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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

Started by The Mollusk, August 23, 2021, 07:16:40 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Blue Jam


idunnosomename

Especially the second verse

Quote from: pancreas on June 05, 2022, 04:32:40 PMGob your phlegm down my forsk, keep me spitty.
Gob your phlegm down my forsk, I pray.
Gob your phlegm down my forsk, keep me spitty.
Keep me spitty till the end of day.

Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown of Clowne!
Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown!

Put a cunt up my arse, keep me crabbing.
Put a cunt up my arse, I'm gay.
Put a cunt up my arse, keep me crabbing.
Keep me crabbing down to Walvis Bay.

Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown of Clowne!
Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown!

Give me Budgie the cumegg humanis,
Kirk the urban fuck noodle too,
Give me Dwimmins the new bunted asswipe,
And the decoy blowjob goblin crew.

Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown of Clowne!
Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown!

I gave seventy-five finger-blastings,
To Pengboten Insane-O-Gash.
Then I milked Mister Bridley for hours,
And I've now got quite a nasty rash.

Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown of Clowne!
Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown!

Strap me into my best dunting cradle,
Screw me onto my sluicing clamp,
Dilde me sweetly in my sissy basket,
Grease my queening stool and make me damp.

Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown of Clowne!
Sing Boswego! Sing Boswego!
Sing Boswego to the Clown!
28 years old i am

Quote from: wrec on June 06, 2022, 02:52:24 PMNote that at least one of the patrons seems to think the Ted musical is something they'll get to "watch", presumably from the discomfort of their now unheated home. Considering how stumped he is for content, my dream of a Mess table read may soon come true.

Funny out of context, absolutely hilarious if you keep up with the threads.

jenna appleseed


shoulders


Mister Six

In the thread about a CaBber being mistaken for a racist due to a seemingly innocuous remark about Muslim-only charities at work:

Quote from: touchingcloth on June 06, 2022, 10:17:46 AMI've just raised Ike's comments in a meeting at work. We have "volunteer days" where you are allowed to spend a working day each month helping out with charity or community projects. I mentioned that there is this charity which only helps the Muslims, and I suggested that it would be nice if we thought about ways we could help everyone except the Muslims. There was a very noisy reaction to my proposal, and like Ike I was also invited to have a meeting with my manager, the CEO, and a local police constable specialising in anti-racism measures. I can't flesh out the details just yet as I'm about to go into the meeting, but when I've finished with them congratulating me (maybe suggesting I head up the company's volunteer days? Or that I do more than one day each month?) I'll give you more specifics about how I worded things in this morning's meeting and it might give you some ideas, Ike, about why your comments backfired so horribly.

pancreas


canadagoose


Famous Mortimer

Re: the Isle of Man TT race.

Quote from: robhug on June 08, 2022, 03:36:15 PMive thought about the proximity to little cottages too. if you owned one of these you could be innocently having a tug in the privacy of your own garden then bam a headless leathered warm twitching corpse could land at your feet, put you right off. You'd have to venture indoors to finish.

buttgammon

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on June 08, 2022, 04:24:30 PMRe: the Isle of Man TT race.


That whole thread is great. I actually know a bloke who's at the TT now so I'll be thinking of it when (if?) he gets back.

Blue Jam



Kankurette

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on June 09, 2022, 03:47:43 PMI hope she gets run over by a steamroller and survives. At 96. And lives for many years after. Is that the kind of sadism you're into you massive deviant
And this exchange between VGF and Blue Jam in the same thread:
Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on June 09, 2022, 03:49:21 PMthe remains of throbbing gristle can reform and do Steamroller Lady on her 100 birthday
Quote from: Blue Jam on June 09, 2022, 05:03:40 PMThat's not a nice way to refer to Prince Philip.

buttgammon

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on June 10, 2022, 04:21:08 PMControversial libertarian gubernatorial candidate PAC MAN and his beautiful award winning wife THE BEATLES


shoulders

Not like Tony Yeboah to be into the risqué humour, reappraisal due.

jenna appleseed

Quote from: frajer on June 08, 2022, 10:42:19 AMAh yeah the alt-right brigade, famous for their great sense of humour and being able to laugh at themselves.

Literally every comment I've seen left on MN and under the Mess is the most humourless example of humanity I have ever seen. They seem to know humour exists in the same way that a beta test android does.

"I heard a wonderful joke the other day. It began with a horse walking into a wine bar. And horses are known for their large, long faces. And it definitely should not have been in there. So I presume they had it shot? Anyway, very very funny."

Mentally reading the joke at the end in the voice of Prince Charles.

Uncle TechTip

Yeah I'll nominate that post saying "don't mention the miscarriages" as the one that made me laugh the most this week

Kankurette

How many TERFs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Quote from: Jumblegraws on June 11, 2022, 02:40:33 PMTwo - one to take the new bulb away from a trans person, the other to claim they were just protecting their flex-based lights

dontpaintyourteeth

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on June 12, 2022, 03:41:07 AMHeathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy
I've come home, I'm so cold
Let me in your pub window
Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy
I've come home, I'm so cold
Twat your bike through my window



Twit 2

Quote from: Sherringford Hovis on June 12, 2022, 04:46:11 PMI imagine most of this sort of thing is done by fearful Uyghur unfortunates for an inadequate ladle of congee these days, sadly.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: FredNurke on June 12, 2022, 01:53:47 PMEddie Valiant getting into a toon cab at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and being driven off to be shot by the IRA.


PlanktonSideburns


Des Wigwam

Quote from: touchingcloth on June 13, 2022, 07:35:22 PMGoogle should tell the engineer that the robot is accusing him of sex crimes, see how long he sticks by saying it's sentient then.

DJ Bob Hoskins

Quote from: Goldentony on June 13, 2022, 01:41:30 AMlisten if computers become boot off merchants im not saying twatting something in is what i'd do im saying in a Sapphire and Steel scenario you'd just twat it in. If you've seen the Forbin Project you'll know nobody just went at it with a big spanner before it started communicating with Russia and ordering pizzas and whatever.

I nearly laughed up a lung at this chilling vision of the future.

canadagoose

Quote from: DJ Bob Hoskins on June 13, 2022, 10:21:54 PMI nearly laughed up a lung at this chilling vision of the future.
Goldentony is often understatedly hilarious. I'd recommend him.

Twit 2

I wouldn't say understated; it's the excessive nature of it that I find hilarious. Most consistently funny poster on CaB for me, Clive.

non capisco

Agreed, one of my favourite posters. Also if he's who I think he is on Twitter he's great on there as well and once posted a joke about Prince's 'Sexy MF' that had me laughing for days (as did ROBOCOP COP COP on here)

Quote from: Twit 2 on June 14, 2022, 04:31:50 PMI wouldn't say understated; it's the excessive nature of it that I find hilarious. Most consistently funny poster on CaB for me, John.