Football Thread 2021/22: pre-seasons in the abyss

[Thursday]

No Atalanta, you're supposed to keep defending in injury time.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oh ffffffffss

[chveik]

i'd gladly chip in for someone to give a career-ending injury to this rapist scum

[Kankurette]

When Ronaldo painted over the cracks
You couldn't see them for goals
One goal here and one goal there
United fans facepalming everywhere

De Gea was flapping his hands again
Fernandes was on the floor
You never saw such a hopeless manager keeping his job before...

[druss]

Yes Ronaldo, lets keep the Ole dream alive for a bit longer.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Well Ronalado done it,
Man Utd won it,
With Gary Neville clucking all the while,
Fergie's tragic illness made us smile,
Wayne Rooney lay unconscious on the bar-room tile.

Talkin' Football
Jadon Sancho's agent
Talkin' Football
Wan-Bissaka's haircut

Solksjaer's grotesquely swollen Shaw
Slabhead and his run in with the law
We're talking Pogba, Ole and a draw

[Ignatius_S]

it's a good appointment for sure but what's with the length? i'm assuming that's coming from Conte rather than Spurs?

18 months with an option to extend.

[DrGreggles]

Some surprising (and unsurprising) stuff here:
https://www.football365.com/news/top-ten-premier-league-net-spend-since-summer-2019

[Mobius]

Arsenal are terrible at getting money for anyone for years. We let so many guys contracts run down. I still can't believe we got 30 mill for Iwobi.

Not surprised to see Chelsea and Liverpool not on there, as they seem quite good at getting decent money for squad players and reserves.

[Kankurette]

Being forced to play the kids really paid off for Chelsea. Makes a change from loaning them off somewhere.

Genuinely surprised Everton aren't in there but maybe they've learned the hard way that flinging money around doesn't always work. Lol at Sheffield United being ninth.

[JamesTC]

Emery reportedly turning down Newcastle and Eddie Howe now in the frame. Going down.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Emery reportedly turning down Newcastle and Eddie Howe now in the frame. Going down.

Excellent news! See what happens in January when no star players want to join a doomed 19th placed club with Taliban owners and a manager with no profile outside England (and even then a rather stale one)

[Twonty Gostelow]

Sounds like a case of someone at the club not being able to keep their mouth shut and name-dropping at too early a stage in negotiations.

Lee Charnley's still there, isn't he? Bet he's very anxious to show the new owners he's worth keeping on.

[Inspector Norse]

Edited because I just realised his Twitter account was fake, but in any case I keep getting him mixed up with Lee Carsley.

[Gusty OWindflap]

Conte has said he will remould Tottenham entirely in his image. I am buzzing! COYFS!

[Twonty Gostelow]

According to The Chronicle, Newcastle's bull-in-a-china-shop approach and media leaks put the kybosh on Emery. https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/unai-emery-newcastles-interest-viral-22051702

"Indeed, Marca's [Spanish newspaper] Fernando Alvarez wrote this morning: 'Emery had lived the last 24 hours with suffocating pressure and it was something he did not like.
The constant leaks had put the coach in the eye of the hurricane before a key game in Villarreal's future season.
In fact, if the result had not been a victory, the coach's image would have suffered a significant reduction in his popularity at Villarreal.
The Basque coach did not like how the English media were giving details and airing rumours or false news, such as video conference meetings or that it was decided that he would train on Thursday at St. James Park or that on Saturday he would sit on the bench for the black and white team in the game against Brighton.'"

[Captain Z]

I'm tryna run a high class club de futbol, not some two-bit Ant & Dec takeaway on Geordie Shore!

[JamesTC]

Spurs have given Pochettino, Mourinho, Nuno and Conte contracts to manage them until 2023.

[imitationleather]

I'm tryna run a high class club de futbol, not some two-bit Ant & Dec takeaway on Geordie Shore!

These gags are why we need Emery back in the Premier League by hook or by crook.

[Gusty OWindflap]

Spurs have given Pochettino, Mourinho, Nuno and Conte contracts to manage them until 2023.

And when they all get sacked after 20 matches there'll be Timothy Sherwood to save the season.

[Kankurette]

So basically the press jumped the gun and assumed Emery would be managing Newcastle this weekend, even though Emery himself said no such thing?

[phantom_power]

I think it is more someone at Newcastle jumped the gun and leaked the information before the deal was done. Meanwhile Emery got a hint of the shitshow that is Newcastle and the media surrounding them and back into the hedge

[imitationleather]

You'd think after a couple of years of having every aspect of his being dismantled on Arsenal Fan TV he'd be used to toxic fanbase sideshows.

[chveik]

yeah the guy needs to stay out of England and keep winning those EL trophies that big club's supporters pretend to not be interested in

[Gusty OWindflap]

Or maybe AFTV taught him all he needs to know about supporters in the premier league and why he shouldn't come back for his own health.

[imitationleather]

John stones with a beaut of an own goal there. Bounced right in off his face.

[imitationleather]

Cor. That Atletico shirt is quite the eyesore.

[bgmnts]

Beautiful own goal for City.

The Liverpool game is about to get nasty as fuck probably.

[Chollis]

Atletico game is great. Ref just straight redding people for dissent

[bgmnts]

Atletico game is great. Ref just straight redding people for dissent

Radio is insistent that Felipe was straight redded for the cynical challenge itself. Which would be interesting if true, as you rarely see that.