Oreos are dogshit

[Tony Tony Tony]

Can I shock you?

It seems there are at least 85 different Oreo flavours.

Oreo

That's taking the piss.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Salted crackers and Dairy Milk.

Ah!  There was a chocolate bar being sold in Aldi that had salted pretzel fragments in it and I was told it was awesome, "like crack", and I Googled up a news story about people saying how amazing they were and confieming it was indeed "like crack".  I tried to get one but for weeks they were sold out which seemed to confirm how popular they were.  After a few weeks I was able to get one and it was very 'meh', and honestly I preferred some of the other chocolate bars in the range.

EDIT: It was this.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Crack isn't awesome though. It is a terrible drug.

[confettiinmyhair]

The Aldi rip offs are as nice and much cheaper.

100% agree Nigel.

[imitationleather]

Crack isn't awesome though. It is a terrible drug.

Useful if you have a lot of tidying to do though.

[touchingcloth]

Crack isn't awesome though. It is a terrible drug.

I took from Jesus' post that the chocolate bar was awesome, like crack. Two separate things, not awesome because it's like crack, but awesome in spite of that.

[Catalogue of ills]

Bourbons are superior in every way. Does America even have an equivalent to a garibaldi?

I am going to lay on you a disturbing fact about Garibaldis and Bourbons. The Garibaldi was first made in 1861 following the Italian revolutionary's visit to South Shields in 1854. So far, so good, despite the unintelligibility of Garibaldi visiting South Shields.

You'd think that the Garibaldi succeeded the Bourbon, would you not? What with the Risorgimento replacing absolutist Bourbon rule in Sicily. But no, Peak Freans, makers of the Garibaldi, started manufacture of the Bourbon in 1910! Which makes the Bourbon a biscuit of absolutist restoration! A betrayal of the values of the French Revolution! A revanchist biscuit, a reactionary biscuit, the brown herald of feudalism.

For this reason, the Bourbon is barred from my biscuit tin. Suppressed, along with the pink wafers, with which it plots its return to the throne of southern Italy.

[Tony Tony Tony]

He got about a bit did Garibaldi.

In 1864 General Garibaldi visited Bedford. General Giuseppe Garibaldi (1807-1882) was a hero of the Risorgiment (a period of Italian cultural and political activism leading to the unification of Italy). He led 1,000 volunteers known as "Red Shirts" in the capture of Sicily and Naples (1860). His conquest led to the formation of the Kingdom of Italy.

During his visit Garibaldi went to the Britannia Iron Works where he inspected the factory, inscribed his name in the visitors' book, and planted a tree as a memento of his visit. Following this he went on to Clapham Park Farm, to see a demonstration of steam ploughing in the company of Mr. James Howard.

not bad going for a one time Circus Clown.

[Blumf]

For this reason, the Bourbon is barred from my biscuit tin. Suppressed, along with the pink wafers, with which it plots its return to the throne of southern Italy.

[Replies From View]

You're eating them wrong. You dip them in a cup of piping hot tea, and suck away the softening biscuit and filling. You fool. You utter, utter fool.

Americans there, famous for slurping upon veritable pools of piping hot tea

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Bourbon is whisky to Americans. Also, they pronounce it wrongly.

[Replies From View]

Salted caramel is often really salt-y caramel. Most sweet things benefit from a bit of salt in the background cos that's how flavour works, but salty caramel is about as nice as a sugary quiche would be.

(which is your favourite food)

[Replies From View]

Can I shock you?

It seems there are at least 85 different Oreo flavours.

Oreo

That's taking the piss.

I haven't checked but I bet one of them is "artificial cheese flavor".

