The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

[Kankurette]

If you're a woman he will save the day.
He's tall and he's mardy, come what may.
Without him the ladies would go astray.


He's Graham, Graham, Graham Glinner
Single-handedly made GCs a winner.
He's handsome, trim, and no-one slimmer.
Hate's a brilliant money-spinner


He's Graham, Graham, Graham Glinner,
He just had carbonara for his dinner
When it comes to Internet he's no beginner
Just don't call him a right-winger


Making a Ted musical for you and me,
His command of twitter sock accounts is uncanny
Though he surely isn't going by
@Oliophi


Ask Graham, Graham, Graham Glinner
His eyes have a demonic glimmer
And if you're JK Rowling
Then he just might come around for dinner

[retsuza]

Dunkirk is the annoyance you feel when half your biscuit falls in your tea.

Caught me of guard this one

[Paul Calf]

If you're a woman he will save the day.
He's tall and he's mardy, come what may.
Without him the ladies would go astray.


He's Graham, Graham, Graham Glinner
Single-handedly made GCs a winner.
He's handsome, trim, and no-one slimmer.
Hate's a brilliant money-spinner


He's Graham, Graham, Graham Glinner,
He just had carbonara for his dinner
When it comes to Internet he's no beginner
Just don't call him a right-winger


Making a Ted musical for you and me,
His command of twitter sock accounts is uncanny
Though he surely isn't going by
@Oliophi


Ask Graham, Graham, Graham Glinner
His eyes have a demonic glimmer
And if you're JK Rowling
Then he just might come around for dinner

That's excellent :D

[Sonny_Jim]

'In his bed he's a Grand Prix winner' deserves a special mention as well.

[imitationleather]

'In his bed he's a Grand Prix winner' deserves a special mention as well.

+1

[shoulders]

Oh fuck... I missed that, looks like it was at the bottom of the previous page.

My attempt looks rather like I'm hanging on its coattails now but at the time I thought I was the first to have a crack at it.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

Google should tell the engineer that the robot is accusing him of sex crimes, see how long he sticks by saying it's sentient then.

Hahah that's fantastic

[Fambo Number Mive]

DEL BOY: Look lively, Rodders! I think we've been noticed!

RODNEY: What are you talking about, Del?

DEL BOY: The sort over there with the grey trousers and the white pumps, look!

RODNEY: What, the one with all urine pooling around her feet?

DEL BOY: It might not be URINE, you dipstick. Nahhh, she's probably got a melted Callipo in her pocket or something. Anyway, look at her staring! I'm onto a winner 'ere, bruv.

RODNEY: Look at her sta...? I don't believe you, Derek! She's not staring at us, she's most probably staring at that colossal mushroom cloud that's suddenly dominating the Peckham skyline. It's the apocalypse, Del. The end of days. The Russians have only gone and bloody done it!

DEL: I knew I shouldn't have let you stay up and watch Dr. Strangelove, Rodney. You probably thought it was one of those Channel 4 Red Triangle films, didn't you? You've got nuclear weapons on the brain now, you have. Russians. Give over. Well, I'm gonna try my luck with this bird anyway.

(DEL sidles up to the URINATING WOMAN)

DEL: Bon chance, les miserables! And what might your name me, mon cherie?

UNCLE ALBERT: It's Anne Sellors, Del Boy. Yah, yah. She's only got one iMDB entry, 'Urinating Woman'.

DEL: You'll only have one iMDB entry in a minute, you soppy old goat!

[non capisco]

Interestingly, if you took George's teeth, Morrissey's pretention and Blackburn's cock and mixed them up in a Fly machine you'd get Russell Brand.       

 

[no_offenc]

This killed me

Literally the only good one I've done

[Sonny_Jim]

That Threads/Only Fools crossover is amazing.

EDIT: Also

[Replies From View]

Caught me of guard this one

It's not original:

https://hantsbluepants.com/not-on-your-liff-2/

[imitationleather]

Jaaaaam Dining Experience

double bill with the Bread Dining Experience

[SteveDave]

Did my work experience with a vet when I was 14. Had a great time but did not have sex with any of the animals.

[buttgammon]

I remember reading in the local paper about a house near where I used to live, you know up by the hospital, that was owned by a woman who catered for men who liked to dress as babies. She was busted after the neighbours complained about blokes in nappies playing with a beachball in the back garden.

I'm almost tempted to run this through Dall-E...

[phes]

Only Fools but it's post apocalypse

Everybody's dead Dave

[kalowski]

[Old Thrashbarg]

well over nearly two decades

[TrenterPercenter]

well, over nearly two decades.

No, money down!

(just to be clear I am taking the piss out my own general shit for brains behaviour here)

[Ferris]

[Old Thrashbarg]

No, money down!

(just to be clear I am taking the piss out my own general shit for brains behaviour here)

And also to be clear, I wasn't taking the piss, it just caught me off guard.

[TrenterPercenter]

And also to be clear, I wasn't taking the piss, it just caught me off guard.

Don't worry I live with this brain it is funny.  My partner is constantly laughing at my dyslexic spoonerisms, a couple of days ago I was telling her how I fancied some lamp chops for dinner.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

Lord Lawrence Olivier as "Mrs. Danglebuttocks" in Oi! There's a Bleeding Poof in My Sodding Flat! (1973 - 1973)

[McChesney Duntz]

YES! I have ARRIVED! (That's the polite term for that, right? Excuse me while I find a wet wipe...)

[Sebastian Cobb]

Gruesome Trevor sticks the suction tube of his Henry over his eyeball, which then pops out and bounces down the tube. "I was right, the bag does need changing" he says to no-one in particular.

[Sonny_Jim]

when a man gets an erection it's basically like Tetsuo in the stadium

The mental image of penises flying everywhere.

[touchingcloth]

Something about the phrase "knock off Wonka bars" makes me shriek every time I spot it.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Wanking is mad really when you think about it. "Rub this area for long enough and you'll get an amazing feeling, and depending on your anatomy some stuff might spurt out." You'd tell Uri Geller to fuck off if he told you about it.

[Des Wigwam]

You're supposed to put their right hand in a bucket of warm jazz mags you IDIOT.

[Norton Canes]

Parquelyfe.