Doctor Who Series 13: Goodbye, Mr. Chibs

[frajer]

Plays like a home invasion or something. Maybe Dan goes back to his lounge and there's a Sontaran pissing on his rug.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

God, I'm really going to miss Bradley Walsh. He can actually act.

I thought Bishop was fine in that scene. No idea if he can handle drama, though.

[Midas]

i suspect he'll get another knock at the door.

he'll angrily open it and be like "i thought i told you to go away!!!"

but he'll freeze

and stare in awe

at dog man with his caravan.

[canted_angle_again]

Ballad is actually Russell T Davies in disguise. We all have our fantasies.

I always thought he was Charlie Brooker for some reason.

[The Roofdog]

Even the most basic thing - a silly throwaway scene - is bungled by this team of idiots. You don't play that kind of sinister music under such broad comedy or it completely kills the joke. Such a basic thing, so how can these people not understand that?

It's building up to a third knock where there's something nasty at the door. Which still raises the question why the fuck release it like this

[Tikwid]

Everything about that synopsis screams 'perfunctory Doctor Who AI generator'

Took that as a challenge and I think these are genuine improvements:

Episode 2: WAR OF THE SONTARANS (1980) (Episode #2)

SYNOPSIS:

The first part of the two part story of WAR OF THE SONTARANS.  The
story starts with a young man who has just joined the Earth
Sentinels. He is brought to Raxus Prime to see what will become
of the planet which has so much of life and humanity on it.
Meanwhile, on the moon of Raxus, a deadly enemy has been
concealed, awaiting its opportunity to attack. And it is this
concealed enemy that is about to give the humans a major shock,
and make sure that this world is kept alive, and will eventually
be a great force for the good of both Sontar and Earth.

Episode 2: WAR OF THE SONTARANS

Synopsis: The Doctor and Clara reunite and attempt to investigate a case that's all over the media: a new strain of the Sontaran virus is killing humans, and it's being broadcast live on a YouTube livestream.

Episode 2: WAR OF THE SONTARANS

Synopsis: In the most horrifically inappropriate television serial of all time, The Doctor regenerates into a strange, bald, middle-aged man! But before long, it becomes clear that, despite the apparent demise of his new exterior, the Sixth Doctor still hasn't abandoned his many faults... and will be wreaking devastation as old as time itself on the whole universe. The "children of Time and Space" are his allies, and some of his deadliest enemies. But who's he got lined up for his comeback show? Will Missy make an appearance? Will the Doctor and Rose fall for each other in the last episode? Will his quest lead to some of the biggest and greatest secrets that have ever been? All of this and more! Also: lots of Time Lords, many very-very clever Daleks, a terrifying Dalek-monster the Eighth Doctor was really disappointed not to encounter on Capaldi's Christmas specials, the return of the GELF soldiers, the TARDIS being split into two pieces and Rose getting stuck in two different rooms with different time-line variants of herself, and a much-talked-about Time Lordsaurus dinosaur and some sort of massive metal dog.

I say it every time it happens but, this is the best season yet.

[Alberon]

First appearance of Dan so Chibnall thinks let's put it up there as a teaser, despite it being a nothing in of itself.

Yet at the same time there's no previous of the first episode? I can understand doing that for a last episode, but the first?

I don't know what is worst, this being part of Chibnall's marketing masterplan or cold feet from the BBC.

I see the first episode is going out at 6.25pm on Sunday, wasn't it originally scheduled later or have I misremembered that?

[mothman]

I'm sure I saw it was going to be on at half eight, so you're not alone in thinking that.

[Replies From View]

Bizarre, isn't it? The scene itself isn't exactly rib-tickling, but it does at least revolve around a coherent comic conceit. Which is actually quite remarkable for a scene written by Chibnall.

Well, it's entirely lifted from an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, isn't it.

https://youtu.be/AUdfdzm0EpU

[Mister Six]

It's building up to a third knock where there's something nasty at the door. Which still raises the question why the fuck release it like this

Well, yeah, exactly. I was a bit thrown when it was just egg bloke, thought, "Oh, I expected Chibnall to just jump straight to the Sontarans, but fair play maybe a sixth former told him about the rule of threes recently and he's giving it a go," and then... logo.

