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Chris PINCHer…Private MEMBERS’ club…no…please make the puns stop!

Started by Paul Calf, July 01, 2022, 08:24:11 AM

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Paul Calf

Here it is: the CaB-pun story of the year, and the pun energy is just too much for me.

QuoteThe Conservative Party deputy chief whip Chris Pincher has resigned after he is said to have groped two men while he was drunk.

In a resignation letter sent to Boris Johnson, he said he had "embarrassed himself and other people" by drinking too much at the Conservative Party's private members' club.

I wonder whether they were matey alpha-boss arse slaps or drunken attempts at coition? I shall be watching this story with ever-swelling interest.


What gets me is this isn't the first time he's resigned as a whip over sexual misconduct.

QuoteHe resigned as the assistant whip after he was accused of making unwanted advances toward former Olympic rower and Tory activist Alex Story, nine years before Mr Pincher became an MP.


Dr Rock


Quote from: Dr Rock on July 01, 2022, 10:13:01 AMsexual assault ahaha

Its loltastic because it was men that were assaulted, and that's totally permissable.

Dr Rock


What is it about MPs being 'rapey' bastards, oh yeah power. Off with his hands!


Mr Pinchy what have you done now you cheeky little scamp! You imprisoned two tories in your sex dungeon and gave them the cat?? Oh Pinchy!!


Bet he's woken up with a HADDOCK this morning. EGG-cellent news, eh readers?



the chaps he assaulted were called Inch, Nerve and Salt so at least thats added a small amount of light relief to the whole sordid affair


Is this the same guy as the #nipplegate drink spiker, and the other (?) senior Conservative MP about whom we were wondering a few months back?

Is anyone keeping count?


Paul Calf

Quote from: Alberon on July 01, 2022, 09:40:41 AMWhat gets me is this isn't the first time he's resigned as a whip over sexual misconduct.

Oh, right. He's got form. I wondered whether it was some drunken alpha-bro idiocy at a work do.

dissolute ocelot

It's important to remember that even if you're attending a secret Tory orgy at a Conservative sex dungeon, you still have the right to refuse to do anything with anyone you meet there. Safe, sane, consensual, always.

Bennett Brauer


Paul Calf

Quote from: Cuntbeaks on July 01, 2022, 10:31:18 AMIts loltastic because it was men that were assaulted, and that's totally permissable.

MGTOW in the house.


There does seem to be a rule that the best whips are those with dirt on everyone which I suppose is easier to obtain if you are a mental shagger.


Bet olds Nads wishes that Boris had given her arse a squeeze.


meanwhile olds Arse, the right honourable MP for Upper Buttcrack, wishes Boris would squeeze his nads

Johnny Yesno


He's gone and taken the usual route of going to rehab.

Seems a bit pointless unless he hopes it'll get him back working in the Whip's Office for a third time, but surely his mate Johnson will be out on his arse long before that becomes a possibility.

Paul Calf

Fambo Number Mive

More allegations against him have emerged, including claims that concerns were raised with Downing Street by one MP in February.

Fambo Number Mive

Mail on Sunday alleges that Johnson knew of allegations about Pincher two years ago.