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Big Babies - another infantile language thread

Started by Twonty Gostelow, May 23, 2022, 11:28:31 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

JaDanketies

Quote from: QDRPHNC on May 24, 2022, 05:47:28 PMIt's idiocy like this that leads to things like Outlook underlining all instances of "congratulations" in an email and showering out some confetti when you roll over it, you know some Head of Marketing somewhere wanked themselves to sleep over that win.

My brother made it so that spending 6.66 or 4.20 on bandcamp flashes a little easter egg, he's a coder

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on May 31, 2022, 11:55:38 AMNot so much infantile as overtly sexual. But, this is the toss that MARKETERS come up with for money. Look at it, tossed off in five minutes with zero rewrites. The essence of "that'll do"

People hire us marketers so we can say "that'll do, publish that, cheque please." Everyone else agonises about every word choice. "How can our malt loaf packaging really reflect our ethics as a leading supplier of malt loaf?" and they'll end up burning £2 million, two years and 2,000 man-hours on it. But then give me a couple of quid, I'll bang something out, job done. Get back to making malt loaf; you're good at that, and I'm okay at this, maybe.

The Bumlord

These things everywhere:



I will always, always slap the anguished red face just to amuse myself.

QDRPHNC

Quote from: JaDanketies on May 31, 2022, 03:58:13 PMMy brother made it so that spending 6.66 or 4.20 on bandcamp flashes a little easter egg, he's a coder

Tell him I hate him.

Replies From View

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on May 31, 2022, 11:47:32 AMOk, so you wouldn't go round extolling the virtues of Big Bank, but if someone said to you, hey you use Big Bank, are they any good? Would you have said do not bank with them, just out of brazenness? Truthfully you should have given at least a 1 and they were right to contact you.

It's like when eBay sellers start hassling you to rate something after you've bought something from them.  I already completed my side of the deal - I paid money for your product.  That is where the transaction ends unless you fuck up, and the bare minimum I expect is for you not to fuck up.

Bloody entitlement of banks doing it.  Fuck off - you are a bank!  How can you not understand the basics:  you hold my money and you shut the fuck up unless I raise something.  We're not in some kind of co-dependency pact where you need to display being a needy wanker at any time.

Sebastian Cobb

When a firm I worked for got bought out by a North American (well, French Canadian I suppose) firm they started panicking when they saw the results of an internal satisfaction survey because most things were 6-7 / 10, which we all thought was pretty reasonable. Turns out a cultural difference there is that North Americans apparently work from 10/10 and drop stuff down if they're pretty hacked off whereas in the UK we're more likely to start at 5/10 with 5 being 'fine' and bump stuff up and down a bit.

The surveys seemed like a farce anyway but I think they probably put a lot of effort into asking questions that'd give them the answers they desired. It was certainly possible to be relatively miserable but give honest scores across the board that gave the illusion of a happy worker.

gilbertharding

Quote from: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 04:13:24 PMIt's like when eBay sellers start hassling you to rate something after you've bought something from them.  I already completed my side of the deal - I paid money for your product.  That is where the transaction ends unless you fuck up, and the bare minimum I expect is for you not to fuck up.

Bloody entitlement of banks doing it.  Fuck off - you are a bank!  How can you not understand the basics:  you hold my money and you shut the fuck up unless I raise something.  We're not in some kind of co-dependency pact where you need to display being a needy wanker at any time.

I'm guessing that in this particular case - I'd just made use of an actual branch (something I've done perhaps five times in the last decade), and I'm guessing they were collecting data to make a case for closing it. As it happens 90% of the business carried out in this branch is self-service anyway, so I spoke to no-one except for a polite but perfunctory greeting to the person on the door.

Replies From View

Oh in that case you needed to definitely say the experience was needlessly shit in a manner that only a human worker would be able to understand and remedy.

Whatever generates the most inconvenience for the company.

When I was in Departures in Birmingham Airport a few months ago, a sign invited you to partake of refreshments in the various cafes and restaurants.  The advert was all well and good till the very end, where it had the phrase 'Nom-nom!  Slurp-slurp!'

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Replies From View on May 31, 2022, 04:13:24 PMIt's like when eBay sellers start hassling you to rate something after you've bought something from them.  I already completed my side of the deal - I paid money for your product.  That is where the transaction ends unless you fuck up, and the bare minimum I expect is for you not to fuck up.

I've had this from actual companies on Ebay. "blah blah we're a small company and...", fuck off, I am almost certain you're drop shipping, so spare me the sob story and stop taking the credit of the lads in China who are doing all the work while you're at it.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on May 31, 2022, 05:08:22 PMWhen I was in Departures in Birmingham Airport a few months ago, a sign invited you to partake of refreshments in the various cafes and restaurants.  The advert was all well and good till the very end, where it had the phrase 'nom-nom!  Slurp-slurp!'

shart shart