Cricket 2021: Paedoph with the England test team

[iamcoop]

Fun and games aside it's thoroughly depressing how even if we bowled them out now I wouldn't even expect us to be able to chase 100 with three days left.

Ben Stokes' bat & ball bongo indeed.

[poo]

Shittest cunts in the history of the universe

[imitationleather]

Having a good old gloat at my mate who only yesterday was crowing about how we were gonna smash New Zealand.

I was like, "Mate, have you never watched cricket before or something?"

[Crenners]

One million paedophiles.

[Mr Eggs]

Live Laugh Love Platty Jubb Bollocks all day yesterday on TMS was a hard listen.

[iamcoop]

There are

One million paedophiles.

in St John's Wood

That's a fact

[shoulders]

Insane we are going to leave this test still focusing on bowling failures when they out us in position to be dominant and in control of the test.

[Inspector Norse]

Think Colin de Grandhomme borrowed a laptop from one of the English lads to pass time during the rain delay.

[Inspector Norse]

Holy moly

I mean NZ have already won this by 200 runs but still.

[sevendaughters]

The waft of hope that makes the final cuntdown all the harsher and yet gives the blazers a chance to say we were in it.

[badaids]

The rozzers ask Broad to turn out his pockets and find one solitary but incredible picture of Anne Margaret with her legs akimbo amongst all the kiddie filth.

[jobotic]

For fucks sake. Vaughany's back.

[shoulders]

Glad the bowlers have turned that around because this result is in no way their fault and the continual urge to blame them when our batting side literally can't even score 150 runs half the time is really infuriating.

[shoulders]

Anderson, 6 wickets for 123
Broad, 4 for 101
Potts, 7 for 68

'Lack of x factor'

[Mr Eggs]

Here we go!

[iamcoop]

That's got to be it for Lees.

Being on a register is one thing but it's £20 for under 16's at Lord's today and if the MCC keep insisting on playing with fire then someone's gonna get burned.

[Mr Eggs]

For fucks sake. Vaughany's back.

Don't worry, they had a bit about inclusivity at the tea interval on day 1.
All the racism has gone away now.

[iamcoop]

He went on a course as well so he's good to go now.

[shoulders]

Bin the cunts
Bin the cunts
Bin the cunts

[sevendaughters]

Death to Pope.

[shoulders]

Anyone got Root's batting average in 4th innings chases?

[iamcoop]

Pope at 3 🤣

[Inspector Norse]

Anyone got Root's batting average in 4th innings chases?

Not great, low 30s with no centuries.

Can't really blame him when he's spent his entire career batting with these oafs.

[sevendaughters]

Barstow done by one on the stumps shocker.

[iamcoop]

Comfortably the worst test side in my lifetime.

At least during our 90s nadir we had a bit of fight about us.

[Inspector Norse]

Not great, low 30s with no centuries.

Then again, I just looked up Bairstow's fourth innings average and it's less than 22, with a single 50 in 25 innings. Fucking failure of evolution.

Comfortably the worst test side in my lifetime.

At least during our 90s nadir we had a bit of fight about us.

There were at least enough good players in the '90s to make a proper test side, they were just hopelessly mismanaged. This current lot are just a joke.

Does anyone really think you couldn't swap out Lees, Crawley, Pope and Bairstow for any four players - not even specialist batters - plucked at random from the Championship, and the side wouldn't do at least as well?

[sevendaughters]

Fraser, Gough, Cork, and Caddick never played in the same side together either. All under 30 bowlers. Awful management.

[sevendaughters]

I've started a new thread a little prematurely but can be a good place to perform a bitter postmortem/praise the surprise victory.