What?! Absolutely bizarre.

[Mister Six]

and a much-talked-about Time Lordsaurus dinosaur and some sort of massive metal dog.

Actually, yeah, that sounds great.

[mothman]

Ah, those Scousers, they're all such lovable scamps and chancers... is what the international audience will take away from that sneak peek.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Well, it's entirely lifted from an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, isn't it.

https://youtu.be/AUdfdzm0EpU

Oh yeah, of course.

[Ron Maels Moustache]

Textsynth once again outdoes Chibnall's storytelling capabilities.

Episode 1: The Halloween Apocalypse

The Doctor goes to a time when he is still human. But it is Halloween and time is on his side. The Doctor arrives in the town of Whitby, Yorkshire, on Christmas Eve, 1955. The TARDIS lands in the garden of Professor Harold Saxon, a famous and reclusive scientist. As Professor Saxon is in the middle of making a dangerous experiment, he goes missing.

The Doctor meets Clara Oswald, and they decide to check out the laboratory. Inside they discover a giant egg that has opened in a secret chamber.

In the middle of the lab is a man, who has been transformed into a monster called a Humbug. Clara is unable to wake up Saxon, who is in the control room, using the telepathic helmet which the Doctor had left there earlier. So the Doctor gets everyone else out of the house as fast as he can. He then tries to make his way back to the TARDIS. But a monster, known as the Great Intelligence, is on his way to the TARDIS to stop him.

While the Doctor is trying to escape the monster, Clara gets stuck in a huge pipe. The Doctor tries to rescue Clara, but Saxon has disappeared. He then tries to escape the monster using a giant robot which he has built for this very purpose. The robot is destroyed, the Doctor is cornered, and only Clara's help can save him. She throws a book at the monster, hitting him. It does nothing. Clara tries to wake the professor up with her mind, and succeeds. Saxon tells them that the Great Intelligence wants the world. But Saxon has a plan to defeat him.

Now the Doctor and Clara are back in the TARDIS, just as the monster chases them. He tries to get inside, but the TARDIS is far too powerful for him. The monster starts an avalanche to destroy the TARDIS. The Doctor and Clara take advantage of this to escape

[Kelvin]

It's building up to a third knock where there's something nasty at the door. Which still raises the question why the fuck release it like this

I assumed that was the case when the music got tense before he opened the door for a second time. But if they're going to do it a third time, you still don't play the tense music under the comic mislead, you do it when there's a third knock and he expects the friend but we suspect something else. This just seems basic to me; you don't put tense music under broad comedy, even if you play it before the reveal. It's like the people making it - not just Chibnall - fundamentally don't understand what type of show they're making. 

[Ambient Sheep]

Textsynth once again outdoes Chibnall's storytelling capabilities.

I would quite happily watch that!  Sounds great!

[Mister Six]

Just watched the clip again, and until the bass thumps or whatever they are kick in, it sounds like a Jam sketch.

[Rev+]

Given that this is supposed to be a single story, the descriptions for the first two episodes don't sound particularly cohesive...

It's blatantly a single story in the sense that 'Bad Wolf' was a single story.  Each episode will have different enemies, and there'll be some small reference connecting them that doesn't add up to much.  Then the Master will turn up in the last episode and be behind whatever it was.  There's no way it's anything other than that.

No previews, eh?  Great show of confidence by the BBC, there.  The idea that RTD was pinned to the ground and forced to take the show back on really does seem likely at this point.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

OKAY i've just seen that annabel scholey is going to be in this series. would be surprised if anyone remembers her stint in the first season of being human, but i basically MASSIVELY FANCIED/wanted to be them and have not seen her in anything since so GUESS I'M HYPED

Spoiler alert

for one thing at least

[close]

[Ambient Sheep]

[Posted in error.  Ignore.]

[The Roofdog]

It's blatantly a single story in the sense that 'Bad Wolf' was a single story.  Each episode will have different enemies, and there'll be some small reference connecting them that doesn't add up to much.  Then the Master will turn up in the last episode and be behind whatever it was.  There's no way it's anything other than that.