Americans can't even spell flavour properly - of course their tastebuds will be found to be fucked under scrutiny.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Oh gosh no I'd never eat an AMERICAN biscuit, god forbid a SUGAR or a CHEMICAL might touch my tongue. No I'm fine with good old BRITISH biscuit, a PROPER biscuit designed for the withered palate of vicars and pensioners, something that's been exactly the same since the last world war

[Replies From View]

Oh gosh no I'd never eat an AMERICAN biscuit, god forbid a SUGAR or a CHEMICAL might touch my tongue. No I'm fine with good old BRITISH biscuit, a PROPER biscuit designed for the withered palate of vicars and pensioners, something that's been exactly the same since the last world war

Well your words will return to nip you on your bud if it ends up not being the last world war and only the penultimate one, Yanky Biscuits (your new name)

[pigamus]

Oh gosh no I'd never eat an AMERICAN biscuit, god forbid a SUGAR or a CHEMICAL might touch my tongue. No I'm fine with good old BRITISH biscuit, a PROPER biscuit designed for the withered palate of vicars and pensioners, something that's been exactly the same since the last world war

Yeah but they're shit though, that's the point

If we hated everything American we'd never watch a film would we

[JesusAndYourBush]

Peek Freans Trotsky Assortment!

[Replies From View]

What's the business above about some bourbon biscuits using a custard cream mould and being inferior?  I have never seen, heard or tasted of these inferior variants and I am now curious to start consuming great quantities of them out of spite.

Google image search for bourbon biscuits reveals only the expected 'obelisk' version.  Even a search for biscuit tins where they cram in a selection of generic popular biscuit favourites such as pink wafers and curdled wantons.

[pigamus]

You get them in skanky newsagents and they're disgusting, even heroin addicts wouldn't eat them

Even Caitlin Moran in the 1980s wouldn't eat them

[JesusAndYourBush]

What's the business above about some bourbon biscuits using a custard cream mould and being inferior?  I have never seen, heard or tasted of these inferior variants and I am now curious to start consuming great quantities of them out of spite.

In Aldi you can get a big packet with 4 packets of biscuits in it (custard cream, bourbon, nice, shortcake), and the bourbons in those packs are the custard cream shaped ones.  That's the only place I've encountered them.  They're that shape so they fit easily in the pack along with the other 3 types of biscuit.

[JamesTC]

What's the business above about some bourbon biscuits using a custard cream mould and being inferior?  I have never seen, heard or tasted of these inferior variants and I am now curious to start consuming great quantities of them out of spite.

Corner shops tend to have them, or at least they did when I was a kid. Loads of flavour variants of exact shape and size. I remember eating orange and strawberry flavour.

Supermarkets have the normal oblong bourbon, even at the cheapest level, in my experience.

[Replies From View]

You get them in skanky newsagents and they're disgusting, even heroin addicts wouldn't eat them

Even Caitlin Moran in the 1980s wouldn't eat them

Yet suspiciously you have somehow eaten them and apparently survived to tell the tale.

[pigamus]

Yeah and I can still taste them

[Replies From View]

Corner shops tend to have them, or at least they did when I was a kid. Loads of flavour variants of exact shape and size. I remember eating orange and strawberry flavour.

Supermarkets have the normal oblong bourbon, even at the cheapest level, in my experience.

Oh that sounds like custard creams with a rainbosity of different flavours coloured-in, rather than actual bourbons.  Perhaps that's why they have never hitherto flooded my bourbon radar.

[Replies From View]

Yeah and I can still taste them

Boasting

[JesusAndYourBush]

Google image search for bourbon biscuits reveals only the expected 'obelisk' version.  Even a search for biscuit tins where they cram in a selection of generic popular biscuit favourites such as pink wafers and curdled wantons.

[pigamus]

That's not them. They're brown custard creams, literally

[ishantbekeepingit]

I've been saying this for years.  Both bourbons and custard creams are superior, oreos are shit for cunts, specifically the kind of atomised consumer cunt who has no identity beyond their imported television and films.

[JamesTC]

Here they are. These are the ones I mentioned above.

[Replies From View]

Excuse me that's patently not using the same mould as a custard cream.  I am only 42 years old and even I can see that.