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March 29, 2024, 10:06:38 AM

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In praise of Otex

Started by pancreas, November 11, 2021, 10:53:32 AM

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Bently Sheds

I had a ear blockage I tried to shift with Otex, it just slid past the blockage and sat next to my eardrum & made me deaf. I ended up getting my ear syringed by the nurse at my GP. The thing that came out of my lug hole was the size of a manky, curled up gerbil. The amount of stuff I could hear after the syringing was INTENSE. I felt like DareDevil. She warned me off the regular Otex, said it would burn the inside of your ears.
If so, what is point, Otex?

olliebean

Quote from: Povidone on November 11, 2021, 03:09:59 PMOtex is pretty good for a quick declog but nothing beats the feeling of getting irrigation, it's beautiful, I'd have it done once a month just for the feel of it. Like an itch you could never scratch yourself. Lovely.

Looks like I'm never gonna get it done again though now that the NHS don't do it any more and Specsavers are charging £55 a go.

Goldentony

I saw the clinic for this referred to as AURAL TOILET once, officially

Beagle 2

Wait, what do you mean the NHS has stopped doing syringing? Mine need doing, in fact I'm awake now with aching blocked ears. Surely I don't have to do it myself with a squeegee and a water pistol?

Brian Freeze

I stick butt plugs in my ears a heck of a lot and have done for years, should I be having an investigation conducted?

Quote from: Beagle 2 on November 12, 2021, 03:49:57 AM
Wait, what do you mean the NHS has stopped doing syringing? Mine need doing, in fact I'm awake now with aching blocked ears. Surely I don't have to do it myself with a squeegee and a water pistol?
I refer the honourable gentleman to robhug's post on page 1.


Catalogue of ills

Quote from: Beagle 2 on November 12, 2021, 03:49:57 AM
Wait, what do you mean the NHS has stopped doing syringing? Mine need doing, in fact I'm awake now with aching blocked ears. Surely I don't have to do it myself with a squeegee and a water pistol?

I think some local CCGs stopped doing it, but definitely not all. I had mine done at the doctor's not three weeks ago, although such was my pleasure from having it done, I'm not sure I'll be asked back.

mothman

Youngest's ears were syringed a few years back, she'd refused to have them cleaned. Epic amount came out. MrsMoth swears by Hopi ear candles but I reckon that's just quackery.

olliebean

Quote from: Catalogue of ills on November 12, 2021, 03:40:44 PM
I think some local CCGs stopped doing it, but definitely not all. I had mine done at the doctor's not three weeks ago, although such was my pleasure from having it done, I'm not sure I'll be asked back.

It's no longer NHS funded, so any NHS surgery that still does it is either absorbing the cost or on the fiddle.

the Fallen

Any tips for this? Got a blockage that just won't shift even with the squirty heroin needle thingy on page one I have used for ages

Think it's mainly my strategy:

- Normal otex with the fizzing, will it break down the gunk enough to flush out? How long? Half an hour lying on my side?
- Olive oil just turns it into more liquid yeah, so would the flush process squirt synringe thing be good there?

I have both and might just go all Bez and jizz it all up my earhole and let it soak in mmmmm

My local trust do it, but I have to ring up at 8am on a sunday and even then it's not guaranteed, plus time of year. Maybe a new year present to myself though

They'll find all sorts in there I reckon. A lost sock, a tennis ball, a trolley

PlanktonSideburns

So are those syrignges as good as getting the gun? Might buy one

the Fallen

Short of buying a plunger I don't know what else is better in this scandalous NHS-free time. Angled right you can shoot some water right up your hole. I tend to lean over the sink and hold it in place with my left hand and basically forcefully slam the water up my ear. I have dislodged beautiful matter this way, turning it in my fingers in awe like it's a diamond and I'm a character in Snatch

They're, like, £2


the Fallen

I squirted some Otex down my lughole today in the twenty minutes before hoisting myself from my sodden mattress, but I heard no bubbles.

Those sybabgigbbes are good for flushing out excess Otex also.

But Otex ain't bubbling and I can feel a blockage. Maybe it is trapped by a shuttlecock.

But my hearing is back and I'm not in discomfort unless I'm obsessing about it.

This is quite the existential struggle, requiring a firm grasp of post-Kant philosophy, or some kind of miniature pneumatic drill

Galeee

I bought one of those Ronco inspired devices that are mini Archimedes screws, to spiral the gunk out of my ear.
I went deaf in the screwed ear for about three days.
I didn't try ear number two...

Sebastian Cobb

FUCK meddling with your own ears. Do you lot tie a string to your tooth and get someone to slam a door instead of going to a dentist and all?

pancreas

'And then I explained that he had engaged a door with a view to divorcing his tooth and that I had helped him with the string.

'I had wanted to go to sleep and had correctly identified that Cobb would punch my lights out.'

the Fallen


Blue Jam

Quote from: the Fallen on December 20, 2021, 10:00:00 PMShort of buying a plunger I don't know what else is better in this scandalous NHS-free time. Angled right you can shoot some water right up your hole. I tend to lean over the sink and hold it in place with my left hand and basically forcefully slam the water up my ear. I have dislodged beautiful matter this way, turning it in my fingers in awe like it's a diamond and I'm a character in Snatch

They're, like, £2

Aren't they designed so that the jets of water shoot sideways rather than directly at the eardrum?

I really want one as well tbh. Not really got an excuse as my lugholes are frustratingly clean because I am a bit addicted to cleaning them every day. I need to try resisting for a week or so but I always need that wax fix and cave in.


Ferris

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on December 23, 2021, 09:05:18 PMFUCK meddling with your own ears. Do you lot tie a string to your tooth and get someone to slam a door instead of going to a dentist and all?

That's my opinion. Mate of mine did this and ended up unable to stand because he fired some into his inner ear and he had to limp to a doctors to get himself sorted, No thanks.

the Fallen

flushed white balls of Otexed wax out of BOTH ears this morning

that's the REAL christmas then

holyzombiejesus

When I was little, I used to put orange pips in my ear as I enjoyed getting them out. Once one got stuck and as my mum had no tweezers to hand, she tried to get it out with nail scissors.

pancreas

I would have used a vacuum cleaner.

Paul Calf

Quote from: mothman on November 12, 2021, 03:55:29 PMYoungest's ears were syringed a few years back, she'd refused to have them cleaned. Epic amount came out. MrsMoth swears by Hopi ear candles but I reckon that's just quackery.

It's not only quackery, it's really dangerous.

QuoteA survey conducted in the UK notes that otolaryngologists reported treating injuries from ear candling. These injuries included:

    burns
    ear canal occlusions
    eardrum perforations
    secondary ear canal infections, with temporary hearing loss

The most common injury from ear candling is burns, however far more serious injuries such as hearing loss are possible.
https://www.hearingcarecentres.co.uk/candling-ineffective-dangerous/

mothman


MojoJojo



Hammer mode for the really tough blockages.

PlanktonSideburns

Fellow ear phimosis sufferer here

Just bought some

OTEX EXPRESS



looking forward to vesuvian apports akin to Victorian seance

PlanktonSideburns

also if someone wants a totally insane review of otex from a hi-fi components forum, i have one for you here:

https://www.hifisystemcomponents.com/forum/otex-express-combi-pack-review_topic4214_post52217.html