon, no longer has a quality of life with 70% mobility. To a human that's complete wank, but is it really up to Riker to tell Worf that his culture is wank and he has no right to terminate his life if that's what he wants? I'm inclined to lean towards no, honestly.

That Alexander is supposed to do it (hard time believing that Klingon culture prevents Worf from picking up the space telephone to Kurn for this, btw) feels like a convenient get out for Riker, and had it been his role, I reckon he still wouldn't have helped Worf kill himself.

Speaking of continuity, this would have been a great story to bring back Pulaski for. Would have been a more interesting medical dilemma if our two established doctors were at odds over the issue.

Interesting idea, but you have to make one of the 'good guys' look like a turd for it to have any real impact.

[Lemming]

I reckon Riker's well within his rights to tell Worf what he thinks about the ritual and to refuse to take part in it, but actually preventing Worf from killing himself is more murky. Interestingly the episode doesn't really seem to make it clear what Worf's rights are in this situation - Picard never suggests that he has the authority to prevent the ritual from taking place, and the only indication that anyone has the ability to do anything to actively stop Worf is when Bev says she'll keep him restrained/observed in sickbay indefinitely. So maybe Bev has the authority to put him on suicide watch if she really wants to, but everyone agrees that it's not a good idea.

Alexander does feel like a little bit of an escape route to prevent Riker having to take a final stand on the issue. I wonder if Jeremy Aster would have worked better, since he's technically Worf's brother/next of kin now or something since he was inducted into the House of Mogh. Still has the same result of Worf not being able to go through with it, but perhaps feels a little bit more narratively satisfying since it's more of a clever loophole for Riker to find, and is a nice callback to anyone who remembers The Bonding (which, strangely enough, is referenced here via Marla Aster, but there's no mention of Jeremy. Maybe he's off the ship by this point).

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

The thing is that technically Worf is stabbing himself. The ritual requires that a family member (son?) brings you the knife because cultural significance. Picard is very very big on bodily autonomy and per this episode, that extends to the decision to end one's own life. He also understands that Riker has to make his own decision about being a part of that.

[MojoJojo]

I skipped this because I remembered it as boring. After this discussion I went back to it.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something a bit annoying about it. I think it's because Worf's decision to have the dangerous surgery is an unsatisfying way for him to develop. It's supposed to be a big thing that he's abandoning tradition for Alexander's sake and not committing suicide - but he's choosing surgery that will kill him or fix him instead! Why wouldn't he take it? Klingons aren't Jehovahs witnesses, he had a problem with being crippled, not surgery. It's not a resolution to the question presented.

Add to that the comedy villain doctor saving the day. Despite Crusher giving them the smack down, it's another unsatisfying resolution.