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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

Started by The Mollusk, August 23, 2021, 07:16:40 AM

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This tickled me, in the "pint for 6p" thread.

Quote from: Butchers Blind on May 29, 2022, 09:54:43 AM"Hello. I'd like the 6p pint, please. 1952"

*barmaid pours pint from run off tray*


Quote from: Proactive on May 28, 2022, 05:50:23 PMI've got a few examples but I haven't really got the time to recount them now as we're expecting a visit any minute from the local (especially uptight) vicar whom we're hoping will agree to marry us at his church, my bank manager to talk about a loan to fund it, and my former Army Major to discuss whether I need to re-enlist because I accidentally left a year early due to an administrative error and nobody noticed until now. It might seem odd having them all round at the same time but I'm on a tight schedule as I'm also due a visit five minutes after they leave by my fiercely anti-establishment, flamboyantly gay, drug addicted identical twin brother who I won't get to see for a while as he's due to go into a psychiatric facility because he believes he's Jesus. Yes, I think I've definitely got the timing of everything right so it should all go off without a hitch and I'll come back afterwards to tell you about the times I experienced some comedy clichés in real life.


Blue Jam

Quote from: flotemysost on May 26, 2022, 10:31:40 PMI remember the ads of my childhood,
Simple facts on which you could depend
There was none of this childish nonsense,
Emails acting as if they're your friend
These days, you turn on the telly
And the snowflakes have taken control
All this "hey, pal!" and "oopsie!" is madness
But maybe I'm just getting old
I can't stand being talked down to,
It's really driving me potty
Anyway, I'd best be off now
Need to plop-plop out of my botty

Oh Christ I am never going to grow up am I




From the footy thread, in response to a Liverpool banner quoting The Killing Moon:
Quote from: Norton Canes on May 29, 2022, 11:59:18 AMSpare us the Courtois
Quote from: Blue Jam on May 29, 2022, 05:48:52 PMOh Christ I am never going to grow up am I
It's the end that makes it.

Mr Farenheit

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 29, 2022, 05:48:52 PMOh Christ I am never going to grow up am I

That's a good'un! I read it to the tune of Celluloid Heroes

Butchers Blind


Pretty standard joke but it's a good un

Quote from: FalknerHinton on May 31, 2022, 01:04:26 PMOh I see, when she lies on a table and shits herself in front of strangers it's "giving birth" and "part of nature's process" but when I do it I'm forbidden from ever setting foot in the Fulchester branch of Pizza Express ever again on pain of a custodial sentence.

Honestly, it's one rule for some...




I love how confused that will make people who aren't keeping up with their potassium intake.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on June 01, 2022, 04:41:47 PM

surely the worst thing about this arrangement is the depiction of a hunt saboteur standing behind her having a wank?

The Dog

Quote from: pancreas on June 02, 2022, 12:12:24 AM'Did Mr Depp ever call you a bitch?'
'No he did not.'
'Did he call you worthless slattern? A roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in its belly?...'

Dex Sawash

Quote from: touchingcloth on June 03, 2022, 05:18:48 PM"It's made of eyeholes, earholes, and arseholes. Except for the eyeholes, earholes, and arseholes, which are all olives."





Haha, cheers! There's something inherently funny about swans!

Unfortunately, this one hasn't reckoned on Hans. Out of the frying pan...


Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on June 05, 2022, 04:00:07 PMeven if she became a robot the lazy bitch would just find a way to catch circuit cancer and use it as an excuse to stay at home watching dalek races
Actually, fuckit, the entire Cunt of Death thread deserves a mention.


Quote from: Replies From View on June 06, 2022, 09:01:10 AMIf I was your boss I would bollock you so hard right now for being an absolute racist

Lovely turn of phrase.


Uncle TechTip

Quote from: Blue Jam on June 06, 2022, 12:00:23 PMFor her Oak Jubilee maybe Phil will give her a nice gift of wood.

Absurdly crude, I love it. Oak Jubilee in itself worth a mention.