Yep, I would put money on it being this, nothing more than what RTD & Moffat did for every single season by default. And Chibs acts like he's invented the wheel or something

[Thomas]

[Posted in error.  Ignore.]

Leaked internal memo about Chibnall's posting as showrunner.

[Norton Canes]

The idea that RTD was pinned to the ground and forced to take the show back on saw the catastrophic and irreversible damage Chibnall was doing to his beloved show and begged to be let back really does seem likely at this point.

[olliebean]

TextSynth has the entire series, including an unexpected recasting in episode 3:

Episode 1: THE HALLOWEEN APOCALYPSE
On Halloween, all across the universe, terrifying forces are stirring. From the Arctic Circle to deep space, an ancient evil is breaking free. And in present-day Liverpool, the life of Dan Lewis is about to change forever. Why is the Doctor on the trail of the fearsome Karvanista? And what is the Flux?

Episode 2: WAR OF THE SONTARANS
The Doctor has an unexpected encounter with one of her deadliest enemies when the Sontarans become a new faction in the Crimean War. As the British army goes into pitched battle with the warlike aliens, the Doctor and her companions seek the help of renowned nurse Mary Seacole (Sara Powell), while an ancient temple hides mysterious secrets.

Episode 3: THE SPIDERWEB
The Doctor stumbles across a most unusual corpse on a lonely Welsh beach. Its head has been removed. Could it be a case of mistaken identity? Dan Lewis (Adam James) has been working in Wales as a postman for years, and can't understand how he could be mistaken for the missing headless corpse. Meanwhile, the Doctor must track down the mysterious woman on the beach – or is she tracking her?

Episode 4: AN ENORMOUS MONSTER
The Doctor is about to embark on a thrilling, if deadly, quest when she heads off into the unknown with Dan Lewis (Adam James) and the mysterious woman on the beach (Lisa Greenwood). They arrive at a house in the middle of nowhere – an eerie place with a terrifying history... Could it be a time and space portal to the darkest dimension?

Episode 5: THE FURY
As the Doctor takes her companions to a remote lake, Dan discovers a series of old black-and-white photographs. They're photographs of a giant spider monster. But these photographs are hundreds of years old. Could they be real? Meanwhile, a mysterious force is drawing the attention of a mysterious man.

Episode 6: THE SPARK
The Doctor, Dan, and the mysterious woman set off on a thrilling adventure. The Doctor finds an ancient artefact: the mysterious spark that drives all life. As they journey into the dark, they follow a secret road towards the city of Marinus.

[Huxleys Babkins]

TextSynth has the entire series, including an unexpected recasting in episode 3:

Yaz completely invisible. Just like in real life.

[Replies From View]

Photos that are hundreds of years old (more than 200 anyway) is a far more gripping mystery than anything yet put forth by Chibnall.  I'm not even joking.


AN ENORMOUS MONSTER is an hilarious episode title, as well.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

AN ENORMOUS MONSTER is an hilarious episode title, as well.

titles written by bored copywriters

[Norton Canes]

AN ENORMOUS MONSTER is an hilarious episode title, as well

It was basically the working title for The Power Of Kroll

[olliebean]

Some more speculative episodes, from TextSynth. This could be a great resource for future showrunners:

THE FOURTH SIDE OF THE DOCTOR
The Doctor and the Doctor's son-in-law Tim (Nicholas Burns) head for a remote island to try to find an elusive book – but it turns out to be something more. They discover that the island is connected to Earth... The island has another visitor – and it's a monster!

A TIME TUNNEL TO PARADISE
Tired and cold, the Doctor and Dan end up sleeping in a derelict building with the owner of the island (James Hooton). He reveals the disturbing truth behind the mysterious deaths on the island – and the Doctor must make a choice that will decide her life and the lives of everyone she's ever known.

THE THIRST IS MY FRIEND
The Doctor finds herself lost in a jungle, with a thirst that can't be quenched... She hears an urgent cry for help, but who can she trust when she's starving and desperate? Meanwhile, on the streets of London, Tim meets a girl (Rebecca Front) who's desperate to tell her story... and the pair of them find themselves drawn into the mystery of a man called John.

