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March 28, 2024, 11:22:07 AM

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Burgers

Started by Greg Torso, July 03, 2022, 12:14:15 PM

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pancreas

I am in a hotel near Birmingham University and I preferred to get drunk rather than career about the suburb of Selly Oak looking for something better. So I had the hotel burger. Among other crimes, they do not seem to know of the substance called 'salt'.

Of the burgers you narrate, Sage Torso, I had #5.

Gurke and Hare

I'm not that bothered about burgers, but the Bleecker ones are really good. Not had one for ages, better track one down before I leave London.

Fishfinger

I don't remember eating a #5, but I'm pretty sure I shat one.

Fr.Bigley

Worst burger I ever ate was when little chef was open (the ones in the north). This weird, grey looking amalgam of beef and ham, like those tinned westlers hamburgers in gravy but without the gravy. Really miserable fodder from a really miserable place to stop to eat on some shit trip to an outdoor museum in the northeast.

One for the Deso thread.


Edit: there are no Little Chef locations left in Britain, despite the fully operational website stating five are left. Can't even go get going bust right, cunts.

I can't believe Five Guys is still getting away with hiding the VAT part of the price until it's time to pay, like some cowboy builder. It can be around a fiver more than the price on menu.

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: curiousoranges on July 03, 2022, 10:53:37 PMI can't believe Five Guys is still getting away with hiding the VAT part of the price until it's time to pay, like some cowboy builder. It can be around an extra fiver more than the price on menu.

Adopting the yank system of tax at point of sale.

But it's not like any of the other American burger chains do that when they crop up in every UK city. Feels like a dick-bag move.

JamesTC

Quote from: curiousoranges on July 03, 2022, 10:53:37 PMI can't believe Five Guys is still getting away with hiding the VAT part of the price until it's time to pay, like some cowboy builder. It can be around a fiver more than the price on menu.

Fucking hell. Never knew that. Took one look at the prices when they opened and walked out. Imagine charging that much and then lumping on another 20%.

Replies From View

Everybody here mostly loves burgers that require a golf brolly skewered through them to hold the ingredients all upright.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Quote from: Stigdu on July 03, 2022, 09:35:58 PMAnyway, standard 1/4 pounder with cucumber, tomato, lettuce, onion and ketchup for me. Cheese is meh. Gherkins can fuck right off.
Gherkins are cucumbers, but better.

Zero Gravitas

I made crab cakes today, this is the first time CaB has caused me to do anything other than lose sleep.

Ferris

Quote from: pancreas on July 03, 2022, 10:35:46 PMI am in a hotel near Birmingham University and I preferred to get drunk rather than career about the suburb of Selly Oak looking for something better. So I had the hotel burger. Among other crimes, they do not seem to know of the substance called 'salt'.

Of the burgers you narrate, Sage Torso, I had #5.

When my parents were forlornly trying to tempt us back to Birmingham (LOL), selly oak was one of the neighbourhoods they would airily mention had a nice housing stock or good rail links to London or whatever, entirely sidestepping the main problem with the place ie it's a dump.

(I mean, it's fine but is it somewhere you could suggest as an aspirational destination for a child who has fucked off to Scotland/Norway/Canada never to return? As temptations go, selly oak is pretty fuckin easily resisted.)

(Bless them, they have themselves given up trying to convince anyone that the suburban West Midlands is nice and have moved to Bristol. I'm amazed it took them this long.)

Anyway I'd forgotten it existed until I read your post and am delighted to hear it is as mediocre as ever and is inflicting a miserable time upon you. Delighted.

The Mollusk

Quote from: pancreas on July 03, 2022, 10:35:46 PMI am in a hotel near Birmingham University and I preferred to get drunk rather than career about the suburb of Selly Oak looking for something better. So I had the hotel burger. Among other crimes, they do not seem to know of the substance called 'salt'.

At the CaB meet in Cambridge the burgers/chips from their pop up vendor were among the saltiest fucking things I'd ever eaten. I couldn't even finish the chips because it felt like the lining of the inside of my mouth was being stripped inside out. So yeah, highly recommend that place if salt's your poison.

shoulders

Can confirm that. Rare use of chip spice further south than Lincoln, but the ratio was 1:3 spice* vs. chip


*shopsoiled cupasoup powder

Pimhole

Quote from: Replies From View on July 03, 2022, 11:16:23 PMEverybody here mostly loves burgers that require a golf brolly skewered through them to hold the ingredients all upright.

If you want them bigger, make them wider, not taller. This is true of so many things.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Zero Gravitas on July 04, 2022, 01:48:49 AMI made crab cakes today, this is the first time CaB has caused me to do anything other than lose sleep.

I made a mushroom bourguignon but I'm not sure what that has to do with burgers.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Pimhole on July 04, 2022, 09:03:00 AMIf you want them bigger, make them wider, not taller. This is true of so many things.

You could also have two of something rather than trying to make something bigger to the point it has structural problems. This is also true of many things.

shoulders

Agree, but additional surface area costs 💰💰💰

Just ask that guy who got his 9" pizza replaced by 2 5" pizzas.

Replies From View

Quote from: Pimhole on July 04, 2022, 09:03:00 AMIf you want them bigger, make them wider, not taller. This is true of so many things.

It's a good job lighthouses already exist and you haven't been tasked to invent the first ever lighthouse with your, with that attitude

amirite lads

Replies From View

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on July 04, 2022, 09:39:10 AMYou could also have two of something rather than trying to make something bigger to the point it has structural problems. This is also true of many things.

It's the age old question of whether it's better to have a Cyclops or a Siamese twin

shoulders

How many age old? 4 age old?

Replies From View

Nowadays you can buy a thick slice of cauliflower which they call a "steak".  World is going absolutely bonkers if you ask

Replies From View

Quote from: shoulders on July 04, 2022, 10:31:37 AMHow many age old? 4 age old?

Ages, like a couple of ice ages

Replies From View

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on July 04, 2022, 09:38:32 AMI made a mushroom bourguignon but I'm not sure what that has to do with burgers.

bourguignon is posh language for "burger bun"

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: Replies From View on July 04, 2022, 10:37:56 AMbourguignon is posh language for "burger bun"

Cobbs getting well pretentious in his old age, why can't he just say burger bun like the rest of us...I'm disappointed as his knowledge of Fray Bentos is unrivalled.

sevendaughters

there are quote unquote hipster burger places that are not devoted to slobbing on half an abbatoir and sticky sauces to render dinner inedible. really i find those places for very jaded people, the kind of people who say that tennis is boring but Nick Kyrgios is 'box office'.

there's a really great place in Worcester (sister place in Hereford) that does really great burgers that are pick-upable. small range and a weekly special. 2 or 3 sides. nice beers and ciders. simple and really well done (the experience, not the meat).

that said I live in Liverpool and there's a Vietnamese place that does a banh-mi that obliterates any burger I've ever had, my rare desire to get a burger just transfers over perfectly to this place. my burgerin' days might be over.

Replies From View

excuse me, burger establishment, could you please assure me that your meat is really badly done as I have been informed

Fr.Bigley

I asked my Vietnamese restaurant for a Bahn-Mi and now I'm not allowed in their 3 locations around the city.

Greg Torso

BURGERS BURGERS BURGERS

NO KEBAB

NO PIZZA

NO CHIP

BURGERS

Greg Torso

In Burgers (2008)

Starring Colin Burgers and Brendan Beefy Gleeson