THE TENTH MAN
The Doctor and Dan arrive in London at a time of great change. But is everything really as it seems? Why are people changing? What is changing them? And what is changing The Doctor?

THE FUTURE BEGINS
The Doctor is a Time Lady now, and the future is about to start. The Doctor must set everything right – and in so doing, she might also destroy everything she loves. A story that's all about change.

THE DAY OF THE CYCLE
The Doctor travels to a world under threat. As the time storm sweeps over it, the TARDIS crew have to race against time to save the planet – and find out why time itself is changing.

THE CLOSET OF DR SEUSS
The Doctor meets one of history's most twisted characters: a man who took his ideas, twisted them, and turned them into something horrifying.

[Ron Maels Moustache]

God, this is addictive!

Episode 3: THE MUMMY'S TEETH
It's the year 1873, and the Doctor, Jack and Rose arrive in Cairo to meet a mysterious Egyptian doctor who may hold the secret to the mummy mystery. While the Doctor investigates, her companions try to get back home before winter descends, but the Doctor soon finds her old friend is back from the dead – and he has quite a lot of information for her to chew on.

The AI has mastered puns, amazing!

Episode 4: THE HUNDRED LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA
On the planet Vulcan, a group of alien invaders is trying to capture three human captives. The trio are rescued by the Doctor's former companion, the Ice Warrior K-9, who has become sentient. To save the girl, the Doctor enlists the help of one of her greatest adversaries – Captain Nemo, the first human to set sail the seas of the Pacific Ocean.

Episode 5: BLOODSTONE CROSSING
The Doctor, Jack and Rose travel back to 1914, where they meet the notorious killer Captain Jack Harkness. They soon learn that the Doctor's oldest and closest friend has embarked on a quest for a mysterious "stone of power" that he is convinced will bring about the end of the world.

Episode 6: PICTURES OF A FORGOTTEN PLANET
Rose and the Doctor visit a house in Cornwall where an alien being lives with a cat. After a brief visit, the being sends the Doctor into the past where she discovers that the future she travelled to is being threatened by the arrival of a mysterious enemy, who may change the course of human history.

Episode 7: TURIN MAN
It's 1882, and the Doctor and her companions have an adventure in the industrial town of Turin, Italy. They are soon drawn into a deadly web of double-dealing spies and revolutionaries, which involves old enemies such as The Great Intelligence and the Master.

Episode 8: BABYLON 5
The Doctor, Rose and Captain Jack arrive in a dystopian future, where society is built on the premise that man must be destroyed. There are no laws, no democracy and no free will. Every morning, the population rises, performs a meaningless and repetitive task, then is returned to their sleep chambers.

Satire, etc.

"Pictures Of A Forgotten Planet" is genuinely a brilliant title for something or other.

Episode 9: THE WILD SEAS
The Doctor, Jack and Rose go to a planet where a strange and powerful force is at work. They investigate a temple in the heart of a living mountain. While inside, they find an extraordinary civilisation. Before they can uncover the secret, they are interrupted by a deadly being that leaves them in no doubt that they have failed.

Episode 10: THE LEAKERS
The Doctor, Rose and Jack find themselves in the middle of a struggle for survival in the distant future. The story takes place on the planet Trenzalore, where the Valeyard and the Doctor's friends decide to fight for the soul of Gallifrey. The Valeyard has a plan to make sure he survives to live happily ever after, and it's not the plan the Doctor has in mind for Rose and Jack.

Episode 11: A SINGLE BIRTHDAY
The Eleventh Doctor and Rose travel to the planet Christmas, in a faraway future, where an enormous space egg faces imminent destruction. The Doctor and Rose must help to stop this catastrophe, and they soon discover the truth behind the Doctor's life story.

Episode 12: DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS
The Doctor and Rose, along with Santa Claus, make a trip to last Christmas to help an old friend. They must fight against an alien invasion to save Christmas.

AI starting to run out steam at this point, like a showrunner on their seventh season.